Lost In Space (1965) s03e18 Episode Script
The Time Merchant
[ Thunder Crashing .]
Warning! Warning! Cosmic squall line now at 10 kilometers.
North-northwest.
Radiation level increasing.
Gale-force winds expected.
William? William, where are you? William.
William! What on earth are you doing with that contraption? Oh, hi, Dr.
Smith.
I'm waiting for that cosmic storm to get closer in order to try this out.
You see, when it hits, we should be able to see cosmic particles shoot back and forth between the two poles.
This is supposed to slow them down.
You know, kind of trap them.
- I see.
- Now all we have to do is wait for the cosmic lightning-- [ Thunder Crashing .]
Well! And here it is now! How dare you interrupt the journey of the great Chronos! Oh, I ought to reverse your time tapes! How dare you trap me! Y-You see, sir, i-it was an experiment.
We were trying to trap some cosmic particles.
Not "we," my dear sir-- "he.
" A boyish prank.
An immature mistake.
I'm sure you understand.
Turn off that machine! Release me! William, I have a feeling that we should not turn him loose all at once.
[ Groaning .]
Don't turn the machine off.
Just turn it down a little.
So, it wasn't an accident after all.
You deliberately set out to trap me! You're going to ask for a ransom.
Isn't that it? No, sir.
You see, we were just-- William, let me handle this.
I take umbrage at your insinuation, sir! We are not bandits, and we have no interest at all in ransom.
How some ever, you did disrupt our experiment-- that is to say, his experiment-- and I'm sure that you'll agree that that is worth a little something, Mr.
, uh-- I'm afraid I didn't catch your name.
You dare to bargain with Chronos the Time Merchant? Oh, if I could get free I would reduce your time spans a creature who can control time.
I think we should turn him loose.
After all, we did catch him by mistake.
William, you have no head for business.
Don't you realize who he is? What he can pay? He can make us immortal.
We can live forever.
No.
I think we should let Dad handle this.
- William! - I would advise you to stay inside the cave.
[ Thunder Crashing .]
What have you done to them? What's happening? There's no one running the factory.
The time tapes have-- have gone amok.
They're running backwards and sideways and upside down! All right.
If I turn you loose-- Then everything would be normal.
William, I will not allow you to do it.
We will not let him go! We have not made our financial arrangement yet.
Come along.
We must go.
- Go where? - Where are you taking him? Why, back to the factory, of course.
Young man, you have inconvenienced me.
You caused me to lose time, and I have to make it up.
I'm sorry.
I can't go anywhere with you.
There are no child labor laws in my factory.
Oh, please.
Please don't harm him.
Please! - William! - Come along.
William! William! Warning! Cosmic squall line is now at five kilometers! - Where's Will? - I don't know.
- A terrible creature took him.
- What creature? His name was Chronos.
A most unreasonable being.
- Where did he take him? - Through the wires.
Warning! Warning! Extra-dimensional force field.
- What kind? - I do not know.
I could have lived forever.
"Smith the Immortal.
" What a pleasant, unassuming ring that has to it.
I ought to wring your neck! But that'll wait.
Now I want some answers.
- Who was this creature, and what was he doing here? - I've told you all I know.
He was a time merchant.
His name was Chronos.
Dr.
Chronos.
He got caught in Will's cosmic particle trap.
The dimensional opening is beginning to close.
All right.
I'm going after them.
You'll come with me.
Are you sure you would not like to take Dr.
Smith and leave me behind? Now don't you start! And as for you, let the others on the ship know what's happening and sit tight.
- Understood? - That's all that's left for me to do-- to sit tight and wait for creaking old age to overtake me.
All right.
I'll go first.
Oh, the pain, the pain.
With just a little luck, I could have stayed in my present state of perfection forever.
Better to rust slowly than to risk instant oblivion.
Mine not to reason why-- Yours but to hold your tongue and go! [ Thunder Crashing .]
Good heavens.
I'm alone and I'm frightened! - Wait for me! - [ Thunder Crashing .]
[ Cries Out .]
Wait for me! Wait! - Wait for me! - I told you to wait in the cave and contact the ship.
I had to come.
I wouldn't stay behind and shirk my duty.
Warning! Warning! Hold your fire! I don't think he intends to attack.
That is Dr.
Chronos.
I don't have time for visitors! You'll have to wait.
Come on.
Professor Robinson, I presume.
Dr.
Chronos, we'll get right down to it.
Now what happened in that cave was an accident.
You had no right to bring my son here.
And now you're gonna send us back.
But I can't do that, can I? He caused me to lose a lot of valuable time, and I must be paid back.
[ John .]
I'm not offering you any alternatives.
Now, I don't want to use violence, but I will if I have to.
I want what's due me.
Nothing more.
- And I will have it.
- [ Beeping .]
Oh, this business! [ Will .]
What's happening there, Dr.
Chronos? That is a small planet in the Omega galaxy.
Fine people, but shameful time wasters.
And now, they've used it all up.
This is the only part of my business that I don't enjoy.
But it must be done.
You've just destroyed an entire civilization.
Don't you feel any remorse for that? They did it to themselves! Everybody has a time tape.
But if they run hither and thither, to and fro back and forth, never slowing down for a moment they use their time tapes up all the faster.
And that's all there is to it.
But here is something you might want to remember.
I always do what I have to do and I never, never let sentiment interfere with business.
Well, that's very admirable of you, Doctor.
Very admirable.
Very admirable.
My dear sir, you seem to have everybody's time tape here.
- You must surely have mine as well.
- Certainly.
Oh, to return to Earth, to the days of my youth.
Oh, joy, oh, bliss.
How much would that cost? Could I travel now and pay later? Sorry.
The company transporter box is reserved for certified customers.
I'm not a tour agent.
I don't deal in time travel.
However, I could make you younger.
But I don't suppose you'd be interested in that.
- Quite the contrary, dear sir.
- You're not making any deals with him, Smith.
That is entirely his prerogative, not yours.
What assurance do I have that you can do it? Why, demonstrations are free! - You are under no obligation.
How do you spell your name? - Zachary.
That's the first name.
Z-A-C-H-A-R-Y.
Smith.
- As in Smith.
- And your age, in Earth years? - Twenty-seven.
- That will be verified.
But it doesn't matter.
Ah! Now.
Here is your tape.
Now, I shall pick a place at random.
That should convince you.
Hmm? Roll tape.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
Good evening, all.
Your replacements have arrived.
Everything is under control.
[ Don .]
Replacements, Smith? What are you talking about? Major, surely you're not gonna continue to deny me the privilege of sharing in the responsibilities.
I am rested.
You are not.
Ergo, it's time for you to turn the controls over to me.
Whew! If you think I'm gonna put our lives in your hands, Smith-- Well, Don, I'm sorry, but for once, I agree with him.
You show rare good judgment, madam.
Not to worry, Major.
My assistant and I are quite competent.
All right.
We'll give it a try.
John and I have to make lab checks on these transistor circuits before we can trust the scanner anyway.
Smith, hold the course at 270.
That's all you have to do to avoid the meteor showers.
Child's play, Major.
All right.
There you are, now.
It's all set.
- Good night.
- [ Both .]
Good night.
I'll be back in five minutes.
You hold that course steady.
- Never fear, Smith is here! - [ Scoffs .]
Ah! Now then, there's really nothing to it.
[ Robot .]
I would advise you to keep your hands on the controls.
You are already two astral degrees off course.
Silence, you jabbering jackanapes! I intend to be a lot more than two degrees off course before I'm through.
I'm heading us back towards Earth! But we do not know where Earth is.
Perhaps you don't, but I do.
My instinct tells me we must go to the left.
Warning! Warning! Meteor shower! - Move aside, Smith! Let go! - I can't! We'll all be killed! I've had enough of that, sir, if you please.
How some ever, there is one thing that I would particularly like to see.
If it is not too much trouble, could you set the machine for October 16, 1997 in the evening, about 8:00? - [ Chronos .]
One more demonstration, coming up.
- How much would that cost? You couldn't get it cheaper if someone else could offer you the service, which they can't.
No one's buying anything, Dr.
Chronos.
Hold him off.
I mean it! Now move away from there, and then we'll talk.
We'll stay where we are till you listen to our terms.
You dare put yourself against the great Chronos? Why in the flick of an eyelid, I could make you an old man or a crawling, crying little baby.
Not without damaging your time machine.
Now we want our freedom and nothing more.
But surely, sir, you can see that I have to come out of this transaction with something to show for it.
- A small price? - Price? What price? I have a very good market for time on your planet, Earth.
The people down there are always putting things off until they end up with no time left to do the things they ought to do.
And then they come to me.
Now, the two of you have nice, long time tapes.
Oh, I checked.
Wait! What are you doing? [ Cuckooing .]
Now he's done it! Oh, I should have snipped his tape the moment I first laid eyes on him! - Well, where has he gone? - Earth! He has sent himself back to Earth! Back through time-- My time! He has ducked out without so much as leaving a deposit! That deadbeat! But you are going to pay for it.
You are going to have to settle his account as well as your own.
- Oh? - Oh, indeed you will.
So expect no trade-ins, no bargains, no down payments.
I am going to take every bit of time you have left.
Do you hear me? Every little tick-tock, tick-tock! [ Robot .]
I will give my life to save the Robinsons.
My time is your time, Dr.
Chronos.
Oh, nonsense! You don't have any time as such.
You're a machine.
Manufactured, fabricated and quite timeless.
Now get over here and turn that crank.
I only have two hands.
- He's not going anywhere.
- Well, he'd better, before everything flies to pieces.
Now look-- I propose a truce.
- A truce? - Yes.
You assist me in this emergency and I will desist in any moves against you.
- Fair enough? - Give him a hand.
Ah! Here, boy.
Come on.
Go ahead.
Keep that thing moving.
We need auxiliary power.
What's happening to that machine? All the related time tracks are shifting to meet any probability.
Unless he does exactly what he did before he could change everything.
He could cause utter havoc! That scoundrel! I should have known better than to trust anybody from Earth.
- Can't you bring him back? - Not without wrecking the machine.
But we can observe him.
I now invite your divided attention to the rectangular monochromatic screen on which to view the basic past.
All the tapes of our library will be shown here.
And of course, on the oval screen you will see the reconstituted past alive and as it happens, in glorious polycolor.
Gentlemen, on the rectangular screen.
Am I okay, Doctor? Did I pass? - You'll do.
- Did you hear that, Mom? I'm okay.
I remember that.
Dr.
Smith was examining me right before liftoff.
Dr.
Smith? Back on Earth? In 1997? Unfortunately, yes.
He is in that examining room right at this very moment.
Observe the oval screen for the reconstituted past.
- [ Cries Out .]
- [ Man .]
This is Alpha Control.
Zero minus one hour and 14 minutes and holding.
Alpha Control? Alpha Control? I've made it! Terra firma! Earth, sweet Earth! Dear, wonderful place! Smith, what are you doing on the floor? The floor? Yes.
Yes, of course.
The floor.
You see, I, uh-- I dropped my pencil and I simply cannot find it anywhere.
You are General Squires, are you not? It's been such a long time! It's been exactly 15 minutes since I ordered you to uncrate that robot - and get him aboard the Jupiter 2! - The Robot? Yes.
Yes, indeed.
The robot.
I shall attend to it immediately.
Sergeant! Snap to and uncrate that robot! Yes, sir.
It'll be undone in just a moment.
Affirmative.
Affirmative, my foot! I'd forgotten how delightful everything was before you became so insolent, you pusillanimous pip-squeak! - Are you all right, Smith? - Oh, yes, indeed, sir.
Fit as a fiddle.
In the pink and in the prime.
I hope so.
I must say, your efficiency isn't all it should be lately.
- You had better shape up.
- Yes, sir.
Shape up, indeed! Such presumption.
Sergeant, wheel it out of here.
I seriously doubt that it will be used, but you might as well take it to the ready room.
And then stand by.
I shall require your services.
You don't think they'll use the robot, sir? This is part of their basic equipment.
I mean, that thing cost a bundle.
That is a sure invitation to a congressional hearing.
Only if they make the flight which at this point seems extremely dubious.
You see, I happen to have some "tick-tock" secret information.
Well, what are you waiting for? Careful.
Careful.
Careful.
Careful.
[ Man On TV .]
The countdown is still at one hour and 14 minutes and holding.
Monitors will continue to make a visual sweep of the Launch Pad 3.
Hydraulic unit 163, report to control.
One hour and 14 minutes and holding.
[ Buzzes .]
All control personnel will maintain hold procedures until further notice.
- Uh, yes, sir? - Sergeant I like a snack while I'm watching television.
So would you be good enough to trot along to the commissary for me? Let me see.
I think I will have something light.
A steak sandwich, thick and rare, of course, with a lovely stuffed baked potato.
And a crisp green salad with Roquefort dressing-- Ho-- Ho-- Hold it.
Hold it.
- Ready? - Uh, yes, sir.
And for dessert, two chocolate éclairs with three scoops of ice cream-- different flavors, of course.
And Sergeant for an appetizer, bring me a double order of pickled herring.
[ Sighs .]
Yes, sir.
- And hurry! - Uh, y-yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
He should know better than that.
Pickled herring always gives him indigestion.
You can all stop working.
The machine has made its compensation.
What will happen if Dr.
Smith doesn't get on the ship? Well, his added weight caused us to drift off course in the first place, Son.
Now with him not aboard, we may wind up at Alpha Centauri.
The ship will be destroyed by an uncharted asteroid.
And when it is, all of you will cease to exist, just like that! That's only true if Smith remains behind.
Which he will.
It's become obvious he always gets what he wants.
Even from the great Chronos! There must be some way of getting him on that ship.
- Can we send him a message? - A dream! An impossible dream! And even if we could, I doubt if that deadbeat would listen.
Then we have to bring him back.
I told you once, son-- That is impossible.
It would destroy the machine.
So it appears that, uh I will have to salvage what I can.
So that's how you honor your truces.
There's no such thing as an honorable truce.
- That's not fair! - Well, I doubt if anyone will be complaining to the intergalactic Better Business Bureau.
Now, the whole thing is really quite painless.
You will wait over there until I find out exactly where you are in your time tape and then snip, snip! Unfortunately, uh, when I do that, you will cease to exist.
But your tape will be added to somebody else's life, so it won't be a complete loss.
You're absolutely mad if you think you can get away with all that! Since I make the rules I can get away with anything.
We will take the boy first.
His time tape is on the block - racked up and ready! - Oh, yeah? [ Chronos Whistles .]
- Dad! - Perfidy! Deception! And infamy! Robot! No! Let him go! Take me, but let him go! There's an old saying in the time business: "Never settle for one when you can have two.
" So I have nothing to gain by further discussion, do I? Hmm? I'm sorry, my boy, but this is business.
And business is business.
- Cut that tape and you miss everything.
- Ha! All right.
Give me a few precious seconds of your time.
You could gain years by it.
Now if Smith doesn't get back to the ship-- all right, we've lost.
But if he does, we'll all have time to spare.
Now if you let us try to get him back to that ship I'll make a deal with you.
I'll sign a contract giving you three years of my life.
[ Chronos .]
Well! A most interesting proposition.
How do you propose to do that? Will and I remain here as hostages.
Send the Robot.
If anyone can get Smith, he can.
Well, let me see.
Two people.
Four months apiece.
Duplicate the dividend.
Hmm.
Might be done.
Might be done.
But it will cost you fifteen years! - Three and a half! - Ten.
- Four.
- Seven.
- Five and done! - Done.
Sign.
[ Whistles .]
- Are you all right? - I'm fine, Dad.
But you shouldn't have done that.
Five years! Well, all our lives depend upon getting Smith back to the ship.
Your mother and your sisters as well as our own.
Egadzooks! Twenty-one jewels.
Ah, there we are! Hold the referee! That was a low blow.
I demand a recount! I was robbed.
Oh-ho-ho-ho.
You're in fine shape.
Your escapement was a little off-balance, but you're in quite good shape.
Yes, quite good shape indeed.
How about you-- 21 jewels! - Oh, he'll make the trip quite handily.
Mm-hmm.
- What trip? - Where am I going? - You're going back to Earth, Robot.
You've got to get Dr.
Smith on the ship before liftoff.
Well, it will only take a moment to make the necessary settings.
All right.
Now when were you put aboard the Jupiter 2? About 30 minutes before blastoff.
[ John .]
And prior to that, you were in the ready room.
- Yes, I was kept in the ready room.
- Good.
I was there.
[ Sobbing .]
Excuse me, Will Robinson.
May I borrow your handkerchief? You shouldn't cry, Robot.
You'll rust your transistors.
- [ Sobbing .]
- Are you afraid to go? - Is that why you're crying? - No, Will Robinson.
But once I leave here, we will be separated in time.
I will never see you again.
- Dad, is that right? - It may or may not be true, Son.
I don't know.
Well, then he can't go! We'll find another solution.
Everything's ready.
All aboard.
It is okay, Will Robinson.
I will go.
Here, Will, and thank you.
Just remember one thing, Will Robinson: New friends may be silver but your old friend was titanium stainless steel alloy with genuine chrome plate.
- Good-bye, Professor Robinson.
- We won't forget you, Robot.
- And remember, you only have an hour to get him aboard.
- I will do my best.
Farewell.
Come, come, come, come! [ Cuckooing .]
And another satisfied customer hits the space! [ Will .]
Can we watch on your view screen? You bet your sweet life span you can.
Why, I wouldn't miss this for all the time tapes in China.
Roll tape.
Go after Dr.
Smith, Robot.
Apparently, the trip erased his tapes.
He's as he was in the beginning.
Well, I said I would send him there.
I didn't guarantee safe delivery.
Well, here's another fine mess you've got me into.
- You've got to send me.
It's our only chance.
- Impossible.
It would take too much power.
Besides, you could only stay on Earth one minute before the power flux bounced you back.
Well, then, send me.
I'm small, and I wouldn't take much power.
I could fix the Robot and come right back.
Please, Dad? the Robot would listen to me.
I know he would.
- All right.
Send him.
- It'll be very expensive.
Packaging, promotion, propulsion-- oh-ho! It'll cost you another year! I'm not going to quibble with you.
You're wasting time! Very well.
Into the transporter with you.
All aboard! Now, you'll have exactly 30 electro-counters down there on Earth.
I've set it for you.
Here.
- Thirty electro-counters.
That's, uh-- - That's two minutes.
Two minutes.
Yes, sir.
- Are you all ready? - Yes, sir.
Stand by for Operation Bounce Back.
Robot! Are you all right? Speak to me! All circuits functioning.
Sensor panel, report as follows-- Robot, I don't want a sensor report.
Don't you remember me? I'm Will! - Will Robinson! - That does not compute.
Don't you remember why you came here? You came to talk to Dr.
Smith! Dr.
Smith-- It's not your fault.
You did the best you could.
He probably wouldn't have listened anyway.
Robot, we won't be seeing each other again.
And, uh, you probably won't understand this because you're not programmed for emotion yet but I love you, Robot.
- I want you to know that.
- Love? - Will Robinson? - Do you understand? Can you remember me now? It does not compute.
[ Ringing .]
If I had more time, I could make you remember.
But I don't! I have to go now! Good-bye, old friend.
All sensor circuits, green and go.
Ready for utilization.
Please excuse me.
I beg your pardon.
[ Man Over P.
A.
.]
Astronauts in the following order will enter freezing tubes and prepare for launch.
Will Robinson, Penny Robinson, enter tubes.
They never wanted me along anyway.
They were always threatening to leave me somewhere.
- They'll be much happier this way.
- Dr.
Smith.
Never do that again, you bubbleheaded booby! You frightened me out of ten years' growth! Forgive the outburst, dear friend.
I can see that your faulty connections have finally begun to make some sense.
You've come back to stay with me.
You called me a bubbleheaded booby.
I am beginning to remember.
Pull yourself together, ninny.
You'll miss all the excitement.
They're getting ready to blast off very soon.
[ Man .]
Zero minus 50 minutes and counting.
We shall spend a superlative life together here, you and I, I promise you.
I shall program you beautifully and you will find suitable and lucrative employment to maintain us both in the proper style.
Program-- Program! It all comes back to me now.
I am not here to look for a job.
I came to take you aboard the ship.
- This is imperative! - Imperative, indeed! Wild horses couldn't drag me aboard that ship! It is impossible to reason with you.
Therefore, I must take you aboard by force! Stay away from me, you addlepated armor-bearer! I'm not going! - I am sorry, but you must go! - No, I mustn't! There is no time for playing games! - I advise you to come peacefully.
- You'll never take me alive! Your condition is unimportant.
You must be on that ship at blastoff! Let me tell you-- my condition is my own business! - Come along! - [ Shouting .]
- Atten-hut! - Oh! Colonel.
Uh, Major.
Uh, General! Smith, you will consider yourself under arrest.
There have been reports regarding your threats against this mission.
- Do you have anything to say for yourself? - I confess.
I confess everything.
Arrest me.
Put me into protective custody.
Only, save me from him! What's that robot doing here? It's supposed to be in the ready room.
I don't know.
Beats me, sir.
We just uncrated him and took him down there a half hour ago.
He's run amok.
He's persecuting me.
You must protect me! Smith, this machine threatened you? Yes, he did.
Speak up, you treasonous tyrant.
Tell him! Ha! He's trying to pretend the cat has his tongue.
The silent treatment, is it? Well, I couldn't care less.
I'm safe now.
Sergeant, put Dr.
Smith under arrest.
Confine him to these quarters.
Yes, sir.
Corporal, put Dr.
Smith under arrest.
Confine him to these quarters.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Farewell, you rusty Rasputin.
If I never see you again, it'll be much too soon.
Sergeant, I accept confinement not only quietly but gratefully as well.
Well, Dr.
Smith, that's awfully nice of you.
And I sure do appreciate it, sir.
Would you like some of my dessert? It's lovely.
No, thank you, sir.
You don't get any, ninny.
That's the way it happens sometimes.
A man can stand just so much strain, and then - [ Snaps Fingers .]
- he cracks.
Yes, sir.
Get a winch up here and have that robot put aboard the Jupiter 2.
Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.
This is Green Room 7.
Get me Security 3.
Security? This is Sergeant Roger.
Code 58 in Green Room 7.
Oh, and we got a robot to move.
Would you send me up a winch? Not that kind of "wench"! A G.
I.
winch.
W-I-N-C-H.
Now get it up here on the double! Do something, Robot.
You can't let us down now.
Do something! Unfortunately, you gambled and lost.
It is now time to pay the piper! We have until the Jupiter 2 takes off.
That's our agreement.
I'm holding you to it! Very well.
You have until the Jupiter 2 blasts off.
- But not another second longer.
- You're our only chance, Robot.
Don't let us down now.
- Stay where you are! - Please stand back.
I do not wish to hurt you.
But there is something I must do.
Boy, what a right hook! - Please excuse me.
- Hush! You're making so much noise.
[ Man .]
Zero minus six minutes and counting.
Come with me, Dr.
Smith.
Hurry! Begone.
You're interrupting my television news program.
Also my dessert.
Well, unhand me, sir! If you think that physical violence will coerce me into going you're making a great mistake.
I am only here to appeal to your better instincts, Dr.
Smith - if you have any.
- Spare me the sarcasm.
I'm following the better course of action.
It was my added weight that caused the Jupiter 2 to go astray the first time.
Don't you remember? Now they will be able to go to Alpha Centauri without any trouble at all.
No.
Unless you board the ship, the Jupiter 2 will be destroyed within four months! - Stuff and nonsense.
I don't believe it.
- It is true.
Chronos projected the alternative.
The ship will be destroyed by an uncharted asteroid.
Be that as it may, there's nothing I can do to help them.
Besides, I owe it to myself to stay here and start life over and I'm inviting you to stay here with me.
I have found that my feelings are greater than my programming.
- I must share the fate of my friends.
- Wait! Wait! Please don't go.
Stay here with me.
Start a new life.
- The price is too high.
- I understand.
I wish I could be as honorable as you.
But I am a weak man, full of human frailty.
I sometimes wish I could be different but I cannot seem to manage it.
- Forgive me, dear friend.
- I forgive you.
[ Man .]
Zero minus four minutes.
All personnel clear the launch area.
I must go.
I may have trouble getting aboard as it is.
Good-bye.
Corporal of the guard! Please excuse me.
Farewell, Dr.
Smith.
What has he done? Striking a guard is a serious offense! Oh, good heavens! They'll think that I did it.
[ Man .]
Freezing tubes activated.
Suspended animation complete.
Penny.
Judy.
My dear William! No! I can't do it! I can't! Booby! Wait for me! Wait for me! Even if Smith makes it, I don't trust Chronos to keep his word.
Now the minute the ship blasts off you distract him, I'll disarm him.
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
Red alert.
Code 58.
Seal off security Sections 9 and 10.
The prisoner's escaped.
And stop that robot.
He's very dangerous.
Beware of his right hook.
Red alert! Red alert! On your feet, Corporal! Red alert! [ Sergeant .]
Smith! Smith! Shh! [ Man .]
Zero minus three minutes.
All tracking stations report to control and switch to "go" positions for liftoff.
We'll never make it.
They'll surely catch us.
According to my computer, the odds are 50-50.
If the hatch is still open, we can run in before they intercept us.
Correction.
According to my internal tote board the odds are now three-to-one against.
Spare me the aimless chatter, you bookmaking booby.
We need a plan.
And I think I have just found it.
You'd better keep the other side of the launch pad covered.
We gotta find 'em.
Maybe we'd better borrow the hound dogs from the county sheriff.
- Take off, Corporal! - [ Clattering .]
Who goes there? Clutter control unit to clean the pad after the launching.
I'm sorry, Dr.
Smith.
It's no use.
You'll have to come along with me.
- How dare you detain me, Sergeant? - I'm sorry, sir, but it's orders.
Oh, please.
Let us go in.
We must get aboard that ship.
Oh, I can't do that.
They'll bust me right down-- - Sixty seconds and counting.
- Well, don't stand there! Help me! Get him out of the way.
Then follow me.
[ Screaming .]
My foot is caught! Help! Help! Thirty seconds and counting.
Do something, you doddering dunderhead! Let us in! - Let us in! - Nobody can hear you.
They are in a state of suspended animation.
Do something! They're ready to blast off.
If we don't get inside, we'll be incinerated! I will be incinerated.
You will just look silly, hanging by your toes in space.
- [ Man .]
Zero minus fifteen seconds.
- Do something! Push the emergency button! - It's too late! All is lost! - It is working.
Too late! Not fast enough! [ Man .]
Ten, nine, eight - seven, six, five - Hurry, booby! Hurry! four, three two, one, zero.
Blastoff.
Well, this time our little speculation paid off, huh? But I'm afraid we'll have to renegotiate.
In the light of the way things have gone five years, uh, doesn't seem quite fair, does it, huh? You, uh-- You want more.
Is that it? I'm pleased that you take it so calmly.
Yes, we'll have to tear up the contract, and we'll start all over again.
- Don't touch that! - Call him off! - Tell him to throw his weapon down over there.
- Like he said, over there.
But now, sir, you're going to make restitution.
- You're going to bring Smith and the Robot back.
- That's impossible! You brought my son back when you thought it would profit you.
Well, yes, but look at him.
He's small and the trip was short.
Why, the strain of bringing the two of them back would explode the machine! Y-You'd put me out of business.
You have no idea how that pains me.
- Get going! - I'm going! I'm going.
I'm gone.
I'm bankrupt.
Robot, you're back! You made it back! I am very pleased to be here, Will Robinson.
I do not enjoy time travel - especially in economy class.
- [ Explosions .]
Well, the chain reaction has started.
The machine is destroying itself.
- Where's Smith? - How do I know? Well, you're going to bring him back.
But first you're gonna send my son and the Robot back to safety.
How can you be sentimental at a time like this? - Send them! - [ Will .]
I can do it, Dad.
[ Thunder Crashing .]
- We'll wait for the others at the Chariot, Robot.
- No, Will Robinson.
When Dr.
Chronos's laboratory explodes, we will be safer in here.
Over there.
Come on! Oh, there's nothing we can do! - The machine no longer has enough power.
- We've got to try! Once we locate Smith, we'll take it from there.
I can't get it into focus.
Well, you have to press the activator button.
Here.
Let me do it! Save me! Don't let them get me! I'll listen to your complaints later.
Right now, we're getting out of here.
We're going back to the cave.
If you have any sense, you'll leave too.
The intrepid Chronos runs from no disaster! This place is gonna blow any second! Take cover! Come on! - Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Well, since we are all back at this forsaken place you miserable mechanism I have a bone or two to pick with you! Your behavior in the examining room was abysmal and quite embarrassing to me.
I see that I shall have to teach you proper manners.
Impossible.
To teach, an instructor should have more knowledge than the student.
You dare to question my ability, you scurrilous scatterbrain? I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me.
- You can lead a robot to water, but you cannot make him compute.
- Indeed! Begone, booby, lest I take a stick to your bubble! Isn't it great to have things back to normal, Dad? It's a mixed blessing, Son.
A real mixed blessing.
Come on.
Warning! Warning! Cosmic squall line now at 10 kilometers.
North-northwest.
Radiation level increasing.
Gale-force winds expected.
William? William, where are you? William.
William! What on earth are you doing with that contraption? Oh, hi, Dr.
Smith.
I'm waiting for that cosmic storm to get closer in order to try this out.
You see, when it hits, we should be able to see cosmic particles shoot back and forth between the two poles.
This is supposed to slow them down.
You know, kind of trap them.
- I see.
- Now all we have to do is wait for the cosmic lightning-- [ Thunder Crashing .]
Well! And here it is now! How dare you interrupt the journey of the great Chronos! Oh, I ought to reverse your time tapes! How dare you trap me! Y-You see, sir, i-it was an experiment.
We were trying to trap some cosmic particles.
Not "we," my dear sir-- "he.
" A boyish prank.
An immature mistake.
I'm sure you understand.
Turn off that machine! Release me! William, I have a feeling that we should not turn him loose all at once.
[ Groaning .]
Don't turn the machine off.
Just turn it down a little.
So, it wasn't an accident after all.
You deliberately set out to trap me! You're going to ask for a ransom.
Isn't that it? No, sir.
You see, we were just-- William, let me handle this.
I take umbrage at your insinuation, sir! We are not bandits, and we have no interest at all in ransom.
How some ever, you did disrupt our experiment-- that is to say, his experiment-- and I'm sure that you'll agree that that is worth a little something, Mr.
, uh-- I'm afraid I didn't catch your name.
You dare to bargain with Chronos the Time Merchant? Oh, if I could get free I would reduce your time spans a creature who can control time.
I think we should turn him loose.
After all, we did catch him by mistake.
William, you have no head for business.
Don't you realize who he is? What he can pay? He can make us immortal.
We can live forever.
No.
I think we should let Dad handle this.
- William! - I would advise you to stay inside the cave.
[ Thunder Crashing .]
What have you done to them? What's happening? There's no one running the factory.
The time tapes have-- have gone amok.
They're running backwards and sideways and upside down! All right.
If I turn you loose-- Then everything would be normal.
William, I will not allow you to do it.
We will not let him go! We have not made our financial arrangement yet.
Come along.
We must go.
- Go where? - Where are you taking him? Why, back to the factory, of course.
Young man, you have inconvenienced me.
You caused me to lose time, and I have to make it up.
I'm sorry.
I can't go anywhere with you.
There are no child labor laws in my factory.
Oh, please.
Please don't harm him.
Please! - William! - Come along.
William! William! Warning! Cosmic squall line is now at five kilometers! - Where's Will? - I don't know.
- A terrible creature took him.
- What creature? His name was Chronos.
A most unreasonable being.
- Where did he take him? - Through the wires.
Warning! Warning! Extra-dimensional force field.
- What kind? - I do not know.
I could have lived forever.
"Smith the Immortal.
" What a pleasant, unassuming ring that has to it.
I ought to wring your neck! But that'll wait.
Now I want some answers.
- Who was this creature, and what was he doing here? - I've told you all I know.
He was a time merchant.
His name was Chronos.
Dr.
Chronos.
He got caught in Will's cosmic particle trap.
The dimensional opening is beginning to close.
All right.
I'm going after them.
You'll come with me.
Are you sure you would not like to take Dr.
Smith and leave me behind? Now don't you start! And as for you, let the others on the ship know what's happening and sit tight.
- Understood? - That's all that's left for me to do-- to sit tight and wait for creaking old age to overtake me.
All right.
I'll go first.
Oh, the pain, the pain.
With just a little luck, I could have stayed in my present state of perfection forever.
Better to rust slowly than to risk instant oblivion.
Mine not to reason why-- Yours but to hold your tongue and go! [ Thunder Crashing .]
Good heavens.
I'm alone and I'm frightened! - Wait for me! - [ Thunder Crashing .]
[ Cries Out .]
Wait for me! Wait! - Wait for me! - I told you to wait in the cave and contact the ship.
I had to come.
I wouldn't stay behind and shirk my duty.
Warning! Warning! Hold your fire! I don't think he intends to attack.
That is Dr.
Chronos.
I don't have time for visitors! You'll have to wait.
Come on.
Professor Robinson, I presume.
Dr.
Chronos, we'll get right down to it.
Now what happened in that cave was an accident.
You had no right to bring my son here.
And now you're gonna send us back.
But I can't do that, can I? He caused me to lose a lot of valuable time, and I must be paid back.
[ John .]
I'm not offering you any alternatives.
Now, I don't want to use violence, but I will if I have to.
I want what's due me.
Nothing more.
- And I will have it.
- [ Beeping .]
Oh, this business! [ Will .]
What's happening there, Dr.
Chronos? That is a small planet in the Omega galaxy.
Fine people, but shameful time wasters.
And now, they've used it all up.
This is the only part of my business that I don't enjoy.
But it must be done.
You've just destroyed an entire civilization.
Don't you feel any remorse for that? They did it to themselves! Everybody has a time tape.
But if they run hither and thither, to and fro back and forth, never slowing down for a moment they use their time tapes up all the faster.
And that's all there is to it.
But here is something you might want to remember.
I always do what I have to do and I never, never let sentiment interfere with business.
Well, that's very admirable of you, Doctor.
Very admirable.
Very admirable.
My dear sir, you seem to have everybody's time tape here.
- You must surely have mine as well.
- Certainly.
Oh, to return to Earth, to the days of my youth.
Oh, joy, oh, bliss.
How much would that cost? Could I travel now and pay later? Sorry.
The company transporter box is reserved for certified customers.
I'm not a tour agent.
I don't deal in time travel.
However, I could make you younger.
But I don't suppose you'd be interested in that.
- Quite the contrary, dear sir.
- You're not making any deals with him, Smith.
That is entirely his prerogative, not yours.
What assurance do I have that you can do it? Why, demonstrations are free! - You are under no obligation.
How do you spell your name? - Zachary.
That's the first name.
Z-A-C-H-A-R-Y.
Smith.
- As in Smith.
- And your age, in Earth years? - Twenty-seven.
- That will be verified.
But it doesn't matter.
Ah! Now.
Here is your tape.
Now, I shall pick a place at random.
That should convince you.
Hmm? Roll tape.
[ Dr.
Smith .]
Good evening, all.
Your replacements have arrived.
Everything is under control.
[ Don .]
Replacements, Smith? What are you talking about? Major, surely you're not gonna continue to deny me the privilege of sharing in the responsibilities.
I am rested.
You are not.
Ergo, it's time for you to turn the controls over to me.
Whew! If you think I'm gonna put our lives in your hands, Smith-- Well, Don, I'm sorry, but for once, I agree with him.
You show rare good judgment, madam.
Not to worry, Major.
My assistant and I are quite competent.
All right.
We'll give it a try.
John and I have to make lab checks on these transistor circuits before we can trust the scanner anyway.
Smith, hold the course at 270.
That's all you have to do to avoid the meteor showers.
Child's play, Major.
All right.
There you are, now.
It's all set.
- Good night.
- [ Both .]
Good night.
I'll be back in five minutes.
You hold that course steady.
- Never fear, Smith is here! - [ Scoffs .]
Ah! Now then, there's really nothing to it.
[ Robot .]
I would advise you to keep your hands on the controls.
You are already two astral degrees off course.
Silence, you jabbering jackanapes! I intend to be a lot more than two degrees off course before I'm through.
I'm heading us back towards Earth! But we do not know where Earth is.
Perhaps you don't, but I do.
My instinct tells me we must go to the left.
Warning! Warning! Meteor shower! - Move aside, Smith! Let go! - I can't! We'll all be killed! I've had enough of that, sir, if you please.
How some ever, there is one thing that I would particularly like to see.
If it is not too much trouble, could you set the machine for October 16, 1997 in the evening, about 8:00? - [ Chronos .]
One more demonstration, coming up.
- How much would that cost? You couldn't get it cheaper if someone else could offer you the service, which they can't.
No one's buying anything, Dr.
Chronos.
Hold him off.
I mean it! Now move away from there, and then we'll talk.
We'll stay where we are till you listen to our terms.
You dare put yourself against the great Chronos? Why in the flick of an eyelid, I could make you an old man or a crawling, crying little baby.
Not without damaging your time machine.
Now we want our freedom and nothing more.
But surely, sir, you can see that I have to come out of this transaction with something to show for it.
- A small price? - Price? What price? I have a very good market for time on your planet, Earth.
The people down there are always putting things off until they end up with no time left to do the things they ought to do.
And then they come to me.
Now, the two of you have nice, long time tapes.
Oh, I checked.
Wait! What are you doing? [ Cuckooing .]
Now he's done it! Oh, I should have snipped his tape the moment I first laid eyes on him! - Well, where has he gone? - Earth! He has sent himself back to Earth! Back through time-- My time! He has ducked out without so much as leaving a deposit! That deadbeat! But you are going to pay for it.
You are going to have to settle his account as well as your own.
- Oh? - Oh, indeed you will.
So expect no trade-ins, no bargains, no down payments.
I am going to take every bit of time you have left.
Do you hear me? Every little tick-tock, tick-tock! [ Robot .]
I will give my life to save the Robinsons.
My time is your time, Dr.
Chronos.
Oh, nonsense! You don't have any time as such.
You're a machine.
Manufactured, fabricated and quite timeless.
Now get over here and turn that crank.
I only have two hands.
- He's not going anywhere.
- Well, he'd better, before everything flies to pieces.
Now look-- I propose a truce.
- A truce? - Yes.
You assist me in this emergency and I will desist in any moves against you.
- Fair enough? - Give him a hand.
Ah! Here, boy.
Come on.
Go ahead.
Keep that thing moving.
We need auxiliary power.
What's happening to that machine? All the related time tracks are shifting to meet any probability.
Unless he does exactly what he did before he could change everything.
He could cause utter havoc! That scoundrel! I should have known better than to trust anybody from Earth.
- Can't you bring him back? - Not without wrecking the machine.
But we can observe him.
I now invite your divided attention to the rectangular monochromatic screen on which to view the basic past.
All the tapes of our library will be shown here.
And of course, on the oval screen you will see the reconstituted past alive and as it happens, in glorious polycolor.
Gentlemen, on the rectangular screen.
Am I okay, Doctor? Did I pass? - You'll do.
- Did you hear that, Mom? I'm okay.
I remember that.
Dr.
Smith was examining me right before liftoff.
Dr.
Smith? Back on Earth? In 1997? Unfortunately, yes.
He is in that examining room right at this very moment.
Observe the oval screen for the reconstituted past.
- [ Cries Out .]
- [ Man .]
This is Alpha Control.
Zero minus one hour and 14 minutes and holding.
Alpha Control? Alpha Control? I've made it! Terra firma! Earth, sweet Earth! Dear, wonderful place! Smith, what are you doing on the floor? The floor? Yes.
Yes, of course.
The floor.
You see, I, uh-- I dropped my pencil and I simply cannot find it anywhere.
You are General Squires, are you not? It's been such a long time! It's been exactly 15 minutes since I ordered you to uncrate that robot - and get him aboard the Jupiter 2! - The Robot? Yes.
Yes, indeed.
The robot.
I shall attend to it immediately.
Sergeant! Snap to and uncrate that robot! Yes, sir.
It'll be undone in just a moment.
Affirmative.
Affirmative, my foot! I'd forgotten how delightful everything was before you became so insolent, you pusillanimous pip-squeak! - Are you all right, Smith? - Oh, yes, indeed, sir.
Fit as a fiddle.
In the pink and in the prime.
I hope so.
I must say, your efficiency isn't all it should be lately.
- You had better shape up.
- Yes, sir.
Shape up, indeed! Such presumption.
Sergeant, wheel it out of here.
I seriously doubt that it will be used, but you might as well take it to the ready room.
And then stand by.
I shall require your services.
You don't think they'll use the robot, sir? This is part of their basic equipment.
I mean, that thing cost a bundle.
That is a sure invitation to a congressional hearing.
Only if they make the flight which at this point seems extremely dubious.
You see, I happen to have some "tick-tock" secret information.
Well, what are you waiting for? Careful.
Careful.
Careful.
Careful.
[ Man On TV .]
The countdown is still at one hour and 14 minutes and holding.
Monitors will continue to make a visual sweep of the Launch Pad 3.
Hydraulic unit 163, report to control.
One hour and 14 minutes and holding.
[ Buzzes .]
All control personnel will maintain hold procedures until further notice.
- Uh, yes, sir? - Sergeant I like a snack while I'm watching television.
So would you be good enough to trot along to the commissary for me? Let me see.
I think I will have something light.
A steak sandwich, thick and rare, of course, with a lovely stuffed baked potato.
And a crisp green salad with Roquefort dressing-- Ho-- Ho-- Hold it.
Hold it.
- Ready? - Uh, yes, sir.
And for dessert, two chocolate éclairs with three scoops of ice cream-- different flavors, of course.
And Sergeant for an appetizer, bring me a double order of pickled herring.
[ Sighs .]
Yes, sir.
- And hurry! - Uh, y-yes, sir.
Yes, sir.
He should know better than that.
Pickled herring always gives him indigestion.
You can all stop working.
The machine has made its compensation.
What will happen if Dr.
Smith doesn't get on the ship? Well, his added weight caused us to drift off course in the first place, Son.
Now with him not aboard, we may wind up at Alpha Centauri.
The ship will be destroyed by an uncharted asteroid.
And when it is, all of you will cease to exist, just like that! That's only true if Smith remains behind.
Which he will.
It's become obvious he always gets what he wants.
Even from the great Chronos! There must be some way of getting him on that ship.
- Can we send him a message? - A dream! An impossible dream! And even if we could, I doubt if that deadbeat would listen.
Then we have to bring him back.
I told you once, son-- That is impossible.
It would destroy the machine.
So it appears that, uh I will have to salvage what I can.
So that's how you honor your truces.
There's no such thing as an honorable truce.
- That's not fair! - Well, I doubt if anyone will be complaining to the intergalactic Better Business Bureau.
Now, the whole thing is really quite painless.
You will wait over there until I find out exactly where you are in your time tape and then snip, snip! Unfortunately, uh, when I do that, you will cease to exist.
But your tape will be added to somebody else's life, so it won't be a complete loss.
You're absolutely mad if you think you can get away with all that! Since I make the rules I can get away with anything.
We will take the boy first.
His time tape is on the block - racked up and ready! - Oh, yeah? [ Chronos Whistles .]
- Dad! - Perfidy! Deception! And infamy! Robot! No! Let him go! Take me, but let him go! There's an old saying in the time business: "Never settle for one when you can have two.
" So I have nothing to gain by further discussion, do I? Hmm? I'm sorry, my boy, but this is business.
And business is business.
- Cut that tape and you miss everything.
- Ha! All right.
Give me a few precious seconds of your time.
You could gain years by it.
Now if Smith doesn't get back to the ship-- all right, we've lost.
But if he does, we'll all have time to spare.
Now if you let us try to get him back to that ship I'll make a deal with you.
I'll sign a contract giving you three years of my life.
[ Chronos .]
Well! A most interesting proposition.
How do you propose to do that? Will and I remain here as hostages.
Send the Robot.
If anyone can get Smith, he can.
Well, let me see.
Two people.
Four months apiece.
Duplicate the dividend.
Hmm.
Might be done.
Might be done.
But it will cost you fifteen years! - Three and a half! - Ten.
- Four.
- Seven.
- Five and done! - Done.
Sign.
[ Whistles .]
- Are you all right? - I'm fine, Dad.
But you shouldn't have done that.
Five years! Well, all our lives depend upon getting Smith back to the ship.
Your mother and your sisters as well as our own.
Egadzooks! Twenty-one jewels.
Ah, there we are! Hold the referee! That was a low blow.
I demand a recount! I was robbed.
Oh-ho-ho-ho.
You're in fine shape.
Your escapement was a little off-balance, but you're in quite good shape.
Yes, quite good shape indeed.
How about you-- 21 jewels! - Oh, he'll make the trip quite handily.
Mm-hmm.
- What trip? - Where am I going? - You're going back to Earth, Robot.
You've got to get Dr.
Smith on the ship before liftoff.
Well, it will only take a moment to make the necessary settings.
All right.
Now when were you put aboard the Jupiter 2? About 30 minutes before blastoff.
[ John .]
And prior to that, you were in the ready room.
- Yes, I was kept in the ready room.
- Good.
I was there.
[ Sobbing .]
Excuse me, Will Robinson.
May I borrow your handkerchief? You shouldn't cry, Robot.
You'll rust your transistors.
- [ Sobbing .]
- Are you afraid to go? - Is that why you're crying? - No, Will Robinson.
But once I leave here, we will be separated in time.
I will never see you again.
- Dad, is that right? - It may or may not be true, Son.
I don't know.
Well, then he can't go! We'll find another solution.
Everything's ready.
All aboard.
It is okay, Will Robinson.
I will go.
Here, Will, and thank you.
Just remember one thing, Will Robinson: New friends may be silver but your old friend was titanium stainless steel alloy with genuine chrome plate.
- Good-bye, Professor Robinson.
- We won't forget you, Robot.
- And remember, you only have an hour to get him aboard.
- I will do my best.
Farewell.
Come, come, come, come! [ Cuckooing .]
And another satisfied customer hits the space! [ Will .]
Can we watch on your view screen? You bet your sweet life span you can.
Why, I wouldn't miss this for all the time tapes in China.
Roll tape.
Go after Dr.
Smith, Robot.
Apparently, the trip erased his tapes.
He's as he was in the beginning.
Well, I said I would send him there.
I didn't guarantee safe delivery.
Well, here's another fine mess you've got me into.
- You've got to send me.
It's our only chance.
- Impossible.
It would take too much power.
Besides, you could only stay on Earth one minute before the power flux bounced you back.
Well, then, send me.
I'm small, and I wouldn't take much power.
I could fix the Robot and come right back.
Please, Dad? the Robot would listen to me.
I know he would.
- All right.
Send him.
- It'll be very expensive.
Packaging, promotion, propulsion-- oh-ho! It'll cost you another year! I'm not going to quibble with you.
You're wasting time! Very well.
Into the transporter with you.
All aboard! Now, you'll have exactly 30 electro-counters down there on Earth.
I've set it for you.
Here.
- Thirty electro-counters.
That's, uh-- - That's two minutes.
Two minutes.
Yes, sir.
- Are you all ready? - Yes, sir.
Stand by for Operation Bounce Back.
Robot! Are you all right? Speak to me! All circuits functioning.
Sensor panel, report as follows-- Robot, I don't want a sensor report.
Don't you remember me? I'm Will! - Will Robinson! - That does not compute.
Don't you remember why you came here? You came to talk to Dr.
Smith! Dr.
Smith-- It's not your fault.
You did the best you could.
He probably wouldn't have listened anyway.
Robot, we won't be seeing each other again.
And, uh, you probably won't understand this because you're not programmed for emotion yet but I love you, Robot.
- I want you to know that.
- Love? - Will Robinson? - Do you understand? Can you remember me now? It does not compute.
[ Ringing .]
If I had more time, I could make you remember.
But I don't! I have to go now! Good-bye, old friend.
All sensor circuits, green and go.
Ready for utilization.
Please excuse me.
I beg your pardon.
[ Man Over P.
A.
.]
Astronauts in the following order will enter freezing tubes and prepare for launch.
Will Robinson, Penny Robinson, enter tubes.
They never wanted me along anyway.
They were always threatening to leave me somewhere.
- They'll be much happier this way.
- Dr.
Smith.
Never do that again, you bubbleheaded booby! You frightened me out of ten years' growth! Forgive the outburst, dear friend.
I can see that your faulty connections have finally begun to make some sense.
You've come back to stay with me.
You called me a bubbleheaded booby.
I am beginning to remember.
Pull yourself together, ninny.
You'll miss all the excitement.
They're getting ready to blast off very soon.
[ Man .]
Zero minus 50 minutes and counting.
We shall spend a superlative life together here, you and I, I promise you.
I shall program you beautifully and you will find suitable and lucrative employment to maintain us both in the proper style.
Program-- Program! It all comes back to me now.
I am not here to look for a job.
I came to take you aboard the ship.
- This is imperative! - Imperative, indeed! Wild horses couldn't drag me aboard that ship! It is impossible to reason with you.
Therefore, I must take you aboard by force! Stay away from me, you addlepated armor-bearer! I'm not going! - I am sorry, but you must go! - No, I mustn't! There is no time for playing games! - I advise you to come peacefully.
- You'll never take me alive! Your condition is unimportant.
You must be on that ship at blastoff! Let me tell you-- my condition is my own business! - Come along! - [ Shouting .]
- Atten-hut! - Oh! Colonel.
Uh, Major.
Uh, General! Smith, you will consider yourself under arrest.
There have been reports regarding your threats against this mission.
- Do you have anything to say for yourself? - I confess.
I confess everything.
Arrest me.
Put me into protective custody.
Only, save me from him! What's that robot doing here? It's supposed to be in the ready room.
I don't know.
Beats me, sir.
We just uncrated him and took him down there a half hour ago.
He's run amok.
He's persecuting me.
You must protect me! Smith, this machine threatened you? Yes, he did.
Speak up, you treasonous tyrant.
Tell him! Ha! He's trying to pretend the cat has his tongue.
The silent treatment, is it? Well, I couldn't care less.
I'm safe now.
Sergeant, put Dr.
Smith under arrest.
Confine him to these quarters.
Yes, sir.
Corporal, put Dr.
Smith under arrest.
Confine him to these quarters.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Farewell, you rusty Rasputin.
If I never see you again, it'll be much too soon.
Sergeant, I accept confinement not only quietly but gratefully as well.
Well, Dr.
Smith, that's awfully nice of you.
And I sure do appreciate it, sir.
Would you like some of my dessert? It's lovely.
No, thank you, sir.
You don't get any, ninny.
That's the way it happens sometimes.
A man can stand just so much strain, and then - [ Snaps Fingers .]
- he cracks.
Yes, sir.
Get a winch up here and have that robot put aboard the Jupiter 2.
Yes, sir.
Right away, sir.
This is Green Room 7.
Get me Security 3.
Security? This is Sergeant Roger.
Code 58 in Green Room 7.
Oh, and we got a robot to move.
Would you send me up a winch? Not that kind of "wench"! A G.
I.
winch.
W-I-N-C-H.
Now get it up here on the double! Do something, Robot.
You can't let us down now.
Do something! Unfortunately, you gambled and lost.
It is now time to pay the piper! We have until the Jupiter 2 takes off.
That's our agreement.
I'm holding you to it! Very well.
You have until the Jupiter 2 blasts off.
- But not another second longer.
- You're our only chance, Robot.
Don't let us down now.
- Stay where you are! - Please stand back.
I do not wish to hurt you.
But there is something I must do.
Boy, what a right hook! - Please excuse me.
- Hush! You're making so much noise.
[ Man .]
Zero minus six minutes and counting.
Come with me, Dr.
Smith.
Hurry! Begone.
You're interrupting my television news program.
Also my dessert.
Well, unhand me, sir! If you think that physical violence will coerce me into going you're making a great mistake.
I am only here to appeal to your better instincts, Dr.
Smith - if you have any.
- Spare me the sarcasm.
I'm following the better course of action.
It was my added weight that caused the Jupiter 2 to go astray the first time.
Don't you remember? Now they will be able to go to Alpha Centauri without any trouble at all.
No.
Unless you board the ship, the Jupiter 2 will be destroyed within four months! - Stuff and nonsense.
I don't believe it.
- It is true.
Chronos projected the alternative.
The ship will be destroyed by an uncharted asteroid.
Be that as it may, there's nothing I can do to help them.
Besides, I owe it to myself to stay here and start life over and I'm inviting you to stay here with me.
I have found that my feelings are greater than my programming.
- I must share the fate of my friends.
- Wait! Wait! Please don't go.
Stay here with me.
Start a new life.
- The price is too high.
- I understand.
I wish I could be as honorable as you.
But I am a weak man, full of human frailty.
I sometimes wish I could be different but I cannot seem to manage it.
- Forgive me, dear friend.
- I forgive you.
[ Man .]
Zero minus four minutes.
All personnel clear the launch area.
I must go.
I may have trouble getting aboard as it is.
Good-bye.
Corporal of the guard! Please excuse me.
Farewell, Dr.
Smith.
What has he done? Striking a guard is a serious offense! Oh, good heavens! They'll think that I did it.
[ Man .]
Freezing tubes activated.
Suspended animation complete.
Penny.
Judy.
My dear William! No! I can't do it! I can't! Booby! Wait for me! Wait for me! Even if Smith makes it, I don't trust Chronos to keep his word.
Now the minute the ship blasts off you distract him, I'll disarm him.
- Yes, sir.
- Okay.
Red alert.
Code 58.
Seal off security Sections 9 and 10.
The prisoner's escaped.
And stop that robot.
He's very dangerous.
Beware of his right hook.
Red alert! Red alert! On your feet, Corporal! Red alert! [ Sergeant .]
Smith! Smith! Shh! [ Man .]
Zero minus three minutes.
All tracking stations report to control and switch to "go" positions for liftoff.
We'll never make it.
They'll surely catch us.
According to my computer, the odds are 50-50.
If the hatch is still open, we can run in before they intercept us.
Correction.
According to my internal tote board the odds are now three-to-one against.
Spare me the aimless chatter, you bookmaking booby.
We need a plan.
And I think I have just found it.
You'd better keep the other side of the launch pad covered.
We gotta find 'em.
Maybe we'd better borrow the hound dogs from the county sheriff.
- Take off, Corporal! - [ Clattering .]
Who goes there? Clutter control unit to clean the pad after the launching.
I'm sorry, Dr.
Smith.
It's no use.
You'll have to come along with me.
- How dare you detain me, Sergeant? - I'm sorry, sir, but it's orders.
Oh, please.
Let us go in.
We must get aboard that ship.
Oh, I can't do that.
They'll bust me right down-- - Sixty seconds and counting.
- Well, don't stand there! Help me! Get him out of the way.
Then follow me.
[ Screaming .]
My foot is caught! Help! Help! Thirty seconds and counting.
Do something, you doddering dunderhead! Let us in! - Let us in! - Nobody can hear you.
They are in a state of suspended animation.
Do something! They're ready to blast off.
If we don't get inside, we'll be incinerated! I will be incinerated.
You will just look silly, hanging by your toes in space.
- [ Man .]
Zero minus fifteen seconds.
- Do something! Push the emergency button! - It's too late! All is lost! - It is working.
Too late! Not fast enough! [ Man .]
Ten, nine, eight - seven, six, five - Hurry, booby! Hurry! four, three two, one, zero.
Blastoff.
Well, this time our little speculation paid off, huh? But I'm afraid we'll have to renegotiate.
In the light of the way things have gone five years, uh, doesn't seem quite fair, does it, huh? You, uh-- You want more.
Is that it? I'm pleased that you take it so calmly.
Yes, we'll have to tear up the contract, and we'll start all over again.
- Don't touch that! - Call him off! - Tell him to throw his weapon down over there.
- Like he said, over there.
But now, sir, you're going to make restitution.
- You're going to bring Smith and the Robot back.
- That's impossible! You brought my son back when you thought it would profit you.
Well, yes, but look at him.
He's small and the trip was short.
Why, the strain of bringing the two of them back would explode the machine! Y-You'd put me out of business.
You have no idea how that pains me.
- Get going! - I'm going! I'm going.
I'm gone.
I'm bankrupt.
Robot, you're back! You made it back! I am very pleased to be here, Will Robinson.
I do not enjoy time travel - especially in economy class.
- [ Explosions .]
Well, the chain reaction has started.
The machine is destroying itself.
- Where's Smith? - How do I know? Well, you're going to bring him back.
But first you're gonna send my son and the Robot back to safety.
How can you be sentimental at a time like this? - Send them! - [ Will .]
I can do it, Dad.
[ Thunder Crashing .]
- We'll wait for the others at the Chariot, Robot.
- No, Will Robinson.
When Dr.
Chronos's laboratory explodes, we will be safer in here.
Over there.
Come on! Oh, there's nothing we can do! - The machine no longer has enough power.
- We've got to try! Once we locate Smith, we'll take it from there.
I can't get it into focus.
Well, you have to press the activator button.
Here.
Let me do it! Save me! Don't let them get me! I'll listen to your complaints later.
Right now, we're getting out of here.
We're going back to the cave.
If you have any sense, you'll leave too.
The intrepid Chronos runs from no disaster! This place is gonna blow any second! Take cover! Come on! - Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.
Well, since we are all back at this forsaken place you miserable mechanism I have a bone or two to pick with you! Your behavior in the examining room was abysmal and quite embarrassing to me.
I see that I shall have to teach you proper manners.
Impossible.
To teach, an instructor should have more knowledge than the student.
You dare to question my ability, you scurrilous scatterbrain? I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me.
- You can lead a robot to water, but you cannot make him compute.
- Indeed! Begone, booby, lest I take a stick to your bubble! Isn't it great to have things back to normal, Dad? It's a mixed blessing, Son.
A real mixed blessing.
Come on.