Gintama (2005) s02e29 Episode Script

People Who Are Picky About Food Are Picky About People, Too

Kyubei Yagyu took Otae away.
In an effort to rescue her, the Odd Jobs trio, led by Shinpachi, and three of the Shinsengumi, led by Kondo, challenged the Yagyu clan.
But, the Four Aces of the Yagyu clan and their leader, Kyubei Yagyu, stand in their way.
In order to take Otae back, they must take on the Yagyu in a six-on-six game of survival.
That was too easy! Hmph.
I was waiting for that.
Now! The strategist is beaten by his own strategy! [Kagura and Okita together gave the Kodokan team a victory over Nishino.
.]
[The second match is between Hijikata and Kitaoji.
A match between a mayo maniac and a ketchup freak.
.]
Okita-san My god Sogo Not Sogo This is terrible.
It's snapped in two.
They must've struck simultaneously I can't see how he could've defeated this man on a broken leg.
He probably defeated him, and then when he was exhausted It can't be! There's no way Sogo would lose Right, Sogo? You were the quickest study at our dojo.
You surpassed everyone in no time at all.
You're teasing me again, aren't you? I won't fall for that.
Right, Sogo? Answer me, Sogo! They won't get away with this.
They won't get away with this! I swear! Was it necessary to go this far?! Wasn't it supposed to end once the plate was broken?! Those bastards must enjoytormenting people! Their cell phone Maybe they left evidence of who did this to Okita-san Dammit! Who the hell did such a cruel thing?! Sogo, I'll get revenge for you, I swear! Right, Shinpachi-kun? Dammit! Who did this to Okita-san?! I have no idea! If I ever find out, I'm seriously going to kill the bastard! Yeah! I'll kill the bastard, too! Huh? Why're you perspiring? It's hot in here.
Turn on the air conditioner! Those dummies! Come on out! Where'd you go?! We're avenging Okita-san! Forgive us.
We didn't know you were having a meal.
Wrong room.
What the hell are you doing?! ["People Who Are Picky About Food Are Also Picky About People, Too".]
Can't fight on an empty stomach.
Care to join us? I'm not eating a meal prepared by the enemy! Hijikata-san, what're you doing relaxing and taking it easy? Let's have the three of us take him out! Hey! Don't interfere.
Hijikata-san! I'm eating fried rice.
You're having fried rice?! Pass the ketchup, will you? Hm, this? Hey, what's going on here? There's no tension or anything here.
Ordinary people wouldn't understand.
The match has already begun.
Samurai do things their own way, be it a meal or even how they hold their chopsticks.
Everything they do in their daily life is training for their spirit.
It is how a samurai builds a strong, iron-willed spirit.
Toshiro Hijikata.
Do you have that in you? Ketchup! That much ketchup on your rice omelet?! Let me say one thing.
Everyone around me thinks I'm totally crazy for ketchup, but the truth is, I can't stand tomatoes.
Just looking at one makes me want to puke.
By eating what I detest in excess, I build up an unbendable strong spirit.
Now I've come to love the tomatoes that I once couldn't eat and even eat my tomatoes with ketchup.
That's not training.
That's just plain unhealthy.
Could you do what I did? Wh-What is that white stuff?! Mayonnaise! M-Mayonnaise Mayonnaise on fried rice?! They don't go together! Could he also be? Let me say one thing.
Everyone around me thinks I'm a total mayo maniac, but the truth is, I can't stand mayonnaise.
Just seeing that red cap makes me want to puke.
[Note: Japanese mayo comes in a plastic squeeze bottle with a red cap.
.]
He's lying! He's lying through his teeth because he doesn't want to lose! That mayo maniac! Hmph.
I see they don't call you the Demon Vice-Chief for nothing.
That was quite an interesting meal.
I need a smoke.
Do you have an ashtray? Where's your thanks for the meal before you smoke? Thanks for the god-awful meal.
Here Your ashtray! You have faster reflexes than I expected.
You possess exceptional physical skillsreflexes Intuition and courage nurtured by surviving numerous close calls with death.
Fight-tested sword skills indeed.
Most ordinary swordsmen would be no match for you.
But that fighting style only works on third-rate swordsmen.
It won't work in a duel between two masters.
You? A master? You look like you've never even killed a bug in your life, sonny.
Killing each other is not all there is to swordsmanship.
Bring it on! You'reall talk! I know what you're going to do.
You use a head-on attack that leaves you open for your enemy to attack.
And when he does, you use your quick instincts to parry the blow.
I can readyour moves as well! Your instincts are too sharp.
Toshi! You twisted your body to protect the plate from the blow.
Your instincts are truly impressive.
But that will be your demise.
This is bad.
That man figured out Toshi's habits in such a short time.
In the real-sword fighting style that we Shinsengumi are proud of, taking a single blow from an opponent means certain death.
That's why the ability to sense danger is an absolute requirement.
The ability to sense your opponent's movements using a highly honed intuition to stop the enemy's attack.
Toshi is better at that than anyone.
But this guy's dojo swordsmanship excels at surprise attacks to score points rather than killing blows.
Versus this guy, Toshi's exceptional instincts work against him.
Carrying that huge plate, he's forced to react quicker than usual.
That guy will attack Toshi's openings.
He'll feign an attack and back off.
Act like he's backing away, then strike.
Toshi will unconsciously react to that guy's countless feints.
That guy will do it over and over again.
He is unmistakably a master.
His is a dojo sword style that can bend the minds of others to his will.
If this were a dojo match, I'd have already scored multiple times.
And if this were a real fight, you'd have already lost your life.
Give it up already.
You'll be stuck on the defensive with that huge plate.
You still want to continue? A point, two pointsit doesn't matter how many you get-it's all irrelevant! A fight with real swords means you have to keep fighting even if you lose an arm or a leg.
Just so long as your head is still attached.
This is why I detest the barbaric country samurai fighting style By the way, I borrowed an ashtray.
I can't get going without a smoke.
Is that my plate?! Damn you, when did you When?! Huh? I still have it.
That'sfrom earlier I don't know if you'd call that a feint, but I won't lose to you when it comes to deception.
For all the ketchup you poured on your rice omelet, you kept it to a reasonable amount.
You're unable to break away from your set forms.
That's the limitation of dojo swordsmanship.
I put mayonnaise even on dessert.
Come.
I'll show you what real fighting is.
Fights, real battles In my time, I've seen many like yourself who shout such words and make light of dojo practice.
They lose the match, but claim their swordsmanship is more suited to actual battle.
They claim they wouldn't lose if it had been with real swords.
Those are all excuses.
That drivel is what people who don't practice say.
I've heard enough.
No matter how much natural ability you have, no matter how many times you've been in a real fight, you cannot win against someone who trains everyday.
That's what I believe.
But, there are some who believe my thinking is old-fashioned.
It's old, all right.
And so it that deformity.
Anyone who thinks my deformity is old-fashioned is really the old-fashioned ones.
No, yours is beyond old.
Hey, what's with your eyes? Why do they look like butts? You're more rude than old-fashioned.
While you were wildly swinging your swords around screaming about fights and real battles, we were doing everything we could to train ourselves.
You people cannot win against us.
No, no, you're certainly deadly with words.
Now, let's try swords.
Fool! Learn your lesson! Hmph.
Your attack pattern never changes.
No matter how many times you attack as long as you carry that huge plate, you'll always have to be on the defensive.
If I show any sign of striking at that plate, you'll always switch to the defensive.
Even if you know I'm feinting, you'll bite.
That will leave you open.
Here's the bait.
Bite.
You're just a small fry! What? I'm sick of your cheap bait.
If you want to land this fish, bring me a full course meal smothered in mayonnaise.
No more fishing me out! I won'tretreat anymore! A high-speed attack to counter the feints.
His plan is to mount a ferocious attack so his enemy has no time to counter-attack.
Offense is the best defense.
He's finally acting like himself.
I see you're trying to finish this.
But you can't launch a decisive attack in a place with such poor footing.
Your movement is hampered, so you'll just exhaust yourself.
What's more, you have a fatal weakness.
Don't give me that! I can read your moves like a book.
Monotonous brute force strikes that never change.
No matter how many times you swing, you won't be able to hit me even once.
You may be able to read my sword But you can you read my feet underwater?! You said I'm stuck in my set forms, but from what I can see, you're the one stuck in set forms.
Thousands, tens of thousands of patterns and counters have been hammered into my body.
I have learned every possible set form.
It's more reliable than the simple intuition and instinct you rely on.
In a duel, it manifests as a split-second difference in decision-making.
In a duel between masters, that difference becomes fatal! This is the difference between you and me.
Neglecting to work hard because you were too full of your own natural ability will be your downfall! This is the strength of the dojo swordsmanshipthat you mocked! Oh no! That guy is insanely strong! Kondo-san, let's help him! Kondo-san! Sorry.
Please don't assist him.
What? It's hard to hold back when Otae-san is at stake, but he hates to lose more than anyone.
If you interfere, he'll kill you.
You say he hates to lose, but if this continues, he'll lose anyway! Maybe so.
But if we assist Toshi, it will mean that I didn't trust him.
He knows better than anyone that street style sword fighting won't defeat that guy.
Right, Toshi? It happened a long time ago, before we came to Edo, when I was still training in our dojo out in the country.
There was a young thug who went around making a lot of trouble.
He was a loner with excellent fighting skills.
A delinquent who went looking for fights at all the dojos in the area and beat them up.
The guys at country dojos are all hot-blooded punks.
They were losing face and decided to join together to beat the guy up.
They had no Bushido honor of fighting one-on-one.
Anyway, the kid deserved it.
So I went to watch.
Turns out the kid had balls.
Even against large numbers, he wasn't a bit intimidated.
Instead of apologizing, he went on a rampage against the large group, taking down one after another.
Damn was he strong.
But there was no way he could win against such numbers.
In the end, he kept fighting until he was beaten to a pulp.
I debated what to do and then decided to bring him back to my dojo.
He looked like he would've died If I left him there and he seemed like an interesting fellow.
I can't do any more.
That's my limit.
My arms are gonna fall off.
Don't give up so easily! At this rate, I'll never be able to pass on the dojo to you! I'll probably die soon.
What'll you do then? What's the point of swinging this heavy log? My hands are covered with blood blisters! Swordsmanship is not about technique.
It's about attitude, fool! Swinging that log improves your sword skill and strengthens your character! It grounds you! Don't swing with your hands.
Discipline your breathing and swing with your entire body! Look at Sogo.
He's so tiny, but he's swinging that thick log.
Isn't he amazing? You are amazing.
I knew you had it in you.
You are a prodigy.
Huh? Is this peeling? This is nothing but tree bark.
Good grief.
This is why nobody wants to train here.
Huh? Give it a try? Maybe not.
Not with those injuries.
From what I can tell, you're blessed with natural talent.
You haven't studied under anyone, but your movements and instinct are extraordinary.
But you can't win on talent alone.
In the end, it's the guy who works hard that wins.
Not interested.
Nobody becomes a great swordsman by playing with lumber.
He's just a punk, after all.
But despite his words, he stayed.
He watched us train like a hungry wolf watching a herd of bacon-wrapped sheep.
But one day, even though his wounds hadn't fully healed, he disappeared from the dojo.
I was worried and went looking for him.
Move, you! We're on our way to raid the Kondo dojo! We heard they were sheltering you! Why'd they do that?! That's why I left.
They're not involved anymore.
Leave them alone.
You may have nothing to do with them, but we still do! Before we beat up the Kondos, we'll kick the crap out of you! He had become stronger than before.
Despite his injuries, he possessed a solid framework to his form that hadn't been there before.
I couldn't just stand by and watch.
In the end, he and I were the only ones left standing.
Surrounded by our defeated enemies.
Why're you here? You can't use our sword style to act like a ruffian.
When did I ever join your school? And besides, you did a lot of fighting yourself.
For crying out loud, What are you, some sort of good Samaritan? I was trying to return your favor, but now I owe you again.
You don't owe me anything.
Come back and visit us anytime.
You're already one of our students.
Like I said before-when did I ever join your school? Those hands Are the proof.
How many times did you swing it? Even I didn't get that many blisters.
No wonder your injuries were slow to heal.
These aren't blisters.
My hand got caught in the automatic door of the Yotsukoshi Department Store.
[Note: Parody of Mitsukoshi Department Store.
.]
That's who Toshiro Hijikata is.
He never expresses his feelings to anyone.
And he never shows it on his face.
But I know Back then, and now The only thing he cares about is sword fighting.
He's hiding his sword underwater so I can't read where it's coming from.
Nice try! Do you think that'll work on me now?! No one trains harder than him.
Certainly, compared to the showy sword style of the Yagyu, it might be a rough and unpolished country style, but his sharply honed sword skills can slice through steel! Hijikata-san! Sorry for the wait.
Toshi, you got beaten by him pretty badly this time.
Huh? These aren't from that guy.
I got caught in the automatic door of the Marui Department Store.
[Note: Parody of OIOI Department Store.
.]
So Nishino and Kitaoji are both out? I wasn't expecting the enemy to do this well.
I miscalculated a bit.
I thought with Kitaoji there, the three of you would be enough Now there are five of them, and we're already down to three Tojo-san, we have four.
I'm still in.
One of the Four Aces: Sui Minamito.
I got caught off guard and they roughed me up a bit, but the plate is still intact.
Please give me another chance to make up for it.
Oh, that's right.
Then Now there are three.
Having someone like you around would only disgrace the name of the dojo.
I, Ayumu Tojo, head of the Four Yagyu Aces will not forgive anyone who tarnishes our Young Lord's name.
The next episode "Four Heads are Better than One.
" [Tojo ruthlessly eliminated Minamito.
Kyubei finally joins the battle!.]
[Meanwhile, Gintoki and Kondo are engaged in an epic struggle.
.]

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