Storage Wars (2010) s01e18 Episode Script

Skullduggery

- narrator: WHEN STORAGE UNITS ARE ABANDONED THE TREASURES WITHIN - THIS IS DO OR DIE.
- ARE PUT UP FOR AUCTION.
- THREE.
- $400.
- YEAH.
- YEAH.
- YEP! - SOLD! [thud] - narrator: COMING UP - MY CAP WAS $300.
I'M OUT.
- $375.
$375.
- JARROD MAY HAVE SAID $300, BUT I DIDN'T AGREE TO THAT.
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SAW IN THIS UNIT.
- I WAS IN A BUYING MOOD.
- THAT'S A PREHISTORIC TOILET.
- I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THAT THIS IS THE STRANGEST THING I'VE EVER FOUND IN A STORAGE UNIT.
DON'T PUT [bleep] LIKE THAT ON THERE UNLESS I CAN RETURN THE [bleep] FAVOR.
- GO AWAY BEFORE IT GETS UGLY.
[country music] - THIS IS THE WOW FACTOR.
- I'M NOT INTIMIDATED BY ANY BUYERS.
- CASH IS KING.
WINNER TAKES ALL.
- YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO ENCOUNTER.
- LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO! - * MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN * MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT MONEY OWNS THIS TOWN - SOLD! - TODAY WE'RE IN ALPINE STORAGE IN YUCAIPA, CALIFORNIA.
- IT'S A QUIET BEDROOM COMMUNITY NOW.
BUT IT DOES HAVE QUITE A PAST.
- YUCAIPA'S AN OLD, OLD PLACE.
- THERE WAS A BIG GOLD RUSH HERE.
SO WHO KNOWS, MAYBE THEY'LL BE GOLD LEFT IN SOME OF THESE LOCKERS.
- WE'RE PLAYING THE PSYCHOLOGICAL GAME WITH DAVE TODAY.
AND I THINK MY HAT'S ALREADY DONE IT'S PART.
- AND YOU KNOW, WHAT HAT? YOU MEAN THAT HAT? "NEWPORT CON GALLERY.
" AND INSTEAD OF DAVE'S HAT SAYING "NEWPORT BEACH CONSIGNMENT GALLERY," BRANDON DID A LITTLE MAGIC, AND MADE IT SAY "NEWPORT CON GALLERY.
" WE THINK IT'S HILARIOUS.
BUT CRYBABY DAVE THREW SUCH A FIT THAT WE DECIDED TO COVER IT UP FOR THE AUCTIONS.
- I'D PREFER NOT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
- ALL I CAN SAY IS IF THE SHOE FITS, WEAR IT, HESTER.
- ALL RIGHT, BOYS AND GIRLS, WELCOME.
WE'RE AT ALPINE STORAGE IN YUCAIPA, CALIFORNIA.
AND BEFORE YOU GO THROUGH THESE GATES, YOU NEED TO KNOW THE RULES.
WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE DOOR, WE'RE GONNA REMOVE THE LOCK, WE'RE GONNA GIVE YOU FIVE MINUTES TO TAKE A LOOK.
SOON AS YOU'RE DONE LOOKING, WE'RE GONNA SELL IT TO WHOEVER'S GOT THE MOST CASH IN THEIR POCKET TODAY.
ARE YOU READY TO GO? - THEN LET'S GO! LET'S GO, LET'S GO! all: WHOA! [overlapping chatter] - WOW.
THERE'S A PIECE OF ANTIQUE FURNITURE RIGHT THERE.
IT ALMOST LOOKS LIKE IT'S A LITTLE VICTORIAN EASTLAKE, BUT I THINK IT'S ACTUALLY LATER THAN THAT.
I THINK I'M GONNA PARTICIPATE.
- I SEE A COUCH, I SEE SOME PAINTINGS, BUT WHAT I'M REALLY INTERESTED IN IS THAT ANTIQUE DESK.
BRANDI, COME HERE.
- UH, I'M CAPPING THAT.
- $500.
- THAT'S TOO MUCH.
- $600.
I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY.
I KNOW HOW TO COUNT TO 20.
- ALL RIGHT.
- WE'RE LOOKING AT AN ANTIQUE TABLE HERE AND AN OLD SLED.
THAT TABLE INTERESTS ME A LOT.
IT'S A NICE TABLE.
I DEFINITELY LIKE IT.
- IT'S AN INTERESTING MIX.
I'M FEELING THIS ONE.
- ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE READY TO GO, I'M READY TO GO.
AND HERE WE GO.
- $10! - YOU GIVE ME $100.
[auctioneer speaking rapidly] NOW $200.
- RIGHT HERE.
- RIGHT THERE.
$300 NOW.
I'VE GOT $200, $300.
- HERE.
- [auctioneer speaking rapidly] $325, RIGHT THERE.
$350, IS THAT YOU? $350.
$375? - AQUI.
- $375, YOU THERE.
- THAT MEANS "HERE" IN SPANISH.
- [speaking rapidly] $400 NOW? - $400.
- I'VE GOT $400.
$425, JARROD, HOW ABOUT THAT? $425.
$425 GOING ONCE.
I GOT $425 IN THE BACK.
$500, FINGERS.
FIVE FINGERS.
SIX FINGERS, WHERE? CAN I GET $550? $550 WHERE? - I REALLY WANNA KEEP BIDDING ON THIS UNIT, BUT IT'S JUST NOT WORTH THE BRANDI HEADACHE.
- $550 GOING ONCE, I'VE GOT $500.
$550? - YEAH! - $550.
AND $600.
AND $600 WITH THE LIGHT.
- THE LIGHT.
- $650 WHERE? JOHN WITH THE LIGHT AT $600.
AT $650, SOUNDS LIKE I'M TALKING TO GOD.
LAST AND FINAL CALL AT $600.
$650, CAN I GET? - YEAH! - $650, AND $700.
- IN THE BACK.
- $750 IN THE BACK.
$800 NOW? $800 GOING ONCE? - YEP! - $850 NOW.
I'VE GOT $800 BUCKS.
$850 - YEAH.
- $850 HERE.
- IT'S TIME TO RUN DAVE UP OR WIN THIS LOCKER.
- $900 GOING ONCE.
JOHN, TELL THEM THEY'RE OUT AT $900, GOING TWICE.
FAIR WARNING AT $900 $900 GONNA GO NOW.
SOLD IT YOUR WAY FOR $850.
DARRELL, THE GAMBLER, $850.
- DARRELL, THE GAMBLER.
- ALL RIGHT, FOLKS.
all: WHOO! - ALL RIGHT, FOLKS.
YOU KNOW THE RULES.
GET A GOOD LOOK.
DO NOT GO INSIDE THE UNIT, FOLKS.
- IS THAT A SEASHELL NIGHTLIGHT RIGHT THERE? THOSE ARE NICE CHAIRS.
- LOOK AT THE HORSE HEAD.
- A HORSE HEAD? - I LOVE THE HORSE HEAD.
I REALLY LIKED THAT HORSE HEAD.
JARROD DOESN'T KNOW IT YET, BUT WE'RE GETTING THIS LOCKER.
- THERE'S JUST NOT A LOT OF MERCHANDISE IN HERE.
BUT I MIGHT PUT A FEW BIDS IN.
- WOW.
I SEE A HORSE'S HEAD IN THERE.
REMINISCENT OF THE GODFATHER.
THAT'S ABOUT ALL I SEE, THOUGH.
- I LIKE THESE UNITS 'CAUSE I NEVER KNOW WHAT'S IN THE BOXES.
THESE ARE THE KIND OF LOCKERS I LIKE TO GAMBLE ON.
- ALL RIGHT, IF YOU'RE READY TO GO, I'M READY TO GO.
HERE WE GO ON NUMBER 20.
- $50.
- GOT A LITTLE SEVERED-- - $50.
- $50 RIGHT THERE.
$75 WHERE? I GOT $50.
WHERE? $100 THERE.
[speaking rapidly] - YEP! - $150, $175? $175 RIGHT THERE.
$200? - $200.
- $225? - OVER HERE.
- $225 THERE.
$250 NOW.
WE GOT $225.
AND $250, AND $250.
$275? - $300.
- $300 RIGHT THERE.
- MY CAP WAS $300.
I'M OUT.
- $300 RIGHT THERE.
$375.
- WELL, JARROD MAY HAVE SAID $300, BUT I DIDN'T AGREE TO THAT.
- I'VE GOT $350.
- HEY.
- I'VE GOT $350.
$400 THERE.
$400.
- HO! - $425 WHERE? I GOT $425.
$475, ARE YOU IN? I GOT $450.
$475, SHE SAYS.
GOT $500? $500 WHERE? $500 GOING ONCE? I'VE GOT $475.
$500? $500? $500 GOING TWICE.
SOLD IT YOUR WAY.
YOU GOT IT FOR $475.
THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.
$475, GREAT JOB.
- GOOD JOB, HONEY.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT, FOLKS.
WE GOT ANOTHER UNIT TO GO TO.
- YOU SPENT TOO MUCH.
- WELL, I THINK-- - I THINK IT'S GONNA BE GOOD.
I DON'T KNOW.
- I TOLD YOU 300 BUCKS ON THAT.
- I WAS INTRIGUED.
I THINK IT'S KIND OF AN INTERESTING UNIT.
JARROD ALWAYS GOES PAST OUR MAX.
HE'S JUST MAD 'CAUSE I DID THE BIDDING THIS TIME.
WE'LL SEE.
MAYBE I MADE A MISTAKE.
MAYBE I DIDN'T.
WE'LL SEE.
- I SAID I THINK YOUR BUDDY'S STARTING TO CRACK.
- REALLY? - YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT THIS MORNING - NO.
- BETWEEN DAVE AND BRANDON? - YEAH, WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT? WHAT ARE YOU GUYS FIGHTING ABOUT? - HE'S ALL UPSET BECAUSE OF BRANDON'S HAT.
- OH, YOU JUST TEASIN' ABOUT THAT.
- YEAH! BE HE'S-- IT'S AFFECTING HIM NOW.
- REALLY? - YEAH, HE'S AT HIS BREAKING POINT.
- I DON'T MIND A LITTLE DRAMA.
IT'S GOOD FOR BUSINESS.
THE HIGHER THE BIDS GO, THE MORE I TAKE HOME AT THE END OF THE DAY.
- ALL RIGHT.
OOH.
- WE KINDA ALREADY GOT DAVE RIGHT WHERE WE WANT HIM.
I THINK I'M JUST GONNA GO IN AND KINDA POKE HIM A LITTLE BIT.
SUCH A CRYBABY.
SUCH A CRYBABY.
SUCH A CRYBABY.
- CRYBABY? - YEAH.
- FIRST OF ALL, YOU GOTTA PUT SOMETHING ON THERE LIKE YOU GOTTA PLAY ON EQUAL GROUND, SO, LIKE, IF YOU GOT A BUSINESS NAME THAT I CAN, UH, BUTCHER - OH! - THEN IT'S ALL FAIR, OKAY? BUT YOU CAN'T--YOU CAN'T-- - YOU BUTCHER YOURSELF LET ALONE, AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE SPEECHLESS AT ME RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE YOU'RE A CRYBABY.
- NO, NO.
- YEAH, I GOT SOME CHEESE FOR YOUR WHINE, DAVE.
- YOU KNOW WHAT, [bleep] YOU, OKAY? [bleep] YOU, OKAY? - ALL RIGHT.
- DON'T PUT [bleep] LIKE THAT ON THERE UNLESS I CAN RETURN THE [bleep] FAVOR, OKAY? - YOU'RE JUST MAD 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T.
- THAT'S RIGHT, OKAY? SO DON'T PUT OUT SOMETHING THAT CAN'T BE RETURNED, SO PLAY ON EQUAL [bleep] GROUND.
- I AM PLAYING OM EQUAL [bleep], DAVE.
- NO, YOU DON'T [bleep] KNOW ME.
- GO AWAY BEFORE IT GETS UGLY.
GO AWAY.
- [bleep] YOU TOO.
- [bleep] YOU.
GO AWAY, DAVE.
- NOW, YOU SHOULD [bleep] KNOW BETTER.
YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO [bleep] KNOW BETTER, OKAY? - GO AWAY.
GO AWAY.
- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? - NO, YOU BETTER [bleep] KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A [bleep] PROBLEM.
[bleep] PUNK.
- YEAH? YOU KNOW WHAT? [bleep] YOU.
USE YOUR [bleep] HEAD BESIDES A [bleep] HAT RACK [bleep].
- COME UP WITH SOMETHING ORIGINAL.
JUST MOVE ON.
- 'CAUSE YOU DON'T HAVE A [bleep] BUSINESS? - NO, I DON'T HAVE THE OVERHEAD.
OH! OH, IT'S BUGGING YOU NOW.
- YOU CAN'T QUALIFY FOR A [bleep] BUSINESS.
- ANYTIME YOU WANT TO COMPARE ASSETS, PAL, YOU'RE ON.
- UH-UH, MY TRUCK'S BIGGER.
I GOT A BIGGER TRUCK.
MY GIRLFRIEND'S BIGGER.
- OH, MY GOD.
[laughter] - I'M TRYING TO LOOK AT THIS LOCKER, BUT I'M SO [bleep] PISSED, MY ADRENALINE'S JUST GETTING READY TO BURST OUT OF MY [bleep] HEAD.
COULD BE ANYTHING IN HERE.
- I SEE SOMEBODY'S GOT, UH, QUEEN ANNE LEGS IN THERE, HUH? OR IS THAT A CHIPPENDALE LEG? WAIT A MINUTE.
CHIPPENDALE OR QUEEN ANNE? - ARE YOU HITTING ON ME? - [laughs] NO.
NOW I'M HITTING ON HER.
CHIPPENDALE OR QUEEN ANNE? - I'D HAVE--QUEEN ANNE.
- NOPE.
- CHIPPENDALE.
- CHIPPENDALE.
MIGHT BE DUNCAN PHYFE.
MY LEG REFERENCES ARE CLEARLY GOING OVER YOUNG BRANDI'S HEAD.
THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED WITH THE ANTIQUE CROWD.
- EVERYTHING LOOKS THROWN IN HERE.
- I KNOW.
I LIKE IT TOO.
- I DON'T SEE ANYTHING THAT'S WORTH ANY MONEY.
- I'M GLAD YOU LIKE IT.
BRANDI DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME ON THE LAST LOCKER.
I'M NOT LISTENING TO HER ON THIS ONE.
- THIS LOOKS LIKE THE KIND OF LOCKER THAT I WOULD LIKE SOMEBODY TO BID DAVE UP AND DUMP IT ON DAVE, 'CAUSE THIS IS A BIG PILE OF CRAP, AND DAVE HESTER DESERVES THIS.
- IF YOU'RE READY TO GO, I'M READY GO.
LOOK, I'VE GOT A NICE UNIT HERE.
WHO'LL GIVE ME HOW MUCH MONEY WHERE? $50 RIGHT THERE.
I GOT 50 BUCKS THERE.
SOMEBODY WANT TO BID ONE THERE.
[auctioneer speaking rapidly] $125, $150.
- THREE.
- AND THREE, THREE.
- $350.
- I GOT $300.
- $400.
- I'VE GOT A BID OF FOUR THERE.
- $450.
- $450! - [speaking rapidly] $500, BARRY? - $500 AQUI.
- FIVE THERE.
- AND $550 NOW.
I'VE GOT $500, $550.
- $600.
- $650, WHERE? I'VE GOT $600, $650 RIGHT THERE.
NOW $700.
ARE YOU $700? SOMEBODY BID $700.
IT'S $750.
HOW ABOUT A BID OF $800 NOW? I'VE GOT $800.
$850, GUYS? $800, $850 THERE.
- $900! - I'VE GOT $900 THERE.
$950 GOING ONCE.
I'VE GOT $900, $950.
$950 GOING TWICE.
- YEAH.
- $950 THERE.
$1,000 THERE.
$1,050 NOW.
I GOT $1,000 BUCKS.
$1,050, GOING ONCE.
$1,050, GOING TWICE.
LAST AND FINAL CALL, FAIR WARNING AT $1,000.
- YEP! - $1,050 THERE.
- OH, DON'T LET HIM DO THAT TO YOU.
- I GOT $1,050 GOING ONCE.
- YEAH.
- $1,100, GOING TWICE.
$1,100 RIGHT THERE.
$1,150 NOW.
- YEP! - $1,150, NOW $1,200.
- COME ON, DUDE, YOU'RE MY HERO.
- $1,300 WHERE? I GOT $1,250 GOING ONCE.
- COME ON, JARROD.
JARROD, I'LL KICK YOU IN 200 BUCKS.
- COME ON, JARROD.
- YEAH.
- ALL RIGHT.
- I'M LYING.
- $1,300, AND $1,350.
$1,300, AND $1,350 GOING ONCE.
AND I GOT $1,300 AND $1,350 GOING TWICE.
LAST AND FINAL CALL AT $1,300.
- YEP! - AND $1,400.
$1,350, $1,400.
JARROD, $1,400 YOU'RE ON.
I'VE GOT $1,350, GOING ONCE.
AND IT'S A-GOIN' TWICE, AND 1,400 BUCKS.
GOING ONCE.
$1,400 GOING TWICE.
- HE CAN HAUL THEIR TRASH.
- SEE IF YOU CAN GET ANOTHER HANDOUT.
- 1,400 BUCKS.
SOLD IT YOUR WAY, - I SHOWED 'EM WHO THE BOSS IS AROUND HERE.
NOW I HOPE THERE'S A PROFIT TO BE MADE HERE.
- WHAT DID I TELL YA? MY WISH CAME TRUE.
DAVE WON A BIG PILE OF CRAP JUST LIKE I WANTED.
- THE COUPLES WERE AT IT AGAIN TODAY.
BRANDI AND JARROD, DAVE AND DARRELL.
I DIDN'T GET A LOCKER, BUT AT LEAST I WAS ABLE TO AVOID ALL THE DRAMA.
- I BOUGHT THIS LOCKER FOR $850.
IT HAD SOME NICE ANTIQUES IN IT.
NOW I'M GONNA SEE WHAT THEY ARE.
THIS LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE OLD, UH - OH, IT POPS UP.
- OH, WOW.
LOOK AT THAT.
- IS IT--WHAT? IS THAT, LIKE, A OUTHOUSE OR? - YEAH, THAT'S A PREHISTORIC TOILET.
- THAT'S ACTUALLY AN INDOOR POTTY OR SOMETHING, ISN'T IT? - NO, NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
- I WOULDN'T BE PUTTING MY HAND RIGHT THERE.
- SMELL THE WOOD.
- THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
- THAT'S HOW YOU TELL, BY THE WOOD.
I GUARANTEE YOU THEY WEREN'T THINKING ABOUT BIG GUYS LIKE ME WHEN THEY MADE THAT THING.
- WHAT'S IN HERE? - I DON'T KNOW.
CHECK IT OUT.
FOOTBALL UNIFORM.
REMEMBER, I COLLECT JOCKSTRAPS.
SO IF YOU SEE AN OLD JOCKSTRAP-- OH, YEAH, THIS IS KAISERSLAUTERN.
YOU REMEMBER THAT GUY.
WOW.
- ISN'T THAT A REPO? REPRODUCTION? - NO, THAT'S THE REAL DEAL.
- REALLY? - I'M LOOKIN' AT, LIKE, 1950s.
- SO DO YOU THINK THIS IS WORTH ANYTHING OR? - THIS IS ABOUT $100.
THE LITTLE TOILET'S ABOUT 250 BUCKS, BUT WHAT'S REAL EXCITING IS, UH, THIS OLD DESK.
LET'S GET THIS OUT INTO THE LIGHT.
THIS IS REAL PETITE, SO I'M THINKING MAYBE THIS WAS MORE OF A A LADY'S DESK OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT THAT SUBBED FOR A "VANTITY" AND A DESK.
YOU KNOW, I'M THINKING THAT THIS THING'S GONNA BE A GOOD 350 BUCKS CLEANED UP.
YOU KNOW, WITH THE COUCH, THAT'S GONNA BRING $250.
THAT CHAIR IS BETTER THAN IT LOOKS TOO.
- VERY NICE.
- I GOT TO BUY A LOCKER WITH SOME PROFIT, AND I GOT TO MESS WITH HESTER'S HEAD.
THAT'S WHAT I CALL A WIN-WIN.
- I DIDN'T BUY THIS UNIT.
I SAID THIS UNIT WAS WORTH 300 BUCKS.
BRANDI WENT AHEAD AND SPENT 475 ON IT.
I HOPE SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.
- THIS'LL SELL FOR SURE.
- YOU THINK SO? - YEAH.
YOU CAN'T FIND THESE ANYMORE.
PROBABLY FOR A REASON.
THERE'S YOUR HORSE HEAD.
- I LIKE THE HORSE HEAD.
[tapping] IT'S KIND OF INTERESTING, DON'T YOU THINK? - BRANDI, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SAW IN THIS UNIT.
- I WAS IN A BUYING MOOD.
- THERE'S HARDLY ANYTHING IN HERE.
AT LEAST WHEN I OVERSPEND, IT'S ON LOCKERS THAT ARE FULL OF STUFF.
BRANDI, YOU KNOW, I'M LOOKING-- - TELL IT, BRANDI.
- I'M LOOKING THROUGH THIS STUFF HERE, AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I'M SEEING THAT HORSE HEAD, IF I'M LUCKY, I GET A $20 BILL OUT OF IT.
- WELL, I THINK WE SHOULD CHECK IT OUT AND SEE IF IT'S WORTH ANYTHING BEFORE YOU-- - I DON'T EVEN GOT THAT FEELING.
- WELL, IF WE WENT ON YOUR FEELINGS, WE WOULD BE BROKE BY NOW.
- I THINK SOMEBODY MADE THIS IN THEIR BACKYARD.
- JARROD ISN'T LISTENING TO ME AT ALL.
BETWEEN HIM AND THAT HEAD, WE GOT THE WHOLE HORSE HERE.
- I DON'T SEE ANYTHING-- I DON'T SEE ANY MARKINGS, OR ANYTHING THAT WOULD LEAD ME TO BELIEVE THIS IS WORTH ANYTHING.
I THINK THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING.
- I'M TAKING IT TO GET IT APPRAISED.
- IT'S NOT EVEN WORTH MUCH AS SCRAP.
WHERE YOU GOING? - I'M TAKING IT TO GET IT APPRAISED.
- DO YOU WANT ME TO JUST CLEAN UP THIS MESS FOR YOU? - YEP, YOU CLEAN THAT [bleep] UP.
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
- NO PROBLEM.
DON'T WORRY, I'LL JUST DO THE HARD WORK! - OKAY! - I BOUGHT THIS LOCKER TO PROVE A POINT THAT I DON'T LET PEOPLE PUSH ME AROUND.
NOW I'M GONNA SEE IF THERE'S A PROFIT IN HERE.
LET'S SEE WHAT WE CAN FIND UP HERE.
WE'LL SEE EXACTLY WHAT THAT IS.
IT'S A MAP.
THE FRAME'S NOT VERY OLD AT ALL.
I'M NOT SEEING A LOT OF PROFIT HERE, BUT THERE IS A LOT OF BINS IN THE BACK.
I NEED TO KEEP DIGGING.
PEOPLE'S CL-- THESE ARE CLOTHES AND A LOT OF BOOKS.
OLD BASKET IN HERE.
THIS COULD BE SOME KIND OF MUSICAL INSTRUMENT OR SOMETHING IN HERE.
SO THIS SHOULD BE SOME KIND OF-- HOLY [bleep].
THIS COULD BE SOME KIND OF MUSICAL INSTRUMENT OR SOMETHING IN HERE.
SO THIS SHOULD BE SOME KIND OF-- HOLY [bleep].
THAT IS.
THAT'S SOME KIND OF BONES, AND IT'S A SKULL.
THIS IS-- THIS IS DEFINITELY-- LOOKS LIKE A REAL SKULL.
HAS LITTLE HINGES ON IT, AND THIS IS LIKE A I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT PART THAT IS.
A HIP BONE OR SOMETHING? THIS IS DEFINITELY A HUMAN [bleep] SKELETON HERE.
HOPEFULLY, IT'S NOT A UNSOLVED MYSTERY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
I THINK THE BEST COURSE OF ACTION IS GONNA BE TO PUT EVERYTHING BACK IN THE CASE AND TAKE THIS TO SOMEBODY WHO CAN TELL ME EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THIS.
I'M OFTEN ASKED WHAT IS THE STRANGEST THING I'VE EVER FOUND, AND I WOULD HAVE TO SAY THAT, UH, THIS IS THE STRANGEST THING THAT I'VE EVER FOUND IN A STORAGE UNIT.
- I SAY IT'S WORTH LESS THAT 100 BUCKS.
- I SAY IT'S WORTH MORE.
- NO WAY.
NOT A CHANCE.
- I SPENT $475 ON THIS LOCKER BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THIS HORSE HEAD.
JARROD THINKS IT'S GARBAGE, BUT I THINK IT'S SOMETHING SPECIAL, SO WE'RE GONNA GET IT CHECKED OUT.
WE WERE, UH, REFERRED TO YOU BY BARRY WEISS.
- OH, BARRY.
LONGTIME FRIEND.
QUITE A CHARACTER.
both: YES, HE IS.
- HE IS.
- WE WERE CURIOUS TO SEE IF YOU KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS HORSE.
- UH-HUH.
WELL, LET'S HAVE A LOOK.
- BRANDI SEEMS TO THINK IT MIGHT BE WORTH MONEY, BUT I'M THINKING WE WOULD HAVE BEEN JUST AS GOOD OFF JUST SCRAPPING IT FOR THE METAL.
- UH-HUH.
WELL, I'M KIND OF GLAD YOU DIDN'T DO THAT, BECAUSE I KNOW A LOT ABOUT THIS HORSE.
THESE ARE THE TYPE OF THINGS USUALLY MADE IN PLASTER THAT YOU SEE OUTSIDE OF A BRIDLE SHOP-- SOMEBODY WHO'S MAKING TACK FOR HORSES.
HOWEVER, THIS ONE IS MADE OF METAL, WHEREAS MOST OF THOSE ARE MADE OF PLASTER.
- SO IT'S PROBABLY, LIKE, A REMAKE OF SOMETHING.
THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PLASTER? - WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, YOU HAVE SOMETHING REALLY UNUSUAL, BECAUSE THIS IS GOLD-LEAFED ON TIN, AND GOLD LEAF COMES FROM FRANCE.
AND IT'S A REALLY BEAUTIFUL EXECUTION OF A HORSE.
- HOW FREAKIN' LUCKY CAN SHE GET? GOLD LEAF FROM FRANCE? - IN ORDER TO OPEN A RESTAURANT OR A BUTCHER SHOP THAT SELLS HORSE MEAT TO HUMANS, YOU HAVE TO HAVE THIS HANGING OUTSIDE OF YOUR SHOP IN FRANCE.
THEY ACTUALLY HAVE RESTAURANTS, AND A DELICACY ON THE MENU IS HORSE MEAT.
- SO IF WE COME ACROSS A PLACE THAT HAS THIS OUTSIDE, PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EAT THERE.
- WELL, UNLESS YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE A NEW EXPERIENCE, YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN'T EAT THERE.
- NOT VENTURING THAT FAR OUT.
- THEY'RE VERY FEW AND FAR BETWEEN, AND IT HAS A RETAIL VALUE THAT PROBABLY WILL SURPRISE YOU.
BECAUSE THIS IS WORTH SOMEWHERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD OF $3,000.
- THAT'S A LITTLE MORE THAN 100 BUCKS, ISN'T IT? I THINK YOU OWE ME LUNCH.
- WHATEVER YOU WANT OFF THE DOLLAR MENU.
- CAN I HAVE CHEESE ON MY BURGER? - I'M ACTUALLY OFFERING TO BUY IT FROM YOU.
- REALLY? - I'M OFFERING YOU $2,000 FOR IT.
IF YOU LIKE THE MONEY, TAKE IT.
IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN DO BETTER, I UNDERSTAND.
- SELL IT.
- WELL, YOU WERE GONNA SCRAP IT.
- LOOK AT ME.
TAKE THE MONEY.
- [laughing] - WE BOUGHT THAT UNIT FOR $475.
- YEAH, I'LL TAKE THE MONEY.
I ALWAYS TAKE THE MONEY.
- NICE DEAL.
YOU BOTH WILL BE HAPPY.
I'M TREATING YOU RIGHT.
AND WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IS THE NEXT TIME YOU FIND SOMETHING GREAT, GIVE ME A CALL.
- I'M GLAD WE'RE MAKING MONEY.
MONEY'S GOOD.
BUT NOW BRANDI'S GONNA THINK SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING, AND THAT'S A PROBLEM.
- I--I--I'M-- I CAN'T STOP SMILING, 'CAUSE - I MEAN, SINCE I PRETTY MUCH WIN ALL THE TIME - [laughing] - YOU GOTTA GET YOUR ONE IN THERE.
- I BOUGHT A LOCKER TO PROVE A POINT, AND I FOUND A SKELETON IN IT.
NOW I'M GONNA TAKE IT TO SOMEBODY WHO SPECIALIZES IN BONES.
TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THIS.
- WOW.
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
AND IT'S JUST IN PERFECT SHAPE.
- HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT, UH, THIS WASN'T JUST SOME, UH, PERSON THAT DIDN'T LIKE HIS WIFE OR-- - [laughs] - AND JUST KIND OF, UH, MADE A NICE LITTLE BOX TO PUT HER IN? - THE FIRST THING TO LOOK FOR IS IF IT'S BROWN AND DIRTY, 'CAUSE BONE'S REAL POROUS.
AND IF IT'S A BODY THAT'S BEEN DUG UP, BEING SO POROUS, IT'S GONNA COLLECT DIRT.
THIS IS, TO ME, OBVIOUSLY PROFESSIONALLY CLEANED, AND ANOTHER THING THAT YOU LOOK FOR IS THE HARDWARE ON IT.
THIS IS NYLON STRING.
USUALLY PEOPLE WHO HAVE DISMEMBERED A BODY DO NOT TAKE THE TIME TO PUT NYLON STRING THROUGH EVERY BONE.
IT'S REALLY HARD TO DO, FIRST OF ALL, AND SECOND OF ALL, YOU KNOW, THEY GOT OTHER THINGS ON THEIR MIND, I WOULD THINK.
- NOW THAT I FOUND OUT THAT THIS IS NOT A MURDER VICTIM, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THIS PILE OF BONES IS WORTH.
- THE SKULL IS ALMOST INTACT.
AND IT'S MISSING FOUR TEETH IN THE MANDIBLE.
I WOULD PROBABLY SELL THIS SKULL FOR ABOUT [stammering] THEN WE'LL GO TO THE NEXT MOST VALUABLE PIECE.
THE HAND.
I WOULD PROBABLY SELL THAT FOR 300.
- 300 FOR A HAND.
NOW, THIS HAND'S A LITTLE BIT BIGGER, SO DOES THAT MEAN IT'S WORTH MORE MONEY? - THAT'S A FOOT.
- OKAY.
- UM, NO, NOBODY WANTS FEET.
THE NEXT MOST VALUABLE PIECE WOULD BE THE FEMUR.
EVERYBODY WANTS A FEMUR.
I'D PROBABLY SELL THIS FOR ABOUT 90 BUCKS.
VERTEBRAE I SELL FOR 20 BUCKS APIECE.
RIBS, I SELL FOR TEN BUCKS.
HALF A PELVIS IS ALMOST WORTHLESS.
THE FULL PELVIS WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT.
YOU GOT CLAVICLE, FIBULA, YOUR HUMERUS.
ALL THESE I'D PROBABLY GIVE YOU $20 EACH.
- I LIKE WHAT I HEAR.
THIS IS TURNING OUT TO BE A VERY LUCRATIVE SKELETON.
- SO, DAVE, RETAIL, THIS WOULD BE LIKE, ABOUT $1,670.
- YOU KNOW, ONE--ONE MAN'S, UH, BONES PAYS ANOTHER MAN'S BILLS.
I BOUGHT THIS LOCKER TO PROVE A POINT, AND NOW I'M MAKING MONEY.
IT'S GONNA TAKE MORE THAN A STUPID HAT TO THROW ME OFF MY GAME.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
THANK YOU.
- MY PLEASURE.
IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE AND AN EDUCATION.
- BRANDI AND JARROD WERE THE BIG WINNERS OF YUCAIPA, WITH THEIR CHAIRS AND HORSE HEAD BRINGING IN A PROFIT OF NEARLY 2 GRAND.
DAVE HESTER'S BONES AND BINS BROUGHT HIM OVER $500.
DARRELL SHEETS FINISHED $300 AHEAD ON HIS LOCKER OF ANTIQUES, AND BARRY WEISS WENT HOME EMPTY-HANDED AND DRAMA-FREE.
AND NOW FOR SOME HORSEPLAY.
- OKAY.
- WHAT HAPPENED? NOT ENOUGH HORSEPOWER? - HOLD YOUR HORSES! - IT'S ALL I GOT.
IT'S MY STANDBY FOR TODAY.
GO UP THAT WAY.
- THIS WAY? - GO FAST.
- I'M TRYING.
- RIDE LIKE THE WIND.
- AAH! - GO, GO, GO, GO--AW! YOU COULDN'T DO IT.
YOU AIN'T JOCKEYING MY HORSE.
KNOCK OFF THE HORSEPLAY.