Stuck in the Middle (2016) s03e07 Episode Script

Stuck with Horrible Helpers

1 Hey, Taylor.
Nice game, Eric.
Right now, I'm just a girl walking through her high school quad.
But pretty soon How will I become the first teenager on Mars? By winning Imagination Gladiators.
It's the state's biggest competition for high school inventors.
The winner wins an all-expense-paid trip to NASA headquarters! Why are you walking like that? - Georgie? - You're walking like a doofus.
- Why? - [BELL RINGS.]
I was practicing my space walk.
I'm on my way to see Ms.
Wilson.
She decides who gets to go to that science contest.
And not to brag, but I've got this.
Besides from being a super-good inventor, I'm also her favorite.
Yeah, everything you just said, it's kinda braggy.
[SIGHS.]
I know.
I heard myself.
Sorry.
Uh hi, Mr.
Delorco.
Are you subbing for Ms.
Wilson today? No.
I'm taking over class for good.
- What?! - I share your dismay.
Ms.
Wilson hit a jackpot on a lottery scratcher and decided to retire early.
I haven't seen you since you tried to convince me you were Ellie Peters.
What are you here to try to convince me of today? What invention I should submit for Imagination Gladiators.
I was thinking about my motion-powered hair straightener.
Oh! And I have a lobster that also takes pictures As vital as crustacean cameras are, I'm leaning towards sending Melissa Carter, who has been Melissa Carter every time I've met her.
Take a look at the project she just brought in.
- A skeleton.
- Not just a skeleton, Diaz.
The future! [AUTOMATED VOICE.]
Sternum.
Clavicle.
I can teach the bones of the body while sitting at my desk.
And even better, now I don't have to learn them all again.
A SkeleTeacher.
Good name.
Melissa can use that.
[LAUGHS.]
Here to help.
I haven't made my decision yet, but this is excellent work.
Ms.
Carter did something every student should she made the world a better place.
For me.
I've got plenty of other inventions.
There's the Slushinator, the Floor Finder, the H2Whoa As much as I'd like to continue our chat, Diaz, I'm busy cleaning the lab and drying the beakers doing the mind-numbing tasks that are the worst part of my job.
I have to find out where Ms.
Wilson bought that lottery scratcher.
Oh, no, you don't.
Mars is my dream.
I'll find a way to win this competition, SkeleTeacher.
Argh! That is a good name! Hey, hey, hey, hey Sometimes it feels like things are outta control Like you're living in a circus Tryin' to figure out your way in the world Where you're at is kinda perfect So turn it up, turn it up Do your thing, don't stop Let the games begin, let's jump right in I wanna get stuck with you In the middle of the party We're just getting started I wanna get stuck with you In the eye of the tornado, rowin' in the same boat I wanna get stuck with you Get stuck in the middle with you I wanna get stuck with you Good morning, ma'am, Lewie and Beast reporting for duty.
- What duty? - With Ethan out of town, we thought you might need some help at work.
Our résumé.
"Frog wrestling promotors, ninjas" If anything, we're overqualified.
Look, I know you guys mean well, but you always end up causing more trouble than actually helping.
Also, "Can burb almost any song" is not a job skill.
Come on.
It's our dream to learn all the aspects of the slushy industry.
We made slushy, drank it, had it in our pants.
The only thing left is upper management.
Yeah.
We'll do anything even the dirty jobs no one else wants.
- That position's been filled.
- Hmm? Meet Slushbot.
[ROBOT BEEPING.]
- Whoa.
- Whoa.
I invented him to do all the things around here that I hate.
Watch.
Cool! Can I ride him around the store? You cannot.
He's my assistant.
And he's doing what a good assistant does make my life easier.
That's it! I know how to get in good with Delorco.
I'll program this guy to do all the annoying classwork he hates to do.
He may not like me, but he's going to love you.
Slushbot, prepare to be Schmoozebot! - Aaah! - What happened? Is that spider back? I'll get the spider-smashing shoe.
No! Abuela just sent us a huge check! She said it's to buy that pool table we gave up to visit her at Christmas.
Okay.
But first can we talk about how your "good" screams sound too much like your "bad" screams? Well, there's only going to be "good screams" from now on especially when I'm schooling you on our new pool table.
Aaah! That was a "good" scream that came out bad.
Hey, you know, I saw a listing for a 3-in-1 gaming table at the community board at the store.
It has pool, air hockey, and, uh hmm I don't know what the third one was.
There was an ad for piano lessons over it.
Ooh! Let's get it and surprise the family! They'll be three times as excited as the would be just seeing a pool table.
You know what? Let's go right now, get it before it's gone.
Ooh, and don't tell anybody.
So, which one of you wants to help me program my robot? Uh, no can do.
We are headed to the hardware store.
- Both of you.
- Oh, yeah.
I always like to have someone else there in case I want a second opinion on a hammer.
But there's no one else I can ask to help! [SLURPING.]
Well, what do we have here, Beast? Looks to me like a desperate señorita.
In need of help, and all alone.
All right.
Guess I have no other choice.
You guys can help me.
We offered, and you said no.
Services are no longer available.
Not even to help me program a robot? A robot?! Our services just became available.
[SQUEALS.]
All you have to do is wear this and do what I tell you.
While you're moving, I'll code it into the computer so the robot learns how to do the same thing.
So, who wants to wear the shirt first? [BOTH.]
I do! I do.
I do, I do.
Next time we wear the same shirt, don't eat egg salad first.
Well, your pointy hair is no party.
Now we are going to show the robot how to dry the beakers.
That sounds boring.
Cleaning is boring.
That's why we're teaching him to do it so Delorco doesn't have to.
How about we do it with some flava! - Whoo whoo - To the left.
- To the left.
- No, that's the right.
No, that's the left.
To the left.
Whoo whoo! How about no.
Remember, whatever moves you guys do, he'll do.
Now it's programmed into the hard drive.
- [COMPUTER CHIMING, BEEPING.]
- [WHIRRING.]
Okay now it's time for the most important task.
We are going to be cleaning Delorco's desk.
Do this.
Yes! - [BEEPS.]
- [WHIRRING.]
Excellent! All done.
Thanks for your patience and help, guys.
Wow.
There's a sentence I never thought I'd say.
Yeah, it's weird hearing it.
You know, you both impressed me today.
You've earned the right to be my assistants at the Slushy Shack.
- Yeah! - All right! Okay, it's done.
Let's go get everyone.
We could.
Of course, the more people that know about it, the more people fighting for the first game.
Ah, you're right.
I'll break.
Looks like that one's already broken.
But the other one is a broom.
It's a used table.
Pool, not in top shape.
We still have two other games.
- Ready? - Mm-hmm.
[AIR WHOOSHING.]
[GAME PIECE CLATTERS TO FLOOR.]
[AIR WHOOSHING.]
How many more little plastic men have to die before we admit we made a mistake? That guy sold us a piece of junk.
We gotta get our money back.
Let's pack this up.
Aah! Ohh! - It's okay.
He's friendly.
- Aaah! Matter of fact, he'll get that for you.
Hmm.
Thank you.
What is this, Diaz? My latest invention.
I programmed him to help out teachers.
Can he escort unwanted students out of the classroom? That would be helpful right about now.
I'll put that in the next update.
Let me ask you a question.
Are you still drying all those beakers yourself? Who else is going to do it? Glad you asked.
Now, this is a great invention.
The kind you might choose for Imagination Gladiators, perhaps? Now, watch as he tidies up your desk.
- [BEEPING, WHIRRING.]
- Wait, what?! I'm sorry.
I don't know what's happening.
Take cover! [SKELETEACHER.]
Femur.
Radius.
Ulna.
Scapula.
Humerus Humerus Humerus Ooh.
Ribs.
[GLASS BREAKING.]
[ROBOT POWERS DOWN.]
Nice going, Diaz.
What part of a teacher's job did you think required destroying a classroom? Destruction? There's only one explanation for this.
Make that two.
Lewis and Beast.
All right, I think we got this place ready to open.
Let's go over our checklist.
Put out cups, check.
Put out straws, check.
Wash hands Uh-oh.
- Eww.
- Eww.
That was my fault.
Shouldn't have put that there.
What did you two do?! It was an honest mistake.
From now, no playing in the frog tank until after our shift.
Someone taught my robot wrestling moves, and it wasn't me.
Here comes the Big Green Machine.
Look out! You're gonna get the Claw.
Ha ha! Go, Claw! [WHIRRING, BEEPING.]
But we turned the robot off before we started wrestling.
I had already turned it off.
You turned it on! - Uh - W-We're sorry.
Never touch the power buttons on my inventions.
Bad things can happen.
They did happen.
Because of you, I'll never get to go to that science contest, not to mention Mars! You cost me a parade! That's it.
I'm done with you two.
We're fired? Of course you're fired! But it doesn't stop there.
I'm done done with you two.
You guys always pull stuff, and I always give you second chances.
Well, that's over.
You're never getting another one from me again.
I-I guess we should leave.
Nah, she's mad now.
Just give her time I've got a fighting robot, and I'm not afraid to use it.
You know, I'm actually glad this happened, because you are gonna learn a valuable lesson - about not getting taken advantage of.
- [DOORBELL RINGS.]
Hey, us again.
So, it turns out The ad said "as is.
" So now what? I gotta go back at him.
This guy needs some tough talk.
Tough talk.
Good lesson.
Go.
First you ring the bell.
That much I know.
Hang on.
I'm a little out of practice being the heavy.
You might have noticed most punishments come from your mother.
We have a system: she lays down the law, I'm the one who stands behind her looking disappointed.
Yeah, I recognize that.
Is this a "Gimme back my money" face? No, that's a "door slam" face.
Awright, I just gotta get this muscle back in shape again.
- We'll come back.
- Yeah.
Totally.
Or we put Mom on speakerphone.
So, we messed up, and Harley's mad.
But it's not like we haven't been in this situation before.
All the time.
But we're sorry, and she's still mad.
Maybe we're not as cute as we used to be.
Don't talk crazy.
Saying we're sorry isn't enough this time.
To win her back, we have to pull out all the stops.
[BOTH.]
Happy morning! [BOTH.]
It's a robot cake! Ohh [SIGHS.]
I've never seen Harley this mad.
She's always forgiven us when we messed up before.
But what if she stays mad at us forever? That would be terrible.
I've already got a line on a dapper quinceañera suit.
I feel awful we ruined her chance to go to that contest.
I don't know why she didn't like any of these things.
There's only one way to fix this.
We cost her a spot in that competition, we have to find a way to get it back.
What are you doing? Oh.
Putting bacon on cake.
I call it cakon.
Mmm! Minds like this can fix anything.
Oh.
Sorry I woke you from your nap, Mrs.
Delorco, but I'm calling from Finnigan's Flowers.
Your son just won a free bouquet.
What kind of flowers does he like? No one ever sent him flowers before and he's allergic? Ohh! Okay, fine.
Forget I called.
Bye.
No offense, but your prank phone call skills? Not good.
I'm trying to find something Delorco likes so I can get back on his good side.
Slushbot became Schmoozebot and then nearly Killbot.
You know, I've always worried about robots trying to take over the planet.
Oh no.
He heard me, didn't he? Don't worry.
He's harmless.
I reprogrammed him.
- [BEEPING.]
- [WHIRRING.]
Arrgh! Lewis and Beast! I guess I still have some work to do.
Harley, I found out what you did.
Now go to your room! Wait.
We're not at home.
Go to my office! No, I have to go in there.
Your mother makes this look so easy.
Pretty weak.
Wasn't buying it for a second.
What are you doing here, anyway? I thought you'd be at school.
What do you mean? I'm working.
- [GLASS BREAKS.]
- Ohh.
That might explain your lack of customers.
Lewis and Beast said they were going to your school, and then they took a bunch of your inventions.
So I figured you'd be there too since they were going to see your teacher.
What? Lewie and Beast are going to see Delorco? That's even more dangerous than Killbot! This is when we turn it all around for Harley.
Once her teacher sees how awesome her inventions are, he'll pick one of them for that competition.
I know I would.
Okay, you cannot wear that.
Why not? You get to wear glasses.
I wear glasses.
Aaah! You coulda said something before the glue dried.
Now let's do this just like we practiced.
Four to five minutes for each piece.
We don't want to rush through the details.
I'm good.
I know these things backwards and forwards by now.
This vaccum runs on a nickel-metal hydride battery.
It features an omnidirectional infrared sensor.
Brushes rotating in opposite directions enables it to pick up almost anything.
The vaccum directs the airflow through a tiny opening to increase its speed and collect dust.
Should I go into the composition of the mechanical bumper? No.
Save that gold for Delorco.
And when we talk about this, throw in that she made it as something nice for Mom.
Teachers are suckers for that kind of stuff.
Okay, you're not good at acting mad, so I'm going to make sure you actually are mad.
I made a list of all the bad things us kids have done that you don't know about.
What don't I know about? [SCOFFS.]
Plenty.
Seven kids means seven times the bad stuff that happens behind your back.
Remember when Rachel said she was visiting Bookchester College? She actually went to a music festival.
I mean, come on, Dad.
Does that even sound like a real college, "Bookchester"? Left your baseball cards out in the rain Ordered Snoozleberries 8 on pay-for-view.
.
Accidentally flushed your cell phone down the toilet Buried her bad report card in the yard Ruined your vegetable garden burying her bad report card in the yard Ate your saved burrito ate your saved pepperoni pizza Cookies Ice cream sandwich Piece of birthday cake with your name on it And that's why the cash register drawer was full of salami.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Everyone knows I'm not good at keeping a secret, so they don't tell me the really bad stuff.
I am so mad right now.
Okay, great, let's go! And it's rush hour, so traffic will be awful.
That'll keep this rage party going.
Aah! Didn't mean to scare you.
We're Harley Diaz's brothers.
Diaz.
Of course.
Don't you kids know how to make an appointment? I'm Lewie.
This is Beast.
Now sit back, relax.
We'd like to tell you all about our sister's inventions.
Not interested.
What about now? Mm-hmm? We just need 20 to 27 minutes of your time, depending on the question and answer session at the end.
- I'll give you one minute.
- But we need Make that 30 seconds.
Okay.
We can work with that.
This one, programmable in three or more axes, jump rope with sisters, heartwarming.
MegaMagnet.
Flip the switch, reverse polarity, duck! Voice-controlled vacuum.
Infrared sensor.
Plays music.
Dance while you clean.
Whoo whoo! High pressure PVC, Mother's Day gift, toilet paper.
Sniff-sniff.
Oh, I'm tearing up.
The end.
Questions? Sorry, we're out of time.
Didn't get a lot of that, but I got to admit, these are pretty intriguing, for someone of any age, let alone your sister.
And she uses only the finest materials.
This is quilted.
Mmm.
He's loading it.
[DISTORTED SLO-MO VOICE.]
Stop! [CRASHING, GLASS BREAKING.]
Cranium.
What happened?! I turned it off! We never turned it on! You told us not to touch the power button! Now you decide to listen to me.
Ohh! And that dent you thought you got in the parking lot, Lewie and Beast made it playing a game called Dent Dad's Car.
That clinched Lewie's win.
- That cost me 500 bucks! - Use that.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Listen up, you jerk.
You sold us a piece of gargage.
No, you know what? "Jerk" is too nice for you.
You are dirt.
No, you're filth.
And I know filth because I scrape it off the bottom of boats every day.
Now you better give us back our money before I start scrapin' you! I'm so sorry! [SOBBING.]
I can't give you your money! I already sent it to my mother for her back surgery.
I didn't know what else to do! It was all I had to sell! And now I don't even have a gaming table to cheer me up.
Hey it's okay.
It's okay.
You know what, here, ah here's 20 bucks.
Go get something nice for yourself.
And you know what, here.
Here's 50 for your mother.
You're a very kind person.
Other than all that horrible stuff you just said about me.
So I guess I failed.
Please.
I would have done the same thing.
What are we going to do? Now we have nothing for the game room.
Next time Abuela visits, she's going to ask us what happened to the money she sent.
Look, your sister's an inventor.
It's only a matter of time before she invents us a better gaming table.
She's already done it with our table table.
Ooh! I know! We put it back together and let Lewie and Beast play with it.
After that, no one will question why it's broken.
And I won't feel so guilty pinning it on the boys because I found out about the salami in the register.
It's okay.
You can come out now.
[PANTING.]
I know I'm no longer in the running for Imagination Gladiators.
But if I clean this up, will you maybe not take me to court? Don't worry, Diaz.
As much as it pains me to admit it, you're the one who most deserves to go to that contest.
Any one of these beats Ms.
Carter's skeleton.
- What? - You heard me.
And you should thank your brothers, They really pitched your inventions well.
- They did? - Yeah.
My brothers? These two? And he only gave us 30 seconds.
We had way more stuff to say.
How did you know anything about my inventions? We stayed up all night researching and practicing.
We had to get you back into that contest.
You researched and practiced? Wow.
There's a sentence I never thought I would say.
It's been a weird few days.
Seems like every subsequent Diaz is an improvement.
[CHUCKLES.]
I can't wait to meet your little sister.
She must be really special.
Oh, yeah.
She's really something.
Guys, because of everything you did for me, I'm giving you what you've always wanted.
A job at the Slushy Shack! - Cool! - All right! What happened? Where is everything? We've been robbed.

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