Pinky and the Brain (1995) s03e05 Episode Script

My Feldmans, My Friends

Gee, brain, what do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, pinky, Try to take over the world.
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! by warner bros.
Radio, pinky, The last bastion of unfettered communication.
And the one place You don't have to look at that guy tori spelling.
Once we complete this tower, pinky, Every radio on the planet Will be forcibly tuned to one station-- K-Brain.
Ooh, k-Brain? I always thought the "k" was silent, Like the "j" in pinky.
K-Narf! Pinky, here's a fun one.
Try making the sound of silent "e.
" Tonight, my friend, i shall deliver a fireside chat So chockfull of persuasive propaganda, The cradle of humanity will hail me as "the greater communicator.
" Whee! Narf! "Step number 4-- Fit red rubber nub over apex.
" Pinky, make yourself functional And fetch me my pliers and the red rubber nub.
Uh-Huh, uh-Huh, uh-Huh.
Pliers? Yes, pliers.
They have 2 handles and aply.
Ooh, handles! Zort! Oh, here we are, brain.
Pliers and a red rubber nub, No, that's a moist jarvic heart wrapped in a sleeveless jersey.
Want to know where i got it? No.
Go put it back, quickly.
You want something done right, You have to do it your-- Yaaaaah! Self.
Are you all right, brain? Ohhhh! Yes, yes, darling.
Now make mama a sandwich.
Did you find your rub-Neeba nib nab nub? Narf! No.
Apparently, we're still red rubber nubless.
Perhaps we used it in the wrong capacity.
We'll have to disassemble the tower.
Really? Wrong ribba nibba In the neeba rub rib bub? There are days i think i'd be more productive If my sidekick Were a pliant corndog.
Let's start over.
Disassemble tower.
Check.
Red rubber nub, no check.
[Grumbling.]
Ow! Brain, get a hold of yourself.
The doppler modifications i've made To boost the tower's power Have turned this transmitter Into an earth-Endangering lightning rod.
[Gasp.]
I don't get it.
Without that red rubber nub, One bolt of lightning will cook the earth Like a big baked potato.
Egad, brain! We'll surely burn If we don't cover our shoulders in sour cream.
Sometimes, pinky, I think i do have a pliant corndog for a sidekick.
Yes, i've bought your box o' tower, But i didn't get my red rubber nub.
Only one left.
Well, send it to me right away.
Mr.
The brain.
Yes, that's right, acme labs.
Thank you.
Pinky, what are you doing? [Grunting.]
Trying to see the top of my head.
[Knock on door.]
My nub.
Oop! I could swear i heard a knock.
Look, brain.
"Sorry you weren't here.
" They've delivered the package To our next-Door neighbor.
I didn't know we had a neighbor.
No.
Not since that nice mr.
Carlisle exploded.
We must retrieve our package, pinky.
Our plan, in fact, the world itself is at stake.
But we can't risk revealing ourselves To someone who lives in the vicinity.
We must concoct a disguise so cunning Our neighbor would never suspect that we are 2 lab mice Bent on taking over the world.
[Doorbell chimes.]
Greetings, neighbor.
We're the feldmans.
Feldman? I didn't know i had neighbors.
Not since that nice mr.
Carlisle exploded.
Yes.
Uh, my name is mr.
Feldman.
And i am the lovely and sociable mrs.
Vera feldman.
We live in the blue-Hued structure Just round the bend.
The laboratory? Uhit was a laboratory.
It went condo last year.
My name is sultana.
What's your first name? Sultana.
Sultana sultana? Yes, yes, mr.
Sultana sultana.
But you can call me barry.
Mrs.
Feldman and i returned to our middle class Suburbanite habitat, And we found a note stuck to the door.
Do you have our package, mr.
Barry barry banana fofari? Yes, feldman, i do have your package.
Somewhere.
Give me a minute to find my shovel.
Get back! Get back! Get off of my back! Ah, here it is.
Here we go, my friends.
One package for mr What did you tell me your last name was, mr.
Feldman? Feldman.
This package is for a mr.
The brain.
Those 2 names are completely different.
Like sultana and sultana.
Yes, well, uh Mr.
The brain was my, uhnickname On the old high school rassling squad.
Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Someone is shaving the wool out from under my eyes.
Forgive me, my friends, But my civic duties are pinching.
I don't know you from another hole in my head.
I cannot go giving this package to willy nilly.
Good-Bye! My friends! The feldmans.
Such a misguided ploy.
What was i thinking? The storm's due to hit within 8 hours.
If we don't secure that nub, we'll end up like like the crumbs that occupy the corner of my eye? In a manner of speaking.
What do we do now, brain? We must win the neighborly trust of mr.
Sultana, And then convince him i am mr.
The brain.
Faster! Cut the grass, cut the grass! No! Your munching is quite haphazard.
Hello, mr.
Sultana.
It's me, the neighborhood welcome wagon Bringing you a potted posy And a bowl of moldy jell-O.
Mrs.
Feldman means jell-O mold.
Really? In what language? Hey, feldman, that's some nice tool you got there.
Thanks, barry.
Care to take her for a spin around the yard? Would i? Would i? Peg leg.
I'm liking you more, feldman.
Please, you can call me Mr.
The brain.
Mmm, i'm not liking you that much.
Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Yes, now for step 2.
Operation fake yearbook With my face pasted over someone else's.
Which plan is that, brain? Whoa! That's some humdinger.
Hey what you reading, bazooka joe? No, we were just reliving days gone by As depicted here in this, My high school yearbook.
Oh, look, mr.
Feldman, Oh, here's your senior portrait.
Narf! Look at that hair.
Ha ha.
What was i thinking? This looks familiar.
Hey, i went to purnell roberts union high school, too.
See, look at my hair.
Remember me? I was in the chorus of the music man.
I played trombone number 72.
See? That lousy gary busey, Every year he beat me out for the lead: The musical man in the music man, Curly in oklahoma, Hedda gabler.
Gee whiz, We're old high school chums.
Well, why not fetch my package For old purnell high's sake? I'll tell you what, my friend.
If nobody claims package in 2 days, I'll give it to you.
Oh, that really chaps my pelt.
Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering? I think so, brain.
But how will we get the spice girls Into the paella? No, pinky, It's time to take drastic measures With this neighbor thing.
The backyard barbecue.
Mm-Mmm, lovely mrs.
Feldman.
Them franks sure smell like a little piece of heaven.
Barry: yoo-Hoo, the feldmans! Remember, pinky, we must humor him, Gain his trust, And then gain access to his house.
I brought back your jell-O bowl.
I washed it with my own 2 hands, Which is a luxury i don't even afford myself.
Well, the world could use a few more mr.
Sultana sultanas.
Ay yi yi! That's some big tower you got there.
What are you, trying to take over the world? Heh heh heh! Ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha! Take over the world! When i got it, i can't get rid of it.
Quick, the feldmans, into your house! No, no, no.
It's just been sprayed for, uh ticks.
We're friends now.
Come over to my house.
Pinky, do you realize what this means? Our package.
The door is open to nab our nub.
Follow, pinky.
[Gasp.]
Brain: what a lot ofstuff.
We'll never find that package in time.
Wait! Wait! Don't look yet! My house is not a home.
Ok! My house is a very, very, very fine house.
Come in! Come in! Mmm! I smell water-Log.
What a lovely home you have, barry.
It's somoist.
Hey, who wants juice? I do! I do! Harelip! Narf! Yes, i could do with a fresh squirt, as they say.
Hey, if i'm not back in 20 minutes, What did i, fall in? Aah! While i sneak about searching for our package, Mrs.
Feldman will distract mr.
Sultana by seducing him.
Oh, how wonderful! Mr.
Sultana is so kind and caring And swarthy and tall, And mrs.
Feldman, mrs.
Feldman is me.
Narf! Have faith, pinky.
My meteorological calculations indicate this tempest is about to befall us.
If we don't affix that red rubber nub pronto we'll suffer worse than a department store santa When rush limbaugh comes a sittin'.
Vivid, yet apropos.
Everything is hunky monkey! Your juice is frothy like the snowman or a rabid dog.
Oh, for shame.
I fear i must be leaving.
So soon? I was just getting ready to show you my wet bar.
It's sowet.
Isn't that always the way? Well, toodles! Farewell, barry.
Farewell, the lovely and nubile mrs.
Feldman.
Sorry, but some of my used clothing has become crunchy.
Well, barry um how about some music? Oh, ok.
Hi, brain.
Narf! [Violins playing.]
Oh, mrs.
Feldman, You are so lucky to have somebody.
I'm a very lonely man.
I wasn't always so charming and aloof.
In the old days, i was young and bulbous.
Barry: where are you going? Umfeed the meter? No, pinky, not yet.
Why do you run, joey, run? Do i frighten you? Oh, no, but lightning does.
So, when i hear it, i run like lightning, Which scares me even more, So i run even more lightning, uh.
Oh, i understand mrs.
Feldman.
You are leaving me like every other woman.
Exactly.
Ta-Ta! Barry: i understand.
I know your feelings.
Mr.
Feldman is a good man and a very lucky to boots.
Here.
Take your package and run to him.
Run, mrs.
Feldman, run! Yes! I'll never forget you, barry.
Call me mr.
Sultana sultana.
Mm-Hmm.
[Sad music.]
[Pinky whimpering.]
Pinky, what are you doing? Making pathos.
[Crash.]
My flute! Never mind that.
We only have To place our nub and prepare my radio address.
Pinky? [Whimpering.]
What is it? Loser.
You don't understand him, brain.
He's all lonely and alone.
Well, what do you want me to do about it? Give him the happies, please! I'll put the nub on the tower.
Just talk to him and mend his broken heart.
Ohvery well! Thank you, brain.
Don't thank me.
Just get that nub on the tower.
[Crying.]
Feldman, go away! I'm not wanting you to see me all broken up.
Ehh! Ahh! Hey, buckle up, big guy.
There's plenty of fried fish in the ocean.
When you fall off the horse, You gotta have or something.
Fine for you.
You, who have everything.
My life is like somebody who gets the pocket fisherman And then loses the pocket fish.
Poit! A wet suit? Feldman, why was i not born more like you, All swank and snazzy? Instead, i am the massive loser! All my life, i am the loser-- Losing my lunch, Losing the hair off my back, And always losing out to that no-Good gary busey For the lead in the school play! I am the president of the losers club for losers! [Crying.]
Yes, well, you have a good cry, And i'm certain things will look rosier when the grass gets greener.
You think, maybe? No! Who am i kidding? Nobody's liking me! [Crying.]
Okey-Doodles.
That's about enough.
[Straining.]
Pinky, we only have an hour until our broadcast begins.
Pinky? Pinky, what are you doing? Pinky, get down from there! You're gonna get killed! No, i'm not, brain.
I'm all rubbery and nubbery.
Aah! Waah! Wow! Hoo hoo hoo! Ooh! Oh, that was fun, brain, Almost like being struck by lightning And getting thrown from a radio tower.
Yes, like it, but completely different.
Now, what in the name of zantippy's bippy Are you doing in that wet suit, And where is my rubber nub?! Well, when i opened the box sultana gave us, It turned out to be this wet suit.
Oh, yes, the wet suit i ordered but never received For plan 2535409er, operation butterfat.
So i became my own rubber nub.
Zort! Commendably resourceful, pinky, But another lightning bolt Could strike the top of that tower at any time.
Package for mr.
The brain.
I am mr.
The brain.
[Crying.]
And i have a special delivery telegram For a mr.
Sultana.
I am mr.
Sultana.
Who could be special delivering me? Come, pinky.
We finally have our nub.
But, brain--Narf! Don't you wanna see what mr.
Sultana's letter says? Hmm hmm hmm? No time for that, pinky.
We have to save the world so we can take it over.
Success, pinky! Just in time for my radio address.
Now, when lightning hits the top of the tower, It will do no harm.
Egad! Wonderful, brain! Oh, no, wait.
What if lightning hits the side of the tower? I hadn't thought of that.
Aah! Aah! Perhaps i'll be joining mr.
Sultana In that losers club for losers.
Oh, don't worry about mr.
Sultana, brain.
Here he comes to tell us about his newfound good fortune.
Good fortune? Hello, my feldmans.
I'd love to also play with jungle jimmy, But my ships have finally come in.
Listen to the special delivery i am having.
"Come at once to addis ababa dinner theater.
Stopping.
"Gary busey canceled at last minute.
Stopping.
"Need you for lead in music man.
Signed, your high school drama teacher.
" And now i give to mr.
And mrs.
Feldman A big bag of falafel and yams For remembering me.
Bye! How did you know what was in that telegram? What? Um, me? I mean, uh--Narf! Pinky, has someone been using the lab phone for unauthorized calls? Well, just one little call to gary busey.
Hmm.
Let us just say that your extra jumbo family-Sized heart More than makes up for your free sample-Sized mind.
Now, come.
We must return to the lab And prepare for tomorrow night.
Why, brain? What are we gonna do tomorrow night, Order tickets for the addis ababa dinner theater? Only if my brains are replaced by yogurt.
Otherwise, we shall try to take over the world! they're pinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain, brain by warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.
Ncicap.
Org--
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