Gravity s01e01 Episode Script

Suicide Dummies

I got to go.
I love you, mother.
I'll see you soon.
Oh, have a safe trip.
Veer right.
Okay, bye.
Continue driving 500 feet.
Ew! That's disgusting! Oh, God, I hate it when shit Falls out of the sky on my face! Get it off! Get it off! Oh, honey, no.
I saw it on the news.
Bird feces is actually good for the skin.
It's an antioxidant.
Really? Mm-hmm.
Smooth it in, smooth it in.
Oh, I'm not touching that.
Wuss.
Turn right.
Stop here.
Stop here.
I can feel it working already.
Car! Car! Oh! Sweet lord Jesus! Oh, my God.
Is that a man?! Oh, my God.
Recalculating.
Address unknown.
Relculating.
First bird shit.
Now a car.
No wonder this cruise was so fucking cheap.
I'm going back to my cabin.
Miss? Hello? Miss! Can you suggest a nail color That would look good on me and barky? That's not funny.
My sister's deaf, and I know that's not real signing.
Do you want paper or plastic bags? Plastic.
You want to say hi to daddy? No? You don't want to tell daddy? Yeah, okay.
No, he says he's busy, but we love you.
Mmm.
Mm.
Now I lay me down to sleep And I pray the lord my soul to keep.
If I die before I wake I pray the lord my soul to take.
Lily? Lily, can you hear me? Do you know what you did to yourself? Wake up for me.
Wake up.
You know why you're here? Lily? Do you know what you took? Lily? Paging Dr.
Bender.
Paging Dr.
Bender, please.
Detective Christian Miller.
You can just call me "miller.
" I brought you some things.
There was no one to call.
They pumped your stomach.
I thought you'd want a new outfit.
You should thank your neighbors.
It's lucky they found you when they did.
You want to tell me why you did this to yourself? Who's that? Blue team to I.
C.
U.
, please.
Blue team, I.
C.
U.
Praise Jesus.
Nurse! Doctor! That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard -- Trying to kill yourself to be with your dead wife.
Isn't killing yourself supposed to improve your life, Rather than sending you back in time where it sucked ass? What kind of car were you driving? A Mercedes.
Lease or own? Own.
Me too.
I mean, before the stock market crashed.
Sharing with a little more depth, Brad.
Okay.
Sorry.
I'm sure you already knew this, but, uh, f.
Y.
I.
-- Insurance companies don't pay off for two years On new policies for a suicide, So make sure you wait so your family can get paid Or fake it really well.
That's why my parachute jump was so genius.
Except the f'ing chute opened at the last minute By accident after I rigged it not to.
Unh! Oh, shit! Tips on how suicide can help us Is not exactly what we're trying to do here, Brad.
Shawna, I keep telling you, you don't have to stand.
You look especially handsome today, dogg.
So serious.
Okay.
I think it's sad.
I think it's really, really sad.
Oh, please, model.
It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
It speaks.
Stop looking at me! Lily champagne Meet Robert collingsworth, your new buddy.
You've been out of this circle ever since you got here.
Everyone else has a buddy.
This is yours.
Now, you do this, or you're back in the system.
Priceless.
I know.
Peace.
Okay, hermano.
See you, guys.
Take care.
All right, Brad.
Good night.
Bye, Brad.
Ahh.
I love the smell of fall.
It's so good.
Mmm.
Hey, Robert.
Hey, you want some coffee? Uh, uh, no, thanks.
No? Okay.
Thank you, though.
Good night, man.
You have completely obliterated my anonymity! You just threw your purse at my head? Give it ba! Is this what buddies do, huh? Don't touch my stuff, all right?! They throw things at each other? What the hell is your story? No story.
I'm just a cover.
Oh, are you an artist? No.
I sell makeup at a department store.
I change lives.
Give itBack! Tell me who it is.
It's my boyfriend in heaven Who I made love to when I flatlined.
Give it back! Oh, wow.
So, you think I'm an idiot For wanting to be with my wife, who passed, And you're a spiritual necrophiliac.
I'm an atheist.
Oh, that's even better! You're in love with a person who doesn't exist From a place you don't believe in! Fuck you! You weren't nearly as good as my dead lover.
Neither were you.
Hey.
Why'd you try to kill yourself? Hello? Hi? Lily.
Aah! It's okay! It's Detective Miller.
From the hospital.
Remember? Don't you knock? You left your door open.
That's dangerous.
Wow.
You're a really beautiful girl.
You didn't Intentionally try to kill yourself, did you? You're here because you think I'm beautiful? Where did you get that? You were asleep.
You're good.
You an artist? I sell makeup at a department store.
I change lives.
What are you doing here? Well, you wouldn't talk to me, So the picture was all I had to go on.
I ran it through the system.
Look familiar? Who is he? He's a scumbag grifter.
You ow, forgery, theft, steals old ladies' pocket books.
Classy crimes.
You know him? Did he have something to do with your, uh What's his name? "Diego swane.
" Yeah, you know, and Benny Jackson, rod castellanos, And even as a blond from time to time -- Jenny bixti.
So, do you know him? No.
Then why do you have a thousand pictures of him On your wall? Can I keep this? I need to know what's going on, Lily.
I'm a sketch addict! I sketch people! It's a coincidence.
He was in the hospital the night that you were there.
He was? Gunshot wound.
He was in the same hospital I was? You don't happen to have any Guns lying around here, do you? No.
Of course not.
Mind if I look around? Am I required to be talking to you? Suicide is a crime.
Am I required to let you look around? It's a crime scene.
Have a party.
You were in and out of consciousness at the hospital.
I guess you saw Diego when they wheeled you in, and That's how he's so in your mind -- You know, to sketch.
That must be the reason.
How are your meetings going? Time of my life.
Listen, I really have to get to work, so Call me if you need anything.
Oh! Night night, cat.
Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.
Yeah, hold on just a minute.
Darn it! Ah, he hit his flush on the river.
Why, God? I'm such a faithful servant.
With a gambling problem.
Well, I can afford it.
The parishioners are very good to Jesus.
Just kidding.
Just a little fun, my son.
So, what -- what do you have for me today? I committed adultery.
With your wife in heaven? It's called "masturbating.
" We give you a pass on that now when you're over 30.
This isn't funny.
Oh, I'm sorry.
So, what was this "adultery" you committed When you're not even married anymore? In the eyes of God, I will always be married.
Yeah, well, that's the bible according to Robert.
The rest of us prefer the one where God makes the rules.
I had intimate relations with a woman who isn't my wife.
A few people are in line for hell ahead of you, If that's the worst you've got for me.
We did it in public In an alleyway.
It wasn't even a proper date.
Not only not a sin but something I applaud and support Since two years is plenty of time to mourn.
And you should get on with your life.
She's an atheist.
I like her better all the time.
Atheists are just lost believers.
I feel so guilty.
Well, you should, but not about that.
Then, a-about what? Well It's usually better if you come up with it, But I'll give you a hint.
Suicide is a sin! Fa-- Great.
Another father walking out on me.
Do you know me? You're not a cop, are you, baby? No, I sell makeup at a department store.
I change lives.
I mean It's not my ideal job.
It's just a piece of cake.
No.
It's how we met.
I died.
You died.
Same hospital.
And while we were dead We made love in heaven.
All right, you're freaking me out.
Usually I like freaky.
Not today.
No, wait, listen! Drago or San Diego -- whatever your name is.
While I was dead, I felt alive for the first time in my entire life.
And you and everyone in this diner would be lying If they didn't exist for that -- to feel alive.
I have to feel that again.
All right.
Star-82 me, or I won't pick up.
Okay.
Look who's getting exposed on exposure tonight.
Robert collingsworth, An ophthalmolost from the Upper East Side of Manhattan, Will forever be known as the suicide dummy.
A tape of his ill-fated attempt To drive off the palisades cliff Was caught on tape by the patrons Of the gay cruise ship that he landed on, And millions have watched it on Youtube.
I'm Neil rosen for exp-- Hello? Hello, honey.
How are you? Mother, you really have to stop worrying about me, okay? Hi, I'm shawna rollins, And you probably recognize me From the many magazine covers I've done.
You're probably wondering where I've been for so long.
Well, I have just been so busy keeping myself looking so young.
What do you think? I look good even though I don't get my period anymore.
Don't I? Excuse me.
That's probably Michael gold.
He's my, uh Jewish Agent.
Thanks, honey.
My pleasure.
Mom, I'm home! Reeoow! Mom! "adam, daddy and I will be home later.
"left you some cookies.
"hope you had fun at your suicide help group.
Love, mom.
" yeah, it was great.
Come next time.
Try to kill yourself.
if I don't answer your call maybe I got my hands full I know it's out there sitting at the phone, insomniac this microscope I'm under is killing slowly Hello? Hi, Robert.
Hi, Roberto.
What's going on? Field trip.
My beauty sleep is officially interrupted.
Don't worry, honey.
Strippers love a man in a night brace.
We're not going to the strip club.
Where's Brad?! Meeting him there.
And Lily? Are you -- are you calling her now? Yeah, I ft a message before.
She's not picking up.
What, mom? You wearing your night brace? Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, mom.
I'm wearing my night brace, okay? So, if I go upstairs and I check your night stand, I'm not gonna find your night brace? Oh, my God.
I am so sorry.
Are you listening to me? Yeah.
I remember doctor Okay, mom, yeah.
We had to keep the lines of communication open.
All right, mom.
Is Lily coming, or is she just dead? I'm gonna get her.
That window.
Hi.
Hey, guys, we're all dying over here! Apparently, He was despondent over a financial crisis in his life, And he jumped to his death.
Fuck.
Now his family will get the money From the insurance.
It's been two years since he bought the policy.
something always brings me back to you it never takes too long no matter what I say I'll do I still feel you here till the moment I'm gone set me free, leave me be I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity here I am and I stand so tall just the way I'm supposed to be but you're on to me and all over me I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground but you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go the one thing that I still know ooh ooh you're keeping me down yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah you're on to me on to me and all over something always brings me back to you it never takes too long
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