Justice League Action (2016) s01e13 Episode Script

Trick or Threat

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) (CHILDREN LAUGHING) CHILDREN: Trick or treat? CAIN: Ah, the simple joys of Halloween.
Good evening.
My name is Cain.
Story teller and caretaker of The House of Mystery.
(THUNDER RUMBLING) Oh, but of course, you know The House of Mystery.
It's that old, dark ruin, at the end of the street that you would swear wasn't there the last time you looked.
See what I mean? (THUNDER RUMBLING) (CAIN LAUGHS) The house appears and vanishes of its own accord.
Collecting all that is terrifying and bizarre, within its walls.
Those who enter it's doorway are forever changed by the experience.
As those tykes over yonder, will soon learn.
(MANIC LAUGHTER) CHILDREN: Thank you! Happy Halloween.
- I got a chocolate bar.
- I got a bag of taffy.
I got a popcorn ball.
I got a rock Candy stick.
Mmm.
Bit of all right, actually.
That's the best house so far.
I know.
What were those weirdoes down the street thinking? Giving us toothbrushes.
Lex has got a sick sense of humor.
Though, it is gratifying to see adults concerned with pre-teen oral hygiene.
We're still egging their house.
Oh, definitely.
BULLY: Okay, wimpoid.
Give! No.
Please.
PANTHER BOY: Leave me alone.
Why don't you make us? KID BATMAN: How about we make you? Looky here, four more bags of candy, free for the taking.
Candy? What candy? - Where did it go? - Where there was one, there are now two.
But, remember what your doctor says, - "Too much candy is bad for your tummy.
" -(GRUNTING) Seems you lads are having a bit of hard luck, here's some more.
- Huh? - Huh? Run.
- (SCREAMING) - (GRUNTING) Give me back my horse shoes, you chaps.
Whoa, did we just do that? These costumes are oddly empowering.
PANTHER BOY: That was awesome! You guys are just like the real Justice League.
Batman, Zatanna, Dr.
Fate and you.
PANTHER BOY: You're John Constantine.
Good eye, mate.
I didn't even have to show my collection of lucky charms.
We need heroes, tonight.
Those bullies have been ripping off the whole neighborhood.
Not just candy.
But bikes, video games, you name it.
That's where they store their stolen loot.
(THUNDER CLAPPING) There's never a key around, when you want to get into a spooky old house.
Master, we've done as you commanded.
Please release us.
Return to your true forms.
(SQUEAKING) (THUNDER CRACKING) We could bash open the door.
Maybe we should just tell an adult.
Or we could bash open the door.
With any luck, the noise scared the bejeebers out of those punks.
Did he really just say, "Bejeebers?" (GIGGLES) He totally said, "Bejeebers.
" It's true.
The bullies are gone.
But you four will be staying.
Hello.
What's all this? It's the scary part, kiddies.
Some of you may want to close your eyes.
(ALL CHILDREN SCREAMING) (MONSTERS ROARING) (SNARLS) Confidentially, I can't stand to look either.
(GRUNTS) (MONSTERS GROWLING) In here! (SNARLS) (GRUNTS) (SCREAMING) - (MONSTERS GROWLING) - (CHILDREN PANTING) (CHILDREN SCREAMING) Now, this is what I call Halloween.
(LAUGHS) (SHRIEKS) Is that us? Somehow, I know that's a mirror of truth.
It shows things as they really are.
KID DR.
FATE: Somehow, I know that too.
Blimey! We don't just look like the Justice League.
KID BATMAN: We are the Justice League.
I too, am a familiar face.
(CHILDREN GASPING) Klarion, the Witch Boy.
He's been a mystic threat to the Justice League for years.
We have had our fun, haven't we? But tonight, the game ends, for you.
It's coming back to me.
Just today, I sensed the appearance of The House of Mystery in this small town.
And we came here to make sure no unwary mortals entered the house before it vanished again.
Yes.
And, that's when I attacked and transformed you back into witless 10-year-olds.
(LAUGHING) Oh, I sense an evil master plan about to unfold.
Heh.
Don't keep us in suspense mate.
Once I lured you inside the house, I knew it would be easy to relieve you of this! (GASPS) The helmet of fate.
Of course.
One of the most powerful magical objects in all of creation.
- (CAT MEOWS) - Now conveniently my size.
KLARION: (LAUGHS) Yes! KLARION: At the stroke of midnight, this house will vanish.
Taking you half-sized heroes with it.
Then I will rule the world as sorcerer supreme.
Well, we can't have that, can we? (GROANS) JOHN: Red hot cinnamon balls.
Always welcome in my goody bag.
(GRUNTING) Now, while Klarion's distracted, stop him with a spell.
(GROANING) KID ZATANNA: I can't.
He turned us back into 10-year-olds.
And, that's a problem.
Why? Braces.
I can barely talk front ways.
Never mind backwards.
Try.
(KID ZATANNA CHANTING SPELL) KLARION: None of your back talk, little witch.
(GROWLING) (CACKLING) Bring me the helmet.
Like a good old rugby game, right bats? Catch! - Tear them to bits.
- (CAT MEOWS) (GROWLS) (KID ZATANNA CHANTING SPELL) Impossible.
How? Let's hear it for the widows who give out toothbrushes.
- (SNARLS) - KID BATMAN: Hey.
Do your stuff, doc.
Be gone creatures.
House of mystery.
Obey the will of fate.
Release us.
(CLOCK BELL TOLLING) It's midnight.
The house is going to vanish.
And us, with it.
Release us.
(CHILDREN SCREAMING) Hurry, Teekl.
We can still get the helmet.
Not tonight, witch boy.
(KID ZATANNA CHANTING SPELL) (KLARION GRUNTS) (SCREAMS) No! (WOOD CREAKING) (KID DR.
FATE STRAINING) (STRAINING) (THUNDER CRACKS) Talk about a wild Halloween.
Hard to believe it really happened.
Hard to believe you really said, "Bejeebers.
" I never said, "Bejeebers.
" You totally said, "Bejeebers.
" (CAIN LAUGHS) You never know when a bloke needs to get into a spooky old house.
Don't be scared, kiddies.
After all, it was only a story.
Still, if on some Halloween you pass by a spooky old house that wasn't there a moment before, please come in and say, "Hello.
" We'd love to have you.
(CAIN LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
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