King of the Hill s10e03 Episode Script
Bill's House
1 ( coughing ) Are you drinking tea, Hank? No.
And so what if I am? You don't look so good.
Maybe you got the flu bug, honey.
I'm just tired.
I'm not sick.
Whatever you say, sicky.
( sighs ) ENRIQUE: You gotta go there.
The margaritas come in a glass shaped like a gecko.
STRICKLAND: That sounds muy caliente.
Hey, you got the funny pages? ( moaning ) That you, ol' top? Hey, how about tossing me another roll of T.
P.
? I'm working on quite a project in here.
( moans ) ( retching ) Told you so, honey.
( weary sigh ) Peggy? Shut the door, Dad.
It's freezing.
( coughing ) Ugh.
You guys are sick, too? Ugh.
Clark Peters sneezed on me.
Stupid kid.
Can't even cover his mouth when he sneezes.
( sighs ): He should be expelled.
Hank, our prescription should be ready.
One of us needs to pick it up.
Okay.
I've got a fever.
Plus, I cooked us dinner last night.
You just dumped a bunch of crackers on a plate.
Besides, I've got a fever and the chills.
Bobby, you always wanted to drive to the store, right? All right, fine.
I'll do it.
You guys had crackers for dinner? Why didn't you wake me up? ( moans ) Looks like the aliens finally got Hank.
At least they had the decency to put his pajamas back on.
Not like with me.
Whatcha guys lookin'? Oh, my God! Hank! ( gasps ) You're burning up.
He's lying here sick, and you didn't help him? So insensitive.
Actually, we thought he was dead.
There you go, Hank.
Now, don't you worry.
Bill is gonna take care of everything.
Bill? Yes, Hank? I have to throw up.
That's okay.
I'll get a bucket.
But not my good bucket.
Of course not.
Everybody comfy? Now here's your remote and the TV Guide.
You'll see I've highlighted a few things.
There's a movie with James Garner and a Doberman I think you'd both enjoy.
Oh, you are so thoughtful, Bill.
I'm gonna start dinner.
You two holler if you need anything.
If I make it through this, I promise to be a better kid.
I'll do my homework, take out the garbage, you name it.
If I make it through this, I promise to learn how to ride a bike.
You don't know how to ride a bike? I grew up in Montana, Bobby.
We rode horses, though a bike probably would have been better because I wouldn't have had to castrate it.
Mmm-hmm.
Very nice.
Congratulations.
You're all a perfect 98.
6.
I noticed we're out of juice.
I'll pick some up in the morning.
Well, thanks, Bill, but we're all feeling so good, maybe we should just take it from here.
PEGGY: We appreciate all you've done, but you do have your own life to get back to.
No, I don't.
I can stay.
Really, it's no trouble.
Well, thanks anyway, soldier, but you are relieved of duty.
I'll just dish up your lunch before I go.
I made my Nana's chicken soup ( voice cracks ): with the squiggly noodles.
( whimpers ) ( whimpers ) Hmm.
Bill? Uh, Bill, you were gonna poison us, weren't you? Yes, but just a little bit.
Don't be mad.
I'm not mad, Bill.
The truth is, until you tried to "induce vomiting," you were great at taking care of us.
You got a real knack for this.
Do you really think so? Sure.
I bet there are other people who could use a guy like you.
Maybe you oughta think about volunteering.
That's a great idea.
The world's filled with sick people.
I'm gonna look into this right after lunch.
Uh, Bill, we're gonna throw away the soup.
I understand.
Look at all these great volunteer opportunities.
They're letting men be candy stripers now.
Huh.
At this place, you can teach hip-hop dance to troubled teens.
I'd be happy to show you some of my sweet moves.
Yeah, yeah, hee-yah.
( gasps ) "Wanted: Patient, caring people "to assist in light chores and conversation at sober living facility.
" Huh.
A halfway house.
That sounds perfect for you, Bill.
I bet you could help a lot of folks over there.
Yeah, you're great at conversation.
If Nancy didn't make me get off the phone, I could talk to you all night.
I'm going down first thing tomorrow.
Can't wait! Well, Bill, that's what Opportunity House is all about.
Any questions? Can I start now, right now? I like your spirit.
You remind me of myself during my first relief trip to South America.
Yup.
I used this to serve beans to the people of Belize.
I keep it as a symbol of my promise to serve my fellow man.
Oh, that's a great spoon.
I'm glad you stopped by, Bill.
Opportunity House is always looking for good people, especially now that we're expanding the facility.
So where do you need me? I'll do anything.
No job is too humiliating.
Well, that depends.
There are two kinds of volunteers-- people who care, and people who really, really care.
Which one are you? I really, really care! You have a passion for helping people.
That's very Bono.
I like that.
Well, I saw Bill leave for the halfway house this morning.
He was wearing his blue shirt.
I love that shirt.
You know, I think Bill's finally found his thing.
Hey, guys.
Great news.
I got my very own alcoholics.
What? Yeah.
Opportunity House is too crowded, so I'm taking some of the guys until they can expand.
I even got a sign.
So Bill's house is now "Bill's House"? All right.
This way.
A halfway house? This is all I need-- a bunch of jittery drunks breaking into my house and rummaging through my guns.
Yeah, man.
I don't want them takin' no dang ol' 12 steps on my lawn, man.
Now, hold on.
We all thought it was great that Bill was working at a halfway house before.
So it has to move temporarily.
It's gotta go somewhere, right? KAHN: Hey, hillbillies, what's going on over there? Some alcoholics followed Bill home from work.
He's keeping 'em.
Boozehounds in neighborhood? Bah! I'm going home and deadbolting doors so drunks don't steal my mouthwash.
Kahn, these guys aren't criminals.
They're good people trying to get back on their feet.
and they're not gonna be here long, so just cut them, and Bill, some slack.
Yeah, that's not really my thing.
I've never had so many people for dinner.
I had to put the leaf in my table.
Thanks for saying I should do this, Hank.
Yeah, thanks, Hank.
Heck, you're the one doing the good deeds.
Here's to you, Bill.
Oh, that's sweet, but I'm gonna have to ask you not to drink in the alley.
I'm sorry, my mouth was full of beer, so I may not have heard you correctly.
Mm-hmm.
We at Bill's House are focused on a temptation-free recovery.
Well, if it's only for a couple of days.
It's weird.
I know it's not there, but I can feel the can in my hand.
I tell you, I'd become an alcoholic if I could just eat Bill's lasagna one more time.
You're clearing the table.
Okay, mister, what'd you do? Nothing.
I'm just cleaning up like a good kid would.
Like I promised and if I remember correctly Oh, that.
That was the fever talking.
We were out of our minds.
You made a promise to Jesus.
Damn it.
Now.
that's what I call some refreshing iced tea.
I like it.
I really, really like it.
Yes, I am one satisfied tea drinker.
( Dale chuckles ) ( yelps ) Beer? Dang it, Dale.
Bill said no alcohol in the alley.
Now, this means a lot to him.
We need to help him out.
Come on.
Bill can't take care of those guys.
How many times a week does he have popcorn for dinner? He doesn't even pop it, Hank.
MAN: Hey, brothers! He's coming right at us.
Shut up, Dale.
He's just being a good neighbor and saying hello.
Hey, there.
Hey, man.
Name's Mikey.
Got 48 days.
Feeling good, gonna make it.
Happy as hell to meet you.
Sun's shining, great day to be alive, but for the grace of God, am I right? I'm optimistic, focused, got my eye on the prize, know what I'm sayin'? I'm tuned in, feeling good, happy as hell to meet you.
Hey, brother! Well, he seems, uh nice.
( man sobbing ) Bill? Let it all out.
Oh, hey there, Hank.
Oh sorry.
I, uh, I heard male crying.
It's okay, we're just in the middle of group.
Randy here had a breakthrough.
( loud sobbing ) I see.
Wait, you're in charge of therapy? Oh, sure.
It's one of my many hats.
I do the cooking, cleaning, rec time.
That sounds like a lot.
It is overwhelming sometimes.
But in a fulfilling way.
( beeping ) Oh, no, I forgot.
Hank, I have to run to the pharmacy, pick up their meds.
Could you cover group? I won't be long.
We're working on taking emotional risks.
( sobbing ) Uh, hello.
Hello, friend.
I'm Stuart, and I'm an alcoholic.
Okay.
They called me Appleseed for 15 years, but that life of toad licking and cherry wine is behind me.
Now I've got a sober name for a sober future.
I got something to say.
Uh, are you sure? I feel nervous and excited and thirsty.
I lost my favorite T-shirt, and my big toe itches, and I hate my dad.
All right then.
Lesson one: Getting to know your bike.
Let's start with handlebars.
Oh, just give me the freakin' thing.
But you haven't even heard the part about balance.
Bobby, I'm sure riding a bike is just like swimming-- you hold your breath and kick like crazy.
( deep breath ) ( yells ) Mom, are you okay? You don't know how to swim, do you? Not so much.
We're out of milk?! I just bought this milk! I'm done taking out the trash.
Hank, they've eaten everything.
Oh, there's more to do than I thought.
Can you watch the guys while I'm at the store? They're making clay ashtrays.
What happened to the ones they made out of seashells? Mm-mm.
( sighs ) All I'm saying, friend, is that you're bogarting all the clay.
Well, I smoke more, and I got five days on you.
Whoa, let's not start judging.
You judged me first.
Hey, nobody's judging anybody.
Now it sounds like Stuart is feeling, uh Just give him some clay.
Hank, look who I found in the driveway.
It's my boss, Mr.
Draper.
You've got a heck of a bighearted friend here, Hank.
Thanks.
What a guy.
I wish I had a hundred Bill Dauterives.
Yeah, the thing is, you only have one.
And he's working himself like crazy.
Both of us are, actually.
We've even had to dip into our vacation days.
Addictions don't take a vacation, Hank.
Good thing there are people like us who really, really care.
Yeah, we're still pretty tired.
Anyway, how's that addition to Opportunity House coming along? Spectacular.
We open in a couple of weeks.
Hey, maybe you can cut the ribbon.
( laughing ) No, really, I'm going to cut it.
( rock music playing ) So I see your new best friends the alcoholics got a basketball hoop.
Give it a rest, Dale.
I don't have the energy right now.
Hey, brother, toss me the ball.
Man, I love hoops.
Went to a Spurs game before I got with the program-- long story short, lost my job.
MAN: I do so have H-0-R! Gary, we agreed the court is a no-conflict zone.
Okay, Mom, now let's discuss potholes.
Bobby, I can do this on my own.
That being said, if you let go of this bike, you will never see TV again.
You're doing great, Mom! Don't let go, don't let go don't let go.
He let go! ( Peggy screams ) ( crashing ) What? You did.
HANK: Boy, just think.
In a couple days these guys will be gone, and neither of us will ever have to sit in a circle again.
I've kind of grown attached to them, though.
This doesn't mean you have to stop volunteering.
I'm sure they're gonna need you at Opportunity House after the big expansion.
You're probably right.
His first night here, Randy thought this sock was trying to kill him.
( sighs ) ( vehicle approaches, stops ) What in the? What's going on here? Just dropping off some people at Bill's House.
Dropping off? BILL: Hank! There's so many of them! There's already a line for the bathroom! Wait, no.
No, no, no.
You're supposed to be taking people away.
No place to take 'em.
Opportunity House is closed.
What?! It'll be fun, right, Hank? Yeah, just like a giant sleepover.
Only we'll never get to sleep.
That's stinkin' thinkin', Elroy.
Anyone counting days? Well, they took my car and my crossbow.
This is crazy.
You can't have this many people living in your house.
And I can't keep taking time off work.
I said I'd help them, Hank.
It may kill me, but I'm going to do it.
I just have to really, really, really, really care.
Oh, God.
Look, we need to talk to Draper and tell him you can't do this.
Excuse me, where should I sleep? When's dinner? I need a meeting! We're losing them! Call Pizza Joe's and tell them Bill needs eight of his usuals.
God grant me the serenity ALL: to accept the things I cannot change, courage to the change the things I can ( doorbell rings ) Hey, Mr.
Draper.
Nice place you got here.
I didn't know they had gated communities in Arlen.
As you can imagine, I was worried about diversity, but Dr.
Rawalapindi is from Bangladesh, and the Kims are from Korea via London.
It's a regular U.
N.
in here.
So anyway, we need to talk about Opportunity House.
Sure, Hank.
Come on in.
Just brewed some coffee.
WOMAN: Mr.
Phillip, they got the hummus stain out of your tuxedo.
Wonderful, Dominga.
Mm, this coffee is Fair Trade.
With every sip you can practically taste the Guatemalan family being uplifted.
Dominga's face lights up every time I ask for a cup.
And I am almost done reading Fast Food Nation.
Okay.
So what happened over at Opportunity House? Funding fell through.
Damn bean counters.
I wish they could look in the eyes of the people they're hurting.
Listen, this is too much for Bill and me to handle.
These people can't stay at his house anymore.
Okay.
No problem.
Why don't you tell me who to throw out on the street.
What? Or maybe we should just tell people to stop being alcoholics.
Not so simple, is it? Listen, these guys are much better off sharing bedrooms in Bill's house than sleeping in some alley.
You're telling me those are the only two choices-- crammed in Bill's house or homeless? I'm afraid so.
Listen, Mr.
Draper ( horn honking ) Sorry, Hank, my ride is here.
Dominga, what's the Spanish word for "empathy"? Uh empatÃa.
That's my little girl over there.
That's mine over there.
( yelps, groans ) ( loud ) Don't stop believin' MAN: You gotta work the eighth step.
That's the key to success.
She won't let me back in the house.
Hank, tell me Draper had good news! I'm an alcoholic.
I know! I know! I'm just so tired, Hank.
And I'm so far behind.
I haven't even had time to collect the checks yet.
What checks? The ones the guys get from the government.
We have to get them signed and sent over to Draper.
Oh, and some of their hands shake a little.
Could you help 'em out? Draper gets 600 bucks a month from each guy? And that's not enough to keep Opportunity House open? I guess not.
Damn bean counters! Bobby, I think today is the day.
Sit down, Mom.
We need to talk.
I think we have to be honest with ourselves.
You're never going to learn how to ride a bike.
But I It's over, Mom.
Jesus knows you tried.
DRAPER: Hey, it's me.
Listen, I think we need more big-ticket items for the silent auction.
Remember, we're buying cows for Haitians, here.
Well, yeah, after we recoup our costs for the goodie bags.
( shouting ) I'm going to have to call you back.
Hey, Mr.
Draper.
Good of you to come over and say hi to your new neighbors.
Neighbors? What do you mean? This is the new-and-improved Bill's House.
We just rented it.
Yeah, we figured this place was a much better use of their money.
So I had the guys sign their checks over to Bill instead of you.
What?! You can't do that.
Well, I already did.
Now they have plenty of bedrooms, a rec area, a nice pool.
Maybe some swim therapy, huh, Bill? They would really enjoy that.
Oh, and, uh, you'll probably have to check in on them every now and again.
But you don't mind, right? People like us really, really care.
Well, hey, I don't have time.
I'm going to be Rocking the Vote for the next two months.
You'll figure something out.
Oh, you might want to warn your neighbors about the smoke.
And their basketball games get kind of heated.
Hey, brother, name's Mikey, feeling good.
Happy as hell to meet you.
Got to fake it till you make it.
Boy, it sure is quiet.
Yeah.
I found a cigarette butt in one of my planters and almost cried.
So how are the guys doing? Oh, they're great.
I was over there today giving haircuts.
I heard Mr.
Draper is starting construction on Opportunity House again.
Yeah, I thought that might happen.
BOOMHAUER: Yo, man.
Yep.
Yup.
Mmm-hmm.
Man, my tolerance is way down.
MIKEY: Went to a Spurs game-- long story short, lost my job.
And so what if I am? You don't look so good.
Maybe you got the flu bug, honey.
I'm just tired.
I'm not sick.
Whatever you say, sicky.
( sighs ) ENRIQUE: You gotta go there.
The margaritas come in a glass shaped like a gecko.
STRICKLAND: That sounds muy caliente.
Hey, you got the funny pages? ( moaning ) That you, ol' top? Hey, how about tossing me another roll of T.
P.
? I'm working on quite a project in here.
( moans ) ( retching ) Told you so, honey.
( weary sigh ) Peggy? Shut the door, Dad.
It's freezing.
( coughing ) Ugh.
You guys are sick, too? Ugh.
Clark Peters sneezed on me.
Stupid kid.
Can't even cover his mouth when he sneezes.
( sighs ): He should be expelled.
Hank, our prescription should be ready.
One of us needs to pick it up.
Okay.
I've got a fever.
Plus, I cooked us dinner last night.
You just dumped a bunch of crackers on a plate.
Besides, I've got a fever and the chills.
Bobby, you always wanted to drive to the store, right? All right, fine.
I'll do it.
You guys had crackers for dinner? Why didn't you wake me up? ( moans ) Looks like the aliens finally got Hank.
At least they had the decency to put his pajamas back on.
Not like with me.
Whatcha guys lookin'? Oh, my God! Hank! ( gasps ) You're burning up.
He's lying here sick, and you didn't help him? So insensitive.
Actually, we thought he was dead.
There you go, Hank.
Now, don't you worry.
Bill is gonna take care of everything.
Bill? Yes, Hank? I have to throw up.
That's okay.
I'll get a bucket.
But not my good bucket.
Of course not.
Everybody comfy? Now here's your remote and the TV Guide.
You'll see I've highlighted a few things.
There's a movie with James Garner and a Doberman I think you'd both enjoy.
Oh, you are so thoughtful, Bill.
I'm gonna start dinner.
You two holler if you need anything.
If I make it through this, I promise to be a better kid.
I'll do my homework, take out the garbage, you name it.
If I make it through this, I promise to learn how to ride a bike.
You don't know how to ride a bike? I grew up in Montana, Bobby.
We rode horses, though a bike probably would have been better because I wouldn't have had to castrate it.
Mmm-hmm.
Very nice.
Congratulations.
You're all a perfect 98.
6.
I noticed we're out of juice.
I'll pick some up in the morning.
Well, thanks, Bill, but we're all feeling so good, maybe we should just take it from here.
PEGGY: We appreciate all you've done, but you do have your own life to get back to.
No, I don't.
I can stay.
Really, it's no trouble.
Well, thanks anyway, soldier, but you are relieved of duty.
I'll just dish up your lunch before I go.
I made my Nana's chicken soup ( voice cracks ): with the squiggly noodles.
( whimpers ) ( whimpers ) Hmm.
Bill? Uh, Bill, you were gonna poison us, weren't you? Yes, but just a little bit.
Don't be mad.
I'm not mad, Bill.
The truth is, until you tried to "induce vomiting," you were great at taking care of us.
You got a real knack for this.
Do you really think so? Sure.
I bet there are other people who could use a guy like you.
Maybe you oughta think about volunteering.
That's a great idea.
The world's filled with sick people.
I'm gonna look into this right after lunch.
Uh, Bill, we're gonna throw away the soup.
I understand.
Look at all these great volunteer opportunities.
They're letting men be candy stripers now.
Huh.
At this place, you can teach hip-hop dance to troubled teens.
I'd be happy to show you some of my sweet moves.
Yeah, yeah, hee-yah.
( gasps ) "Wanted: Patient, caring people "to assist in light chores and conversation at sober living facility.
" Huh.
A halfway house.
That sounds perfect for you, Bill.
I bet you could help a lot of folks over there.
Yeah, you're great at conversation.
If Nancy didn't make me get off the phone, I could talk to you all night.
I'm going down first thing tomorrow.
Can't wait! Well, Bill, that's what Opportunity House is all about.
Any questions? Can I start now, right now? I like your spirit.
You remind me of myself during my first relief trip to South America.
Yup.
I used this to serve beans to the people of Belize.
I keep it as a symbol of my promise to serve my fellow man.
Oh, that's a great spoon.
I'm glad you stopped by, Bill.
Opportunity House is always looking for good people, especially now that we're expanding the facility.
So where do you need me? I'll do anything.
No job is too humiliating.
Well, that depends.
There are two kinds of volunteers-- people who care, and people who really, really care.
Which one are you? I really, really care! You have a passion for helping people.
That's very Bono.
I like that.
Well, I saw Bill leave for the halfway house this morning.
He was wearing his blue shirt.
I love that shirt.
You know, I think Bill's finally found his thing.
Hey, guys.
Great news.
I got my very own alcoholics.
What? Yeah.
Opportunity House is too crowded, so I'm taking some of the guys until they can expand.
I even got a sign.
So Bill's house is now "Bill's House"? All right.
This way.
A halfway house? This is all I need-- a bunch of jittery drunks breaking into my house and rummaging through my guns.
Yeah, man.
I don't want them takin' no dang ol' 12 steps on my lawn, man.
Now, hold on.
We all thought it was great that Bill was working at a halfway house before.
So it has to move temporarily.
It's gotta go somewhere, right? KAHN: Hey, hillbillies, what's going on over there? Some alcoholics followed Bill home from work.
He's keeping 'em.
Boozehounds in neighborhood? Bah! I'm going home and deadbolting doors so drunks don't steal my mouthwash.
Kahn, these guys aren't criminals.
They're good people trying to get back on their feet.
and they're not gonna be here long, so just cut them, and Bill, some slack.
Yeah, that's not really my thing.
I've never had so many people for dinner.
I had to put the leaf in my table.
Thanks for saying I should do this, Hank.
Yeah, thanks, Hank.
Heck, you're the one doing the good deeds.
Here's to you, Bill.
Oh, that's sweet, but I'm gonna have to ask you not to drink in the alley.
I'm sorry, my mouth was full of beer, so I may not have heard you correctly.
Mm-hmm.
We at Bill's House are focused on a temptation-free recovery.
Well, if it's only for a couple of days.
It's weird.
I know it's not there, but I can feel the can in my hand.
I tell you, I'd become an alcoholic if I could just eat Bill's lasagna one more time.
You're clearing the table.
Okay, mister, what'd you do? Nothing.
I'm just cleaning up like a good kid would.
Like I promised and if I remember correctly Oh, that.
That was the fever talking.
We were out of our minds.
You made a promise to Jesus.
Damn it.
Now.
that's what I call some refreshing iced tea.
I like it.
I really, really like it.
Yes, I am one satisfied tea drinker.
( Dale chuckles ) ( yelps ) Beer? Dang it, Dale.
Bill said no alcohol in the alley.
Now, this means a lot to him.
We need to help him out.
Come on.
Bill can't take care of those guys.
How many times a week does he have popcorn for dinner? He doesn't even pop it, Hank.
MAN: Hey, brothers! He's coming right at us.
Shut up, Dale.
He's just being a good neighbor and saying hello.
Hey, there.
Hey, man.
Name's Mikey.
Got 48 days.
Feeling good, gonna make it.
Happy as hell to meet you.
Sun's shining, great day to be alive, but for the grace of God, am I right? I'm optimistic, focused, got my eye on the prize, know what I'm sayin'? I'm tuned in, feeling good, happy as hell to meet you.
Hey, brother! Well, he seems, uh nice.
( man sobbing ) Bill? Let it all out.
Oh, hey there, Hank.
Oh sorry.
I, uh, I heard male crying.
It's okay, we're just in the middle of group.
Randy here had a breakthrough.
( loud sobbing ) I see.
Wait, you're in charge of therapy? Oh, sure.
It's one of my many hats.
I do the cooking, cleaning, rec time.
That sounds like a lot.
It is overwhelming sometimes.
But in a fulfilling way.
( beeping ) Oh, no, I forgot.
Hank, I have to run to the pharmacy, pick up their meds.
Could you cover group? I won't be long.
We're working on taking emotional risks.
( sobbing ) Uh, hello.
Hello, friend.
I'm Stuart, and I'm an alcoholic.
Okay.
They called me Appleseed for 15 years, but that life of toad licking and cherry wine is behind me.
Now I've got a sober name for a sober future.
I got something to say.
Uh, are you sure? I feel nervous and excited and thirsty.
I lost my favorite T-shirt, and my big toe itches, and I hate my dad.
All right then.
Lesson one: Getting to know your bike.
Let's start with handlebars.
Oh, just give me the freakin' thing.
But you haven't even heard the part about balance.
Bobby, I'm sure riding a bike is just like swimming-- you hold your breath and kick like crazy.
( deep breath ) ( yells ) Mom, are you okay? You don't know how to swim, do you? Not so much.
We're out of milk?! I just bought this milk! I'm done taking out the trash.
Hank, they've eaten everything.
Oh, there's more to do than I thought.
Can you watch the guys while I'm at the store? They're making clay ashtrays.
What happened to the ones they made out of seashells? Mm-mm.
( sighs ) All I'm saying, friend, is that you're bogarting all the clay.
Well, I smoke more, and I got five days on you.
Whoa, let's not start judging.
You judged me first.
Hey, nobody's judging anybody.
Now it sounds like Stuart is feeling, uh Just give him some clay.
Hank, look who I found in the driveway.
It's my boss, Mr.
Draper.
You've got a heck of a bighearted friend here, Hank.
Thanks.
What a guy.
I wish I had a hundred Bill Dauterives.
Yeah, the thing is, you only have one.
And he's working himself like crazy.
Both of us are, actually.
We've even had to dip into our vacation days.
Addictions don't take a vacation, Hank.
Good thing there are people like us who really, really care.
Yeah, we're still pretty tired.
Anyway, how's that addition to Opportunity House coming along? Spectacular.
We open in a couple of weeks.
Hey, maybe you can cut the ribbon.
( laughing ) No, really, I'm going to cut it.
( rock music playing ) So I see your new best friends the alcoholics got a basketball hoop.
Give it a rest, Dale.
I don't have the energy right now.
Hey, brother, toss me the ball.
Man, I love hoops.
Went to a Spurs game before I got with the program-- long story short, lost my job.
MAN: I do so have H-0-R! Gary, we agreed the court is a no-conflict zone.
Okay, Mom, now let's discuss potholes.
Bobby, I can do this on my own.
That being said, if you let go of this bike, you will never see TV again.
You're doing great, Mom! Don't let go, don't let go don't let go.
He let go! ( Peggy screams ) ( crashing ) What? You did.
HANK: Boy, just think.
In a couple days these guys will be gone, and neither of us will ever have to sit in a circle again.
I've kind of grown attached to them, though.
This doesn't mean you have to stop volunteering.
I'm sure they're gonna need you at Opportunity House after the big expansion.
You're probably right.
His first night here, Randy thought this sock was trying to kill him.
( sighs ) ( vehicle approaches, stops ) What in the? What's going on here? Just dropping off some people at Bill's House.
Dropping off? BILL: Hank! There's so many of them! There's already a line for the bathroom! Wait, no.
No, no, no.
You're supposed to be taking people away.
No place to take 'em.
Opportunity House is closed.
What?! It'll be fun, right, Hank? Yeah, just like a giant sleepover.
Only we'll never get to sleep.
That's stinkin' thinkin', Elroy.
Anyone counting days? Well, they took my car and my crossbow.
This is crazy.
You can't have this many people living in your house.
And I can't keep taking time off work.
I said I'd help them, Hank.
It may kill me, but I'm going to do it.
I just have to really, really, really, really care.
Oh, God.
Look, we need to talk to Draper and tell him you can't do this.
Excuse me, where should I sleep? When's dinner? I need a meeting! We're losing them! Call Pizza Joe's and tell them Bill needs eight of his usuals.
God grant me the serenity ALL: to accept the things I cannot change, courage to the change the things I can ( doorbell rings ) Hey, Mr.
Draper.
Nice place you got here.
I didn't know they had gated communities in Arlen.
As you can imagine, I was worried about diversity, but Dr.
Rawalapindi is from Bangladesh, and the Kims are from Korea via London.
It's a regular U.
N.
in here.
So anyway, we need to talk about Opportunity House.
Sure, Hank.
Come on in.
Just brewed some coffee.
WOMAN: Mr.
Phillip, they got the hummus stain out of your tuxedo.
Wonderful, Dominga.
Mm, this coffee is Fair Trade.
With every sip you can practically taste the Guatemalan family being uplifted.
Dominga's face lights up every time I ask for a cup.
And I am almost done reading Fast Food Nation.
Okay.
So what happened over at Opportunity House? Funding fell through.
Damn bean counters.
I wish they could look in the eyes of the people they're hurting.
Listen, this is too much for Bill and me to handle.
These people can't stay at his house anymore.
Okay.
No problem.
Why don't you tell me who to throw out on the street.
What? Or maybe we should just tell people to stop being alcoholics.
Not so simple, is it? Listen, these guys are much better off sharing bedrooms in Bill's house than sleeping in some alley.
You're telling me those are the only two choices-- crammed in Bill's house or homeless? I'm afraid so.
Listen, Mr.
Draper ( horn honking ) Sorry, Hank, my ride is here.
Dominga, what's the Spanish word for "empathy"? Uh empatÃa.
That's my little girl over there.
That's mine over there.
( yelps, groans ) ( loud ) Don't stop believin' MAN: You gotta work the eighth step.
That's the key to success.
She won't let me back in the house.
Hank, tell me Draper had good news! I'm an alcoholic.
I know! I know! I'm just so tired, Hank.
And I'm so far behind.
I haven't even had time to collect the checks yet.
What checks? The ones the guys get from the government.
We have to get them signed and sent over to Draper.
Oh, and some of their hands shake a little.
Could you help 'em out? Draper gets 600 bucks a month from each guy? And that's not enough to keep Opportunity House open? I guess not.
Damn bean counters! Bobby, I think today is the day.
Sit down, Mom.
We need to talk.
I think we have to be honest with ourselves.
You're never going to learn how to ride a bike.
But I It's over, Mom.
Jesus knows you tried.
DRAPER: Hey, it's me.
Listen, I think we need more big-ticket items for the silent auction.
Remember, we're buying cows for Haitians, here.
Well, yeah, after we recoup our costs for the goodie bags.
( shouting ) I'm going to have to call you back.
Hey, Mr.
Draper.
Good of you to come over and say hi to your new neighbors.
Neighbors? What do you mean? This is the new-and-improved Bill's House.
We just rented it.
Yeah, we figured this place was a much better use of their money.
So I had the guys sign their checks over to Bill instead of you.
What?! You can't do that.
Well, I already did.
Now they have plenty of bedrooms, a rec area, a nice pool.
Maybe some swim therapy, huh, Bill? They would really enjoy that.
Oh, and, uh, you'll probably have to check in on them every now and again.
But you don't mind, right? People like us really, really care.
Well, hey, I don't have time.
I'm going to be Rocking the Vote for the next two months.
You'll figure something out.
Oh, you might want to warn your neighbors about the smoke.
And their basketball games get kind of heated.
Hey, brother, name's Mikey, feeling good.
Happy as hell to meet you.
Got to fake it till you make it.
Boy, it sure is quiet.
Yeah.
I found a cigarette butt in one of my planters and almost cried.
So how are the guys doing? Oh, they're great.
I was over there today giving haircuts.
I heard Mr.
Draper is starting construction on Opportunity House again.
Yeah, I thought that might happen.
BOOMHAUER: Yo, man.
Yep.
Yup.
Mmm-hmm.
Man, my tolerance is way down.
MIKEY: Went to a Spurs game-- long story short, lost my job.