Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy (2015) s02e23 Episode Script

You're No Good

1 [GUARDIANS GROANING.]
[WIND HOWLING.]
So much power.
Why did I ever resist it? The Warlock is gone.
Long live the Magus! What the krutack, Quill? Warlock absorbed a dozen lowlifes before going dark last time.
Now absorbing one guy sends him over the evil edge? [SIGHS.]
Yeah, well, my dad always was an overachiever, Rocket.
Now we can add "corrupting a cosmic being" to "starting an intergalactic war," and "being an all-around jerk.
" And he's had control of Adam long enough.
Warlock already destroyed the Black Order.
You might not be able to talk him down this time.
Gamora is correct.
We must protect ourselves.
Then everyone grab a helmet.
[ROCKET.]
Hey! Get back here! [QUILL.]
No fair flying away when we need you! The Nova Centurion helmets no doubt search for heroes to defeat me.
But by then, the galaxy will belong to the Magus.
Adam, listen to yourself.
You're not like this.
"Adam" is the name you gave me.
Empty words! [YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
I am Groot! [YELLS.]
I am Grooooot! [ALL YELL.]
[SUSTAINED YELL.]
[YELL CONTINUES.]
I am Groot! And I am so much more! [LAUGHS.]
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Pathetic.
Anyone see where that glowing-eyed maniac went? No.
But there is no doubt he will cause more destruction when he gets there.
Groot! You okay, bud? [WEAKLY.]
I am Groot.
[GROANS.]
Okay, maybe this Adam isn't quite the talk-it-out kind of guy.
What was your first clue? When he buried Xeron, or pfft when he tried to do the same to us? Xeron will live, but she will not wake any time soon.
Eh, the Black Order? Not so lucky.
And they bowed down to Warlock.
What do you think he's gonna do when he meets someone who doesn't? Wha So we're just supposed to take him down? Adam is one of us.
- Not anymore.
- Fine.
We'll put it to a vote.
After we stop him from blowing up the galaxy! I am Groot! [DRAX.]
My people's healers will tend to Xeron.
She will fulfill her sacred duty to destroy the Warlock, should we fail in our task.
How can we succeed? The only thing that can stop Warlock are the Centurion helmets, and they're halfway across the galaxy by now.
Relax.
I got a guy.
[SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
This is gonna go on my permanent record.
Ugh! If you hate Saturday detention so much, Mr.
Alexander, you should've thought of that before skipping class again.
[PHONE HUMMING.]
[HUMMING CONTINUES.]
Sam! Samuel Alexander! Look, this better be important, as in galaxy-about-to-end important.
Yeah, funny you should mention that.
[SAM.]
Okay, but I'm going to need a note for my principal.
All right.
Sam's looking for the helmets.
We just need to contain Adam until he finds them.
That would require finding Warlock.
That's easy.
Just find whatever planet has the most distress calls.
[BEEPING.]
Is that not J'Son's home world? Yeah.
Spartax.
And ten units says he's going for more than a visit.
[EXPLOSION.]
[MAGUS.]
Such glorious destruction! Leaders of Spartax, surrender! [VICTORIA.]
Sorry, but this leader does not surrender! And neither does Spartax! Now face Empress Victoria! [QUILL.]
Heh-hey! Baby sis! Peter, get off this channel! No, wait, wait, wait.
Wait.
We can help.
I've had enough of your help for a lifetime.
You're lucky I'm busy with this Warlock monster, or Yeah, about that What did you do? Nothing.
But Okay, so Dad got absorbed into Warlock's gem and turned him evil, and now he's calling the shots.
[CHUCKLES.]
So, our father is using the Warlock as his personal weapon? No! Well, technically, yeah.
But what I'm saying is, you can't just destroy Warlock.
He's innocent.
Tell that to my ships, which he's currently blasting out of the sky! Great.
So now we found Warlock.
How do we contain him without the krutackin' helmets? Relax.
You got a guy? More like a whole bunch of 'em.
[ROCKET.]
A Believer ship? That hunk of junk can barely fly! [DRAX.]
Nor can I ascertain how it could stop Warlock.
Belief energy is what brought Adam out of his cocoon in the first place.
So maybe Belief energy can push him back in.
And since the Believers aren't using this ship anymore, their Belief batteries should be easy pickings.
So, until Sam shows up with the helmets, it's a perfect Plan B.
You get it? "B"? For "Believers"? 'Cause I was Okay, never mind.
[WHIRRING.]
Okay, maybe we need a Plan C.
Better start working on D through N, 'cause none of your plans work! Okay, this is just a minor setback.
With explosions! Groot! I thought you said the Believers weren't using this ship.
You are correct, Gamora.
Quill, however, was incorrect.
Well, if they're using it, they ain't doing too good a job.
Their defenses just conked out.
The nonbelievers are boarding our vessel.
Let them come.
These are the doubters who destroyed Mantis and decimated our fleet.
[EXCLAIMS.]
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I believe we will dispense justice.
We're not here to fight, Arokine.
We need your help.
The Warlock needs your help.
I don't believe you.
I am Groot! Him I believe.
Is the Chosen One bringing about the Golden Age we prophesized? Not exactly.
Yeah, he's doing that other thing.
You know, the whole destroying the galaxy thing.
[BELIEVERS GASP.]
This is your fault, Peter Quill.
That is wrong-ish.
It's my dad who turned Warlock evil.
The Patriarch ordered us to bring the Warlock back into the galaxy.
Why would he corrupt him? So he could control him, dummy.
The Patriarch lied to us about everything.
[DESCENDING WHIRRING.]
- What is happening? - We're on a Belief ship.
Everything here is powered by their belief, and without Warlock, they don't have anything to believe in.
And why should we give a flarg? 'Cause it means we're gonna crash.
Okay, things look bad, but we can still stop Warlock.
You just have to turn those frowns upside down and believe.
Literally, believe.
What is there to believe in? [SIGHS.]
You wanna know what I believe in? I, uh I, um I believe in music.
I believe the children are our future.
I don't stop believin'.
Don't give up on us, baby.
Shake your booty.
Get hooked on a feelin'.
'Cause we are the champions! I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot! [CHANTING.]
I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot! [BELIEVERS, BABY GROOT CHANTING.]
I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot! I am Groot! [WHIRRING RESUMES.]
- I am Groot - [QUILL.]
Oh, come on! That's the speech that inspires them? [WHIRRING INTENSIFIES.]
Belief levels are rising.
The ship's repowering.
[SIGHS.]
Fine.
Whatever.
Let's go to Spartax.
Oh, we can't do that.
We sold off our hyper-drive for supplies.
Mm.
So once again, it's up to me to fix everything.
[WEAPONS FIRING.]
Run, Victoria.
Hide.
It will not save you.
[YELLS.]
It's been an honor serving with you all.
[THUDDING.]
Let us honor Spartax together one last time! [GRUNTS.]
[ALL GRUNT.]
[MAGUS.]
Huh? Aaahh! Hey, Adam.
Whatcha doin'? You survived.
And you stole my Element Blaster.
So you are calling the shots in there Dad.
The smart thing would have been to run away.
Well, I've never been that smart.
You know what I mean.
Vicky, go get backup! Rocket, Groot, hit it! You heard him, weirdoes! Give it everything you got! [ALL CHANTING.]
I am Groot.
I am Groot.
I am Groot.
I am Groot.
I believe I'm not so stupid now.
Don't be so sure.
[GRUNTS.]
Huh? [GAMORA YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
I believe if you knock us down, we'll get right back up.
[YELLS, GRUNTS.]
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS, GROANS.]
Aaah! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS, GROANS.]
So why don't you just spit my dad out of your gem, and we can work this out without hurting each other.
You really don't know me at all, do you, son? [GRUNTS, GROANS.]
[VICTORIA.]
Oh, I know you extremely well, Father! Even when you hide inside an all-powerful Cosmic being! Thanks, baby sis.
We'll keep Dad-slash-Warlock busy.
We need you to evacuate the city.
[VICTORIA.]
You heard the Star-Lord.
Let's go.
Fools! You can't save them.
Yeah, well, to quote a wise Earth sage, "You ain't seen nothing yet.
" Rocket, Operation Backwards Butterfly! [GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[EVIL LAUGHTER.]
Only you would make yourself weaker, Peter.
Or is this Backwards Butterfly supposed to make me feel compassion? No.
It's supposed to shove you back in your cocoon.
Huh? [CRYING OUT.]
[ALL CHANTING.]
We believe we can cocoon Warlock.
- We believe - Believe harder, you little flargs! [BELIEVERS CONTINUE CHANTING.]
We believe we can cocoon Warlock.
We believe we can cocoon Warlock.
We believe we can cocoon Warlock.
Sorry, Adam, but Belief energy brought you into this galaxy, and we couldn't let you destroy it.
[EVIL LAUGHTER.]
[QUILL.]
Yeah, that's not a cocoon.
Aahh! [EVIL LAUGHTER.]
Did you think I couldn't control Belief energy? I was the first being to harvest it.
[YELLS.]
I got this! [ALARM BLARING.]
[STRAINING.]
[FOOTSTEP THUDS.]
Now all will bow to Magus.
[ALL GROAN.]
Hey, Quill, remind me never to listen to your plans again again.
Okay, I admit Plan B was a bust.
[WHOOSHING.]
But here comes Plan A.
"A" was for "Alexander," in case you were wondering.
We weren't.
Sorry I'm late, guys, but finding these helmets and catching them are two very different things.
All right, Magus.
Get ready for round two.
With the Nova Force Guardians.
[DRAX.]
Whoa! Come on, guys, pull it in! Drax the Destroyer does not enjoy shirts, nor flying via hat-wear.
Learn fast.
We need to hold Magus till Victoria evacuates the city.
[VICTORIA.]
Already done.
Ser Really? You done The whole city? We're Spartaxian, Peter.
Efficiency is in our DNA.
[ROARING.]
[EVIL LAUGHTER.]
[YELLS.]
[GUARDIANS YELL.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
[BABY GROOT SHRIEKING.]
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Yes! Yes! [LAUGHS.]
Now, this is how ya blow stuff up! [LAUGHS.]
[GRUNTS.]
Do not hide from me, cowards! At this point, that may be our best option.
Our strongest Nova blasts are just annoying this guy.
I am Groot! So, another of Quill's plans ain't working.
Ha! What do you call déjà vu the third time around? We're failing 'cause we're not doing it right.
We need to act like a unit.
Just follow my lead.
'Cause following your lead has worked out so well for us.
[ROARS.]
[ALL YELL.]
Groot, Drax, aim for the eyes! [GROANS.]
Rocket, his left is open! [GROANS.]
Gamora, Sam, swing him around! [CRIES OUT.]
Everyone, fire at his knees, now! [ROARS.]
[GRUNTS, GROANS.]
You cannot defeat me like this, Peter! I will win! I am Groot! [GRUNTS.]
Gotcha, bud.
[EVIL LAUGHTER.]
[GAMORA.]
Quill, we need to end this before there's no city left to save.
[MAGUS GRUNTS.]
Seriously? [GRUNTS.]
[GUARDIANS GRUNT.]
[ALL GROAN.]
[ROARS.]
[BOTH GRUNT.]
I don't get it.
The Nova Centurions were supposed to be able to defeat Warlock if he went evil.
Why can't we? 'Cause they forgot to write down instructions with these krutackin' helmets.
Maybe.
But Adam didn't forget.
I think he showed us how to beat him if he ever went dark.
I think he scribbled it all over our table in crayon.
What, you wanna take tactical advice from a toddler? Just get in the same formation.
What are you doing? No! No! Let me out! Let me out! [YELLS.]
This isn't over, Peter! This time it really is, Dad.
Adam, if you're still in there somewhere, I'm sorry.
What he gave, I will take away.
Did we Did we actually win? Yeah, you you don't have to sound so surprised, you know.
Yeah, well, when one of your plans works, it's the only rational response.
I am Groot! But it was not Quill's plan.
He merely copied the toddler Warlock's plan.
That is why it worked.
Yeah, you know what? I'm just gonna take the win.
Aah! That was so awesome! We did it! We [CALMLY.]
Uh, well done, team.
We couldn't have done it without you, Sam.
Thanks, guys, but I was serious about that note for my principal.
[QUILL.]
Relax.
I got a guy.
I know you're in there, Sam! [KNOCKING LOUDLY.]
You can't skip out on detention! I will never forget this! Actually, you will be forgetting all of this.
Wait.
What What am I doing here? What day is it again? Thanks for the assist, Cosmo.
Good dog.

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