I Love Lucy (1951) s06e16 Episode Script

Lucy Hates to Leave

Gee, Ethel, this place has been in such a mess for the last two weeks, I bet you'll be glad to get rid of us.
Aw, Lucy, how can you be like that? We just loved having you.
Thank you, dear.
This the last of it, ma'am? Yes, that's it.
Thank you.
Honey, we'll take these two bags in the car, huh? Okay.
Car? What car? Oh, didn't Ricky tell you? We rented a station wagon to use in the country till we get settled.
Station wagon, huh? Pretty snappy.
Yeah, I'm going to be a regular country square.
Honey, it's country squire.
Well, whatever it is, you know, we're gonna be real suburbaneeties.
Suburbaneeties? He means "suburbanites.
" Oh.
I just hope we can cross the border into Connecticut without a passport.
Oh, never mind.
Get your coat, honey.
It's time for us to go.
Remember now, you two, no more bawling.
That's right, Lucy.
This isn't good-bye.
It's just toodle-oo.
Yeah.
Toodle-oo (wailing) Oh, no, there she goes again.
Come on now, honey, buck up.
RICKY: Yeah, honey, they'll come out and see us real soon.
Well, I hope so.
Look, Ethel, here's the key to our house.
You two feel free to use it any time.
Our house is your house.
Oh, thank you, honey.
FRED: Thanks, Lucy.
And here's a key to this apartment.
You use it any time you're in town.
Our apartment is your apartment.
Oh, thank you, Ethel.
Thank you, Ethel.
Thanks, Fred.
That's very nice of you.
Well, come on, Little Ricky.
Okay, Mommy.
We're ready.
Okay, sweetheart.
Aw, good-bye, little doll.
Mmm And good-bye, Freddie.
Bye, Lucy.
Good-bye, Ethel.
I mean, toodle-oo.
Well I guess this is it, Fred, huh? Rick, old man, I sure hate to see you go, not just because you paid your rent on time but because you've been a wonderful friend.
Thank you, Fred.
You've been kind of wonderful yourself.
Thank you, Ricky.
We sure had a wonderful 15 years.
FRED: We sure did.
Well so long, everybody.
Lucy? (wailing): I don't want to go.
RICKY: Honey, get ahold of yourself there.
Yes, now.
You just march right through that door and don't look back.
I'm proud of you, Ethel.
You, you, you didn't even whimper.
(wailing) Well, now, honey, isn't this a wonderful house? Boy, I'll say.
Come on, Fred, I'll show you the kitchen.
Show him where he's gonna sleep.
There you are.
Well, it's nice being of service to you, Mr.
Ricardo.
I hope you folks enjoy your new home.
Thank you very much.
Thanks a lot.
(contented sigh) Well, here we are.
No more tears, honey? Oh, no.
I'm fine now that we're here.
Gee, isn't this exciting? We're in our very own home.
The first house we ever had.
Our first house.
Come here.
Where you going? Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here.
What are you doing, honey? LITTLE RICKY: Hey! Why are you doing that, Daddy? Well, you see, that's a It's a tradition, son.
When, uh whenever you bring someone you love into a new home, you carry them across the threshold.
And that is the threshold.
See? Oh.
That's a very sweet thing to do, honey.
Come on, Fred, I'll show you my room.
Yeah, show him your room.
RICKY: Isn't that sweet? Oh, gee, honey, I just can't believe we're really here.
You know, we should be awfully happy in this house.
It's so quiet and peaceful.
Yeah, no noise.
No dust.
No traffic.
No Mertzes.
Oh, now, now.
(knock at door) Package for Mr.
and Mrs.
Ricardo.
Oh, isn't that nice? Thank you.
Wait a minute.
Here.
Here you are.
Thanks.
Welcome to Westport.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Isn't that nice? Who could have sent that? There's a card there, I think.
"Lots of happiness in your new home from your dear friends, Fred and Ethel.
" Oh, how about that? Oh, wasn't that sweet of them? Oh, boy, this must have set Fred back ten bucks.
You know, they must feel just as sad as we do.
Sad? For Fred to spend $10 on a basket of fruit, he must have been hysterical.
Where are you going, honey? I'm gonna call up and thank them right now.
Well, honey, the phone is not connected.
Oh, that's right.
Hey, let's drive in and thank them right now.
Drive in? We just drove out.
We got a lot of unpacking to do, honey.
Let's get going.
Yeah, you're right.
Where should we start? Well, let's start right here.
Oh, boy.
After all that unpacking, I can sure use a good night's sleep.
Me, too.
Hey, we ought to sleep real good here- no city noises.
Yeah, it should be nice and quiet for a change.
Good night, honey.
Good night.
You think I'd better put another blanket on Little Ricky's bed? Oh, no, honey.
The furnace keeps this house nice and warm.
Okay.
(laughing) What are you laughing at? This is the first time in 15 years that I haven't had to call Fred and ask him for more heat.
(laughs) Oh, that's right.
Oh, Fred and Ethel, I sure do miss them.
Now, now, honey.
Good night.
Good night.
(sighing) Ricky? Huh? Are you asleep? No.
It sure is quiet out here.
Yeah, nice and quiet.
I never heard so much quiet.
Well, you'll get used to it.
Good night.
If you ask me, it's a little too quiet.
I know what you mean.
I wish a taxi would go by or something.
Or a fire engine.
One of those lovely, rattly garbage trucks.
Well, let's try to get some sleep, dear.
Good night.
Ricky? Yeah? This quiet is so loud, I can't sleep.
Well, force yourself.
(pattering) (clatter) What's that? I don't know.
(pattering) (clatter) Move over.
(pattering) (clatter) What is that? Well, it sounds like a squirrel on top of the roof.
I think.
A squirrel? I think.
LITTLE RICKY: Mommy! Daddy! What's the matter, son? I'm scared.
Scared? Well, it's nothing to be scared of.
Move over, Daddy.
Move over, dear.
What have you got in there? Fred.
He's scared, too.
Oh, dear.
Aw He's got Fred with him.
Oh Come on, Fred.
Fred.
Lie down, Fred, now, come on.
Everybody go to sleep now.
Come on, Fred.
Isn't it funny how you get used to sleeping around noise? Yeah.
They say it's even better when you get used to sleeping around quiet.
Maybe I could sleep better if you took up snoring.
How can I take up snoring if I can't fall asleep? Well, you sure got a point there.
Ah, well Hey, we sure could use some help around here.
We sure could use some help.
Ethel! Honey, Ethel is not there anymore.
Oh, my goodness, I forgot.
Well, after 15 years, it's kind of hard to break a habit.
What's in this box here? That's Ricky's stuff- books and toys and things- they go upstairs.
Oh, this is heavy.
Oh, I'll help you, dear.
No, it's too heavy for you to carry, honey.
I'll just go across the hall and get Fred isn't over there anymore, either.
I forgot, too.
Come on, help me in the kitchen, honey.
All right.
I'll be right there, honey! Who are you talking to? I thought I heard Lucy calling me.
Oh, good grief, Ethel.
Get hold of yourself.
They've gone, so we'll just have to get used to it.
I know.
Yeah.
Hey, there's a great fight at the Garden Saturday night.
I wonder who could get me some passes.
Where were you going? No place.
Oh, yes, you were.
You were going over to see Ricky, weren't you? Certainly not.
I was going around to see Mrs.
Trumbull.
Oh, sure, Mrs.
Trumbull always has passes to the fights.
You don't have the monopoly on missing people, you know.
Oh, dear.
Aw, there, there, honeybunch.
Oh, I know Harry, it was so nice of you to invite Little Ricky to stay overnight at your house.
Oh, he and Billy will have a great time.
I'm sure they will.
Now, you be a good boy, sweetheart, and mind Mrs.
Munson.
Yes.
All right, sweetheart.
RICKY: Good luck.
Have a good time.
Bye-bye, darling.
Bye! Bye! HARRY: Good night.
Now, don't worry about him.
We'll take good care of him.
Okay.
All right.
(sighs) (sighs) Well, here we are.
Yup, here we are.
Just the two of us, all alone in the country.
Yup, all alone in the country.
What do we do, all alone in the country? I don't know.
I got an idea.
What? Let's go to the city.
Go to the city? What are we going to do there? Well, we could have dinner and maybe see a show and and if we have time, or just happen to be in the neighborhood we're going to see the Mertzes! What do you think we're gonna do? Hey, that's a wonderful idea.
I'll check the train schedules.
Okay.
Gee, I'm dying to see them.
I wonder if they've changed.
Changed? We only left them a day and a half ago.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, we missed that train, but there's another one in two hours.
Well, let's drive.
No, I think it's going to snow.
I don't want to take a chance.
We'll leave the car at the station and call them from there to see if they're home.
Did you find a good movie? No, there's nothing around.
Oh.
Well, you want to watch some television? Not tonight.
Want to play some gin rummy? Uh-uh.
I don't feel like it.
(sighs) Well, I suppose we could just sit and talk.
Okay.
Who will we talk to? To each other.
Oh, come now, Ethel.
Well, there must be something we can do.
Fred, are you willing to be a good sport? What are you suggesting? Let's go out to the country and see the Ricardos.
Ethel, that's the greatest idea you ever had.
I'll check and see if they're home.
Oh, no, don't call them.
Let's surprise them.
They're bound to be home.
Where would you go in the country? I'll look up the schedule and see what time the next train goes.
Ooh, it's so windy.
It's cold, too.
You call the Mertzes.
I'm going to fix my hair.
It's a mess.
All right, dear.
(train bell ringing, wind whistling) Some wind, huh? Yeah.
Hey, we'd better call the Ricardos.
Oh, no, let's take a taxi and surprise them.
Now, listen, I spent two bucks on taxi fare to Grand Central, $6.
16 on train tickets.
Isn't that surprise enough? Come on, ask him to drive over and to pick us up.
Oh, all right.
Somebody's using the phone.
Um, mister, is there another phone around here? CLERK: There's one out on the platform.
ETHEL: Thank you.
I'll be right back.
FRED: All right.
(wind whistling) Well, what'd they say? They're not home.
Not home? Oh, the operator must have been ringing the wrong number.
No.
That's what I thought at first.
I asked her to ring it again and nobody answered.
Oh, what'll we do now? Go home and go back to sleep.
At 8:30? Listen, I didn't get any sleep last night listening to that quiet.
Oh (wind whistling) Well? I couldn't use the phone.
Some teenager was talking to her girlfriend about that Elvis what's-his-name.
You can use that phone over there now.
Fred, you call them.
I want to fix up just a little, huh? All right.
Oh, how do you like that? Well, a flat tire.
Well, call a garage.
Somebody using the phone.
Oh.
Have you got a garage out here that I can call? I got a flat tire.
Yeah, but they all close at 6:00.
Oh, dear.
How are we gonna get home? Hey, you're in luck, mister.
A cab just drove up.
Oh, good.
Come on, honey.
Thank you.
I'll take care of the car in the morning.
From the back, that man looks just like Fred Mertz.
You're lonesomer than I thought.
Well? Well, first the operator couldn't find their number, and then she discovered that their phone hasn't been connected yet.
Then we'll have to take a taxi.
Well, okay.
Mister, where's the cab stand? Right out there.
The cab just left.
Good.
What do you mean, good? Well, it's not far.
We can walk.
Walk? It's cold out there! Walking in the cold air is very healthy.
Since when? Since now.
Come on.
Oh, Fred.
I can open it.
Good thing she gave me a key.
Yeah.
Ethel, the car is not in the garage, the house is dark- they're not home.
Why are we coming in? To wait for them.
What else do you suggest? We'll walk back to the station and go home.
Walk way back there?! Over my dead body.
Don't tempt me, Ethel.
Oh, pooh.
Gee, the place is shaping up nicely.
Yeah, isn't it? There's that basket of fruit we sent them.
Yeah.
Well, we might as well get some return on our investment.
That wind makes it seem kind of spooky out here, doesn't it? It certainly does.
Gee, these new shoes hurt.
When you spend $16 for shoes, they're not supposed to hurt.
You don't buy $16 shoes for comfort, you buy them for looks.
Then you ought to walk on your hands so people can see your feet.
Oh, dry up, will you? Sure.
Ooh Ah-ha.
(thud) (grunts) (thud) Ricky.
Hmm? Ricky.
Hmm? Ricky, wake up.
Yes, what? I heard something downstairs.
What? I heard something downstairs.
You must have been dreaming, then.
No, I distinctly heard a noise downstairs.
It's the wind.
There's a lot of wind outside.
Would the wind blow the lights on? What, the lights? The lights are on.
The lights downstairs? We got burglars.
Burglars, honey? Come on.
Yeah? Shh! Did you hear that? Yeah.
What was it? There's someone upstairs.
It must be a burglar.
Let's get out of here.
(groaning) It must have been your imagination.
I just forgot to turn out the lights, that's all.
Did you forget to turn out the fruit? See, someone has been here.
Maybe they're outside.
(whispering): Get the flashlight.
(wind whistling) (whispering): Come on, I think he's gone.
Hurry up, Fred.
(rustling) (wind whistling) It's so cold.
Well, honey, if anybody was here, they're gone.
Maybe they were just hungry or something.
Yeah, maybe that's right.
(key rattling in door) Go get 'em, Ricky, go get 'em.
I don't want to go get them.
Well, you were looking for 'em.
Yeah, but I didn't want to find them.
Hide in there.
(wind whistling) This is the most ridiculous thing I've heard of.
I paid 16 bucks for those shoes and we're not leaving them here.
Hurry up! (wind whooshing, door slamming) (gasps) (yells) (scuffling and bumping) FRED: Out of my way, Ethel! Out of my way, Ethel! Ethel?! Ethel! Ethel! Lucy! RICKY: Fred! ETHEL: Ricky! Oh, my goodness.
We thought you were burglars.
We were just coming in to visit you.
Oh, honey, we came out here to see you and surprise you.
We missed We missed you so.
Oh, Lucy, we missed you so much.
Oh, there they go again.
(both crying and talking at once) (applause) (closing orchestral flourish playing) ANNOUNCER: "I Love Lucy", starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, was brought to you by new Lilt, the only home permanent with squeeze-bottle magic.
the fastest, easiest home permanent ever.
("I Love Lucy" theme song playing) "I Love Lucy" is a Desilu Production.
Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz will be back next week at this same time.

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