I Love Lucy (1951) s02e16 Episode Script

Lucy Goes to the Hospital

("I love Lucy" theme song playing) (baby talk) (baby talk) (sighs) Oh, sweet little thing.
(kissing) (doll squeaks) (doll squeaks) (doll squeaks) (kissing) Coochie-coochie-coochie- coochie-coochie-coochie-coochie.
(doll squeaks) (doll squeaking) (doll squeaking) Hi, hon Oh, hi.
Hey, what are you doing up so late? Oh, I've been busy.
It's after 2:00- you got to get your rest.
You're sleeping for two now, you know.
I know, but this is very important.
See, the doctor gave me this book and it's all about infant care, and you have to practice with a doll, so you know everything there is to do before the baby gets here.
Oh.
You have to practice, too.
Really? Yeah.
Isn't it cute? (chuckles) Is this, uh little Scott or Pamela Ricardo? Scott or Pamela Do you really like those names, Ricky? Now, Lucy! For weeks we've been going over and over and over thousands of names.
I'm so confused, I don't know what my name is.
Now, last night we decided finally, both of us, that the baby's name is going to be Scott if it's a boy and Pamela if it's a girl.
I know, I know, but I went over those names today, and they just don't go with Ricardo.
All right, then, let's change Ricardo.
That'd be easier.
No.
Now, look, this is nothing to joke about, Ricky.
It's a terrible thing to go through go through life with the wrong name- the poor little baby.
All right, all right.
What are their names now? Gregory or Joanne.
Good, Gregory or Joanne.
Isn't Gregory a beautiful name? Yeah, honey, beautiful, uh-huh.
So is Joanne.
Joanne Jo-anne Ricky, do you really think Joanne Gregory or Joanne! Now, Lucy, I don't care what you name the baby, but we got to get it settled.
Well, I'm not going to settle on just any old thing.
I want the names to be unique and euphonious.
Okay, Unique if it is a boy, and Euphonious if it is a girl.
For your information, those are not names, they're words.
Well, they're the prettiest ones you've mentioned yet.
How about Gregory if it's a boy and and Cynthia if it's a girl? That's fine, honey.
Still, I always liked the name Philip for a boy.
How about Philip for a boy And Morris if it's a girl? Oh, Ricky! Now, honey, forget about the names.
You're gonna go to bed, come on.
No, I'm not, not till we get this settled.
I'll sleep late in the morning.
Lucy, you're going to bed.
No, no, honest, I'll go back to bed right after I get your breakfast.
You're not going to get my breakfast.
Who is? I am, and what's more, I'm going to get your breakfast, too.
Oh, really? Absolutely.
There's nothing too good for the mother of my child.
(laughing): Oh, honey! Come on, honey, you got to take it easy.
Now, come on, you got to go to bed.
Come on.
Okay.
(sighs) Oh, Ricky! I've got the perfect names, something very simple: John or Mary.
That's fine, honey.
John or Mary.
Oh, I'm glad that's settled.
Good.
Ricky? Ricky? Good morning, honey.
Good morning.
Just getting ready to cook you breakfast.
Oh, I forgot about that.
Well.
(chuckles) Are you hungry? Oh, starved.
After all, I'm eating for me and little Romeo or Juliet.
Romeo or Juliet? Yeah.
Aren't they beautiful names? What happened to John and Mary? Well, I got to thinking last night- Mary's all right, but every Tom, Dick and Harry's named John.
All right, I give up.
What do you want for breakfast? Oh How about waffles? Oh, no, honey, don't bother.
But you like them so much.
Oh, but they're too much trouble.
Well, won't be any trouble for you.
You just stay right here and take it easy, and I'll take care of everything.
Oh! I want you to have your favorite breakfast: waffles.
Okay.
I'll have them for you in a jiffy.
All right.
You just stay there and rest now.
I will, dear.
All right.
(sighs) Lucy? Yeah? Where's the waffle iron? It's in that cabinet under the sink.
Oh.
It's not there, honey.
Are you sure, dear? Yeah.
Did you look way in the back? Yeah, I looked all over the place.
Not there.
Well, I must have put it up here.
Hey, honey, wait, wait! Honey, you can't climb up that.
You're supposed to be resting.
Okay.
I know I saw it around here this morning someplace.
Ricky! Oh, there it is! Yeah.
What are you trying to do, start a fire? Honey, I didn't even see it.
I just plugged the coffeepot Oh.
Well, uh, you go on to bed.
I'll fix you waffles.
Okay.
Lucy? Yeah? Where's the waffle mix? It's in that cupboard with the flour and the cereals.
I know, honey, it isn't there.
Are you sure? Yeah, honey, I looked all over the place.
You looked up in here behind the cans? I looked up in there and every place, it's not there.
Well, I don't know where else it could be.
What's this? Oh, waffle mix.
Yeah.
How did that get there? Magic.
Lucy? Where's the salt? Ricky, do me a favor, will you? Don't cook breakfast for me this morning.
I'm not strong enough.
Hi, Rick.
Oh, hiya, Fred.
What're you doing? Well, I was I was cooking breakfast for Lucy.
Attaboy, we got to take care of Lucy and little Fred.
Well, uh, don't count on the baby being called Fred.
She's changed her mind every three seconds.
Naturally.
That's because she's gonna have a baby.
Do they all act that way? Of course.
Expectant mothers are the most unpredictable creatures in the world.
Yeah, well, Lucy sure is.
You know, I got up this morning and I offered to cook her waffles.
And then suddenly, for no reason at all, she said she doesn't want me to cook her breakfast.
Oh? I'm telling you, being an expectant father is pretty tough on a man.
Yeah, but you got to go along with it.
Sure.
In a minute or so, she'll probably say that she wants breakfast.
So, I'll just forget her unpredictable behavior and turn the other chick.
Chick? Yeah.
Is that what you're having for breakfast? Chick, chick- the outside of your face.
Oh cheek! That's what I said.
You want to help me? Sure, I'll help you.
Get me some milk and some eggs there, will you? Sure.
Lucy? Hi.
Hi! Having breakfast in bed! Yeah.
Ricky and Fred cooked waffles for me this morning.
They did? How were they? Well, I don't know.
You want to try one? How could they serve you a thing like that? They said this one turned out better than the others.
Oh, no.
Yeah, they explained that the charcoal would be good for the baby's teeth.
I suppose they left a few dishes in the kitchen.
Come on, let's see.
Okay.
Oh, Lucy! Now, you think they'd get one good waffle out of all this.
Oh, well.
I'll help you clean it up.
Whoo! Ho, hum.
This is a fine way for you to rest.
Oh, I really don't mind.
Ricky meant well.
It's just the idea that counts.
Yeah.
This shows how much he loves me.
You know, it's amazing the way he fusses over me and takes care of me since we've been expecting the baby.
Well, that's one thing you can be sure of.
Ricky really loves you all right.
Yeah.
Ethel.
What? Now that I think of it, he never treated me this nice when it was just me.
What do you mean? It's just the baby he loves.
Oh, don't be silly.
It is, it's little Sharon or Pierrepont.
That's all that counts.
Oh, Lucy, you're just being crazy.
I am not.
You are, too.
He's only taking care of me because of the baby.
He doesn't love me.
Now, Lucy I don't count at all.
After the baby's born, I'll just be forgotten.
Oh, that's not true.
It is so true.
I'll be just like a salmon.
I'll swim upstream, spawn, and never be heard from again! ETHEL (whispering): Ricky? Ricky? Oh, hi, Ethel.
Where have you been? I've been trying to get hold of you all afternoon.
Oh, I was out shopping all day.
I brought Lucy some presents.
Lucy? Oh, thank goodness for that.
Why, what's the matter? She's been moping around all day.
She's got a crazy idea that instead of being Hi, honey.
(coldly): Hello.
I- I-I brought some presents for you.
For me? Yeah.
Here, honey.
Open that one.
Just what I've always wanted.
It's a rattle.
Yeah.
Here, honey, open that one.
Does this do anything for me, Ethel? Now, Lucy.
Honey, it's for the baby.
Oh, yes, of course.
I should've rea Oh, oh, then, these are for me.
No, no, honey, those are for the baby, too.
You don't seem to get the idea.
I get the idea all right.
Thanks for the presents.
(wails) Well, now, what's the matter? I can't figure her out these days.
She's upset; she thinks all you care about is the baby and that you don't love her anymore.
Why, that's ridiculous.
Only this morning I fixed her breakfast in bed.
That's because she's gonna have a baby.
She wants you to do something for her.
What do you mean? Well, why don't you take her out for an evening? Take her dining, take her dancing.
Dancing? In her condition? Sure.
Why not? Well, all right, if you think it's the thing to do.
Sure, I'd love to take her out dining and dancing.
I'll take her down to the club tonight.
Oh, that's great.
Uh, why don't you take another couple along? You know, just to make it a real happy foursome? Anyone special you have in mind? We'd love to.
Lucy? Yeah? This just came for you.
For me? It looks like a corsage.
Sure, open it.
Oh, Ethel, look! It's an orchid.
Oh, isn't it beautiful? Listen to this: "My darling, no flower I could send would be half as lovely as you.
" I wonder who it's from.
Isn't it signed? Yeah, it says Ricky, but Ricky who? Ricky Ricardo.
Oh.
Well, then it must be for the baby.
Now, Lucy, stop being silly.
You know this is for you.
For little old me? I mean, little old big me? (buzzer sounds) Mrs.
Ricardo? Yes? A package for you.
Thank you.
Ethel, look, candy! Oh, boy.
"Darling, sweets to the sweet.
Devotedly, lover boy.
" Aw, isn't that cute? I wonder who this is from.
Now, Lucy Well, I suppose it's from Ricky.
You know darn well it is.
Well, it could be from somebody else, you know, except that I happen to recognize his handwriting, and I don't know any other lover boy.
(phone rings) Hello? Hello, sweetheart.
How's my beautiful girl? Uh what number were you calling, please? Lucy, this is me- lover boy.
Who is it? Who is it? It's the same crazy fool that sent the flowers and candy.
What were you calling about, please? I just miss you, that's all.
Do you? Yeah.
I want to talk to you.
How are you? Oh, I'm fine.
How are you? Fine, honey.
Listen, I hate to think of not seeing you tonight.
So, why don't you come down to the club and have dinner with me, huh? He wants me to come down to the club and have dinner with him.
Oh, I'd love to, dear.
Good.
I'll get a nice ringside table and you can stay afterwards and we can dance for a while.
And dancing afterward.
Oh, that would be wonderful, darling.
Good.
You want to ask Fred and Ethel to be with us? Okay.
Ethel We'd love to.
You'd love to what? I haven't asked you anything yet.
Oh, uh, well, uh, what were you going to ask me? Would you like to go with us? Yes, we'd love to.
They'd love to.
Good.
I'll see you around 8:00, huh? All right.
Good-bye, angel.
Good-bye, sweetheart.
I love you.
He loves me.
Me! (slow dance music playing) (music) (music) (music ends) (applause) Oh, isn't this fun? I haven't been dancing in ages.
Oh, we ought to do this more often.
Oh, boy, I love to dance, but I haven't danced in a while.
I'm a little out of condition.
A little out of condition? He puffs so much, it's like dancing with a steam engine.
(laughs) Steam engines always puff when they're pushing a heavy load.
Is that so? Now, listen, Fred Now, now, now, wait a minute, you two, no bickering.
I'm having a wonderful time.
I don't want anything to spoil this evening.
We're not bickering, that's how we make love.
(orchestra begins playing "Dancing Cheek to Cheek") Lucy, this is our dance.
Oh, do you mind, Ethel? No.
Go ahead, trip the heavy fantastic.
Ethel I got to hand it to you.
You sure were right.
Yeah.
All she wanted was a little attention.
She's so happy.
Yeah.
Listen.
Do you think Fred will mind if I cut in on him? This is our favorite number.
No, go ahead.
May I? Heaven I'm in heaven And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak And I seem to find the happiness I seek When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek Heaven I'm in heaven And the cares that hung around me Through the week Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek Oh, I love to climb a mountain And to reach the highest peak But it doesn't thrill me half as much As dancing cheek to cheek Oh, I love to go out fishing On a river or a creek Yeah, man! I don't enjoy it half as much As dancing cheek to cheek Dance with me I want my arms around you The charm about you Will carry me through Heaven I'm in heaven And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak And I seem to find the happiness I seek When we're out together dancing Cheek to cheek.
(song ends, crowd applauds) Oh, isn't this fun? You were the handsomest couple on the floor.
Well, that's because I was dancing with my lovely wife.
Honey, what's the matter? ETHEL: Oh, she's crying 'cause she's so happy.
Are you? No.
Honey, what's wrong? You haven't mentioned the baby once tonight.
You don't love little Robert or Madelyn.
(bell chiming) (chiming) ("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) WGBH access.
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org I Love Lucy is a Desilu production.

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