Grimsburg (2024) s02e08 Episode Script
Blue Light District
1
SUMMERS: You're right on
his tail, Flute
In 20 feet,
follow him down the alley.
FLUTE: Too easy. Let's go
around and surprise him.
SUMMERS: Cross-referencing
city maps.
There's a shortcut
through the drugstore.
FLUTE: Good. I need to
pick up more mustache dye.
SUMMERS: Aisle 12.
Right side. Top shelf.
Texting you a coupon
for BOGO now!
WOMAN: Flute?
You don't remember me
from high school, do you?
FLUTE: Pfft. Of course.
It's great to see you
SUMMERS: Running facial aging
software on your yearbook.
- Her name is
- FLUTE: Diana Leshay.
That was amazing.
SUMMERS:
In two inches, take her chin
with your thumb and forefinger.
DIANA: Will I see you again?
FLUTE: Will you see me again?
- Ahem.
- SUMMERS: Oh, uh sure?
MAN: Uhh.
How did you catch me?
FLUTE: Like I always do
all by myself,
because I do it all.
Summers, take him to the station
and do whatever it is I do there.
[Whistling]
SUMMERS: Our apartment's
the other way.
[Flute whistling]
[Theme music playing]
♪
[Crack]
[Crowd cheering]
WYNONA: Great job
on the case, Flute.
And Summers?
Get this legend a towel.
[Crowd cheering]
[Wynona laughs]
KANG: You know, Summers, you
also contributed to this bust.
SUMMERS: I helped, but Flute
did all the heavy lifting.
Well, except the actual
heavy lifting
when there was a puddle
and I carried him over it
because he didn't want to
get his Chelsea Boots wet.
KANG: It's OK
to want recognition,
whether it's for the work you do
or the ironic outfit
- you wore to a party.
- SUMMERS: You're right. Thanks.
KANG: "Funny hat, Kang."
Is that so hard?
PENTOS: Therefore,
to paraphrase Charles Darwin,
it is not the strongest that
survive, but the most adaptable.
- Khaleesi?
- Yeah.
At what point in your life
did you realize
you were naturally
selected by no one?
[Laughter]
[School bell rings]
PENTOS: How dare you
speak to me like that?!
During my confinement,
I was known around the yard
as quite the bunk hunk.
[Muffled shouting]
STAN: Uhh!
PENTOS: Stan! What are you doing
in this toilet paper chrysalis?
STAN: Khaleesi did this to me
after I refused
to vote for her to be queen of
the Parolecoming dance.
PENTOS: You mean the cherished
tradition where paroled convicts
are reintegrated into society
through, what else,
a middle school dance?
Hmm.
Then perhaps it is time
Khaleesi learned a lesson
in survival of the fittest.
[Cackles]
STAN: Where are you going?
PENTOS: I do my best thinking
on the toity.
SUMMERS: Dinner is served.
So, listen, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
FLUTE: I know what
you're gonna say.
You've been working a
lot lately, and maybe
it is time for me to
finally recognize that.
I mean, you call this dinner?
I only see 4 food groups
represented here.
How do you expect me to grow up
to be big and strong?
SUMMERS: I just feel like all the things
I do for you are taken for granted.
FLUTE: Well, of course they are.
I'm the lead.
If I have to start
appreciating everything,
I'll never have
enough time to save the day.
Besides, you love
cooking and cleaning.
It's therapeutic for you.
Just like getting drunk and
pretending I'm in a confessional
interview on "The Real
Housewives" is therapeutic for me.
If this man thinks I'm gonna
make myself a sandwich,
he's gonna find his self
in the recycling bin.
SUMMERS: I can hear you!
♪
MAN: Hello, kids.
I'm your substitute teacher.
Dr. Pentos was not feeling well.
KHALESSI: He wasn't smelling
well, either.
[Laughter]
MAN: Before I press play,
we have a new student
joining us.
Say hi to Timpani.
[As Timpani] My name
is Timpani, like the drum
my parents conceived me on.
I like K-Pop,
shading bubble letters,
and pretzel bread.
Also, I'm shy.
[Click]
♪
[Lion growls]
PENTOS: Psst, hey, Stan.
You nitwit. It's me.
[Stan gasps] Dr. Pentos?
What are you doing?
PENTOS: There is but one way
to take down a mean girl
and that is to become one.
STAN: There has to be
other ways, but sure.
PENTOS: Time for Operation
Natural Selection.
[Lion growls]
[Static]
DOCTOR: Here you can see
the impacted feces
built up in Khaleesi's
large intestine.
She'll need an emergency
fecalectomy.
KHALESSI: Dad, why are you
recording this?
DAD: I'm a modern parent.
We record everything.
KHALESSI: Uhh!
[As Timpani]
Bruh. Not us watching
the most embarrassing video
of all time. [Laughter]
- KHALESSI: Ohh!
- GIRL: Ha ha ha!
STAN: You did it!
You beat Khaleesi!
[School bell rings]
PENTOS: Ahh.
Back to being Pentos.
GIRL: That was so sick, Timpani.
Want to have lunch with us?
[As Timpani]
Buy me some tots and I may.
[Laughs]
What? It's just lunch.
Then I'll stop.
KANG: Two male sex workers have
been killed in the last week.
Judging by the matching
purple lipstick kisses,
it seems we have a serial killer
in the Blue Light District.
OTIS: What's
the Blue Light District?
KANG: That's where
the many, many, many
widows in Grimsburg go
for companionship.
And I'm sending
one of you undercover.
FLUTE: At your service.
Or should I say at her cervix?
KANG: It's OK, Flute.
We have a volunteer.
FLUTE: Who? Otis? You can't send
him into that part of town.
It could keep him out
past his bedtime.
OTIS: Bedtime?
What am I, a baby? Aah!
Sorry, everyone. I didn't get
a lot of sleep last night.
- KANG: Yeah, it's not Otis.
- FLUTE: So it's Martinez?
You're having a lady
dress up as a man
instead of hiring
an actual man for the job
hashtag representation matters?
- It's Summers.
- Come on, Kang.
Donna Summers died
a long time ago.
And as much as I'd love
to love her on the force,
you have to let that dream go.
KANG: No, Greg Summers,
which means
you'll be in the van as his support.
FLUTE: OK, Kang, is this
another one of your lessons?
Fair enough. Thanks to you,
I've learned [mumbles]
and that sometimes [mumbles]
but ultimately [mumbles].
There. Lesson learned.
KANG: It's not a lesson.
I just think he's
FLUTE: Blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, yeah, fine.
I just can't wait to sit back
and watch Summers fail.
It'll give me
plenty of time to practice
my snarky, little bitch laugh.
Ha ha!
No. Hmm-hmm-hmm.
Ooh, that hurt my feelings.
SUMMERS: As support, you're
my eyes and ears in the van. 2
These TVs are linked
to surveillance cams,
and this gives you access
to city files.
FLUTE: Got it.
And which one has Paramount+?
- You know I needs my "Yellowstone."
- There's no TV in here.
FLUTE: Fine.
I'll watch on my phone.
I just hope
Tiny Costner's bravery
doesn't get lost
on this cracked screen.
SUMMERS: I'm in.
Run a scan on
WOMAN: I'm sorry, but the Blue
Light District is for widows only.
SUMMERS: Actually, I'm
looking for a job, ma'am.
WOMAN: Are ya now?
Well dressed,
refreshingly polite, built like
an industrial SodaStream.
Miss Mavis.
I'm the himp around here.
A himp is like a pimp,
but for hims.
SUMMERS: Oh! That's cute.
MISS MAVIS: It better be.
I'm getting my master's
from Grimsburg's top school
for wordplay Pun College.
SUMMERS: Pun State was taken?
MISS MAVIS: Heh.
The stable of men I manage
provide companionship
to widows who miss
certain things
about their husbands.
You'll clean,
you'll share their interests,
you'll hang a flat screen TV.
[Women laugh]
We sit in that sweet spot
between a grief counselor
and the Geek Squad.
But to know if you're
the right man for this job,
I'll need you to build
this desk from IKEA.
There's no instructions and only
a flathead screwdriver. Go.
SUMMERS:
Flute, run a LIDAR scan,
cross-reference the output
to IKEA's latest catalog,
and download a PDF
of the instructions.
- Hold on got it!
- Flute, I
FLUTE: Can't right now. Busy
watching white men in cowboy hats
turn back the cultural clock.
SUMMERS: I'm sorry.
I wanted to build it for you,
but I can't.
I should go.
MISS MAVIS:
Yeah, you should go home
and rest up,
because you're hired.
That test was designed
to be unsolvable.
Because admitting defeat
is the sexiest thing
a man can do, outside of
a well-timed
"You're too good a friend for her."
- You'll do well here
- SUMMERS: Greg.
MISS MAVIS: No. From now on,
you're Richard Gears.
That's the kind of stuff you get
for 60 grand a year.
[School bell rings]
PENTOS: Change of plan!
Evolution forces animals to adapt,
so, we're not done yet.
[As Timpani]
Hey, Lil. That top is slay.
STAN: It kinda seems like
you want to keep
- pretending to be a teen girl.
- PENTOS: Nonsense!
We must make sure Khaleesi
wins Queen of the Parolecoming.
[As Timpani]
Oh, Stan, you're so funny
and have an impressive
quantity of rizz.
Of course I'll be your girlfriend.
KHALESSI: You're going out
with this loser?
[As Timpani] Loser? Using the
transitive property of popularity, if I,
the hottest girl in school,
go out with him,
then that makes Stan
the coolest boy here.
[Skates gasps] It's true.
KHALESSI: This isn't over.
[Groans]
- STAN: Wait, now we're dating?
- Stan, it's so simple.
As the mean girl, her obvious
next move is to destroy me
by stealing my boyfriend.
She'll ask you to the dance,
you will accept, and then,
during her coronation,
you will
dump her in front of
the entire school.
[Cackles]
STAN: That plan
doesn't sound so simple.
PENTOS: Stop judging me!
Boys are the worst! Aah!
KANG: Oh, she hired you
right on the spot, huh?
- Nice detective work, Summers.
- FLUTE: Please.
He got a job as a sex
worker who doesn't have sex.
That's like landing a gig as
a chef who doesn't cook.
Or a doctor who doesn't heal.
Or a DoorDash driver
who doesn't have
a roll of "sealed for safety"
stickers in his car
so he can reseal the bag after
he's done licking all your food.
WYNONA: Hold on.
Miss Mavis is giving you
health insurance,
life insurance, and dental?
FLUTE: Can LED teeth
even get cavities?
Pfft. [Laughs]
Right? What?
SUMMERS: Great question.
As my support,
why don't you
look that up for me
while I'm out solving the case?
[Door slams]
KANG: Did Summers just
stand up to you?
FLUTE: Please. I've seen
better standing up
at a paraplegic sporting event.
And I can say that because
I've actually been to one.
Because I care.
And I misunderstood
what "murderball" was.
♪
[Women gasp]
[Women groan]
WOMAN:
And then she had the nerve
to say it was my fault.
SUMMERS: You're too good
a friend for her.
WOMAN: Exactly.
SUMMERS: Excuse me for a moment.
Flute, cross-check
her license plate
with the traffic cams on
the nights of the murders.
V-3-G
FLUTE: Hold on.
Where's the V?
- It's next to the B.
- Where is that?
None of these letters
are in order.
What did you do to this keyb
Oh, I found it.
Second letter?
- It's a 3.
- There are numbers on here, too?
SUMMERS: Uhh!
♪
Flute, enable wireless
attack vectors
to gain access
to this Jane's phone.
FLUTE: On it. Summers,
enable wireless attack vectors
to gain access
to this Jane's phone.
- I'm not there!
- Oh. Then I can't do it.
♪
- SUMMERS: This looks delicious.
- WOMAN: No, no.
Just eat in awkward silence.
Mm. Yeah, that's the stuff.
FLUTE: Thank God you're home.
I almost had to use your credit card
to DoorDash dinner.
What are you making us?
SUMMERS: You don't
take care of me out there,
so I'm not
taking care of you in here.
Make yourself a sandwich.
FLUTE: Oh, and how exactly
do you propose I do that, huh?
Should I just magically
get all the ingredients out
and insert them
into the bread manually?
I don't solve sandwiches,
I solve cases.
SUMMERS: Not this one.
I'm the one killing it out there now.
Miss Mavis said I'm
a million-dollar find,
which is why she invited me
to an Eyes Wide Open
Listening Orgy tomorrow.
She said everyone will be there,
which means so will our killer.
- Beginner's luck.
- Then where's yours?
You stink at support.
FLUTE: Pfft.
I could do your job if I tried.
SUMMERS: Then why don't you?
I'll tell you why.
Because you're too scared to try.
You can come to
the party tomorrow, but
I'll handle it all
lead and support.
FLUTE: Fine by me.
And speaking of doing it all,
did we land on what kind of
sandwich you're making me?
STAN: Oh! [Coughing]
- Eat much?
- Huh?
Dr. Pentos?
What happened to Timpani?
PENTOS: Change of plan. Now I'm
Devin, the new kid from Texas.
Darwin says females are drawn
to dominant males for survival.
Once Khaleesi sees you fight me,
she will immediately be attracted.
Here she comes.
[As Devin] Say, pardner,
them there those they're
fighting words at me.
Let's fight.
- STAN: Uhh!
- DEVIN: Uhh!
- KHALESSI: You hit him?
- STAN: Yep.
He shoulda known better
than to mess with
72 pounds of
overly medicated muscle!
- You're a bully.
- I know.
Wait. But you're a bully.
KHALESSI: I was, until
Timpani hurt my feelings
and showed me how bad it is.
Are you all right?
- [Pentos as Devin] Devin.
- KHALESSI: Devin.
Would you want to be my date
to the Parolecoming Dance?
DEVIN: I reckon I do, ma'am.
KHALESSI: Great.
See you there.
- STAN: What the hell is going on?
- PENTOS: Change of plan.
STAN: You've changed it so much,
I'm starting to wonder
if there was even
a plan in the first place.
PENTOS: Wow. No wonder
you're eating alone.
♪
SUMMERS: She's gotta be
here somewhere.
FLUTE: If you're asking me
to run an analysis
on the guests, don't bother,
because though you can't see it,
my arms are crossed,
making it impossible to help,
or to scratch the itch
on my chin.
Uhh, this really itches,
but I can't risk
uncrossing my arms and helping.
ROBOTIC VOICE:
Using spectral analysis
- to scan for purple lipstick.
- FLUTE: Damn it!
ROBOTIC VOICE:
One match found.
FLUTE: Purple lipstick
went up the stairs.
SUMMERS: Still not helping
since I already saw that.
FLUTE: I think I saw the door close
on the last room on the right.
SUMMERS: Run a thermal heat scan.
You know how to do that, right?
FLUTE: Uh, yeah.
I'm not an idiot.
That's them in there.
SUMMERS: Freeze!
You're all
supportive boyfriends
helping her get
the best angle to slay
these photos, Queen?
[All screaming]
Flute? Flute?
Flute!
FLUTE: Did you eat
any of these hot wings?
MAN: No. See?
It's still sealed.
Sticker no broken.
Sticker no lie.
FLUTE: This is a child's
scratch and sniff sticker.
[Moped zooms off]
[Flute sniffs]
Mm. Gasoline.
SUMMERS:
I want Flute off my case. 3
He purposely misled me
because he's jealous
- I was about to solve it.
- FLUTE: Pfft. Do you think
I'd ever listen to you
closely enough to even
know the right moment
to screw you over?
MARTINEZ: You're off the case,
Flute, but so are you, Summers.
- Your cover's blown.
- SUMMERS: What?
But I had on a mask.
I could have been
any lovable,
pear-shaped cyborg.
MARTINEZ: It's too risky.
I can't send you back in there.
Dismissed.
- I said dismissed!
- SUMMERS: Nobody said anything.
MARTINEZ: I know, but I love doing that.
♪
[Ankle monitor beeping]
PENTOS: I'm worried
you may not become king
after punching Devin.
So I took the liberty
of stuffing the ballot boxes
for you and Khaleesi.
Speaking of, where are
she and Devin?
- STAN: What? You're Devin.
- PENTOS: There she is.
[Devin and Khaleesi laugh]
- STAN: How did you
- DEVIN: Where's your gal?
[Stan whimpers]
KHALESSI: I knew you were a loser.
[Devin and Khaleesi laugh]
♪
[Devin mouthing words]
[Door opens]
SUMMERS: Look who it is.
My bess frin Fruit.
- Are you drunk?
- Isn't this what all lead detectives do?
I let my battery go under 5%
so Low Power Mode kicks in
and that's basically like
being drunk.
It shuts off non-essential
functions like
proper pronunciation, caring,
and holding back burps.
[Burps]
Outta my way.
I gotta figure this case out.
[Phone rings]
Telephone hello?
MISS MAVIS: Richard Gears!
Thank God.
I have a special client
for you to meet tonight.
I'll send you her address
and you can meet me there.
SUMMERS: You bet.
Shine to time!
FLUTE: But Martinez pulled you
off the case.
You can't go rogue.
Going rogue is my thing.
SUMMERS: You gonna stop me?
Go ahead. Try.
Imagine that was a gun.
FLUTE: Fine. See if I care.
Which I don't,
because I only care about
telling you to see if I care,
which I don't.
See above. [Chewing]
I made a sandwich all by myself.
And the meat is inside the bread.
No. Yeah, That's right.
And if I can do that,
then I can do this.
WYNONA: Life insurance?
Life insurance?
Life insurance.
SUMMERS: Miss Mavis said
I'm a million-dollar find.
Million-dollar find.
Million-dollar find.
OTIS: Have I talked to you
this episode?
I don't think I have.
I don't think I have.
Hi there.
[Flute gasps]
PENTOS: It is time for the winners.
[Drumroll]
This year's queen is Khaleesi.
[Cheering and applause]
And the king is
[Drumroll]
Devin?
MAN: Hey! Where's Devin?
PENTOS: Uh, I, I believe
he's backstage.
[Grunting]
[Cheering and applause]
KHALESSI: Thanks,
but this belongs to the girl
who taught me what being a queen
really means Timpani.
[Cheering and applause]
[As Devin] And I will go get her.
[Grunting]
[Cheering and applause]
[As Timpani] Consider me
gooped, gagged,
and girling out to this win.
Blessed vibes, no cap,
gotta-goo.
KHALESSI: Don't forget
your dance with the king.
[As Timpani] Right. Of course.
Let me fetch Devin.
STAN: How's he gonna
pull this off?
MR. FLESH:
Is "not convincingly" an option?
♪
PENTOS: Ha ha ha! Yee-ha!
What the hell? [Babbling]
Aah!
[Crowd gasps]
KHALESSI: Predator eats prey.
That's called Dar-winning.
[Pentos groaning]
[Stan gasps] She knew
it was him the whole time.
MR. FLESH:
Yeah, I think everyone did.
[Beeping] SUMMERS: Miv Mazis,
you got a plug I could use?
MISS MAVIS: Oh, I got something
I could plug you with.
Sorry, but I need your
life insurance money
to pay for wordplay school.
I've decided to get
a second degree in burns.
FLUTE: Summers, get down!
MISS MAVIS: Ugh!
[Tires screech]
FLUTE: You're at 1%.
To save power,
turn off your vision and reroute
everything left to your legs.
SUMMERS: But I won't
be able to see.
FLUTE: You won't need to.
I'll be your eyes.
20 yards ahead and right.
SUMMERS: Oh!
FLUTE: Then another 50,
turn around, and stop.
SUMMERS: Uhh.
It's a dead end.
MISS MAVIS:
Sadly, most sex work is.
Now, why is my professor
never around
when I make a good one?
[Beeping]
SUMMERS: Oh, my head hurts.
If this is what being lead is like,
then I prefer the support role.
It's got a much nicer
view you.
FLUTE: And while I don't want
to be support,
I now appreciate how hard it is.
Even the toilet in there
is impossible to use.
SUMMERS: We don't have
a toilet in the van.
FLUTE: Ah. Then you may want
to avoid using
the all-in-one
printer for a while.
SUMMERS:
Hi! We had fun tonight, 4
but we also dealt with
some serious subjects.
FLUTE: If you or
someone you know
is involved in or thinking about
switching places
with their partner, don't.
SUMMERS: It's not worth it.
I'm a beta.
FLUTE: And I'm
a raging alpha-holic.
We're where we are for a reason.
Why fight it?
Thanks for listening.
Now let's celebrate and go
get a prostitute.
[Buzz]
Damn! Almost made it
through the show
- without saying that word.
- SUMMERS: You can't say that?
FLUTE: You can't say
a lot of things, Summers.
Don't even get me started
on "Gypsy" the musical!
Now I'm covered.
SUMMERS: You're right on
his tail, Flute
In 20 feet,
follow him down the alley.
FLUTE: Too easy. Let's go
around and surprise him.
SUMMERS: Cross-referencing
city maps.
There's a shortcut
through the drugstore.
FLUTE: Good. I need to
pick up more mustache dye.
SUMMERS: Aisle 12.
Right side. Top shelf.
Texting you a coupon
for BOGO now!
WOMAN: Flute?
You don't remember me
from high school, do you?
FLUTE: Pfft. Of course.
It's great to see you
SUMMERS: Running facial aging
software on your yearbook.
- Her name is
- FLUTE: Diana Leshay.
That was amazing.
SUMMERS:
In two inches, take her chin
with your thumb and forefinger.
DIANA: Will I see you again?
FLUTE: Will you see me again?
- Ahem.
- SUMMERS: Oh, uh sure?
MAN: Uhh.
How did you catch me?
FLUTE: Like I always do
all by myself,
because I do it all.
Summers, take him to the station
and do whatever it is I do there.
[Whistling]
SUMMERS: Our apartment's
the other way.
[Flute whistling]
[Theme music playing]
♪
[Crack]
[Crowd cheering]
WYNONA: Great job
on the case, Flute.
And Summers?
Get this legend a towel.
[Crowd cheering]
[Wynona laughs]
KANG: You know, Summers, you
also contributed to this bust.
SUMMERS: I helped, but Flute
did all the heavy lifting.
Well, except the actual
heavy lifting
when there was a puddle
and I carried him over it
because he didn't want to
get his Chelsea Boots wet.
KANG: It's OK
to want recognition,
whether it's for the work you do
or the ironic outfit
- you wore to a party.
- SUMMERS: You're right. Thanks.
KANG: "Funny hat, Kang."
Is that so hard?
PENTOS: Therefore,
to paraphrase Charles Darwin,
it is not the strongest that
survive, but the most adaptable.
- Khaleesi?
- Yeah.
At what point in your life
did you realize
you were naturally
selected by no one?
[Laughter]
[School bell rings]
PENTOS: How dare you
speak to me like that?!
During my confinement,
I was known around the yard
as quite the bunk hunk.
[Muffled shouting]
STAN: Uhh!
PENTOS: Stan! What are you doing
in this toilet paper chrysalis?
STAN: Khaleesi did this to me
after I refused
to vote for her to be queen of
the Parolecoming dance.
PENTOS: You mean the cherished
tradition where paroled convicts
are reintegrated into society
through, what else,
a middle school dance?
Hmm.
Then perhaps it is time
Khaleesi learned a lesson
in survival of the fittest.
[Cackles]
STAN: Where are you going?
PENTOS: I do my best thinking
on the toity.
SUMMERS: Dinner is served.
So, listen, I wanted to
talk to you about something.
FLUTE: I know what
you're gonna say.
You've been working a
lot lately, and maybe
it is time for me to
finally recognize that.
I mean, you call this dinner?
I only see 4 food groups
represented here.
How do you expect me to grow up
to be big and strong?
SUMMERS: I just feel like all the things
I do for you are taken for granted.
FLUTE: Well, of course they are.
I'm the lead.
If I have to start
appreciating everything,
I'll never have
enough time to save the day.
Besides, you love
cooking and cleaning.
It's therapeutic for you.
Just like getting drunk and
pretending I'm in a confessional
interview on "The Real
Housewives" is therapeutic for me.
If this man thinks I'm gonna
make myself a sandwich,
he's gonna find his self
in the recycling bin.
SUMMERS: I can hear you!
♪
MAN: Hello, kids.
I'm your substitute teacher.
Dr. Pentos was not feeling well.
KHALESSI: He wasn't smelling
well, either.
[Laughter]
MAN: Before I press play,
we have a new student
joining us.
Say hi to Timpani.
[As Timpani] My name
is Timpani, like the drum
my parents conceived me on.
I like K-Pop,
shading bubble letters,
and pretzel bread.
Also, I'm shy.
[Click]
♪
[Lion growls]
PENTOS: Psst, hey, Stan.
You nitwit. It's me.
[Stan gasps] Dr. Pentos?
What are you doing?
PENTOS: There is but one way
to take down a mean girl
and that is to become one.
STAN: There has to be
other ways, but sure.
PENTOS: Time for Operation
Natural Selection.
[Lion growls]
[Static]
DOCTOR: Here you can see
the impacted feces
built up in Khaleesi's
large intestine.
She'll need an emergency
fecalectomy.
KHALESSI: Dad, why are you
recording this?
DAD: I'm a modern parent.
We record everything.
KHALESSI: Uhh!
[As Timpani]
Bruh. Not us watching
the most embarrassing video
of all time. [Laughter]
- KHALESSI: Ohh!
- GIRL: Ha ha ha!
STAN: You did it!
You beat Khaleesi!
[School bell rings]
PENTOS: Ahh.
Back to being Pentos.
GIRL: That was so sick, Timpani.
Want to have lunch with us?
[As Timpani]
Buy me some tots and I may.
[Laughs]
What? It's just lunch.
Then I'll stop.
KANG: Two male sex workers have
been killed in the last week.
Judging by the matching
purple lipstick kisses,
it seems we have a serial killer
in the Blue Light District.
OTIS: What's
the Blue Light District?
KANG: That's where
the many, many, many
widows in Grimsburg go
for companionship.
And I'm sending
one of you undercover.
FLUTE: At your service.
Or should I say at her cervix?
KANG: It's OK, Flute.
We have a volunteer.
FLUTE: Who? Otis? You can't send
him into that part of town.
It could keep him out
past his bedtime.
OTIS: Bedtime?
What am I, a baby? Aah!
Sorry, everyone. I didn't get
a lot of sleep last night.
- KANG: Yeah, it's not Otis.
- FLUTE: So it's Martinez?
You're having a lady
dress up as a man
instead of hiring
an actual man for the job
hashtag representation matters?
- It's Summers.
- Come on, Kang.
Donna Summers died
a long time ago.
And as much as I'd love
to love her on the force,
you have to let that dream go.
KANG: No, Greg Summers,
which means
you'll be in the van as his support.
FLUTE: OK, Kang, is this
another one of your lessons?
Fair enough. Thanks to you,
I've learned [mumbles]
and that sometimes [mumbles]
but ultimately [mumbles].
There. Lesson learned.
KANG: It's not a lesson.
I just think he's
FLUTE: Blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, yeah, fine.
I just can't wait to sit back
and watch Summers fail.
It'll give me
plenty of time to practice
my snarky, little bitch laugh.
Ha ha!
No. Hmm-hmm-hmm.
Ooh, that hurt my feelings.
SUMMERS: As support, you're
my eyes and ears in the van. 2
These TVs are linked
to surveillance cams,
and this gives you access
to city files.
FLUTE: Got it.
And which one has Paramount+?
- You know I needs my "Yellowstone."
- There's no TV in here.
FLUTE: Fine.
I'll watch on my phone.
I just hope
Tiny Costner's bravery
doesn't get lost
on this cracked screen.
SUMMERS: I'm in.
Run a scan on
WOMAN: I'm sorry, but the Blue
Light District is for widows only.
SUMMERS: Actually, I'm
looking for a job, ma'am.
WOMAN: Are ya now?
Well dressed,
refreshingly polite, built like
an industrial SodaStream.
Miss Mavis.
I'm the himp around here.
A himp is like a pimp,
but for hims.
SUMMERS: Oh! That's cute.
MISS MAVIS: It better be.
I'm getting my master's
from Grimsburg's top school
for wordplay Pun College.
SUMMERS: Pun State was taken?
MISS MAVIS: Heh.
The stable of men I manage
provide companionship
to widows who miss
certain things
about their husbands.
You'll clean,
you'll share their interests,
you'll hang a flat screen TV.
[Women laugh]
We sit in that sweet spot
between a grief counselor
and the Geek Squad.
But to know if you're
the right man for this job,
I'll need you to build
this desk from IKEA.
There's no instructions and only
a flathead screwdriver. Go.
SUMMERS:
Flute, run a LIDAR scan,
cross-reference the output
to IKEA's latest catalog,
and download a PDF
of the instructions.
- Hold on got it!
- Flute, I
FLUTE: Can't right now. Busy
watching white men in cowboy hats
turn back the cultural clock.
SUMMERS: I'm sorry.
I wanted to build it for you,
but I can't.
I should go.
MISS MAVIS:
Yeah, you should go home
and rest up,
because you're hired.
That test was designed
to be unsolvable.
Because admitting defeat
is the sexiest thing
a man can do, outside of
a well-timed
"You're too good a friend for her."
- You'll do well here
- SUMMERS: Greg.
MISS MAVIS: No. From now on,
you're Richard Gears.
That's the kind of stuff you get
for 60 grand a year.
[School bell rings]
PENTOS: Change of plan!
Evolution forces animals to adapt,
so, we're not done yet.
[As Timpani]
Hey, Lil. That top is slay.
STAN: It kinda seems like
you want to keep
- pretending to be a teen girl.
- PENTOS: Nonsense!
We must make sure Khaleesi
wins Queen of the Parolecoming.
[As Timpani]
Oh, Stan, you're so funny
and have an impressive
quantity of rizz.
Of course I'll be your girlfriend.
KHALESSI: You're going out
with this loser?
[As Timpani] Loser? Using the
transitive property of popularity, if I,
the hottest girl in school,
go out with him,
then that makes Stan
the coolest boy here.
[Skates gasps] It's true.
KHALESSI: This isn't over.
[Groans]
- STAN: Wait, now we're dating?
- Stan, it's so simple.
As the mean girl, her obvious
next move is to destroy me
by stealing my boyfriend.
She'll ask you to the dance,
you will accept, and then,
during her coronation,
you will
dump her in front of
the entire school.
[Cackles]
STAN: That plan
doesn't sound so simple.
PENTOS: Stop judging me!
Boys are the worst! Aah!
KANG: Oh, she hired you
right on the spot, huh?
- Nice detective work, Summers.
- FLUTE: Please.
He got a job as a sex
worker who doesn't have sex.
That's like landing a gig as
a chef who doesn't cook.
Or a doctor who doesn't heal.
Or a DoorDash driver
who doesn't have
a roll of "sealed for safety"
stickers in his car
so he can reseal the bag after
he's done licking all your food.
WYNONA: Hold on.
Miss Mavis is giving you
health insurance,
life insurance, and dental?
FLUTE: Can LED teeth
even get cavities?
Pfft. [Laughs]
Right? What?
SUMMERS: Great question.
As my support,
why don't you
look that up for me
while I'm out solving the case?
[Door slams]
KANG: Did Summers just
stand up to you?
FLUTE: Please. I've seen
better standing up
at a paraplegic sporting event.
And I can say that because
I've actually been to one.
Because I care.
And I misunderstood
what "murderball" was.
♪
[Women gasp]
[Women groan]
WOMAN:
And then she had the nerve
to say it was my fault.
SUMMERS: You're too good
a friend for her.
WOMAN: Exactly.
SUMMERS: Excuse me for a moment.
Flute, cross-check
her license plate
with the traffic cams on
the nights of the murders.
V-3-G
FLUTE: Hold on.
Where's the V?
- It's next to the B.
- Where is that?
None of these letters
are in order.
What did you do to this keyb
Oh, I found it.
Second letter?
- It's a 3.
- There are numbers on here, too?
SUMMERS: Uhh!
♪
Flute, enable wireless
attack vectors
to gain access
to this Jane's phone.
FLUTE: On it. Summers,
enable wireless attack vectors
to gain access
to this Jane's phone.
- I'm not there!
- Oh. Then I can't do it.
♪
- SUMMERS: This looks delicious.
- WOMAN: No, no.
Just eat in awkward silence.
Mm. Yeah, that's the stuff.
FLUTE: Thank God you're home.
I almost had to use your credit card
to DoorDash dinner.
What are you making us?
SUMMERS: You don't
take care of me out there,
so I'm not
taking care of you in here.
Make yourself a sandwich.
FLUTE: Oh, and how exactly
do you propose I do that, huh?
Should I just magically
get all the ingredients out
and insert them
into the bread manually?
I don't solve sandwiches,
I solve cases.
SUMMERS: Not this one.
I'm the one killing it out there now.
Miss Mavis said I'm
a million-dollar find,
which is why she invited me
to an Eyes Wide Open
Listening Orgy tomorrow.
She said everyone will be there,
which means so will our killer.
- Beginner's luck.
- Then where's yours?
You stink at support.
FLUTE: Pfft.
I could do your job if I tried.
SUMMERS: Then why don't you?
I'll tell you why.
Because you're too scared to try.
You can come to
the party tomorrow, but
I'll handle it all
lead and support.
FLUTE: Fine by me.
And speaking of doing it all,
did we land on what kind of
sandwich you're making me?
STAN: Oh! [Coughing]
- Eat much?
- Huh?
Dr. Pentos?
What happened to Timpani?
PENTOS: Change of plan. Now I'm
Devin, the new kid from Texas.
Darwin says females are drawn
to dominant males for survival.
Once Khaleesi sees you fight me,
she will immediately be attracted.
Here she comes.
[As Devin] Say, pardner,
them there those they're
fighting words at me.
Let's fight.
- STAN: Uhh!
- DEVIN: Uhh!
- KHALESSI: You hit him?
- STAN: Yep.
He shoulda known better
than to mess with
72 pounds of
overly medicated muscle!
- You're a bully.
- I know.
Wait. But you're a bully.
KHALESSI: I was, until
Timpani hurt my feelings
and showed me how bad it is.
Are you all right?
- [Pentos as Devin] Devin.
- KHALESSI: Devin.
Would you want to be my date
to the Parolecoming Dance?
DEVIN: I reckon I do, ma'am.
KHALESSI: Great.
See you there.
- STAN: What the hell is going on?
- PENTOS: Change of plan.
STAN: You've changed it so much,
I'm starting to wonder
if there was even
a plan in the first place.
PENTOS: Wow. No wonder
you're eating alone.
♪
SUMMERS: She's gotta be
here somewhere.
FLUTE: If you're asking me
to run an analysis
on the guests, don't bother,
because though you can't see it,
my arms are crossed,
making it impossible to help,
or to scratch the itch
on my chin.
Uhh, this really itches,
but I can't risk
uncrossing my arms and helping.
ROBOTIC VOICE:
Using spectral analysis
- to scan for purple lipstick.
- FLUTE: Damn it!
ROBOTIC VOICE:
One match found.
FLUTE: Purple lipstick
went up the stairs.
SUMMERS: Still not helping
since I already saw that.
FLUTE: I think I saw the door close
on the last room on the right.
SUMMERS: Run a thermal heat scan.
You know how to do that, right?
FLUTE: Uh, yeah.
I'm not an idiot.
That's them in there.
SUMMERS: Freeze!
You're all
supportive boyfriends
helping her get
the best angle to slay
these photos, Queen?
[All screaming]
Flute? Flute?
Flute!
FLUTE: Did you eat
any of these hot wings?
MAN: No. See?
It's still sealed.
Sticker no broken.
Sticker no lie.
FLUTE: This is a child's
scratch and sniff sticker.
[Moped zooms off]
[Flute sniffs]
Mm. Gasoline.
SUMMERS:
I want Flute off my case. 3
He purposely misled me
because he's jealous
- I was about to solve it.
- FLUTE: Pfft. Do you think
I'd ever listen to you
closely enough to even
know the right moment
to screw you over?
MARTINEZ: You're off the case,
Flute, but so are you, Summers.
- Your cover's blown.
- SUMMERS: What?
But I had on a mask.
I could have been
any lovable,
pear-shaped cyborg.
MARTINEZ: It's too risky.
I can't send you back in there.
Dismissed.
- I said dismissed!
- SUMMERS: Nobody said anything.
MARTINEZ: I know, but I love doing that.
♪
[Ankle monitor beeping]
PENTOS: I'm worried
you may not become king
after punching Devin.
So I took the liberty
of stuffing the ballot boxes
for you and Khaleesi.
Speaking of, where are
she and Devin?
- STAN: What? You're Devin.
- PENTOS: There she is.
[Devin and Khaleesi laugh]
- STAN: How did you
- DEVIN: Where's your gal?
[Stan whimpers]
KHALESSI: I knew you were a loser.
[Devin and Khaleesi laugh]
♪
[Devin mouthing words]
[Door opens]
SUMMERS: Look who it is.
My bess frin Fruit.
- Are you drunk?
- Isn't this what all lead detectives do?
I let my battery go under 5%
so Low Power Mode kicks in
and that's basically like
being drunk.
It shuts off non-essential
functions like
proper pronunciation, caring,
and holding back burps.
[Burps]
Outta my way.
I gotta figure this case out.
[Phone rings]
Telephone hello?
MISS MAVIS: Richard Gears!
Thank God.
I have a special client
for you to meet tonight.
I'll send you her address
and you can meet me there.
SUMMERS: You bet.
Shine to time!
FLUTE: But Martinez pulled you
off the case.
You can't go rogue.
Going rogue is my thing.
SUMMERS: You gonna stop me?
Go ahead. Try.
Imagine that was a gun.
FLUTE: Fine. See if I care.
Which I don't,
because I only care about
telling you to see if I care,
which I don't.
See above. [Chewing]
I made a sandwich all by myself.
And the meat is inside the bread.
No. Yeah, That's right.
And if I can do that,
then I can do this.
WYNONA: Life insurance?
Life insurance?
Life insurance.
SUMMERS: Miss Mavis said
I'm a million-dollar find.
Million-dollar find.
Million-dollar find.
OTIS: Have I talked to you
this episode?
I don't think I have.
I don't think I have.
Hi there.
[Flute gasps]
PENTOS: It is time for the winners.
[Drumroll]
This year's queen is Khaleesi.
[Cheering and applause]
And the king is
[Drumroll]
Devin?
MAN: Hey! Where's Devin?
PENTOS: Uh, I, I believe
he's backstage.
[Grunting]
[Cheering and applause]
KHALESSI: Thanks,
but this belongs to the girl
who taught me what being a queen
really means Timpani.
[Cheering and applause]
[As Devin] And I will go get her.
[Grunting]
[Cheering and applause]
[As Timpani] Consider me
gooped, gagged,
and girling out to this win.
Blessed vibes, no cap,
gotta-goo.
KHALESSI: Don't forget
your dance with the king.
[As Timpani] Right. Of course.
Let me fetch Devin.
STAN: How's he gonna
pull this off?
MR. FLESH:
Is "not convincingly" an option?
♪
PENTOS: Ha ha ha! Yee-ha!
What the hell? [Babbling]
Aah!
[Crowd gasps]
KHALESSI: Predator eats prey.
That's called Dar-winning.
[Pentos groaning]
[Stan gasps] She knew
it was him the whole time.
MR. FLESH:
Yeah, I think everyone did.
[Beeping] SUMMERS: Miv Mazis,
you got a plug I could use?
MISS MAVIS: Oh, I got something
I could plug you with.
Sorry, but I need your
life insurance money
to pay for wordplay school.
I've decided to get
a second degree in burns.
FLUTE: Summers, get down!
MISS MAVIS: Ugh!
[Tires screech]
FLUTE: You're at 1%.
To save power,
turn off your vision and reroute
everything left to your legs.
SUMMERS: But I won't
be able to see.
FLUTE: You won't need to.
I'll be your eyes.
20 yards ahead and right.
SUMMERS: Oh!
FLUTE: Then another 50,
turn around, and stop.
SUMMERS: Uhh.
It's a dead end.
MISS MAVIS:
Sadly, most sex work is.
Now, why is my professor
never around
when I make a good one?
[Beeping]
SUMMERS: Oh, my head hurts.
If this is what being lead is like,
then I prefer the support role.
It's got a much nicer
view you.
FLUTE: And while I don't want
to be support,
I now appreciate how hard it is.
Even the toilet in there
is impossible to use.
SUMMERS: We don't have
a toilet in the van.
FLUTE: Ah. Then you may want
to avoid using
the all-in-one
printer for a while.
SUMMERS:
Hi! We had fun tonight, 4
but we also dealt with
some serious subjects.
FLUTE: If you or
someone you know
is involved in or thinking about
switching places
with their partner, don't.
SUMMERS: It's not worth it.
I'm a beta.
FLUTE: And I'm
a raging alpha-holic.
We're where we are for a reason.
Why fight it?
Thanks for listening.
Now let's celebrate and go
get a prostitute.
[Buzz]
Damn! Almost made it
through the show
- without saying that word.
- SUMMERS: You can't say that?
FLUTE: You can't say
a lot of things, Summers.
Don't even get me started
on "Gypsy" the musical!
Now I'm covered.