Smallville s06e02 Episode Script

Sneeze

Pentagon officials continue to deny any security breach and any responsibility for the events of Dark Thursday.
Experts predicted recovery from Dark Thursday would take years.
But here in Metropolis, the cleanup effort has been remarkably-- --public is stunned at how fast rubble has been cleared from the streets.
This is Genevieve Sparling reporting live from-- You've been out again all night, haven't you? Can't do what I need to do in the daylight.
Clark, I know you want to help but you can't single-handedly rebuild everything that's been destroyed.
It's my mess, Mom, I need to clean it up.
You're not responsible for what happened.
Zod is.
Zod would not have been released if for once in my life I'd listened to Jor-El and done what he asked me to do.
I have chores to do.
Hey.
Hey.
Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine.
-Clark, wait, wait, wait.
I've never seen you this worn out.
Even you have your limits.
-The chores can wait.
-I'm okay.
Really.
I'm fine.
What the hell? You know, for someone about to change addresses you're traveling pretty light.
Yeah, well, I don't need a lot.
It's only temporary.
They think the school should reopen by next semester.
It was nice of you to offer me a room at the mansion.
I don't know what I would have done.
Lex, if you're not okay with this and having second thoughts, then let's talk.
There's nothing to talk about.
Everything's great.
Clark, was that the first time you ever sneezed? The first time I've had a scratchy throat with my ears plugged up.
-Ninety-eight point six.
-No fever.
I'm no doctor, but it seems like it's just a common cold.
You're far from common, Clark.
I don't remember you ever even having the sniffles.
I've never pushed myself so far into overdrive before.
You know, you said when you were in that zone, your powers were gone.
That means your immune system was normal.
You could have been exposed to something there.
Whatever it is, I'm not really that sick, so.
Hi.
You guys are not gonna believe what just happened to me.
I'm out there jogging along, minding my own business when out of nowhere, a barn door comes falling from the clear, blue sky and almost crushes me.
How does that happen? Maybe it fell from an airplane.
Good guess, but the only thing up there was a severely traumatized sparrow.
Does Clarkie have the sniffles? It's just a little cold.
Well, lucky for you, I have the perfect remedy.
Honey and a little bit of cayenne pepper.
Works every time.
First it makes you sneeze, but then I swear you're cured.
-Lois, I'll pass.
-I think we're all out of cayenne, Lois.
No, you're not.
I'm just gonna whip up a little bit of something here.
Where did your barn door go? It was here last night when I came to drop off documents and now it's gone.
Look at that.
It is gone.
And it's been ripped right off its hinges.
Oh, my God, that barn door.
I knew it looked familiar.
Now, how in the world does that happen? Mr.
Pontius.
What the hell am I paying you for? I was followed again today.
Black Range Rover, Edge City plates? I tracked it to an abandoned factory on 5th and Hayworth.
Then why are you still here? I'm on my way.
I want this taken care of, by any means necessary.
Do you understand? I had no idea I was moving into a fortress.
Everywhere I turn, there's another security guard.
Lana, that gentleman's not a security guard.
He's a private investigator.
Over the last few days, it's become clear I'm being followed.
By who? Well, I doubt I have to look much further than the lowest branch on the family tree but I can't be sure.
Have you called the police? After breaking every law imaginable when I was inhabited by Zod I don't wanna go anywhere near a badge.
I can't trust anyone.
Not even my own security.
You can trust me.
Of course I can.
Then I want you to have this.
In case of an emergency.
He's the best P.
I.
in Metropolis.
If anything happens to me, you need to call that number.
Not the police.
-Robert Pontius will make sure you're safe.
-Lex, don't talk like that.
I'm just being cautious.
-Chloe.
-How's this for a megadose of guilt money? I've got bigger news.
What happened? Is everything all right? I sneezed.
-And? -And? Chloe, that's not normal.
Well, Clark, nothing with you is exactly normal.
-I wouldn't call sneezing today's headline.
-You don't understand.
I-- -l-- -You what? Grab a tissue and get over it.
Gesundheit.
I tried to warn you.
I've come down with some cold.
And become a walking air cannon.
Let's get you out of here before you blow again.
At least I was able to cover half my face that time.
This morning I blew the barn door halfway across Lowell County.
It almost hit Lois.
Lois, as in Lane? Now, she's on a one-woman crusade to find an explanation.
-She won't stop digging till she hits China.
-I'll take care of Lois.
You just take care of that cold.
We have enough natural disasters without having to worry about Hurricane Clark looming off the coast.
No.
Just kidding.
Well, I forgot what a concerned parent you are.
That's why you're having me followed? To make sure I don't destroy the rest of the world? If I were having you followed, son you'd never know it.
I can guarantee that.
I hate to disappoint you, but whatever powers I had are long gone.
If you're looking for an encore performance, you're out of luck.
-Elvis has left the building.
-You wanna find out who's stalking you? I suggest you concentrate on remembering every little, minute detail of that horrific day.
Well, I guess I should have kept a blog because I suffered a total memory loss.
Besides what Lana has told me, those 24 hours are gone.
The atrocities you committed, they could have been witnessed by anyone.
Lex, please, let me help you.
I've been on the receiving end of your help before, Dad.
I think I'll pass.
Listen to me.
There are some adversaries that cannot be defeated alone.
Lex.
Lex.
The bear is hibernating, over.
How you doing? This is one part about being human I don't envy.
It's not all that bad.
You can lie on the couch all day and watch DVDs while your mom makes some doctor-certified chicken soup.
Mom, I can watch DVDs after I fix the irrigation ditch.
No, your health is a lot more important than the irrigation ditch.
We're in uncharted waters now, Clark, and your Dad's not here to help us out.
So, please, you have to trust my instincts and rest.
Okay? Lionel, is everything all right? Lex.
He's gone.
I think he's been abducted.
Who do you think is behind it? Considering what he stole from the Pentagon, my initial reaction was the government, but after I spoke to my contacts in Washington I don't think so.
I-- You have to find him, Clark.
Why? Lex and I have nothing to do with each other anymore.
But you and Zod do.
Lex insists he can't remember anything that happened when he was possessed by Zod, but he might not be honest about it.
He might remember it all.
Whoever his captors are, if they put enough pressure on him he could tell the truth about you.
Well, good morning, Mr.
Invincible.
Where am l? In your cage, where every lab rat belongs.
Oh, and before you even try escaping you might consider you're hooked up to enough wattage -to drop an elephant.
-Who are you? Just someone who's interested in how you possess superhuman powers.
Powers? I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, come on, Lex.
We both know you were the one at the Pentagon swatting away those bullets like they were mosquitoes.
And not even a scratch.
Yeah, see, we-- We saw it on the only working satellite on Dark Thursday.
So we know you have the powers.
Just kind of wanna know how you got them.
My people are already on to you.
Your people? I think that's the guy I caught kind of roaming around outside.
Pontius, right? The guy downstairs with the bullet in his head.
Enough foreplay, all right? Let's get this started.
You're gonna tell me everything.
See, I told you.
I am no Chicken Little and that is no acorn.
Now, how is that remotely conceivable? -The Kents live miles away from here.
-Okay, it's definitely weird.
I'll give you that.
But it's not Wall of Weird.
-It's called a microburst.
-A micro what? It's like a sudden mini-tornado.
It happens when there are extreme changes in the temperature.
It's actually not that unheard of in the Midwest.
It was sunny and 75.
There was nothing extreme about the weather.
You might not have felt it.
It's probably in the upper atmosphere but there must have been some change in the barometric pressures.
Either you've been watching too much Weather Channel or a year at the Daily Planet has turned you into a skeptic.
It's called being realistic.
You might wanna try it once in a while.
You told me that science can explain a fraction of what happens in this town.
And this happens to fall into that fraction.
Look, Lois, I still believe in the paranormal.
Trust me.
But you have to accept the fact that sometimes the answers are no further away than the pages of your Scientific American.
What are you doing with a gun? We were specifically told not to use violence.
So? Look, I don't answer to anybody, okay? Especially your boss.
Now, what I want to know is how bullets bounced off his body like ping-pong balls.
Information like that is very valuable on the open market.
You were specifically hired-- Yeah, well, guess what.
I'm an entrepreneur, okay? So either you join my newest venture or you can end up like the Pontius guy.
Your choice.
Hey, Lex.
I was thinking.
Why don't we try a little experiment? What are you doing? I told you, I don't remember any of it happening.
Yeah, but it did.
And I wanna see it happen again.
Please, no.
No.
Oh, God.
Lois, what are you doing here? I wanted to personally hand-deliver this article to your editor.
-You're a journalist now? -Yeah.
Wow, that's a lot of words.
The Smallville Ledger's too small-minded to appreciate investigative reportage so I thought the Planet would be the perfect publisher.
Lois, I hate to be the one to rain on your Pulitzer parade but I really don't think that a story about weather's gonna stand a chance when we're dealing with the aftermath of Dark Thursday.
No, this story is way more than about wild weather, okay? Not only is it an exposé on the paranormal it is a story about human triumph over adversity.
That barn door could have chopped me in half.
Read it.
Funny, I don't remember there being an E in "tornado.
" -Just a little typo.
-And the extra H in "weather"? You know what I think? I think that you're just a little bit jealous that you're not the only one in the family with a natural way with words.
Really? Well, Lo, you know, you're right.
I might be jealous of you, but words have nothing to do with it.
Fine.
Forget the Daily Planet.
I don't need this stuffy, pseudo-intellectual rag.
Out there somewhere is a newspaper that knows a story when they see one.
-Well, good luck.
-Thank you.
Lana.
What are you doing here? Actually, I'm living here now.
You're looking for Lex.
He's not here.
Lex has gone missing, Lana.
I think he may have been kidnapped.
Oh, God.
Has he mentioned any recent threats against him? Lana, if you have any information that might be able to help me find him.
I don't understand, Clark.
Why are you the leader of his search party? Lana, no matter what my differences are with Lex, I don't wanna see him get hurt.
Or maybe you have your own reasons.
How'd you know that Lex was going to be transformed into that monster before anyone else? Did you tell Lex about this? Not yet.
Clark, I want an answer.
You can't keep secrets when Lex's life is in danger.
If I had all the answers, I wouldn't be here, Lana.
I just wanna help find Lex.
Then do it.
Don't pretend you're doing it for him.
You've reached Robert Pontius.
Leave your name and number.
Mr.
Pontius.
What the hell am I paying you for? I was followed again today.
Black Range Rover? Edge City plates? I tracked it to an abandoned factory on 5th and Hayworth.
-Then why are you still here? -I'm on my way.
Then what is it that turns a weak, hairless punk into some superhuman Goliath? I honestly don't know.
Well, I honestly don't believe you.
Now, we know LuthorCorp conducts research involving genetically enhanced human strength.
Now, you obviously did something to yourself.
-What was it? -Do you really wanna know? A being from another dimension-- Actually another planet.
--inhabited my body and gave me powers.
It sounds ridiculous, but it's true.
When he left me the powers went with him.
That's it.
That's all I know.
Are you mocking me? Now, why would I mock a guy who just shot me? You know, the first gunshot was a minor flesh wound, Lex.
Now, this one may sting a little more.
-You wanna keep your girlfriend happy? -All right.
All right, you win.
There's a serum.
It's in a lab on the 33rd floor of LuthorCorp.
It's in the vault in the center cabinet.
The code is Julian 452.
Wagner, go.
Lionel Luthor.
All those hostile takeovers haven't aged you a bit.
Tell me, what's your secret? Well, perhaps I should give some credit to a nightly nip.
This 40-year-old Highland Scotch certainly helps to smooth the stress.
I vigorously recommend it.
Welcome to Metropolis, Oliver.
That's a nice gesture.
So I guess I shouldn't be surprised, should l? -You've always been so generous.
-Yeah.
You know, Oliver, when I read in the papers "Oliver Queen Moves to Metropolis" I was very curious.
I mean, you've made such a name for yourself in Star City.
Why would you relocate? Well, how can you resist these views.
Not to mention the crisp Midwestern air.
You had a chance to touch base with my son yet? Haven't had a chance, been meaning to.
How is old Lex doing by the way? Has he stepped out of your shadow? Oh, he's changed a lot since your boarding school days together.
Well, we all have.
You know what, Lionel? You've inspired me.
I'm gonna give him a call.
Yeah.
I'll call him today.
You could have a hard time reaching him.
Lex, it seems, has been abducted.
He's been abducted? My God.
Oh, Oliv-- I remember in the Excelsior school plays, you were always so good.
So convincing.
Lionel, I'm involved in a lot of business ventures, as you know.
But I can assure you kidnapping is not one of them.
I remember, you have an unpleasant history with my son.
And I know Queen lndustries had the only working satellite on Dark Thursday.
I know, I know, Oliver.
You've suffered through a lot in your young life.
But if you have so much as laid a hand on Lex the word "suffer" will take on a whole new meaning to you.
Sounds like a threat.
Have a pleasant stay in Metropolis, Oliver.
However brief it is.
-Hey.
-Hey.
I never thought I'd utter these words, but you don't look so hot.
I don't feel so hot.
I bailed out of super-speed around 3rd Avenue.
Jogged the rest of the way.
Then take a seat.
Calm down.
But if you feel the slightest inkling of a sneeze you cover your face and Ziploc it shut, okay? I went to Lex's mansion.
I saw Lana.
So you know about the new domestic partnership? It's like we don't even know each other anymore.
I told her about Lex.
She made a phone call to someone named Robert Pontius.
The highest paid Sam Spade in Metropolis? Maybe Lex knew he was in trouble.
I want to talk to this guy and see what he knows.
When you escaped from that Kryptonian Land of the Lost I bet you didn't think you'd be rewarded by having to save Lex Luthor while battling a raging cold.
Not exactly the goodbye gift I was expecting.
No.
I guess heroes don't get sick days.
They also don't put the world in jeopardy on an annual basis.
I'm no hero, Chloe.
There it is.
-51 5 Grant Street.
-Okay, let's get out of here.
-Chloe, this could be dangerous.
-Yeah, especially for you.
I mean, you barely got here.
You need to conserve your energy.
Oh, God.
Quick hands.
You're getting good at that.
Chloe, it's Lana.
Whenever you get this message, I need you to check out an address: Call me.
Looking for Lex? Are you okay? Perfect.
God, and I was expecting ceiling fans and cigarette butts.
I think this guy can afford central air.
All right, I'm a decent hacker, but I'm not a miracle worker.
You really don't give me enough credit for all this stuff.
It's not easy.
-Chloe.
-These encryptions-- It'll take me hours to get into Lex's account.
Chloe.
There's a hidden door in the wall.
Even with a stuffy nose, you still got it.
What's wrong? -I guess I'm not a hundred percent.
-Yeah, I can see that.
Looks like your batteries are running seriously low.
What about a sneeze? What about it? If your sneeze could blow a barn door seven miles across Smallville I bet you anything you could take that one out no problem.
-Chloe, I just can't force it.
-Why not? -You can do anything-- -Except sneeze on command.
It's a reflex, not a circus trick.
Then blow.
-That's not funny.
-I'm not kidding.
Clark, with a sneeze like yours, that says a lot about your lung capacity.
Now, just take a really deep breath and blow it out as hard as you can.
-That's a steel door, not a birthday cake.
-I don't see anything else working.
Let's see what you've got.
Huff, puff and blow this door down.
Good thing you didn't have garlic today.
Okay, so either Pontius is interested in purchasing a used-furniture warehouse-- This is where he thinks Lex is.
-Taxi's leaving.
Let's roll.
-You're not rolling anywhere.
I can't guarantee your safety.
I don't want a guarantee, Clark.
I want to help.
-Go back to the Daily Planet.
Wait for me.
-Clark, I don't-- Lex.
Lex, what have they done to you? -What is she doing here? -Hey.
Well, Lex, let's just say that she's here to spend a little quality time with you.
Let her go.
You don't need her.
Well, see, that's not quite true.
Because now that we have your serum we're gonna need somebody to use it on.
And I'd say your girlfriend is as good a guinea pig as anyone, wouldn't you? Now, in case this stuff really does turn you into some kind of super chick just remember, there's a gun pointed at your boyfriend's head.
-Get away from me.
-Wait.
It won't work on her.
The serum was tailored for my blood chemistry.
Lex, no.
Well.
Then I guess it's time to wake the sleeping dragon.
Get back.
Stay back.
Bitch.
See if there's anything you can cut the fence with.
Lex, the hatch.
Help me.
Lana, this is all my fault.
I'm so sorry.
Hey, I brought something for us to do in case the lake's too cold to swim in.
And the great thing is, we don't have to wait for it to get windy.
Gee, thanks.
Come on.
Doesn't it make you wonder what else the possibilities are? I mean, Clark Kent Airlines.
Nonstop to Metropolis.
Miracles really do happen.
Man walked on the moon.
Call waiting was created.
And Lois Lane got her first byline on the front page of the Inquisitor.
Hey, that's great, Lo.
I don't know how I feel about the alien angle, but-- Yeah, I wasn't too crazy about the E.
T.
spin either but my editor insisted it helps sell papers, so-- Well, let's hear it for journalistic integrity.
Look, I swear, you guys, when I was writing that article-- I don't know, I don't think I've ever been happier in my life.
The thrill of discovery, the clacking of keys, the scent of fresh ink.
Yeah, I think I finally found my calling.
Hey, how about you come join us at the lake? We can celebrate your first article with a splash.
Have you looked in the sky lately? It looks like it's gonna rain.
Since I don't like swimming in the rain, I'll see you guys around.
It worked.
Hey.
When I moved in, you forgot to mention I'd be living with Big Brother.
Lana, those are just security cameras to ensure the safety of everyone on this property.
I see.
Was I breaching security when I was alone in my bedroom? Lana.
Okay, you clearly have the wrong idea.
Those cameras are only viewed if there's an emergency.
I would never invade your privacy like that.
But you already have.
Lex the cameras go or I do.
The camera in your room will be down within the hour.
But the rest of them stay.
You're free to make other arrangements, Lana but this is the way I live.
And it's not gonna change.
I thought I made myself clear.
You were only to use violence if you were in danger.
Mr.
Queen, I told you, Block went rogue.
I tried to stop him, but he would have killed me too.
Well, we couldn't have that now, could we? I guess I'm just gonna have to start being more careful as to who I trust.
Speaking of which, how's my old buddy Lex doing? Whatever powers he had are clearly gone.
But, sir, there was someone else in the warehouse.
Someone who seems to have other abilities.
Find him.
How about--? Borneo.

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