I Didn't Do It (2014) s02e19 Episode Script

The Rescuers

Hey, Linds.
What are you doing out here? I am waiting for Colin from the rescue place.
He's bringing me my next foster dog.
Another dog? I was hoping you'd get something different this time.
Like a llama.
A llama.
A unicorn would also be awesome, but I know they're not real.
Right? Right.
What about those horses with wings? Why don't you make a list of all the animals you're not sure about, and we'll go over them later.
Great.
Hey, Logan, hey, Lindy.
Hi.
Hi, you guys.
So which one is for me? How about all of 'em? Whoa, okay, I can't take four dogs.
Are you sure? It's four times the love.
It's also four times the work, and four times the poop.
She said poop.
Sit down, work on your list.
Okay, wait, so why do you need me to take four dogs? Because unless I can raise $5,000 by the end of the month, - I'm gonna lose the rescue space.
- What? I'm trying to get as many dogs into foster homes in case that happens.
Is there anything I can do besides take four dogs? You have $5,000? I was thinking more like a hug.
Quick question.
How do you spell aardvark? A-a-r Wait.
Two A's? Don't mess with me.
Okay, so we need to raise $5,000 for Lakeside Dog Rescue.
Any ideas? We could do a bake sale; we did one for the math club.
But we only raised, like, $50.
And why was that? Could it be because someone insisted that we only sell square pies The theme was "our pies are square.
" Get it? Pi r squared.
It's math-y.
Yeah.
Any other ideas? I know one way we could raise a bunch of money.
Garrett could sell all his Star Exploders collectibles.
Or How about just selling the lunch boxes? Those are going to my grandchildren.
Okay, the first step to grandchildren is a girlfriend, and the whole lunch box collection kinda cancels that out.
How about a car wash? That's a lot of work.
What about a cat wash? A cat wash? Yeah.
Washing cats to save dogs.
I like the irony.
Okay, you guys, come on.
We gotta think big.
Hey, remember that band I played with on our birthday, the Weasels? Maybe they could do, like, a benefit concert for us.
The Weasels? I've never heard of 'em.
They've been around forever.
They're really popular with old people.
And old people have a lot of money.
I can't wait to be old people.
Do you really think they'll help us? Yeah.
Keith and I have gotten pretty close.
He's been giving me drum lessons, and I help him find his glasses.
Now we just need to find a venue.
And a place to do it.
I can talk to Betty about having it at Rumblejuice.
We've gotten pretty tight.
She hasn't called me a disappointment in two days.
- Who was that? - Owen.
Not taking a call from your boyfriend? Is there trouble in paradise? No, we're fine.
- It's just - What - Nothing.
- Oh, please.
"It's just" is never nothing.
This time it really is nothing.
It's just Oh, no.
- Jazz, what's going on? - Yeah.
Spill it.
Remember those feelings I used to have for Logan? I've kinda been having 'em again.
- What? - What happened to Owen? Nothing.
I still have feelings for him, too.
I don't know what to do.
Break up with Owen is what you do.
Drop him like a bad habit.
Dump him like the stinkin' bag of trash he is.
Deels, how are things with you and Brandon? Not so great.
I'm having issues with my new foster dog.
It's just a bad time for all of us.
I just don't know what to do.
Owen's a great guy.
Logan's a great guy, too.
Owen's really smart.
Logan's a great guy, too.
And the thing is, I don't even know if Logan could ever like me in the girlfriend way.
Maybe he'll always think of me as just a super-cute friend.
So if you did know how Logan felt, would that make your decision any easier? I don't know.
Maybe.
Well, if you break up with Owen, then I'm breaking up with Brandon.
Things are really that bad? We've been disagreeing about a lot of stuff lately.
Like, Brandon sees a future where humans and cyborgs will live together in harmony.
And I see a future where I don't have to look at Brandon's stupid face.
Hey, Betty, I wanted to ask you No.
- You didn't even let me - No.
- Can I even - No.
Betty, can we not have a benefit concert here? - No.
- Thank you.
Wait a minute.
What just happened? I said can we not have a benefit concert here, and you said no, so that means yes.
It's called a double negative.
You used math to confuse Betty? And words.
We're trying to raise money to help dogs.
We even found a band to play and everything.
Okay.
You can have it here, if Betty gets to be in the show.
Uh, it's not a talent show.
It will be when Betty's in it.
- So who's the band? - The Weasels.
Ooh, I love the Weasels.
- I had them on eight track.
- What? - It's what we had before cassettes.
- What? It's what we had before CD's.
What? It's how we listened to our music.
Oh.
Well, everything's digital now.
What? These days, music is downloaded.
What? Hey, Garrett, let me ask you something.
What do you think of my boyfriend? - Brandon? - I know! Isn't he annoying? What's goin' on, Deels? I wanna break up with him, but he's still a sweet guy, and I don't wanna hurt him.
I just hate giving people bad news.
Yeah, me, too.
Don't you wish you could just get someone to deliver bad news for you? That would make life so much easier.
That's a great idea.
You're hired.
- Break up with Brandon for me.
- I can't do that.
- I'll pay you 20 bucks.
- I can do that.
There you are.
I've got big news.
They found a unicorn? No.
Jasmine likes you.
- Are you serious? - Yes.
Wait a minute.
Tell me exactly what she said.
She says she has feelings for you.
I thought you said that she likes me.
It's the same thing.
Wow, this This is amazing.
Wait, what about Owen? They're still together, but Jazz is really confused, and doesn't know what to do.
Oh, great.
Now I'm gonna have to challenge Owen to a duel.
A duel? Yeah, that's not how it works.
For the last 200 years.
Well, that's a relief, 'cause I don't know where my slapping glove is.
You have to talk to Jazz.
I think if she knew that you liked her, it might help her make up her mind.
Boy, for someone who's been such a loser in the love game, you sure know how to play it.
Now I wish I had my slapping glove.
Hey, Garrett, have you seen Delia? We were supposed to meet here.
Yeah, she's not coming.
Have a seat.
Okay, how do I put this? You know when a girl thinks your face looks stupid? What? I'm sorry.
This is my first time doing this.
Let me start over.
Uh, you know how humans and cyborgs will get along in the future? Yes.
Of course.
Delia's dumping you.
What? Look, you and Delia had a lot of nice times together.
- She wouldn't trade that for anything.
- She said that? No, but I'm sure she would if she were here.
And she was a different person.
So she's breaking up with me? Why didn't she tell me herself? She thought it would be easier if I did it.
And it seems to be going pretty well.
Until now.
There, there.
Okay, you're getting snot on my jacket.
Hey, Lindy, you remember Keith Edwards, the drummer for the Weasels.
Of course.
Nice to see you.
Sorry to get your pup all worked up.
My fault for carrying beef jerky in me boot.
You carry beef jerky in your boot? I don't understand the question.
Anyway, thank you so much for doing the benefit for us.
This is really gonna make a difference for a lot of dogs.
Actually, I just popped round to tell you that me mates had a bit of an argy-bargy evening last.
Jimmy bounced Robbie for hittin' on his toddy.
I have no idea what you just said.
He said he stopped by to tell us that his friends had a fight last night.
Jimmy accused Robbie of flirting with his girlfriend.
- How do you know that? - Hello.
English is my second language.
Long story short, the band broke up.
- What about the benefit? - Give us a few weeks.
We'll be back together again.
We don't have a few weeks.
Where are we gonna find a band by Friday? Come on, Logan, what about your band? I'm not in a band.
You should be.
When I was your age, the Weasels had already broken up ten times.
Well, gotta run.
Sorry, kids.
What are we gonna do? I don't know.
I wish I was in a band.
That'd be an easy solution.
Hey, maybe you are in a band.
I am? Are we any good? I guess we'll find out.
What are you talking about? I can sing, Jazz plays a little bass, Garrett plays guitar.
And Delia took piano lessons.
All we need is a drummer.
I'll wait.
Oh! Yeah.
Great news! Band's back together.
Scratch that.
Just broke up again.
Cheerio.
Owen, thanks for being so understanding.
It just didn't feel right for us to be together if I'm having feelings for Logan.
I get it.
No one likes getting dumped, but I get it.
You're such a great guy.
And you're right about that.
So I guess this is good-bye.
I know this might not make you feel any better right now, but I'm sure another girl will come along who's just right for you.
Whoa.
Didn't think it'd happen that fast.
There's my hero.
Thanks to you, I haven't heard from Brandon since we broke his heart.
You know why you haven't heard from him? Because he won't leave my side.
He's not by your side right now.
Only because he went to the bathroom, and I made a break for it.
Up to then, it's been all whimpering, whining, and cyborg talk.
I can't take it anymore.
Wow, did I dodge a bullet.
Now you have to break up with him for me.
Dude, that's not how these things work.
- What things? - The things I don't wanna do.
I can't break his heart again.
Then you're gonna have to find someone to do it for you, someone who doesn't care about other people's feelings.
You're telling me it's too smooth? It's called a smoothie.
When you go out for breakfast, you don't say the pancakes are too cake-y.
You know what? Get outta my store.
Found her.
- Garrett's breaking up with you.
- What? You and Garrett are no longer friends.
He's moving on with his life.
No more sleeping at the foot of his bed, no more snottin' up his jacket.
So I don't have Delia or Garrett? Or me.
I don't think I should be alone right now.
Lucky for you, the world is filled with people.
Next.
Welcome, everyone, and thanks for coming out to support the Lakeside Dog Rescue.
My name's Delia, and I'll be your emcee tonight.
So dogs are man's best friend.
Woman's best friend? A charge card.
Okay.
Maybe I shouldn't have used a joke book from the 1950's.
Now please welcome The Amazing Betty.
I will now cut my nephew Kevin in half.
Cut me in half? We didn't talk about this.
This is something I've wanted to do to many, many, many members of my family.
Get me outta here.
I'm The Amazing Betty.
Wait.
You have to put me back together.
I haven't learned that part yet.
Hey, I need new shoes.
Thank you, The Amazing Betty.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Weasels could not be here tonight.
But we have a brand-new band making their performing debut.
Please welcome Oh, my gosh.
We forgot to name ourselves.
Keep going.
We'll do it later.
Introducing Keep Going, We'll Do It Later.
I just want to say thank you so much to everyone for your generous donations.
We've almost reached our goal.
And now, we're gonna play a song called "Count On Me.
" Need any help? Oh, no, thanks.
I got it.
You were great tonight.
Thanks.
So were you.
Hey, I didn't see Owen out there.
Yeah, he didn't come.
Why not? It seems like your boyfriend would wanna come see you perform.
Well, he's not my boyfriend anymore.
I'm sorry.
What? We broke up.
But yesterday, I saw you guys hugging in the hallway.
We were saying good-bye.
Oh.
Would you like to know why we broke up? Yeah.
I told him I couldn't stop thinking about someone else.
Oh.
That someone else is you.
Oh! Then I guess I should tell you what I was gonna tell you yesterday.
Do you wanna hear it? I, uh I can't stop thinking about you either.
Jazz I think I'm in love with you.
Then I think you should put down that snare drum.
Looks like they approve.
So now that you guys are a couple, I guess that means Lindy and I have to battle it out for Garrett.
- Really? - No.
Well, it was a good couple of seconds.
Oh, my gosh.
We raised enough money to save the Rescue! - Yay! - Awesome! I'm not surprised.
You kids were really good tonight.
You should keep going with that band.
Betty, I don't know if we've ever said this to you, but we're really glad you took over this place.
I like having you around, too.
Especially since you buy so many smoothies.
I'm shopping for a boat.
Hey, how'd you finally get Kevin out of that box? Kevin! I think Betty's right.
We should keep the band going.
- We'd have to learn another song.
- And come up with a name.
How about the Delia Delfano Experience? Garrett and Friends? Jasmine Loves Logan.
Logan Loves Jasmine.
Aww.
And no.
Hey, how about the Rescuers? Because we rescued the dogs.
Works for me.
The Rescuers.
- I like it.
- Me, too.
Okay, Rescuers.
Group hug.
And thank you so much for being my friends.
I love you guys.
We love you, too, Linds.
All right, let's get outta here.
The Rescuers featuring Delia Delfano.
Huh? There's one in every band.
Dad.

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