So Random! (2011) s01e26 Episode Script

Destinee & Paris

1 Mm-hmm.
I wasn't very happy.
With your grades on this test, class.
In fact, none of you did well.
- Mrs.
Lash? Mm-hmm? A d-minus? That can't be right.
I think you marked the tests incorrectly.
I graded the test in the testtron machine, Carl.
Why do you always use the testtron machine? It's a school rule.
Besides, the testtron machine is never wrong.
Whoa! Hey, kids, as long as you write your answers.
With a #2 pencil, I'm never wrong.
It's the guy that grades our tests? But I do more than just grade your standardized tests.
- For real? - When school lets out, Is when this testtron lets his circuits hang loose.
- Wow.
- Because I am more than just a testtron.
I amjamtron.
To the club.
I'm your jamtron, I-I-I'm your jamtron .
I-I-I'm your jamtron I'm your jamtron, grading tests all day, partying all night the standardized fun machine gets every question right am I looking for friendship? Am I looking for love? am I looking all of the above ? b c d b a a b a d b c a a a b c a a b b c d b a b c d b a a b a d b c a I don't grade essays, I grade multiple choice now hook up the Mike so you can hear my voice if you don't know the answer, it's best you guess c if you wanna know the hottest club, it's best to ask me .
That testtron is way funky.
Look at him shake his ro-booty.
I grade tests come rain or shine whether you're prompt or tardy a e b b a c b d a e d a c c d b a a b a c d b a a e b b a c d b a e d a c d a b a a e b c d b a you may say "that's a crazy life my test-grading friend" but the next day when the school bell rings I'll do it again! Word to your motherboard.
That guy was pretty funky.
And right.
I did mark that answer incorrectly.
Oh great.
Now grab a dustpan and help me clean up.
What? Why do we have to do that? It's a school rule! a b c c a a e b d c a b a a b c c a.
"so random!" it's a party, get down - "so random!" - It's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around a fantastic journey, a little bit of this and that you know we gonna chill, might not come back so if you're ready, get set 'cause it's time to roll with "so random!" stuff that's out of control surprises flying 'cause life's a riot so ride with us 'cause you need to try it we're on the way, it's time to hang so let's get random and do our thing come on It's a party, get down .
"so random!" it's a party, get down "so random!" it's a party, get down shake that, shake that all around "so random!" Give it up for the casts of "so random!"the cast Hey, guys, we've got a great show for you tonight, But we wanna start things off just a little different.
Yeah, we get a ton from our fans, h questions.
So we thought right here on the show.
Em.
Uh-huh, that is right.
Our first letter.
Is from a fan in new Mexico.
- "dear 'so random!'" - That's us.
Mmm.
"What makes your stage turn?" That is an excellent question.
We use very sophisticated, State-of-the-art stage-turning technology.
Let us show you.
Those little guys are the best in the business, Plus they get paid in wood chips.
Yeah, like all of us.
Right guys? Wood chips.
Okay, so our next question.
Comes from Boise, Idaho.
"dear 'so random!', How do you keep coming up with new ideas for your sketches?" Good question.
We actually have a crack team of highly skilled writers, So let's see what they're up to right now.
They're actually powering the "so random! " sketch generator.
Oh, Herman and schwartz, you have done it again.
Well, schwartz anyways.
Hey guys, our last question just came in on our homepage.
- Oh.
- Let's see.
"dear 'so random!', Your hamsters seem to do a lot of the work around here.
"Do you have a back-up system in case they get tired?" - Oh.
- Oh, as a matter of fact, we do.
How long is Herman and schwartz's lunch break? - I don't know.
Just keep running.
- They're running out of ideas.
Well, we've got a great show for you tonight, As long as they keep running.
Destinee and Paris are here, so stick around! Whoo! Whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Where's the theme song? Where's the theme song? - Come on, play it.
- Run! Run! Faster! There it is.
All right.
I'm Julia Peters and welcome to Tonight we're at the first annual zachy awards! The only award show celebrating how I, Julia Peters, Will one day marry sixth-grade hottie Zach Feldman.
For a report on how exciting tonight's events are, Let's go to my colleague, Leslie charlet.
So exciting! - So exciting? - So exciting! That's it.
We are currently in the luxurious cleaning closet.
Of the triple tree hotel Thank you, lock pick Which is connected to the ballroom.
Where Zach Feldman and his family are currently celebrating.
Our pre-engagement party.
Happy retirement, grandpa Feldman! They're a little confused.
I'd be there, but since it's bad luck.
To see your bride before the wedding, My superstitious fiancé had security kick me out.
Oh! Looks like it's time for the first award.
And the winner is Julia Peters and Zach Feldman! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! - Congratulations.
- Oh.
Zach couldn't be here tonight, So accepting the award on his behalf.
Is the kid who sits two rows behind him on the bus, Jay herrick! Mrs.
Peters, You cut the crust off just like I like it.
- Hey, you're on! - Oh! Hi.
If Zach were here tonight, He would say, "thank you, Julia Peters, I want to marry you.
" There.
There, I said it.
Now the deal was I get to sit next to your mom in the front seat.
When she comes to pick us up, right? Change of plans my dad's picking us up.
Oh.
Oh.
I finally get to meet the competition.
- Eww! Get out! - But - Get out.
- But but we had a deal.
This is no way to treat your future stepfather.
- Get out! - You'll hear about this, young lady.
And now on to our next award, "best performance by Zach Feldman.
Showing hlove for Julia Peters.
" And the nominees are Zach Feldman in "outside his house" Leave me alone! Zach Feldman in "outside the grocery store.
" Leave me alone! And the winner is Ladies and gentlemen, a surprise appearance.
By Zach's former cleaning lady, oksana krovsky! Oh no.
No, not you, cuckoo girl! Not cuckoo girl.
This happening cannot be! Oh, you lose me job as Feldman's cleaning lady, You get me fired at school.
And I have to take job at hotel cleaning rooms! I told you when Zach and I get married You are crazy! There she is, security.
No no, I don't know how.
These tiny shampoos get in my bag! - I'm not here for you.
- Oh, you're here for cuckoo.
- Come on, let's go.
- Thank you for joining us.
At the first annual zachy awards! Looks like I'm getting a police escort.
- To the after-party! - After-party! After-party! - Move it.
Come on.
- See you next time on When he bails me out of the after-party! Oh, computer.
Oh, cuckoo marry Zach Feldman.
Coming up next on "so random!" - Janice, who are the girls? - They're my back-up singers.
My mom thought bringing them would help me get more tips.
this can't be true love this can't be true love so random! Janice, I am proud to welcome you to the hoaggie's family.
Here's your hat.
Oh, finally, I'll be taken seriously.
Uh, well, Your application was.
The most impressive out of the two we received Oh.
Although you didn't need to include your science fair trophy.
Oh, that's okay.
I have 30 more at home.
- Oh.
- That one's on the house.
she's a science fair queen and now she's ready to clean get to work.
- Janice, who are the girls? - They're my back-up singers.
My mom thought bringing them would help me get more tips.
Janice, This is a non-singing establishment.
Back-up singers are not allowed at hoaggie's.
- Oh.
- It may not be allowed that's why you got no crowd let us sing, more ka-ching in the the thing.
Yeah, more ka-ching.
Well, business has been kinda slow lately, So hey, welcome to the hoaggie's family.
I'll go get your hats.
Oh ho, thanks, Melvin.
And don't worry, they listen to me.
I'm kinda their boss.
in your dreams, girl we used to be in "dreamgirls" we listen to no one Except my mother.
because she pays us.
Hello, does anyone actually work here? Oh.
Sorry.
Hi, Paul.
Can I take your order? Yeah, me and my girlfriend Yeah, that's right, you heard correctly My girlfriend, we'll we'll split.
A hoaggie deluxe with a side of girly fries Curly friends whoa, girlfriend fries Did I mention I had a girlfriend? Hi, I'm Janice.
Paul hits me with a spitball every day.
- You're a very lucky girl.
- Oh, that reminds me.
Oh! - Paul, you crossed the line - What? - and is your girlfriend blind? - No.
when a guy is spitting-spitting, spitting-spitting spitting spitting spitting spitting spitballs at a girl it means he likes her more than you.
.
Wha oh oh.
What? No.
No no no no no no.
No, it doesn't.
that may be true but your girlfriend just left you it was worth it.
ooh.
Wait, come back! I wasn't done showing you off! Janice, did you just use the hoaggie's p.
A.
To insult a customer? No, it wasn't me, Melvin.
It was my back-up singers.
- Huh? - Well, they're not getting hats, okay? And Janice, you're fired.
Turn in your hat.
Great.
Without my paper hat, I'll never be taken seriously.
sorry we got you fired five minutes after you were hired our bad, we're sad for you see you at home.
Oh.
All right, give me all the money in the cash register! - Hurry it up! - No sir, I will not.
I may have lost my job and my hat, But I have not lost my sense of right and wrong.
Well, you just lost your tips.
No! Oh! now you've gone too far, you took Janice's jar so we're kicking, stomping - kicking - Stomping - stomping.
- Kicking dancing on the bad guy's legs so he can't flee with the money! .
What? Janice, you singlehandedly stopped the thief.
I'm giving you your hat back.
Oh! And a raise? - Nope, just the hat.
- Oh.
I'll take it.
Good for you, Janice.
Earl? - Oh.
- Well, I'm afraid so, Janice.
See, after I messed up our second date, I turned to a life of crime.
I've just been lost without you.
Earl, I don't know what to say.
Well, time for me to face the music, Take me punishment.
Promise me you'll wait for me until I get out of the pokey.
I'll wait for you, Earl.
Oh here, take my hat to remember me.
- Oh, here's your money.
- Thank you.
we'll take him to jail, no money for bail so you'll be waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting waiting five to 10, three with good behavior.
.
Good behavior? How does that work? I have a boyfriend.
Welcome to hoaggie's.
Did I mention.
That I have a boyfriend? Oh, bye.
I got a boyfriend! Coming up next on "so random!" Introducing serious bands.
Look.
something that you said took my heart away now get out of my head leave, just go away "so random! Did I show you this one? It's in the shape of Selena Gomez's microphone.
Cool! And look, it glows in the dark.
Silly! - It's so silly! I love silliness.
- Silly! Ahe-he-hem! Are you kids tired.
Of wearing those silly things around your wrists? No, we love them! Sounds like you're ready for a change.
No.
Introducing serious bands.
Look.
We're not interested, anyway.
I'm glad you brought up colors.
Um, okay, what kind of fun colors do they come in? Fun colors? You mean like good-time green or jazzy purple? - Yeah! - No.
They only come in five very serious colors Taupe, gray, brown, beige and blah.
- Ecch! - "Ecch" was not serious enough.
Oh.
Well, do they at least change into lots of cool shapes? You mean like a twinkly star or a prancing unicorn? - Yeah! - No, they do not.
- Oh.
- They only change into three very serious shapes Okay, enough.
You couldn't pay us to wear those.
I'm glad you brought up pricing.
Each serious band costs.
The very serious sum of $100.
- What?! - Who is ever gonna be interested this? Excuse me, sir.
I'm very interested in your product.
I believe it speaks to my core beliefs and values.
I'm sorry.
I don't believe you're right for this product.
Serious bands don't collect, trade.
Or wear them today.
- Seriously? - No, I'm just kidding with you.
Wait, seriously? Yes, I'm serious.
- shake that, shake that all around! - Come on! Give it up for destinee and Paris! we were like one, you and I yeah we were perfect thought we could fly we used to laugh for you I'd die stuck in a fairytale I need to come alive I'm feeling stupid.
I saw the signs and now I stand here with watered eyes we were like one, you and I I can't believe it, I lived a lie but something that you said took my heart away now get out of my head leave, just go away this can't be true love this can't be true love we can't take it back time to let it go no more holding on oh, you got to know this can't be true love this can't be true love I was your Bonnie, you were my Clyde we were inseparable, you had me hide this song kept playing, you wouldn't stop the party's over, I think I've had enough - I'm feeling stupid.
- I shoulda known - and now I'm standing here.
- All alone what ever happened to you and I? I can't believe it, I lived a lie but something that you said took my heart away now get out of my head leave, just go away this can't be true love this can't be true love - ladies, can you hear me? - This can't be love! - all my fellas, can you feel me? - This can't be love! - if you're feeling kind of empty - This can't be love! - scream it loud and sing it with me! - This can't be love! - now something that you said - Yeah, yeah took my heart away now get out of my head leave, just go away this can't be true love this can't be true love - we can't take it back - Oh time to let it go no more holding on oh, you gotta know this can't be true love this can't be true love oh this can't be true love.
.
You were so good.

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