Gintama (2005) s04e11 Episode Script

Laputa's Still Good After Seeing It So Many Times

The first match of this three-match contest, the quiz showdown, goes to the Tsusengumi! Mr.
Kondo, of the Tsusengumi, in realizing that Otsu-chan physically can't stand him has successfully propelled his losing team to a win! You did it, Chief.
Did what? You've taken all the glory.
Good effort.
Huh? What glory? On the flip side, the Fan Club was on the verge of victory before it slipped through their fingers! Hey, freak! Why do you think I bought that expensive French bread to hire you, damn it?! It doesn't matter how well you did if we didn't win.
You can't sell a crappy song that's never hit number one in this country.
They're fighting amongst each other! The members who didn't do a thing are blaming Mr.
Taka-tin! Yet he looks so calm.
I don't really get it, but we somehow made it through the first match.
We just have to keep this up and take the second match.
Then victory will be ours.
Damn it We could have won if I had been up there We definitely won't lose the next one.
We can't let it end like this! ["Laputa's Still Good After Seeing It So Many Times".]
Now we'll move on to the next showdown! The second match in this three-match contest! A charisma showdown! [Match 2 - Charisma Showdown.]
After testing your stamina and wits, we will now test your charisma! Both teams will now take turns hitting on Otsu-chan! The team who manages to successfully woo Otsu-chan and take her to someplace with nice and quiet accommodations will win! What are you implying by "nice and quiet accommodations"?! [Note: Metaphor for a love hotel - a type of short-stay hotel operated primarily for the purpose of allowing couples privacy for having sex.
.]
What the hell?! How can you do this to an idol?! Please calm down, everybody! This will merely be a simulation.
Nobody will actually be taking her anywhere.
Everything that's about to happen will be purely a simulation! Come up with your own setting, lines, and a whole package that will really touch Otsu-chan.
And hit on Otsu-chan in this improvised virtual space! You could say that this is an acting contest! One person will be assigned to putting on the moves, while two others assist.
The last person will narrate the entire scene! You'll be given three minutes to prepare! Three minutes? That's it? This contest also tests your ability to ad lib! Or else, we won't be able to see your true charm! The winner of the last match, the Tsusengumi, will go first! To be fair, the latter team, the Fan Club, won't be allowed to confer after the clock starts.
Just decide on a basic setting and flow.
Then start brainstorming! Hey, what do we do, Toshi? I'm guessing that you're the one hitting on her.
Wait, why me? As the most popular man in the Shinsengumi, you should be well-versed in the female heart.
I'm not, man.
Give me a break.
It'd be embarrassing to hit on a girl in front of all these people.
Just go with Yamazaki or something.
How am I supposed to hit on a girl with this hair? [Fist of the North Star is a famous manga and anime series.
.]
I can't play anything beyond a side role in Fist of the North Star.
Besides, we came here for your sake.
You need to do this yourself.
I don't want to embarrass myself so I'll just narrate behind the scenes.
Hey, wait! Why are you deciding this on your own? I'll just make something up so play along, everybody.
Okay! H-H-Hey, wait! Time's up! That's all! Hey! I said to wait up! For real! Let the Tsusengumi's romantic play begin! [The scene you are about to watch is just a simulation.
.]
The setting is a bar on the top floor of a fancy hotel with a wonderful night view.
As women cheerfully pour drinks for the rich patrons, a man is bitterly drinking his liquor alone again tonight.
A bar, huh Not bad for Sogo I guess I have no choice.
Well, it'll probably work out somehow.
This was the man's special seat on Friday nights.
He would always arrive with no purpose and sit drinking until the place closed.
As he did the Friday before, and the Friday before that, and the Friday before that, and the Friday before that.
Hey, isn't your narration a little long? But the Friday before that was a little different.
Because they were playing Laputa on Friday Roadshow.
[Note: Reference to Laputa: Castle in the Sky.
Friday Roadshow is a movie program on Nippon TV.
.]
Who cares about that? Just move on already.
He set up his TiVo before heading to the bar, but then he remembered the hard drive was already full, so he returned to clear up some space, and accidentally deleted Terminator 3 which he hadn't watched yet.
Once Laputa came up on the screen, Forget that already! Nobody cares about the details! Just move on already! the man became all excited as though summer vacation had just begun.
Hey! I told you to drop the Laputa already! Where are you going with this?! He's already seen it many times, but he always felt sad as he watched Laputa rise in the ending.
As he did the time before Move on already! And the time before that And I'm more of a Porco Rosso fan! [Note: Porco Rosso is a Hayao Miyazaki film about a cursed Italian World War I fighter ace who is transformed into a pig.
.]
In fact, the man went to this bar in a towering hotel because he had a faint hope that he might be able to see Laputa from here.
That was the reason?! Shouldn't there be some kind of a better reason? But he still couldn't see Laputa tonight The man had a bitter look on his face.
That's way too bitter! What kind of character am I?! Forget it.
Stop digging into my character.
Just bring out Otsu.
Hey, big guy.
You're alone again tonight? Honestly There's something wrong with all the women in this world who ignore such a lady-killer.
He was the only person Laputa ever opened up to, the master.
Why is Laputa my nickname? A cheerful man who didn't discriminate against a soul.
By the way, his favorite movie was Totoro.
[Note: Reference to: My Neighbor Totoro, another Miyazaki film.
.]
Cut it out already! Do you have to use Ghibli films to exemplify everybody's character?! He wasn't a pedo, [Note: Satsuki and Mei are the two young girl main characters from My Neighbor Totoro.
.]
but if he had to choose between Satsuki and Mei, he'd go with Satsuki.
Who cares about the master?! And why does he look so smug?! But few people knew that he'd been turned off by how realistic the crying was in the scene where Satsuki learns that her mother won't be released from the hospital.
How would anybody know about something so meaningless?! However, few people knew that he wasn't actually the master, but merely a part-timer who was nicknamed, "the master".
Nobody wants to know that useless information! That's enough narrating already! Long ago, after watching him using the shaker, the other employees had an argument about whether to call him "the master" or "bation".
You meant that master?! What kind of nickname is that?! He's just being bullied! It's hopeless.
This won't go anywhere if I leave it to them.
I have to do something Master, I've grown tired of drinking by myself.
Could you introduce me to a nice lady? Surely, you jest.
If such a nice lady were around, I'd have taken her already.
Sorry about that.
You're in the same bind.
If only a cute girl would fall out of the sky.
Now that I've said that, they'll have to bring her out Such a funny man Are you Ghibler? [Note: A term for Studio Ghibli fan.]
Here she is.
Is the cute girl falling out of the sky Sheeta from Laputa? Or Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service? Or the whore who's fallen out of grace, moi? I didn't mean you! May I join you? Hell no! Who are you supposed to be?! Can't you bring out Otsu already?! Why bring out the stupid mohawk now?! Get a clue! And there aren't any women with hair like this! He's making a huge impression! Sorry to keep you waiting.
My work kept me late.
Ah, over here.
Sh-She's here! I see.
The strategy is for him to play Otsu's friend and introduce the two of us, so he can provide assistance for a smooth attack.
Nice thinking.
So he wasn't just playing a female for no reason at all.
Why are you in the middle?! Um, is that man a friend of yours, Mohi-chan? [Note: Short for "mohawk" which is pronounced "Mohikan" in Japanese.
.]
Ah, yes.
He just hit on me, so I was going to have a little fun with him.
Do you want me to kill you, stupid mohawk?! I don't have time to mess with you! Why is a sideshow taking the best position! That's where I'm supposed to be sitting! Uh, would you like- A drink? Get a clue! Move out of the way, mohawk! I can't get in a word edgewise! Excuse me.
Could I get oolong tea? This man and I were just having a heated discussion about which Ghibli heroine was the best.
We weren't.
You're still going on about Ghibli?! Who's your favorite, Otsu? Who cares about that subject?! You could at least ask what her type is! I'd have to go with Satsuki.
Nobody was talking to you! The way she looks after her little sister reminds me of Otae-san.
She'll definitely make a wonderful mother! Don't mention Otae-san.
You're not even acting anymore.
I don't have a particular favorite, but if I had to choose, I'd go with Kiki.
Why is the narrator participating in the conversation?! It's actually easier to break in girls who have a lot of pride.
Once you've broken their self-respect, they're weaker than most people on the inside.
What the hell are you saying?! The ones with a hard shell fall even harder.
Don't defile Ghibli! It's true that Satsuki would make a great mom, but she's not much of a woman.
She doesn't even try to be fashion-conscious.
A person with a mohawk shouldn't be talking.
She's the type with natural beauty who forgets about dressing herself up.
Or if she were to try, she'd find that there wasn't anything to fix, so she'd try for a different angle and go overboard like Kaela.
[Note: Reference to Japanese model, pop singer "Kaela Kimura".
.]
How far are you reading into this?! You people are creeping me out! I'd say that Mei-chan would be the type to be completely different at a reunion.
She's got a complex about her sister and she's the kind who grows with effort.
But she can only grow so much! Since, she takes after her father! That'll be her peak, so she can't beat her older sister! Yeah, but girls who are cute when they're little are already at their peak, so they can only deteriorate.
Talk about this back at headquarters! You're the only ones getting into this conversation! Do you people really love Ghibli that much?! You have no intention of supporting me.
Otsu is being left in the dust.
Th-This is An odd sense of solidarity.
Both feeling lonely, like the outsiders of a group Are we starting to feel like kindred spirits? Like two people who've come to the city from the country and feel left out at a party.
Everybody's so excited.
Aren't you going to go party with everyone else? I'm not very good with these situations.
Ah, I'm actually the same way.
This is how they usually hit it off! Could it be that you guys Now! Now is your chance, Vice-Chief! Go, Toshi! Isn't she a nice girl? Invite her along.
[Note: The image is similar to the character Dola from Laputa: Castle In the Sky.
.]
The storm ceases and the clouds part.
[Hotel in the Sky.]
Laputa really existed! The End! The Tsusengumi managed to check in! They've easily landed Otsu-chan without using romantic words or presents! A clever psychological plan which displayed amazing teamwork! I must say I am impressed! Th-That's impossible! How do you feel right now, Otsu-chan? I'm sorry.
I was just going with the flow and ended up tagging along.
So you're the type of girl who'll end up in a place like that by going with the flow, slut.
MC, shut the fuck up! Otsu-chan's no slut! She's just a ditz! Say it again and I'll murder you! The Tsu Terakado Fan Club is up next and is now in a difficult position! Even if they manage to land Otsu-chan, the match will be up to the judges! They have no chance of victory if they don't use a brilliant method! Don't worry, Shinpachi.
Couples that are formed through collusion don't last long.
But Gin-san, we were busy trying to translate for Taka-tin during preparation and barely decided on anything.
What do we do? This match rides on the narration, which determines the whole situation.
Well, you can't go wrong by leaving it to me.
We can really trust you, right? Please give us a really romantic one.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll give you some romantic-shmantic stuff.
So the Tsu Terakado Fan Club's romantic play begins now! [The scene you are about to watch is just a simulation.
.]
Once upon a time, a long time ago, when demons and gods still existed Huh? The battle between gods and demons brought ruin to the earth, leading to a dark age where humans lived underground in fear.
Wait Gin-san? However, in this barren land where malevolent gods and sinister demons ran rampant, Uh, what is this? a solitary shadow moved towards the west.
Gin-san, you know what the goal is right? A romantic situation where you can hit on a girl.
They headed to a destination far to the west, bearing the hopes of humanity.
To the kingdom of gods said to grant any wish [Gandara Vehotel.]
[Note: Music is from the TV Show "Journey to the West" Also known as "Monkey.
".]
It's turned into a totally different show! [Original story by Gintoki Sakata.]
[Project Planning by Gintoki Sakata.]
[Son Goku - Shinpachi Shimura.]
[Sanzo Hoshi - Otsu.]
[Sagojo - Taka-tin.]
[Cho Hakkai - Kagura.]
[Narrated by Gintoki Sakata.]
[Directed by Gintoki Sakata.]
This is the story of the monk Tsukai and his company, on their stormy journey to restore peace to Earth, by visiting the kingdom of gods, Gandara Vehotel.
[Note: The title sounds like "Grand Love Hotel.
".]
No, what the hell is Gandara Vehotel?! You're just trying to trick her into the place! You're just trying to pull a fast one on her! And this is no longer a charisma showdown.
This is a completely different contest.
Um, excuse me.
Please stop.
Please stop the horse.
That's enough.
No, wait! Hold on! I'll be going home now.
No, uh We just started! Wait a little, uh Was there something you didn't like? Did we make some kind of mistake? What's with the Gandara Vehotel?! You're obviously thinking about something dirty! You're not even trying to hide it! I-I'm not! I'm not thinking about anything along those lines! It's Gandara Vehotel! Vehotel! No, adding a pause doesn't change anything.
I don't like people who think about that stuff right off the bat.
Wait! Wait! It's wrong! I got the title wrong! Here we go.
[Gandara * Vehotel.]
Nothing changed! You just made it all Hiro Tsunoda-like! [Gandara * Vehotel.]
[Note: Reference to Japanese musician, Hiro Tsunoda.
His name includes a star between "Hiro" and "Tsunoda".
.]
No, really.
We won't do anything dirty! We absolutely won't! We'll just be resting a bit.
Just going off to save the world! So let's make a little stop and take a little break.
Hey, narrator.
You're starting to sound like a pathetic guy who's begging a girl who changed her mind at the entrance.
Just need to go in a little! Just a little bit! Don't make it worse! Fine, fine.
If you're going to be that way, forget it.
I just wanted to save the world.
You're just making me feel bad.
You're talking too much for a narrator.
Forget it! Do whatever you want! I didn't think you were so selfish! You should apologize, chief priest.
It can get scary if the Narry gets mad.
Who the hell is Narry?! Don't make it sound like Daddy! Just apologize.
I'll apologize with you.
Let's tell Narry we're sorry.
Why do you sound like the mother?! Forget it.
Just leave her alone, guys.
Well, the sun's set already, so we'll just stay at the Gandara Vehotel in Gotanda.
[Note: Gotanda is a neighborhood in Shinagawa, Tokyo which is famous for having a high concentration of love hotels.
.]
It's a chain?! And we're in Gotanda?! Yay! We can finally rest! So? What are you going to do? Camp outside.
Do whatever you want.
Don't come crying if you're eaten by a demon.
Let's go, Patsuan.
Why are you walking around?! Isn't he just an old man?! Isn't he the demon?! This is delicious! I haven't had anything to eat in forever! Oh, shit! It's my bread! You're all so greedy! I'm not feeling lonely at all I'm fine being alone.
Afterwards, we continued on our journey to save the world, but I refused to stay in any Gandara Vehotel.
I grew accustomed to camping outside.
It was scary in the beginning, but I must have been lucky as I was never attacked by demons in my sleep.
But, whenever I woke up, I would see demon footprints in the sand around me.
Were they afraid of me? Or were they after me? I wasn't entirely sure, but oddly enough, I wasn't scared of the footprints.
I was more focused on how envious I was of the merry sounds coming from the Vehotel.
How could they leave me alone to have so much fun? Why won't anyone come invite me? Although I was the one who turned them down, I continued to think such selfish thoughts as I camped outside.
And then one night, I was woken up by a strange sensation.
I had been surrounded by demons.
Yes I finally saw the demons the footprints belonged to The demons weren't afraid of me or after me They were protecting me I told them to leave you alone, but they wouldn't listen.
They're fools.
Do you think people who do this would be capable of dirty acts? Why would those who protect your sleeping face want to defile it? If you still feel that way, keep on camping outside.
Thanks to you, I get to enjoy the Vehotel all by myself.
That was when I saw There was sand on Narry's butt.
The next day, a new voice could be heard among the merry voices in the Gandara Vehotel.
That laughing voice was higher than the others and echoed through the desert.
The end! The Tsu Terakado Fan Club managed to check in! Why do I feel so refreshed after they succeeded in checking in? Refreshed?! Wasn't there something obviously wrong?! Otsu-chan became the narrator halfway through! There's clear evidence that Otsu-chan was in on the planning! Otsu-chan! Between the Tsusengumi and the Fan Club, who wins?! Why am I being ignored?! Let's see Both sides performed wonderfully.
The characters stood out and the setting was fleshed out.
The Tsu Terakado Fan Club wins! Now both teams are at one win and one loss! Hey! That was like judging a manga! What about the charisma?! Wasn't this a charisma showdown?! The contest will be decided with the third and final match! Why am I being ignored?! [To Be Continued.]
The next episode "Love Asks for Nothing in Return.
" [We finally reach the conclusive final battle in the fight to become Tsu Terakado's official fan club.
.]
[Shinpachi faces up against Hijikata.
The rules of the battle are what?!.]
[See you next time.
.]

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