Scarborough (2019) s01e02 Episode Script

1 She caught me getting off with someone else.
Who? Hayley Cox.
And they were kissing.
Most men in Scarborough are shagging someone behind their partner's backs.
You wish.
You know she's back with Tony Peroni? What? Your name is Mike, yes? She just said no, are you stupid? What did you just say? Sorry, it was a rhetorical question.
Mrs Bookham, she never came back from the toilet.
I did something wrong.
Something I should've told the police about.
Hiya.
You all right? I thought I'd walk you to work.
Oh, right, er well, I've got to go to the shop and me mam's first.
Oh, I'll walk you to the shop.
How is she after last night? Your mam.
Yeah, she's fine.
I'll pop in and see how she is this week.
Yeah, she'd like that.
Karen, are we OK? Yeah, of course we are.
Sorry I didn't text back properly last night.
By the time I'd settled me mam, it were late.
Yeah, it's OK.
I am sorry, you know.
You don't have to keep going over it.
I mean, you've said she practically attacked you.
Um, exactly.
I was so drunk I don't remember what happened.
I'm sure at one point I thought it was you.
I beg your pardon? You thought Hayley Cox was me? No.
At exactly what point when she were kissing you did you think Hayley Cox was me? I didn't.
Like, for a minute.
A minute? Not a minute, not even a minute, seconds, not not even that.
You do know this is not helping anything, don't you? Does this feel weird for you? Does what feel weird? Well, us, second time round.
Of course not.
Why, does it feel weird to you? Well, if I'm honest, it feels like our last chance.
But now we can do all those things that we should've done ten years ago, settle down and start a family.
What? I missed you last week.
Yeah, I missed you too.
Right, I'd better get to the shop for me mam.
All right, come on.
Are you working today? Yeah, later.
I've got to track Bigsy down first.
Never come home last night and he texted me this morning, said he slept up at the castle.
At the castle? Well, where is there to sleep at the castle? No idea.
It's like having a kid.
Too many broken hearts have fallen in the river Too many lonely souls have drifted out to sea You lay your bets and then you pay the price The things we do for love The things we do for love DOOR CLOSES Oh, is that you, Karen? Of course it's me - who did you think it were? Well, the whole street's on lockdown.
Well, you're not.
That back door were open again.
I'm waiting for the police.
Why? What's happened? Oh, it's terrible.
What's terrible? I've been up since six.
Mother, what's happened? And I didn't get to bed till two.
Mother! It's Mr Ferris! What's happened? I knew something wasn't right.
I've never heard a noise like it from next door, banging and crashing, and I was trying to watch the television as well.
Well, what time were this? Oh, just before Couples Who Kill.
Do we know what happened? Yes, er, this man and his fiancee from Sacramento, they'd murdered this woman with no legs and they were trying to claim on her insurance.
I mean next door.
Oh! Oh, you mean with Mr Ferris? Yes.
He was burgled.
Oh, no.
Oh, it's terrible.
I bet his angina's flared up again.
He couldn't breathe during the royal wedding so God knows how he's going to cope with this.
Well, he must be nearly 80.
He was 80 last year.
And did they take anything? Everything - they've not left him a stick of furniture.
What? Everything? They can't have taken everything.
Was Mr Ferris in? He was asleep upstairs.
I mean, he knocks back them temazepam like they're sugared nuts.
He's sometimes out for days.
Right, I'll phone Gerry, I'll let her know I'll be late, later than I am already.
Oh! They're here! They're here! There's a police car outside next door! How long do you think they'll be before they come here? I mean, they will come here, won't they? Well, they'll have to because I'm a witness.
They'll need to talk to me.
Do you think I've got time to make some flapjacks? OK, well, we'll see you when you get here, I suppose.
Give my best to your mother.
Bye.
Morning, Geraldine.
You're late again.
Am I? Well, if you don't know you're late, why are you out of breath from running? I like running.
Oh, yeah, about as much as I do.
Cup of tea? Yes, please, and is your sister still coming in today? Yeah! Oh, my God.
Bigsy I'm up here at the castle now.
Where are you? Stop farting about, man.
I'm working today.
I could do without this hike! MUSIC: Wings Of A Dove by Madness.
Bigsy! Mike.
Jesus, you frightened the life out of me, man! Sorry.
What you doing in a balaclava? It's boiling! I'm incognito.
I'm the only one here, knobhead! Oh, yeah.
Right, you want to sit down? Sit down? I need a lie down after that.
Don't tell me you stayed up here by yourself last night.
HE SNIFFS.
Certainly smells a bit fresher than your bedroom, doesn't it? HE CHUCKLES.
Mate, I did this for you.
For me? How's that? After Tony Peroni threatened to smash my face in cos he thought I was you.
I thought it was better to stay away from our place just in case he had me tailed, so I went covert.
What do you mean, "covert"? When me back's against the wall, me military training kicks in, and suddenly, bang, I'm invisible, I'm a ghost, I'm at one with nature, I can live off the land - you know what I'm saying? What did you do for your tea? I went down Winking Willy's, got a patty and chips.
Mm.
What you going to do, you know, about Peroni? I don't know.
Probably just keep me head down, stay out of his way, I think.
No, no, no, no, no, that is the worst thing you can do.
Well, what do you suggest? Go down to his ice-cream shop? "Oh, I'll have a couple of 99s, please, and a Jubbly.
Oh, by the way, "I had a go on your missus, but I did think you were in prison.
" Is that why you snogged her? No, of course not! I was hammered, weren't I? She jumped me, I didn't know what was happening.
If you keep avoiding him, it's going to look like you've got something to hide.
Yeah, well, I can't stay up here with you.
I'm not sure I can survive on nuts and berries and patty and chips.
What did he say to you, anyway, last night? Oh, man, he was livid.
Tried to rip me face off.
He was like a mad chimpanzee.
Did he manage it? It's hard to tell.
HE CHUCKLES.
Hilarious.
You're the one suggesting I pop in and have a chat with him over a strawberry Mivvi! You don't want to be like me, mate.
Nope.
Living your life looking over your shoulder.
Best thing, just turn up out of the blue - he won't be expecting that, it'll completely disarm him.
Mm.
Maybe.
You going to come with me? Are you taking the piss? The man is an absolute savage! You just told me it'd totally disarm him! It's not me he wants to see, is it? Anyway, how's things with you and Karen? Yeah, we'll be all right, I think.
Yeah, she's got other things on her mind at the moment.
You know a woman died at the salon last night? Yeah, saw all the jokes on Facebook.
People can be sick, man.
Mm, awful.
Although, did you see that picture of Elvis sat on the toilet with rollers in his hair? That was funny.
Oh, yeah, that was mine.
Was it? Nice one.
THEY LAUGH.
Right, well, now I know you're still breathing, I'd best be off.
You going to have a word with Peroni? I don't know, I'll have a think about it.
Do not sleep up here again.
Hey, hey, don't you worry about me, mate.
There's a bed waiting for me if I need it.
Your Karen's mate was absolutely gagging for me last night.
What, Lisa Marie? Thought you didn't fancy her.
Well, I admit I could do better, but she's got something, don't you think? Yeah, very low standards.
See you later.
OK.
So you said you heard noise from next door while you were watching the television.
Yes, that's right.
Can you describe it? What? The television? The noise, can you describe the noise? The noise from next door.
Well, just a bit of banging about, really - nothing exciting.
Well, you said you'd never heard a noise like it.
Yes, well, what I meant was it would've woken Mr Ferris - he's a very sensitive man.
Is he all right? Can I see him? Mr Ferris is a bit shaken by what happened.
And you're right, he's a very sensitive man.
And what time did you hear the disturbance, Mrs Norris? Oh, about 1:00 in the morning.
Did they take much? And were you in all night? Er, no, we were at The Ship till about nine.
Er, then we went to a friend's for a nightcap, got back here about, what, 10:30, Mam? Yes, yes, that's right.
Karaoke at The Ship on Friday, ain't it? Yeah.
Yeah, we know Jack the landlord, obviously.
He's just been granted a license for karaoke on Saturday afternoons for all the hen parties and that.
HE CHUCKLES.
It's going to get messy, like mm-mm-mm! Are you listening to me? I asked, did they take much? We can't discuss any details of the crime, but Mr Ferris claims that nothing was missing.
Although they made such a mess, it's probably quite difficult to know.
We offer confidential support for people affected by crime, Mrs Norris.
This leaflet will give you all the relevant information.
Nothing missing? Well, why would they break into a house and not take anything? I mean, none of this makes sense.
Well, we have both your numbers.
Will you be staying here today, Karen? Er, no, but I only work at Geraldine's on Quay Street, so I'm literally five minutes away if my mum needs me.
The hairdresser's? Yeah.
Where that woman died last night? Yeah.
Wow! What a coincidence.
That's where we're going next, ain't it, Jill? We'll see ourselves out.
Do you want a lift? MUSIC: A Message To You Rudy by The Specials Lisa Marie, is your sister coming or not? Yeah, I told you, she's coming.
You just want her to sweep up and that? You keep saying she's coming, but where is she? It's cash in hand, yeah? Well, do you not remember? You said it was £5 an hour, cash in hand, that's what I told her.
Can you come over to reception, please, Lisa Marie? Yes, I'm just putting Mrs Skelton under the lamp.
Lisa Marie! Strange as it may appear to a generation who feel the need to alert the universe every time they sneeze, I on the other hand do not wish the entire population of Scarborough to be privy to my peccadillos.
I haven't got a clue what you're talking about.
We do not talk openly about business, especially money, in the salon.
Oh, I meant to say to you, you know the cupboard under the sink? Yes.
Well, it's got a bit of a leak, and as I was having a look at it, a bag of money A bag of money Geraldine Pane? Yes, that's me.
Is there somewhere we can talk? What is it regarding? Shall we go in the back? Can I get either of you a cup of tea? Not while we're working.
Thank you.
Ugh! Oh, my God! You won't believe the morning I've had! Hiya, Geraldine.
Sorry it took me ages to get here, I had to sign on first.
It is cash in hand, ain't it? I have no idea what she's talking about.
Do you? I'll I'll put the kettle on.
Hm.
It's been such a terrible shock to us all.
We've never known anything like it, have we, Karen? No.
And although Mrs Bookham had been a loyal patron for many years, she kept herself to herself, and we didn't really know her, did we, Karen? No.
I mean, I say that, we knew she'd been under the doctor recently, but we didn't expect her to die sitting on our toilet.
We were mortified, weren't we, Karen? No.
Er, I mean, yes.
I mean, no, we didn't expect her to die on the toilet, obviously.
Although it would be a strange world if we expected everyone who went to the toilet to never come back, wouldn't it? Yeah.
I suppose.
Can you imagine? "I'm busting to drop the kids off at the pool.
" "Well, it were nice knowing you, Jeff.
" I'm sorry, you've lost me.
Whose kids? Who's Jeff?! How much money? Loads, well over a grand.
Drugs money.
Drugs?! Geraldine?! How many boxes of paracetamol would she have to sell to get over a grand? Well, it's dodgy or else why would it be stashed away? Obviously.
Why do you think the police are here? PHONE DINGS.
What? It's Bigsy from last night.
SHE SCREAMS And it was you who found the body, wasn't it, Mrs Pane? It were both of us.
And according to the statement you gave the attending officer, you said, "She must've been on there a good couple of hours.
" Is that what I said? We've been told, when found, Mrs Bookham had already been deceased somewhere between four and six hours.
I'd gone to get the cream cakes that we get every Friday, and apparently, during that time, Mrs Bookham had gone to the loo.
When I got back, I just thought she'd had her hair done and gone.
And what about everybody else in the salon? Which one of you was doing Mrs Bookham's hair? Oh, that was Carol.
She only helps us out every now and again.
She was on a half-day because her husband gets his leg drained on a Friday.
Look, we've told you all this already.
And, yeah, Mrs Bookham was gone three or four hours, but, I mean, we were that busy, we wouldn't have noticed.
I suppose it was just unfortunate that none of us needed the loo in that time.
Unfortunate? Miraculous, given my bladder! There is also the question of the handbag.
Handbag? Mrs Bookham's handbag.
What about the handbag? Did you happen to look in it? No, I didn't.
Did you, Karen? No.
Not even to check for ID? ID for what? We knew it was Mrs Bookham, she'd been coming here for years.
What was in the handbag? Nothing - no money, no purse.
Nothing.
Can I ask how Mrs Bookham used to pay for her hair appointments? Um She settled up at the end of the month.
She didn't like anybody knowing she had credit, so we didn't write it down.
It was all done on trust.
Ah, yes, trust.
Not much of that about these days.
Right, well, I think we can leave it there for now, but I'm sure we'll be in touch.
I'll see you out.
Oh, just one more thing.
Yes? Can you tell me what you keep in that cupboard? Which cupboard? That cupboard.
Oh, that cupboard? Oh, I don't know, really.
Er, nothing much.
Bleach, mainly.
Just bleach? Well, and, er, a few dishcloths.
Right.
Right, bleach and dishcloths.
Bleach and dishcloths.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, Police Constable Merrick.
Where do you think you're going?! She's hiding and I'm going to find it! What are you doing?! Doing me job! Leave it! Leave it! I can put the stuff back inside.
I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry.
It's all right, I'll sort it.
We'll, um, see ourselves out.
Sorry.
I just thought they had some Shurrup! I think we need a staff meeting.
I don't want to hear any more! I don't want to hear any more from you! Excuse me, where's Tony Peroni? Yes, can I help you? Yeah, I just wondered if I could have a word.
We have nothing at the moment.
I'm sorry? You are looking for a job, yes? Oh, no.
I just need to speak to you.
Everything all right? Sit down, Lisa Marie.
What's going on? Earlier on you mentioned you'd seen a bag containing money.
Yeah, well, I was trying to tell you that I moved it because it was getting wet under the sink, but then the, um, police came in, so And where's the money now? Oh, I put it in the top cupboard.
Honestly, you should put money like that in the bank.
Unless, um there's some sort of problem with it, is there? Mrs Bookham asked us to look after that money for her when she came into the salon.
Didn't she, Karen? I don't think I were there when she said that.
Well, she did.
And now the police are asking, what was Mrs Bookham doing carrying around an empty handbag? Well, it was empty because she'd given all the money to you.
Yes, but we couldn't tell the police about the money.
Why not? Because we don't know where Mrs Bookham got it.
That's not your problem.
Well, it is a problem when we've already done the police interview and Geraldine didn't mention the money.
I mean, heaven knows where it came from, I'm just trying to protect Mrs Bookham.
Well, maybe she'd, er, gone out to pay her rent or something.
What? £2,840?! SHE LAUGHS Look, um, let's just keep this to ourselves, yeah? Until Geraldine decides what to do.
All right.
Meanwhile, maybe you could spend a tenner of that money on a new bog seat.
I'm sure that's what Mrs Bookham would've wanted.
Geraldine, you have got to tell the police about that money! I'm trying to avoid getting Mrs Bookham into trouble.
Mrs Bookham's dead, it's you that's trying to avoid trouble! Look, we both knew about that money and we both kept quiet about it.
Oh, no, no.
No, you don't.
I'm sorry, Geraldine, you took that money, not me.
You can sort all this out.
When you've both quite finished, there's no paper in here.
So, I just wanted to clear up this misunderstanding, you know, between myself and your, um you know, between me and Hayley.
Your Hayley.
Cox? Hayley Cox? Please say something.
So, you are Mike? Yeah, I'm I'm Mike.
You know Piggy almost got a beating for you last night? Who?! Your friend, Piggy.
Piggy? Oh, Bigsy! Ah, well, I mean, he's used to it, to be fair.
But, no, I wanted to come here today, speak to you and set the record straight.
So tell me the record.
What? Oh, yeah, I see what you mean.
Well, I'd been drinking that night, you know, a lot, and I did not feel well, so I went outside, just for a bit of fresh air, and I don't know what happened, but Hayley came out and she sort of was grabbing me and she kissed me, and I don't know why.
I can only assume she just thought I was someone else.
Who? I mean, not you, because you were you were in you were, um, out of town, weren't you? So you're either calling my girlfriend stupid or a whore.
Which is it, Mike? No, no, I'm trying to tell you what happened.
You know, I was out with me missus that night, so I'm hardly going to be looking for any funny business.
You are married? Well, not exactly married, no, but, you know, we were together for five years and, er, I was a singer - never at home, really - and then when I was at home, I was out of work, weren't I? So we ended up bickering and arguing, and in the end we broke up.
Then she went out with this other fella, sort of a rebound thing, you know.
Bit of a bellend, but Then they got together, married for two years, and in the meantime I'd actually stopped the singing and ended up with a job at one of the arcades, you know? Anyway, she got divorced three months ago and we got back together, sort of, a few weeks ago, and it's been great, it's been really nice.
You know, I mean, until all this.
I asked if you were married, not for your life story.
Yeah, no, of course.
Sorry.
But if this is true and you were with your woman, this changes things.
Oh, does it? Of course.
You're an even bigger idiot than I thought you were.
No, I am an idiot, but I'm sorry.
I admit it takes two to make a tango, and alcohol makes fools of us all, but what you did brought shame on me, and you are in my debt.
And if you are in MY debt, you're in debt to my family.
I understand.
And if you ever need any help humping a box of flakes up some stairs, you you give us a shout.
Are you trying to make a joke? No, no.
No, not really, no.
Why? I came to Scarborough when I was 16 to help my uncle run his failing ice-cream parlour.
His debts were huge and business was bad, so I came and worked the entire summer for free.
The day before I was to go back home to Italy, he died in a freak accident.
A heavy metal shelf overfilled with flakes and chocolate sprinkles broke and came away from the wall, killing him instantly.
There were rumours that it was suicide, that my uncle killed himself for the life insurance to keep this ice-cream parlour open, which, if true, would have been a noble act.
You know what the headline was in the local newspaper? No.
"Ice-cream man tops himself with chocolate sprinkles.
" HE CHUCKLES The bastards.
My family is not a joke, Mike.
And you are in its debt.
I will be in touch - of this you can be assured.
Now go.
Yeah.
OK, go easy next time, Ryan.
If you've got a problem, contact me or Morticia over there.
How would you like it if every time you didn't work you got a good kicking? You've just described the manifesto of this Tory government.
Aye, all right, calm down, Ben Elton.
Who? What does that say? "De Profundis.
" Was ist das, meine Frau? Oscar Wilde.
Oh, I like him.
IRISH ACCENT: "I've got nothing to declare except me genius.
" Yeah, I'd like to see him try that at Leeds Bradford.
He'd end up in an interrogation room with a finger up his bum.
Mind you OK, well, that's me done.
Laters, potaters.
"Some cause happiness wherever they go" MACHINE HONKS HE CHUCKLES "others whenever they go.
" Gonna get married Goin' to the chapel and we're Gonna get married Cor, a bit lively in here, ain't it? I know.
Do you want to go somewhere else? No, I'm fine.
Did you track Bigsy down? Yeah, he was up at the castle like some sort of cross between.
Bear Grylls and Captain Birdseye.
Sounds like Bigsy.
Yeah.
You look lovely.
Oh, you are joking! I've more or less come straight from work.
No, I'm not joking, you do.
Hi, Mike.
You going to give us a song? Er, not tonight, Jack.
Hey, keep the 18th free, yeah? Big charity do here, I need good singers.
Or, failing that, you can give us a song.
Hey, hilarious! I thank you.
You on the orange juice? For now, yeah.
Yeah, I've been thinking about knocking the old drinking on the head for a bit.
There you go, Mike.
Cheers, Jess.
Yeah, I mean, you're allowed the odd social pint, aren't you? As opposed to the odd anti-social pint.
Exactly.
Hey, I've been thinking Yeah? Well, I wanted to get you something.
Oh! What? I know I've been an idiot, and I wanted to get you something to show you that I was sorry and that I love you.
I know you love me.
You don't have to buy me anything to prove it.
Yeah, well, I didn't buy it.
I won it.
What you laughing at? That's cost me 28p on the 2p pusher, that! SHE LAUGHS.
What? You.
Karen fancy a dance? I do.
PHONE DINGS Going to the chapel and we're Gonna get married Gee, I really love you And we're gonna get married Goin' to the chapel of love.
MUSIC: You Don't Have To Say You Love Me by Dusty Springfield.
When I said I needed you You said you would always stay It wasn't me who changed but you And now you've gone away