Gintama (2005) s04e04 Episode Script

That Person Looks Different from Usual During a Birthday Party

The land of the host.
[Note: Spoof of Episode 3.
.]
There was a time, long ago, when our town was called by that name.
Those dream-filled Shinjuku skies upon which Japanese hosts once gazed on their dreams are now filled with words by hosts from foreign countries.
However, there were two men.
The enigmatic vagrant, Kintoki Sakata, and the former number one host, Shinpachi Buttchin.
The two of them still run in this corrupt night town.
[Kintama.]
Yes It was all this buttchin's fault.
The reason I couldn't become the number one host That would be this chin, which looked like a buttcrack.
I cursed fate for bringing me into this infernal world with such a chin, and blamed everything on this world.
But Kintoki said You, then [Note: From popular phrase by CEO of Johnny's Entertainment, Johnny Kitagawa.
.]
Get a chin job.
His words woke me up.
Yes There was a simple solution.
[Final Episode.]
I'm happy for you, Shinpachi.
The surgery was a success.
What's wrong? Take the bandages off already.
Well, I'm a little worried Wondering if I've actually been reborn H-How does my chin look? Perfect.
Plastic surgery these days is crazy stuff.
[Note: Kintoki is talking like kids in Shibuya.
.]
Why don't you take a look yourself? It's true I no longer have a buttchin.
My chin no longer looks like a butt It looks like the front.
[Fin.]
[Sweet Shop: sweets and cake.]
Um, excuse me.
Is the cake I ordered ready? Oh, little lady.
Hold on a moment.
Here, it's done.
[Note: On cake: "Happy Birthday Kyu-chan.
".]
Doesn't it look great, Sis? I'm sure Kyubei-san will love it.
That's right.
Thanks so much, Mister.
Come again.
Still, I wonder how many years it's been since I went to a birthday party.
I'm getting all excited, even though it isn't my birthday.
That's right.
We don't actually age, a la the Sazae-san system, [Note: From Sazae-san series, where characters don't age.
.]
so we couldn't have birthday parties if we wanted to.
Sis, please stop saying things like that.
Today, we aren't just celebrating this birthday for Kyu-chan, but for the rest of us and the members of Sazae-san as well.
["That Person Looks Different From Usual During A Birthday Party.
".]
Come to think of it, where's Gin-san and everyone else? They'll come after they buy presents.
Will they be all right? I hope they don't buy anything strange.
Otae-dono.
Shinpachi-dono.
Tojo-san, what are you doing there? Shh.
Hurry! Over here! It'll be a problem if you enter through the front door right out in the open! The celebration of Kyubei Yagyu's birthday was a surprise I planned in secret.
Though the young master is out training, we should be careful and enter through the back door.
Ah, I see.
Kyubei-san doesn't know about this.
Makes sense A birthday party? Who needs that crap? Would be her likely response.
These are the programs for today's event, so please flip through them.
And a script has been prepared, so please memorize your lines before the young master returns.
A script?! You've got a script?! How excited about this are you?! There's no need for any ad-libbing or the like, so please stick to the script.
U-Uh, Tojo-san? I know that you're excited, but the birthday party won't be any fun if you're so strict about it Shin-chan.
Shin-chan.
Look over there.
Doesn't that person look familiar? Isn't that the actor, Shunnosuke Oguri?! [Note: From popular young actor, Shun Oguri.
.]
What is a red-hot actor doing in this place?! Of course, I invited him to the celebration of our young master's birth.
Shin-chan, the person over there, too.
Whoa! It's Tamo-san! A big name in daytime television! Is he also Obviously.
This is a celebration of the birth of the young master of the famous Yagyu clan, so this is only natural.
I-Incredible Celebrities from entertainment and political circles are all over the place! This is the power of the Yagyu clan The power of the famous, appointed instructors for the Shogun's household! We'll be using ocean shrimp and oysters, marinated in Chat Filhot, cooked a la Provence with a thick sauce.
[Note: In French.
.]
[Note: In French.
.]
Yes, sir.
Oh no.
I had no idea so many people were invited.
How will we cut the cake? We'll end up with slices the size of little steak cubes.
Is this the time to be talking about that, Sis?! We're completely out of place here! Like we don't belong here.
I dressed casually since I heard it was a birthday party But this isn't anything cozy like that! You were invited as friends of the young master, but under normal circumstances, people of your status would not be admitted.
Just stick to the script, keep your mouths shut, and stay in your seats.
Refrain from any actions that would be conspicuous or ruin the mood.
Do not shame the young master.
I'll go get the young master now.
Sis, we need to meet up with Gin-san and everyone else.
If we let them run around this place unsupervised, all hell will break loose.
You don't need to worry about that.
They know to behave appropriately for the situation.
Ah, they're over there.
See.
They're sitting quietly in their seats.
You're right.
That's a relief.
Guess we found them before they had time to do anything.
Hasegawa-san and Katsura-san.
I guess the people who went to Ryugu Castle were invited.
[Note: From Eps.
115-118.
.]
See? Even Kamenashi-san's shell is here.
[Note: He appeared in Eps.
115-118.
.]
I wonder if his actual body disappeared.
Don't say creepy stuff like that.
His wife might be giving birth again [Note: The body of Kamenashi's wife disappeared so she looked like a skeleton during her pregnancy in Ep.
115-116.
.]
Still, everybody seems oddly serious.
Maybe they're nervous? Since they're surrounded by celebrities.
Something's odd.
What are they doing? Five! One, two, three, four, five! Booya! I become a popular actor and my income goes up twenty million! I get twenty million every time I circle the board now! I've won! I've undeniably won! I'm a winner! I've become a winner! Finally! Shut up! This isn't over until the end! No, I've won! You losers will never be able to catch up! Because I'm an actor! A winner! On the game board, sure.
Even if you're rich in the game, don't forget that it doesn't change the fact that you're unemployed in real life, dumbass.
You didn't have to mention that! Can't you let me dream when we're playing a game?! Shove it, DORK.
A person who hasn't worked a second in his entire life shouldn't get cocky.
What's that?! At least I'm not a loser in both the game and real life, like you guys! That's going too far! Get down on your knees! I'll cut you down! What are you doing, Shinpachi-kun?! I just became a popular actor! Don't give me that.
I was wondering why you guys were so serious Why are you playing the Game of Life in this place?! What are you talking about, Shinpachi? The Game of Life is an essential part of celebrating birthdays.
Normally, everybody immediately engages in the unhealthy habit of playing video games, but during a birthday party, the mother making the food is keeping a sharp watch.
So everybody gives up on video games and pretends to be good children by playing board games like Life.
So they can eat good food! This is the principle of the birthday party.
I don't give a damn about the worthless birthday knowledge you've assembled! Shinpachi-kun, the food isn't the issue.
If you offend the mother, there's a possibility that she won't buy Kyubei-kun a Nintendo game afterwards.
And our dreams of gathering at Kyubei-kun's place after school to play RBI Baseball will be shattered.
[Note: Popular baseball game from the 80s.
.]
I don't remember having that dream, ever! And what's with your obsession with playing Nintendo?! You've gone way back to being little kids! The mom isn't even here! [Note: Because Kyubei's mom is dead.
.]
And the sharp eyes staring at us belong to all the celebrities, not the mom! This isn't like the birthday parties we held as children! Get a clue! Ew, what is that? Are they acquaintances of Kyubei-dono? No way Shunnosuke Oguri is staring right at us! He's not even trying to hide it! We're here as Kyubei-san's friends! If we do anything weird, it'll shame Kyubei-san! You don't need to worry.
Through the years, we've been to many birthday parties and eaten lots of food.
You could call us birthday party professionals Birthday Fighters.
[Note: Caption on the top looks like Saint Seiya: Knights of the Zodiac title logo.
.]
You only go for the free food! Birthday Fighters don't do anything to make the birthday boy or girl look bad.
Even if it's someone weak, who usually gets bullied at school, you make them look good in front of their mother.
This is an absolute rule.
By doing that, you earn the reputation of a person who makes birthday parties more fun.
That leads to invitations to more birthday parties.
So you must not mouth off to the mother.
Even if you enter the house and find that it smells like a restroom, you must never mention that fact.
Because it'll affect their trust in you.
You won't have to worry if you leave it to us.
Relax.
Students from other schools have also been invited this time.
Pattern B-2.
Compute their data, stat.
Roger.
You're all idiots! Your presence here is making Kyubei-san look bad! You're the ones who smell like restrooms! You don't have to do anything.
There will still be plenty to eat.
This party is a buffet.
Once the party's started, you can eat all the food you want.
So behave Hey, what's with that tent? Why is there a tent in that place? That'll prevent us from getting food.
What is that? Is there a mountain climber among the guests? The party hasn't started yet? Why are you acting like someone lined up for an overnight release?! Why are you putting your body on the line for a buffet?! I put a tent up to mark my place in line, not my body.
Stop trying to be funny! That pisses me off! Just go back to your seat! This is embarrassing! You don't have to try so hard.
There will still be plenty to eat.
The people here aren't that greedy.
No way! Look at all the people here! My spring rolls will be all gone! All gone! I'm staying here forever! I'll stay all spring if that's what it takes to eat all the spring rolls I want! I'll give you all the spring rolls or fall rolls you want! Please go back to your seat! If you keep this up, they'll chase us out! Come on! Everybody's laughing at us! See? Look.
Even Oguri-kun is looking Oguri-kun was getting in line! He was definitely lined up like he thought it was okay to start eating! Tsk.
This is bad.
Not only Kyubei-san, but now we've made Oguri-kun look bad, too! Hello, birthday guests.
Sorry for the long wait.
The birthday girl has finally arrived.
What is it, Tojo? What's going on? Just go in already, young master.
Don't push me, fool.
What's going on? What's going on? Kyubei-san, happy birthday! Th This is Kyu-chan's all surprised.
Gin-san, we're supposed to sing together now.
Sing? Here, here.
This is it.
We can't stand out any further.
Let's try our best to sing along.
Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Kyubei! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! What was that? That was wretched.
Honestly, what is he thinking? Huh? Why? Why am I standing out? I tried my best to sing along.
Go watch episode 17.
Go watch episode 17 again.
This is bad.
Tojo-san's slit eyes are wide open! Staring over here without even blinking! Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Th-Thank you.
Thank you.
Gin-san.
We're supposed to take a bouquet over to her now.
It says that there's a bouquet under each table, so a representative from each table is supposed to take it to Kyubei-san.
A representative I suppose I have no choice.
I'll have to go.
For I am the only person here qualified to be the leader.
Hold it right there.
You always call me the leader.
The leader of the leader is the real leader.
Wait.
Calm down, you two.
This isn't the time to be fighting amongst ourselves.
As the elder, I should No, I said I'm going.
No, I am! Calm down, you two! Everything will be settled if I go! I can! I am! I will! Ky-Kyu-chan, happy birthday.
Here.
Th-Thanks Ew, what's with that? Some type of harassment? Honestly, what is wrong with that group? What did they come here for? Gin-san! This is bad! Tojo-san's eyes are going to shoot beams! Very bad! This will be very bad if we don't get our act together! Um, I'm very surprised about all these people showing up so suddenly.
I'm very grateful that everyone came here for me.
Okay.
Then we'll do presents before we start eating.
Everyone with a present for the young master move forward.
Yes, yes! Yes! Sis! This is our chance to redeem ourselves! Let's take that cake to her! As a present! But they're all giving her incredible presents Well, this is a key to our company's car.
We would love the young master to use it I'm kind of embarrassed to take such a small cake up there.
What are you talking about? You had this cake made for Kyubei-san, right? I'm sure she'll love it.
That's right.
Presents aren't about price.
They're about feelings.
[Japanica Notebook.]
[Note: From Japonica Notebook, popular notebook among kids.
Costs approximately 100 yen ($1 USD).
.]
Where are the feelings in your present? Somewhere around the 32nd page.
How would I know that?! Come on.
Let's go, Sis.
It's bound to be better than this guy's present.
That was close, moron! Poor people shouldn't be wandering around in a place where they don't belong! Heh, serves you right.
Damn eyesore.
Hold on.
You bumped into her on purpose.
Apologize.
Apologize to Sis! What's that, little brat? Stop it, Shin-chan.
What? It's them again? What is it this time? A fight? They're such a nuisance.
Get lost! You don't belong here! This isn't a place for freaks like you! Yeah! Get lost! Get lost, poor people! Cut it out already! There you have it.
It appears that you're the ones at fault, not me.
I won't leave! I won't leave until you apologize! Shinpachi.
I must ask that you leave.
I, Ayumu Tojo, one of the four heavenly kings of Yagyu, will not permit any further behavior that would besmirch the young master's honor.
That's right! Poor people should get lost! Got it? Make yourself scarce already! I was talking to the people insulting the young master's friends.
Tojo-san You bastard! How can you say that to the guests you invited to a birthday celebration?! Those words will lead to the fall of the Yagyu clan! Guests? I don't recall inviting you.
The only people I've invited to this celebration are the young master's friends.
The other people merely take the effort to show up every year.
Enticed by the sweet smell, I suppose.
Unfortunately, the young master, unlike her father, places friendship before money.
You won't be able to build your superficial relationships with the young master.
Bah! You've lost my interest! Remember this well.
You won't get off lightly for embarrassing us like this.
This is the last time the renowned Yagyu clan will be getting on its high horse.
It'll fall into ruin without our backing.
Tojo-san.
I'm very sorry! Everything's been ruined because you were defending us Not at all I wasn't defending you.
The renowned Yagyu clan has many connections.
There was a reason for mowing the lawn here.
It just so happened that some bugs happened to conveniently pop out as well.
You mean Indeed, I knew that you people would snap back without thinking.
You made the task so much simpler.
Now our lawn is all neat and tidy.
Tojo-san Were you using us? Using us to instigate those people! Who knows? Hey! Hold it right there! Damn slit eyes! Tojo, I don't mind you putting on airs, but don't come crying when Father yells at you.
Nevertheless, you have my gratitude.
Thank you for such a wonderful birthday.
[Preview.]
Gin-san It's been a long time It's been three years of my life falling apart since this anime began But next week The next episode "The Other Side of the Other Side of the Other Side would be the Other Side.
" I'll finally graduate from being a DORK.
[An all-out battle to finally end the downward spiral of DORKness!!.]
[Taizo Hasegawa (38 years old), with the love for his wife clutched in his bosom, refuses to lose this time around!.]
[See you next time.
.]

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