SpongeBob SquarePants s01e17 Episode Script
Squeaky Boots
1 KRABS ( singing ): Ar, argh Pearl's my daughter, I'll spit in your eye Yo, ho, Pearl's a whale, and it's her birthday Ya, ya, yar.
Ta-dah! Thanks for the show, Dad.
Now can we open the presents? Oh, all right.
Presents for me darling little sardine.
Here you are.
Oh, you shouldn't have.
What is it, Daddy? It wouldn't be those totally hip new flipper slippers all my friends are wearing, would it? Everyone wants them.
Uh uh it might be.
Whee! Oh, you shouldn't have! Yay, you shouldn't have! ( angrily ): I mean, Dad, you really shouldn't have.
( friends laughing ) Pearl, those are the finest fishing boots available.
Dad, you ruined me.
( wailing ) But I got them for a bargain.
( Pearl wailing ) Oh, what am I going to do? I spent two whole dollars on these boots, and now I'm stuck with them.
Oh, uh, Mr.
Krabs, can I get my paycheck? Spongeboy-me-Bob! Come in, come in, right this way, laddie.
Have a seat anywhere, but not on these beautiful, priceless boots.
So, you want to get paid.
Uh, sir, I can't see you.
The boots are in the way.
In the way? These boots never leave my sight.
They're the most expensive and prized possessions I own.
Wow, really? Why is that? They look just like any old ordinary boots.
Ordinary boots?! These are the only official fry cook boots.
Only the finest fry cooks in the world are permitted to wear them-- part of a tradition.
And these boots were given to me by the most famous fry cook in the sea.
Who's that? Uh uh ah well, his name is not important, but he was famous all right, don't you worry.
I'm ready, I'm ready, I want those boots! Sorry, son, these boots are far too valuable.
Hmm I know.
What if I give you my Krusty Krab paycheck? Well uh paycheck! You got a deal! And what if I paint the Krusty Krab for free? You got a deal! And I'll throw in a year's supply of French fry oil.
You got Hold on there, lad.
You're going to give me a heart attack.
Whoa you got yourself a deal.
( blowing ) ( squeaking ) ( squeaking continues ) Uh Hey, Squidward ( boots squeaking ) Do you like my new boots? Pretty cool, huh? Now I'm an official fry cook.
Uh ( boots squeaking ) ( groaning ) That squeaking is going to drive us all crazy! Nonsense, Squidward.
That squeaking is money to my ears I mean music.
( crickets chirping ) Argh money, money, money, money, money.
Ten, 20, 30, 40 ( squeaking ) Wha who's there? ( chuckles ) Back to counting me money.
( register dings ) One, two, three, four, five ( squeaking ) What the barnacle is that, huh? ( hinge squeaks ) Argh ( cries out ) ( yelling ) ( splashes, grunts ) ( footsteps approaching ) Argh oop Careful.
( grunts ) ( grunting ) ( sighs ) ( grunts ) ( yawning ) ( cries out ) ( yelling ) ( squeaks ) ( moaning, hinge squeaking ) Argh that was the worst night I ever weathered.
At least I'll have some peace and quiet at work.
Oof! That's it, Mr.
Krabs.
I'm taking my vacation now.
What's wrong, Mr.
Squidward? I can't take the world's greatest fry cook anymore! I'll see you in a week.
That fry cook's making me a fortune.
What could be the problem? Hey, Mr.
Krabs.
SpongeBob Bob.
.
Bob Bob ( squeaking ) Bob Bob Bob ( boots squeaking loudly ) I, uh, see you're still wearing them boots.
Are you kidding? I love them! Could the world's greatest fry cook do this? ( squeaking ) Well, uh, I don't, uh I don't, uh Or could he do this? Or this? And watch this, Mr.
Krabs.
BOOTS ( squeaking ): Can I take your order? Yeah, I'll have the Krusty special.
BOOTS ( squeaking ): Thank you, sir.
I will squeak when it's ready.
Could the greatest fry cook do that, Mr.
Krabs? I, uh And look at this, Mr.
Krabs.
And this.
And this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this ( screaming ) I got to go to my office! ( boots continue squeaking ) I can still hear it! ( squeaking continues ) It's still coming through! The infernal squeak! Those boots have got to go! And I need an aspirin.
SPONGEBOB: Gary, these boots have changed my life.
I'm never taking them off.
( meows ) Good night, Gary.
( squeaking ) ( snoring and tooting ) ( snoring squeakily ) ( laughing ): Ar, ar, ar, ar, ar, ar ( hammering ) ( rooster crows ) KRABS: Ah quiet, money.
( sniffs ) Silence and money.
( door opens ) Mr.
Krabs! What is it, my boy? ( quavering ): Oh, Mr.
Krabs, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm sorry.
It's okay, son.
( wailing ) No, it's not okay! I lost the boots, your valuable boots.
It's my fault.
I let you down! ( bawling ): Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry ooh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Hold it, boy, it's not the end of the world.
Yes, it is.
Look, don't cry.
I've got some, uh some magic oven mitts.
( pop ) ( pop ) They're not the same! You were right-- I wasn't ready for those blessed boots.
( thud ) Poor lad.
( sizzling ) Excuse me.
I didn't do it! Oh ( chuckles nervously ) Can I help you? Yeah, I'm ready to order.
What'll you have? I'll take a ( squeaks ).
What did you say? I said I'll take a ( squeaks ).
Huh?! I heard his order, Mr.
Krabs.
He said he wants ( squeaks ).
Wha? And a ( squeaks ) ( squeaking ) ( gasps ) ( squeaking ) What?! ( squeaking ) ( gasps ) ( ticking squeakily ) What?! ( squeaking ) I didn't write that! ( squeaking getting louder ) ( thunder crashes ) ( squeaking ) ( gasps ) ( squeaking ) Who said that? What?! ( thunder crashes ) SPONGEBOB: Could the world's greatest fry cook do this? And this and this and this and this and this and this? Stop it! Stop it! Oh! Oh! Don't you hear it?! KRABS: Yes, I did it! I did it! I took the boots! They're here under the floorboard! Oh, please, make it stop! It's the squeaking of the hideous boots! ( bawling ) I'm sorry, but I can't take the infernal squeaking no more! ( belches ) The deed is done.
Um why did you eat my boots, Mr.
Krabs? Because, lad, you didn't need them.
It's not the boots, it's the bootee.
Er, er I mean, the person in the boots.
You're a great fry cook.
You really think so, Mr.
Krabs? I do, son.
Here's your paycheck I owe you plus a bonus.
Well, there's your paycheck anyway.
I need a vacation.
Bye, Mr.
Krabs.
KRABS: Ah a long week away from Bikini Bottom is exactly what I need.
Just me and my darling daughter, Pearl.
Oh, don't forget my new flipper slippers, Daddy.
Darling, I won't.
( laughing ): Ar, ar, ar, ar, ar ( hiccups, squeaks ) Oh, no! ( hiccuping, squeaking )
Ta-dah! Thanks for the show, Dad.
Now can we open the presents? Oh, all right.
Presents for me darling little sardine.
Here you are.
Oh, you shouldn't have.
What is it, Daddy? It wouldn't be those totally hip new flipper slippers all my friends are wearing, would it? Everyone wants them.
Uh uh it might be.
Whee! Oh, you shouldn't have! Yay, you shouldn't have! ( angrily ): I mean, Dad, you really shouldn't have.
( friends laughing ) Pearl, those are the finest fishing boots available.
Dad, you ruined me.
( wailing ) But I got them for a bargain.
( Pearl wailing ) Oh, what am I going to do? I spent two whole dollars on these boots, and now I'm stuck with them.
Oh, uh, Mr.
Krabs, can I get my paycheck? Spongeboy-me-Bob! Come in, come in, right this way, laddie.
Have a seat anywhere, but not on these beautiful, priceless boots.
So, you want to get paid.
Uh, sir, I can't see you.
The boots are in the way.
In the way? These boots never leave my sight.
They're the most expensive and prized possessions I own.
Wow, really? Why is that? They look just like any old ordinary boots.
Ordinary boots?! These are the only official fry cook boots.
Only the finest fry cooks in the world are permitted to wear them-- part of a tradition.
And these boots were given to me by the most famous fry cook in the sea.
Who's that? Uh uh ah well, his name is not important, but he was famous all right, don't you worry.
I'm ready, I'm ready, I want those boots! Sorry, son, these boots are far too valuable.
Hmm I know.
What if I give you my Krusty Krab paycheck? Well uh paycheck! You got a deal! And what if I paint the Krusty Krab for free? You got a deal! And I'll throw in a year's supply of French fry oil.
You got Hold on there, lad.
You're going to give me a heart attack.
Whoa you got yourself a deal.
( blowing ) ( squeaking ) ( squeaking continues ) Uh Hey, Squidward ( boots squeaking ) Do you like my new boots? Pretty cool, huh? Now I'm an official fry cook.
Uh ( boots squeaking ) ( groaning ) That squeaking is going to drive us all crazy! Nonsense, Squidward.
That squeaking is money to my ears I mean music.
( crickets chirping ) Argh money, money, money, money, money.
Ten, 20, 30, 40 ( squeaking ) Wha who's there? ( chuckles ) Back to counting me money.
( register dings ) One, two, three, four, five ( squeaking ) What the barnacle is that, huh? ( hinge squeaks ) Argh ( cries out ) ( yelling ) ( splashes, grunts ) ( footsteps approaching ) Argh oop Careful.
( grunts ) ( grunting ) ( sighs ) ( grunts ) ( yawning ) ( cries out ) ( yelling ) ( squeaks ) ( moaning, hinge squeaking ) Argh that was the worst night I ever weathered.
At least I'll have some peace and quiet at work.
Oof! That's it, Mr.
Krabs.
I'm taking my vacation now.
What's wrong, Mr.
Squidward? I can't take the world's greatest fry cook anymore! I'll see you in a week.
That fry cook's making me a fortune.
What could be the problem? Hey, Mr.
Krabs.
SpongeBob Bob.
.
Bob Bob ( squeaking ) Bob Bob Bob ( boots squeaking loudly ) I, uh, see you're still wearing them boots.
Are you kidding? I love them! Could the world's greatest fry cook do this? ( squeaking ) Well, uh, I don't, uh I don't, uh Or could he do this? Or this? And watch this, Mr.
Krabs.
BOOTS ( squeaking ): Can I take your order? Yeah, I'll have the Krusty special.
BOOTS ( squeaking ): Thank you, sir.
I will squeak when it's ready.
Could the greatest fry cook do that, Mr.
Krabs? I, uh And look at this, Mr.
Krabs.
And this.
And this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this ( screaming ) I got to go to my office! ( boots continue squeaking ) I can still hear it! ( squeaking continues ) It's still coming through! The infernal squeak! Those boots have got to go! And I need an aspirin.
SPONGEBOB: Gary, these boots have changed my life.
I'm never taking them off.
( meows ) Good night, Gary.
( squeaking ) ( snoring and tooting ) ( snoring squeakily ) ( laughing ): Ar, ar, ar, ar, ar, ar ( hammering ) ( rooster crows ) KRABS: Ah quiet, money.
( sniffs ) Silence and money.
( door opens ) Mr.
Krabs! What is it, my boy? ( quavering ): Oh, Mr.
Krabs, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm sorry.
It's okay, son.
( wailing ) No, it's not okay! I lost the boots, your valuable boots.
It's my fault.
I let you down! ( bawling ): Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry ooh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
Hold it, boy, it's not the end of the world.
Yes, it is.
Look, don't cry.
I've got some, uh some magic oven mitts.
( pop ) ( pop ) They're not the same! You were right-- I wasn't ready for those blessed boots.
( thud ) Poor lad.
( sizzling ) Excuse me.
I didn't do it! Oh ( chuckles nervously ) Can I help you? Yeah, I'm ready to order.
What'll you have? I'll take a ( squeaks ).
What did you say? I said I'll take a ( squeaks ).
Huh?! I heard his order, Mr.
Krabs.
He said he wants ( squeaks ).
Wha? And a ( squeaks ) ( squeaking ) ( gasps ) ( squeaking ) What?! ( squeaking ) ( gasps ) ( ticking squeakily ) What?! ( squeaking ) I didn't write that! ( squeaking getting louder ) ( thunder crashes ) ( squeaking ) ( gasps ) ( squeaking ) Who said that? What?! ( thunder crashes ) SPONGEBOB: Could the world's greatest fry cook do this? And this and this and this and this and this and this? Stop it! Stop it! Oh! Oh! Don't you hear it?! KRABS: Yes, I did it! I did it! I took the boots! They're here under the floorboard! Oh, please, make it stop! It's the squeaking of the hideous boots! ( bawling ) I'm sorry, but I can't take the infernal squeaking no more! ( belches ) The deed is done.
Um why did you eat my boots, Mr.
Krabs? Because, lad, you didn't need them.
It's not the boots, it's the bootee.
Er, er I mean, the person in the boots.
You're a great fry cook.
You really think so, Mr.
Krabs? I do, son.
Here's your paycheck I owe you plus a bonus.
Well, there's your paycheck anyway.
I need a vacation.
Bye, Mr.
Krabs.
KRABS: Ah a long week away from Bikini Bottom is exactly what I need.
Just me and my darling daughter, Pearl.
Oh, don't forget my new flipper slippers, Daddy.
Darling, I won't.
( laughing ): Ar, ar, ar, ar, ar ( hiccups, squeaks ) Oh, no! ( hiccuping, squeaking )