Robot Chicken s03e13 Episode Script
Slaughterhouse on the Prairie
It's alive! We were playing with Pandapple's ball, but we lost it.
Here comes Hello Kitty.
She'll know what to do.
Hello, Badtz-maru and Keroppi.
Hello Kitty, you have to help us.
We lost Pandapple's ball.
What do we do? This is a big problem.
Hurt feelings are the worst kind eehhhhh! Eehhhhh! Ah! Oh! Hurt feelings are the worst kind This is decaf! Why did we stop? L- I arranged it.
Will you marry me? Oh! Wow.
No.
Oh.
Uh oh.
Yo, Mick, I can't see nothing.
You got to open my eye.
Cut me, Mick.
Cut me.
Oh, I only got one eye, Mick.
Listen to me, kid.
Don't worry about that.
All right.
Here we go.
Good job, kid! That's right! You got him! Rocky, what were you thinking about when you Adrian! Rocky! Adrian! Aah! We now return to "Two and a Half Men.
" This isn't funny! I love you, Thelma.
I love you, Louise.
Oh, my god, Louise! My shinbone's wedged up in my pelvis! Oh! I can't move.
Oh, no! Know what would feel super comfortable right now? What, darling? Prison.
Oh, god! Prison sounds so good.
Three square meals, an hour of sunshine every day.
And being able to walk.
In retrospect, our murder trial could have taken years.
We could have been out on bail, even.
Maybe even gotten off on a technicality.
Yeah! Don't give up hope.
We ain't dead yet.
Maybe they can fix us up and give us robot parts or something.
Yeah! Them cops should be airlifting us out of here any minute now.
Oh, hell.
That was the most heroic and noble thing I've ever seen.
What's that noise? Just the wind The wind of freedom.
This is Martha! Honored scientists, distinguished colleagues, members of the press, by the power vested in me, I hereby announce that Pluto is no longer a planet.
What?! You can't just change that.
Well, I just did it, sucka! Also, "A" is no longer a vowel, North no longer a direction.
And oh, your sister? No longer a virgin.
Hi-oh! Who actually gave him that power? Leonard, how could you?! Adultery is a sin.
Not anymore it's not, sweetie! Plus, Nebraska's no longer a state, Fuji's no longer a mountain, and pie pie! No longer has carbs.
Gotta fly! Stop or we'll shoot! No, you won't, because babies no longer grow up to be cowboys, black guys are no longer longer, and bullets are no longer deadly.
Give it to me So I'm guessing he only had the power in theory.
Yeah, I'm guessing you're right.
You gots to eat lightning and crap thunder.
So gets out to the store and picks up some lightnin' pops cereal.
And ask your parents to get one of them new thunder-proof crappin' bowls for the toilet room, because Mickey loves ya.
Oh, yeah.
Cook, baby! Cook! Once we get done selling all this crystal meth, we're gonna be on easy street, and we're gonna be fucking laughing! Laughing is fun.
You're the smartest guy I Oh, man.
I am Crystar! Whoa! That icicle is talking to us! My home world, Crystalean, is under attack by the evil Moltar! I've traveled through time and space to find other crystal warriors who can aid me in my quest for peace! Are you Crystal warriors? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Whoa! Welcome to Crystalean.
Now, we haven't much time.
We must stop Moltar before After we smoke this dude, we should smoke his whole world! If this guy was their greatest hero, I would love to meet their greatest "heroine.
" This is scrumptious! Ugh! Aren't you heading into the office? Do I look like I'm heading into the office? Well, what if you get a repair call? Oh, you're hilarious! Let's hear it for Jokey McShut the fuck up! Oh, go fuck yourself! If you're unhappy, then just quit.
Great idea, retard! And who's gonna pay the mortgage in this dump of a shit shack you call a home? You know those fucking washers never break down, and you are the one who said you would use that time for your writing.
And I haven't seen page one, Ernest Heming-shit-head.
Oh! Oh, god, honey, I- I'm so sorry.
Don't touch me! I don't know you anymore.
I'm taking the kids and I'm going to my mother's! Don't call us! Wait! Wait! Why don't they ever need service? They never break down! But I do! This is all your fault! Give us a kiss, baby.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Damn these Laff-a-lympics.
Even though we cheat, we always lose.
But not this time.
Hey! Whoo! I can stop you, for I am smarter than the average bear! What's going on, Yogi? Boo Boo, you fucking bear of average intelligence.
Well, g oh! They're gone! They're all gone, even.
We have a list of names.
All had a hand in planning Munich.
Well, then, what are we waiting for? Let's get it on! I think we'll go with a different, more subtle talking dog with this one.
Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em! I'll get 'em with puppy powe-r-r-r-r-r! He was on the list.
Like, good morning, dude! Hey, Scoob! Like, what the fuck are you doing, man? Sorry, Raggy.
My rafety rasn't ron.
Do you know why we're here? Why you're here? I don't know why I'm here.
There weren't any better Hanna-Barbera villains to round out the really rottens but me? Who the hell am I? Aah! Oh, what a waste that would be.
Ow! Oops! Wrong club! Oh, order.
Roh! Re's r-r-r-read! Rennie's a rog! Hello.
Who is this? You have a collect call from Captain Cavema-a-a-n! Should we accept the charges? Did we rever really arromprish ranything? Mmm! Yum yum! Yum yum yum! Ah-rooby-dooby-doo! # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk # Ba-gawk! Bawk.
Here comes Hello Kitty.
She'll know what to do.
Hello, Badtz-maru and Keroppi.
Hello Kitty, you have to help us.
We lost Pandapple's ball.
What do we do? This is a big problem.
Hurt feelings are the worst kind eehhhhh! Eehhhhh! Ah! Oh! Hurt feelings are the worst kind This is decaf! Why did we stop? L- I arranged it.
Will you marry me? Oh! Wow.
No.
Oh.
Uh oh.
Yo, Mick, I can't see nothing.
You got to open my eye.
Cut me, Mick.
Cut me.
Oh, I only got one eye, Mick.
Listen to me, kid.
Don't worry about that.
All right.
Here we go.
Good job, kid! That's right! You got him! Rocky, what were you thinking about when you Adrian! Rocky! Adrian! Aah! We now return to "Two and a Half Men.
" This isn't funny! I love you, Thelma.
I love you, Louise.
Oh, my god, Louise! My shinbone's wedged up in my pelvis! Oh! I can't move.
Oh, no! Know what would feel super comfortable right now? What, darling? Prison.
Oh, god! Prison sounds so good.
Three square meals, an hour of sunshine every day.
And being able to walk.
In retrospect, our murder trial could have taken years.
We could have been out on bail, even.
Maybe even gotten off on a technicality.
Yeah! Don't give up hope.
We ain't dead yet.
Maybe they can fix us up and give us robot parts or something.
Yeah! Them cops should be airlifting us out of here any minute now.
Oh, hell.
That was the most heroic and noble thing I've ever seen.
What's that noise? Just the wind The wind of freedom.
This is Martha! Honored scientists, distinguished colleagues, members of the press, by the power vested in me, I hereby announce that Pluto is no longer a planet.
What?! You can't just change that.
Well, I just did it, sucka! Also, "A" is no longer a vowel, North no longer a direction.
And oh, your sister? No longer a virgin.
Hi-oh! Who actually gave him that power? Leonard, how could you?! Adultery is a sin.
Not anymore it's not, sweetie! Plus, Nebraska's no longer a state, Fuji's no longer a mountain, and pie pie! No longer has carbs.
Gotta fly! Stop or we'll shoot! No, you won't, because babies no longer grow up to be cowboys, black guys are no longer longer, and bullets are no longer deadly.
Give it to me So I'm guessing he only had the power in theory.
Yeah, I'm guessing you're right.
You gots to eat lightning and crap thunder.
So gets out to the store and picks up some lightnin' pops cereal.
And ask your parents to get one of them new thunder-proof crappin' bowls for the toilet room, because Mickey loves ya.
Oh, yeah.
Cook, baby! Cook! Once we get done selling all this crystal meth, we're gonna be on easy street, and we're gonna be fucking laughing! Laughing is fun.
You're the smartest guy I Oh, man.
I am Crystar! Whoa! That icicle is talking to us! My home world, Crystalean, is under attack by the evil Moltar! I've traveled through time and space to find other crystal warriors who can aid me in my quest for peace! Are you Crystal warriors? Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Whoa! Welcome to Crystalean.
Now, we haven't much time.
We must stop Moltar before After we smoke this dude, we should smoke his whole world! If this guy was their greatest hero, I would love to meet their greatest "heroine.
" This is scrumptious! Ugh! Aren't you heading into the office? Do I look like I'm heading into the office? Well, what if you get a repair call? Oh, you're hilarious! Let's hear it for Jokey McShut the fuck up! Oh, go fuck yourself! If you're unhappy, then just quit.
Great idea, retard! And who's gonna pay the mortgage in this dump of a shit shack you call a home? You know those fucking washers never break down, and you are the one who said you would use that time for your writing.
And I haven't seen page one, Ernest Heming-shit-head.
Oh! Oh, god, honey, I- I'm so sorry.
Don't touch me! I don't know you anymore.
I'm taking the kids and I'm going to my mother's! Don't call us! Wait! Wait! Why don't they ever need service? They never break down! But I do! This is all your fault! Give us a kiss, baby.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Damn these Laff-a-lympics.
Even though we cheat, we always lose.
But not this time.
Hey! Whoo! I can stop you, for I am smarter than the average bear! What's going on, Yogi? Boo Boo, you fucking bear of average intelligence.
Well, g oh! They're gone! They're all gone, even.
We have a list of names.
All had a hand in planning Munich.
Well, then, what are we waiting for? Let's get it on! I think we'll go with a different, more subtle talking dog with this one.
Let me at 'em! Let me at 'em! I'll get 'em with puppy powe-r-r-r-r-r! He was on the list.
Like, good morning, dude! Hey, Scoob! Like, what the fuck are you doing, man? Sorry, Raggy.
My rafety rasn't ron.
Do you know why we're here? Why you're here? I don't know why I'm here.
There weren't any better Hanna-Barbera villains to round out the really rottens but me? Who the hell am I? Aah! Oh, what a waste that would be.
Ow! Oops! Wrong club! Oh, order.
Roh! Re's r-r-r-read! Rennie's a rog! Hello.
Who is this? You have a collect call from Captain Cavema-a-a-n! Should we accept the charges? Did we rever really arromprish ranything? Mmm! Yum yum! Yum yum yum! Ah-rooby-dooby-doo! # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk # # Ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk # Ba-gawk! Bawk.