My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic s02e23 Episode Script

Ponyville Confidential

Can you believe Featherweight got his cutie mark? Featherweight! Before us! Great cutie mark, Featherweight! Looking good! I give up I've got it! The answer to all our problems! The Foal Free Press? How's the school paper gonna get us our cutie marks? Move your caboose! That's Granny Smith.
Gotta run! Maybe there's something to this newspaper idea.
Guess it's worth a shot Apple Bloom, your newspaper idea was nothing but a big bust.
We tried everything, from papier-mâché to making birds nests and nothing worked.
What's so funny? What I meant was, we should write for the paper! We can get our cutie marks as journalists! Season 2 | Episode 23 Ponyville Confidential Okay class, see you tomorrow! Oh, and for those of you who want to join the newspaper staff, stay here because we're meeting right now! Cutie marks in journalism! Such a good idea.
Welcome, everypony.
Now, as you know, our editor-in-chief graduated last year.
Yes? What's an editor-in-chief? Good question, Sweetie Belle, I like those reporters' instincts.
The Foal Free Press is a student-run paper.
I'm only involved as an advisor.
So the editor-in-chief is the pony in charge.
From choosing the stories, to making sure it gets to press on time.
Now, as I said, we have a new editor this year! Diamond Tiara?! I'll leave you alone now to discuss everypony's assignments.
Have fun! Alright, listen up.
The Foal Free Press is a joke.
Nopony at this school takes it seriously.
Well I, the editor-in-chief in charge, am gonna deliver us to newfound glory! Yay! First things first, where's the staff photographer? Get out there and document everything.
I'll decide what's important.
The rest of you, I want hard-hitting news and interesting thinkpieces.
No more namby-pamby stories like last year's editor.
But Namby-Pamby was a great editor.
Well, there's a new regime now, and I want juicy stories.
The juicier the better! Now get out there and report! Let's get out of here, girls.
Maybe we can try packing boxes again.
But this could be our last chance to earn our cutie marks! If we really are supposed to be journalists, isn't it worth a little grief? I guess you're right.
We can take a little bit of Diamond Tiara for a lifetime of cutie marks.
C'mon! Let's go get those marks! My first story's gonna be an exclusive interview.
I saw a brand new nest of baby birds the other day.
I bet our readers would eat up a sweet story like that! Granny Smith has all sorts of great stories! I reckon I'll do a piece on the history of Ponyville.
I hope you've got something, because everything so far is unusable.
"Baby Birds Born?" "Rarity's Hot New Hat?" "Ponyville, The Early Years!?" I don't know what you call this, but it sure isn't news! We just thought Get something else on my desk by the end of the day, and it better be juicy! Now what? Do you know what I had to do to get that story? Oh, you don't even wanna know what I had to sit through.
Get it off me, Snails! Yeah, you get it off me, Snips? Stop it! You are making it worse! Oh, great.
I'll get it.
Get it off! Get it off! Hey, Featherweight, c'mere! Take a few pictures of this, then meet me during lunch.
Girls, I have our story.
Snips and Snails in bubblegum fails! "And that's when the biggest jokester in school really stuck his hoof in it" " literally!" The Foal Free Press is usually just boring news and stuff.
So funny! Our mothers always told us we'd end up in the papers someday.
Yeah, and look! We finally got the gum out! Your column is a sensation! I don't want you doing news anymore.
I want more columns like this.
Columns about ponies and their private lives The things they do when they think they're alone You three are my new gossip columnists! And I love the way you signed it! Gabby Gums that was a stroke of genius! We couldn't fit all of our names.
So we decided to create one for all three of us.
Well, I want more Gabby Gums! Nice work, girls.
But we sure seem to have a gift for gossip.
If we can write a few more of these Gabby Gums columns, we'll earn our cutie marks for sure! Scootaloo? Do you have anything? Nope.
Apple Bloom? Sorry.
Let's face it, nothing very juicy happens at this school.
We're doomed.
Sweetie Belle was she raised in a barn or something? You really shouldn't be snooping, Rarity.
Oh, but it's so much fun, Rarity.
Hello what's this? Gum on their bum! Too rich! Can you please keep it down with all the laughter? I'm trying to- hey! I was just Are you snooping through my saddlebag? How dare you! Oh, but this Gabby Gums column is so funny! You actually like the school paper? It's so much juicier than anything in the boring old Ponyville Express.
Could I borrow this to show my friends? Your friends would wanna read the Foal Free Press? Oh, they'd just love Gabby Gums! Who is she, anyway? I've never heard of her before.
Is she a new- We gave up too quickly, girls.
Forget trying to squeeze stories out of this school.
We need to expand! We can find all kinds of great gossip out there in Ponyville! We'll need to tell Featherweight to start working overtime.
Sweetie Belle, you're a genius! "Pound and Pumpkin Cake trip to the store ends in tears.
" Gabby Gums comes through again! The Ponyville news stand wants to carry the Foal Free Press! Ponies keep coming by and asking for it! Send 'em twenty copies, and if they run out of those, we'll send 'em twenty more! You three are doing a great job for this paper.
Keep those columns coming! This is great! Oh, this is the life, isn't it, girls? The best hooficure I've ever had! You said it.
I don't know if I've ever been so relaxed.
You guys! The new Gabby Gums just came out! "The Great and Powerful Trixie's secrets revealed!" We already read that one, Rainbow Dash.
Come on, relax, have a hooficure, it feels amazing.
Did you forget who you're talking to? The day I get a hooficure is the day I turn in my daredevil license.
Besides, I haven't read this Gabby Gums yet.
Well, do it quietly, will ya? Some of us are trying to unwind! I like Gabby Gums too, but don't you think she can be a little mean? She's not mean, Twilight, she's a hoot! "Celestia, just like us?" Gabby Gums doesn't value anypony's privacy.
Oh, lighten up, Twilight, there's nothing but harmless gossip! Yeah, Twilight, I mean listen to this one.
"Mayor, not naturally gray!" "The Mayor in a mane dyeing scandal?" Who wouldn't wanna read that? I just can't help feeling sorry for the ponies featured in her columns.
It's gotta be a little embarrassing.
Are you kidding? Do you know how awesome it is to get your name in the paper? Rainbow, why don't you join me in one of these delicious hooficures? It's that good, huh? Well, maybe just one little hoof.
Forget it, I don't like ponies touching my hooves.
Man I'd love it if Gabby Gums did a story on me.
She did one on me.
What?! "Exclusive! Local dragon tells all.
" "Spike opens up about Canterlot, naps, and his favorite jams!" It's our best column yet! More like your worst column yet! Gabby Gums didn't become the biggest thing in Ponyville with namby-pamby stories like this! Yeah, she's right.
This column is a little softer than our usual gossip.
Were you guys feeling guilty about all the gossip too? Like maybe we could be hurting other ponies' feelings? Yeah, I didn't wanna say anything because everypony loves Gabby Gums so much, but I was sorta hoping we could start writing more stories like this one.
Me too.
If we're gonna get our cutie marks, we've got to give the ponies what they want.
"Applejack, asleep on the job!" Can y'all believe this?! And this one: "Big Macintosh, what's he hiding?" Who the hay does this Gabby Gums think she is? Listen to this one.
"Twilight Sparkle, I was a Canterlot snob.
" "A well-placed scaly source close to the prissy pony says" "Twilight Sparkle thinks Ponyville is nothing but muddy roads" " and low-class rooves.
" Spike! How could you say such a thing? Well, I didn't! Gabby Gums made that up! I never said anything like that! Everypony, please! She's just a harmless schoolpony engaged in a little idle gossip.
You're really making too big a deal out of this.
But it's all lies! Gabby Gums prints whatever she wants.
She doesn't care whose reputation she destroys! "Fluttershy has tail extensions!" "Pinkie Pie is an out-of-control party animal!" What?! It's true! I do have a problem! Oh look! According to this one, the Cakes are breaking up! We are?! Well, my life is officially over.
Gabby Gums has made it to Cloudsdale.
"Rainbow Dash, Speed demon or super softie?" I grabbed as many copies as I could, but it was too late! I'm a laughing stock! See, Rarity? Your so-called 'harmless gossip' can be very hurtful! Honestly, you ponies have no sense of humor.
So she tweaks a few ponies every now and then, maybe they deserv- I'll destroy her! "The drama queen diaries.
" She's reprinted my diary! How could Gabby Gums possibly get access to my private diary?! We've got to put a stop to this once and for all! Sweetie Belle's on the newspaper staff.
Maybe she knows who Gabby Gums is! My sister would never associate with anyone as beastly as Gabby Gums! I resent you even suggesting such a thing, Twilight! Why, she's the most innocent, most lovely most evil pony in Equestria! My own sister steals my private diary.
How could my own sister be Gabby Gums? Et tu, Gabby Gums?! You know?! How'd you find out?! The gilded pages of your betrayal! Oh yeah.
How could you do this to me?! You stole my secret diary and published it for all the world to read! Gossip can be a very hurtful thing.
It is an invasion of privacy, just like when I snooped through your saddlebag.
You didn't like that much, did you? No What is important is that you understand how your column makes the ponies that you're writing about feel! I do understand, and we've all been feeling guilty.
But we just want our cutie marks so badly! Do you really think that writing nasty things and making everypony feel horrible is your destiny? Well, when you put it that way No! I won't let you quit! But the gossip we've been printing is hurting everypony's feelings! Feelings? I don't care about feelings! Gabby Gums is my bread and butter.
And I'm not gonna let you goody two horseshoes take that away from me! We're sorry, Diamond Tiara, but we've made our decision.
Yeah, you can't force us to keep gossiping.
When you see these You may not want to quit after all.
I told Featherweight to document everything And that's exactly what he did.
Gimme those! Sorry, girls, property of the Foal Free Press.
And if Gabby Gums really does go into retirement, I'll need something to fill that empty column space.
Now get out there and bring me more Gabby Gums! We'll find a way out of this, girls.
Maybe Rainbow Dash will have a story for us.
She's always good for some gossip.
Rainbow Dash! Hey, Rainbow Dash! Well, if it isn't Gabby Gums.
You heard too, huh? Are you kidding? Everypony in town knows it's you three.
Don't suppose you'd let us write a column on you, huh? Oh, hi Angel, is Fluttershy home? Hey, what gives? Twilight thought you might try to show your faces around here, so she put up a force field.
Aw, c'mon, Applejack! You're not mad at us too, are you? Yup.
You're not even gonna talk to us? Nope.
You should be ashamed of yourself, humiliatin' your sister 'n' me like that.
We don't wanna talk to any y'all right now, so take your little gossip column and your embarrassing photographs and just go away! We've ruined all of our friendships and we still don't have our cutie marks! This is the worst day ever! Oh yeah? Wait 'til tomorrow.
Our most embarrassing moments are about to be published for everypony to laugh at.
So, what do we do? I don't know.
We're not leaving this clubhouse until we think of something! That's it, Gabby Gums is out of time.
Run these instead.
I want this paper on every street corner in Ponyville! Yes, ma'am! Stop the presses! Uh, they haven't started yet.
We have a Gabby Gums column! You're lucky I'm nice.
This better not happen again, or else.
Well done, Diamond Tiara.
You've averted yet another crisis with your amazing diplomatic skills.
"An open letter to Ponyville by Gabby Gums"?! What is this?! They're not gonna get away with this! I'll publish those photos tomorrow! They messed with the wrong pony! To the citizens of Ponyville.
For some time now, you've been reading this column to get the latest dirt and the hottest buzz.
But this will be my final piece.
We want to apologize for the pain and embarrassment we've caused.
Y'see, I'm actually three little fillies.
Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo.
As the popularity of our column grew, we got swept up in the hype.
We knew that what we were doing didn't feel quite right, but we ignored the guilt, because everypony seemed to want to read what we were writing.
From now on, we promise to respect everypony else's privacy.
and we won't engage in hurtful gossip any more.
All we can do is ask for your forgiveness, Ponyville.
Signing off for the very last time, XOXO, Gabby Gums.
Well, staff, I guess I gave a little too much authority to a first-time editor.
I'm sorry, Diamond Tiara, I have to strip you of your title.
And for the next editor of the Foal Free Press Here's your new editor-in-chief, Featherweight! Oh, him? But what about me?! Here ya go! I've been promoted to staff photographer!