Lip Sync Battle (2015) s02e06 Episode Script

Hayden Panettiere vs. Eva Longoria

Everybody say it's just like rock 'n' roll Well, it's plain to see you were meant for me Yeah, I'm your boy, Your 20th Century toy.
His mama said, "Knock you out," and I say, "Make some noise" for your host, with mad flow, LL Cool J.
Yeah! Put your hands in the air.
Hands in the air.
Now let me hear you say, "Yeah.
" Yeah.
Now scream.
Yeah, it's time for the pop culture phenomenon known around the world as "Lip Sync Battle.
" But before we bring out our glamorous gladiators because there's a key piece of the puzzle that's missing.
My partner in crime, the goofy and gorgeous, colorful commentator supreme, Miss Chrissy Teigen.
Everywhere I go, go, go, go, go - All they do is stare - Go on, stare - All they do is stare - Go on, stare - All they do is stare - Go on, stare - All they do is stare - Go on, stare Does that lady know how to make an entrance or what? Whoa.
Oh, my gosh.
Tell the audience what they can expect from tonight's show.
Well, tonight, this is a really, really exciting matchup, you guys.
We've got two petite powerhouses.
I'm pretty sure it's gonna be the cutest all-out war in "Lip Sync Battle" history.
Are you ready for this? - All right, Chrissy, let's do this.
- Boom.
- Let's do this.
- Boom, boom.
Everybody ready to meet tonight's amazing artists? First up, she broke into showbiz as a child actress, and now stars on the hit series, "Nashville.
" Here to throw haymakers all night long, the lovely, Hayden Panettiere.
And her opponent, not only a beautiful A-list actress, she's a producer, an author, looking to become a "Lip Sync Battle" champion, it's Eva Longoria.
Oh, man.
Oh.
All right, audience, are you ready for the big battle? Hayden, I think you'll be first, - Eva, have a little seat in the VIP.
- Why? Yeah, yeah, come on.
Don't play like that.
Don't let me down, guys.
Come on, I have a complex.
I'm 5"2'.
Yeah, as am I.
Okay, okay.
>All right.
You know, on this show, song choice is super important.
What song did you pick? I have to stand up for the fact that I am short and blonde, and I'm proud of it.
- Mm-hmm.
- So, I gotta go with Blondie, "One Way Or Another.
" Here she is, Hayden Panettiere.
One way or another I'm gonna find ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya One way or another I'm gonna win ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya One way or another I'm gonna see ya I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya One day maybe next week I'm gonna meet ya I'm gonna meet ya I'll meet ya I will drive past your house And if the lights are all down I'll see who's around - Okay.
- One way or another I'm gonna lose ya I'm gonna give you the slip Slip over here for another I'm gonna lose ya I'll trick ya, I'll trick ya One way or another I'm gonna lose ya I'm gonna trick ya, trick ya, trick ya, trick ya One way or another I'm gonna lose ya I'm gonna give you the slip One way or another I'm gonna get ya Where I can see it all Find out who you call One way or another I'm gonna get ya Where I can see it all find out who you call.
Chrissy, what did you think? What did you think? Man, LL, I love when we have big actresses and really good actresses, because they can take a creepy song, and make it even creepier.
Like, you made that weird and I liked it.
- Oh, I like that.
- Oh, yeah.
I like that.
I did my job.
Your eye contact, everything.
I didn't even know that song was that weird until I saw you do it.
- I am with you, Chrissy.
- Right? - A little creepy.
- A little creepy.
- Creep alert! - One way or another, I'm gonna win this.
I like it.
Well, Hayden, you take a seat in the VIP.
- Eva, you come on over here.
- All right, all right.
All right.
Get on over here.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
- It's on.
Let's go, let's go.
Practice is over, now the show.
The show has started.
Oh, oh, oh.
Whoa, girl.
So, Eva, Hayden, she's on "Nashville," - but country girl just went rock star on you.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so what song are you doing for us? Well, you know what, it's typical the blondie picked Blondie.
- Okay.
- You know - Blondies like to rock.
Right? Right? - Oh But Latinas, Latinas like to get like to get Hang on, hang on, hang on.
All right.
Hang on.
Oi, Latinas like to get low.
Oh! All right, so, this is Eva Longoria.
Mmm, mmm, mmm Let me talk to 'em Let me talk to 'em Let it rain Mmm, mmm, mmm - Let me talk to 'em - Come on Shorty got them Apple Bottom jeans Boots with the fur With the fur The whole club was looking at her She hit the flo' - She hit the flo' - Next thing you know Shorty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low Hey I ain't never seen nothing that'll make me go Had a million dollar vibe and a bottle to go Them birthday cakes, they stole the show So sexual, she was flexible Professional, drinkin' X and oh Hold up, wait a minute Do I see what I think I Whoa Did I think I seen shorty get low Ain't the same whenit's up that close Make it rain I'm making it snow Work the pole I got the bank roll I'mma say that I prefer them no clothes I'm into that I love women exposed She threw it back at me I gave her mo' Cash ain't a problem, I know where it goes She had them Apple Bottom jeans Boots with the fur With the fur The whole club was lookin' at her She hit the flo' She hit the flo' Next thing you know Shorty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low Them baggy sweatpants And the Reeboks with the straps - With the straps - She turned around And gave that big booty a slap - Hey - She hit the flo' - She hit the flo' - Next thing you know Shorty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low.
Low We got low.
I didn't know you had it in you.
That's right.
- Boots with the fur - With the fur Chrissy, talk to me.
I think we all saw a side of you we haven't seen before.
And we are not mad at it.
- Yeah, that's true.
- That was so good.
That's true, my backside.
Yeah, yeah.
I never saw it.
- We've seen that.
- With the straps With the straps I love it.
That was really good.
- All right, so Eva - Yeah.
All right, you act, you produce, you write but what was it like performing for this live Oh, my God, let me tell you, It's not fair because Hayden is a singer and performer, so I don't ever - Oh, don't - get to experience this, and it was amazing! Oh, my God! - Hayden's used to this, Hayden's used to it.
- Hayden, wait a minute, Hayden, Hayden, I think you ha - Hayden's used to this.
- You know what, I feel like don't use that against me.
, - Come on.
- My talent.
Don't use my talent against me.
Are you ready to up your game, Hayden? Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- Uh-oh.
- Let's go.
- All right, Hayden started off with a Blondie bombshell and Eva here just tore up the floor.
But when we come back, things are going next level on "Lip Sync Battle" These two will add props, costumes, and all kinds of crazy stuff for round two when they continue their quest, for lip sync domination.
Eva, can you do that little move one more time? Only you get low.
You get low.
Low, low, low, low low, low, low, low.
This is what "Lip Sync Battle" is all about.
Tonight, these two tiny, delicate, Hollywood flowers named Panettiere, and Longoria, Have practically torn the roof off the house, and we're only halfway home.
Next up, it's round two, where legends are made, and viral video superstars are born.
But before Eva gives her make-or-break performance, let's see how she got ready for this challenge.
Hayden's a good friend of mine, but I am very competitive, so I want to kick her butt in the best way possible.
I need to enhance what God gave me.
God How many asses have you built on this show? You're our first ass.
I'm the first fake ass.
- Hi, ladies.
I see you.
- How are you? All right, I'm gonna see y'all in a little bit, yeah? - Yeah.
- Okay.
That's my posse.
I feel like Taylor Swift now 'cause I have a squad.
All right, here we go, guys.
On the mark.
From the top.
- I'm excited.
Okay, I go up here? - Yeah.
You guys are gonna make me look good, right? Oh, my God.
Do it again, do it again.
- Well, it's all about the ass, Beth.
- I know.
This show is so fun.
It's not about winning, but I want to win.
My anaconda don't My anaconda don't want none Unless you've got buns, hun Boy named Troy used to live in Detroit Big, big, big money He was gettin' some coins Was in shoot-outs with the law But he live in a palace Bought me Alexander McQueen He was keeping me stylish Now that's real, real, real One in my purse 'Cause I came dressed to kill Who wanna go first? I had them pushing daffodils I'm fly as hell I got 'em I'm on some dumb by the way, what he say? He can tell I ain't missing no meals Come through and check him in my automobile Let him eat it with his grills he telling me to chill He keep telling me it's real that he love my sex appeal He said he don't like 'em boney He want something he could grab So I pulled up in a Jag And I hit him with a jab like, dun, dun, dun, dun My anaconda don't My anaconda don't My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun Oh my gosh, look at her butt Oh my gosh, look at her butt Oh my gosh, look at her butt Look at her butt Look it, look it, look at her butt Little in the middle but you got much back Little in the middle but you got much back Oh my God, look at her butt.
Oh, my God, Chrissy, look at her - butt.
- I have been.
No if's no and's, or "butt's.
" Oh, my gosh.
I thought the first one was unexpected.
And Chrissy, what were you what were you looking at? These are my "butt-noculars.
" They're upside down, Chrissy.
Oh.
All right, Eva, why don't you go have a seat? - Whoo! - All right.
Isn't that special? Panettiere versus derrière.
Yes.
All right, Eva gave it all she had and then some, but when we come back, Hayden's taking her swing at the title.
Who will join the ranks of "Lip Sync Battle" legends like Anne Hathaway, and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? Find out right after this.
By the way what he say He could tell I ain't missing no meals Come through and check him in my automobile Let him eat it with his grills He tellin' me to chill.
My kind of people People to help me ride the wave The crowd is going crazy, the songs have been spectacular.
And the choreography just killer.
Eva and Hayden are going all-out to become the champion of "Lip Sync Battle.
" With just one song left, Hayden's final number before she takes the stage.
Let's see what her mindset was coming on to the show.
"Lip Sync Battle" is mine! I'm gonna own it.
Oh, my God.
Hello.
- Oh, my God.
Are you ready? - Yeah, I'm in the mood.
- Do you have to stretch? - I'm in the mood.
I've got - I'm dude - Are you nervous? Yes! This is amazing.
Wait.
Oh, yes.
I think this is just LL's personal closet.
Oh, my gosh, that actually looks really good Wait, no.
- Uh! - Nice.
- Turn it up.
- All right, we got it.
Woo! I'm dying, this is the most exercise I've gotten.
Okay, here we go everybody.
- I feel like I'm gonna do - Yeah.
- You got it.
Yeah.
- every facial expression that I can - Absolutely.
Absolutely.
- to make it look really goofy.
Yeah.
You don't even know.
See.
See those people? Loser, loser, loser.
Winner.
You don't even know! My lips are synced! Where's all my soul sistas Lemme hear y'all flow sistas Hey sista, go sista Soul sista, flow sista Hey sista, go sista Soul sista, flow sista He met Marmalade down in old Moulin Rouge Struttin' her stuff on the street She said, "Hello.
Hey, Joe" You wanna give it a go? Giuchie, giuchie, ya ya dada Giuchie, giuchie ya ya here Voulez vous coucher avec moi Yeah, yeah You come through with the money In the garter belts I let him know we 'bout that cake Straight up the gate uh We independent women, some mistake us for whores I'm sayin' why spend mine when I can spend yours Hey, sista, soul sistas Betta get that dough, sistas We drink wine with the diamonds in the glass By the case The meaning of expensive taste If you wanna giuchie, giuchie, ya ya Mocha Chocalata what Creole Lady Marmalade One more time, come on Christina Marmalade Marmalade Marmalade Hey, hey, hey Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth, hey Color of café au lait all right Made the savage beast inside Roar until he cried More, more, more Creole Lady Marmalade Yes-ah.
Whoa! - Christina! - Yeah! Hey, hey, hey.
Oh! Hey! Excellent.
Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy.
I'm don't talk to me.
I'm so nervous now.
Chrissy, what just happened? Hayden, just bringing out your friend, Christina Aguilera.
Whatever.
No big deal.
Oh, my gosh.
How did this happen? Let's start there.
How did this happen? The first time I ever worked with Christina, I I went to rehearsal and I screwed up my lines and it was supposed to be funny and she laughed anyway.
It was just actually giving me confidence to go up here.
- I was like, I was like my girl's coming here.
- Yeah, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Aw.
She's backing me up.
- Aw.
- I feel good.
- But it is nerve-racking.
- Welcome to my world.
That's funny.
Yeah, this is your world.
So, how did it feel getting out here in front of the crowd doing this song? This whole show is such loving, like like fun, amazing, energetic, just like animalistic love.
Like, it's like a it's like a love fest.
That's the best kind of love.
- A little animalistic.
- Animalistic love.
Eva, Eva.
- Hi, Christina.
- Hi, baby.
I know Christina too.
Yeah.
Okay? Had I known you were available, girl had I known you were available.
No, let me tell you, I don't know what's bigger right now, my ass or their hair.
I mean I mean, we can have a band with this ass and that hair.
You just need to come in the middle.
- Real quick.
Right here.
- Yeah, it's all good.
- Big hair, big ass.
- I don't know what's what's - Yes! Yes! - Oh, yeah.
I don't know what's bumpier, Mocha chocalata ya ya.
What is happening? I'm a chocalata.
So, obviously, these ladies aren't holding anything back tonight, where there can only be one champion.
The audience will decide their fate when "Lip Sync Battle" returns.
Make some noise! Giuchie, giuchie, ya ya dada Giuchie, giuchie ya ya here.
The "Lip Sync Battle" is over.
And before we get the final verdict, I gotta say that both these ladies revealed themselves as true champions.
All right? Okay.
You gonna stop that.
- I like it, I'm taking it home.
- All right, now It's time for the crowd to decide who joins the prestigious line of "Lip Sync Battle" champions.
- Chrissy.
- Let's do this.
- Let's do this, baby.
All right.
- Ready? So, first up, make some noise if you think the champ is Hayden Panettiere.
Okay.
Okay.
Got it.
Now, let's hear it for Eva Longoria.
Well the people have been heard.
And the "Lip Sync Battle" champion is Eva Longoria.
All right.
- Let me put this on.
- Oh! Congratulations.
How do you feel right now? Oh, my God! So exciting! I'm so excited.
You have no idea how competitive I am.
I got the belt! - I got the belt.
- Okay.
Look You look amazing Don't close your eyes when you go to sleep.
Hayden.
What will you remember about tonight? - What will you remember? - That I lost.
- Aight.
- No.
Ladies and gentlemen, much love to Hayden Panettiere, Eva Longoria for stepping up to the challenge.
Good night from me, LL Cool J and my girl, Chrissy.
Remember, knock 'em out the box, L.
Knock 'em out, L.
By the way, what he say? He can tell I ain't missing no meals Come through and check him in my automobile Let him eat it with his grills he telling me to chill He keep telling me that it's real that he love my sex appeal
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