Gintama (2005) s03e02 Episode Script

Rules Are Made to be Broken

[The Shinsengumi has 45 articles strictly enforced by the laws of the "Kyukuchu Hatto.
".]
[Hijikata, the man who created those laws, couldn't possibly?! And "the man" who returned is?!.]
[Shinsengumi Headquarters.]
Did you hear? It seems that guy is returning to Edo after finishing his job.
It's Sensei, right? His baggage arrived already.
The new weapons he got are inside.
I heard he also picked up some good quality swords, so the top members are scrambling.
They're really lucky.
I want a new sword, too.
Ah-hem.
Ah, Yamazaki-san.
Ah! Could that sword be an Osafune Mark II?! [Note: Parody of Bizen Osafune, a famous sword.
.]
That's great! It's got the brand name on it.
So cool! Well, it's not like I came here to show it off.
I just happened to pass by.
By chance I'm jealous.
Just a little Please let me try a practice swing! Ah, of course you can.
Wow! I can really feel that brand-name difference! Additionally, it's waterproof.
I don't want to brag, you know Hey, what are you guys making such a fuss about? Ah, Captain Okita.
Look at Yamazaki-san's sword Huh? That sword is a Kikuichimonji RX-78! [Note: It's rumored the historical Soji Okita used a sword named Kikuichimonji.
.]
It has a built-in digital music player with a maximum playing time of 124 hours! It's the Kikuichimonji RX-78! It costs twice as much as the Osafune! The swords at the captain's level are really something! Hmm Is this sword that great? I just picked it up without thinking, so I didn't realize that.
Huh? What's that stick? Yamazaki What is that? Did you buy that? It almost looks rusted.
Captain, please let me try a few practice swings for a bit! Wow! This first-class stuff is really amazing! It sounds completely different! The deep bass is amazing! Hey, what's going on? Why is it so noisy this morning? Chief! I'm sorry.
Well That sword is The Kotetsu Z-Second.
[Note: Kotetsu Nagasone was a famous swordsmith.
The historical Isami Kondo was said to own a fake Kotetsu sword.
.]
Not only does it have digital music equipment, but it also has a special metal attachment on the end that can be used as a floor cleaner! It costs three times as much as the Kikuichimonji! Cool! You guys are using such cheap swords? A sword is a samurai's soul.
If you use such shabby swords, it'll reveal the true nature of your soul.
Kondo-san, you're great! We won't ever be equal to you.
We should work harder and hope to some day own stuff on your kind of level.
Kondo-san, can I try some practice swings for a moment? Ah, go right ahead.
There! Kotetsu! Ah, I'm sorry.
I thought a sword like this could cut through rock, but it failed.
You! You definitely did that on purpose! You were jealous of my Kotetsu-chan You were jealous! ["Rules Are Made to be Broken".]
I'm not going to say a sword is a samurai's soul.
Besides, I don't think the level of the sword one carries raises his status.
For me, a sword is just a sword.
And that's the most important thing to me.
Most important of all is a sword that can break through the enemy's blade.
It seems you're overdoing it as rashly as ever.
A sword can be used again after it's been mended, but humans don't work that way.
As long as a human doesn't break, he can recover, right? If you keep fighting in such a way that damages your sword so much, you'll end up being broken in two pretty soon.
That's what I meant.
This looks like a good sword.
Old man, until mine is repaired, let me borrow this.
You can't use that one.
That sword comes with a story behind it.
What? You mean I can listen to music with it or it can be used as a floor cleaner? There's no question that sword is terribly sharp.
However It's cursed.
Cursed? You've got to be kidding me.
An ordinary sword user will be consumed by the soul of that sword.
You won't able to handle it.
Will you listen to my old story for a moment? It's a tragic tale of a reincarnated demonic sword But I didn't listen to it.
In general, old men's stories tend to be long.
I don't have time for that.
Whether its price is high or low, whether it can be used to listen to music, or whether the sword is cursed, it doesn't matter to me.
You must be Shinsengumi Vice-Chief Toshiro Hijikata-dono.
Although you're a samurai, you've sided with the Amanto for perks! You're a traitor! We, the advanced party of the Anti-Foreigner Faction, are here to bring punishment from heaven! This is a chance to test it out.
Let me see how this cursed demonic sword works.
Here we go! I'm sorry! Huh? What's this? Wh-What am I doing? My body is moving on its own My mouth is moving on its own I'm sorry! My life! Please spare me! I'll lick anything, even the soles of your sandals! Who's this pathetic guy?! That's Toshiro Hijikata! The man who is feared as the Demon Vice-Chief! How miserable! Wh-Wh-What's wrong with me?! My body doesn't respond at all! An ordinary sword user will be consumed by the soul of that sword.
Don't tell me This?! Why is the demonic sword's curse making me act this way?! That's ridiculous! I don't know what's going on, but we'll be paying you back for everything you did to us before! You just said you would lick the soles of our sandals, didn't you?! Then lick it! Y-You bastard! It may be a cursed sword or whatever, but I Ugh won't! Um Please forgive me by accepting this.
I have 3,000 yen.
But please don't take my Suica, because I won't be able to go home without it.
[Note: Suica is a rechargeable IC card used as a fare card on train lines in Japan.
.]
Don't screw with us! What's with this guy?! He's flip-flopping his personality! Anyway, why does an adult like you have only 3,000 yen?! This is bad There's something totally wrong with me I'm a goner As things are I'll be finished Hey! A familiar uniform.
A familiar stance.
But his face is I just saw a member of the Shinsengumi being attacked, so I rushed over here What are you doing in a place like this, Hijikata-kun? You're A toast to Kamotaro Ito-kun's return.
Cheers! Cheers! Well, Ito Sensei, you did a good job this time.
But that many weapons I wonder how you got those stingy people in the government to loosen their purse strings! Kondo-san, being stingy means being shrewd enough to profit from a different viewpoint.
All you have to do is just explain that the government will profit by making expenditures on us Though, just as you say, Kondo-san, they're pertinacious people who don't care about our hardships and groveling.
It wasn't easy for me to explain it to them, in a way they could easily understand.
That's right! That's absolutely right! They're pertinacious! They really are! Kondo-san, what does pertinacious mean? You shut up! Kids should be quiet! Kondo-san, if people like them stay at the top, this country will be ruined.
We can't stay in a smoldering place like this.
We have to move forward! We must work toward a higher goal! And we'll eventually become like the swords, the keystones of this country.
I believe that saving this confused country is the mission for those of us born as samurai.
For that, I wouldn't mind giving my life to you! Kondo-san, let's work hard together! Right.
Everyone, let's work hard pertinacious! No, you're using "pertinacious" the wrong way.
Ito-san has started expressing his valuable opinions again.
Even the Chief calls him "Sensei.
" He's just a newcomer who joined us only a year ago.
I wonder if he's getting so full of himself because he was just assigned the title of advisor.
I'm not blaming him.
He's intelligent, really good at his job and is fully proficient in Hokuto Itto Ryu.
[Note: The Hokuto Itto Ryu is a northern sword style.
.]
Vice-Chief is also intelligent, but he's really only a battle strategist.
So Ito-san's the only person who can manage political matters.
No wonder he is a great help to the chief.
Ito-san has hardly ever been in the headquarters but it might be about time For what? I've never seen Ito-san and Hijikata-san talk about each other, only about their jobs.
Hijikata-kun, I have something to ask you.
What a coincidence me, too.
You hate me, don't you? Because I'm Kondo-san's favorite, and although I'm a newcomer, I'm rising to fame so fast that it threatens you.
I bet I'm an eyesore to you, right? That's what you think? You want to advance in your career, but I'm higher than you.
I bet I'm an eyesore to you, right? It's a groundless suspicion, Hijikata-kun.
I don't think about that kind of thing.
That's good.
It seems we have cleared up any misunderstandings.
An eyesore It's even more than that.
Some time in the future, I'll kill you.
Toshi I heard about you from Ito Sensei.
That was a stroke of bad luck.
How's your injury? Toshi Although we call ourselves samurai, we're really just a bunch of country boys.
[Kyukuchu Hatto.]
Even though that's what we are, when facing death, we're able to act more like samurai than real samurai.
It was because of the Kyokuchu Hatto, the strict laws you created, that we can be like that.
It has 45 articles, encompassing everything from daily behavior to manners, and even battle preparation.
These are the strict laws that govern us.
If you break any one of those laws, you'll have to commit seppuku.
That's your image of the ideal samurai.
We all agree.
Do you understand, Toshi? You're the ideal samurai model for everyone.
Everyone models himself after you.
Everyone watches you.
I'm not in a position to say this, but don't do anything to betray the way of the samurai.
He's quite a guy.
As quick as a flash, news of my shameful behavior has spread.
Well, for him, it's the perfect opportunity to defeat me and rise up the ladder.
Toshi, stop talking that way.
Ito Sensei is thinking about the spirit of the group I already told you to stop calling him "Sensei.
" Kondo-san, are you going to give your position of Chief to him? If that's not the case, are you going to share your position as head of the Shinsengumi with him? Need I remind you that members are unsure about how to treat him.
His former colleagues, who entered at the same time, are already his allies.
Are you saying that Ito Sensei is trying to take over the Shinsengumi? Who knows? But ever since he got here he's done nothing but gather allies and influence.
It's obvious he's up to something.
He's not as powerful as he wants to be and he's not satisfied.
Kondo-san If a snake has two heads one either has to rot and fall off or the ensuing feud will split the body in two.
I believe that Ito Sensei is a crucial man for the Shinsengumi.
Hey, Toshi, we're not doing this to ensure your own position.
We're doing this to protect Edo and to stick to the ways of the samurai.
To get that wisdom, I'll ask for anyone who can teach it.
It's natural to call the person who teaches us "Sensei.
" If you ask me to treat him like a follower, I'll refuse.
I've never thought of you guys as my followers.
As for the way of the samurai, we're on equal footing.
Kondo-san, you don't understand anything.
Pretty words won't help manage the organization! Toshi! Pretty Girl Samurai, Tomoe 5000 is here! [Note: Parody of Sailor Moon.]
Damn it! It's already started! I forgot to record it! Tomoe-chan! My bodyagain What am I watching?! Punishment is complete.
Hey, hey, did you hear about the Vice-Chief? Hear what? The Vice-Chief was attacked by Anti-Foreigner Faction ronin the other day.
He was saved by Ito-san.
But you probably won't believe it.
The Vice-Chief knelt, bowed and begged for his life.
It's impossible that something like that could happen.
He would rather die than do something like that.
He's the demon Vice-Chief.
The "demon.
" But I heard it, too.
Hey, hey, cut it out already.
If this conversation is overheard, we'll be in trouble.
It's against the Kyokuchu Hatto rules to pass JUMP around.
"No reading of manga, except for MAGAZINE, allowed in the headquarters.
" [Note: MAGAZINE refers to "Weekly Shonen MAGAZINE, a rival of Shonen JUMP.
.]
If someone sees us, we'll have to commit seppuku.
Hijikata prefers MAGAZINE.
Let me see that.
Moreover, he liked yankee manga a decade ago.
It's hard for us JUMP fans.
[Note: Yankee manga is a genre where bad boys fight others.
.]
V-Vice-Chief! Wh-When did you?! No, that's like nothing That'suh! The thickness of the book is about the sameso I bought it by mistake! Hey! Yes, sir! "To Love-Ru" is really great.
[Note: "ToLoveる" is a manga in JUMP.
.]
I'm going to buy the manga.
"To-To-To Love-Ru?" Is that the Vice-Chief?! For argument's sake, "Boys be…" [Note: "Boys be…" is a manga in Weekly Shonen MAGAZINE.
.]
[MEETING ROOM.]
These days, attacks by Anti-Foreigner Faction ronin have increased.
So, make sure not to go off on your own.
Yes, sir! Then, I'll assign today's shift.
Squad one is… Damn it! My cell phone! You idiot! If your cell phone rings during a meeting, you'll have to commit seppuku according to the Kyukuchu Hatto.
Hijikata-san! Nothing… I… My wife is in labor, so she called me… [Note: The Pretty Cure (a magical girl series) song is playing.
.]
Hello, this is Hijikata… Yes…right now? No problem.
Huh? The limited-edition DVD BOX comes with a figurine? Well, then…one to save, and one for that… I'll need a total of two sets.
Hey! Spit it out! I'm asking you where your headquarters is! I won't sell out my own comrades! Kill me! I'd rather die like a samurai than shame myself! Hey, hey! Do you really think you can die in a place like this? We'll make you feel like you’re in a hell worse than death from now on.
Vice-Chief! Work him over! Please.
Get out of here, you guys.
Y-Yes.
He's a really scary guy… When the Vice-Chief works a guy over with his own hands, the interrogation room becomes completely silent.
However, five minutes later, even the bravest men start crying and spit out everything.
Wh-What's going on inside? Just take a peek.
You'll see hell on earth.
What? Is there anyone you like? Not really.
I don't have anyone.
Come on! I already told you, so it’s your turn to tell me.
It's not fair! Not fair! You lied to me, didn't you?! You did! You tell me! All right! I'll tell you then! But don't tell anyone! It's a secret.
Well, I don't know about that.
Oh, damn it! The teachers are on patrol.
Put out the cigarettes! Is this a school trip or something? …That's how it goes.
After I got this sword, everything went wrong.
It looks like I’m really cursed.
That’s why I didn't want to tell you.
You don't believe me, do you? There's no way you'll believe me.
Just like that, I had switched personalities with someone completely different.
No, that wasn't someone else.
The weak side inside everyone gets awakened by this sword.
Hijikata-san, you can't blame being weak on the sword.
You were weak to begin with, Hijikata-san.
That's right; I'm always like this… Oh, my…this is really something strange.
Then why don't you just throw away that cursed sword? I would, If I could.
I even find myself carrying it with me to the toilet and bath.
I can't get rid of it, even if I want to.
And the old man at the swordsmith’s isn't there anymore.
Then are you trying to say…that's the reason you had a fight with Kondo-san? …I wish I could say that… Hijikata-san, if you don’t pay attention this time, Ito-san will take away your vice-chief position.
No time for that now.
Since I became like this, I've already broken more than ten of the Kyokuchu Hatto rules.
If Ito delivers a sentence for seppuku tomorrow, I wouldn't be surprised.
As I am right now, I wouldn't refuse.
If you're with me, you'll attract Ito's attention.
…Hijikata-san… Wait, Hijikata-san! [Note: Yakisoba pan is noodles in a hot dog bun.
.]
Go buy me a Yakisoba pan.
And JUMP, too.
Of course, you pay for them.
Toshi is late.
It's already past the time.
This is a really important meeting… Kondo-san.
This is a good opportunity.
I was going to bring him up for discussion.
I think you’ve already heard about his recent behavior.
He broke the Kyokuchu Hatto rules more than ten times.
And yet he created those rules for the members.
Besides him being late for an important meeting like this, If we continue to let him act like this, we won't be able to control the other members.
Sensei, hold on.
I know Toshi well.
He must have something exceedingly important… I'm not only talking about this particular case.
Of course, I fully understand what he achieved for the Shinsengumi before.
That's why I want to give him some candid advice.
If he's the symbol of the Shinsengumi, and he downplays the rules, other members will do the same.
A pack of wolves that has lost its discipline will be like sheep without a shepherd.
He's the one who deserves strict punishment! Kondo-san, please make a firm decision! Hold on! Toshi will definitely… Hi! I bought your Yakisoba pan, Okita Senpai! I'm sorry, but they didn't have JUMP, so I got MAGAZINE… D-Damn it! I was trapped! Those guys…were working together! [To Be Continued.]
[Preview.]
I didn't expect anything like that, Okita-kun.
That you would be on my side.
What do you desire? Naturally…the Vice-Chief position.
["Otaku Are Talkative".]
[Hijikata knowingly broke the "Kyokuchu Hatto", and has been exiled from the Shinsengumi.
.]
[He becomes a hopeless otaku and visits the Odd Jobs with "a request.
".]

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