Lip Sync Battle (2015) s04e06 Episode Script

Luis Fonsi vs. Joan Smalls

1 - Hit it! - (FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING) It takes two to make a thing go right It takes two to make it outta sight I wanna rock right now I'm Rob Base and I came to get down I'm not internationally known But I'm known to rock a microphone Because I get stupid, I mean outrageous Stay away from me if you're contagious Ladies love me, girls adore me I mean even the ones who never saw me Like one, two, three, get loose now It takes two What's happening, LSB? Tonight's battle is bringing you two of the hottest Puerto Rican stars.
And to navigate through all this fire, it's your Lip Sync master, your host, LL Cool J! ( HEADSPRUNG BY LL COOL J PLAYS) They call me Big L'y Big silly Big money Big Billy When I'm slidin' in them all, can ya hear me I be sexing wit these bars Show me, people, hands up now! Hands up now! Hands up now! Hands up now! - Say "Yeah!" - CROWD: Yeah! - Say "Hell, yeah!" - CROWD: Hell, yeah! To get our head sprung And we 'bout to get our head sprung Yo! Yo! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Whoa! She's so sexy! She's a chef! She's so, so def! She is Chrissy Teigen! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) CHRISSY: It's a loud one! For our saucy night, we got a loud crowd.
You know what I mean? - How y'all feeling? - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Welcome to Lip Sync Battle, and you are now rockin' with the best.
This is the show that's packed with amazing performances by your favorite stars, all designed to give you an unforgettable time.
- You feel me? - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) She's a super model, and an actress who's been featured in Vogue magazine, all across the world.
Make some noise for Joan Smalls! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) And he is a multi-platinum recording artist, a Latin Grammy winner, and his hit Despacito, is the most viewed YouTube video of all time.
with 4.
2 billion views.
Give it up for Luis Fonsi! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) CHRISSY: Whoo! Welcome to the show.
Fonsi, Joan, welcome.
We're happy to have you here.
- Thank you.
- Thank you! Thank you.
Puerto Rico! Esta in la casa! Joan, you know what? I think, uh, we'll get this started with you.
You know what I mean? Fonsi, please have a seat in the VIP.
Joan, come on over.
- We're glad you're here.
- Thank you.
This is really happening.
I'm quite excited.
Yes, and the fans are too.
So, what will your first song be tonight? Um, the song is, uh It's very small.
Not well known.
It's just a very special song.
It holds a very special place in my heart.
And I just hope you guys like it as much as I do.
- Isn't that sweet? - (APPLAUSE) Put your hands together for Joan Smalls! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) DY (DESPACITO BY LUIS FONSI PLAYS) Oh Oh, no Oh, no, oh Oh, yeah Sí, sabes Que ya llevo un rato mirándote Tengo Que bailar contigo hoy - Oh! - DY Tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal Me voy acercando y voy Armando el plan Solo con pensarlo Se acelera el pulso Oh, yeah Ya, ya me está gustando más De lo normal Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más Esto hay Que tomarlo sin ningún apuro Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja Que Te diga cosas Al oído Para Que Te acuerdes Si no estás conmigo Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes De tu laberinto Y hacer De tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito Sube, sube, sube, sube Quiero ver bailar tu pelo - LL: Hey! - Quiero ser tu ritmo Que Le enseñes a mi Boca Tus lugares favoritos Favorito, favorito, baby Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas De peligro Hasta provocar tus gritos Y Que olvides tu apellido Despacito (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) CHRISSY: Yes! Oh my God, Joan Smalls looking like the emoji girl.
And most of those models can't dance.
Tell me that Joan Smalls cannot dance.
No, Joan Smalls was doing her thing.
So, so Joan what kinda gamesmanship were you employing by, you know, using Fonsi's song against him - on Lip Sync Battle? - I mean it was quite easy! You know, the irony of it.
I'm going up against one of the most popular songs in the world right now.
I see what you're doing there, I see what you're doing.
Actually show you how it's done.
- Basically.
- (CROWD GROANS) Okay.
Yeah, that was definitely serious.
Alright, so you know what, Joan, you can chill in the VIP.
Fonsi, ven aqui.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) I'm intimidated now.
Welcome.
So Fonsi, what did you choose as your first song? Well, I think this song is just about the lyric.
It's like poetry.
I mean, it's really deep.
I want you guys to check it out, listen to it, and sing with me.
So you ready to go deep? - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - Ladies and gentlemen make some noise for Fonsi! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ( TUBTHUMPING BY CHUMBAWUMBA PLAYS) I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down - Pissin' the night away - Pissing.
He's pissing.
Pissin' the night away He drinks a whiskey drink He drinks a vodka drink He drinks a lager drink He drinks a cider drink He sings the songs that remind him of the good times He sings the songs that remind him of the better times - (MOUTHING) - Oh, Danny boy Danny boy, Danny boy I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down Don't cry for me Next door neighbor I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Wow! - Oh my God.
- FONSI: That was a workout.
Okay.
I need some oxygen after that.
What does that song even mean? I have no idea.
I love it.
- You went pee.
- "I get knocked down, - "I get up again.
" - (CHRISSY LAUGHING) "You're never gonna keep me down.
" This is gonna be a freaking stiff competition.
I can tell right now.
This is amazing.
Definitely, definitely.
- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - So Joan what did you think of Fonsi's performance? Um, it was alright.
(LAUGHTER) You you sound very excited.
No, I was, I was, I was.
I'm just trying not to show it.
- (LAUGHTER) - Alright, okay.
Alright, so Fonsi, you can have a seat.
- Okay! - Next to Joan in the VIP.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Yeah, so Fonsi and Joan are bringing the flavor, and this battle is off to a thrilling start.
The fire is about to get lit on this hot, hot night.
Don't move.
This is Lip Sync Battle, my love.
No question.
Lip Sync Battle! I get knocked down But I get up again You're never gonna keep me down I get knocked down But I get up again Lip Sync Battle is back, and Joan Smalls is about to get her performance on.
Let's see how she plans to catwalk her way to a possible LSB championship.
- PHOTOGRAPHER: Hot stuff! - (CAMERA CLICKING) Having to learn everything super quick, on the drop of a dime, that was the biggest challenge.
- JOAN: So - There's four of them.
- So four starting to - To the left.
- To the left.
- Right.
Left.
Right.
Like my feet are gonna hurt today.
But it's it's well worth it.
- This is so awesome! - (WOMAN LAUGHING) How are you doing? - Good, good.
- Que bueno, Que bueno.
- Y tu? - Bien, bien.
(SPEAKS SPANISH) (SPEAKS SPANISH) (BOTH LAUGHING) I'm most nervous about Luis Fonsi, actually.
(LAUGHS) - MAN: Why? - Um, no, I'm just kidding.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I'll be walking down the street with my belt on, be like, "I beat a supermodel.
" If you get it.
- When, when.
- If, if.
It's a big if.
Luis Fonsi (SPEAKS SPANISH) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) ( BLACK BEATLES BY RAE SREMMURD PLAYS) That girl is a real crowd pleaser Small world, all her friends know of me Know me Young bull livin' like an old geezer Quick release the cash, watch it fall slowly Frat girls still tryna get even Haters mad for whatever reason Smoke in the air, binge drinking They lose it when the DJ drops the needle Getting so gone I'm not blinkin' What in the world was I thinkin'? New day, new money to be made - There is nothin' to explain - Oh! Black Beatle, cream seats in the Regal Rockin' John Lennon lenses, like to see 'em spread eagle Took a to the club and let her party on the table Screamin', "Everybody's famous!" Like clockwork, I blow it all - And get some more - (LAUGHING) Get you somebody that can do both Black Beatles got the babes belly rollin' She think she love me I think she trollin' That girl is a real crowd pleaser Small world, all her friends know of me Know me Young bull livin' like an old geezer Quick release the cash, watch it fall slowly Slowly Smoke in the air, binge drinkin' They lose it when the DJ drops the needle (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - LL: Damn! - CHRISSY: Yes! LL: Mannequins came to life, didn't they? Look at the mannequin! Fly, mannequin! - Whoo! - Yeah! Oh, that was such a good song choice, too! I was scared, I saw a hole in her pants, and I was like, "Your pants are gonna fall off.
" And then they ripped off, and I loved it.
(LAUGHTER) My stripper dreams came true tonight, guys.
Thank you.
Oh, it was our absolute pleasure.
- Believe me.
- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) So, I-I mean you're a model and that that was like a mannequin challenge for you, so what does it feel like up here? The crowd, you guys, are incredible.
You guys give me so much energy! I love you for that, um yeah, it's like a party.
- It is, right? - Basically.
Yeah.
It is.
It's amazing, it's amazing.
So Fonsi, I mean what was your favorite part of that performance? Oh, you know when they ripped off her clothes.
- I was like, "Oh, that's it!" - (LAUGHTER) Yeah, I'm done! So, so basically, you wanna forfeit? - No.
- Is that what it is? No, no, no, no, no, no.
Despacito, despacito.
- JOAN: Despacito! - CHRISSY: Oh! Take it easy, girl.
(LAUGHING) So Joan - Officer.
- Yes? You can head over to the VIP.
- Great job.
Make some noise! - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) I love a good department store dance party.
There was nothing small about Joan's performance.
And Fonsi is next to take the stage, and who knows what tricks he has up his sleeve to light it up.
This show is muy caliente, baby! It's Lip Sync Battle.
That girl is a real crowd pleaser Small world, all her friends know of me - (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - LSB is back, and Fonsi is in the on-deck circle ready to give the audience something unforgettable.
Let's check him out behind the scenes to get a sneak peek at what he's cooking up.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) This is like the first day of school.
- Hey! - FONSI: Hi.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- So nice to meet you.
- How you doing? - I'm doing good.
- You ready for this? - I think so.
I'm going up against a supermodel.
So I have been cleansing for 28 days.
Just drinking broccoli juice, and rehearsing 8 hours a day.
- (LAUGHS) - Thank you so much.
You guys are so awesome.
I have seen the belt.
And I already moved some furniture around in my house, and I already got, like, a podium built for it.
So, I-I need to win this pretty bad.
'Cause if not, you know, what am I gonna do with that? Of course, I wear, like, tennis shoes when I'm next to Joan Smalls.
You know? I need to wear, like, my boots.
You know? The ones that make me a little taller? That whole sexy thing is just not gonna work today.
'Cause there's no way I can beat her level of sexiness.
So I have to figure out a different angle to win.
'Cause, uh, sexiness is not gonna get me anywhere.
- (LAUGHING) - (CROWD CHEERING) - So exciting! - (JOAN SQUEALING) What's up, everybody? I'm Carson Weekly, and this is the number one music video of the week! - Check it out! - (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) It's gonna be me ( IT'S GONNA BE ME BY NSYNC PLAYS) Ooh, yeah You might been hurt, babe That ain't no lie You've seen them all come and go Oh I remember you told me That it made you believe in No man, no cry Maybe that's why Every little thing I do Never seems enough for you You don't want to lose it again But I'm not like them Baby, when you finally Get to love somebody - Somebody - Guess what It's gonna be me Ooh, yeah, yeah There comes a day When I'll be the one You'll see - It's gonna - Gonna - Gonna - Gonna It's gonna be me All that I do Is not enough for you It's gonna, it's gonna Every little thing I do Never seems enough for you You don't want to lose it again - Lose it - But I'm not like them Baby, when you finally Get to love somebody - Guess what - Guess what It's gonna be me (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) (LAUGHING) Oh! It's such an iconic dance.
Oh my gosh.
- Did you like it? - I more than liked it.
- Thanks for making me the favorite.
- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - (LAUGHING) - Whoo! - You guys like my hair? - Yo.
CHRISSY: Love! When you was on the bed, you looked like you was living your best life.
(VOICES OVERLAPPING) So Fonsi, you're a solo act.
What did it feel like being in a boy band? That was fun! That was fun for a minute, you know? I'm good friends I'm good friends with the guys from NSYNC.
Joey Fatone's my best friend.
So this is a I love you too, mama! (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) So you know, this is this is my way to celebrate our friendship, and and like you said, this was great music, great times.
Excellent, excellent.
- Excellent.
- (CHEERING) So Joan, what did you like best about Fonsi getting his Timberlake on? Um, the fact that he was flying (CROWD CHEERING) I mean, that's pretty cool.
- You stuck the landing when you jumped off the bed.
- You liked that? - He was like "uhhh.
" - I had to rehearse that.
Everybody noticed that.
"Oh, yay, he landed right.
" My my hammy's are gonna hurt tomorrow, - but it's all good.
- You'll be fine, you'll be fine.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) CHRISSY: Whoo! So Fonsi, you can head on over to the VIP.
- Okay.
- Hang out a little bit.
That was unbelievable.
So Fonsi and Joan, the pride of Puerto Rico, came, saw and represented.
Now the hard part.
Who gets to become the next champ of LSB? Ooh, baby, I can't wait to find out who gets to wrap this golden, jeweled fine leather belt around their waist.
Who's it gonna be? It's a nail biter.
It's LSB! It's Lip Sync Battle, baby.
Every little thing I do Never seems enough for you Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle.
Joan Smalls and Fonsi gave us an incredible night that we won't soon forget.
- (CHEERING) - Okay.
But look, there can be only one LSB champ.
You dig? Chrissy? - Yes? Ready.
- You ready? - Alright, let's do this.
- (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) Is the champ Joan Smalls? (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) Or is the Lip Sync Battle champ Fonsi? (WILD CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) And the winner of Lip Sync Battle tonight is Fonsi! So Fonsi how does it feel to be the new LSB champ? This feels great, and it's gonna feel even better when I take this harness off.
'Cause it's squeezing my It's squeezing my stuff.
But this is amazing.
I had an amazing time.
Thank you, guys! You guys are the best crowd ever.
- (CROWD CHEERING) - LL: Absolutely.
Alright, so Joan, you did a great job tonight.
Did you enjoy yourself? Amazing.
This is the best thing I could have asked for.
And a proud fellow Puerto Rican.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) - But like we discussed before, I get the weekends.
- (LAUGHING) - Okay, okay.
Alright, she gets the belt on the weekends, alright.
A big thanks to Fonsi and Joan Smalls for being part of our Lip Sync crew tonight.
And a big shout out to Lip Sync nation all over the world.
One love from me, LL Cool J, and Chrissy Teigen.
And remember, whatever you do in life, whatever you do, "Knock 'em out the box, L! Knock 'em out, L!" Every little thing I do Never seems enough for you You don't want to lose it again But I'm not like them Baby, when you finally LL: Hands up, hands up, hands up, hands up! Great job, guys.
Great job.

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