Marvin, Marvin (2012) s01e08 Episode Script

Double Date

1 - AH - [barking] - TRADE MY STEAK FOR YOUR DOG FOOD? SORRY, MURRAY, NO WAY.
[toy squeaks] - [barking] - YOU'LL THROW IN MR.
WEINER? DEAL! SUCKER! IT'S A HOT DOG THAT SQUEAKS.
I MEAN, WHO CAME UP WITH THAT? [munching] - AND YOU WONDER WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH AN ALIEN.
[alarm sounding] - KLERG DETECTOR! THEY'RE HERE FOR MARVIN.
GRANDPA, PROTECT THE ASSET! - IT'S GO TIME! - MY MORTAL ENEMIES! - PLUG IT IN! LIZ, AMMO! - IT'S IN THE JUNK DRAWER.
I CAN'T FIND IT.
THERE'S TOO MUCH SOY SAUCE! - GAME OVER.
- HERE IT IS! - TOO LATE.
AND WE'RE ALL DEAD.
THAT'S IT.
THAT WAS THE WORS ANTI-KLERG DRILL I'VE EVER SEEN.
NO ONE DID ANYTHING RIGHT.
EXCEPT FOR TERI, WHO WAS SEARCHING FOR AN ESCAPE ROUTE ON HER CELL-- YOU'RE TEXTING? HOW COULD YOU TEX AT SUCH A CRUCIAL MOMENT? - IT WAS IMPORTANT! BRIANNA THINKS THAT BLAINE ANDERSON IS GONNA ASK ME OUT.
I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM.
- OH, HE'S A CUTIE.
- YEAH, I GOT TO ADMIT, THAT BOY IS CLASSICALLY HANDSOME.
- RIGHT? - THE TEETH ON HIM.
- IT'S LIKE--YEAH.
- STOP IT! - [gasps] - NO ONE IS GOING TO BE ASKING YOU OU AFTER A KLERG EATS YOUR FACE OFF.
- KLERG DON'T EAT YOUR FACE OFF.
THEY EAT YOUR BUTT OFF, SO WHEN THEY ENSLAVE YOU IN THEIR CHEESE MINES, YOU CAN'T SIT DOWN AND TAKE BREAKS.
DUH! - OKAY, THE POINT IS, MARVIN IS IN DANGER.
OKAY, WE TOOK A VOW TO PROTECT HIM FROM THE KLERG [toy squeaking] ONE DAY, THEY'RE GONNA SHOW UP ON THIS PLANET.
[grunts] WE'VE GOT TO BE READY FOR THE-- MARVIN! DROP IT.
- [growling] - DROP IT! LET GO OF IT.
DROP IT! DROP IT! MARVIN! - [growling] [barking and grunting] - MARVIN! [toy squeaking] FETCH! - OH, MR.
WEINER! - IF HE POOPS IN THE YARD, I'M NOT PICKING IT UP.
- THIS IS MY HOME PLANET, KLOOTON.
THESE ARE THE KLERG.
THEY HATE KLOOTON.
TO PROTECT ME, MY PARENTS SENT ME AWAY WHILE THEY STAYED TO FIGHT THE KLERG.
EAT IT, KLERG! I LANDED ON EARTH AND TOOK THE FORM OF A HUMAN.
AT FIRST, I WAS SCARED.
FORTUNATELY, I MET A VERY NICE FAMILY.
HELLO, I'M MARVIN! THAT'S HOW WE GREET PEOPLE IN KLOOTON.
IT'S VERY POLITE.
THEY AGREED TO RAISE ME LIKE THEIR OWN SON UNTIL THE KLERG WERE DEFEATED.
NOW I'M LIVING A SECRET LIFE AS A NORMAL AMERICAN KID.
AND YOU CAN BARELY TELL I'M DIFFERENT.
[both giggling] - AREN'T GIRLS AWESOME? - WELL, NOW THAT YOU POINT IT OUT, I'M HAVING A HARD TIME TAKING MY EYES OFF THEM.
- OOH, LOOK AT HER.
- YES, I'M DRAWN TO HER MEDIUM TORSO AND LARGE HEAD.
[chuckles] OOH, LARGE TORSO AND MEDIUM HEAD.
ALSO PLEASING.
- WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GO AND ASK HER OUT? THAT'S HOW I MET MY GIRLFRIEND LAST SUMMER.
OKAY, WE ACTUALLY NEVER ME IN PERSON.
IT WAS AN ONLINE FANTASY GAME.
WE NEVER WENT ON A DATE.
IT WAS MORE OF A GROUP MISSION TO KILL AN OGRE.
AND I WASN'T EVEN SURE SHE WAS A GIRL, BUT HER AVATAR WAS HOT! - ASK HER OUT? WELL, BACK ON KLOOTON-- - WHAT? - I MEANKLOO JERSEY.
- HUH? - I MEAN, NEW JERSEY.
[adopting Jersey accent] FORGET ABOUT IT.
BACK THERE, WE DIDN'T ASK GIRLS OUT.
OUR MATES CHOSE US ON THE STYLE, ORIGINALITY, AND SWEATINESS [sniffs] OF OUR MATING DANCE.
OH, OBSERVE AS THESE FEMALES YIELD TO ME.
[gasps] [whirring and beeping] - WOW.
I WISH I COULD FORGET ABOUT THAT.
- DON'T LOOK NOW, BUT BLAINE'S OVER THERE.
- OKAY! QUICK! LAUGH LIKE I SAID SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY.
[both giggling] OKAY, NOW STROKE YOUR CHIN LIKE I SAID SOMETHING REALLY SMART.
- HMM.
HMM.
- OKAY, NOW AC LIKE I'M REALLY PRETTY.
- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
- OH, QUICK! HE'S COMING OVER HERE.
HE'S SO CUTE! - I KNOW! EVERY TIME I SEE HIM, MY BRAIN JUST TURNS INTO SPAGHETTI.
[both giggling] - WHAT'S UP, GUYS? - BYE, LOCKER.
I'M GONNA BE AT MY TERI.
- YOU KNOW WHA YOU'RE DOING SATURDAY? - UM, STUDYING FOR THE S.
A.
T.
s? - WELL, I GOT A MULTIPLE-CHOICE QUESTION FOR YOU: YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH ME.
- [chuckles] THAT'S NOT EVEN A QUESTION.
BUT THE ANSWER IS, "YES, I'LL GO OUT WITH YOU.
" - GET READY FOR LIFE IN THE FAST BLAINE.
- [chuckles softly] [both squealing] - I SEE YOU CONSENTED TO A DATE WITH THAT THICK-NECKED, LARGE-TORSOED BOY.
WAS HIS MATING DANCE EXTRA [sniffs twice] SWEATY? - MATING DANCE? - UH, NO, MARVIN, HE'S JUST HOT.
- HOT? OH, SO THAT'S THE SECRET.
I MUST MAKE MYSELF HOT.
[loud sizzling] IT WORKED! I AM NOW HOT.
- MARVIN! WHY IS YOUR HEAD SMOKING? - [belches] OH.
OH! I HAVE BEEN INFORMED BY KNOWLEDGEABLE PEOPLE THAT AN ELEVATED BODY TEMPERATURE IS THE KEY TO MEETING THE LADIES.
- [laughs] MARVIN, ARE YOU TRYING TO MEET GIRLS? - YEAH, BUT MY FIRST ATTEMPTS HAVE NOT GONE SO WELL.
OR AS YOU HUMANS SAY, WE DID NOT "SHAKE LIPS.
" - YEAH, HUMANS DON'T SAY THAT.
- NO.
MARVIN MARVIN SWEETIE.
LET ME HELP YOU WITH THIS, OKAY? I UNDERSTAND WOMEN.
- LIZ, LIZ, PLEASE? IF YOU DON'T MIND.
- REALLY? - I THINK--YEAH, I THINK THIS IS REALLY KIND OF A FATHER/SON TALK.
- SERIOUSLY? - OR A FATHER/ADOPTED ALIEN-LIFE-FORM-SON TALK.
SO IF YOU DON'T MIND - GO AHEAD.
- THANKS SO MUCH.
OH, AND USE YOUR NOTEBOOK FOR THIS ONE.
OKAY, I'LL START WITH THE BASICS 'CAUSE YOU'RE NEW AT DATING.
ALWAYS MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT.
- SHOWER 'EM WITH GIFTS.
- DON'T BE AFRAID TO CRY.
- NEVER CRY! - SAY THEIR NAME A LOT.
- BE SENSITIVE.
- BE MANLY.
- CHASE HER.
- NEVER CHASE HER.
- TRUST ME.
- TRUST ME.
- TRUST ME.
- YOUR NAME'S KENDRA, RIGHT? - YEAH.
- [chuckles] HELLO, KENDRA.
KENDRA, KENDRA, KENDRA, KENDRA, KENDRA, KENDRA, KENDRA, KENDRA, KENDRA, KENDRA, WOMEN LOVE TO HEAR THEIR NAME A LOT, RIGHT, KENDRA? - UM - WITNESS MY MANLINESS! CHECK OUT THESE GUNS! WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING? "BE SENSITIVE.
" SHALL I COMPARE THEE TO A SUMMER'S DAY? [sobs] THIS PART ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY, WHICH I'M NOT AFRAID TO DO.
- I GOT TO GO TO CLASS.
- OH, WAIT.
EYE CONTACT.
- GET AWAY FROM ME! - OH! CHASE TIME.
PERFECT.
I AM NEVER GOING TO GET A DATE.
- WHOA.
COOL.
YOUR POD JUST GOT DARKER.
- YEAH, IT CHANGES COLORS WITH MY MOOD.
AND RIGHT NOW, I'M VERY SAD DUE TO MY KENDRA, KENDRA, KENDRA DISASTER.
- WELL, OF COURSE, YOU TOOK ADVICE FROM MOM AND DAD.
NEVER TAKE ADVICE FROM OLD PEOPLE.
- WHO SHOULD I TAKE ADVICE FROM? - ME.
I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS.
- WOW! HOW DID YOU GET SO MANY? - IT TOOK A LOT OF PRESENTS, A LOT OF LIES, AND THREE CELL PHONES.
BUT FIRST THING YOU NEED TO DO IS GET A DATE.
AND YOU'RE NEVER GONNA MEET HER IN THAT SAD SACK.
SO GET OUT OF THERE AND GET BACK IN THE GAME.
- YOUNG HUMANOID BROTHER, YOUR WORDS ARE MORE INSPIRING THAN A KLOOTONIAN BATTLE HYMN PLAYED FROM A SCROD.
I'M STARTING TO FEEL BETTER.
- I CAN SEE THAT.
[yells] - [shrieks] - EITHER FEAR IS YELLOW, OR YOU JUST PEED YOUR POD.
[doorbell rings] - HEY.
- HEY! YOU LOOK NICE.
I LIKE YOUR JACKET.
- YEAH.
IT LOOKS REALLY GOOD ON ME.
SO WE GOT A PROBLEM.
MY ANNOYING COUSIN JUST ROLLED INTO TOWN, AND MY PARENTS ARE MAKING ME HANG OUT WITH HER.
IT WAS REALLY LAST-MINUTE.
- OHI UNDERSTAND.
THAT'S COOL.
- SHE WANTS ME TO TAKE HER TO SOME LAME, SPACE-THEMED RESTAURANT.
I'D MUCH RATHER HANG OU WITH YOU, BUT I CAN'T DITCH HER.
- HI.
- I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA WAIT IN THE CAR.
- I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA LEAVE A WINDOW OPEN.
I'M HALEY.
- I'M TERI.
- TERI IS A BOY'S NAME.
[snorting and laughing] - SORRY, TOO BAD WE DON'T HAVE A DATE FOR HER.
THEN WE COULD STILL GO OUT.
- DID SOMEONE SAY DATE? BECAUSE I AM AVAILABLE.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT.
- YES, I AM! HELLO, I'M MARVIN, TERI'S COUSIN FROM THE UNITED STATES OF NEW JERSEY.
- REALLY? I'M A COUSIN TOO.
[together] WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON! WE SAID THAT AT THE SAME TIME.
WE ALSO SAID THA AT THE SAME TIME! - OKAY, ENOUGH.
- HEY, COME HERE.
THIS COULD WORK.
I MEAN, THESE TWO CAN BABYSIT EACH OTHER.
AND THAT WAY, WE CAN HANG OUT.
- YOU MEAN DOUBLE-DATE? YOU MEAN US GO ON A DATE WITH THEM? NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
- DOUBLE DATE? I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN ON A SINGLE DATE.
- ME NEITHER.
ANOTHER THING IN COMMON! - THAT'S GREAT.
PROBLEM SOLVED.
- NO, NO, PROBLEM NOT SOLVED.
THIS IS NOT-- - ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, LET'S BOUNCE.
- BOUNCE? I CAN DO THAT.
LOOK AT ME.
BOING, BOING, BOING, BOING TERI, I AM SO EXCITED FOR OUR DOUBLE DATE.
- YEAH, ME TOO.
THERE'S JUST ONE THING I GOT TO DO.
[screaming] - BOING, BOING, BOING! - OKAY, ENOUGH BOINGING.
- WOW.
THIS PLACE IS SWEET.
THAT GALAXY DIED 10 MILLION YEARS AGO, BUT I'M COOL WITH IT.
- THIS PLACE IS AWESOME.
- HIGH FIVE! - ZERO GRAVITY.
- WHOOSH - GREETINGS, SPACE TRAVELERS.
WELCOME TO PLANET PLANET.
- GREETINGS, I AM MARVIN! - I AM KEITH FROM THE PLANET NEPTUNE.
- [sniffing furiously] HE'S NOT FROM NEPTUNE.
HE'S A HUMAN.
KEITH, NO MORE FIBS, OKAY? - IS OUR TABLE READY? - PLEASE, COME WITH ME.
- ALL RIGHTY, YOU GUYS GO AHEAD AND SIT DOWN.
WE'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
MARVIN, LISTEN, IF YOU DON'T ACT NORMAL, YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN THIS DATE.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THE DATE'S GOING GREAT.
SHE SAT NEXT TO ME IN THE CAR.
- NO, NO, MARVIN.
TRUST ME.
IF YOU KEEP ACTING THE WAY YOU'RE ACTING, THIS IS NEVER GOING TO WORK.
SO HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO, OKAY? NO BOUNCING.
NO FACE-SLAPPING.
- [gasps] DATING ADVICE FROM MY SISTER? A NOT-OLD FEMALE? KEEP GOING.
- OH! DATING ADVICE.
RIGHT.
I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SOME DATING ADVICE.
OKAY, HERE'S SOME DATING NO-NOS.
NO SNIFFING WAITERS.
NO MATING DANCES.
AND NO TALKING TO DOGS.
JUST BE NORMAL.
- GOT IT.
[scoffs] I CAN BE NORMAL.
I'M GONNA BE SO NORMAL, YOU AREN'T EVEN GONNA KNOW HOW NORMAL-- [dishes clattering] [glass shattering] THAT WAS A VERY NORMAL ACCIDENT.
WANT A GUM BALL? - OH, BOY.
OKAY.
THIS UFO MESSAGE BOARD IS SHOWING ALL KINDS OF ALIEN ACTIVITY.
I MEAN, IT COULD BE KLERG.
- OR SOME WEIRD DUDE IN HIS MOM'S BASEMEN KILLING TIME BETWEEN COMIC CONS.
[laughter] - RELAX, BOB, JUST SIT DOWN AND WATCH THE MOVIE.
- REALLY? RELAX? - OH! - OH, COME ON! - NO, NO, HOW CAN I RELAX WHEN THERE'S A PURPLE-SKINNED, YELLOW-EYED MONSTER OUT THERE AND HE'S LOOKING FOR MARVIN? - YOU KNOW, I HAVE AN IDEA.
HOW ABOUT A LATE-NIGHT PATROL? - NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
WE'LL GO IN TEAMS OF TWO.
YOU AND I WILL TAKE THE FIRST SHIFT.
- OH, I'D HATE TO SLOW YOU DOWN.
- YOU WANT ME TO GO ALONE? - TAKE THE HIN AND TAKE A WALK.
- FINE.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T NEED YOU.
I'LL BE SAVING THE WORLD ALL BY MYSELF.
- DAD, WAIT! - THERE YOU GO, BUDDY.
I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T LET ME GO OUT THERE ALONE.
- REMOTE.
- WOW, WE'VE SURE HAD SOME NORMAL WEATHER TODAY.
AND HOW ABOU THAT NORMAL SPORTING EVENT? RIGHT? - DUDE, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT? - JUST NORMAL STUFF FROM A NORMAL GUY.
HALEY, DID I EVER TELL YOU THAT I JUST HAVE ONE HEART, ONE STOMACH, AND ONE BUTT? - SO, BLAINE, HOW'S THE BAND DOING? - ROCKIN' HARD.
- THAT SOUNDS AWESOME.
- YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS ROCKIN' HARD? YOU.
- OH, STOP.
OKAY, KEEP GOING.
- HEY, MARVIN, THEY DON'T HAVE AN ARCADE HERE.
THEY HAVE A STARCADE.
- OOH, A STARCADE? - LET'S BOUNCE OVER THERE.
- OH, SORRY.
NO BOUNCING ALLOWED.
- TWO GALAXY SHAKES.
ONE MINT NEBULA SHAKE.
AND ONE REGULAR CHOCOLATE.
- NOW, YOU'RE SURE THIS IS THE MOST NORMAL SHAKE ON THE MENU? [sighs] 'CAUSE I AM NORMAL.
NORMAL.
- BORING.
- BORING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU DON'T LIKE NORMAL? - I HATE NORMAL.
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU LIKE? - I LIKE THE GUY YOU WERE BEFORE: THE BOUNCING, SNIFFING GUY.
- INTERESTING.
GUESS I JUST GO SOME BAD ADVICE FROM SOMEONE VERY CLOSE TO ME AND JUST TO MY LEFT.
HALEY, IF YOU LIKE MY BOUNCING, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.
- MARVIN! - NO, NO.
I GOT THIS.
[slurping] [sighs] [sputtering] [sighs] AH! - THAT WAS DISGUSTINGLY AWESOME! - [laughs] - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - OH, JUST WARMING A MILKSHAKE WITH MY NASAL PASSAGES.
NOW, IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY MORE SILLY QUESTIONS, LET'S TAKE A PICTURE.
MY BROTHER HENRY'S GONNA BE SO PROUD OF ME.
[camera shutter clicks] [cell phone beeps] - [chuckles] MARVIN SENT ME A PICTURE OF HIM AND HIS DATE.
MY BOY'S A PLAYER! - [laughs] HEY, WHO'S THAT BEHIND HIM? [together] KLERG! - HIT THE DECK! - MARVIN! MARVIN! WHOO! - [gasps] MY HEAD! WHY DO I HAVE THIS HEADACHE? - YOU GOT BRAIN FREEZE.
- BRAIN FREEZE? MUST WARM FRONTAL LOBES.
- HERE, WARM WITH HOT CHOCOLATE.
- OH! UGH! OH, TOO HOT! BRAIN BURN! [panting] AH! - THAT WAS MY DESSERT! - DON'T WORRY.
I CAN GIVE IT BACK TO YOU.
- MARVIN, STOP! WE'RE JUST GONNA NOT THROW UP OVER HERE.
I ASKED YOU TO BE NORMAL FOR ONE NIGHT.
- AND THAT WAS GREAT ADVICE UNTIL IT TURNED OU TO BE AWFUL ADVICE.
HALEY DOES NOT LIKE NORMAL.
- BUT BLAINE DOES.
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HIM TO ASK ME OUT? - SIX MONTHS? - NO.
- 50 YEARS? - NO! - TWO WEEKS? - MARVIN! - HOW MANY MORE GUESSES DO I GET? 7? 16? 4 1/2? - I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU.
THIS IS A DATE WITH THE GUY OF MY DREAMS.
AND YOU'RE RUINING IT.
- [sighs] TERI, I AM SORRY.
I JUST WANTED MY DATE TO GO SO WELL, I FORGOT ABOUT YOURS.
NOW, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIX THIS.
HALEY, I NEED TO TELL YOU OUR DATE IS OVER.
- [laughs] YOU'RE FUNNY.
NOW PUT THESE FRENCH FRIES IN YOUR NOSE AND SAY IT AGAIN.
- HALEY, I'M SERIOUS.
MY NOSE CANNOT BE USED TO CONSUME FOOD ANYMORE, AND, UNFORTUNATELY, OUR DATE MUST BE TERMINATED.
- WAIT.
YOU'RE SERIOUS? WHY? - NO, MARVIN, WAIT.
- NO.
OUR DATE MUST DIE SO THEIR DATE CAN LIVE.
- I KNEW YOU WERE TOO WEIRD TO BE TRUE.
BLAINE, I'LL BE IN THE STARCADE.
- [whimpers] IT'S A CLASSIC HUMAN LOVE STORY: BOY MEETS GIRL.
BOY BOUNCES WITH GIRL.
BOY GOES TO BATHROOM TO EXPEL SORROW LIQUIDS.
- WOW.
I HOPE HE'S OKAY.
- DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT HIM.
HE'S FINALLY GONE.
- HE WAS REALLY UPSET.
- YEAH, YEAH, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT THAT LOSER ANYMORE.
LET'S TALK ABOUT ME.
- BLAINE, DON'T CALL MARVIN A LOSER.
MARVIN'S A GOOD GUY WHO RUINED HIS DATE TO SAVE OURS.
- SHH, FORGET ABOUT THE LOSER.
- I ASKED YOU NOT TO CALL HIM A LOSER.
- FINE.
WEIRDO.
FREAK WAD.
NUT JOB.
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S STUDYING FOR THE S.
A.
T.
s.
YOU PROBABLY GOT MORE CINNAMONS FOR THAT.
- FIRST OF ALL, IT'S SYNONYMS.
SECOND, I'D RATHER HAVE A WEIRDO COUSIN THAT A PERFECT-LOOKING JERK LIKE YOU.
- OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
- NO, DESPITE YOUR PERFECT HAIR AND YOUR PERFECT TEETH AND YOUR PERFEC DEEP BROWN EYES, SO DARK AND DEEP I WISH I COULD TURN MYSELF INTO A CONTACT LENS AND JUST LIE ON TOP OF THEM ALL DAY.
WHAT AM I DOING? GO AWAY.
GET OUT OF MY SIGHT.
[whispers] BUT DO IT SLOWLY.
- I JUST CAME BACK FROM A VERY NORMAL TRIP TO THE BATHROOM.
I DRIED MY TEARS AND WASHED MY FEE IN THE FOOTBATH THAT FLUSHES.
- YEAH, HE'S NOT A FREAK AT ALL.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
HALEY! LET'S GO.
AND YOU, WEIRDO.
YOU OWE ME A MILKSHAKE.
- MARVIN, YOU KNOW THAT WHOLE "NORMAL" THING? I CHANGED MY MIND.
LET'S GIVE HIM BACK HIS MILKSHAKE.
OKAY? - [belches] - HERE YOU GO.
- DUDE! - I KNOW HE DIDN'T ORDER IT, BUT I ALSO GAVE HIM FRIES WITH THAT.
- LET'S GO.
I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYBODY SAYS.
I LOOK AWESOME IN MILKSHAKE.
- HEY, LOOK OVER THERE! - HUH? [chuckles] - MARVIN, YOU GAVE UP YOUR DATE FOR MINE.
THAT WAS ONE OF THE SWEETEST, KINDEST THINGS MARVIN? ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? MARVIN? - OH, SORRY.
I CAN'T CONCENTRATE.
I'M OVERWHELMED BY THIS WEIRD FEELING IN MY HEARTS.
- NOW, THAT FEELING IS TOTALLY NORMAL.
[group screaming] all: DIE, KLERG! [dramatic choral music] - IF HE WERE A REAL KLERG, WOULDN'T HE HAVE DISINTEGRATED BY NOW? - OH, BOY, HE'S ONLY A WAITER.
- ONLY A WAITER? YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MY PARENTS.
- I JUST GOT YOUR TEXT.
- OH, WE MESSED UP.
HONEY, I'M SORRY.
WE THOUGHT IT WAS THE KLERG.
- MESSED UP? - YEAH.
- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU FOLLOWED YOUR TRAINING PERFECTLY.
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS.
- WE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
THE COPS WILL BE HERE ANY MINUTE.
- COPS? I AIN'T GOING BACK.
- WOW, THEY'RE EVEN MORE EMBARRASSING THAN YOU.
- MY FIRST DATE.
MY FIRST KISS.
MY FIRS MISTAKEN KLERG ATTACK.
BEST DAY EVER.
- HEY, TERI.
- HEY.
SO WHAT HAPPENED WITH HALEY? - SHE GAVE ME HER NUMBER, BUT I DON'T WAN TO SEEM TOO EAGER.
BACK ON KLOOTON, IT'S TRADITIONAL FOR A GUY TO WAIT 30 YEARS BEFORE CALLING.
- MM.
MAYBE A LITTLE SOONER.
- 15 MINUTES? - NO.
- EIGHT MONTHS? - NO.
- TWO WEEKS? - NO.
- 15 MONTHS? - NO.
- FOUR LIGHT-YEARS? - MARVIN [toy squeaking] FETCH! - MR.
WEINER! - WELL, HE IS LOYAL.