Steven Universe (2013) s02e29 Episode Script
Log Date 7 15 2
- # We # - # are the Crystal # - # Gems # - # we'll always save the day # and if you think we can't we'll always find a way - # that's why the people # - # of this world # - # believe in # - # Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # And Steven! "Log Date 7-15-2" Log date 7-1-5-2.
I can't believe I just did that.
I disobeyed my orders and went against Yellow Diamond's wishes.
I'm a traitorous clod! I never want to think about what I've done again! I'm a traitorous clod! I never want to think about what I've done again! And I called Yellow Diamond a clod right to her face! I called Yellow Diamond a clod right to her face.
Uh, Peridot, are you gonna be okay? I'm a traitorous clod.
Traitorous clod.
No.
It's all gonna work out.
You're with us now! You don't understand.
I'm protecting a planet I was once trying to destroy.
I used to follow every order every rule.
Now I'm a traitor.
A rebel! A Crystal Gem-m-m-m-m.
Clod! Clod! Clod! Well, that tape recorder seems to be helping.
No, it's not! It's a chronicle of my descent into madness! - You dropped this.
- Get it away from me.
Give it to Steven.
Return madness to its source! Are you sure you don't want it? Whatever.
It's yours now.
Yours.
Not mine.
Not mine.
Yours.
Yours.
- Let's calm down.
- Okay.
So, am I gonna have to wear a star? Where am I gonna put the star? They seem to be getting along well.
I wonder when that happened.
Log date 7-1-1-2.
The Steven has given me this earth machine to replace my communicator log.
It looks extremely primitive.
He also said he wanted me to stop calling him "the Steven.
" It's just "Steven.
" I said I'd call him whatever I want! He told me that was rude.
Rude.
I guess I'll call him "Steven.
" The organic life forms of Earth have fascinating traits despite their poor choice of residence.
I wonder if all of them have flight capabilities? Oh, you must be Peridot.
Whoa!! - Peridot! - What do you want? You can't just shove someone off of a roof! - Why not? - This is a human! He isn't like us! He's fragile and soft! Hey, it's not like a six pack is gonna save you - from that height.
- You could have seriously hurt him.
Well, how was I supposed to know that? Hm.
Greg, you'll have to excuse Peridot.
She's far from her homeworld, and she still has a lot to learn about our planet.
- No, I don't! - Yes, you do! Uh, hey, yeah.
Don't worry about it! Ugh! In conclusion, not all of the organic beings here can fly.
Additionally, it is, without question, that the permafusion, Garnet, is the worst.
Today, I was assigned a "chore" cleaning duty like I'm the Pearl.
These clumps don't know how lucky they are to have me.
Although, while doing "chore", I did happen upon a container containing many shirts.
Imagine appearance modifiers that aren't melded to your body.
- Oooh! - Nice shorts.
How How did these get here?! Log date 7-1-2-2.
Today marks the 30th earth rotation since my capture.
Happy one month can-aversary! - Cylinders? - They're stilts.
You tie them on your feet, and they make you taller.
I tried to spruce them up a bit.
I don't know what it is about flames, but they just make everything cooler.
Why are you giving me these? Because I want you to feel nice.
That's what gifts are for.
You give them to your friends to show you care.
And they go, "wow, thanks!" As if I'd stoop so low as to tie your earth trash to my body.
Leave me! Go, go, go, go Go! And, wow, thanks! Why, yes, Pearl, I did get taller.
How correct of you to notice.
Of course, Amethyst, I will acquire those cheesy chaps for you off that very high shelf.
Hyah! Whoa.
They even function in reverse! Ugh! "Jokes.
" "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "The chicken wanted to get to the other side of the road.
" What's a chicken? It seems the earth ones are constantly filling the voids of their life with meaningless distractions.
On the last episode of "Camp pining hearts" I don't care that you're on the yellow team, Percy.
We can make this work! It's coolor war, Paulette.
Doesn't that mean anything to you? What is this strange ritual? - Uh, that's umm - Are they attempting fusion? No, well, my dad told me during certain stages in your life How could anyone indulge in this baseless drivel?! I'll have no part of it! Hour 78 of "Camp pining hearts".
It's the coolor war, Paulette.
Doesn't that mean anything to you? Uh, you've been here for a few days.
Is everything okay? I've just been watching your previously recorded entertainment.
Is that the same episode from three days ago? - There's more than one? - Mmm nah.
Oh.
You made a picture.
Picture? This isn't just a picture, Steven! It's a complex chart cataloging the compatible characteristics between campers.
Somehow the rejects at camp clod fail to recognize the superior pair that is Pierre and Percy.
- Well, that's 'cause Paulette likes Percy.
- Paulette.
Ha! Paulette has no place in the camp's hierarchy.
Now Pierre Pierre is a brute! Pierre laid waste to the three-legged races.
Pierre and Percy present the strongest battle formation.
They'd destroy the camp! - You got all this from one episode? - It's subtext, Steven.
Allow me to explain.
Well, first of all, - I remember this part.
- Percy & Pierre are both on the yellow team And that's why Percy and Pierre are objectively the best for each other! Gah! Log date 7-1-3-2.
Progress on the Cluster drill is going optimal, surprisingly.
Though I have a few complaints on the work ethic of Hey! Amethyst, really.
This is no time to be fooling around.
Aw, come on, P.
I'm just trying to lion the mood.
"Lion the mood.
" Do you always use shape-shifting like this? You mean to be really cool? - Pretty much.
- But it's such a Significant use of energy compared to the output.
- What was that? - I've been practicing my "Perry-phrasing.
" Pretty impressive in my opinion, but it's hard to beat the original.
So, can you shift into anything? Sure.
Got a request? Bok bok! I'm a chicken! I get the joke now! Ha! Yes, well, at least she isn't "lion around" anymore.
Pearl really tries for some reason, and I can appreciate that.
Amethyst's company is entertaining, as well.
But, the fused one eludes me.
Okay, we can add more support as we go, but for now, we just have to pick it up and put it on top.
No sweat.
- Let's do this! - You've got the right idea, but we might want to be a bit more careful.
Gotcha.
Shall we? Huh? That looks great.
Let's take a break.
What? - All right, I'm at my limit! - Evening, Peridot.
Explain it to me, fusion.
I can at least make sense of your existence if it's for a functional purpose.
But you? You're not using your combined size and strength - to do anything! - I'm doing something.
- And what's that? - Stargazing.
Ich.
You can do that alone.
- Don't want to.
- Hm.
You can see Homeworld's galaxy from here.
You're right.
We're very different.
I appreciate that.
Really? If you really want to understand fusion, I can help you.
- What do you mean? - Let's fuse.
Oh, my stars! I get it, you're not ready.
That's fair.
- Another time then.
- No! No-No-No.
Just just gimme a sec! Yeah.
Get ready.
No, no, no, no, no! - I can't do it.
- That's fine.
- Peridot, I'm proud of you.
- Why?! Because you've made an effort to understand me.
But I still don't understand you! Why are you fused all the time? - I'm Percy and Pierre.
- Oh! Okay, go.
Log date 7-14-2 No, you say it "7, 1, 4, 2".
Ugh, log date 7, 1, 4, 2.
I have attempted a fusion with the fusion Garnet.
I had hoped to gain a better understanding of fusion.
Instead I gained a better understanding of Garnet.
Wait, keep it on a moment.
Steven, you probably shouldn't have listened to Peridot's logs, but I know your curiosity comes from a place of caring.
You should give the recorder back to her now.
- She's going to want to keep it.
- Wait, what? - Here, Peridot, take this back.
- Wow.
Thanks.
I can't believe I just did that.
I disobeyed my orders and went against Yellow Diamond's wishes.
I'm a traitorous clod! I never want to think about what I've done again! I'm a traitorous clod! I never want to think about what I've done again! And I called Yellow Diamond a clod right to her face! I called Yellow Diamond a clod right to her face.
Uh, Peridot, are you gonna be okay? I'm a traitorous clod.
Traitorous clod.
No.
It's all gonna work out.
You're with us now! You don't understand.
I'm protecting a planet I was once trying to destroy.
I used to follow every order every rule.
Now I'm a traitor.
A rebel! A Crystal Gem-m-m-m-m.
Clod! Clod! Clod! Well, that tape recorder seems to be helping.
No, it's not! It's a chronicle of my descent into madness! - You dropped this.
- Get it away from me.
Give it to Steven.
Return madness to its source! Are you sure you don't want it? Whatever.
It's yours now.
Yours.
Not mine.
Not mine.
Yours.
Yours.
- Let's calm down.
- Okay.
So, am I gonna have to wear a star? Where am I gonna put the star? They seem to be getting along well.
I wonder when that happened.
Log date 7-1-1-2.
The Steven has given me this earth machine to replace my communicator log.
It looks extremely primitive.
He also said he wanted me to stop calling him "the Steven.
" It's just "Steven.
" I said I'd call him whatever I want! He told me that was rude.
Rude.
I guess I'll call him "Steven.
" The organic life forms of Earth have fascinating traits despite their poor choice of residence.
I wonder if all of them have flight capabilities? Oh, you must be Peridot.
Whoa!! - Peridot! - What do you want? You can't just shove someone off of a roof! - Why not? - This is a human! He isn't like us! He's fragile and soft! Hey, it's not like a six pack is gonna save you - from that height.
- You could have seriously hurt him.
Well, how was I supposed to know that? Hm.
Greg, you'll have to excuse Peridot.
She's far from her homeworld, and she still has a lot to learn about our planet.
- No, I don't! - Yes, you do! Uh, hey, yeah.
Don't worry about it! Ugh! In conclusion, not all of the organic beings here can fly.
Additionally, it is, without question, that the permafusion, Garnet, is the worst.
Today, I was assigned a "chore" cleaning duty like I'm the Pearl.
These clumps don't know how lucky they are to have me.
Although, while doing "chore", I did happen upon a container containing many shirts.
Imagine appearance modifiers that aren't melded to your body.
- Oooh! - Nice shorts.
How How did these get here?! Log date 7-1-2-2.
Today marks the 30th earth rotation since my capture.
Happy one month can-aversary! - Cylinders? - They're stilts.
You tie them on your feet, and they make you taller.
I tried to spruce them up a bit.
I don't know what it is about flames, but they just make everything cooler.
Why are you giving me these? Because I want you to feel nice.
That's what gifts are for.
You give them to your friends to show you care.
And they go, "wow, thanks!" As if I'd stoop so low as to tie your earth trash to my body.
Leave me! Go, go, go, go Go! And, wow, thanks! Why, yes, Pearl, I did get taller.
How correct of you to notice.
Of course, Amethyst, I will acquire those cheesy chaps for you off that very high shelf.
Hyah! Whoa.
They even function in reverse! Ugh! "Jokes.
" "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "The chicken wanted to get to the other side of the road.
" What's a chicken? It seems the earth ones are constantly filling the voids of their life with meaningless distractions.
On the last episode of "Camp pining hearts" I don't care that you're on the yellow team, Percy.
We can make this work! It's coolor war, Paulette.
Doesn't that mean anything to you? What is this strange ritual? - Uh, that's umm - Are they attempting fusion? No, well, my dad told me during certain stages in your life How could anyone indulge in this baseless drivel?! I'll have no part of it! Hour 78 of "Camp pining hearts".
It's the coolor war, Paulette.
Doesn't that mean anything to you? Uh, you've been here for a few days.
Is everything okay? I've just been watching your previously recorded entertainment.
Is that the same episode from three days ago? - There's more than one? - Mmm nah.
Oh.
You made a picture.
Picture? This isn't just a picture, Steven! It's a complex chart cataloging the compatible characteristics between campers.
Somehow the rejects at camp clod fail to recognize the superior pair that is Pierre and Percy.
- Well, that's 'cause Paulette likes Percy.
- Paulette.
Ha! Paulette has no place in the camp's hierarchy.
Now Pierre Pierre is a brute! Pierre laid waste to the three-legged races.
Pierre and Percy present the strongest battle formation.
They'd destroy the camp! - You got all this from one episode? - It's subtext, Steven.
Allow me to explain.
Well, first of all, - I remember this part.
- Percy & Pierre are both on the yellow team And that's why Percy and Pierre are objectively the best for each other! Gah! Log date 7-1-3-2.
Progress on the Cluster drill is going optimal, surprisingly.
Though I have a few complaints on the work ethic of Hey! Amethyst, really.
This is no time to be fooling around.
Aw, come on, P.
I'm just trying to lion the mood.
"Lion the mood.
" Do you always use shape-shifting like this? You mean to be really cool? - Pretty much.
- But it's such a Significant use of energy compared to the output.
- What was that? - I've been practicing my "Perry-phrasing.
" Pretty impressive in my opinion, but it's hard to beat the original.
So, can you shift into anything? Sure.
Got a request? Bok bok! I'm a chicken! I get the joke now! Ha! Yes, well, at least she isn't "lion around" anymore.
Pearl really tries for some reason, and I can appreciate that.
Amethyst's company is entertaining, as well.
But, the fused one eludes me.
Okay, we can add more support as we go, but for now, we just have to pick it up and put it on top.
No sweat.
- Let's do this! - You've got the right idea, but we might want to be a bit more careful.
Gotcha.
Shall we? Huh? That looks great.
Let's take a break.
What? - All right, I'm at my limit! - Evening, Peridot.
Explain it to me, fusion.
I can at least make sense of your existence if it's for a functional purpose.
But you? You're not using your combined size and strength - to do anything! - I'm doing something.
- And what's that? - Stargazing.
Ich.
You can do that alone.
- Don't want to.
- Hm.
You can see Homeworld's galaxy from here.
You're right.
We're very different.
I appreciate that.
Really? If you really want to understand fusion, I can help you.
- What do you mean? - Let's fuse.
Oh, my stars! I get it, you're not ready.
That's fair.
- Another time then.
- No! No-No-No.
Just just gimme a sec! Yeah.
Get ready.
No, no, no, no, no! - I can't do it.
- That's fine.
- Peridot, I'm proud of you.
- Why?! Because you've made an effort to understand me.
But I still don't understand you! Why are you fused all the time? - I'm Percy and Pierre.
- Oh! Okay, go.
Log date 7-14-2 No, you say it "7, 1, 4, 2".
Ugh, log date 7, 1, 4, 2.
I have attempted a fusion with the fusion Garnet.
I had hoped to gain a better understanding of fusion.
Instead I gained a better understanding of Garnet.
Wait, keep it on a moment.
Steven, you probably shouldn't have listened to Peridot's logs, but I know your curiosity comes from a place of caring.
You should give the recorder back to her now.
- She's going to want to keep it.
- Wait, what? - Here, Peridot, take this back.
- Wow.
Thanks.