Lip Sync Battle (2015) s01e02 Episode Script

John Legend vs. Common

Man: Ow! Friends say it's fine, friends say it's good everybody says it's just like rock 'n' roll ohhhhhhh well, it's plain to see you were meant for me, yeah and I'm your boy, your 20th century toy [Cheers and applause.]
[Feedback.]
[Cheers and applause.]
Teigen: Please welcome a hip-hop legend, the host of our show, LL Cool J.
Oh, man.
Welcome to "Lip Sync Battle.
" You know what it is.
You've seen it on TV.
You've seen it online.
You've seen it everywhere.
So you know the game is simple two stars lip-sync two songs, and the audience decides who did it best.
Okay? [Crowd cheers.]
And here to help me out is our color commentator.
- She's a voice of the people, a party in a box.
- [Chuckles.]
The lovely, the talented, my girl Chrissy Teigen.
[Rap music plays.]
[Cheers and applause.]
Hi, everybody! Chrissy, you excited about tonight's show? Very excited.
You guys excited? [Cheers and applause.]
You look amazing.
Thank you.
I had to get gussied up for this one.
Oh, yeah.
Special night for you tonight.
I watched these two gentlemen rehearse, and they are in it to win it.
And I'm a little nervous 'cause they're friends, and they might not be after this.
[Laughs.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was a little tension.
There was some tension.
We had to separate their dressing rooms.
Like, they were close to each other.
We made them further away.
Yeah.
They didn't want to hear each other.
They're very into it.
You guys excited to see them? 'Cause it's gonna be crazy.
All right.
Well, let's do it.
So, are you ready for tonight's lip-sync battle? [Cheers and applause.]
First up is a hip-hop star, Golden Globe winner, Grammy winner, a man cool enough to lip-sync on this stage Common.
[Cheers and applause.]
His opponent is a pop and R&B star, Golden Globe winner, as well, Grammy winner, and he's also one of the luckiest men in the world because win or lose, he gets to go home with Chrissy Teigen.
[Laughs.]
Ladies and gentlemen, the man, the myth, here's John Legend.
[Cheers and applause.]
Oh, that's nice.
We asked Chrissy if she wanted her favorite singer to go first, and, of course, she said yes.
Common! [Laughter.]
So, John, have a seat.
Common, come on over.
You go first.
[Cheers and applause.]
Yeah.
Okay.
So, what's your first song? My first song is something something real special for y'all.
It's the Jackson 5 "I Want You Back.
" [Cheers and applause.]
Here with "I Want You Back," Common.
[Cheers and applause.]
Uh-huh, huh, huh-uhh let me tell ya now uh-huh, mm-hmm when I had you to myself, I didn't want you around those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd but someone picked you from the bunch one glance was all it took now it's much too late for me to take a second look oh, baby, give me one more chance to show you that I love you won't you please let me back in your heart oh, darlin' I was blind to let you go let you go, baby but now since I see you in his arms I want you back yes, I do now I want you back ooh, ooh, baby I want you back yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah I want you back na, na, na, na [cheers and applause.]
Yeah! Yo.
Make some noise! [Cheers and applause.]
You know, as a lyricist, and an emcee who's written so many great songs.
It must be freeing to get out here and just do some Mike Jack.
Oooh, yes! Man, I felt free, and I felt the crowd, and I was like [Cheers and applause.]
That was the first concert I ever seen, was the Jackson 5, so I got to do that on this stage tonight, - on "Lip Sync," yeah.
- Ahhh! John.
John.
We were back there doing a little back-up dancing.
Yeah, man.
I was having fun, man.
I forgot I was in a competition, man.
I was helping him too much.
[Laughter.]
This happens to us all the time, honestly.
He's too nice.
I try to fight with him, and he will not.
- Ever.
- [Laughter.]
Like, I try to get it.
He won't do it.
Say something mean, John.
That was terrible! [Laughter.]
You Well, Common, you deserve a first-class seat right over there.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
John, come on up.
[Cheers and applause.]
Round of applause for John Legend.
[Cheers and applause.]
Hey! What's your first song? Well, you know, all these rappers are singing nowadays, auto tune, so I decided I'm strictly rapping tonight.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Chuckles.]
Come on.
First we gonna take it to the dirty, dirty, with some juvenile.
[Cheers and applause.]
"Slow Motion.
" [Cheers and applause.]
Ladies and gentlemen, only on "Lip Sync Battle" can you see the great John Legend doing [Cheers and applause.]
"Slow Motion" by Juvenile.
Let's rock.
[Laughter.]
[Rapping.]
slow motion for me, slow motion for me move it slow motion for me slow motion for me, slow motion for me move it slow motion for me unh, I like it like that she working that back, I don't know how to act slow motion for me, slow motion for me slow motion for me, move it slow motion for me unh, I like it like that she working that back, I don't know how to act slow motion for me, slow motion for me slow motion for me, move it slow motion for me I'm a dick thrower, her neck and her back hurting cut throat I'll have you like a brand-new virgin it's like when she get used of it, then you start serving hop up on top and start jicky-jicky jerking slow down for me, you moving too fast my fingers keep slipping, I'm trying to grip that ass keep being hard-headed and I'mma make you get off me got a human 'nough disguise, but my face is a doggy if you loving my bark, let me bury my bone I got four or five bad married bitches at home one of my bitches fell in love with that outside dick that outside dick keep them hoes sick like, unh, I like it like that she working that back, I don't know how to act Slow motion for me, slow motion for me slow motion for me, move it slow motion for me [Cheers and applause.]
Ohh! Uh-oh.
You seemed like you had something to get off your chest with that, man.
- Oh, you know.
- [Laughter.]
I've been buttoned-up too long singing this R&B, man.
[Laughter.]
So, what is the difference between, you know, sitting behind a piano and signing one of your classics that everybody loves and getting out here and, you know, working the crowd with "Slow motion for me"? I never really sang about being somebody's outside dick before.
[Laughter.]
[Cheers and applause.]
Sorry, mom.
[Laughter.]
On that note, Common.
[Laughter.]
Well, I have been somebody's outside dick before, man.
[Laughter.]
[Cheers and applause.]
So, John, grab a chair next to Common for a second.
[Cheers and applause.]
We all just saw lip sync at its best.
Let's hear from our color commentator.
And I know she will be fair and unbiased.
[Chuckles.]
Chrissy, what did you think? Yeah, what the [Bleep.]
was that? [Laughter.]
Okay, Common comes out sweet as pie, adorable, makes his way to the front of the stage.
I'm like, "yeah, baby, give me" like, "yeah, this is so cute.
" John [Laughter.]
he was slapping ass in slow motion.
Like, he was I was like, "why so slow?" [Laughter.]
Unh.
Unh.
I'm so disturbed by John right now.
That was so weird.
I'm so sorry.
You pay my bills.
Legend: It's okay.
You're so good.
[Laughter.]
But, oh, my gosh.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Common: Thank you.
She's not voting.
She's not voting.
[Laughter and applause.]
LL Cool J: Unbelievable.
That was amazing.
We'll be right back with more from these two great singer/rapper/actors/producer extraordinaires.
They'll be great lip-syncers here on "Lip Sync Battle.
" [Cheers and applause.]
Welcome back to "Lip Sync Battle.
" And now it gets serious.
Round two.
Let's kick things off by checking out how Common got in game shape tonight.
Common: Let know right now is you watching the steps of a champion.
Well, let me tell you.
John hasn't been talking smack to me, 'cause when he see me, he looking scared.
He looking like he ain't ready for what I'm about to deliver.
I don't know if his name will be "John Legend" no more.
He might just be "John Present" for one day.
It ain't gonna be legendary, you know? [Laughs.]
If you watch this performance, you gonna feel, like, the vibrations of me singing.
That's how good a lip-syncer I am.
You got to understand, man, I'm a warrior.
I'm a competitor.
I'm a winner.
Hey, man, you my man.
We doing our thing.
We doing what we love to do together.
But right now, it's competition.
And the competition is none.
[Cheers and applause.]
["All Night Long" by Lionel Richie plays.]
Yo, I'mma be sick right now.
Well, my friends, the time has come to raise the roof and have some fun throw away the work to be done let the music play on, play on, play on everybody sing, everybody dance lose yourself in wild romance we're going to party karamu, fiesta, forever come on and sing along all night long all night, all night all night long all night yeah all night all night long all night, all night all night long all night, all night yeah once you get started you can't sit down come join the fun it's a merry-go-round everyone's dancing their troubles away come join our party, see how we play [Cheers and applause.]
tam bo li de say de moi ya hey, jambo jambo way to party, oh, we goin' oh, jambo, jambo tam bo li de say de moi ya yeah, jambo, jambo [cheers and applause.]
Yo.
Yo, bro.
Come.
What?! Yo, you had Lionel Richie break dancing? Yeah, man.
I love it.
Yo, what yo.
Talk to me, baby.
Just I can't even ask you just talk to me.
Hey, man, we just came to party all night long, get the party turned up.
[Cheers and applause.]
Y'all know that.
You remember seeing that video.
You seen him break dancing in that video.
We brought it to Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We brought it to "Lip Sync," baby.
I love it.
No question.
I was lip-syncing it all night long, all night - [Laughs.]
- Yes, sir.
Yo, and your you got the red shirt on.
I mean, you really embodying Lionel right now.
Yeah.
I had to show the taco meat on the chest.
The taco meat! [Laughs.]
Yeah.
I can button this up now, you know.
[Cheers and applause.]
Common, go ahead and have a seat, please, right next to our other lip-sync aficionado.
Okay.
Well, in a minute, we'll see if John also has lip-sync greatness in him.
We got more for you coming up on "Lip Sync Battle.
" Stay tuned.
Tam bo li de say de moi ya, hey Everybody says it's just like rock 'n' roll Welcome back to "Lip Sync Battle.
" Let's take a look at John Legend getting in the zone.
Oh, just getting ready, you know.
In case I take my shirt off or something.
I have this really special alter-ego that is a great rapper.
My true calling is to be the greatest emcee ever.
This is all about me showing people what I was born to do.
My running man was so off-beat.
That's okay.
[Laughs.]
My secret weapon is gonna help me win this competition.
I love its curves and its edges and its perfect imperfections.
I don't want him to trip.
[Laughs.]
My last name is Legend.
His name is Common.
Who do you think is gonna win this? I am the greatest emcee of all time.
I will lip-sync the hell out of these songs.
I will dominate this competition, and you will be defeated.
I love you, brother.
[Cheers and applause.]
["U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer plays.]
[Rapping.]
you can't touch this you can't touch this you can't touch this you can't touch this my, my, my, my music hits me so hard makes me say "oh my lord" thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hype feet it feels good when you know you're down a super dope homeboy from the oaktown and I'm known as such and this is a beat, unh! You can't touch I told you homeboy you can't touch this yeah, that's how we living and you know you can't touch this look at my eyes, man you can't touch this yo, let me bust the funky lyrics you can't touch this fresh new kicks, advance you gotta like that, now you know you wanna dance so move, outta your seat and get a fly girl and catch this beat while it's rolling, hold on pump a little bit and let 'em know it's going on like that, like that cold on a mission so fall on back let 'em know that you're too much and this is a beat, unh! They can't touch yo, I told you, break it down oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh-oh-oh, oh, oh oh-oh-oh, oh Stop! Hammer time.
[Cheers and applause.]
Somebody said, "encore!" I'm about to have a heart attack.
[Chuckles.]
John! The running man is kind of strenuous.
[Laughter.]
I don't think the ladies are used to you showing this much chest, either, John.
[Women cheering.]
All right, now.
All right, yeah.
All right, get over there.
You gonna make the Rock jealous.
[Laughter.]
All right.
Now, Chrissy Yeah.
What'd you think? I'm like I'm, like, racking my brain.
I'm like, "how crazy is this prenup?" I'm, like, looking for other husbands right now.
- I don't even know what to say.
- [Laughs.]
No, I love you.
That was good! [Laughter.]
Thank you.
I've never seen you move like that ever.
Like, that fast.
[Laughter.]
Right? Right? Right? Slow.
It's a slow thing.
[Laughter.]
John, I'm so sorry I'm tough on you.
Let me say something nice.
I still love you.
I still love you.
I love you so much.
Uh, that's all.
Yeah.
[Laughter.]
I'm gonna get a lot of sympathy votes from the crowd.
I feel it already.
Okay.
[Cheers and applause.]
Yep, you just heard from Chrissy Teigen.
You want to see what's coming up next, stay tuned for more "Lip Sync Battle.
" ["U Can't Touch This" plays.]
Stop! Hammer time.
Everybody says it's just like rock 'n' roll It's been a great night.
It's time to select the new champion.
Chrissy, the Lip Sync belt.
Here we go.
Whoo! Common, you had Lionel Richie break dancing.
You sung your heart out.
You feel good about it? I feel great, man.
I feel like I should be going home with that belt.
John, nobody could touch you tonight.
You feel good about it? I feel so good.
I feel so good.
All right, then.
So, ladies and gentlemen, audience, it's up to you.
Is it Common [Cheers and applause.]
or is it John Legend? [Cheers and applause.]
And the winner and "Lip Sync Battle" champion is Common.
[Cheers and applause.]
[Laughter.]
Thank you.
Thank you.
[Cheers and applause.]
You did so great, man.
I'm so proud.
I killed you.
I'm sorry.
You killed me.
I killed him.
Well, thank you to Common and John for giving tonight all they've got.
I'm LL Cool J, and for me, Chrissy, and everyone on the "Lip Sync" crew, good night, and remember knock 'em out the box, Al! Knock 'em out, Al! [Cheers and applause.]
When I had you to myself, I didn't want you around those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd but someone picked you from the bunch one glance was all it took now it's much too late for me to take a second look oh, baby, give me one more chance to show you that I love you won't you please let me back in your heart
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