Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s03e03 Episode Script

The Battle for Mewni (parts 5, 6) - Puddle Defender; King Ludo

1 [" I'm from Another Dimension" by Brad Breeck plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension Gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time I ain't from 'round here I'm from another woo-hoo Yeh-heah I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa Paaa It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from 'round here I'm from another dimension [song ends.]
[Beeping.]
[snoring.]
Huh? What is going on? - Star, wake up.
- Marco, we're late for school.
- I'm not Marco.
- Where am I? Oh.
Oh, no.
The High Commission.
Leave it.
There's no time.
[Music.]
There's no way out.
W-What are you doing? Escape route blast! - Magic is not supposed to do that.
- I'm not sure what that was.
But my magic's gone.
- Rats.
- It will be okay.
No, rats.
We gotta hide.
- Narwhal - Star, no.
- Mom, you can't take my wand! - It was mine first.
No more magic until we find a way to stop this.
I've got an idea.
Let's go destroy Toffee.
Come on, Mom, let's just go! - Let's go kill him.
- Star, no.
Well, then, what's the plan, Mom? - 'Cause I ain't seein' one.
- Oh, Star.
I don't have a plan.
I'm just trying to keep you safe, okay? Okay.
Well, we can't stay out here.
- It's creepy.
- We need another hiding place.
Ribbit.
- Ribbit.
- [Gasps.]
Ribbit.
I think I have an idea where we can go.
But you have to trust me.
[Gasps.]
- Buffrog! - Star Butterfly! Oh, my little sweet potato.
It's been too long.
QUEEN MOON: Ahem.
Oh, Queen Moon.
[chuckles.]
Greetings.
Mom, this is Yvgeny Bulgoyaboff.
Uh, no no.
Please, call me Buffrog.
- He used to work for Ludo, but he's cool now.
- What?! Hey, Buffrog, can we crash with you for a night? Of course.
I owe you for all that tadpole-sitting.
Star, can I speak with you? We cannot stay with him.
He's a monster! Mom, get with the times.
Not all monsters are bad.
[Twig snaps.]
What was that? Well it seems we have no other choice.
Uh, welcome to my - home.
- Boop.
[Gasps.]
You're in luck.
It's rainy season.
Ah, so good for the skin.
Oh, uh, no shoes in house.
I am, how you say, germophobe.
Oh, I feel so free.
- Buffrog, wonderful home.
- Oh, thank you.
Is a bit of a mess right now.
Please take a seat.
Oh! Are those slugs? Slugs keep furniture clean.
- I thought everyone knew that.
- I-I'll stand.
Yo, Buffrog, where them babies at? - Oh, I just put them down for nap - Babies! [laughing.]
Oh, I missed you little baby faces so much.
[Gasps.]
Oh, my gosh, you have little baby arms! Yes, all except little Katrina.
She is late bloomer.
Oh, you little special snowflake.
Babies, say hello to Queen Butterfly.
That really isn't [grunts.]
[all ribbiting.]
- Star, I have been so worried about you.
- Why? I'm good.
Well, when Ludo took your castle, I thought, you know [makes slicing sound.]
Whoa, w-w-wait.
Toffee has our castle? Toffee is dead.
Ludo in castle.
Ugh! Toffee not dead.
Toffee inside Ludo.
Oh, I see.
So creepy.
Papa! Dad's still in the castle! - We have to go save him! - No.
[Gasps.]
He is your husband! Star, I've made my decision.
We stay here.
Excuse me.
Where is your wash room? - Uh, "wash room?" - Yes.
I'd like to freshen up a bit.
She needs to make boom-boom.
- Oh! The "wash room" is out back.
- Thank you.
I'm sorry.
My mom's got monster issues.
Yes, I'm getting certain vibe from her.
Yeah, we all are.
But Buffrog, I came here for a favor.
Of course.
Anything for you.
I need you to hang out with my mom.
I need you to keep her busy while I go find Toffee.
Star, Toffee is very dangerous.
Do you have plan? - I have plan.
- You have plan? I have plan.
Okay.
When Moon returns, I will distract her.
- Distract me from what? - Uh, from this.
I didn't want you to see it.
- Bad choices in past.
- Oh.
Thank you.
So what do you monsters do for entertainment? Uh, we could smash bugs.
- We could play board game.
- Great idea, Buffrog! And I will hang out with the babies in their room.
- Your daughter is very strange.
- Thank you.
We have many option of board game.
[Reading titles.]
Oh, Monster Conquerors, Castle Crushers, Kill the Queen, Mewman Versus Monster, - or my favorite, Puddle Defender.
- Mmm, interesting.
I like babushka monster.
I don't know why, but I'm drawn to this one.
Okay, the rules of Puddle Defender are, uh Um the rules are - Yes? - Uh, rules are simple.
The evil bloodthirsty Mewman, that's you, must try and sneak past watchful Monster parent, that's me.
Break into daycare, explode helpless monster babies, - and turn them into stew for eating.
- [Gasps.]
That is horrible! [Snapping sound.]
Hey, here is dice! You roll first.
QUEEN MOON: Seven.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
"You are filthy Mewman.
" Use teeth-sharpening spell "for better eating of monster babies.
" Really? Is this fun? Who will get to daycare first? Suspense is killing me.
"Congratulations.
" Oh.
"You set a Mewman camp on fire.
- Collect four corn pieces from bank.
" - Hm.
Come on.
Oh, you land in mud puddle! You get nothing.
- Tough break.
- Hm.
This game seems a tad biased.
Really? I never noticed.
Yay! I get more corn.
[Coughing.]
- Did you hear something? - I hear nothing.
You know, it's monsters that eat Mewman babies.
Oh, really? Can you name a time when monsters - have ever done such a thing? - Well, no, but when I was a child, we played a game called Castle Defender, about Mewmans protecting our babies from ravenous monsters.
That idea had to come from somewhere.
Hmph.
Because it was in a children's board game? I just think that monsters would have less of a reputation if they didn't act so bloodthirsty all the time.
Monsters only act that way to protect their babies from Mewmans.
You may not understand, but monsters will do anything for our children.
Don't talk to me about what I'm willing to do.
Why do you think I'm here in this swamp? To protect Star from Toffee! Don't you think I'm worried to death about my husband? But I have to keep my child safe at all costs! Something you probably wouldn't understand, because you're a monster! [clatter.]
You insult me, Queen Moon.
My buffbabies, they are my life.
And that is why, Star Butterfly - I will not help you escape.
- Star! - Buffrog! - Star will be safe here.
- Keeps babies in, and dangers out.
- I should have realized.
But of course.
You're a parent, too.
I can't believe you're taking her side.
BOTH: Go to your room! [groans.]
[Door slams.]
Kids.
Scared ol' mama.
Two-timing Buffrog.
What's their plan, huh? Just avoid your problems to death.
Great plan! It's a terrible plan.
I've got plans.
I've got big plans.
But no, they stuck me in here! We can help you.
Not now.
I'm thinking Who said that? - It was me, Katrina.
- [gasps.]
You guys can talk?! Just me so far.
I haven't told my dad yet.
There's something else I haven't told him.
[gasps.]
Holy moley! Sometimes we gotta sneak out to the club - and go dancing.
- I feel ya, girl.
All clear.
Wow.
We made it.
- So what's the big plan? - What plan? - The plan for beating Toffee? - Oh, right.
[chuckles.]
- I don't have one.
- What? Yeah, planning's not really my thing.
I kinda just go for it.
That is a terrible plan! Oh, my precious little ribbit babies.
Don't you worry.
- I'm very worried.
- I'll see you after I destroy Toffee.
[music.]
Hm.
She's gonna die.
Get it out, all of it! That too.
That too! This is my castle.
I don't want to see a single Butterfly face.
Move it! Hmm.
Wait, wait, wait.
W-What am I looking at here? [screams.]
No Butterflies! Get that out of here.
Is that the last of it? And with that, everything in my kingdom is in order.
Corncobs here.
Get your corncobs.
No, no, not again! Aah! [sobbing.]
These rats have eaten me out of house and home.
Right, they will do that.
Okay, a few kinks to work out, but overall, the citizens of Mewni love me.
Hey, merch vendor, how are the King Ludo T-shirts selling? Very, very very not good.
- Not good at all, Your Majesty.
- What about the masks? Those especially.
Here, I'll show you.
Greetings, young man.
Might I interest you in a King Ludo mask? [Shrieking.]
Run, baby, run! - Maybe it's the beard.
- No, my lord, they just don't like you.
- Oh, honey, look at all that great stuff.
- Wow, we should load up.
- Finally, someone with taste.
- Oh.
Let me just This will look great in our foyer.
- How much for this handsome fella? - Oh, well It's not for sale! Come on.
You know what? That's it.
Levitato! There.
All that terrible Butterfly stuff is gone.
Now, how about a nice King Ludo coffee mug, - or a bobblehead? - We don't want your stuff.
Yeah, we don't like you; Nobody likes you, dude.
- See what I'm dealing with here? - I am your king.
- I command you to like me.
- No.
[Frustrated yell.]
[straining.]
- Checkmate.
- [Sighs.]
I'm bad at everything.
First rule of chess, Marco: You must always protect your king.
[Keys jingling.]
- What do you want? - You're coming with me.
No way.
I'm not going anywhere with you.
That's too bad.
It's urgent royal business.
I need you to command the people to like me.
[laughs.]
Why would I do that? I don't even like you.
Shuffling about and talking to that wand hand of yours.
- It's weird.
- Fine! If you won't help me, then you can just rot in this cell.
Say good-bye to your freedom.
[grunts.]
Come on, you stupid chain.
- Ha ha! - Ho ho.
Ludo.
Butter.
Change of plan.
I'm giving you 24 hours to figure out a way to make the people of Mewni like me, or I'll I'll levitato you into the sky forever.
- Oh, I'm so scared.
- Twenty-four hours.
- Dude, Ludo's gone completely nuts.
- You're telling me! He left behind a perfectly good stick of butter.
Oh, I can almost taste it.
River, now is no time for "butter.
" [gasps.]
- Here [grunts.]
- Yes, you're young and limber.
Reach out for it, boy.
Excellent! Ha ha! - Ha ha! - Careful.
Save some for the gruel, boy.
Nice work, Marco.
Here.
Butter yourself up, and I'll see if I can - figure a way out of here.
- Try the AC vent.
The dungeon has air conditioning? It's a dungeon, not a torture chamber.
Nice.
How are those shackles coming? I don't think this is going to work.
- River, did you eat the butter, River? - I used to be king.
Okay, okay, I'll go steal that key from Ludo, and then we'll both get out of here.
You should just go.
This isn't your fight.
Marco, listen to your king.
[music.]
[gasps.]
Whoa.
The royal bedroom.
[snoring.]
[gasps.]
Ludo.
[screams.]
- Shh.
- Ruberiot? Quiet, dude.
You're gonna get us caught.
[chomps.]
Whoo, how'd I ever live without a solid gold toilet? What the heck is going on here? Since Ludo took over, we've been hiding in the vents.
And, when he's not around, we eat his royal leftovers.
And bathe in his royal bubble bath.
And sleep in his royal bed.
She was miming that we sleep in his royal bed.
- LUDO: Those villagers are so ungrateful.
- And end scene.
I don't get it.
How are these things not flying off the shelf? It can't be for my lack of devilishly good looks.
[sighs.]
I've got that whole levitatoing King River to do.
[blows.]
Being a king is simply exhausting.
Now's our chance.
If we can get that key from Ludo, we can free the king and W-Whoa.
I'm gonna have to stop you right there.
You see, as artists, our job is to comment on the world around us, not "doing stuff.
" A heavy burden, yes, but that's what it means to be an artiste.
Oh, please.
You, an artist? - You're nothing but a jingle scribbler.
- And you're a buffoon.
The buffoon is merely the facade for my pointed social commentary.
That's what makes me a true artist.
- Not as much of an artist as the mime.
- Obviously.
We all know the mime is an artistic genius! - BOTH: Genius.
- Guys, look.
I'm not a soldier either, but there's a time when you have to get off the sidelines and get involved.
If the four of us work together, [music.]
we can save the true king of Mewni.
Now who's with me? Now, see, I wouldn't use that hand gesture.
It's just been done to death.
And you never want to end a sentence with a pronoun.
You all make me sick.
[dramatic music.]
No.
I don't want to shave the corn.
[gasps.]
Huh? What? Who's here? Who's in my royal bedroom?! A guy in a mask.
We're here to - entertain you, my lord.
- What? - In the middle of the night? - Oh, yeah, because, uh And we wrote this song about you.
[chuckles.]
You wrote a song about me? Ohhh, he Came on bird and spider Uh, shone his grace upon us all I did do that, didn't I? And brought the rats here to protect us And now we'll never fall Get the key.
And we say Great King Ludo is great He's so great, great, great, great, great, great, great And Mewni has never been better Been better, been better, been better Oh, great King Ludo is great He's so great, great, great, great, great, great, great You guys are really good.
What do you call your band? Three Artists And A Buffoon.
- Okay, that's it.
- Whoa.
W-What? I'm the buffoon?! You're the buffoon! You make fart jokes.
I make art.
You call that noise art? Your rhymes are whack! - Yeah, well, yours are hack.
- Oh, good one.
- Hey, hey.
- Hey! Stop.
You're all hacks, except for the mime.
[chuckles.]
She's a genius.
Get them! [thud.]
[groans.]
I can't believe this.
I almost had the key! Can't you two get along for just one minute? - But, we like not getting along.
- Yeah.
We're good at it.
Wow! You guys really had me fooled.
[chuckles.]
No, we really do hate each other.
Aah! Marco! Hey, king, we're busting you outta here.
- W-What are you doing? - I won't abandon my people.
- What?! - Sometimes, you've got to let the king go.
[Ludo singing.]
Time's up.
So, um ready to where Where's my key? I must've dropped my key right in front of you, and you didn't even notice.
What?! You could have been running free by now, prancing in the fields.
Must make you feel pretty silly.
[laughs.]
Spider! So are you going to force everyone to like me, or is it levitato time? You may have the crown, but you will never be king.
We'll see how you feel once you've been levitatoed.
No, River! Come on! Welcome to the reign of King Ludo.
This is what happens to anyone who doesn't show respect and adoration for their king.
You have any last words? People of Mewni, I am not afraid! Blah blah blah.
Levitato.
[People gasping, screaming.]
- What are we gonna do now? - Now? We fight.
Uh, you know that's not mud, right? She's a princess winning battles Through the break of dawn Don't worry when it's night 'cause She will keep the lights on Oh, there goes a shining star - # Evil won't deter her # - # No, sir! # - # 'Cause magic flows through her # - # Star Butterfly! # She is a shining star
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