Gossip Girl s03e22 Episode Script

Last Tango, Then Paris

Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite.
- What's so important, Jenny? - Holland's about to tell them the truth about you working together to split up my dad and Lily.
Call the police.
If we wait, he'll be gone for good.
I got to my dad before the cops did.
So now you know why I don't talk to you about things.
- Thanks for coming with me.
- Wanna talk about it? I don't see what's wrong about wanting my life to go back to normal.
- What needs to get back to normal is you.
- I'll be waiting at the Empire State Building.
At 7:01, I'm closing my heart to you forever.
Well, I won't be there.
Where has she been? And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me.
XOXO Gossip Girl.
You reap what you sow.
What goes around comes around.
No matter how far you run, you can never truly escape.
Everything catches up to you in the end.
And when it does, it usually kicks your ass.
Jenny? Rufus, teenage girls are a nightmare.
As soon as they realize you'll love them no matter what they do you lose all of your power.
You just have to wait till they finish college.
Or, in the case of Serena, rebel and not go.
Just talk to her.
Is she in her room? No.
I sent her to the loft to stay with Dan so I could consider the best course of action.
Well, grounding her again probably won't work.
Short of sending her away, I don't know anything that will.
I think that would be a mistake.
And I would hate to separate her and Eric.
They need each other.
Don't worry about me.
After what I witnessed, do what you want with Jenny.
- What? She's your sister.
- No, not by choice.
She said so herself.
So go ahead and send her crazy ass away.
If I were you, I'd do it sooner rather than later.
Before she hurts anybody else.
- Oh.
Finally.
- Jenny, hey.
You're still here.
Gee, thanks.
As if it wasn't humiliating enough when you fell asleep in the middle of my sentence.
What, you mean monologue? Seriously, though, thanks.
Thanks for listening to me last night.
Yeah, no problem.
You know I'm here for you, whatever you need.
- But? - I just I don't want you to get the wrong impression.
Don't worry, I get it.
You and I are friends.
You love Serena.
Although it looks like love's a bit of a one-way street right now.
Did she call? She's mad, but she'll cool off.
- Morning, Sunshines.
- Hey.
Jenny's on her way out, actually.
She just crashed for the night.
Ahem.
Aw, save it.
I know nothing untoward happened.
That was clear by the sound of you snoring at 2 a.
m.
And New Moon on the pay-per-view bill.
Although I was hoping to catch you two in the midst of something more than a heart-to-heart.
Okay, I'm gonna go get dressed.
Be careful, Nathaniel.
You and Serena are on thin ice.
All it takes is someone to tap their foot, and that cracks.
- What do you know about relationships? - A lot.
In fact, I'm about to save mine.
I suggest you do the same if you can.
I'm sorry.
I cannot reach table.
Just this once, Dorota.
But if that baby does not arrive soon l'm gonna have to look into getting you help.
Believe me, I want this baby to come out as much as you do.
As soon as that moment comes your mother and I are heading back to Paris.
So are you coming with us? What are your plans? Nothing, beyond having a date with Cameron this afternoon.
And staying far away from the Empire State Building.
What does the Empire State Building have to do with anything? An Affair to Remember was on TCM.
It gave me nightmares.
Blair loves the Empire State Building, even though she doesn't want to and she should admit it and make all our life easier.
Miss Blair loves nothing.
Except for shoes, clothes and anything Harry Winston.
Dorota, would you please get me some steamed milk? This is ice cold.
Actually, no, I will help you.
Since it appears you've taken an interest in the deadline a certain Bass-hat set for me l'm calling you into service.
- I ironed your sheets and alphabetized shoes by designer like you ask.
What more is there to do? I'm ordering you to chaperon my date with Cameron.
Make sure that, no matter what happens I don't go anywhere near that stupid Art Deco landmark.
Miss Blair, I defriend Mr.
Chuck in Facebook and in life but this is pretty romantic thing he is doing.
If not going means never having Chuck in your life again are you prepared to live like that? Yes.
But even if I'm not, if you let me go anywhere near 34th Street there won't be a miracle but a massacre.
Now, put on your walking shoes.
We're going on a date.
Georgina Sparks? Is that you? - Da.
Nice hotel.
For the Upper West Side.
- I hope you're not here to hurt me.
Operation Ditch the Bitch in Belarus was Blair's idea.
I don't want revenge.
I need help.
I'm scared.
Even if I believed you, I wouldn't care.
This isn't like the other times, Chuck.
The Russians don't mess around.
It's really cold there, and there's, like, barely any designer jeans.
The average citizen drinks Unless a one-way ticket on the Siberian Express is what you're looking for, I'm out.
If you wouldn't mind, I have business to attend to.
Maybe I could wait here until you get back? Or I could see you out now.
It's either me or Security.
What time is it? Uh, it's later than either of us wants it to be.
By that I mean morning.
Oh, my God.
That's not usually the reaction I hope for when waking up next to a woman.
It's not that, and you know it.
- Ohh.
Last night - Don't finish those words.
Unless they end with "was a mistake.
" - I mean, right? - Right.
Right.
My thoughts exactly.
I mean, we're both in relationships.
Yeah.
It was totally meaningless.
I mean, we just fell asleep.
Yeah, after an entire bottle of wine and a whole lot of talking.
And one kiss.
Did that even happen? I'm not sure that happened.
You know, all I remember is you falling asleep on my arm and my not being able to move it.
I don't know if I still can.
I was just upset, and you were there for me.
It was just a couple of old friends falling into a comfortable pattern for a minute.
Or 10.
And I love Nate.
I love Vanessa.
- Wait, do we have to tell anyone? - Not on your life.
No.
There's no reason to explode our whole world just for some meaningless kiss between old friends.
Whatever this was, it's just between us, so - It's not like we can't keep that safe.
- Yeah.
Call me if you need anything.
- Okay.
All right.
- Bye.
That was a mistake.
It was random.
It was gravity.
- Okay.
Bye.
- You were going for the hug.
I went for the: Spotted: A family reunion only Faulkner would approve of.
I used to think that S and Lonely Boy were the most boring couple on the Upper East Side.
But what makes them actually great together is when they're supposed to be with other people.
Seventy-sixth and 5th, please.
Actually, make that the Empire Hotel, and quick.
Good luck talking your way out of this one, S.
I hope you're on your way to see Nate.
- You saw the blast? - Yes.
Although I'm inclined to say Gossip Girl doesn't know what she's talking about since she posted some blurry photo of a mail-order bride and said it was Georgina, that really did look like you and Humphrey.
Isn't that a little '08 like maxi dresses and Miley Cyrus? - Blair We all try on old clothes from time to time.
We may be surprised they still fit, but that doesn't mean we should wear them again.
Nothing happened.
And as for the photo it was obviously the work of Jenny Humphrey.
I knew she hated me, but apparently she hates Dan too? I wish she'd hole up in Brooklyn and leave the rest of us alone.
Brooklyn? Is that where she is right now? I guess so.
I gotta call Dan and make sure he knows what's going on.
Bye.
We have to get off this island.
Cameron, would you mind if we made a little detour? How little? - Hey.
- So now that our morning seems to have made it all over Manhattan - Yeah, I saw that.
- I just wanna make sure we're still on the same page.
I don't wanna jeopardize my friendship with Nate or my relationship with Vanessa as much as you don't wanna jeopardize your relationship with Nate or your friendship with Vanessa.
Are you friends? Friendly enough to not want her to get upset over a kiss.
It was meaningless, right? Dan, is that you? You know, I gotta go.
Good luck.
Was that my Lincoln Hawk T-shirt Serena was wearing? You saw Gossip Girl? - I just glanced over Eric's shoulder.
- Have you seen Jenny? I need to talk to her about why she took that picture.
- I thought she was with you.
- No.
She wasn't there when I woke up.
She wasn't there when I went to sleep which wasn't until 4.
I wish I didn't have to say this but she's out of control.
Yesterday it was your marriage.
Today it's Nate and Serena, Vanessa and me.
She's gotta be stopped.
We should wait for her at the loft.
She's bound to show up there sooner than here.
- Hey.
Have you seen Nate? - I have no idea where he is.
Although I have a good idea where you've been.
- Chuck - Look, before you go and use whatever line you've prepared, think hard.
Nate knows who he loves and what he wants.
So unless you can say the same look him in the eye and tell him that, or stop playing games.
Courage, ma soeur.
Please.
Hey.
Hi.
I mean, I wish I could say I was happy to see you.
Nothing happened with Dan.
We just fell asleep talking.
- Oh, really? - You and I both screwed up.
I only turned to Dan because I was mad at you for calling the cops on my father.
What your dad did was really wrong, Serena.
That was not for you to decide.
Nate, I love you.
I just want to make things work again.
Nothing happened? Nothing happened.
I just wanna go back to being us.
I know that it'll be hard, but I do wanna try.
Blair.
What are you doing here? Someone has to give you the smackdown you so richly deserve.
That it's me who gets to do it is just the cherry on top.
Bring it on.
I knew when I sent the blast there'd be fallout.
When are you gonna get it? For three years you tried to worm your way into our world.
But you will never be a part of it, no matter what you do.
This isn't copycat dressing at Constance or dumping dairy on your best friend to prove a point.
Nate and Serena, that's mythic.
You don't mess with that and survive.
You're hurting people I love.
You're hurting people you love.
- I wasn't trying to.
L - Nate loves Serena.
Dan loves Vanessa, God knows why.
And Chuck loves me.
But you, Jenny? No one loves you.
Except your daddy.
And after what you pulled yesterday, who knows if that's even true anymore? Well, I guess you'll find out now.
- That's so beautiful.
I can't believe it.
- Everything okay? - The miracle of life growing inside of you.
- I'm in luck.
- Two smackdowns.
- What the hell are you doing? - Don't screw up Nate and Serena.
- Nothing happened.
So said Serena.
But I'm thinking she left something out.
All right.
Blair.
Say life is giving you signs.
You ignore them because you're afraid of the thing they're signaling you to do.
But then you think, "What if these signs are here for a reason and ignoring them makes me a coward?" Signs are for the religious and the lower class.
I don't believe in them, and neither should you.
Damn you, Chuck Bass.
Damn you to hell.
Why? When did we start talking about Chuck Bass? Spotted atop the Empire State Building, that is: A boy billionaire, flowers in hand.
Oh, Chuck.
If you could only see to Brooklyn you might turn that frown upside down.
Okay, Dorota.
We got a deadline to make.
- My water break.
- Oh, my God.
- Holy Okay, all right.
Slowly.
- Come on, this way.
A little faster.
Then again, maybe you should guard your heart.
Lenox Hill Hospital, right now.
Dorota's water might not be the only thing breaking tonight.
I spoke to your mother this morning, and we decided that you should spend the summer in Hudson and finish high school there next year.
- What? - I thought you'd be happy.
It's a fresh start.
Somewhere without mean girls and drug-dealing boyfriends and Gossip Girl.
Dad this city's all I have.
- Lf I leave, I have nothing.
- I'm sorry.
It's the way it's gonna be.
It's done.
Dorota.
Dorota, did I miss it? Of course not.
You have at your service one of the best Lamaze coaches in the world.
I've been present at the labor of many of my clients.
One didn't even know she was pregnant.
- Hello, dear.
- Hi.
You must go now, Miss Blair.
If you don't arrive before 7, he will be gone forever.
- I can't leave you.
- I have plenty help.
Please, you have my blessing.
We both get what we want now.
Go.
Okay.
I'll be back.
- Where's she going? - What's that about? - Hey.
Nate said - I can't talk.
I hope I'm not too late.
- Hey.
- Hey.
I've been feeling guilty all day.
Yeah, I know.
I got your text.
Um I'm not sure now is the right time to tell Nate.
There are babies being born.
Water is breaking.
- I don't know what we'd say.
- You don't have to say anything.
I think I already know.
Blair, stop.
Georgina? What are you doing here? I followed your mom and Cyrus from your apartment.
I need to talk to you.
I'm in trouble.
Big trouble.
And while it warms my heart hearing that, I'm late.
Goodbye, Georgina.
May God save your soul.
Again.
A kiss is not nothing.
People don't just kiss because they're upset.
People kiss because they have feelings for each other.
- So do you? - Nate, that's ridiculous.
- I'm with you and he's with Vanessa.
- Oh, yeah, what about Vanessa? I seriously doubt she's reading Gossip Girl in Haiti.
But in case she is, maybe you should give her a call and bring her up to speed.
- Don't threaten him.
- I can stand up for myself.
- Really? You're being awfully quiet.
That's because he knows I'm right.
It's time.
The baby is coming.
Come on, Dorota.
Push! Not enough.
Not enough! - It's a girl! - She's beautiful.
Hi.
I'm meeting a young man here.
Probably in a bowtie, possibly carrying peonies.
Nate? Chuck, what are you doing? Trying to forget.
Did the most romantic thing I could think of, and it didn't work.
It was never going to.
I'm sorry.
Well, I guess if Nate's not here, I'll go.
Not that I really have anywhere to go.
You can stay here if you want.
It's not like you haven't done it before.
Well, yeah, but that was always with Nate.
Playing video games or watching movies or whatever.
Well, I don't play video games, so if you wanna hang with me, you do what I do.
I'm trying to forget some things too.
Mostly how happy I thought I'd be once I made it in this world.
The world you're looking for only exists from the outside.
The only reason I survive in it is because I always knew it was empty.
Yeah, well, now I know too.
I found out the hard way.
The hard way is the only way.
If you want to leave, now would be the time.
I don't wanna be alone.
Neither do I.
Hey.
Didn't expect to find you here, staring at babies.
Turns out I'm a big fan of babies.
Everything for them is so simple.
They start out with a clean slate.
They have no idea how complicated everything is gonna get.
Yeah.
That baby right there, he's gonna grow up to be smarter than the rest of them which will make him feel like an outsider, give him a bit of a chip on his shoulder.
Oh, really? Well, you see that baby there? She's gonna grow up to have fabulous hair and a great smile.
But her daddy issues are gonna make it real hard for her to trust people.
- You wanna take a walk? - Yeah.
And this baby's gonna do some things to make all the other babies hate her.
Anastasia.
It's a beautiful name.
Can I hold her? I know it's soon, but she's so pink and perfect and Who knew babies could be so astonishing? Miss Eleanor In fact, um Yes, Dorota and I were talking.
Miss Eleanor, Mr.
Cyrus would you be Ana's godparents? Would we? Paris, shmaris.
I am never letting go of this precious creature.
- I feel terrible about Nate.
- Oh, God, I know.
I know.
Which part, exactly? Was it the kissing-me part, or the him-finding-out part? Was it the part where he asked if we had feelings for one another? All of the above.
I need to tell Vanessa.
She's gotta hear this from me.
- You guys really are happy, aren't you? - Yeah, we are, definitely.
But I can't lie.
Knowing someone so well you think it's gonna be easier, but in a lot of ways, it makes it harder.
Maybe ignorance really is bliss.
Is that why it was so easy with us? You mean because we were strangers? Yeah.
Sure.
Everything was a discovery.
This unknown person who can do or think anything.
- Well, that was perfectly timed.
- Very.
It's Vanessa.
Good news is she does not get Gossip Girl blasts in Haiti.
But she does get Nate's texts.
And he sent her that photo.
- How could he do that? - How could he not? Are you okay? You're welcome to stay the night.
You're not kicking me out into the street? Lucky me.
Hey, some people don't get the offer.
Nate? Chuck? Chuck.
Blair.
What are you doing here? - Is there someone in there? - No.
Nobody.
Excuse my confusion.
I didn't expect to see you tonight, or ever again.
You went.
I'm sorry I was so late.
- I waited.
- Dorota went into labor.
She had her baby.
I wasn't going to show up.
I was resolved not to.
Every bone in my body tried to slow me.
Every voice in my head screamed, "Don't.
" - But? - But I didn't listen.
I followed my heart because I love you.
I can't deny that our path has been complicated.
But in the end, love makes everything simple.
Why don't I make you a drink? How about some music? My iPod's in my room.
- We don't need music.
- I want everything to be perfect.
- Jenny.
- Go away.
No.
We may get mad at each other, but if you're hurting, I'm here for you.
You say that now but I'll do something to let you down.
And you'll turn your back like everybody else.
My dad, Dan Nate, Serena, Blair.
Everybody hates me.
- Even Chuck.
- Chuck? What did you do to Chuck? - It was such a mistake.
- Mistake? Chuck? Jenny, why would you do that? I was sad.
He was sad.
I don't know.
It's not the worst thing.
- It's not worse than that time with Damien.
- I didn't do it with Damien.
- What? - I wanted you to think it.
I didn't.
I wanted to wait.
I wanted it to be special.
And - Hey - Don't touch me.
Don't tell anyone.
Nate, we need to talk.
I was just gonna say the same thing.
Excuse me.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Have you seen my dad and Lily? - They're supposed to be here with food.
- I haven't seen them.
- But Jenny's here.
She needs help.
- You're just now realizing this? - Dan.
- Okay.
Why? What happened? You need to ask her.
She's in the chapel.
I guess I thought when my dad came back I would start making different choices and stop making the same mistakes.
Well, at least that's honest.
Yeah, I think I need to be alone for a while.
Whoa.
Wait.
I find it in my heart to forgive you for kissing another guy and you're gonna break up with me? - It's not breaking up.
It's just taking a break.
- It's not you.
- Oh.
"It's not you.
It's me," right? Yes, Serena, it is you.
I think it's great that you want to work on yourself.
But I'm not gonna wait around to see how things go.
So if you're out, you're out.
That's fair.
Nate, I love you.
I really do.
If we're ever gonna have a real chance, this is the only way.
Despite the false start earlier this night is perfect.
There is one thing that would make it even better.
I am so sorry for the pain I've caused you.
And I know I can't take it back, but I wanna try and make it up to you.
Even if it takes me the rest of my life.
- Blair, will you? - Hey.
Humphrey! Have you lost your mind? What the hell are you doing? You tell her.
Tell me what? What's going on? - You didn't.
- Blair.
You did.
You.
Get out of here now.
And not just out of this hospital, but off this island.
Go, and never come back.
Because if you ever set foot in Manhattan again, I will know.
And I will destroy you.
- Blair, I'm sorry.
- You have no reason to be sorry.
This begins and ends with Chuck.
Hey.
Who's hungry? I got enough bagel chips to feed an What did I just walk into? Dad.
- Rufus.
- Come here.
Come here.
Let's go sit.
Are you okay? Let me walk you home.
Blair, I thought you didn't love me anymore.
I didn't care if I lived or died.
Jenny was Don't say her name! Or anything else to me ever again.
This whole night didn't happen.
Now, you're sure you wanna do this? Yeah.
It's my idea this time.
- Dad.
- Come here, kiddo.
No tears.
Don't worry.
I'm done crying.
- I meant me.
- I'm gonna miss you so much.
Yeah.
Your mother's thrilled to have you.
But you can come home anytime.
You are my daughter, Jenny and I love you forever, and always, come whatever.
And I love you too.
There's nothing here for me anymore, though.
- I'm here.
- Eric.
Please don't go.
You may be a total bitch sometimes, but you're still my best friend.
What am I gonna do at school without you? Who's gonna dump yogurt on my head? I'll Skype you every day.
All right, Dan, Jenny.
Humphrey hug.
Eric and Lily, get in here too.
- All right, I gotta go.
- No, no, a little longer.
- I love you.
Bye, guys.
- See you.
I'm actually excited to have an entire summer with nothing to do but figure things out.
First of all, S, you didn't go to school this year.
And you haven't had a real job in months.
Life is kind of like summer for you.
Oh, okay.
Thanks.
Kick a girl when she's down.
- I really am gonna change.
- Why? All the drama, that's who you are.
I'm not gonna stop looking for love just because I've lost it.
Paris.
And why you're coming with me.
Uh, I was gonna do a cleanse and yoga.
And maybe keeping a dream journal.
Haven't you heard of retail therapy? Everyone goes to Paris to write their memoirs.
Not that you'll have the time, what with all the riding around on Vespas in cute outfits.
- We have never been single together.
- Or traveled to a foreign land.
La Premiere on Air France has turndown service and the chef has three Michelin stars.
Come on.
Shopping at Palais Royal? People-watching at Café de Flore? - Lingerie and Pierre Hermé? - Mm-hm.
Ooh! Thank you.
I really think I need this.
Me too.
It's gonna be okay, B.
As long as we have each other, we're both gonna be okay.
- Paris! - Ha-ha-ha! Hey, man.
Thanks for calling.
Um You gonna apologize, or you waiting for me? I don't mind going first.
No, I'll go.
Look, I'm sorry for what happened with Vanessa.
I mean, you fired a shot at me.
I fired a shot at you.
But it was a dick move.
I don't blame you for what happened between me and Serena.
Well, thanks, but I didn't exactly help.
So I'm sorry for that.
As for Vanessa maybe if I told her the truth, that photo wouldn't have hit her so hard.
- That bad, huh? What'd she say? - Nothing.
She's not returning my calls.
But I'm about to write her the world's longest and most plaintive e-mail.
- You trying to get her back? - Trying to explain what happened.
To her and to myself, you know? Let me know if you wanna take a break from soul-searching.
When he took off for Prague, Chuck left me his little black book.
I didn't realize you and Serena were over.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna spend the summer waiting for her to figure things out.
Right, yeah, that makes sense.
I'm gonna pass on the little black book.
But you enjoy yourself, all right, man? Oh, I'm sure gonna try.
- Hey, Dan.
I mean, bonjour.
- No, you mean au revoir.
- Bye, Humphrey.
We're leaving.
- Where are you going? - Paris.
- Paris? Oh, wow.
Um - Well, have fun.
- Thank you.
You called me.
What's up? Oh, yeah.
You know, just calling to talk about things.
But now's not a good time.
Call me when you get back.
- Okay.
I'll miss you.
- I'll miss you too, Humphrey.
- I'll see you in September, okay? - Okay.
Sounds good.
Okay, bye.
No, it doesn't.
Come in.
It's open.
Hi, Dan.
- Georgina.
What are you doing in town? - Looking for you, actually.
I, um I have something of yours.
What? I don't remember giving you anything.
Well, you gave me this.
- What? - Congratulations, Daddy.
He looks just like you.
And all in an instant, everything changes.
We leave the past behind and speed toward the unknown: Our future.
We set out for far-off places and try to find ourselves.
Or try to lose ourselves exploring pleasures closer to home.
The problems start when we refuse to let change happen and cling to old habits.
Dekuji, ladies.
A velvet revolution, indeed.
Hey, gentlemen.
There's no need to get rough, okay? I've got lots of money.
I'm Chuck Bass.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey! Come on.
Come on.
Not that.
Not that.
Just give me the box.
Take me to a bank.
I will give you the money.
Just let me keep the box.
But if we hold on to the past too tight, the future may never come.
Till death do us part.
XOXO, Gossip Girl.

Previous EpisodeNext Episode