Resident Alien (2021) s04e01 Episode Script

1
Previously on "Resident Alien."
I adopted the alien
tracker's son, Robert.
- Son!
- It's the Greys.
They're planning on
taking over the Earth.
I have devised a plan of my own.
I am building a bomb that can
destroy the Greys' spaceship.
You hit him going 50 miles
per hour, and now he's gone.
Joseph is an alien.
They are going to take me again.
And when they do, I'm going to fight.
And I'm not going to stop
until we get our baby back.
Where is my son?
[GUNFIRE]
[HYDRAULICS THUMPING]
What what are you doing here?
We came to blow up the ship.
What kind of alien was
in that jail cell, anyway?
It's a Mantid. They're shapeshifters.
Holy shit. They took my baby.
[LAUGHING] There she is.
- [SQUEALS]
- [SCREAMS]
Bridget and I have to find that bomb.
I will find D'arcy too. I promise.
- Harry!
- You have to get to safety.
There's nothing down there for me.
My father's gone. Go.
- You're holding a baby.
- Long story.
At least we made it off the ship.
- Except it's not a ship.
- Oh, my God.
Max has something to say to you.
[SCREAMS]
This is some bullshit!
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
- [BRIDGET TRILLING]
- Asta's friend.
-
- Red? What's her name?
- Uh, Marcy!
- [BRIDGET SQUEALS]
Dar by.
Dar uh
- Darby.
- [BRIDGET SQUEALS]
Darby!
- [BRIDGET CHIRRS]
- Darby.
Harry.
- [BRIDGET SQUEAKS]
- Pizza Joe?
[BRIDGET GROWLS]
What are you doing on
a Grey alien spaceship?
I've been abducted by aliens.
You have to get me out of here.
I also have this pizza
and no one to give it to.
How do I know that you are not
that shape-shifting Mantid Alien
tricking me into thinking that
you are my regular pizza guy?
I am a man of my word.
I also have a coupon for
you for half off your next pizza.
Son of a bitch.
There's a 30% chance that he's lying,
but I think it's worth it.
[BRIDGET CHITTERS]
Be quiet, Bridget.
I said I think it's worth it.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
- Thank you for saving me.
- Uh-huh.
♪
- [BRIDGET SQUEALS]
- Where's the pizza?
♪
No!
♪
[DISTORTED GROWLING]
You are a
- You are a
- [DISTORTED LAUGH]
♪
[LAUGHS]
[NORMALLY] You're a dickhead.
[STILTED LAUGHTER]
♪
Could you hurry up with that drawing?
I need fresh wall art for my cell!
I will take my time, thanks.
And if you don't like it,
you shouldn't have
let that Mantid trick
you into that cell.
- It is not my fault!
- [BRIDGET CHITTERS]
The fake pizza that
the Mantid had was pepperoni.
It does not matter.
The Mantid thinks he can
take over my life in Patience.
Ha, ha, ha.
There's only one Harry Vanderspeigle.
No one will believe that
the Mantid is really me.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC]
[GEORGIE FAME'S "SOMEBODY
STOLE MY THUNDER"]
♪
Guess what, guess who? ♪
Somebody stole my thunder ♪
And now somebody's gonna pay ♪
Hi, Dr. Vanderspeigle.
Morning, Dr. V.
You know, those things can kill you.
Oh, I'm so scared.
[CHUCKLES]
Well now, that's how ♪
Somebody smashed my action ♪
I'm busted but revenge is sweet ♪
I'm gonna get my satisfaction ♪
[SIGHS]
I'm gonna get me sweets to eat ♪
♪
Oh, there's Dr. Vanderspeigle.
- Hey.
- Hi, Harry.
What?
You, uh, looking forward
to our therapy session later today?
♪
I'd rather eat a human head.
[COUGHS]
- Hmm.
- [LAUGHS]
[BEN CHUCKLES]
BOTH: Oh.
Jokester. [CHUCKLES]
- Oh, God!
- [PEOPLE CLAMORING]
Oh.
[UPBEAT FUNKY MUSIC]
Decide to come to work today?
Decide to wash your hair today?
Be nice.
Ms. Lofgren's inside waiting for you.
She's in for her mammogram.
Must be titty Tuesday.
- Harry.
- [STILTED LAUGH]
[QUIRKY TENSE MUSIC]
[ASTA SCOFFS]
Isn't it Thursday?
Yeah, it's Thursday.
[BROWN BIRD'S "BILGEWATER"]
[LAID-BACK ACOUSTIC STRUMMING]
♪
In prison, your world is very small.
It is made difficult
by how little you have,
and worse by what
you do not have at all.
Prison is a concept that many beings
in the universe do not bother with.
If you do not want someone
in your way, you just kill them.
There is kindness in murder.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Forgetting something?
♪
Oh, yeah.
[SIGHS]
I should not have to pay you for this.
You should want to
decorate the prison cell
of your father and your brother.
[BRIDGET CHIRRS]
You're not my father
and that little thing is not my brother.
Do not disrespect Bridget!
He is the reason you have that food.
[BRIDGET CHIRRS]
My little baby is the boss
of the prison yard economy.
My sweet baby has gotten so hard.
Did you know he has
a bitch named Maurice?
Proud you must be.
I am proud of my baby.
But it is not enough.
I miss my life.
♪
I miss my friend.
♪
[QUIRKY SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
[CLINKING] Oh, shit.
- Mm?
- You slept over.
You weren't supposed to sleep over.
D'arcy is out there.
[SIGHS]
[CLINKING]
[RAPID CLINKING]
Hey.
Good morning.
- Oh, hey there.
- [SIGHS]
Aren't you supposed to be at work?
[SIGHS] I overslept.
What time is it? God, it's late.
Uh, I, uh I was up all night.
- Ah.
- Looking at some medical files.
But I can't tell you what because
HIPAA.
You know, the Health Insurance
Portability and Accountability Act.
It's really important, you know?
Are you heading out soon?
You know the CIA has
six different markers
on how to detect a liar?
I'm actually proficient in all six,
but I don't need any of them
because you have hook-up hair.
Hey.
I like her hooker hair.
- Wow.
- Oh, God.
Ken doll jump scare. OK.
I'm going to need you
to put your clothes on.
And I thought you
were done with all this.
OK, well, I had a big glass of wine,
and he has a cute, dumb face.
[QUIRKY MUSIC FADING]
I'll just show myself out.
- [BABY BABBLING]
- Oh, oh.
Aw. [GRUNTS]
The cutest of the cutest ones is here.
Who slept through the night?
- I did.
- Cool. Keep moving.
OK, it's nice that
she's comfortable here,
but you know, it
it might not be the best thing.
Well, yeah.
She should be with Ben and Kate.
You know you can't do that.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[KNOCK AT DOOR]
Yeah, with Kate being abducted,
we just can't risk it.
She's right.
When the Greys come to get Kate again,
they'll just take that baby with them.
Can't let that baby
anywhere near that house.
I know that, OK?
And don't be talking like
you're not one of the bad guys.
I don't work for the Greys anymore.
But I do know how they operate.
The whole baby stealing
thing is their bread and butter.
Sure, there were some layoffs
after the Yellowstone disaster,
but not the baby stealing division.
Those jobs are safe.
I got a friend who
works in day abductions.
Just bought a house and a pool.
OK, you're getting closer to the door,
but it's not opening and
you're not going through it.
See you later?
- I don't think so.
- OK. Call me.
- No.
- Talk to you soon.
Please go.
[SIGHS]
[QUIRKY SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
As much as I hate to admit it,
I'm kind of glad you're getting some.
If only he wasn't half alien.
Oh, I've done worse.
Here comes suspect one,
code name Joseph.
♪
That's not a code name.
That's just his name.
Yeah, that's the code.
♪
Suspect two, code name Asta.
The double agent is still in the house.
Let me see those.
That's a negative.
Only team leader gets the binos.
Hey, I saved your life from that Mantid.
I'm the one who told him you screamed
because you stepped on a bee.
So if it wasn't for me, he would
have eaten code name Max.
Shh!
Don't use code names so loud.
You'll blow my cover.
[SIGHS]
It's just so hard.
Daisy should be at home with her family.
- Daisy?
- [DAISY COOS]
Yeah. Doesn't she look like a Daisy?
Just like a pretty little flower.
OK.
Maybe instead of naming her and bonding,
we should find somewhere she's safer.
And not five minutes away
from Ben and Kate's house.
[SCOFFS] No.
[SCOFFS]
There's nowhere she's going
to be safer than here with me.
[DAISY COOING]
And we just have to
keep this little snookums
away from the Grey aliens.
And if we can do that,
then we have nothing
else to worry about.
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪
[RASPY BREATHING]
Memory is cruel. Humans are annoying,
but when you believe you
will never see them again,
you begin to remember
only the good things.
Now I am beginning to
miss people I do not even like.
It is not right. Ugh.
Mayor Snowflake should
look adorably less intelligent.
And the horse-maned one should be sadder
because the Greys stole her baby.
She's probably so depressed
she can not even get out of bed.
[TENSE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
♪
Hey, hon, uh, some good news.
Uh, do you remember Mrs. Brown, the
The woman who who sued the town
when she got bit by the
the snapping turtle?
You mean the woman
who got what she deserved
for going barefoot in Salt Marsh Pond?
[SNARLS]
Oh, I like the attitude.
It's very sexy.
Yeah, so I went through
the clerk's call logs
and I saw that she reported
some mysterious being in her
yard a couple of months ago.
- Mm.
- So I'm talking to her today.
Huh. Cool.
Maybe a raccoon took our baby.
Hon, I I know that you're frustrated,
but if we want to get our baby back,
we have to follow all leads.
Does that dummy look like me?
What?
I mean, did it did it always?
Did you did you do something to it?
No. Came like that.
OK? It's not you.
And I'm going to get
her back, all right?
I've been training.
I'm ready for anything.
If and when they take me again,
they are getting Killer Kate.
[GRUNTS]
Ouch.
Almost felt that one.
But hey, yeah, don't don't worry.
The aliens will abduct you soon.
You just you have to stay positive.
[SIGHS]
- Thanks, sweetie.
- Mm.
[BOTH SMOOCH]
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[BELL RINGS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
♪
Hi.
Oh, hey, Deputy.
You want the rest of my bagel?
I already got six sesame
seeds stuck in my teeth
and I'm low on floss.
I know you're on extended leave,
but I can't get a new
uniform unless you sign for it.
This one doesn't fit me anymore.
Looks fine to me.
So you notice nothing
different about me?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
You come in here and bother me a lot.
You didn't used to do that.
Because you used to come to work.
Might I remind you
that I'm on medical leave
since I started hallucinating?
You didn't hallucinate.
You really saw an alien.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
I thought I saw an alien.
[SHOUTS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
And I thought I put it in a bag.
♪
You saw the bag. It was empty.
I imagined the whole thing.
It was, uh, the poisoning
from that radiation leak.
You saw those government trucks.
They came in and closed
down the whole area.
They said anybody exposed
could have hallucinations.
There was no radiation leak.
They just say that. It was a cover-up.
I was hallucinating.
How am I gonna do my job
if I don't know what's real?
Hmm? Damn.
Are you real?
Ow.
You pass.
- This time.
- [BELL RINGS]
Amazing.
Hi, Ben.
What do you think about my uniform?
Hmm?
Looks great.
[SCOFFS]
♪
[BELL RINGS]
- Close call.
- Yeah, I know.
You almost said she looks great.
Right? You know, I feel bad
not saying anything, but what can I do?
If you say she looks great,
which she always does,
it means she didn't look great before.
- Can't touch it.
- No.
Life's a giant booby trap
in the middle of a minefield.
[BEN SIGHS]
- [SHERIFF MIKE CLEARS THROAT]
- So
How've you been?
I know you've been
going through some stuff,
doing some therapy
with Dr. Vanderspeigle.
Yeah, I'm OK. Thanks for asking.
That's what friends are for.
Mm.
Also, I noticed that you
saw him three times last week
and the town health plan only
covers two therapy sessions,
so that one
Is going to be out of pocket.
You are the Grinch.
But the Grinch only comes
at Christmas, so can't be.
The hell does the Grinch
do the rest of the year?
Maybe sometimes, the good in humans
is hard to notice when
you are next to them,
like staring at a distant star.
You cannot see it when
you look directly at it.
Sheriff Mike was a good adversary, fair,
and always smelled like a campfire.
Hey, you are not the normal food guy.
Budget cuts. He was laid off.
I can't believe I'm meeting
someone who lives on Earth.
Big fan.
- I'm from Earth.
- Shut your moon-hole, moonie!
We took him before he
was born. He doesn't count.
- Time to eat, Bridget.
- [BRIDGET CHIRRING]
My name is Bruce.
I picked it myself
after Earth's number one
movie star, Bruce Dern.
You are so lucky.
I would do literally
anything to go to Earth.
Hmm.
Can I call you Harry?
No, that's too much. [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
We'll work up to that.
I'm going to go now before
I say something stupid.
This is incredible.
That alien wants to go to Earth.
I don't blame him.
I would like to go there, too.
And he said he will do
anything to get there.
So would I.
Harry, that Grey alien just said
he'll do anything to go to Earth.
[QUIRKY SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
And he has the keys to our cell.
♪
Yeah, I'm not I'm not following you.
[BRIDGET BABBLING]
Hold on. I've got an idea.
[BRIDGET BABBLING]
What if we get that Grey
to help us get out of here?
[BRIDGET BABBLES]
- You're a genius.
- Try and keep up.
He drew this one just as I described,
but there is something
in the deputy's eyes
I do not remember seeing before.
Is it strength?
Hmm.
Maybe when beings
know each other for a while,
they can't help but
see more good in them.
Or maybe this lip
balm is just fermenting.
[SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪
Liv.
My God. [CHUCKLES] You came back.
I thought you forgot about me.
You know I would never do that.
Just took me a while to get
the exact ingredients to make
Your favorite fried chicken.
I had to go to six different stores.
This smells delicious.
[SIGHS]
Wow.
Mmm, mmm.
Mmm.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
Oh, I wish I had a stomach.
That never gets easier to watch.
I still haven't found anything online
about how to put together a robot man,
but I did find instructions
for a Chinese robot dog.
And maybe we can make
the legs hinge the other way.
Oh, thanks again, Liv.
- Mm.
- For everything.
You've been a good friend.
I remember that first day when my
When my legs failed.
I thought I was done for.
I should be thanking you.
Hiking up and down the mountain
a couple of times a day
has been great exercise.
I just wish that I could find out more
about what happened to you.
And where the bullets
came from that hit your legs.
I'm sorry. I can't.
Anything I tell you
could put you in danger.
And I don't want to do that,
especially to you.
I just want to get better
so I can go and find my son.
Yeah.
♪
Ah, that hit the spot.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, thank you for
coming in, Mrs. Brown.
I just wanted to follow
up on some old call logs.
So last October,
says here that you
reported a loud being.
In your backyard.
How how would you
describe this being?
Large, small?
Was it was it humanoid?
I never said loud being.
I said someone was
being loud in my backyard.
What are you covering up, Mrs. Brown?
[LAUGHING] Nothing.
You're only making
this harder on yourself.
It turns out it was my cousin
going through my empties.
She's a drunk.
You know, I'm I'm
I'm throwing you a safety line here,
and you're just throwing it right back.
And I got news for you.
You can't swim in those
stupid hippie shoes.
[QUIRKY SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
I think
Maybe you'll feel more comfortable
♪
If we have a little privacy.
Actually, I feel less comfortable.
[BEN SIGHS]
It's just us now, Mrs. Brown.
♪
You're safe with me.
Why is your fly open?
♪
No. Uh accident.
- [FOOTSTEPS MOVING AWAY]
- Broken zipper.
Uh, you can go.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[ZIPPER CLINKS ON FLOOR]
I always knew I would like the Earth.
It's difficult these days
to find a planet we
have not infiltrated.
This is, as the Earthlings say,
a blank slate.
I can find a mate and have offspring
without any fear of another
Mantid getting in the way.
[CHUCKLES SINISTERLY] Mm.
Looking good.
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
I know. [CHUCKLES]
Whoa oh.
Plus, human jaws aren't strong enough
for my mate to bite my head off.
[LAUGHS]
Yes, sir.
I like it here a lot.
[TENSE MUSIC FADING]
Oh, hey. How are you feeling today?
Pretty sexy, actually.
Uh, cool.
Look, I know you're
still upset about Bridget.
Um, it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone.
There's a therapist in Braddock
who's supposed to be good.
I put her name on your desk.
Mm, perhaps she has the bone structure
to contain a giant egg sac
holding 300 Mantid nymphs.
I will give her a call.
Good.
[SIGHS] I think it's
healthy to talk to someone.
You know, to be honest, I don't know,
I'm not 100% sure how
I've been feeling these days.
Ever since I was in space,
I feel like I'm
[QUIRKY SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Not really here.
[SIGHS]
I want to work.
I should be working.
I don't want to be sitting
here in therapy every week.
I mean, I'm the last bastion
of civility and grace in this town,
not to mention power and good looks.
But I can't be sheriff
if I can't trust my brain.
And I thought I saw
an alien with my own eyes.
Yes, but obviously, aliens do not exist.
[TENSE NOTES]
Exactly.
See, a man just can't go
around believing in just anything.
There's got to be boundaries.
The world is black and white, right?
It's like it's like night and day.
Salt and pepper.
You and me.
And I am the white one.
Very much so.
Black and white, doc. There is no gray.
[LAUGHS]
[STILTED LAUGH]
I'm sorry. I thought you told a joke.
That radiation poisoning,
that's what it's got to be.
[TENSE MUSIC]
Mmm, his head looks so delicious.
It would be easy just to lean over
and nibble it off that juicy neck.
But I would draw too much attention
and I'd have to switch to another body.
And I like living in Harry's cabin.
He has a great barbecue
and a kickass view of the lake.
Maybe next time I go
to Jessup for a head,
I'll take it home and grill it up.
You see what I'm saying?
Of course.
But the most, uh,
important thing to remember
is that aliens are not real.
[QUIRKY SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Have you ever grilled with fennel?
Hmm?
[SIGHS]
Here we go.
Where did you go?
I was applying for Santa's job.
He's not going to live
on that diet forever.
We talked about this.
You're not supposed
to take the baby out.
What if you see someone you know?
Oh, what, this baby?
It's my cousin's kid.
She had to go to Michigan
for a work opportunity.
It's really sad.
Her husband, Brad, died
just after the baby was born.
Hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis.
- Mm.
- Yeah, I know, it's a mouthful.
It's just really sad.
Trying to do everything
I can to help out.
Oh.
So who is that?
Oh, that's her.
Hey.
Sher-Sher.
Yeah, she's fine.
- One sec.
- [ASTA SIGHS]
She has to hear Colette cooing
on the hour or else freaks out.
Well, if you memorized
lymphohistiocytosis,
then how could anything go wrong?
Look, I know none of this is perfect.
The truth is we don't know
what's going on at
Ben and Kate's house.
What we need
- Oh.
- Is
Information.
Wait. Is that Ben's living room?
Yeah. The outdoor cameras I set up
weren't catching any alien activity,
so I invited myself for dinner
and set up indoor cameras.
Indoor cameras?
Cool, so we went from
pretty illegal to really illegal.
I mean [SCOFFS] Yeah.
He is the mayor
So he's part of the
government, which means
They've been spying on us for years.
All right.
The Greys show up looking
for her, we'll see them.
Plus, it has 24-hour
continuous recording,
so we don't have to sit
here and watch all day.
Which I do not recommend.
Because after work,
Ben likes to come home
and take the lint out of his toes.
Oh, yes.
59 cried to save one?
Isn't it cute?
But we're not too attached to the baby?
No.
- [BABY-TALKING] No, we are not.
- Mm-hmm.
[NORMALLY] And you mean Daisy.
Is it possible that
there are some humans
I actually cared about
even when I was on Earth?
Human connection is powerful.
Maybe some humans are so afraid of it,
they pretend it isn't happening.
Her hair should be red,
but not a red you find
in nature, only in toys.
Shh. Bruce is coming.
Just talk about how amazing Earth is.
Hello, Harry.
Moonie.
Harry, I brought you
very special cookies.
We abducted an entire
Girl Scout troop last
night just for these.
Thank you.
[BRIDGET CHATTERS]
Harry's been so busy
talking about Earth,
he doesn't have time to eat cookies.
Oh, no, I have time.
Earth? I want to hear everything.
Go ahead, Harry.
Tell Bruce how amazing Earth is.
[QUIRKY SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
I do not like these.
Bridget, would you
like to have a cookie?
[BRIDGET COOS]
[BRIDGET SPITS AND SNARLS]
I would do anything to visit Earth.
It has been my dream my whole life.
Bruce, I have an idea.
If you let us out of here,
maybe Harry would would
Would bring you to Earth with us.
Really? Oh, I couldn't impose.
The last thing I want to
do is step on Harry's toes.
Harry, he is leaving.
Oh!
Well [GROANS]
Bruce, um, if you let us out of here,
we will take you to Earth with us.
Don't lie to a Grey. We can tell.
OK, I can't tell.
Are you lying?
I'm serious.
Hot diggity!
Is that right?
Remember, if any of my expressions
are outdated, please tell me.
That one is 100% fresh.
Can we get to the escape ships
without anyone seeing us?
Don't worry. The guards are on strike.
[CHUCKLING] Oh! Power to the people.
Stick it to the man.
The the Grey man.
The Grey people.
- [BRIDGET GROWLS SOFTLY]
- Yeah, we should go.
[BRUCE LAUGHS]
[QUIRKY SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Happy spring, ladies.
Better iron those summer skirts.
Warm weather is right around the corner.
And I'm not saying that
only women have to iron.
You know, men can iron too.
Everyone is the same.
Anyone can do anything.
[SIGHS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
♪
[PHONE LINE TRILLING]
Hon, Hon, are you, uh, are you
still getting your hair done?
Will you sit tight?
I have eyes on Joseph.
Yes, the the alien Joseph.
♪
[SIGHS] Damn it.
♪
I think it's him.
♪
Yes, it's him.
Uh, suspect wearing a black jacket
with a red umbrella holding flowers.
He is currently directly on my six,
and the situation is still unfolding,
but it is very dangerous.
So for right now, just stay
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[CAR HORN HONKS]
In the salon.
- [SCREAMING] Where's my baby?
- [PEOPLE GASPING]
Get off of me!
Oh, my God, I I thought
you were someone else.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
- Oh, wait, wait.
- [SHOUTS]
She might be a shapeshifter.
I read about them.
That's why she has the
umbrella and the the flowers.
A nice, handsome man gave them to me.
Oh.
It's not illegal to be kind now, is it?
I'm so sorry.
[SOMBER SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
You'll be hearing from my attorney.
Really sorry, again.
It's OK.
She was probably going to sue me anyway.
♪
We're almost at the cabin.
Time to get ready.
[BIRDS SINGING]
I'm ready.
Wait, what is that?
I made it myself.
Made entirely of natural ingredients.
It delivers one gallon of
Mantid spray in one minute.
Manticide. Patent pending.
But I'm the Alien Tracker.
I'm the one that's supposed
to have the weapons.
Well, you don't.
Harry took your taser, remember?
Do you have one of those for me?
No. I assumed we were both developing
advanced anti-alien biological weaponry
that is both highly effective
and has zero impact on
humans and the water table.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
I'm gonna sharpen this stick.
♪
- [GRUFF VOICE] Don't scream.
- Jesus!
You scared me.
[GRUFF VOICE] I am here to
give you important information.
By hiding in my car with
a Richard Nixon mask on?
I almost shot you.
And also almost peed myself.
One of those still might happen.
[GRUFF VOICE] Joseph
the alien is back in town.
What? Did you see him?
[GRUFF VOICE] Face forward.
You don't ask the questions.
I ask the questions.
[SIGHS] Fine.
Go ahead.
[GRUFF VOICE] Go ahead what?
Ask a question.
[GRUFF VOICE] I don't have a question.
I'm just telling you
that Joseph is here.
I saw him myself.
It is your job as town
constable to arrest him.
Do you think constable
is the word they used
for police during the 1970s?
[GRUFF VOICE] I said
you don't ask the questions.
You can use any resource
you need to pursue this person.
Well, the mayor has to sign off on that.
[GRUFF VOICE] The mayor
can't be involved in this.
You're simply using
your discretionary budget
to investigate a tip from
an anonymous citizen.
This meeting
Is over.
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
[DOOR HANDLE CLICKS]
[GRUFF VOICE] Please
turn off the child lock.
[LOCKS CLICK]
♪
What a ding-dong.
Yeah, her husband, Brad,
passed away right
before the baby was born.
Hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis.
I know, it's a mouthful.
You should really
not let the baby's feet
point out like that.
If they grow that way,
she might turn out to
be like a ballet dancer.
What's wrong with ballet?
It's just, like, so, like.
You know?
Yeah.
We've got a problem.
Joseph is back in town.
Joseph Joseph?
Yeah.
Yeah, look, I know you're
going through some things,
but you have to come back to work.
I I need your help to track him down.
Joseph ain't my problem anymore.
Hell, as far as I know,
he don't even exist.
I hallucinated him too.
And why are you
wearing civilian clothes?
That's all you have to say to me?
The town needs you.
I need you.
Joseph almost killed us,
and you didn't hallucinate anything.
You saw an alien.
You know Joseph is an alien.
Accept it and get over it
and come back so we
can figure things out.
And you want to know why
I am wearing civilian clothes at work?
Because I refuse to wear a
uniform that's too big for me
just 'cause my boss is too blind to see
what's right in front of him.
- [POOL BALLS CLACKING]
- Oh, come on.
- [COINS JINGLE]
- Hey.
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Hello, Mr. President.
♪
I'm not even going to ask.
Oh, shit.
Jude, I need your help with something.
10-4. I'm on it. What do you need?
Blood?
They won't take mine in the clinic,
so I have plenty extra.
No, come on.
♪
- [BABY BABBLING]
- What?
I need you to take her out back.
Don't let anybody see you.
Yes. Affirmative. I'm on it, stat.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
Go, go, go. Go.
- [STROLLER CLATTERING]
- Oh, oh, oh. OK.
Do you want me to breastfeed her?
Probably not, right?
- No.
- OK.
Wait. Could you?
How do you think Kevin
gets such smooth skin?
Uh oh, dude. Just
OK. I got it, I got it.
♪
Well, hello, my two favorite people.
BOTH: Hey.
Hey. Need a drink? I sure as hell do.
Mm.
[SIGHS] Heck yeah. What can I get ya?
[INSECTS DRONING]
Ooh.
[CHUCKLES]
I don't mean to bug you.
Or bugger you.
Baby got thorax.
Oh, you are no lady.
- Harry?
- Huh?
Hi.
Asta, my friend.
How are you?
I was worried maybe
I shouldn't just show up.
Uh, I brought pizza.
I feel like it's been so long
since we've had a
chance to really hang out.
I was going to avoid
mating with a local human,
but she is clearly attracted to me.
This would speed up my hunt for a mate.
I'm not hungry right now.
Even though your head looks delicious.
Oh. Not even for pizza?
OK, then.
Let's just sit and catch up.
[SIGHS]
Hmm. This is nice.
[SOFT FUNKY MUSIC]
I was trying to give you space
because I know you're still
dealing with losing Bridget.
Can only imagine how hard that is.
[SOFT FUNKY MUSIC]
You know, I think I need
to talk to someone.
I'm feeling a little lost.
Oh.
Just we were on that ship
In space.
And and the moon was not
the moon, but it is the moon.
And so every time I
look at the moon now,
I can't look at the moon the same way.
I left a little part of myself up there.
Something just
[SIGHS]
Does that
[UPBEAT BUBBLEGUM POP PLAYING]
Oh.
But I'd like to get to know you ♪
Yes, I would ♪
But I'd like to get to know you ♪
If I could ♪
[GROWLS SOFTLY]
But I'd like to get to know you ♪
Finally I've found
searching all around ♪
Just was not the answer ♪
One I thought was
true looked a bit like you ♪
Oh. No, thank you.
- Mm-mm.
- OK.
[COUGHS] Oh, God.
Should you be smoking so much?
Uh, I I know you're
upset about Bridget,
but you are supposed to
be a doctor, remember?
People have already complained about you
touching the white
parts of their band-aids.
You are showing affection for me.
Well, yeah.
You know, you're one
of my closest friends.
You know I love you.
♪
Mm, ah
[SNIFFING AND MUTTERING] Mm.
What are you doing?
Oh, God, do I smell? [SNIFFS]
You are ovulating.
Let's mate.
Uh, uh
Oh, no, oh, God.
OK, wow.
Time flies. I I gotta go.
Gotta go to work.
This has been a lot of fun. Bye.
♪
[SIGHS]
Oh!
What are you doing here?
Also, what the hell is
going on with Harry?
Oh, hello, Asta.
Or should I say the alien sympathizer?
What are you talking about?
We know you're working for the Mantid.
The who?
She said the Mantid.
[TENSE MUSIC]
Too bad, Asta.
Now I'm going to have to kill you too.
OK, maybe she's not
working for the Mantid?
[TENSE MUSIC]
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪
If you try grabbing that
and if you try to escape,
I will have to kill
you before I eat you.
And I'd rather eat you alive.
Humans go bad so quickly.
Don't you dare touch them.
And what the hell have
you done with Harry?
Don't worry about Harry.
Harry is very far away.
[KETCHUP GLUGS SOFTLY]
And after I eat you three,
no one else will ever have
any idea that I'm not really him.
This is some bullshit.
Go ahead, eat us.
Mantids only eat heads.
They'll find our bodies
and know you did it.
Correction.
Mantids can eat bodies.
We just prefer the heads.
It's the best part.
It's like eating off
the top of a cupcake.
I like the bottom of
the cupcake more than the top.
Is that weird?
[TENSE MUSIC]
Harry?
[TENSE MUSIC]
Dun-dun!
You escaped?
I'm impressed.
Because I am smarter than you and
I'm stronger than you,
and son of a bitch!
- [BRIDGET SQUEALS]
- Is that pepperoni?
[QUIRKY TENSE MUSIC]
Why did you call that guy Harry?
Because he's Harry.
♪
- [GASPS]
- [MANDIBLES CHATTERING]
[DRAWN-OUT CHUCKLE]
No, he's not. He's just a guy.
♪
[SMOOCHES]
I'm tempted to kill you
in my human form.
But alien to alien,
this will be much more fun.
[STRAINING]
[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
I'm gonna need a minute.
- Bridget!
- [FEET PATTERING]
[BRIDGET CHITTERS]
[HARRY CHUCKLES]
Kill that sumbitch.
[BRIDGET SHOUTS]
[BRIDGET SNARLING]
Ah!
[BRIDGET GROANS]
Disappointed. [CHUCKLES]
Why don't you take a rest?
- [FEET PATTERING AWAY]
- I got this.
Hyah!
[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
♪
[GASPS]
Harry, did you lose your alien powers?
No!
I'm a little bit jet-lagged.
[STRAINS]
♪
[GRUNTS]
♪
[GRUNTS]
I guess I'll be eating
all four of you then.
I'm going to need some more ketchup.
[ELECTRICITY ZAPPING]
Try to catch up to this, bug.
Run!
♪
Asta, you are driving!
♪
Go, go, go! Go!
Go faster!
Stop telling me how to drive!
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
Humans already live in a prison,
a prison they create for themselves.
[PEACEFUL FOLK MUSIC]
A prison of beliefs that hold them back
from being the best
version of who they are.
[HELEN ROSE'S "GET ME OUT OF THIS CITY"]
Hi, sir.
♪
Nice to have you back.
Get me out of this city ♪
Set me free of this town ♪
-
- For my soul is weary ♪
Can't see past the clouds ♪
Show me the horizon ♪
There are a million things in this world
that keep humans from moving forward.
With rivers and valleys ♪
[MUSIC ECHOING]
Where the eagles fly by ♪
Get me out of this city ♪
I'm gonna bust outta town ♪
For my soul is weary ♪
Can't see past the clouds ♪
♪
I don't have her.
I don't know.
For my heart is yearning ♪
No.
And I am yearning ♪
I don't know.
For a sign from above ♪
Take a ride up the canyon ♪
We'll take good care of her.
Where the coyotes roam ♪
Thank you.
Sometimes it just takes
a little faith in others to help you.
Sorrows sink like stone ♪
And faith in yourself
for having the strength
to make your life
what you want it to be.
[BRUCE GASPS SOFTLY]
I'm gonna bust out of town ♪
For my soul is weary ♪
But sometimes, those
prison walls are so high,
it is impossible to escape.
Get me out of this city ♪
Especially when the prison you are in
is the hunk of skin and
blood keeping you alive.
For my soul is weary ♪
I can't see past the clouds ♪