Pinky and the Brain (1995) s04e06 Episode Script

A Legendary Tail

Brain: it's verydark.
Extremely dark.
I am alone completely alone.
Pinky: narf! So am I! Pinky, what are you doing in here? I didn't want you to be lonely, Brain.
That is precisely the point of a sensory deprivation tank, Pinky.
I need to be completely isolated so I can gather my thoughts.
Oh, yay! You can gather up your thoughts in a big basket and skip merrily down the street! La-la, la, la, la-la as I was saying, I need to be alone.
Oh, no, Brain.
Wait! Don't you remember what happened the first time you were in there? Yes, Pinky.
This tank was responsible for inspiring and fomenting my entire reason for being.
Um, is that a big wordy-word way of saying it really, really messed things up? No, Pinky.
It was meeting you that really, really messed things up.
I remember the whole thing very clearly.
I was a mouse-- a mouse like any other.
I wanted only to nibble, to scratch, to fill my pouch with pellets.
Life was simple, uncomplicated for a time.
And then? All right.
This is day one.
Acme labs, experiment Otherwise known as project B.
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I was going to say that.
Purpose of experiment-- to cerebrally enhance through cellular manipulation and biogenetic alteration.
Subject "a" was chosen due to its unusually large cranial capacity, despite its ill temper.
Ow! Subject "b" was selected for its unusual energetic behavior and its lower-Than-average performance in routine intelligence tests.
Subjects were subjected to intense radiation in the biogenetic enhancer and observed for several hours.
No significant changes noted though subject "a" did seem to be even more ill-tempered.
Owie! And subject "b" actually appears to be less intelligent, if that's possible.
[Yawns.]
Well, that's it for today.
Looks like the experiment is a bust.
Going bowling? Never miss it.
Pinky: narf! Did you say something? I said, "I never miss it.
" No, I meant-- oh, never mind.
I thought they'd never leave.
Look at these ridiculous calculations.
Biological recombinant algorithmic intelligence nexus, indeed.
Why, they have less intelligence in their collective brains than I have in my-- in myPinky! Yes? What? You called my name, Pinky.
I did? Tell me--just for curiosity's sake-- how, exactly, do you know that that's your name? Um, well, I answered, didn't I? Narf! [Laughs.]
Oh, that was fun, fun, fun! Ok.
Let me guess your name.
Is it rumpelfrownface? Don't be ridiculous.
We can't name ourselves.
We don't have the requisite cerebral capa-- wait just a moment.
Yes! I am actually speaking, verbalizing previously primitive instinctual responses! Well, there you go, then.
Poit! Project B.
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It was a success.
I am a mind-- a Brain! I am the Brain! [Buzzing and beeping.]
There.
I have absorbed all the knowledge in this computer database.
Ooh! That would make you extremely absorbent! I've learned something, Pinky.
This poor planet is ruled by a species of drooling bipeds.
I shall prove my brilliance to them, and they will, naturally, appoint me to some prestigious position in their hierarchy.
The electrodes, Pinky.
Right away, Brain.
[Grunts.]
Perhaps they will make me chairman of the-- aah! Oof! I've got it, Brain.
Your new name can be rumpelsizzlehead, Ok? [Groans.]
You'll get back to me on that, then? Progress report-- project B.
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, Day 2.
Subject "b" has finally shown some increased mental activity.
Narf! Narf! Narf! While the treatment seems to have had a reverse effect on subject "A.
" [Mumbling.]
Well, that's great.
We've got a funding review tomorrow, and all we can show after $2 million is a mouse that says "narf" and a little fat stupid mouse that drools.
You have to admit, though, that no one has ever produced a mouse that says more than "narf.
" You know, you're right, Toby.
We'll have to present this guy to the committee and hope for the best.
What will I do with little stupid here? Oh, let him keep the other one company.
I mean, what else is he good for? Where am I? What happened? Well, I said, "narf," and the scientists got all happy.
And you were happy, too, Brain.
You just drooled and smiled.
I remember now.
This is a disaster, Pinky.
I had a chance to show them my intellectual prowess, and I was a zombie.
I must figure out how to convince these scientists that I am worthy of a leadership position.
Well, just say, "narf"! Oh, they like that.
Narf.
Narf! [Laughs.]
Narf! [Laughs.]
[Growls.]
I can't concentrate with all this witless blathering.
A brief stint in this sensory deprivation tank should provide me with the quiet I need to formulate a plan to impress them.
Brain: Pinky.
[Knocks.]
I'm ready to come out.
Pinky! Hello? [Snoring.]
Narf! Narf! Narf! Narf? This is what all this equipment and $3 million produced-- A mouse that can say "narf"? We're almost certain that we can produce a polysyllabic mouse within the next Tops! What about that other one? Oh, uh, he, uh-- he seems to have gotten lost.
Narf! Well, what do you know? He was locked in the sensory deprivation tank.
Hmm! I wonder what effect that had on him.
Ow! That's it! All funding for project B.
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Is hereby cut off.
You two are being reassigned to project F.
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What's that? We don't know yet.
We just have the initials.
Toby: oh.
I thought that was how that worked.
I failed, Pinky.
The sensory deprivation tank caused me to temporarily revert to my primitive state.
I'll find some way to show them that I'm not to be included in this menagerie of failure.
One day, they will all appreciate my genius.
Wouldn't it be lovely if you ruled the world, Brain? Then you could make everyone wear very shiny pants, and-- don't be absurd, Pinky.
How could I-- wait a moment.
That's it.
Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? I think so, Brain, but then I would have to know what pondering is, wouldn't I? So you see, it wasn't such a disaster, for from that moment, I knew what I must do with my life.
What's that, Brain? Why, the very thing we've been doing every night since, Pinky-- Trying to take over the world.
Whoa! [Splashes.]
They're dinky they're Pinky and the Brain Brain, Brain, Brain Brain Brain: Pinky! [Bangs.]
Let me out of here! warner bros.
Captioned by the national
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