Lip Sync Battle (2015) s04e09 Episode Script

Michael Bolton vs. Pete Davidson

1 - Hit it! - Yeah, yeah! It takes two to make a thing go right Yeah, yeah! - It takes two to make it outta sight - Hit it I wanna rock right now I'm Rob Base and I came to get down I'm not internationally known But I'm known to rock a microphone Because I get stupid I mean outrageous Stay away from me If you're contagious Ladies love me, girls adore me I mean even the ones who never saw me Like one, two, three, get loose now - It takes two to make - (crowd cheering) - It takes two to make - Hit it - Yes! What's up, LSB? - (applause and cheering) Tonight is a battle between love songs and late night, and to take you on this epic journey, - your host, LL Cool J! - (cheering and applause) They call me Big L'y - Big silly - What? Big money - Big Billy - Whoo! When I'm sliding in them all, can ya hear me? I be sexing wit these bars - Lemme hear you say, "Yeah!" - CROWD: Yeah! - Say, "Hell yeah!" - CROWD: Hell yeah! - Now scream! - (crowd screams) She sparkles! She's remarkable! She is Chrissy Teigen! (cheering) Woo! - What up, Chris? - Yes! What up, LL? - Give it up! - (cheering) Welcome to Lip Sync Battle.
Now, tonight is gonna be a blast.
The contenders are in the back and they're ready to bring it, so if you're ready to get this thing started, make some noise.
(cheering and applause) - (dramatic music plays) - Let's get this battle started! He's a multiple Grammy award-winning singer, songwriter and social activist.
He's sold more than 75 million albums and singles worldwide.
Give it up for Michael Bolton! (cheering and applause) And he's made you laugh on his Comedy Central standup special, SMD.
He brings it to us every week on Saturday Night Live.
Make some noise for Pete Davidson! (cheering and applause) LL: Wow! What's up? Hi.
(laughter) Thanks for having me.
So welcome to the show.
We're glad to have you, happy to be here.
- And, uh, Chrissy, I mean - (Chrissy laughs) I love this.
It's great.
The swagger upon walking out, I enjoyed a lot.
Michael, especially.
(cheering and applause) Michael, you're gonna get things started, you come on over.
Pete, you have a seat in the VIP, please? - (cheering) - Mike, come on over.
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
Great to be here.
Thank you.
Amazing.
Amazing audience! - (cheering and applause) - So What's your first song gonna be? - I wanna surprise 'em.
- You wanna surprise 'em.
Okay, then.
- (cheering) - Ladies and gentlemen.
Uh, you know what? Mike, I heard you'll need a mike for Mike and uh you'd also like to, uh have an instrument.
We about to get it on.
Ladies and gentlemen, Michael Bolton! (cheering and applause) For all the times that you rain on my parade And all the clubs you get in using my name You think you broke my heart, oh girl, for goodness' sake What is this? You think I'm cryin' on my own, well, I ain't And I didn't wanna write a song 'Cause I didn't want anyone thinking I still care I don't, but you still hit my phone up My mama don't like you, and she likes everyone And I never like to admit that I was wrong And I've been so caught up in my job Didn't see what's goin' on But now I know I'm better sleepin' on my own 'Cause if you like the way you look that much Oh baby, you should go and love yourself - Hey! - And if you think That I'm still holdin' onto somethin' You should go and love yourself 'Cause if you like the way you look that much Oh baby, you should go and love yourself (cheering and applause) LL: Wow! (cheering and applause) - LL: Chrissy! - CHRISSY: That was beautiful.
Everyone who knows me knows that I'm a hardcore Belieber.
We had him on the show.
I'm not kidding, like, everyone kinda jokes about him.
He's he's pretty sexy, I will say.
And now the combination Michael/Bieber, I'm into it.
- I like it.
- You like that.
Justin Bolton, Michael Bieber.
(LL laughs) I like it.
So, um, Michael, what's it like being here right now, doin' a Justin Bieber song - on Lip Sync Battle? - (laughs) Um, it is so surreal and out-of-body to be here, because I've spent my whole life lip syncing with volume com you know, notes coming out of my face, and it took a lot of concentration, so and you guys were great.
- (laughter and cheering) - CHRISSY: It's an art.
Well, lemme just say that all of your millions of fans all over the world all the fans here, and all the millions of fans all over the world love seeing you here tonight, bein' vulnerable, sharin' with the world and havin' fun and playin' with us.
We appreciate you very much.
- Make some noise for him! - (cheering and applause) So, Pete, what'd you think about Michael's song choice? - He's (bleep) dope.
He's awesome.
- (laughter) He's a legend.
He's a legend.
He's adorable and nice.
He's awesome.
I can't beat that.
Look how cute he is.
- I'm not gonna (bleep) - (laughter) - Look at that.
- (cheering and applause) All right, Mike.
You chill out over in the VIP, hang out.
- (cheering and applause) - Pete! Pete, you come on over.
(cheering) LL: Pete? - PETE: Yeah? - What song did you choose? Uh, I chose a classic song, somethin' completely different from what he did.
- (laughter) - Yeah, a whole 'nother thing.
- A'ight.
- Yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen, Pete Davidson! (cheering and applause) (One Time playing) - Me plus you - I'mma tell you one time - One time - One time One time When I met you, girl, my heart went knock, knock Now them butterflies in my stomach won't stop, stop And even though it's a struggle, love is all we got So we gon' keep, keep climbin' to the mountaintop Your world is my world And my fight is your fight And my breath is your breath When you're hurt, I'm not right And, girl, you're my one love My one heart My one life for sure - Lemme tell you one time - Girl, I love, girl, I love you - I'mma tell you one time - Girl, I love, girl, I love you And I'mma be your one guy, you'll be my number one girl Always makin' time for you - I'mma tell you one time - Girl, I love, girl, I love you - I'mma tell you one time - Girl, I love, girl, I love you Shawty right there, she's got everything I need - And I'mma tell her one time - One time, one time Give you everything you need Down to my last dime - She makes, she makes - I'mma tell you one time She makes, she makes I'mma tell you one time - She, she - I'mma tell you one time Oh! - One time - One time (cheering) - (thuds) - (feedback) Whoo! (Chrissy laughing) That's my move.
- Oh, that move is yours.
- That's my move.
(laughs) Bring it around the world, Sponge Bob! - Wow! - LL: I love it.
- Chrissy? - (Chrissy laughs) It's my kinda night! Two Bieber jams! (laughs) Before the voice change.
I appreciate that, takin' it back.
What was it like bein' Justin Bieber for a couple of minutes? Uh, insanely embarrassing.
That was that was (laughs) That was very embarrassing for me.
I hope you liked it.
- (Chrissy laughs) - (cheering and applause) Pete, you have a seat in the VIP.
Make some noise for him! (cheering and applause) The first round was Bieberific.
But what else do Pete Davidson and Michael Bolton - have up their sleeve? - I can't wait to find out.
Lip Sync is a wonderful thing.
- Stay right there.
- Right there, baby.
And girl, you're my one love, my one heart, my one It takes two to make a thing go right Lip Sync Battle is back, and Michael Bolton, who's no stranger to rockin' crowds with a whole Lotta soul, is ready to bring that Grammy-winning energy - to LSB.
Let's check him out.
- (cheers and applause) Morning in beautiful suburbia.
(laughter) I have no idea what I'm doin', so I'm kind of a nervous wreck.
I'm really not, actually, so I'm in denial.
But as soon as I come out of denial I'm a nervous wreck.
(laughs) - (cheers and applause) - WOMAN: Yes! That felt good, right? MICHAEL: I can sing When a Man Loves a Woman all day or all night.
But here, you have to go By nature, I'm very competitive.
I'm gonna be, like, makin' faces at him and stuff during his performance.
- LL: Thanks for bein' here, man.
- Thanks for havin' me, man.
- You're gonna have a good time.
- I'm I'm gonna throw up.
I tried to jinx him, get into his head a little bit, but it didn't work.
He just kept saying four-letter words.
I gotta (bleep) and (bleep).
(laughs) Yeah No, I gotta pee and (bleep).
If I win, that's great.
If Pete wins that sucks.
(laughs) (cheers and applause) - (serene music playing) - (birds chirping) (music slows, stops) (Gangsta's Paradise playing) (laughter) As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left 'Cause I've been blastin' and laughin' so long That even my momma thinks that my mind is gone (laughing) But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of You better watch how you talkin' and where you walkin' Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk I really hate to trip, but I gotta loc As they croak I see myself in the pistol smoke Fool, I'm the kinda G the little homies wanna be like On my knees in the night, sayin' prayers in the street light Been spending most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise Been spending most their lives livin' in a gangsta's paradise We keep spending most our lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise We keep spending most our lives Livin' in a gangsta's paradise Tell me why are we so blind to see That the ones we hurt are you and me? Ahhhhhhhhhh (cheers and applause) Thank you.
Thank you, yeah.
Oh, thanks.
Thanks.
- Yo! - CHRISSY: What the hell? What? That got real dark.
(laughs) Oh my god.
I was like I heard birds chirping.
I was like, "This is gonna be cute.
" And then holy (bleep)! That was so awesome.
You took it in a whole different direction.
I mean, what was the mind set behind performing Coolio on Lip Sync Battle? Well, it it was Coolio but it's also Stevie Wonder.
- Yes, it is.
- That's that's close to my heart.
- Yes, it is.
- That's one of my great, inspiring singers.
And there's a and it's interesting, important social commentary, social observation.
- (cheers and applause) - Yo! - CHRISSY: Oh my god.
- Pete! Will you ever recover? That was awesome.
It's one of my favorite songs.
That was incredible.
I didn't expect that.
Did you guys expect that? - AUDIENCE: No! - I didn't expect that.
That was sick.
Good (bleep), dude.
(cheering and applause) Well, Mike, you can go over to the paradise of our VIP.
Have a seat, go have a seat.
Relax.
Great job.
Make noise for Michael Bolton! (cheering and applause) Nothing hotter than Michael Bolton leading the charge in Housewives Behaving Badly.
And it's not over, 'cause Pete Davidson's got somethin' to say when we come back.
He gets to sync it.
It's the vibe.
It's Lip Sync Battle.
- (cheering and applause) - Been spending most their lives Livin' in a gangsta' s paradise Been spending most It takes two to make a thing go right - (cheering and applause) - Lip Sync Battle returns, and Pete Davidson is a man of many characters.
But how will he do as a potential lip sync jam? Guess there's only one way to find out.
Hey, do you wanna walk through it? Yes.
This is the scariest thing I've ever done.
Like I'm I'm being very serious.
This is definitely the it's it's terrifying to lip sync and dance in front of people.
Yeah, that's right! That's how you do it! This is (bleep) nuts.
I'll do it live for sure.
I just don't wanna embarrass myself extra amount of times.
(laughs) Follow me to my dressing room.
Are you nervous about what we're about to do? This is terrifying.
- It's nerve-wracking.
- I've honestly never been more scared, - like, ser in all seriousness.
- MICHAEL: So it's not just me.
(bleep).
He can say (bleep), but I can't.
- (needle scratching) - Oh! You got Bolton to curse.
Hello, Mom.
- I'm Pete.
Very nice to meet you.
- How's it going, man? - How's it goin'? - Thank you for havin' me.
- Thank you for bein' here.
- Appreciate it.
I go with you? Thank you again.
- No.
- Not really? - No.
- (both laugh) I know, like, half the words to, like, one of them.
Hi, Michael Bolton.
It's an honor to do this with you.
I'm sure a lot of my aunts and grandparents are very excited.
Don't you dare.
You're psychologically messin' with me.
(laughs) - (cheering) - Lonely Island, Michael Bolton - Yeah - The night starts now Together on the track, the boys are back - (laughs) - The night starts now The night starts now, baby, roll with us Chickies snapping at the neck when we rolling up - Rollin' up - Club front doors ain't no holding up Black card at the bar like I gives a f - Come on - Ladies shifty-eyed when we walk into the set The fellas looking jealous, play that back and get wet - Yeah, yeah - Gun at my waist, shank in my sock You either get cut, get stuffed or get shot This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow Pirate so brave on the seven seas What? A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze Yeah, that was kind of weird, but we're back in the club Buying up the bar, so the groupies show us love - Keira Knightley - Mothaflipping ice man, I'm the top gunna - Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunna - Jack Sparrow Watch your girl, 'cause I ain't your mister nice guy More like the meet ya, take you home and you twice guy - Yeah, yeah - All dressed up with nowhere to run - I know I make you feel crazy when I - Now back to the good part From the day he was born, he yearned for adventure No Oh, Captain Jack giving them what-for - Hey - He's the pauper of the surf The jester of Tortuga But in Davy Jones locker just waitin' to get (bleep) Just waitin' to get (bleep) Okay, turns out Michael Bolton - is a major cinephile.
- You complete me.
Yep, yeah, okay.
(cheering and applause) LL: You complete me! CHRISSY: Yes! - Woo! - The isle of Tortuga Yo! These are the moments I live for on Lip Sync Battle, Michael Bolton in a gold chain, Pete Davidson in a Michael Bolton wig.
LL: That was great.
How did it feel, doing a song that features Michael Bolton in front of Michael Bolton? I mean, that's one of my favorite songs.
I heard that when I was, like, 17, and it was my favorite Lonely Island song.
And I was, like this is like a dream come true.
He's the man.
That's the funniest (bleep) video ever, so.
(cheering and applause) Yeah.
So, Mike, you hopped on that Lonely Island track, right? Did you ever think that it would go that viral, just be what it became? Nobody knew it was going that big.
Nobody knew.
But thank you.
Thank I think it's I think, with this performance, it should pass 200 million views, so - (laughs) - Let's go.
Absolutely.
So, Mike could you just just one time for me, just humor me with that just hit that "Isle of Tortuga" one time? The isle of Tortuga (cheering and applause) Pete! (laughs) Pete, you can (laughs) You can have a seat in the VIP.
Mike, you can go on over to the VIP as well.
- (cheering and applause) - Oh, man.
Well, I thought I'd seen everything on this show.
Then Pete Davidson and Michael Bolton came through and took LSB to a whole 'nother level.
When we come back, the moment of truth.
Championship time.
Yep, and the winner gets home with this 14-karat gold, baby.
I mean, I don't know the karats, but this belt is gold, and it's begging to be wrapped around somebody's waist.
Excited? Me too.
- It's LSB.
- It's LSB.
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow It takes two to make a thing go right - (cheering and applause) - Welcome back to Lip Sync Battle.
Now, tonight we laughed and became Beliebers.
Thanks to the amazing Michael Bolton and the hilarious Pete Davidson.
Great job tonight.
Uh, Chrissy time to find out who the Lip Sync Battle champ is gonna be tonight.
- (dramatic music plays) - All right.
Ladies and gentlemen is the Lip Sync Battle champ Michael Bolton? (cheering and applause) Or is the Lip Sync Battle champ Pete Davidson? (louder cheering and applause) And the winner of Lip Sync Battle tonight is Pete Davidson! (cheering and applause) You're the new Lip Sync Battle champ.
What's it feel like to have the belt around your waist? Embarrassing.
(laughter) Thank you for having me.
(laughter) This show's all about fun, it's all about good times.
- We hope you had a good time tonight.
- It was awesome.
- Did you have a good time tonight? - Thank you, I had a great time.
Thanks thanks to you, and thanks to this amazing audience.
(cheering and applause) Okay, so, a big thanks to Michael Bolton and Pete Davidson for being part of our Lip Sync crew tonight.
And a big shout out to Lip Sync nation.
We feel the love you give us, and we're givin' you the love right back.
One love from me, LL Cool J, and my girl Chrissy Teigen, and remember, whatever you do in life, whatever you do, "Knock 'em out the box, L! Knock 'em out, L!" This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow Pirate so brave on the seven seas A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga Raven locks sway on the ocean breeze Yeah, that was kinda weird, but we're back in the club Buying up the bar so the groupies show us love Mothaflipping ice man, I'm the top gunna