Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s01e09 Episode Script

Freeze Day; Royal Pain

1 [title music plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension It's gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time! I ain't from round here I'm from another whoo-hoo! Yea-ah! I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh- puh-puh-pu-uuhh! It's gonna get a little weird gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension! Eh.
Ugh.
Uh.
Eh.
Oh.
Ah! Cacti for the win! [puppies yipping.]
Ah! Out of the way! I overslept.
I'm gonna be late.
[lasers firing.]
- Ah, where's my hoodie? - Whoa, chill, Marco.
We can still get to school by first period.
This isn't about learning.
This is about love.
MARCO: Every day, I get there by 7:55, because at exactly 7:56, Jackie Lynn Thomas gets there.
And we share a nod.
It's kind of our thing.
[sighs.]
Aww.
Wait, a nod? - You don't even say hi? - I'm working up to that.
See, it's all a part of my 23-step plan.
I'm already on step 4: Nodding every day.
- Hmm.
[lasers firing.]
- Hey! Down, boy.
Bad laser puppy.
It's 7:54! I can't make it.
Can't you just, uh, uh, magically stop time or something? [laughs.]
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Easy peasy time freezie.
[clock ticking.]
[yipping in slo-mo.]
[singing in slo-mo.]
Ow! - Do you know what you just did? - Uh, froze time? You froze time! Now I can get to school and nod at Jackie.
Hurry! School? But it's a # freeze-day! # [laughs.]
Whoo-hoo! [both laughing.]
- Mmm! - Mmm! Yee-hee! [laughing.]
MARCO [laughing.]
: That was the funnest 60 hours of my life! Oh, hey, there's frozen Jackie! I better get into optimal nod position.
- Ready.
- Or, maybe, now's the time to move on to the next step of your crazy plan.
You could # talk to her # The The The wind isn't right.
I've got a pimple coming in.
- Uh, I'll just do the nod today.
- Okay.
Easy peasy time unfreezie! - Huh.
- Easy peasy time unfreezie! - Ooh.
- Come on, Star.
What's going on? Star? Star? Not you too.
[laughs.]
I'm just messin' with ya.
[grunts.]
Okay, Magic Instruction Book, instruct me.
Oh, no, Glossaryck is frozen too.
Good.
I never liked that guy.
Scrape the sides, buddy.
Okay, let's see, let's see.
What to do if you make a dimension explode.
What to do if you delete gravity.
- Oh.
- Don't get any ideas.
Heh-heh.
Sorry.
Ah! What to do if you freeze time.
We can move time forward if we go to the planes of time and push the wheel of progress.
Whoa.
This is definitely one of the weirder places we've been to.
Weirder than that dimension of cats with human faces? Here, kitty, kitty! [demonic voice.]
Look away! [shivering.]
Look! That must be it.
- Whoa.
- Looks like a giant hamster wheel.
- Now, how do we start this thing? - Hmm.
I got this.
[grunting.]
New plan.
Rainbow Raccoon Rotation.
Hmm.
Magic won't work on that.
You got to use the magic of toesies.
Who are you? I'm Father Time.
And this is Rocksworth.
He's a rock, but don't bring it up, he's kind of sensitive about it.
[makes motorboat sounds.]
Father Time? So you must push this thing.
Hey, look! I'm over here.
And now, I'm over here! [laughs.]
And how long were you on the wheel? Oh, you know, forever.
Until someone cast a freeze spell and knocked me off of it.
- What is that? - Uh, mud? Oh, it's glorious! I love mud.
[gags.]
So, Mr.
Time, how would you feel about getting the universe started up again? - Oh, where has this been all of my life? - Ah, look, look, look.
- You can play with mud on your wheel.
- Huh? Huh? - Well, that is an enticing offer, but nah.
- Arrghh! Oh! There's some mud that's a slightly different color.
And there's a twig, and there's a bush, and I don't know what that thing is, but it's waddling.
[panting.]
Wait! You can't just leave time stopped! Whoo! But without time, rainbows can't shoot across the sky, glitter can't glitter! And everyone we know will be frozen forever! What's this? Ooh! [laughing.]
YOLO! [laughs.]
Anything's possible.
Yah! Whoo-hoo! [clock ticking.]
I hate this dimension.
[laughs.]
Whoo! Oh! [laughs.]
Oh, my hearts.
Not a word.
[chuckles.]
I think he went in there.
Wow.
It's the history of the whole universe.
Ooh! Battle of Lexington.
Nailed it.
[gasps.]
It It's me! Oh, I remember that! [chuckling.]
Watching me is fun.
Oh! Hi, me! This place must keep track of everything we've done in our lives.
Wow.
I've been nodding for a long time.
FATHER TIME: Hey, guys! Isn't this place incredible? - It's like we're living in the future.
- Father Time! Emerald Snake Strike! Great.
I think we got him.
Yuck.
Okay, buddy, let's get you back to your wheel.
[gasps.]
[clock ticking.]
Ahh, all right.
I guess I'll get back to doing that.
Oh, well, it's only for all eternity.
[sighs.]
We can't just make him.
Maybe there's some other way to turn that giant wheel.
[chittering.]
Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? Actually, I was thinking we'd Never mind, it works.
Now you can go anywhere you want, and keep the wheel moving! Aww, thanks, guys.
I owe ya.
Please, help yourself to any of my mud.
- Even the nice stuff.
- We're good.
Oh, and maybe don't freeze time again.
It's kind of fragile.
You don't want to break it.
Know what I mean? Well, so long! [laughs.]
Time hamsters away! Yoo-hoo! Wait, the wheel's moving.
TOGETHER: We've got to get back! [clock ticking.]
[puppies yipping.]
[singing.]
- Whoa! - Aaaah! - Hey, Jackie.
- Hey, Marco.
Well, see ya.
You did it! You finally talked to her! What happened to waiting for the perfect time? Well, all of a sudden, I thought, if you have the time, why waste it? Looks like I'm finally [slow-mo.]
getting somewhere [laughs.]
You guys really get me! [yawning.]
- STAR: Morning, Marco! - Hey.
Aaaah! Whoaah! [Marco screaming.]
[laughing.]
Whooo! - Oh, that was awesome! - I know, right? Stairs are so boring.
[chuckles.]
I hope my parents don't flip when they see this.
MAN: I'm flipping! - Dad! - Relax, son.
This is like the perfect getaway without actually getting away.
[laughing.]
Oh, boy! [dolphin chattering.]
[laughing.]
I love living here! If my parents found out I've been using magic for stuff like this How about that? This was cool, but next time, maybe a little heads-up? Okay? Wet socks are a form of torture in some countries.
[doorbell ringing.]
I'll get it! [blows horn.]
Oh, hey, Dad.
Dad?! - Hello - Oh, no! I need to hide everything.
[foghorn blaring.]
What a pleasant surprise.
[fake laugh.]
What brings you here unexpectedly? Well, I was in the neighborhood and Agh.
Who am I kidding? You mother has banished me from the castle.
- What did you do? - Nothing! I just left a garment or two laying around.
I thought perhaps, I could stay here for a day while this blows over.
Of course you can stay here.
You are familia.
You can watch the kids while me and the wifey actually get away.
Hasta mañana.
Ah, good show! Huh? Oh, hello Aaah! [yipping.]
Star, if you mother was here and knew you were using your wand inappropriately, she would send you straight to St.
Olga's.
But I'm not your mother! I rather enjoy destructive magical puppies.
This visit is actually gonna be fun then! TOGETHER: Father-Daughter Day! Tour time! Hey, guys, hold up.
I'm gonna go change my socks.
Ugh, it's like I'm walking in pudding.
- Check out my room.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! [creatures giggling.]
Get him! Get him! - Gut him like a fish! - I got 20 bucks on Teddy! ALL: Hi, Star! - I'm Kevin.
I'm new.
- Magnificent! If you like this, let me show you the most magical room in the whole house.
The bathroom! [gasping, grunting.]
What a glorious throne! Why does it have a hole? Um, humans put things in there and flush 'em down.
Flush? What's a flush? [water flushing.]
My word, where does the water go? Nobody knows! It's one of Earth's greatest mysteries.
- Does this go in it? - All the time.
[flushing.]
[gasps.]
[huffing, puffing.]
- This? - I don't see why not.
[flushing.]
- This? - Go for it.
- DAD: This? - STAR: Go ahead! What are they doing in there? - [laughing.]
This? - Do it.
[flushing.]
[growling.]
Hey, Marco.
DAD: Love the bathroom! Thanks.
What's next on the itinerary for the d Ohh-ohh-ohhhh! Marco taught me how to play this.
You are absolutely gonna love it.
The goal is to knock this tiny moon into that hole.
[laughs.]
What fun! You're holding your club upside-down.
This is a club? There's one thing we got better on Mewni.
Tally-ho! [laughs.]
How's that for getting it into the hole? What's that? [music box plays.]
That's the Candy Castle.
The next hole.
Lord Salivary of the Weebler elf clan.
You sly dog! [roars.]
What? [laughs.]
Mommy, why is Santa doing that? Dad! I'll teach you to give my wife the googly eye! Dad, stop it! [people screaming.]
[Dad laughs.]
The ball's in your court, Salivary! [moaning.]
[sniffing.]
[screaming.]
Gross, gross, gross, gross, gross! Ew.
What was that? [commotion.]
- Aaaah! - Aaaaah! [grunting, laughter.]
Dad, what are you doing? [laughs.]
Hello, darling! - It's the middle of the night.
- Ah, the perfect time for a tussle.
- Isn't that right, clowney? - The name is Kevin, old man! Arrr! - Give it up, clown! - Bring the pain! I can do this all night.
[laughs.]
CLOWN: Chicky-wink.
Good morning, Star.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
It was ridiculously loud last night.
It wasn't me, Oscar.
It was my dad.
He's insane! He just thinks he can come down to Earth and do whatever he wants.
He is so inconsiderate.
Huh.
I can weirdly relate.
- What do you mean? - Doesn't that sound familiar? Yeah - he does this to my mom.
- Never mind.
Well, I'm just glad he's leaving today.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
- Hello, Star.
- Dad, what are you doing? I'm hanging lights for the party.
- What party? - Oh, jeez! I forgot to tell you.
I'm having such a great time here, I've decided to stay.
- Isn't that great? - Greeeeeat.
Oh, and in celebration of moving here, I've invited some friends to check out my new digs.
[doorbell ringing.]
They're here.
[party chatter.]
Chew, chew, chew, chew, chew! [giggling.]
Don't wake him up, man.
We'll see if Salivary recovers from this one.
[laughing.]
Dad, I really need to talk to you right now.
HELIOS: Hey, guys! Well, here I am! Yeah! Now the party can start.
[laughs.]
Ooh, tight squeeze.
My bad.
Oh, no.
Who invited Helios? That guy is the worst.
Gross! Now he got his ear pierced? There he goes, eating all the appetizers.
He ruins every party and is completely oblivious about it.
Funny.
I can weirdly relate.
Look, people are already going into orbit around him.
No, no, no! Please, somebody! His gravitational pull So why don't you just kick him out? Along with everyone else? No way.
I'm not talking to that tool.
Ugh! Uh, hey, guys.
Are those water balloo Whoa! Punch.
Punch.
Punch.
No, no, no, no, no.
Whoah! Your feet are so soft.
Aaaah! No-o-o! Whoo! Everybody, dancing really sure works up my appe Ohh, dessert! Excuse me, I think you've overstayed your welcome - and you gotta go.
- Well, you wanna know something? I may be filled with hydrogen, but you're filled with annoy-ogen.
You just got burned by the sun! [laughing.]
Whoa! MARCO: I don't ask for much.
Just a pair of dry socks, that's all.
It's like I'm mushing bananas between my toes.
Marco, I am so sorry that every time I tried to have some fun, I ended up soaking your socks.
Look, I love all the fun things you want to do, just a little heads-up would be nice.
There's really nothing worse than wet socks.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah! "Nothing worse than wet socks.
" [laughing.]
I'm still hungry, but there's no more food.
I guess I'll just have to eat the whole planet! [all gasp.]
It's time to purge this party.
[groaning.]
- Oh, no! - Hey, two pairs of wet socks! I'm outta here.
Because I'm ridiculously apathetic to the suffering of others, I'm leaving too.
Gentlemen, gentlemen! Wow.
I really made a mess of things.
There's no way I'm poopin' out on this party.
Ah-choo! Um, sweetheart, I perhaps got a little carried away.
And I may have been a little inconsiderate.
I guess that's why your mother threw me out in the first place.
I'm sorry, you guys.
- And you'll patch things up with Mom? - Definitely.
- Hugs! - Hugs! What are you gonna do with Helios? Ooh, after party! Where we gonna go? I have no idea, but I'll give you a ride! [laughs.]
Tally-ho! [Helios screaming.]
Hole in one! [laughs.]
I'll send my top serfs here to make everything better than new.
Farewell.
- Bye, Dad.
- Bye.
Whew.
From now on, I'll always give you a heads-up.
Thanks, but a surprise is good every once in a while.
- Wouldn't you agree? - Ah! [laughing.]
[music.]
I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends you haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home
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