Starsky and Hutch (1975) s01e02 Episode Script

SH1-03 - Texas Longhorn

DA says 10 sharp.
Right to the second, baby.
Precision! - I hate that watch.
- How can you hate a $360 watch? Because you keep telling me how much it cost.
It's the job you hate.
You like chauffeuring a hood around? I don't know, Andrew Mello ain't no ordinary kind of hood.
I mean, look at his credits.
Pushing dope to 11 -year-old kids cornering the market on everything from union-busting to prostitution.
Yeah, we should feel honoured.
Not every day we can rush such a citizen to testify before a Senate committee.
Especially since they could only bust him on an income tax evasion.
It's all right.
It's all right, he's with us.
Yeah, so is he.
I know who they are.
Why'd you want them? Because they're the best.
- You find a safe house? - Yes, sir, Mr.
You needed the best to get me to a safe house? Let's not take any chances, Andrew.
- Grab those two! - Forget them.
We stay with Mello.
Is it bad? - He'll live.
- Get him to Memorial.
- How is he? - They're taking him to Memorial! Metro Five, this is Zebra Three.
Limousine en route, Southern Memorial Hospital, using 17th Street.
Have backup units to 19th and Reeves.
Two men, black leather jackets, both injured.
- There's no access from the window.
- Good.
What we'll have to do, then, is leave a couple men out there in the corridor.
So we'll be delayed some, it's no big deal.
All right, not now, I'll get back to you.
Forget it.
Forget delayed, it's over, Coleman.
I'm not testifying.
Andrew, Kester tried to hit you.
You owe him.
You can't let him frighten you.
Frighten? You think my life means that much to me? Only I realize now there's someone else I have to protect.
Who? - Not here.
- You think we're the leak? When I ran this organization and Kester was a two-bit bagman I always had someone in the police department on my payroll.
What are you saying now? I got somebody in my own back yard leaking information to Kester? How else did this happen? I ran this town for 30 years and those are the realities.
All you need is the price.
Kester's got it.
And until this is resolved to my personal satisfaction no testimony.
That's the way it is, gentlemen.
If you'll excuse us.
Now that you've met the boys, Miss Treasure Chest of the Bet Your Treasure giveaway show.
And she's gonna wheel and deal and I'm gonna come on like a contestant with all the answers.
Yeah? What can you win? Oh, lots of loot.
Cash money, refrigerator/freezer, trip to the Bahamas, TV set.
Hey, Hutch you know where I can fence a TV set? - Fence it? - That's right.
- You mean sell it.
- Sell it, that's an idea.
Somebody tried to hit Andrew Mello this morning.
- I heard.
- It had to be Kester.
So, what do you need from me? Kester's got all the hardware to outfit an army of hit men all shapes, sizes, local and imported, right? Kester's got somebody feeding him information.
- You're losing me, baby.
- We got a worm in our apple.
I dig.
That's heavy.
So ask around, will you? We'll be in touch, Hug.
Not unless me and Mama are in the Bahamas.
Where you guys been? Terry, bring in the cash, the vouchers and the tickets, please.
As soon as you can.
Well, where you been? Never mind.
You're going on a trip.
A vacation? Because we've been dedicated and loyal? Shot at.
- You're going to Bryland.
- Bryland? - What's a Bryland? - Small town outside of San Francisco.
All right, never mind.
That "someone else" Mello was talking about happens to be his daughter.
Her name is Wells - Joanne.
- Joanne Wells, yeah.
You're being assigned to go there, pick her up, bring her back in one piece.
Coleman! This is my office and these are my men.
I can explain this detail without any help from you.
Go ahead.
Now, Mello has a daughter he doesn't want anyone to know about.
He's kept her under wraps.
Even had her live under another name.
She was educated in Europe and came back a couple of years ago.
She's the only thing in his life he really cares about.
And until she's back down here, safe, with him, he's not going to testify.
- She know what happened today? - Yeah.
I talked to her on the phone.
She's very anxious to see him.
Okay, now, here's the address.
Given the fact there may be a leak, this whole operation is top-security.
When you leave this office you're on your own.
Can't call in, ask for help.
You can't let anyone know where you are or what you're doing.
- Is that clear? - That's clear.
I want that girl brought here without a scratch, understand? But you don't mind if we get bruised a little bit, huh? Heard you could take care of yourselves.
Knock it off, Coleman.
We don't wanna attract attention so tomorrow morning you catch a regular flight to San Francisco grab a cab and go to Bryland pick up the girl and bring her back here the same way.
Come in.
- Here are the cash and tickets, captain.
- Give it to them.
- Hutch.
- Hutch.
Who'll take the cash? Wait here.
- Worried? - Yeah.
I'd rather worry.
Me too.
- So who do we trust? - Like always, me and thee.
Come in.
Thank you.
- How's my father? - Oh, he's doing fine.
He's under tight security.
Were you both with him when he was shot? That's right, Miss Mello.
We were assigned to protect him.
Protect him? - He could've been killed.
- When I heard about it I thought the police might have liked that.
What we think of your father has nothing to do with our job which is getting you back to him safely.
- That's what we intend to do.
- I'm frightened.
After what happened this morning, I don't feel I can trust anyone.
- I don't know what's out there.
- Neither do we, Miss Mello.
So if you'll just do what we ask, stay close to us we'll all get along much better.
Now, we have a plane to catch.
I'm all packed.
- That's one heavy bag.
- Just like a woman.
Hey, nice day, huh? I think it's a nice day.
- Hey, I'm George.
- Hello, George.
Look, I'm sorry about what I said about the police and my father, okay? Okay.
Apology accepted.
I do understand how you must feel about him.
Well, your father's not one of our favourite people.
- You don't really know him.
- I know your father inside and out.
What he did to send you to that European college to buy you that $15,000 sports car.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Look, I was never a part of my father's business or whatever you wanna call it.
We always kept our lives separate.
And now he's trying to change what he's done.
Look, I'm not gonna spend this whole time trying to defend my father.
I feel uncomfortable enough as it is, all right? She's got a point.
- How much farther to the airport? - Oh, about 15 miles.
- Hey, you guys sound like cops.
- We are.
- Step on it, will you? - That's funny, you don't look like cops.
- What? - I didn't say anything.
- The green Chevy.
- Yeah.
- Something wrong? - Probably nothing.
Just watching a green Chevy.
- Could be tailing us.
- Tailing us? Hey, come on.
A lot of people go to the airport.
Where else can you catch a plane, right? - Right.
- We've been following that blue car so are they worried? Hutch.
Squeeze! - Where do we go from here? - The corn fields! Well, go ahead, I'll cover you! - Hey, what the hell is this? - Get out! - Take George, will you? - Come on, George.
- Come on, George.
Come on! - Come on, George! Go! Go! Go! Get out, George! Hey, what do you mean? This is my cab! - You'll get paid later.
- Give him your watch for security.
- No way! - It's a terrific watch! Hey, I can't drive a watch.
- You said you hated this watch.
- Did I say that? Here, George.
You'll be safer without us.
Relax, Dobey, relax.
Everything's gonna be all right.
- The worst part is this waiting, really.
- The worst part is, it's wrong.
There's no need for it.
It's police work.
And we can handle it without a lot of unnecessary James Bond jazz from the DA's office.
I'll pretend I didn't hear that remark.
Hey, listen, you can pretend you're a 747, but that bird still ain't gonna fly! Dobey here.
Well, when did that happen? Are you sure about that cabby? Well, what about our people? Okay.
Yeah, I'll get back to you.
- Something? - Marin County troopers.
Cabby said he had Starsky and Hutch and the girl on the way to the airport.
They were hit by four hoods.
A lot of shooting.
Well, what about? Didn't he see? Last time he saw them, they were going down the highway in his cab with the hoods following.
And I told them not to call in for help.
Where are we going? Not to the airport.
It's the first place they'd look.
We're headed south, might as well keep going.
Where does this road go to? It goes to Jenson Corners and then it connects with the freeway.
- What, are we gonna drive all the way? - We really got no choice.
Well, why don't we call the sheriff, get a police escort or something? It's safer not to give away our location.
- Fill it up, will you? - Yes, sir.
- Better get rid of the car.
- Yeah.
Wait a sec.
Could you park her in the garage and forget you saw it? Why would I do a thing like that? How many guesses do I get? I mean, I don't know you.
What's in a name? - Or what you're up to.
- I'm up to 30 bucks.
- Hey, how's the food? - Well, it probably won't kill you.
Come on.
Except maybe for the meat loaf! - Help you? - Yeah.
- What's the special today? - Hot plate's meat loaf.
- Yeah, what about sandwiches? - Jelly, bologna and meat loaf.
- Pushing the meat loaf awfully hard.
- We got a mess of it.
- I'll have a cup of coffee.
- Two.
I'll try the meat loaf.
You handle yourself pretty well.
Thank you.
Most people would have been hysterical by now.
I wonder how my father is.
Don't worry.
He's a tough old turkey.
He won't quit.
So I've heard.
Why did you say it was safer for us not to give away our location? Well, whoever those jokers were, they weren't on our tail by accident.
Someone told them where to pick us up.
So we're targets and we can't even ask for help? That's the way it is.
Starsky, that's awful.
What are you talking about? Hey! Hey, you got any gravy? Just put some over the top.
Pay the man.
Come on.
- Purse.
My purse.
- And get the dishes.
Right, okay.
Keep the change.
Starsky! Hey, listen.
Listen! - Cab's here.
Truck's blocking the door.
- Fellas out there they're looking for you.
So maybe you ought to tell me who you are - The van.
- Bingo! You're the fuzz.
Well, I heard that on the TV.
We wanna borrow your van.
And we'll leave the cab for security.
Say, if you're the police, just where did you get the cab? We traded it for his watch.
- Must be some watch.
- $360 watch.
- We won't get it back with no lousy van.
- Later.
- We got a deal? - We sure do.
I'm a good citizen and I believe in law and order.
- You can borrow the van for 200.
- 200?! Well, I gotta give something to the guy that owns it.
- 4, 6, 8, 10, - Where are the keys? - There ain't none.
You just twist the wires under the dash.
- You want some gas? - Yeah, it runs better.
I filled it up this morning and that'll cost you another 10.
Oh, Starsky, pay the man.
If I were you, I'd disappear till those guys get out of here.
- Who drives? - It's your watch.
Oh, yeah.
Look, wait till you hear the engine catch, then haul out.
They couldn't have just disappeared into thin air.
Not in a yellow cab.
Anything? Not a thing.
Where's that old man? Hey, Pops! Hey! - Hey! - What? I need to fill it up.
See Jenson over in the station.
- He's not even around.
- Well, don't tell me your troubles! I don't even work here! The van.
You weren't gonna leave without us, were you? What's the matter? I don't know.
It ain't catching.
What are they doing? Talking.
- What about? - The weather.
Hello, Mama.
- They buy it? - So far.
That old man has to be here somewhere.
Thorn, go around there.
You check the trailer, Deeks.
Deeks, Thorn! They made a switch! That taxi's still there! - What? - That van! They took that van! They're behind us! - We can't outrun them, can we? - No way.
You got any ideas? - No.
- No.
- You? - I'm working on it.
Sorry, I just got an idea.
Hold on, I just got another idea.
Starsky! That was a great idea, Starsk.
Driving's a bit shaky.
- How you doing? - Okay.
Hot? Sure am.
Not exactly your style, is it? No.
But the company makes up for it.
You know what I'd like right now? An ice-cold lemonade.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
- Hey, Starsky! - What? - You thirsty? - What you got in mind? How about an ice-cold lemonade? Yeah, with two scoops of raspberry-ripple ice cream.
And a cup of cold beer.
I can hardly wait.
How long till we get there? I don't know.
Watch this.
- Hey, Starsk.
- What? What time you got? Funny.
Very funny.
Where have you been? You're six hours overdue.
Yes, sir, Mr.
I'm glad to see you here.
We were very worried about you, Linda.
Are you all right? - We had a few moments.
- This is my father, Andrew Mello.
I appreciate what you done.
Would somebody mind telling us what the hell's going on? Starsky, Hutch this is Joanne Mello.
I'm Detective Linda Williams.
San Francisco Police.
A setup.
You set us up! - I'm sorry.
- You need a decoy, okay.
Need to distract Kester while police bring Mello's daughter, okay! A little kinky, but workable.
But why not let us in on it? - I wanted to, but I couldn't.
- What? I wouldn't let him.
Oh, you wouldn't let him? Well, just who do you think is running this department? I am! But this was the DA's show and we were forced to go along with it.
All right, now, listen, you two.
Mello said Kester had someone in his pocket.
What happened proved he was right.
So if a department is suspect everybody in that department is suspect.
Dobey said he could trust you.
With what's at stake, I can't trust anybody.
So with the help of Helen Hayes here the two of you turn us into clay pigeons.
Get off her back, Starsky! She risked her neck for us.
And I, for one, am very grateful.
Our apologies, Detective Williams.
The next time you set us up for a wipeout I hope you'll join us.
Get in here and close the door! We're not through with you yet.
What are you gonna do next, shoot us out of a cannon? Now, Mello wants his daughter shipped out of the country.
We've booked a flight which leaves in three hours.
We gotta get her from the hospital to the airport.
How would you like a trip to Paris? - I think I could handle that.
- You've earned it.
Why don't you clear it with her superiors.
Good luck.
The kiss of death.
Take her in your car and I'll meet you over there.
- Hello.
- Look, where have you been? I been in the can, why? Listen, you messed up.
That wasn't Mello's daughter you were chasing.
- It had to be.
- No! It was a San Francisco policewoman.
You gotta be kidding.
Those clowns chased a phoney? Yeah.
A decoy.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
I booked Mello's daughter on a flight to Paris.
Six o'clock.
They're going to the hospital to pick her up.
Here we are, facing danger together in pursuit of law and order.
To the passerby, we seem like ordinary people on our way to visit Marcus Welby, or to the maternity ward to see if it's a boy.
Little do they know we are highly skilled servants of the public.
- Starsky.
- What? - Shut up.
- Gee, you two are wonderful together.
- What can I do for you? - We need a surgical cap, a mask sheets and a gurney and a set of greens.
- What for? - We're gonna play doctor.
- Listen, I gotta ask you something.
- Yeah? When you knew we were cops but we didn't know you were well, you came on a little strong, for a phoney.
- Think Mello's daughter would've? - Partly that.
Partly, I was just scared.
You two could have been a couple of stumblebums.
How was I to know you were just a little short of perfect? Remember, now, we want that girl alive no matter how many cops we have to burn.
Hit it! Down! Now! Let's get a doctor! Think you can find a doctor? Does it Does it hurt? Of course it hurts, you dummy.
Hey, copper.
- You look pretty good lying there.
- Thanks I think.
You wanna get him up on that gurney? Attaboy.
Come on, let's move it.
Take him down to Emergency.
We'll have an officer there in a few seconds.
- Doc, will you check him out? - Okay.
- How is she? - Well, she's tough.
- I'm fine.
- Well, let's sit you up.
- I'm all right.
- There you go.
Come on, come on.
That's a girl.
- There you go.
- Hey, Starsky? - How'd you know it was them? - Oh, the watch.
The watch? Yeah, the guy pushing the stretcher, he was wearing a surgical mask.
Yeah, so? So the guy on the stretcher was either going to or from surgery, right? Yeah, so? So you don't wear a watch in surgery.
Here comes the doctor.
- I'm all right, really.
- Sure you are.
Oh, I am, I'm fine.
Oh, changing seats.
Oh, I - Thank you, men.
- You're welcome, ma'am.
Is it very painful? Listen, I can still make that trip to Paris for sure.
- You give my love to the Eiffel Tower.
- I will.
So long.
- Bye-bye.
- Bye.
"Give my love to the Eiffel Tower"? It's not funny to me.
- We almost lost this race at the wire.
- Well, I'll tell you one thing.
The leak in the department is no cop on the take.
You're right about that.
This happened too fast for it.
Maybe your office is bugged.
I mean, nobody knew about that flight to Paris except - You wanted coffee, captain? - Yes.
Just put it there, thank you.
All right, what we'll do is move Mello out to the Valley at that safe house corner of Marshall and Jefferson.
- We'll keep him there until the trial.
- We'll get on it.
Thank you.
Listen, they're moving Mello to a house in the Valley.
A house.
Corner of Jefferson and Marshall.
Hey, Starsky.
How can a disbursement clerk who takes home $140 a week afford a second car, and a Cadillac at that? Got me.
Maybe her folks send her money.
I don't think so.
This is her only visible means of support.
- You know what? - What? She needs to be alone for a long time.
Book her.
- How'd you know? - Every time somebody made a move you made the travel arrangements.
- It was as simple as that.
Well, don't keep us in suspense.
How'd it go when you got to the finals? I was asked, "Who was the 16th president of the United States?" I said, "Lincoln.
" "The speed of light?" "186,000 miles a second.
" And then the big one for the trip to the Bahamas - And? - And a TV set and a freezer full of buffalo meat.
- So, what happened? I got so rattled I couldn't think.
My head was spinning, Miss Treasure Chest was grinning at me the crowd was yelling and I guess I didn't hear the question right.
- What was the question? - "Who was the greatest moneymaking horse of all time?" - And what did you say? - Marie Antoinette.
Marie Antoinette? The greatest moneymaking horse of all time? I guess I didn't think they said "horse.
" Man, you been on the streets too long.
What happened with Miss Treasure Chest? Man, she went off to the Bahamas with some other dude.
- You've had a bad day, Hug.
- Precisely.
And you? Not bad, except I lost my watch.
I don't know how to tell you this, Starsky.
When George came down to get his new cab, courtesy of the department he brought back your watch.
- Guess what.
- It's broken.
- Oh, it's worse than that.
- What? It was hot.
The claims officer had found it on the sheet and the owner had been contacted.
You sold me a hot watch.
It was cold when I touched it.
Honest, Starsky.
I swear! Hey, look, man, I didn't know nothing about it.
Look, the guy came down, you said you wanted the watch I've got the watch, it was a good deal, a brand name.
Man, what did you want for a few dollars? Look, Starsky, it was just a big mistake, that's all.
Let's just forget about it.
Me and you.
Did anybody ever tell you you was pushy?