House Husbands (2012) s05e09 Episode Script
Season 5, Episode 9
1 But I can also be irresponsible and, uh, feckless.
Well, that is a real shame because I'm late.
Possibly very probably pregnant.
Yeah, I've already spoken to Peta.
- Did ya? - Mmm.
What did she say? When do I start training? Wait, you're not gonna give him a go? Not this year, no.
You don't need money, you need some time.
Stay a week.
We'll sort the car out.
Then we'll see where you're at.
I like the way you do business, Mr Crabb.
That'll be Councillor Crabb soon.
Once the voters have their say.
Excuse me? Angie's on the radio.
FIFI BOX: (ON RADIO) Which Californian sporting team is named after the original gold prospectors? The 49ers.
The 49ers? BRENDAN FEVOLA: (ON RADIO) Oh, forget school.
DAVE THORNTON: (ON RADIO) Get those passports ready, Angie Yes! We're going to California! Come on! Let's go! I don't get why we need another librarian.
She's not a librarian, Lewis.
She's a literacy specialist, and a very good one.
We're lucky to have her.
Yeah, but surely it's up to the parents to shell out for extra learning if their little Johnny isn't up to it.
The P&C voted, I secured funding.
You would know that if your head wasn't firmly - Yes? - in your council business.
How come your name isn't on this list? I got something on that weekend.
The spelling bee is important.
It doesn't look good if the council nominee doesn't make a showing.
Have a good day.
(CAR ALARM TRILLS) What did you do?! It just went off.
It's clearly too sensitive.
- No, it's not.
- (ALARM STOPS) This is a classic car.
Yeah, '73 911 coupe.
No accounting for taste, huh? This is staff parking only, so you're gonna have to - Oh, hello.
Welcome.
- Hi.
- Is she the new teacher? - Oh, she must be.
You found us okay? Of course you did.
- Stupid question.
(LAUGHS) - Ahem.
Er, Izzy Dreyfus, our new literacy specialist.
Oh.
Nick Gazecki.
I'm the music teacher.
Nick will get you organised in the staffroom.
- I can't right now.
I've got to - Thank you.
- RACHEL: Oh, what's her tat say? - GEMMA: I don't know.
Right.
Shall we? I think I was expecting someone more teacher-y or something.
She'll be a welcome addition to the staffroom.
- Oh, totally.
- Love her jacket too.
What do you call that look? - Youth.
- (WOMEN LAUGH) It's nice to be alive thanks to PetaG This is a test, isn't it? It's just to see if you need my help.
So don't feel bad.
A lot of kids need a hand with literacy.
- Poppy doesn't.
- Poppy Oliver? Hmm? Uh! We'll see.
She's up next.
Would you like to start? A (SIGHS) As councillor, I pro promise to clean up our community and make it a better place for for ever-e ever-i-on who comes here.
Well, it's hard to pronounce the words when they're misspelt.
Sorry.
LEWIS: This is why I'm running, garbage collection.
Just another council service that's gone to the dogs.
They leave behind more than they pick up.
Drains are blocked every time it rains.
That's the point of a drain, to collect the rain.
Well, when you put it like that, Lewis.
Hey, Nick! Earth to Nick.
Oh, sorry.
What do you think of this sign? Sorry, I haven't slept.
The hormones.
Testosterone? It's Rachel.
Ever since the pregnancy, she's been insatiable.
Insatiable? How? Two or three times.
- What, a week? - A night! Oh, well, yeah, we've all been there.
Yeah.
(GROANS) See you, darling.
- What, are you going already? - Yeah, I've got to get back.
- Back to school? - Yep.
We've still got a couple of hours, don't we? (LAUGHS) Yeah, I have to get going.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Should make an impact.
At this house and this street.
- What about Nepean South? - What about it? You should be on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
You've got to be amongst the people.
I am amongst the people.
Speaking for the people, there is no apostrophe in 'care's.
Who's gonna notice an upside down comma? Me.
I couldn't vote for a man who can't control his punctuation.
Fine.
I'll paint it out.
Mark, I've got a flat pack that needs putting together in the bedroom.
The one we're converting to OliveHill HQ.
Can't Nick help? Well, he hasn't got your tools.
- Could I do it later? - When we have our meeting.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Here we go.
- ANGIE: Dad.
- Yeah? Is it today or yesterday? Well, it's yesterday in LA and today here, I think.
Ask me tomorrow.
One second, baby.
Hey! Welcome back, gang.
- Raf? - Kids, bring it in.
Boys, Ange, oh! Okay, guys, unpack, come on.
So you want a place to live? No! Bro, I'm hurt.
There's no agenda this time.
I'm serious.
While you were away, Lewis got me thinking about stuff.
Oh, yeah.
What kind of stuff? Like you and me, my future.
He inspired me to call your footy friend Peta.
Yeah, yeah, Peta Cox.
And? And she invited me for a meet and greet.
I don't know, I must have impressed her because I've got a fitness test this Saturday.
I'm taking the guys Kokoda training tomorrow.
- Maybe you should tag along.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm there.
I'm back.
Kids, who wants brekkie? - Me! - Me! (CHUCKLES) All right, dig in.
Dig in.
Do you think Nick looks tired? Huh? I hadn't noticed.
I don't think he's sleeping.
Ah could be the hormones.
Testosterone, you know, happens at his at our age.
(CHUCKLES) Right.
There we go.
- So quick.
(LAUGHS) - Yeah.
You really know how to use those tools.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Love a man in a tool belt.
Um do you think I could uh could I have my mallet? Oh.
Thank you.
Right, okay.
Thanks very much.
Oop, sorry.
(LAUGHS) Here we go.
(GROANS) There we go, darling.
(CHUCKLES) Daddy's here.
Here we go.
(LAUGHS) Okay, have fun.
You've got 10 minutes.
Kids wanted to show off their souvenirs.
- Hey.
- How was the family holiday? Yeah, good.
All good.
All expenses paid, what's not to love? Hey, thanks for looking after Rafiq.
I don't know what you did, but he's like a new man.
I think he responded to my wisdom.
Who's this? Oh, that's Izzy.
She's the new literacy specialist.
And a terrible driver.
Yeah.
- Hey there.
- Mark Oliver.
Mark Oliver, is that French? Yeah No.
Oh, well, Mark first name, Oliver last name.
Ah, Poppy's dad.
- Justin.
- Right.
- Justin Baynie? - Yep.
Yeah, I had the biggest crush on you in Year 10.
- Oh! - I didn't get out much back then.
(LAUGHS) Can I see you in my classroom for a moment, Lewis? Absolutely.
I'm all yours.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
How did Tilda go this morning? Yeah, Tilda's fine.
But she did bring in something of yours to read.
Lewis, do you read? Of course I read.
I mean books with lots of text.
Well, I don't get that much time.
Why, are you gonna recommend something? Maybe, but not a book.
See, I looked at the way that you spelt things, the way that you constructed sentences.
Well, I'm not an expert like you.
No, of course, but there were some obvious problems that I can help you with.
Have you ever been tested for dyslexia? No.
Why? I think you might be under that umbrella.
(LAUGHS) What umbrella? How do you feel about taking a test? How can I be dyslexic? Well, you do tick a few of these boxes.
I spell, I write, I read.
Oh, your spelling is appalling, your writing is dreadful and you hardly ever read.
I read books to Tilda every night.
Well, you interpret them.
I don't remember Alice ever going to the Wonderland RSL for $2 pots with her mates.
Well, that's poetic licence.
Well, I think Izzy's just revoked your licence.
Are you taking a shower? Oh, you used to like my man sweat.
I do.
(LAUGHS) Hey, I'm working afternoon shift tomorrow.
- Can you mind Georgia? - Mm-hm.
(GIGGLES) What are you doing? - Gettin' jiggy.
- (TABLET DINGS) It's work.
I'll - I'll switch off.
- Mm-hm.
(LAUGHS) Funny work emergency? Oh, not an emergency.
Just a funny email.
(CHUCKLES) - (SIGHS) - (SIGHS) (MUMBLES) Some other time.
Hey! Don't feel bad.
What, that my wife prefers a funny email to me? - At least Rachel finds me sexy.
- Rachel? Yeah, she tried to crack on to me twice today.
Why is that so funny? Oh, no.
No, no, it's not.
Um, you I think you have a split in your PJs.
Oh, for the love of (ROBOTIC VOICE) S-T-L-E-T.
Wrong.
Try again.
I-S-T-L-T-O-E.
Wrong.
Try again.
Oh, stupid bloody thing.
It's after midnight, darl.
What are you doing? I'm practising for the spelling bee.
I don't want to look stupid in front of the voting public.
- It's meant to be a fun event.
- Oh, for you maybe.
If it wasn't for autocorrect, I'd be stuffed.
Autocorrect's made everyone illiterate.
Everyone's not running for council.
L-I-S-C-L JUSTIN: Raf, let's do it.
Work harder.
Let's go.
Make me try You went and left me all alone Come on, boys! To the top of the hill and back again.
Kokoda's gonna be tougher than this.
Come on, Raf.
I thought you were an elite athlete.
Let's go, fellas.
Speed it up.
He's making you look soft.
- LEWIS: Don't see you running.
- That's because I'm fit.
Thanks for helping out with Rachel.
You really took one for the team.
- How so? - The bookshelf.
- I kept putting it off.
- (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah.
Rafiq, you all right? Hey, I didn't tell you to stop.
Come on, bottom of the hill and back again.
- Are you right? - I feel crap.
If you can't hack this, how will you last four quarters of footy? Come on, man up! Let's go, boys.
Hey, Sergeant Baynie, cool it.
- Yeah, bro.
- (GROANS) - Cool it.
- Oh, yeah? Is that all you got? Angie hits harder than you.
- Does she now? - Yeah.
(LAUGHTER) (GROANING, LAUGHTER) (JUSTIN GROANS, LAUGHS) And still the champion! Hey, get up.
Stop joking.
Hey, Rafiq, are you all right? - Hey? - Hey.
Come on, mate, hey.
- Raf.
- Raf.
Yes, yes, that's right.
Yeah, the bottom of the hill.
On the esplanade.
Yes, thank you.
You are kidding me.
JUSTIN: Hey, talk to me.
Raf! What happened? Did he hit his head or? - There weren't any rocks.
- Exhaustion maybe.
I mean, he was going pretty hard at the end there.
- Hey! - RAF: I still beat you lot.
- (LAUGHTER) - Hey, hey.
Hey, just chill, okay? Chill.
We're getting you an ambulance, okay? What? Why? No, I'm fine.
It's just It's low blood sugar, okay? - I just need some food.
- Right.
The access gate's locked.
We're gonna have to meet the ambulance down there.
- Okay.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - What are you doing? - You heard him.
We need to meet them at the gate.
- Okay, okay, just - Take this off.
- I'm fine! - You're not fine.
- I got it.
- Come on.
Just to the gate.
Mark, please tell me you're close.
I can't take her with me.
- (CLUNKING) - Mark? - (CLUNK!) - Oh, Abi, you're home.
Um, yeah, I live here.
Mark said I could borrow his tools.
- I want to hang some paintings.
- Oh! Sorry, I thought you'd be at work.
Yes, well, so did I, but Mark's supposed to be minding Georgia.
I suppose I could take her.
No.
That's fine.
Thank you.
But, um we'll manage.
Very well.
Thank you.
LEWIS: Yeah, scratch the ambulance.
He's up and about.
- That's because I'm fine.
- Get in the car.
Yes, we'll drop by Emergency on the way home just to make sure.
Thanks, fellas.
- See ya.
- See ya.
Oh, a ticket! The machine was broken! Oh, Abi's gonna kill me.
What a joke! Money-grabbing parking tickets, locked gate, no emergency access.
Bugger it! You know what.
I'm gonna take a broom to that council.
Oh, Lewis Crabb cleaning up council.
Yeah, I can see that.
Ha! Cleaning up council.
Picture this, me with a broom, sweeping Town Hall into the rubbish! Or not.
Whatever you reckon.
You could be my campaign director.
Oh, I don't know.
I I've got a business.
Make me your business.
Money's no object within reason.
Its a win-win.
- I raise my profile and Olive Tree - Hill.
Olive Tree Hill gets the kudos for promoting a winning candidate.
All right! But I have final say on strategy.
And I get to check every press release.
Mate, you can stick your commas wherever you like.
Just get me elected.
Isn't this fun coming to Mummy's work in rush hour? Yes, it is! Dr Albert, if you are here today, please report to ED.
Ah.
Gavin, Gavin.
Um, time to brush up on your paediatrics.
This child is dehydrated.
She needs regular obs, 300mls of warm milk, some mashed banana.
And I'd recommend a nap in about half an hour.
Uh, there's a storybook in here.
- Georgia? - Mm-hm.
What's wrong with her? Negligent father.
Dr Albert, when you're ready.
Mr Barami, you must be born under an unlucky star.
At least your complexion's improved since the last time I saw you.
Rafiq? So, ah, you had a turn at the beach? Yeah, it used to happen to me all the time during training.
Why didn't you say? Because it doesn't matter.
You used to lose consciousness during training? Well, no, just head spins.
I mean, this is the very first time that I've ever passed out.
Sober.
But I'm as fit as I've ever been.
Can you organise a cardio consult right away with Dr Coleman? - A cardio? - It's just a precaution.
Hi, I'm Lewis Crabb, and I'm here at St Michael's Hospital, where a young man who, due to a locked council gate, was forced to walk 100m after he collapsed, is now receiving the treatment that he requires.
You, give me the patient.
No, I'm sorry, Nurse.
I'm the campaign manager for Give me the patient now.
Or should I call security? She's not a patient.
She's she's actually my daughter.
She's Dr Albert's daughter? Well, if you want to be technical about it, yeah.
Look, there was just a bit of a mix-up with creche, so Well, then, I should report it to ensure this egregious waste of hospital resources never happens again.
Oh, there's no need for that.
We're all adults here.
(CHUCKLES) Except for the baby.
Oh, please.
Stop selling, Mr Crabb.
I'm not buying.
Okay, thanks.
I'll let him know.
So, good to go? - Not yet.
- What is it? The scan suggests you have arrhythmia.
It's an irregular heartbeat.
What's that mean, like a once off? It could be more serious than that.
We need to do some more tests.
But given your history of dizzy spells, I think it's an ongoing condition.
So what's he need to do to get better? Beta-blockers can help to regulate the heartbeat, otherwise we may need to implant a defibrillator.
The most important thing is to avoid anything that puts undue stress on the heart.
Or what? The good thing is we've found it now.
I did this to him, didn't I? I pushed him too hard.
- Justin, it's not your fault.
- Abi, what is it? There is another issue that affects you and the boys.
I'm really sorry but this condition is genetic.
I would have been better off not knowing and then collapsing on a footy field.
Come on, don't be silly.
You don't mean that.
At least I'd be remembered.
I mean, who remembers the kid who never made it because he had a turn? Great story, Raf.
I don't even have a scar to show for it.
I'm sorry.
Don't be, because I'm not going out like this.
You heard the doc, I can beat it with the drugs.
Yeah, manage it.
Same thing, whatever.
Yeah, I guess I played with guys who had medical problems.
One bloke, I remember, had half a foot.
- Yeah, Davey Cowes, right? - Yeah.
He had a great kick.
That was the other foot, but still You'll bounce back.
(LAID-BACK GUITAR MUSIC) - Am I in trouble? - I don't know, Mark.
Do you deserve to be in trouble? Look, all I said to Toni What's going on with you and Rachel? - Oh, you mean her hormones? - No, I mean with you.
She was here today borrowing your tools.
Or at least that's what she told me.
I told you she was into me.
(LAUGHS) Oh, don't worry, I'm a one-woman man.
Who just happens to be attractive to other women.
I guess that makes me a lucky woman, then, huh? - I guess it does.
- Right.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) What did you tell Toni about Georgia? - I told her she was our child - (GASPS) because she was threatening to call security.
Oh, no! Now she knows I had my kid at the hospital.
I need to call her before this becomes a thing.
Well, more of a thing.
(LAID-BACK GUITAR MUSIC) Stuck again, Dad? Oh, just the usual speed hump, Pops.
What's the product this time? Lewis Crabb.
Pops, what do you think a councillor is? They have them at Mum's work.
They listen to people's problems.
Listening.
Listening is important.
Who would listen to Lewis? What if he gave them something? Like coffee? Hashtag coffee with Crabb.
They talk, he listens.
I like it.
You are a chip off the old block.
Mwah.
Now, I have to make a call.
ABI: It doesn't hurt, boys.
The halter monitor just records your heartbeat over 24 hours.
Why do we have to wear these things? Because the hospital's doing a special study on twins to see if their hearts beat the same.
- Come on.
- Good boy.
Zac.
Justin, you can stop.
Did I pass? Looks like you passed.
No arrhythmia.
What about Rafiq? You mentioned beta-blockers.
Or a defibrillator if they don't work.
Let's say they do, what's to stop him playing footy again? Well, drugs can only do so much.
The more stress Rafiq puts Yeah, yeah, I know you have to give me the worst-case scenario.
But this is me, Abi.
There must be a way he can play footy again.
- Right? - I'm sorry, there's not.
Do you want me to tell him? No, I'll do it.
Do you have a moment to talk about the Local Council elections? No, fair enough.
It's only your future.
Can you pretend you're listening to me? Oh, shouldn't be too hard.
- I'm dying here.
- Aw! Where's my campaign manager? - Hey, Nick - Not now, Lewis.
Oi! I set it to a lower sensitivity.
Oh, I hope not too low.
You don't want to lose all sensation.
Beautiful bike girl.
You know, I think it's the combination of the brainy vibe and the boots.
What does your tattoo say? It says 'wanderlust'.
- Did it hurt? - Can't say.
I was out of it.
- Oh! - Groovy.
Oh, she means rad.
No, I remember 'groovy' and 'rad'.
(LAUGHS) Groovy was fine.
(HORN HONKS) What are you doing? I don't want my campaign turning into a circus! It's called getting your message out.
I see coffee! Mwah! How much is this gonna cost me? You said money was no object.
- Of course it's an object! - Put it on your credit card.
I'm kidding.
A mate did a favour.
I've got contacts, and Twitter.
And by the way, the local press are here today.
You are launching your campaign.
But I haven't got a speech.
Good.
You're supposed to be listening.
Hashtag coffee with Crabb.
What's not to like? - Everybody got a coffee? - Vote 1 Lewis Crabb.
Look, I won't keep you long.
I'm Lewis Crabb and I'm running for Local Council.
I've got no love for politics or politicians, but I do love Nepean South.
And I can't stand by and let this egregious council run it into the ground.
I've lived in this suburb for over 10 years, so I know what affects you, and I think that if we work together, we can build a suburb that we can be proud of.
Yes, we can! Yes, we can! And if you'd like to see Mr Crabb in top flight, make sure you come to the spelling bee where you can see him separating his existentialism from his egalitarianism.
(LIGHT APPLAUSE) I'm not doing that spelling bee.
Your supporters out by your coffee van were clapping.
They're expecting to see you there, you know.
As a voice of the people, Lewis.
I didn't realise public office would be so public.
Oh, toughen up, tiger.
The smaller the prize, the dirtier it gets.
Hmm.
I won't be playing dirty.
Unlike you.
Does that mean you'll do it? Might be a few votes in it.
Do I have a choice? - (PHONE RINGS) - Excuse me.
Heather Looby.
(SIGHS) Felix Digby's broken his other wrist.
Honestly, that child.
Lewis, what are you doing? Looby conned me into the spelling bee.
Well, you can do it.
Just meet me in my classroom after school and I'll give you a few tips.
Maybe.
- You got a moment? - I'm not going anywhere.
Okay.
- So how did the treadmill test go? - Oh Let me guess.
You're all clear.
- You were always so lucky.
- (BANGING) Hey, kids, knock it off.
So how are you holding up? Yeah, good.
Good.
I decided that I'm not gonna let this thing define me.
You know, last night I couldn't sleep, bro.
I was just laying there, thinking about getting on the field again.
Mmm.
And I got that feeling, you know, the spark? I I haven't felt that in months.
Yeah, let's just hope Peta doesn't let you down again.
She can't.
Not twice.
- You had something to say? - Huh? Oh, no.
It was nothing.
(MOANS) (SIGHS) RACHEL: Nick! Where are you, my gorgeous love god? (NICK SNORES) Come here, you.
Huh? (SNORES, GROANS) - Atticus is on the PlayStation.
- (SNORES) He can't hear a thing with those headphones on.
(GROANS) Oh, Rach.
I just need a few more minutes.
(YAWNS) Better be quick.
Just need a little nap on the couch (SNORES) (SNORES) (FOOTSTEPS ABATE) If Tilda asks, don't tell her I was here.
Our secret endeavour.
Easy.
E-N-D Remember chunking.
Just break it into groups of letters.
E-N-D E-A-V O-U-R.
Impeccable.
- Thanks.
- (LAUGHS) Oh, that as well.
Just cut it into syllables.
I-M-P-E-C-C-A-B-L-E.
See, it's perfect.
It's good.
Great work.
MARK: Lewis, give me your phone.
Now, I've set up a Twitter account and I need you to understand how to use it.
Show me.
Well, I want you to use it as a kind of campaign diary, but, you know, throw in a few personal observations of your own.
Like the debacle with Rafiq at the shire park? Hashtag debacle.
Gold Crabb.
What about 'egregious'? Can we use 'egregious'? How do you spell 'egregious'? Egregious, E-G Let's go with 'bad'.
It's strong, it's simple.
Also there's a thing called a hashtag, which allows you to connect with other followers.
The important thing is is that they understand your tweet.
Keep them short, keep them simple.
Okay.
You have a go.
You've tweeted a cat with a bow tie.
Perfect.
GEMMA: Well, describe the cravings.
RACHEL: Constant.
It's all I think about.
One look at him and bang.
Is that weird? No! How strong are they? Oh, strong enough that I ended up at Mark's place.
Mark's place? I borrowed his tools to build flat packs.
I figured if I kept busy it'd keep my mind off things.
Well, distraction therapy definitely helps.
Is there nothing I can take? - I'm afraid not.
- Oh! I'm driving Nick crazy.
Clawing at him the whole time.
I feel so desperate.
Oh, don't.
I was exactly the same.
- Really? - Poor Lewis lost a couple of kilos.
(LAUGHS) On the weekends, he would go fishing to get a break.
(BOTH LAUGH) Wakey-wakey! Rach! What are you doing? Why are you still napping here? - (GROANS) - Come up to our bed.
(SIGHS) Because if I went upstairs, you'd want to Oh, I know, have sex.
I can't keep up.
It's embarrassing.
I feel like I'm rejecting you every time, but I can't.
Honestly, I can't.
I know.
I'm sorry I've been harassing you.
It's these pregnancy hormones.
Gemma's given me a few suggestions.
I will try to restrain myself to twice a day.
(LAUGHS) (UNENTHUSIASTICALLY) Great.
Aside from that, how do you feel about fishing? Hmm? (LAUGHS) Yep.
Hey, Ange, go get the boys, okay? What did the doctor say? They want me to stay in bed for three more days.
Okay.
Well, uh, hang in there.
I gotta go, okay? Ah, I'll speak to you later.
- All right, mate.
- All right, bye.
Dad, Jacob's not getting up! What? Jacob! Jacob! Oi! Hey.
Oi, Jake.
Jake, it's Dad.
What's going on here? We were being robots, like Uncle Raf.
I unplugged Jacob and he short-circuited.
(LAUGHS) Peta, are we still on? Great.
Okay, bye.
Hi! Could you just leave that there? Rafiq's in the bathroom.
Thank you.
I can have them put them back on.
No, no, there should be enough data here.
Looks good.
How good? I'm told perfectly normal rhythm.
(SIGHS) - Yes! We're normal.
- You're not.
Come here, you two.
Come here.
(KISSES) You guys really scared me, you know that.
You have my permission to go crazy at the spelling bee.
Dead in a Rolls-Royce having overeaten again.
- What? - In case I get diarrhoea.
It's a classic spelling bee word.
- It's a memory trick I learnt.
- Hi! - Hi.
- Hi.
Good luck, Daddy.
I'll be fine.
As long as I don't get 'croquembouche'.
Please, Tils, anything but croquembouche.
(GIGGLES) - Hey.
- Hey.
You're trending.
The video I put up, it's getting a lot of likes.
- Yeah.
- So do cat videos.
Um, yeah, so anyway, I thought 'something breezy'.
- Oh, same jackets then.
- (BOTH LAUGH) - Have you seen Nick? - No.
- He's probably hiding somewhere.
- Sorry? Oh, he'll be around somewhere.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
"Crabb will clean up at Nepean South spelling bee.
" Clever.
- (BOTH LAUGH) - It's good, isn't it? Rachel is all over Mark.
- And she's dressed like - Like us.
Is she checking out all of the dads? It's pregnancy.
It's nature's Viagra.
So the only reason she's hitting on Mark is because of hormones? Pretty much.
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed judges, let the bee begin.
Your word is 'eviscerate'.
E-V-I-S-C-E-R-A-T-E.
- (BANG!) - Correct.
Mr Baynie, your word is 'arrhythmia'.
A-R-Y-T Incorrect! Daddy, your word is 'frenvy'.
Um, frenvy isn't a word, darling.
Yes, it is.
I read it online.
It's jealousy of someone you like.
I'll allow it.
Frenvy.
It's obviously a portmanteau.
Uh, F-R-dash-E - (BANG!) - Incorrect! - But it - Incorrect! (APPLAUSE) Lewis Crabb.
(LAUGHS) (APPLAUSE) Daddy, your word is 'profiteroles'.
- Profiteroles? - Yes.
As in, a tower of profiteroles is also known as a croquembouche.
Profiteroles P-R-O F-I-T-E-R O-L-E-S.
Correct! We have a tie break, folks.
Miss Dreyfus, your word is 'tarantula'.
Ahem.
Easy.
T-A-R-A-N-T-U-L-A.
Correct.
Daddy, your word is is 'libarian'.
Could I have that in context, darling? The 'libarian' works at the library.
'Libarian' L-I-B-A-R-I-A-N.
But Miss Looby, 'libarian' isn't a word.
It's pronounced 'librarian'.
Well, you did allow 'frenvy'.
Mr Crabb spelt the word he was given correctly.
We have a tie.
Our winners, folks.
Now we're to have some words of wisdom from Lewis Crabb.
Oh, I'd like to say something.
Vote 1 Lewis Crabb! Thank you very much, Miss Dreyfus.
Who would have thought my maiden political speech would be easier than this spelling bee.
- (LAUGHTER, PHONE DINGS) - But ladies and gentlemen, on a serious note, we have a great community spirit - Raf's in trouble.
- here at Nepean South.
And that was on display today.
And as a community, we can achieve great things.
If you dream it, you can do it.
You and me.
Vote 1 Lewis Crabb.
Warmed up enough? Yep.
Let's do it.
- Set.
- (BLOWS WHISTLE) Raf, stop! Raf! Raf, wait! Hey! Hey, hear me out, please.
- I'm doing this.
- No, you're not.
Yeah? Well, then, stop me.
Oi! Baynie, back off.
He's in the middle of a trial! Stay out of it.
- Mate, it's over.
- Over? - Yeah.
- I've just started.
Your heart, it's serious.
What are you talking about? You can't keep pushing yourself like this anymore.
I'm going to.
Look, you've got your whole life to be great at something else.
- But I'm great at this, Justin! - I know.
- I get it.
- Okay, it's not fair.
I just want to do something that I love doing.
I know.
I get that.
Peta said that she'd take care of me.
She doesn't care about you.
All she cares about is her footy stats.
Them they couldn't care less about how fast you run or how you kick a football.
You matter.
You matter to me.
To all of us.
Just get out of my way, bro.
MARK: I said I was a one-woman man.
You know, I like this new look.
Every day? Who doesn't love a dirty doctor? Maybe just for private consultations.
Want to know what all the fuss is about? I know what all the fuss is about.
(LAUGHS) (MOTORBIKE APPROACHES) IZZY: I thought it was you.
Looks perfect.
Thanks.
And thanks for being such a good sport at the spelling bee.
I owe you one.
Not at all.
It was very sweet of you.
Tilda's a lucky girl.
And Iz, I don't think I'll be taking any tests.
I reckon I'm fine the way I am.
So do I.
I'll see ya.
- (LAUGHTER) - Happy Birthday, mate.
Thank you.
Thanks.
- What is that? - It's a new low-carb boutique beer.
Boutique? What a crock.
- Put that in your campaign material.
- (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) Oh, Izzy.
Thought she'd be more club than pub.
Yeah, me too.
Perfect chance to win a few female votes.
Hello, ladies.
- (GROANS) - Oh, smooth.
I'm Lewis Crabb and I'm running for Local Council.
All right, I better head off.
Got to read the baby a bedtime story.
- It's not even born yet.
- Rachel's idea.
She reckons that it helps with early cerebral stimulation.
(MOTORBIKE ENGINE REVS) Excuse me for a sec.
- See you, lads.
- See ya.
- Hey! - (ENGINES REVS) It doesn't belong to you! Hey! Izzy! What's the go? Is that your bike? - Yep.
- I'll call the cops.
No, no, I don't want the police involved.
I know the guy.
I'll sort it out.
All right, well, if you're sure.
Yeah.
- Is this your local? - Ah, yeah.
I don't really come here much anymore, though.
A special occasion? Yeah, it's, uh my birthday.
Oh, I didn't know.
You should have told me at school.
I don't really like all the fuss, you know.
Happy birthday, Mr Gazecki.
Feel so low
Well, that is a real shame because I'm late.
Possibly very probably pregnant.
Yeah, I've already spoken to Peta.
- Did ya? - Mmm.
What did she say? When do I start training? Wait, you're not gonna give him a go? Not this year, no.
You don't need money, you need some time.
Stay a week.
We'll sort the car out.
Then we'll see where you're at.
I like the way you do business, Mr Crabb.
That'll be Councillor Crabb soon.
Once the voters have their say.
Excuse me? Angie's on the radio.
FIFI BOX: (ON RADIO) Which Californian sporting team is named after the original gold prospectors? The 49ers.
The 49ers? BRENDAN FEVOLA: (ON RADIO) Oh, forget school.
DAVE THORNTON: (ON RADIO) Get those passports ready, Angie Yes! We're going to California! Come on! Let's go! I don't get why we need another librarian.
She's not a librarian, Lewis.
She's a literacy specialist, and a very good one.
We're lucky to have her.
Yeah, but surely it's up to the parents to shell out for extra learning if their little Johnny isn't up to it.
The P&C voted, I secured funding.
You would know that if your head wasn't firmly - Yes? - in your council business.
How come your name isn't on this list? I got something on that weekend.
The spelling bee is important.
It doesn't look good if the council nominee doesn't make a showing.
Have a good day.
(CAR ALARM TRILLS) What did you do?! It just went off.
It's clearly too sensitive.
- No, it's not.
- (ALARM STOPS) This is a classic car.
Yeah, '73 911 coupe.
No accounting for taste, huh? This is staff parking only, so you're gonna have to - Oh, hello.
Welcome.
- Hi.
- Is she the new teacher? - Oh, she must be.
You found us okay? Of course you did.
- Stupid question.
(LAUGHS) - Ahem.
Er, Izzy Dreyfus, our new literacy specialist.
Oh.
Nick Gazecki.
I'm the music teacher.
Nick will get you organised in the staffroom.
- I can't right now.
I've got to - Thank you.
- RACHEL: Oh, what's her tat say? - GEMMA: I don't know.
Right.
Shall we? I think I was expecting someone more teacher-y or something.
She'll be a welcome addition to the staffroom.
- Oh, totally.
- Love her jacket too.
What do you call that look? - Youth.
- (WOMEN LAUGH) It's nice to be alive thanks to PetaG This is a test, isn't it? It's just to see if you need my help.
So don't feel bad.
A lot of kids need a hand with literacy.
- Poppy doesn't.
- Poppy Oliver? Hmm? Uh! We'll see.
She's up next.
Would you like to start? A (SIGHS) As councillor, I pro promise to clean up our community and make it a better place for for ever-e ever-i-on who comes here.
Well, it's hard to pronounce the words when they're misspelt.
Sorry.
LEWIS: This is why I'm running, garbage collection.
Just another council service that's gone to the dogs.
They leave behind more than they pick up.
Drains are blocked every time it rains.
That's the point of a drain, to collect the rain.
Well, when you put it like that, Lewis.
Hey, Nick! Earth to Nick.
Oh, sorry.
What do you think of this sign? Sorry, I haven't slept.
The hormones.
Testosterone? It's Rachel.
Ever since the pregnancy, she's been insatiable.
Insatiable? How? Two or three times.
- What, a week? - A night! Oh, well, yeah, we've all been there.
Yeah.
(GROANS) See you, darling.
- What, are you going already? - Yeah, I've got to get back.
- Back to school? - Yep.
We've still got a couple of hours, don't we? (LAUGHS) Yeah, I have to get going.
- Okay.
- Bye.
Should make an impact.
At this house and this street.
- What about Nepean South? - What about it? You should be on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
You've got to be amongst the people.
I am amongst the people.
Speaking for the people, there is no apostrophe in 'care's.
Who's gonna notice an upside down comma? Me.
I couldn't vote for a man who can't control his punctuation.
Fine.
I'll paint it out.
Mark, I've got a flat pack that needs putting together in the bedroom.
The one we're converting to OliveHill HQ.
Can't Nick help? Well, he hasn't got your tools.
- Could I do it later? - When we have our meeting.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Here we go.
- ANGIE: Dad.
- Yeah? Is it today or yesterday? Well, it's yesterday in LA and today here, I think.
Ask me tomorrow.
One second, baby.
Hey! Welcome back, gang.
- Raf? - Kids, bring it in.
Boys, Ange, oh! Okay, guys, unpack, come on.
So you want a place to live? No! Bro, I'm hurt.
There's no agenda this time.
I'm serious.
While you were away, Lewis got me thinking about stuff.
Oh, yeah.
What kind of stuff? Like you and me, my future.
He inspired me to call your footy friend Peta.
Yeah, yeah, Peta Cox.
And? And she invited me for a meet and greet.
I don't know, I must have impressed her because I've got a fitness test this Saturday.
I'm taking the guys Kokoda training tomorrow.
- Maybe you should tag along.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I'm there.
I'm back.
Kids, who wants brekkie? - Me! - Me! (CHUCKLES) All right, dig in.
Dig in.
Do you think Nick looks tired? Huh? I hadn't noticed.
I don't think he's sleeping.
Ah could be the hormones.
Testosterone, you know, happens at his at our age.
(CHUCKLES) Right.
There we go.
- So quick.
(LAUGHS) - Yeah.
You really know how to use those tools.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Love a man in a tool belt.
Um do you think I could uh could I have my mallet? Oh.
Thank you.
Right, okay.
Thanks very much.
Oop, sorry.
(LAUGHS) Here we go.
(GROANS) There we go, darling.
(CHUCKLES) Daddy's here.
Here we go.
(LAUGHS) Okay, have fun.
You've got 10 minutes.
Kids wanted to show off their souvenirs.
- Hey.
- How was the family holiday? Yeah, good.
All good.
All expenses paid, what's not to love? Hey, thanks for looking after Rafiq.
I don't know what you did, but he's like a new man.
I think he responded to my wisdom.
Who's this? Oh, that's Izzy.
She's the new literacy specialist.
And a terrible driver.
Yeah.
- Hey there.
- Mark Oliver.
Mark Oliver, is that French? Yeah No.
Oh, well, Mark first name, Oliver last name.
Ah, Poppy's dad.
- Justin.
- Right.
- Justin Baynie? - Yep.
Yeah, I had the biggest crush on you in Year 10.
- Oh! - I didn't get out much back then.
(LAUGHS) Can I see you in my classroom for a moment, Lewis? Absolutely.
I'm all yours.
Thanks.
Excuse me.
How did Tilda go this morning? Yeah, Tilda's fine.
But she did bring in something of yours to read.
Lewis, do you read? Of course I read.
I mean books with lots of text.
Well, I don't get that much time.
Why, are you gonna recommend something? Maybe, but not a book.
See, I looked at the way that you spelt things, the way that you constructed sentences.
Well, I'm not an expert like you.
No, of course, but there were some obvious problems that I can help you with.
Have you ever been tested for dyslexia? No.
Why? I think you might be under that umbrella.
(LAUGHS) What umbrella? How do you feel about taking a test? How can I be dyslexic? Well, you do tick a few of these boxes.
I spell, I write, I read.
Oh, your spelling is appalling, your writing is dreadful and you hardly ever read.
I read books to Tilda every night.
Well, you interpret them.
I don't remember Alice ever going to the Wonderland RSL for $2 pots with her mates.
Well, that's poetic licence.
Well, I think Izzy's just revoked your licence.
Are you taking a shower? Oh, you used to like my man sweat.
I do.
(LAUGHS) Hey, I'm working afternoon shift tomorrow.
- Can you mind Georgia? - Mm-hm.
(GIGGLES) What are you doing? - Gettin' jiggy.
- (TABLET DINGS) It's work.
I'll - I'll switch off.
- Mm-hm.
(LAUGHS) Funny work emergency? Oh, not an emergency.
Just a funny email.
(CHUCKLES) - (SIGHS) - (SIGHS) (MUMBLES) Some other time.
Hey! Don't feel bad.
What, that my wife prefers a funny email to me? - At least Rachel finds me sexy.
- Rachel? Yeah, she tried to crack on to me twice today.
Why is that so funny? Oh, no.
No, no, it's not.
Um, you I think you have a split in your PJs.
Oh, for the love of (ROBOTIC VOICE) S-T-L-E-T.
Wrong.
Try again.
I-S-T-L-T-O-E.
Wrong.
Try again.
Oh, stupid bloody thing.
It's after midnight, darl.
What are you doing? I'm practising for the spelling bee.
I don't want to look stupid in front of the voting public.
- It's meant to be a fun event.
- Oh, for you maybe.
If it wasn't for autocorrect, I'd be stuffed.
Autocorrect's made everyone illiterate.
Everyone's not running for council.
L-I-S-C-L JUSTIN: Raf, let's do it.
Work harder.
Let's go.
Make me try You went and left me all alone Come on, boys! To the top of the hill and back again.
Kokoda's gonna be tougher than this.
Come on, Raf.
I thought you were an elite athlete.
Let's go, fellas.
Speed it up.
He's making you look soft.
- LEWIS: Don't see you running.
- That's because I'm fit.
Thanks for helping out with Rachel.
You really took one for the team.
- How so? - The bookshelf.
- I kept putting it off.
- (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah.
Rafiq, you all right? Hey, I didn't tell you to stop.
Come on, bottom of the hill and back again.
- Are you right? - I feel crap.
If you can't hack this, how will you last four quarters of footy? Come on, man up! Let's go, boys.
Hey, Sergeant Baynie, cool it.
- Yeah, bro.
- (GROANS) - Cool it.
- Oh, yeah? Is that all you got? Angie hits harder than you.
- Does she now? - Yeah.
(LAUGHTER) (GROANING, LAUGHTER) (JUSTIN GROANS, LAUGHS) And still the champion! Hey, get up.
Stop joking.
Hey, Rafiq, are you all right? - Hey? - Hey.
Come on, mate, hey.
- Raf.
- Raf.
Yes, yes, that's right.
Yeah, the bottom of the hill.
On the esplanade.
Yes, thank you.
You are kidding me.
JUSTIN: Hey, talk to me.
Raf! What happened? Did he hit his head or? - There weren't any rocks.
- Exhaustion maybe.
I mean, he was going pretty hard at the end there.
- Hey! - RAF: I still beat you lot.
- (LAUGHTER) - Hey, hey.
Hey, just chill, okay? Chill.
We're getting you an ambulance, okay? What? Why? No, I'm fine.
It's just It's low blood sugar, okay? - I just need some food.
- Right.
The access gate's locked.
We're gonna have to meet the ambulance down there.
- Okay.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - What are you doing? - You heard him.
We need to meet them at the gate.
- Okay, okay, just - Take this off.
- I'm fine! - You're not fine.
- I got it.
- Come on.
Just to the gate.
Mark, please tell me you're close.
I can't take her with me.
- (CLUNKING) - Mark? - (CLUNK!) - Oh, Abi, you're home.
Um, yeah, I live here.
Mark said I could borrow his tools.
- I want to hang some paintings.
- Oh! Sorry, I thought you'd be at work.
Yes, well, so did I, but Mark's supposed to be minding Georgia.
I suppose I could take her.
No.
That's fine.
Thank you.
But, um we'll manage.
Very well.
Thank you.
LEWIS: Yeah, scratch the ambulance.
He's up and about.
- That's because I'm fine.
- Get in the car.
Yes, we'll drop by Emergency on the way home just to make sure.
Thanks, fellas.
- See ya.
- See ya.
Oh, a ticket! The machine was broken! Oh, Abi's gonna kill me.
What a joke! Money-grabbing parking tickets, locked gate, no emergency access.
Bugger it! You know what.
I'm gonna take a broom to that council.
Oh, Lewis Crabb cleaning up council.
Yeah, I can see that.
Ha! Cleaning up council.
Picture this, me with a broom, sweeping Town Hall into the rubbish! Or not.
Whatever you reckon.
You could be my campaign director.
Oh, I don't know.
I I've got a business.
Make me your business.
Money's no object within reason.
Its a win-win.
- I raise my profile and Olive Tree - Hill.
Olive Tree Hill gets the kudos for promoting a winning candidate.
All right! But I have final say on strategy.
And I get to check every press release.
Mate, you can stick your commas wherever you like.
Just get me elected.
Isn't this fun coming to Mummy's work in rush hour? Yes, it is! Dr Albert, if you are here today, please report to ED.
Ah.
Gavin, Gavin.
Um, time to brush up on your paediatrics.
This child is dehydrated.
She needs regular obs, 300mls of warm milk, some mashed banana.
And I'd recommend a nap in about half an hour.
Uh, there's a storybook in here.
- Georgia? - Mm-hm.
What's wrong with her? Negligent father.
Dr Albert, when you're ready.
Mr Barami, you must be born under an unlucky star.
At least your complexion's improved since the last time I saw you.
Rafiq? So, ah, you had a turn at the beach? Yeah, it used to happen to me all the time during training.
Why didn't you say? Because it doesn't matter.
You used to lose consciousness during training? Well, no, just head spins.
I mean, this is the very first time that I've ever passed out.
Sober.
But I'm as fit as I've ever been.
Can you organise a cardio consult right away with Dr Coleman? - A cardio? - It's just a precaution.
Hi, I'm Lewis Crabb, and I'm here at St Michael's Hospital, where a young man who, due to a locked council gate, was forced to walk 100m after he collapsed, is now receiving the treatment that he requires.
You, give me the patient.
No, I'm sorry, Nurse.
I'm the campaign manager for Give me the patient now.
Or should I call security? She's not a patient.
She's she's actually my daughter.
She's Dr Albert's daughter? Well, if you want to be technical about it, yeah.
Look, there was just a bit of a mix-up with creche, so Well, then, I should report it to ensure this egregious waste of hospital resources never happens again.
Oh, there's no need for that.
We're all adults here.
(CHUCKLES) Except for the baby.
Oh, please.
Stop selling, Mr Crabb.
I'm not buying.
Okay, thanks.
I'll let him know.
So, good to go? - Not yet.
- What is it? The scan suggests you have arrhythmia.
It's an irregular heartbeat.
What's that mean, like a once off? It could be more serious than that.
We need to do some more tests.
But given your history of dizzy spells, I think it's an ongoing condition.
So what's he need to do to get better? Beta-blockers can help to regulate the heartbeat, otherwise we may need to implant a defibrillator.
The most important thing is to avoid anything that puts undue stress on the heart.
Or what? The good thing is we've found it now.
I did this to him, didn't I? I pushed him too hard.
- Justin, it's not your fault.
- Abi, what is it? There is another issue that affects you and the boys.
I'm really sorry but this condition is genetic.
I would have been better off not knowing and then collapsing on a footy field.
Come on, don't be silly.
You don't mean that.
At least I'd be remembered.
I mean, who remembers the kid who never made it because he had a turn? Great story, Raf.
I don't even have a scar to show for it.
I'm sorry.
Don't be, because I'm not going out like this.
You heard the doc, I can beat it with the drugs.
Yeah, manage it.
Same thing, whatever.
Yeah, I guess I played with guys who had medical problems.
One bloke, I remember, had half a foot.
- Yeah, Davey Cowes, right? - Yeah.
He had a great kick.
That was the other foot, but still You'll bounce back.
(LAID-BACK GUITAR MUSIC) - Am I in trouble? - I don't know, Mark.
Do you deserve to be in trouble? Look, all I said to Toni What's going on with you and Rachel? - Oh, you mean her hormones? - No, I mean with you.
She was here today borrowing your tools.
Or at least that's what she told me.
I told you she was into me.
(LAUGHS) Oh, don't worry, I'm a one-woman man.
Who just happens to be attractive to other women.
I guess that makes me a lucky woman, then, huh? - I guess it does.
- Right.
(BOTH CHUCKLE) What did you tell Toni about Georgia? - I told her she was our child - (GASPS) because she was threatening to call security.
Oh, no! Now she knows I had my kid at the hospital.
I need to call her before this becomes a thing.
Well, more of a thing.
(LAID-BACK GUITAR MUSIC) Stuck again, Dad? Oh, just the usual speed hump, Pops.
What's the product this time? Lewis Crabb.
Pops, what do you think a councillor is? They have them at Mum's work.
They listen to people's problems.
Listening.
Listening is important.
Who would listen to Lewis? What if he gave them something? Like coffee? Hashtag coffee with Crabb.
They talk, he listens.
I like it.
You are a chip off the old block.
Mwah.
Now, I have to make a call.
ABI: It doesn't hurt, boys.
The halter monitor just records your heartbeat over 24 hours.
Why do we have to wear these things? Because the hospital's doing a special study on twins to see if their hearts beat the same.
- Come on.
- Good boy.
Zac.
Justin, you can stop.
Did I pass? Looks like you passed.
No arrhythmia.
What about Rafiq? You mentioned beta-blockers.
Or a defibrillator if they don't work.
Let's say they do, what's to stop him playing footy again? Well, drugs can only do so much.
The more stress Rafiq puts Yeah, yeah, I know you have to give me the worst-case scenario.
But this is me, Abi.
There must be a way he can play footy again.
- Right? - I'm sorry, there's not.
Do you want me to tell him? No, I'll do it.
Do you have a moment to talk about the Local Council elections? No, fair enough.
It's only your future.
Can you pretend you're listening to me? Oh, shouldn't be too hard.
- I'm dying here.
- Aw! Where's my campaign manager? - Hey, Nick - Not now, Lewis.
Oi! I set it to a lower sensitivity.
Oh, I hope not too low.
You don't want to lose all sensation.
Beautiful bike girl.
You know, I think it's the combination of the brainy vibe and the boots.
What does your tattoo say? It says 'wanderlust'.
- Did it hurt? - Can't say.
I was out of it.
- Oh! - Groovy.
Oh, she means rad.
No, I remember 'groovy' and 'rad'.
(LAUGHS) Groovy was fine.
(HORN HONKS) What are you doing? I don't want my campaign turning into a circus! It's called getting your message out.
I see coffee! Mwah! How much is this gonna cost me? You said money was no object.
- Of course it's an object! - Put it on your credit card.
I'm kidding.
A mate did a favour.
I've got contacts, and Twitter.
And by the way, the local press are here today.
You are launching your campaign.
But I haven't got a speech.
Good.
You're supposed to be listening.
Hashtag coffee with Crabb.
What's not to like? - Everybody got a coffee? - Vote 1 Lewis Crabb.
Look, I won't keep you long.
I'm Lewis Crabb and I'm running for Local Council.
I've got no love for politics or politicians, but I do love Nepean South.
And I can't stand by and let this egregious council run it into the ground.
I've lived in this suburb for over 10 years, so I know what affects you, and I think that if we work together, we can build a suburb that we can be proud of.
Yes, we can! Yes, we can! And if you'd like to see Mr Crabb in top flight, make sure you come to the spelling bee where you can see him separating his existentialism from his egalitarianism.
(LIGHT APPLAUSE) I'm not doing that spelling bee.
Your supporters out by your coffee van were clapping.
They're expecting to see you there, you know.
As a voice of the people, Lewis.
I didn't realise public office would be so public.
Oh, toughen up, tiger.
The smaller the prize, the dirtier it gets.
Hmm.
I won't be playing dirty.
Unlike you.
Does that mean you'll do it? Might be a few votes in it.
Do I have a choice? - (PHONE RINGS) - Excuse me.
Heather Looby.
(SIGHS) Felix Digby's broken his other wrist.
Honestly, that child.
Lewis, what are you doing? Looby conned me into the spelling bee.
Well, you can do it.
Just meet me in my classroom after school and I'll give you a few tips.
Maybe.
- You got a moment? - I'm not going anywhere.
Okay.
- So how did the treadmill test go? - Oh Let me guess.
You're all clear.
- You were always so lucky.
- (BANGING) Hey, kids, knock it off.
So how are you holding up? Yeah, good.
Good.
I decided that I'm not gonna let this thing define me.
You know, last night I couldn't sleep, bro.
I was just laying there, thinking about getting on the field again.
Mmm.
And I got that feeling, you know, the spark? I I haven't felt that in months.
Yeah, let's just hope Peta doesn't let you down again.
She can't.
Not twice.
- You had something to say? - Huh? Oh, no.
It was nothing.
(MOANS) (SIGHS) RACHEL: Nick! Where are you, my gorgeous love god? (NICK SNORES) Come here, you.
Huh? (SNORES, GROANS) - Atticus is on the PlayStation.
- (SNORES) He can't hear a thing with those headphones on.
(GROANS) Oh, Rach.
I just need a few more minutes.
(YAWNS) Better be quick.
Just need a little nap on the couch (SNORES) (SNORES) (FOOTSTEPS ABATE) If Tilda asks, don't tell her I was here.
Our secret endeavour.
Easy.
E-N-D Remember chunking.
Just break it into groups of letters.
E-N-D E-A-V O-U-R.
Impeccable.
- Thanks.
- (LAUGHS) Oh, that as well.
Just cut it into syllables.
I-M-P-E-C-C-A-B-L-E.
See, it's perfect.
It's good.
Great work.
MARK: Lewis, give me your phone.
Now, I've set up a Twitter account and I need you to understand how to use it.
Show me.
Well, I want you to use it as a kind of campaign diary, but, you know, throw in a few personal observations of your own.
Like the debacle with Rafiq at the shire park? Hashtag debacle.
Gold Crabb.
What about 'egregious'? Can we use 'egregious'? How do you spell 'egregious'? Egregious, E-G Let's go with 'bad'.
It's strong, it's simple.
Also there's a thing called a hashtag, which allows you to connect with other followers.
The important thing is is that they understand your tweet.
Keep them short, keep them simple.
Okay.
You have a go.
You've tweeted a cat with a bow tie.
Perfect.
GEMMA: Well, describe the cravings.
RACHEL: Constant.
It's all I think about.
One look at him and bang.
Is that weird? No! How strong are they? Oh, strong enough that I ended up at Mark's place.
Mark's place? I borrowed his tools to build flat packs.
I figured if I kept busy it'd keep my mind off things.
Well, distraction therapy definitely helps.
Is there nothing I can take? - I'm afraid not.
- Oh! I'm driving Nick crazy.
Clawing at him the whole time.
I feel so desperate.
Oh, don't.
I was exactly the same.
- Really? - Poor Lewis lost a couple of kilos.
(LAUGHS) On the weekends, he would go fishing to get a break.
(BOTH LAUGH) Wakey-wakey! Rach! What are you doing? Why are you still napping here? - (GROANS) - Come up to our bed.
(SIGHS) Because if I went upstairs, you'd want to Oh, I know, have sex.
I can't keep up.
It's embarrassing.
I feel like I'm rejecting you every time, but I can't.
Honestly, I can't.
I know.
I'm sorry I've been harassing you.
It's these pregnancy hormones.
Gemma's given me a few suggestions.
I will try to restrain myself to twice a day.
(LAUGHS) (UNENTHUSIASTICALLY) Great.
Aside from that, how do you feel about fishing? Hmm? (LAUGHS) Yep.
Hey, Ange, go get the boys, okay? What did the doctor say? They want me to stay in bed for three more days.
Okay.
Well, uh, hang in there.
I gotta go, okay? Ah, I'll speak to you later.
- All right, mate.
- All right, bye.
Dad, Jacob's not getting up! What? Jacob! Jacob! Oi! Hey.
Oi, Jake.
Jake, it's Dad.
What's going on here? We were being robots, like Uncle Raf.
I unplugged Jacob and he short-circuited.
(LAUGHS) Peta, are we still on? Great.
Okay, bye.
Hi! Could you just leave that there? Rafiq's in the bathroom.
Thank you.
I can have them put them back on.
No, no, there should be enough data here.
Looks good.
How good? I'm told perfectly normal rhythm.
(SIGHS) - Yes! We're normal.
- You're not.
Come here, you two.
Come here.
(KISSES) You guys really scared me, you know that.
You have my permission to go crazy at the spelling bee.
Dead in a Rolls-Royce having overeaten again.
- What? - In case I get diarrhoea.
It's a classic spelling bee word.
- It's a memory trick I learnt.
- Hi! - Hi.
- Hi.
Good luck, Daddy.
I'll be fine.
As long as I don't get 'croquembouche'.
Please, Tils, anything but croquembouche.
(GIGGLES) - Hey.
- Hey.
You're trending.
The video I put up, it's getting a lot of likes.
- Yeah.
- So do cat videos.
Um, yeah, so anyway, I thought 'something breezy'.
- Oh, same jackets then.
- (BOTH LAUGH) - Have you seen Nick? - No.
- He's probably hiding somewhere.
- Sorry? Oh, he'll be around somewhere.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
"Crabb will clean up at Nepean South spelling bee.
" Clever.
- (BOTH LAUGH) - It's good, isn't it? Rachel is all over Mark.
- And she's dressed like - Like us.
Is she checking out all of the dads? It's pregnancy.
It's nature's Viagra.
So the only reason she's hitting on Mark is because of hormones? Pretty much.
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed judges, let the bee begin.
Your word is 'eviscerate'.
E-V-I-S-C-E-R-A-T-E.
- (BANG!) - Correct.
Mr Baynie, your word is 'arrhythmia'.
A-R-Y-T Incorrect! Daddy, your word is 'frenvy'.
Um, frenvy isn't a word, darling.
Yes, it is.
I read it online.
It's jealousy of someone you like.
I'll allow it.
Frenvy.
It's obviously a portmanteau.
Uh, F-R-dash-E - (BANG!) - Incorrect! - But it - Incorrect! (APPLAUSE) Lewis Crabb.
(LAUGHS) (APPLAUSE) Daddy, your word is 'profiteroles'.
- Profiteroles? - Yes.
As in, a tower of profiteroles is also known as a croquembouche.
Profiteroles P-R-O F-I-T-E-R O-L-E-S.
Correct! We have a tie break, folks.
Miss Dreyfus, your word is 'tarantula'.
Ahem.
Easy.
T-A-R-A-N-T-U-L-A.
Correct.
Daddy, your word is is 'libarian'.
Could I have that in context, darling? The 'libarian' works at the library.
'Libarian' L-I-B-A-R-I-A-N.
But Miss Looby, 'libarian' isn't a word.
It's pronounced 'librarian'.
Well, you did allow 'frenvy'.
Mr Crabb spelt the word he was given correctly.
We have a tie.
Our winners, folks.
Now we're to have some words of wisdom from Lewis Crabb.
Oh, I'd like to say something.
Vote 1 Lewis Crabb! Thank you very much, Miss Dreyfus.
Who would have thought my maiden political speech would be easier than this spelling bee.
- (LAUGHTER, PHONE DINGS) - But ladies and gentlemen, on a serious note, we have a great community spirit - Raf's in trouble.
- here at Nepean South.
And that was on display today.
And as a community, we can achieve great things.
If you dream it, you can do it.
You and me.
Vote 1 Lewis Crabb.
Warmed up enough? Yep.
Let's do it.
- Set.
- (BLOWS WHISTLE) Raf, stop! Raf! Raf, wait! Hey! Hey, hear me out, please.
- I'm doing this.
- No, you're not.
Yeah? Well, then, stop me.
Oi! Baynie, back off.
He's in the middle of a trial! Stay out of it.
- Mate, it's over.
- Over? - Yeah.
- I've just started.
Your heart, it's serious.
What are you talking about? You can't keep pushing yourself like this anymore.
I'm going to.
Look, you've got your whole life to be great at something else.
- But I'm great at this, Justin! - I know.
- I get it.
- Okay, it's not fair.
I just want to do something that I love doing.
I know.
I get that.
Peta said that she'd take care of me.
She doesn't care about you.
All she cares about is her footy stats.
Them they couldn't care less about how fast you run or how you kick a football.
You matter.
You matter to me.
To all of us.
Just get out of my way, bro.
MARK: I said I was a one-woman man.
You know, I like this new look.
Every day? Who doesn't love a dirty doctor? Maybe just for private consultations.
Want to know what all the fuss is about? I know what all the fuss is about.
(LAUGHS) (MOTORBIKE APPROACHES) IZZY: I thought it was you.
Looks perfect.
Thanks.
And thanks for being such a good sport at the spelling bee.
I owe you one.
Not at all.
It was very sweet of you.
Tilda's a lucky girl.
And Iz, I don't think I'll be taking any tests.
I reckon I'm fine the way I am.
So do I.
I'll see ya.
- (LAUGHTER) - Happy Birthday, mate.
Thank you.
Thanks.
- What is that? - It's a new low-carb boutique beer.
Boutique? What a crock.
- Put that in your campaign material.
- (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) Oh, Izzy.
Thought she'd be more club than pub.
Yeah, me too.
Perfect chance to win a few female votes.
Hello, ladies.
- (GROANS) - Oh, smooth.
I'm Lewis Crabb and I'm running for Local Council.
All right, I better head off.
Got to read the baby a bedtime story.
- It's not even born yet.
- Rachel's idea.
She reckons that it helps with early cerebral stimulation.
(MOTORBIKE ENGINE REVS) Excuse me for a sec.
- See you, lads.
- See ya.
- Hey! - (ENGINES REVS) It doesn't belong to you! Hey! Izzy! What's the go? Is that your bike? - Yep.
- I'll call the cops.
No, no, I don't want the police involved.
I know the guy.
I'll sort it out.
All right, well, if you're sure.
Yeah.
- Is this your local? - Ah, yeah.
I don't really come here much anymore, though.
A special occasion? Yeah, it's, uh my birthday.
Oh, I didn't know.
You should have told me at school.
I don't really like all the fuss, you know.
Happy birthday, Mr Gazecki.
Feel so low