Stumptown (2019) s01e03 Episode Script
Rip City Dicks
1 Previously on "Stumptown" Sometimes people have problems.
The kind of problems that the police can't help with.
GREY: You, a PI? You can barely find your keys half the time.
Might keep me out of trouble.
HOFFMAN: She's good.
She's smart.
Just don't want you compromising your professional integrity for whatever personal dynamic the two of you might have.
If you want to do this thing for real, put in the hours.
Get yourself a license.
- Jack Feeney.
- All right! We're both on the hook for this money.
- We're talking about half a mil.
- We got to get on the road.
Everything I got is right here.
I'm not going anywhere.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[CLACKING STOPS.]
- [CLACKING RESUMES.]
- ASSISTANT: Mr.
Banks is on his way up.
[FUNK MUSIC PLAYS.]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
[ENGINE REVVING, TIRES SQUEAL.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
Good thing it's trash day.
[WHIP CRACKS.]
- [GUNSHOT.]
- This is a robbery! Come on! You! Wallet! Now! Gents why all the fuss? [GLASS SHATTERS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GUN COCKS.]
Which one of you clowns is gonna buy me a drink? [GUNSHOT.]
[EXPLOSION.]
[MUSIC SLOWS DOWN, STOPS.]
[CLACKING CONTINUES.]
ASSISTANT: Dex "Pa-rye-ose" is here for you, sir.
- Uh, Mr.
Banks? - Beat it.
Excuse me, Mr.
Banks? I just need to have one word Wow! Wait just a minute, young lady! You can't go in there! [SIGHS.]
Pretty crappy business model, making potential clients wait.
You're not a potential client.
You're Dexadrine Parios, 33, former combat Marine on disability.
Ruder than a mule with a mouth full of bumblebees I coined that back in '83 and your checking account's been overdrawn 16 times this year, - as recently as - [KEYBOARD CLACKS.]
last week.
None of your business, but my brother needed that money for a soccer tournament.
Sweet story.
But you're still not a potential client 'cause you're broke.
What kind of name is Dexadrine, anyway? Don't call me that.
How much must parents detest a child to name them Dexadrine? I mean, seriously, you were born, and they took a look at you and said, "Oh, my God.
Dexadrine.
Our child reminds us of generic cough syrup.
" Artie isn't exactly on the Mt.
Rushmore of names.
Look, I'm here because I'm a P.
I.
- Never heard of you.
- I'm currently unlicensed.
I need to get my 1,500 hours of apprenticeship so I can be certified here in Oregon.
There are 522 P.
I.
's in Portland not named Arthur Banks.
58 years old.
Youngest minted detective in Portland PD history.
Served 16 years before sudden retirement.
Been a P.
I.
ever since.
Your first major case was the widow of an Army vet.
You proved that he was killed because of substandard care at a VA hospital.
You fight for the underdog.
I respect that.
What the hell is that? I'm not sure exactly.
I just know it's expensive.
- It's hideous.
- It cost $14,000.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
Huh.
Okay, uh, look, I have done my research.
You are the best.
If I apprentice under you, I'm gonna get more clients.
I can increase my rates.
Sell me.
Why should I take time out of my glorious life to help you better yours, Dexadrine? Dex.
Uh I need the money.
Nope.
I haven't been doing this for a very long time, but I actually think that I could No.
Lemme get my hours, I'll give you a cut of all my jobs for a year.
I'll grab my pants, and let's go.
Hey, Feeney.
It's Grey.
Yeah, I'm just checking in, man.
I I want to see if you left town and if our friend reached out to you again, okay? Hit me back.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Hey, Feeney.
It's Grey.
Yeah, I'm just checking in, man.
I I want to see if you left town and if our friend reached out to you again, okay? COSGROVE: I just got off the phone with the mayor.
Colonoscopy-level joy.
- What did he want? - Nothing much.
Body gets dumped under a bridge, two bullet holes to the back.
My guess he wants to know what the hell we're doing about it.
I'm on it.
I have a lead.
- Bar owner.
Grey McConnell.
- Okay.
Last person to leave a message on the vic's phone.
He's also a friend of Dex Parios.
Have you ever been to Tokyo, Hoffman? - No.
- So, there's this dog.
I don't remember his name, but he would meet his owner at the train station every day after work.
Anyway, the guy passes away on the job, but the dog continues to show up every single day, hoping to see his owner.
Eight years.
Until the dog died.
I get it, Lieutenant.
Feels like Dex is everywhere.
Dex isn't the dog.
Candace is in the middle of a nasty divorce battle with Randall Tapper, mega-rich real-estate developer.
He's got more people in his pocket than I do.
He's constantly dropping loot on charities, opening kids' hospitals, boring stuff like that so he can continue to appear like the Archangel Gabriel.
But it works.
He's got this town greased.
We're here to convince Candace that we can flip the script.
What am I supposed to do? Don't talk.
Until it's time to talk.
Then talk.
- How will I - You'll know.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Artie Banks, elite private investigator.
- [BABY COOS.]
- We spoke on the phone.
My final custody hearing is next week, and the deck is completely stacked against me.
[BABY COOS.]
Why do you guys want to help me? I get 10% of the divorce settlement.
[SIGHS.]
Capped at $200,000.
Look, I've been burned a lot this year by people saying they want to help me, only to back out because of Randall's influence.
I don't know what you're going through, but I can tell you this we can help.
Yeah, um I take care of my brother.
It's just him and me.
My parents, they well, it doesn't matter, but, um, you know, he's all I got.
I can't imagine anyone ever coming and taking him away.
I I-I-I wouldn't let them.
So Okay.
Let's do this.
I can't give up.
If you were to dig up dirt on Randall, where would you start? His business.
Randall will do anything to make a buck.
I want a fresh start, for me and my daughter.
[SIRENS WAILING, DOG BARKING.]
Here you go.
- What's this? - Finder's fee.
You used me to manipulate her, and now you're gonna give me a couple of bills when you could be collecting 200K? Exactly right.
First rule of private investigation manipulation is your best weapon.
Listen, I'm not really good at this mentoring thing, so this is your first and last lesson.
So, take it in, cherish it, breathe deep, and learn to live with it.
Okay, you know, I-I think your client she's gonna be pretty upset when I just disappear.
You still have this case because of me, so here's what's gonna happen, okay? I'm staying, you're gonna sign my apprentice hours when we're done, and you're gonna give me 2% of whatever you collect from Candace.
Are you in it for the cash or for the girl? 20% girl, 80% cash.
There's hope for you yet.
So, now what? We bug Tapper's office.
Is that even legal? For me, highly illegal because I'm licensed.
For you, it's only vaguely unethical.
Well, how am I supposed to get into Tapper's office? We go shopping.
RAJI: No, you're killing me here, man.
We had a deal.
We had Yeah, no.
I'm saying what we need to get done is this right now.
Uh, deliveries for Mr.
Tapper.
- Thandie sick again? - Yeah, I'm filling in.
Yeah No, no, no.
Mr.
Tapper doesn't want a Chagall.
He wants a Miró.
Eh Hold on.
Uh, letters in the bin on the desk, packages in the box.
- Got it.
- How How far do we go back, man? I was in your bar mitzvah! Yeah, for sure.
Oh, okay.
[SIGHS.]
What? Good afternoon, Mr.
Tapper.
What do you got for me? Your afternoon schedule.
Oh, uh, your 4:00 P.
M.
was pushed, and unfortunately, the Miró is no longer for sale.
Everything is for sale, Raji.
- Well, you're new.
- Oh, hello.
- Randall Tapper.
- Oh.
Dex.
Well, glad to have you, Dex.
Eh, tag is still on your jacket.
Oh.
Eh, it's fine.
It's Sorry.
It's really bothering me.
- You don't Oh.
- Yeah.
- See? Not a problem.
- Got it.
And welcome.
My door's open if you ever have any problem.
- Genuinely.
- Thank you.
Oh, I need a beer.
[GRUNTS.]
And new feet.
- The wire's up and running.
- Oh, good.
I hope you didn't mess up that suit.
I want to return it.
You got talent.
You're green, but you could be good, Dex.
[CAR RUMBLING.]
- Hey.
- What the [METAL CLANKS.]
Oh! [TIRES SQUEAL.]
- Hey, is that our - Yep.
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
[CAR HORN BLARES.]
[TIRES SQUEALING, CAR HORNS HONKING.]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Brake it! Brake it! Brake it! Brake it! - [SCREAMS.]
- Brake it! Oh, no! Wheels don't just fall off of cars.
- That was sabotage.
- DEX: So, what? They're They're trying to kill us? Or warn us off.
It was either Randall or some Portland scum activist mad salty I drive an SUV.
Neither of those are comforting.
Dex, as a veteran P.
I.
, I consider myself a leprechaun, and danger is the rainbow leading to the pot of gold.
Yeah, I got it.
Yep.
You know this isn't a real car? It's a golf cart with doors.
Well, it works.
It's not totaled like yours.
[CAR HITS BUMP, TAPE DECK WHIRS.]
baby I'll do it naturally - Whoa, whoa, whoa - It's - It's weird.
Whoa, whoa, whoa [VOLUME DECREASES.]
[SIGHS.]
I know Chaka.
Her uncle was extorting her.
Late '90s.
I convinced him to back off.
Three weeks later, we were sipping Dom in a villa in Mykonos.
She's a very sensual woman.
I'm every woman It's all in me [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
Dex ain't here, man.
Not here for Dex.
I'm here for a Manhattan.
Rye or bourbon in that Manhattan? - Bourbon.
- Bourbon.
Must be nice opening a bar in your hometown.
Oh, I'm not from Portland.
Oh, yeah? Stumptown.
Born and raised.
Me and my buddies we always wanted to open a bar.
Hey, rude question, but I'm curious what's it cost to get something like this off the ground? Rye.
Better, in my opinion.
You did time with Jack Feeney, yeah? Name sounds familiar, but I did time with a lot of folks.
Just asking.
He was floating around Portland also.
Prison's not a frat.
We don't do reunions.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- Funny.
- Yeah.
That's funny.
I don't know.
I mean, you turned things around.
Opened a bar.
I thought maybe he'd reach out to you.
How's the drink? [CLEARS THROAT.]
Meant to come by Tuesday night, but I got held up.
- Were you here? - I always am.
Is there anything else I can help you with? I'm just making conversation.
I'm not that type of bartender.
You know not a big fan of rye.
16 bucks.
All yours.
You know, I know you two don't keep in touch, but, uh Feeney's dead.
Whoever shot him did it while he was running away.
Hey.
What are you doing here? Day off.
Thought I'd just check this place out for real.
- Artie Banks - Detective Hoffman.
Do you guys know each other? Yeah, Artie's a legend in these streets.
But no one seems to know why he left the force back in the day.
I don't know what kind of car you drive, but I'm pretty sure it's not a sick Mustang.
Excuse me.
Yeah, I'm apprenticing or whatever with Artie.
You know, locking in my hours.
Making this P.
I.
thing official? Trying to.
Respect.
What is his deal? He seems a little - Weird? - Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
But he's great at what he does.
Look, you're definitely gonna learn something.
[CHUCKLES.]
Just don't go all big time on me.
No, I won't.
Grey this is Artie.
Artie, Grey.
Hey.
Dex says we drink here for free.
[GROANS.]
Hey.
Something wrong with you? Other than you offering your sweetheart drink deal to every P.
I.
in Portland? - [SCOFFS.]
- If you want me to pay, I'll pay.
- That's a lie.
- It's a huge lie.
[CHUCKLES LIGHTLY.]
I don't know.
You just seem a little off.
No, I'm good.
Dex.
What's up? Tapper just called his bank, made a wire transfer - of $2,000 from his personal account.
- So? That's not Daddy Warbucks real-estate money.
Plus, he called it in himself.
I've been at this game a long time.
My gut tells me whatever's on the other end of that wire transfer is dirt.
Okay.
Well, who did Tapper wire the money to? Stephanie Houston.
STEPHANIE: Look who it is.
America's least favorite white, cisgendered P.
I.
I have no idea what the hell that is, but I'm sure I hate it.
What's up? This is an incredibly challenging chain stitch.
Why is Randall Tapper wiring money to a Portland madam? You're a madam, he's a John, we're P.
I.
's Dude, your patriarchal terms for sex work are killing my vibe.
I know Randall Tapper sent you $2,000 today.
In fact, I dug a little deeper, into your trash bins Actually, I did that.
and my associate found bank statements confirming Randall's been sending you a recurring wire of $2,000.
How many months has that been going on for? My business is built on discretion.
Discretion [CHUCKLES LIGHTLY.]
Is integral to my business as well.
I have a long payroll and really powerful clients, and I know that with one phone call, I could sink your business.
So, we just need you to confirm that Randall Tapper's utilizing your services, and then we can all go back about our respective businesses with discretion.
When I began this, I was just matching college girls with rich friends.
Randall isn't paying me for new women.
It's hush money.
I sent him one girl a long time ago.
He married her.
Why lie to the only people who are trying to help you? What? I didn't lie to you.
You could've told us you were a prostitute when you met Randall.
- [SIGHS.]
- Artie, come on.
That is not true.
Stephanie Houston says otherwise.
You knocked on my door.
Now you're coming at me like this? All right, let's just back off a bit, all right? Can you just tell us what is going on? [SIGHS.]
I was a broke college student from Wyoming.
- Naive.
- [BABY CRYING.]
I wanted to be independent, but living on your own is real.
I had real bills.
So, I met this woman at a bar who told me that she knew people men that were willing to help.
I went on a date with Randall.
48 hours later, I was having dinner with him in Rome.
It was an arrangement until I fell in love with him like everybody else does.
He can use this against you.
He won't.
It would be bad for his image, which would be bad for his business, and that's the only thing he cares about more than punishing me.
I'm gonna lose my kid.
So, do you want to judge me some more, or do what you promised you'd do? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[INHALES DEEPLY, DOG BARKING IN BACKGROUND.]
Huh.
Weird.
Hello.
May I come in? [INSECTS CHIRPING.]
Well this is as I'd expect.
No one throws shade quite like you.
- You want a beer? - I don't drink beer.
Good, 'cause this is my last one.
I-I don't know why you're here, but, uh, I'm on a case right now, one with a pretty fat payday at the end, so There's no payday at the end of this.
Simply pain and embarrassment.
Randall Tapper is a friend.
He tells me there's a P.
I.
named Artie Banks digging in on him.
I'm not sure what that has to do with me.
Do you think I came down here on a hunch? Portland is a small town.
[CHUCKLES.]
What are you into with him? Randall is a supporter of the Confederated Tribes.
That means I don't enjoy folks trying to take him down.
Well, I appreciate you popping in, but it's getting kind of late.
Name your price.
- Price? - For backing off of Randall.
You know, there's a woman his wife whose life he is destroying? I don't get involved in other people's relationships.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, wow.
God, this is an odd way to thank me for saving your granddaughter from oh, what was it? Ah.
It was murder.
Randall is off limits.
I say this with a smile.
Next time, I won't be smiling.
That's too bad.
The righteous man takes his life in his hand every time he utters the truth.
Be careful, Dex.
[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.]
[TELEPHONES RINGING.]
What's the latest on Grey McConnell? I approached him for an informal interview, and he was, uh, evasive.
So, is he a liar or a suspect? That's what I'm trying to figure out.
His alibi is that he was at his bar the night of the murder.
- Oh, what's the bar? - [PEN CLICKS.]
The Bad Alibi.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
That is an unfortunate name.
- [SNORTS.]
- Mm.
- You been able to confirm? - As of yet, no.
You said that he was a friend of Parios, right? I don't think it's a good move to bring Dex in.
She can confirm or deny his alibi.
Yeah, but she's too smart to give up anything at the station.
I do not have another timely Japanese parable to share with you right now, but I hope that you think you're smarter than Dex, Detective.
I can always go and hire her.
Hmm.
Understood, Lieutenant.
All right.
I hate this.
Stakeouts are for rookie investigators.
Well, we had no choice after your bug went dead.
Tapper keeps a strict routine.
Gym, work, golf, dinner, home.
Nothing at all to help Candace, so He still manages to make the headlines.
Let me see that.
Sue Lynn Blackbird came to see me last night.
She told me to back off Tapper.
"Name your price," she said.
We're gonna make so much cash we can wipe our mouths with it.
[CELLPHONE BUZZES.]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
- Hoffman? - HOFFMAN: I am inviting you to dinner.
Oh.
I decline.
Why? I'm gonna cook.
'Cause that sounds like a date, and dates are for normal people.
Besides, I thought that we were, you know, a one-night thing? You do eat, don't you, Dex? Alone, in my car.
Plus, I'm at work.
Oh, yeah.
In perpetuity? Listen, call it whatever you want to call it.
- You're coming over.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Or I'm gonna bring dinner to your car.
Either way, you're eating with me.
Um - So? - [SIGHS.]
Yeah.
Okay.
Tomorrow night.
My place.
Great.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Hoffman's a good cop.
He might know something about our target.
First rule of private investigating - exploit your contacts.
- Yeah? And if this thing with Hoffman doesn't lead us anywhere? First rule of life people don't change.
If Tapper's taken a shine to being a sugar daddy, he hasn't changed.
There's a new Candace out there.
You want to know what the second rule of life is? - Not really.
- It's the same.
People don't change.
They might switch things up a bit, but they always go back to who they are.
- Well, that's it.
- What? Tapper is not gonna lead us anywhere, not now.
I mean, if he's doing dirt, he's gonna be extra careful about it.
We're following the wrong guy.
Tapper's manservant Raji is definitely doing his dirty work for him.
About time we got crunk.
Crunk? [FUNK MUSIC PLAYS.]
Basic GPS tracker.
- Turn it on like so - Mm-hmm.
attaches to the undercarriage of the vehicle.
Wherever Raji goes, we follow.
You want me to do this? Or have your apprentice do it.
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
[SIGHS.]
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
Of course.
Why do I need anything else? [ENGINE STARTS.]
[SIGHS.]
- [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS.]
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
[SNIFFS.]
Mmm.
Smells like, uh food.
Salmon, roasted asparagus, cheddar mashed potatoes.
Wow.
Mom's recipe.
Beer? Yeah, thanks.
Cheers.
And jazz.
It's a little cliché, no? Not just jazz.
It's Mingus.
Okay, not everybody can handle Mingus.
- Hmm.
- Get this fish out of the oven.
What's all this? Murder investigation.
Jack Feeney.
You know him? Why would I know him? He's just been around Portland.
Just asking.
Yeah, no, I've been, uh, [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Been tied up with Artie on this case.
Uh, Randall Tapper.
Real-estate developer? - Yeah, you know him? - He's a friend of the PD.
Two years ago, he outfitted the entire department with new body armor.
All right.
Nice bar.
- Which bar? - Your buddy's place.
McConnell? - Oh.
- He seems like a good guy.
Is he there every night? Well, you should have asked him yourself.
You like your salmon medium? Sure.
[PLATES SCRAPE.]
Yeah, so I think Tapper has a taste for prostitutes.
Wish that were a unique trait for rich, white dudes.
[CHUCKLES.]
Does Grey live at the bar? You should have invited Grey to dinner.
Just making small talk.
No, you're not making small talk.
You're You're working me.
You know that I was military intelligence, right? Do you think that Grey had something to do with this guy's murder? I didn't say that.
Well.
This was great.
- Dex.
Okay.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
Am I really the only one that's working here? Huh? I'm pretty sure you're playing me for intel on Tapper.
- Okay.
- You're leaving? Yeah, apparently I am, because neither of us are gonna get what we want, so If you think I invited you over here just to interrogate you, you don't know me at all.
I don't know you at all.
I'd like that to change.
Frankly, I don't care if you only came to get intel on Tapper.
You're here.
I like that.
[SIGHS.]
I don't want you to go.
You know, Grey had nothing to do with whatever happened to that guy, okay? Yeah, I'm done talking about Grey.
Are you trying to seduce me? [SMOOCHES.]
Is that what I'm doing? It's not working.
Feels like it is.
Really? [SMOOCHES.]
Really.
Listen, if we do this, it's not because you seduced me, okay? It's because I want to get off.
Oof.
If you want, I could heat up the food for you.
Nah, I'm good.
[CELLPHONE BUZZING.]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Hey, Artie, what's up? Raji's tracker brought me to this woman's house.
Picked her up and took her to the Irvington.
A no-tell hotel.
Okay, I'll meet you there.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Thanks.
You know, the only thing missing from this car is a vanity plate that says "Insecure Man.
" Yeah, I tried.
It wouldn't fit.
Well, Hoffman was a bust.
What did I miss? - Raji's parked right over there.
- Mm-hmm.
No sign of Tapper.
Great.
[SNIFFS.]
You smell like sex.
[SNIFFS.]
And salmon.
[CHUCKLES.]
What? [SCOFFS.]
How are you the best private detective in Portland? That's [CHUCKLES.]
I mean Shut up.
Yeah? Why don't you tell me about your date? My date? You sound like my dad.
Tell me about your dad.
Eh I didn't Y-You sound like a dad.
You don't sound like my dad.
Tell me about your dad, anyway.
I don't talk about him, okay? If you say so.
I have a daughter.
She lives in Chicago.
She's a teacher.
We didn't talk for a while, about 10 years [INHALES DEEPLY.]
She had problems, mostly drugs.
But I never gave up on her.
I wanted to.
I hated her for the hell she put me through, but 10 years later, we're finally in a good place.
You, uh You kind of remind me of her.
[CHUCKLES LIGHTLY.]
Yeah? You should call your dad.
Just saying.
You might regret it at some point if you don't.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Didn't you say people don't change? I say a lot of crap.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
There we go.
Okay.
Fingers crossed Tapper comes out.
We put the sidepiece in our vise, get her to flip, cash the check - [ENGINE STARTS.]
- then off to Outback.
- What? - Outback Steakhouse.
Amazing establishment.
[VEHICLE DEPARTING.]
All right.
Raj and Bree are on the move.
- Okay, there he is.
- All right.
Bloomin' Onion, here we come.
- [GUNSHOTS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
[BREATHING SHAKILY.]
- [FREQUENCY RINGING.]
- [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
- Medic! - [SCREAMS.]
Medic! [GRUNTS.]
It's okay.
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
Whoa! Whoa! It's my former client, Danny Dongelberg.
Oh, my God! [CHUCKLES.]
I can't believe it.
Dongelberg.
That's his real name.
I mean, this guy he hired me, he didn't pay me, so I had to, uh [CHUCKLES.]
I had to garnish his wages.
Shut up! It's not funny, okay? Just stop! Are you okay? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
This is, uh This is private investigating, Dex.
You're not doing your job right unless a few folks want you dead.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
DEX: Hey, Grey? - Hey.
- Hey.
Man, I had a crazy night.
I'm on my way out.
A former client of Artie's shot at us.
Cops have an APB out.
Cool.
Is that cool? I don't know.
Uh, yeah, maybe.
You know, you're not doing your job right unless someone's trying to kill you.
That doesn't sound like you.
- I gotta go.
- Hey, why is Hoffman asking about you and a dead guy named Jack Feeney? Oh, i-it's nothing.
Really.
I did time with Feeney.
You know, once a crook, always a crook.
I mean, you know how it is trying to reinvent yourself, right? Okay.
I'll see ya.
- Bye.
- Yeah.
Hey, Frank.
Grey McConnell? Old friends popping up all over the place.
A word, please? - It's fine.
- One was a handsome man Believe it or not, you were my next house call.
Oh, yeah? Well, uh [CLEARS THROAT.]
That's 8K.
It's all the cash I got.
Please.
The rest is tied into the bar.
It's just a little gesture, for the big man.
It's for Kane.
I do visit him from time to time.
I want you to know I'm not Jackie.
- I'm not running.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah, I heard about that.
Sounds like [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
He finally crossed the wrong person.
[BILLIARD BALLS CLACK.]
- I can pay.
- Mm-hmm.
I just need time, but Kane's in jail for life, and I'm not going anywhere, you know? My life is here.
I got people here who depend on me, people I don't want to put in any sort of danger.
$500,000.
- Not $250,000.
- That's insane.
That is what you owe because your pal was an idiot.
Just make sure that bar of yours stays profitable, Grey.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
We know you're Tapper's new love interest, and I'm gonna be brutally honest, this is not gonna end well for you, Bree.
Here you go.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Randall is the first man I've dated who's been up front about what he wanted.
And so was I.
But now, it's more than that.
So, why would I help you take down my boyfriend to help that psycho he's divorcing? Look, you might not want to work with us.
You don't know us.
I get it, okay? But before you say no, you should really talk to someone who knows the real Randall.
How long before he took you to Rome? The morning after our first date.
I had to wait two days.
He told me he loved me on the plane ride back.
I was f-frozen, shocked.
But it was the way he looked at me that finally turned me made me think that this could be real.
He said my dreams were his dreams.
When I got pregnant, he didn't He wanted me to have an abortion.
I wouldn't.
He insisted.
I wouldn't.
He choked me, he slapped me, I hit him back.
That made him angrier.
He tried to make my life a living hell in hopes that I would change my mind.
I wouldn't.
[RATTLING.]
It is the only thing I don't regret these days about [SNIFFLES.]
everything.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
I think I have something that might help.
[LAUGHING.]
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Disgusting.
He's definitely not gonna fight Candace for custody, and he's gonna have to pay, big time.
I'll handle it from here.
You did some really good work, Dex.
Honestly.
We make a good duo.
[CHUCKLES LIGHTLY.]
Rip City Dicks? Oh.
You are a strange strange man.
See you around? [ENGINE STARTS.]
Dongelberg.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
You're a friggin' maniac! You're working for a maniac! You bitch! Hey! Oh! Oh.
What are you doing? Calling the cops for several attempts at murder.
No.
Stay down! I don't know what he told you, but Artie Banks ruined my life.
- Shut up.
- No, I hired him to do a job.
He got proof that my business partner was stealing from me and then sold him the very same evidence I hired him to get.
That's his game.
- [CELLPHONE RINGING.]
- I was made for loving you, baby You were made for loving me - Pick up, you son of a bitch.
- [TIRES SQUEAL.]
ARTIE: You've reached the A to the B.
Please leave a may-sage.
- [BEEP.]
- You were made for loving me - This isn't right! Gah - [MUSIC STOPS.]
You sold the tape to Tapper? - Yep.
- How much? More than I would have got from Candace.
Artie, she is gonna lose her kid.
That's sad.
I really mean it.
But I'm not in the morality business.
I'm a private investigator for hire.
I go where the money goes.
Ugh, God, this is so messed up.
This is so This is so messed up.
I told you exactly what I was gonna do exploit, manipulate.
People don't change, remember? You took me for some doddering, over-the-hill chump.
I played to that.
I told you what you wanted to hear.
I'm not your daddy.
I'm not your mentor.
I'm a guy who can read people really well.
I'm gonna report you.
You illegally bugged a private citizen, put a tracking device on a car.
I didn't do those things.
You did.
- I did you a favor.
- You did us a favor? You are incredibly talented, but there's one thing standing in the way of you being an exceptional private investigator.
You care.
- [SIGHS.]
- One day, we're gonna run into each other down the road on a gig, and you will thank me.
Bon voyage, kid.
How are you gonna look Candace in the eye and tell her what you did? I'm not.
[PEN CLICKS.]
I, uh I never met Chaka Khan.
And I don't have a daughter.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
That's not gonna make you feel any better.
[SIGHS.]
Feeney.
It's Grey.
Yeah, I'm just checking in, man.
I I want to see if you left town and if our friend reached out to you again, okay? Hit me back.
Okay, so I lied to an off-duty cop.
You see my problem? I've got a dead body, you've got a history with the victim, you were in contact with him, and you lied about it.
- Am I a suspect? - You're the only suspect.
Well, why don't you just ask me if I killed Feeney? - Go ahead and ask.
- You don't have an alibi.
- I was at the bar.
- Alone.
That's not an alibi.
Well, I was there.
You're hiding something.
It's not a crime.
I don't want to stick you with a murder if you didn't do it, but I will find something on you if you don't cooperate.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
It's blood from a stone, man.
I don't know what Dex knows about your past, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be too happy to know she's playing house with a potential murderer.
Man, I was wondering if this was all about Dex.
You got it twisted if you think that's how I go about my job.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
You didn't murder Feeney.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
My guys got CCTV feeds from nearby.
We got you going into the bar late that night, getting out early in the morning.
I got to tell you something uh, I also didn't kill Biggie or Tupac.
The list goes on.
It's endless, really, of all the people I didn't kill.
I think you do know who killed him.
I think I'm gonna go.
I think that's my right.
So, this was fun.
I think you and Feeney got wrapped up in something with your prison crew.
Feeney went left, took a couple bullets, now you're left holding the bag.
I put Wallace Kane away, you know? I know him.
Well.
Killed one of my C.
I.
's a few years back.
One of probably 50 bodies that he dropped.
If I was under his thumb, I'd be afraid, whether he was in jail or not.
I'd want help.
Protection.
And you'd be willing to do me a solid, huh? If you help me find Feeney's killer.
Before he kills you.
[SIGHS.]
This offer's for right here, right now.
Tomorrow? I come after you.
Just do me a favor leave Dex out of this, whatever it is you think you're doing.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIREN WAILING DISTANTLY.]
[FOOT TAPPING.]
[SIGHS.]
- Ah! - [TAPE DECK WHIRS.]
[SNAP!'S "THE POWER" PLAYS.]
I've got the power Power [ENGINE STARTS.]
I've got the power Power [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Hey.
Um I've got the power Today, I got beat.
I lost.
We lost.
Artie sold me out, and it [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
It pisses me off, and it pisses me off that my mistake could cost you your child.
But they're not gonna get away with this, okay? No, they think we're just gonna lie down and we're gonna take it.
Yeah, you know, they have the power and they have the influence and But you know what? They're arrogant sons of bitches, and they don't know that women like us have been fighting our entire lives for everything.
Randall's gonna pay, and Artie's gonna pay for what he did.
And I I won't lose again.
I've got the power
The kind of problems that the police can't help with.
GREY: You, a PI? You can barely find your keys half the time.
Might keep me out of trouble.
HOFFMAN: She's good.
She's smart.
Just don't want you compromising your professional integrity for whatever personal dynamic the two of you might have.
If you want to do this thing for real, put in the hours.
Get yourself a license.
- Jack Feeney.
- All right! We're both on the hook for this money.
- We're talking about half a mil.
- We got to get on the road.
Everything I got is right here.
I'm not going anywhere.
[SIRENS WAILING.]
[KEYBOARD CLACKING.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
[CLACKING STOPS.]
- [CLACKING RESUMES.]
- ASSISTANT: Mr.
Banks is on his way up.
[FUNK MUSIC PLAYS.]
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
[ENGINE REVVING, TIRES SQUEAL.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANS.]
Good thing it's trash day.
[WHIP CRACKS.]
- [GUNSHOT.]
- This is a robbery! Come on! You! Wallet! Now! Gents why all the fuss? [GLASS SHATTERS.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GUN COCKS.]
Which one of you clowns is gonna buy me a drink? [GUNSHOT.]
[EXPLOSION.]
[MUSIC SLOWS DOWN, STOPS.]
[CLACKING CONTINUES.]
ASSISTANT: Dex "Pa-rye-ose" is here for you, sir.
- Uh, Mr.
Banks? - Beat it.
Excuse me, Mr.
Banks? I just need to have one word Wow! Wait just a minute, young lady! You can't go in there! [SIGHS.]
Pretty crappy business model, making potential clients wait.
You're not a potential client.
You're Dexadrine Parios, 33, former combat Marine on disability.
Ruder than a mule with a mouth full of bumblebees I coined that back in '83 and your checking account's been overdrawn 16 times this year, - as recently as - [KEYBOARD CLACKS.]
last week.
None of your business, but my brother needed that money for a soccer tournament.
Sweet story.
But you're still not a potential client 'cause you're broke.
What kind of name is Dexadrine, anyway? Don't call me that.
How much must parents detest a child to name them Dexadrine? I mean, seriously, you were born, and they took a look at you and said, "Oh, my God.
Dexadrine.
Our child reminds us of generic cough syrup.
" Artie isn't exactly on the Mt.
Rushmore of names.
Look, I'm here because I'm a P.
I.
- Never heard of you.
- I'm currently unlicensed.
I need to get my 1,500 hours of apprenticeship so I can be certified here in Oregon.
There are 522 P.
I.
's in Portland not named Arthur Banks.
58 years old.
Youngest minted detective in Portland PD history.
Served 16 years before sudden retirement.
Been a P.
I.
ever since.
Your first major case was the widow of an Army vet.
You proved that he was killed because of substandard care at a VA hospital.
You fight for the underdog.
I respect that.
What the hell is that? I'm not sure exactly.
I just know it's expensive.
- It's hideous.
- It cost $14,000.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh.
Huh.
Okay, uh, look, I have done my research.
You are the best.
If I apprentice under you, I'm gonna get more clients.
I can increase my rates.
Sell me.
Why should I take time out of my glorious life to help you better yours, Dexadrine? Dex.
Uh I need the money.
Nope.
I haven't been doing this for a very long time, but I actually think that I could No.
Lemme get my hours, I'll give you a cut of all my jobs for a year.
I'll grab my pants, and let's go.
Hey, Feeney.
It's Grey.
Yeah, I'm just checking in, man.
I I want to see if you left town and if our friend reached out to you again, okay? Hit me back.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Hey, Feeney.
It's Grey.
Yeah, I'm just checking in, man.
I I want to see if you left town and if our friend reached out to you again, okay? COSGROVE: I just got off the phone with the mayor.
Colonoscopy-level joy.
- What did he want? - Nothing much.
Body gets dumped under a bridge, two bullet holes to the back.
My guess he wants to know what the hell we're doing about it.
I'm on it.
I have a lead.
- Bar owner.
Grey McConnell.
- Okay.
Last person to leave a message on the vic's phone.
He's also a friend of Dex Parios.
Have you ever been to Tokyo, Hoffman? - No.
- So, there's this dog.
I don't remember his name, but he would meet his owner at the train station every day after work.
Anyway, the guy passes away on the job, but the dog continues to show up every single day, hoping to see his owner.
Eight years.
Until the dog died.
I get it, Lieutenant.
Feels like Dex is everywhere.
Dex isn't the dog.
Candace is in the middle of a nasty divorce battle with Randall Tapper, mega-rich real-estate developer.
He's got more people in his pocket than I do.
He's constantly dropping loot on charities, opening kids' hospitals, boring stuff like that so he can continue to appear like the Archangel Gabriel.
But it works.
He's got this town greased.
We're here to convince Candace that we can flip the script.
What am I supposed to do? Don't talk.
Until it's time to talk.
Then talk.
- How will I - You'll know.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Artie Banks, elite private investigator.
- [BABY COOS.]
- We spoke on the phone.
My final custody hearing is next week, and the deck is completely stacked against me.
[BABY COOS.]
Why do you guys want to help me? I get 10% of the divorce settlement.
[SIGHS.]
Capped at $200,000.
Look, I've been burned a lot this year by people saying they want to help me, only to back out because of Randall's influence.
I don't know what you're going through, but I can tell you this we can help.
Yeah, um I take care of my brother.
It's just him and me.
My parents, they well, it doesn't matter, but, um, you know, he's all I got.
I can't imagine anyone ever coming and taking him away.
I I-I-I wouldn't let them.
So Okay.
Let's do this.
I can't give up.
If you were to dig up dirt on Randall, where would you start? His business.
Randall will do anything to make a buck.
I want a fresh start, for me and my daughter.
[SIRENS WAILING, DOG BARKING.]
Here you go.
- What's this? - Finder's fee.
You used me to manipulate her, and now you're gonna give me a couple of bills when you could be collecting 200K? Exactly right.
First rule of private investigation manipulation is your best weapon.
Listen, I'm not really good at this mentoring thing, so this is your first and last lesson.
So, take it in, cherish it, breathe deep, and learn to live with it.
Okay, you know, I-I think your client she's gonna be pretty upset when I just disappear.
You still have this case because of me, so here's what's gonna happen, okay? I'm staying, you're gonna sign my apprentice hours when we're done, and you're gonna give me 2% of whatever you collect from Candace.
Are you in it for the cash or for the girl? 20% girl, 80% cash.
There's hope for you yet.
So, now what? We bug Tapper's office.
Is that even legal? For me, highly illegal because I'm licensed.
For you, it's only vaguely unethical.
Well, how am I supposed to get into Tapper's office? We go shopping.
RAJI: No, you're killing me here, man.
We had a deal.
We had Yeah, no.
I'm saying what we need to get done is this right now.
Uh, deliveries for Mr.
Tapper.
- Thandie sick again? - Yeah, I'm filling in.
Yeah No, no, no.
Mr.
Tapper doesn't want a Chagall.
He wants a Miró.
Eh Hold on.
Uh, letters in the bin on the desk, packages in the box.
- Got it.
- How How far do we go back, man? I was in your bar mitzvah! Yeah, for sure.
Oh, okay.
[SIGHS.]
What? Good afternoon, Mr.
Tapper.
What do you got for me? Your afternoon schedule.
Oh, uh, your 4:00 P.
M.
was pushed, and unfortunately, the Miró is no longer for sale.
Everything is for sale, Raji.
- Well, you're new.
- Oh, hello.
- Randall Tapper.
- Oh.
Dex.
Well, glad to have you, Dex.
Eh, tag is still on your jacket.
Oh.
Eh, it's fine.
It's Sorry.
It's really bothering me.
- You don't Oh.
- Yeah.
- See? Not a problem.
- Got it.
And welcome.
My door's open if you ever have any problem.
- Genuinely.
- Thank you.
Oh, I need a beer.
[GRUNTS.]
And new feet.
- The wire's up and running.
- Oh, good.
I hope you didn't mess up that suit.
I want to return it.
You got talent.
You're green, but you could be good, Dex.
[CAR RUMBLING.]
- Hey.
- What the [METAL CLANKS.]
Oh! [TIRES SQUEAL.]
- Hey, is that our - Yep.
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
[CAR HORN BLARES.]
[TIRES SQUEALING, CAR HORNS HONKING.]
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Brake it! Brake it! Brake it! Brake it! - [SCREAMS.]
- Brake it! Oh, no! Wheels don't just fall off of cars.
- That was sabotage.
- DEX: So, what? They're They're trying to kill us? Or warn us off.
It was either Randall or some Portland scum activist mad salty I drive an SUV.
Neither of those are comforting.
Dex, as a veteran P.
I.
, I consider myself a leprechaun, and danger is the rainbow leading to the pot of gold.
Yeah, I got it.
Yep.
You know this isn't a real car? It's a golf cart with doors.
Well, it works.
It's not totaled like yours.
[CAR HITS BUMP, TAPE DECK WHIRS.]
baby I'll do it naturally - Whoa, whoa, whoa - It's - It's weird.
Whoa, whoa, whoa [VOLUME DECREASES.]
[SIGHS.]
I know Chaka.
Her uncle was extorting her.
Late '90s.
I convinced him to back off.
Three weeks later, we were sipping Dom in a villa in Mykonos.
She's a very sensual woman.
I'm every woman It's all in me [ROCK MUSIC PLAYS.]
Dex ain't here, man.
Not here for Dex.
I'm here for a Manhattan.
Rye or bourbon in that Manhattan? - Bourbon.
- Bourbon.
Must be nice opening a bar in your hometown.
Oh, I'm not from Portland.
Oh, yeah? Stumptown.
Born and raised.
Me and my buddies we always wanted to open a bar.
Hey, rude question, but I'm curious what's it cost to get something like this off the ground? Rye.
Better, in my opinion.
You did time with Jack Feeney, yeah? Name sounds familiar, but I did time with a lot of folks.
Just asking.
He was floating around Portland also.
Prison's not a frat.
We don't do reunions.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
- Funny.
- Yeah.
That's funny.
I don't know.
I mean, you turned things around.
Opened a bar.
I thought maybe he'd reach out to you.
How's the drink? [CLEARS THROAT.]
Meant to come by Tuesday night, but I got held up.
- Were you here? - I always am.
Is there anything else I can help you with? I'm just making conversation.
I'm not that type of bartender.
You know not a big fan of rye.
16 bucks.
All yours.
You know, I know you two don't keep in touch, but, uh Feeney's dead.
Whoever shot him did it while he was running away.
Hey.
What are you doing here? Day off.
Thought I'd just check this place out for real.
- Artie Banks - Detective Hoffman.
Do you guys know each other? Yeah, Artie's a legend in these streets.
But no one seems to know why he left the force back in the day.
I don't know what kind of car you drive, but I'm pretty sure it's not a sick Mustang.
Excuse me.
Yeah, I'm apprenticing or whatever with Artie.
You know, locking in my hours.
Making this P.
I.
thing official? Trying to.
Respect.
What is his deal? He seems a little - Weird? - Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
But he's great at what he does.
Look, you're definitely gonna learn something.
[CHUCKLES.]
Just don't go all big time on me.
No, I won't.
Grey this is Artie.
Artie, Grey.
Hey.
Dex says we drink here for free.
[GROANS.]
Hey.
Something wrong with you? Other than you offering your sweetheart drink deal to every P.
I.
in Portland? - [SCOFFS.]
- If you want me to pay, I'll pay.
- That's a lie.
- It's a huge lie.
[CHUCKLES LIGHTLY.]
I don't know.
You just seem a little off.
No, I'm good.
Dex.
What's up? Tapper just called his bank, made a wire transfer - of $2,000 from his personal account.
- So? That's not Daddy Warbucks real-estate money.
Plus, he called it in himself.
I've been at this game a long time.
My gut tells me whatever's on the other end of that wire transfer is dirt.
Okay.
Well, who did Tapper wire the money to? Stephanie Houston.
STEPHANIE: Look who it is.
America's least favorite white, cisgendered P.
I.
I have no idea what the hell that is, but I'm sure I hate it.
What's up? This is an incredibly challenging chain stitch.
Why is Randall Tapper wiring money to a Portland madam? You're a madam, he's a John, we're P.
I.
's Dude, your patriarchal terms for sex work are killing my vibe.
I know Randall Tapper sent you $2,000 today.
In fact, I dug a little deeper, into your trash bins Actually, I did that.
and my associate found bank statements confirming Randall's been sending you a recurring wire of $2,000.
How many months has that been going on for? My business is built on discretion.
Discretion [CHUCKLES LIGHTLY.]
Is integral to my business as well.
I have a long payroll and really powerful clients, and I know that with one phone call, I could sink your business.
So, we just need you to confirm that Randall Tapper's utilizing your services, and then we can all go back about our respective businesses with discretion.
When I began this, I was just matching college girls with rich friends.
Randall isn't paying me for new women.
It's hush money.
I sent him one girl a long time ago.
He married her.
Why lie to the only people who are trying to help you? What? I didn't lie to you.
You could've told us you were a prostitute when you met Randall.
- [SIGHS.]
- Artie, come on.
That is not true.
Stephanie Houston says otherwise.
You knocked on my door.
Now you're coming at me like this? All right, let's just back off a bit, all right? Can you just tell us what is going on? [SIGHS.]
I was a broke college student from Wyoming.
- Naive.
- [BABY CRYING.]
I wanted to be independent, but living on your own is real.
I had real bills.
So, I met this woman at a bar who told me that she knew people men that were willing to help.
I went on a date with Randall.
48 hours later, I was having dinner with him in Rome.
It was an arrangement until I fell in love with him like everybody else does.
He can use this against you.
He won't.
It would be bad for his image, which would be bad for his business, and that's the only thing he cares about more than punishing me.
I'm gonna lose my kid.
So, do you want to judge me some more, or do what you promised you'd do? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[INHALES DEEPLY, DOG BARKING IN BACKGROUND.]
Huh.
Weird.
Hello.
May I come in? [INSECTS CHIRPING.]
Well this is as I'd expect.
No one throws shade quite like you.
- You want a beer? - I don't drink beer.
Good, 'cause this is my last one.
I-I don't know why you're here, but, uh, I'm on a case right now, one with a pretty fat payday at the end, so There's no payday at the end of this.
Simply pain and embarrassment.
Randall Tapper is a friend.
He tells me there's a P.
I.
named Artie Banks digging in on him.
I'm not sure what that has to do with me.
Do you think I came down here on a hunch? Portland is a small town.
[CHUCKLES.]
What are you into with him? Randall is a supporter of the Confederated Tribes.
That means I don't enjoy folks trying to take him down.
Well, I appreciate you popping in, but it's getting kind of late.
Name your price.
- Price? - For backing off of Randall.
You know, there's a woman his wife whose life he is destroying? I don't get involved in other people's relationships.
[CHUCKLES.]
Oh, wow.
God, this is an odd way to thank me for saving your granddaughter from oh, what was it? Ah.
It was murder.
Randall is off limits.
I say this with a smile.
Next time, I won't be smiling.
That's too bad.
The righteous man takes his life in his hand every time he utters the truth.
Be careful, Dex.
[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.]
[TELEPHONES RINGING.]
What's the latest on Grey McConnell? I approached him for an informal interview, and he was, uh, evasive.
So, is he a liar or a suspect? That's what I'm trying to figure out.
His alibi is that he was at his bar the night of the murder.
- Oh, what's the bar? - [PEN CLICKS.]
The Bad Alibi.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
That is an unfortunate name.
- [SNORTS.]
- Mm.
- You been able to confirm? - As of yet, no.
You said that he was a friend of Parios, right? I don't think it's a good move to bring Dex in.
She can confirm or deny his alibi.
Yeah, but she's too smart to give up anything at the station.
I do not have another timely Japanese parable to share with you right now, but I hope that you think you're smarter than Dex, Detective.
I can always go and hire her.
Hmm.
Understood, Lieutenant.
All right.
I hate this.
Stakeouts are for rookie investigators.
Well, we had no choice after your bug went dead.
Tapper keeps a strict routine.
Gym, work, golf, dinner, home.
Nothing at all to help Candace, so He still manages to make the headlines.
Let me see that.
Sue Lynn Blackbird came to see me last night.
She told me to back off Tapper.
"Name your price," she said.
We're gonna make so much cash we can wipe our mouths with it.
[CELLPHONE BUZZES.]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
- Hoffman? - HOFFMAN: I am inviting you to dinner.
Oh.
I decline.
Why? I'm gonna cook.
'Cause that sounds like a date, and dates are for normal people.
Besides, I thought that we were, you know, a one-night thing? You do eat, don't you, Dex? Alone, in my car.
Plus, I'm at work.
Oh, yeah.
In perpetuity? Listen, call it whatever you want to call it.
- You're coming over.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Or I'm gonna bring dinner to your car.
Either way, you're eating with me.
Um - So? - [SIGHS.]
Yeah.
Okay.
Tomorrow night.
My place.
Great.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Hoffman's a good cop.
He might know something about our target.
First rule of private investigating - exploit your contacts.
- Yeah? And if this thing with Hoffman doesn't lead us anywhere? First rule of life people don't change.
If Tapper's taken a shine to being a sugar daddy, he hasn't changed.
There's a new Candace out there.
You want to know what the second rule of life is? - Not really.
- It's the same.
People don't change.
They might switch things up a bit, but they always go back to who they are.
- Well, that's it.
- What? Tapper is not gonna lead us anywhere, not now.
I mean, if he's doing dirt, he's gonna be extra careful about it.
We're following the wrong guy.
Tapper's manservant Raji is definitely doing his dirty work for him.
About time we got crunk.
Crunk? [FUNK MUSIC PLAYS.]
Basic GPS tracker.
- Turn it on like so - Mm-hmm.
attaches to the undercarriage of the vehicle.
Wherever Raji goes, we follow.
You want me to do this? Or have your apprentice do it.
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
[SIGHS.]
[CAR ALARM CHIRPS.]
Of course.
Why do I need anything else? [ENGINE STARTS.]
[SIGHS.]
- [JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS.]
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
[SNIFFS.]
Mmm.
Smells like, uh food.
Salmon, roasted asparagus, cheddar mashed potatoes.
Wow.
Mom's recipe.
Beer? Yeah, thanks.
Cheers.
And jazz.
It's a little cliché, no? Not just jazz.
It's Mingus.
Okay, not everybody can handle Mingus.
- Hmm.
- Get this fish out of the oven.
What's all this? Murder investigation.
Jack Feeney.
You know him? Why would I know him? He's just been around Portland.
Just asking.
Yeah, no, I've been, uh, [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Been tied up with Artie on this case.
Uh, Randall Tapper.
Real-estate developer? - Yeah, you know him? - He's a friend of the PD.
Two years ago, he outfitted the entire department with new body armor.
All right.
Nice bar.
- Which bar? - Your buddy's place.
McConnell? - Oh.
- He seems like a good guy.
Is he there every night? Well, you should have asked him yourself.
You like your salmon medium? Sure.
[PLATES SCRAPE.]
Yeah, so I think Tapper has a taste for prostitutes.
Wish that were a unique trait for rich, white dudes.
[CHUCKLES.]
Does Grey live at the bar? You should have invited Grey to dinner.
Just making small talk.
No, you're not making small talk.
You're You're working me.
You know that I was military intelligence, right? Do you think that Grey had something to do with this guy's murder? I didn't say that.
Well.
This was great.
- Dex.
Okay.
- [CLEARS THROAT.]
Am I really the only one that's working here? Huh? I'm pretty sure you're playing me for intel on Tapper.
- Okay.
- You're leaving? Yeah, apparently I am, because neither of us are gonna get what we want, so If you think I invited you over here just to interrogate you, you don't know me at all.
I don't know you at all.
I'd like that to change.
Frankly, I don't care if you only came to get intel on Tapper.
You're here.
I like that.
[SIGHS.]
I don't want you to go.
You know, Grey had nothing to do with whatever happened to that guy, okay? Yeah, I'm done talking about Grey.
Are you trying to seduce me? [SMOOCHES.]
Is that what I'm doing? It's not working.
Feels like it is.
Really? [SMOOCHES.]
Really.
Listen, if we do this, it's not because you seduced me, okay? It's because I want to get off.
Oof.
If you want, I could heat up the food for you.
Nah, I'm good.
[CELLPHONE BUZZING.]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Hey, Artie, what's up? Raji's tracker brought me to this woman's house.
Picked her up and took her to the Irvington.
A no-tell hotel.
Okay, I'll meet you there.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS.]
Thanks.
You know, the only thing missing from this car is a vanity plate that says "Insecure Man.
" Yeah, I tried.
It wouldn't fit.
Well, Hoffman was a bust.
What did I miss? - Raji's parked right over there.
- Mm-hmm.
No sign of Tapper.
Great.
[SNIFFS.]
You smell like sex.
[SNIFFS.]
And salmon.
[CHUCKLES.]
What? [SCOFFS.]
How are you the best private detective in Portland? That's [CHUCKLES.]
I mean Shut up.
Yeah? Why don't you tell me about your date? My date? You sound like my dad.
Tell me about your dad.
Eh I didn't Y-You sound like a dad.
You don't sound like my dad.
Tell me about your dad, anyway.
I don't talk about him, okay? If you say so.
I have a daughter.
She lives in Chicago.
She's a teacher.
We didn't talk for a while, about 10 years [INHALES DEEPLY.]
She had problems, mostly drugs.
But I never gave up on her.
I wanted to.
I hated her for the hell she put me through, but 10 years later, we're finally in a good place.
You, uh You kind of remind me of her.
[CHUCKLES LIGHTLY.]
Yeah? You should call your dad.
Just saying.
You might regret it at some point if you don't.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
Didn't you say people don't change? I say a lot of crap.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
There we go.
Okay.
Fingers crossed Tapper comes out.
We put the sidepiece in our vise, get her to flip, cash the check - [ENGINE STARTS.]
- then off to Outback.
- What? - Outback Steakhouse.
Amazing establishment.
[VEHICLE DEPARTING.]
All right.
Raj and Bree are on the move.
- Okay, there he is.
- All right.
Bloomin' Onion, here we come.
- [GUNSHOTS.]
- [GRUNTS.]
[BREATHING SHAKILY.]
- [FREQUENCY RINGING.]
- [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
- Medic! - [SCREAMS.]
Medic! [GRUNTS.]
It's okay.
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
Whoa! Whoa! It's my former client, Danny Dongelberg.
Oh, my God! [CHUCKLES.]
I can't believe it.
Dongelberg.
That's his real name.
I mean, this guy he hired me, he didn't pay me, so I had to, uh [CHUCKLES.]
I had to garnish his wages.
Shut up! It's not funny, okay? Just stop! Are you okay? I'm fine.
I'm fine.
This is, uh This is private investigating, Dex.
You're not doing your job right unless a few folks want you dead.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
DEX: Hey, Grey? - Hey.
- Hey.
Man, I had a crazy night.
I'm on my way out.
A former client of Artie's shot at us.
Cops have an APB out.
Cool.
Is that cool? I don't know.
Uh, yeah, maybe.
You know, you're not doing your job right unless someone's trying to kill you.
That doesn't sound like you.
- I gotta go.
- Hey, why is Hoffman asking about you and a dead guy named Jack Feeney? Oh, i-it's nothing.
Really.
I did time with Feeney.
You know, once a crook, always a crook.
I mean, you know how it is trying to reinvent yourself, right? Okay.
I'll see ya.
- Bye.
- Yeah.
Hey, Frank.
Grey McConnell? Old friends popping up all over the place.
A word, please? - It's fine.
- One was a handsome man Believe it or not, you were my next house call.
Oh, yeah? Well, uh [CLEARS THROAT.]
That's 8K.
It's all the cash I got.
Please.
The rest is tied into the bar.
It's just a little gesture, for the big man.
It's for Kane.
I do visit him from time to time.
I want you to know I'm not Jackie.
- I'm not running.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Yeah, I heard about that.
Sounds like [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
He finally crossed the wrong person.
[BILLIARD BALLS CLACK.]
- I can pay.
- Mm-hmm.
I just need time, but Kane's in jail for life, and I'm not going anywhere, you know? My life is here.
I got people here who depend on me, people I don't want to put in any sort of danger.
$500,000.
- Not $250,000.
- That's insane.
That is what you owe because your pal was an idiot.
Just make sure that bar of yours stays profitable, Grey.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
We know you're Tapper's new love interest, and I'm gonna be brutally honest, this is not gonna end well for you, Bree.
Here you go.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Randall is the first man I've dated who's been up front about what he wanted.
And so was I.
But now, it's more than that.
So, why would I help you take down my boyfriend to help that psycho he's divorcing? Look, you might not want to work with us.
You don't know us.
I get it, okay? But before you say no, you should really talk to someone who knows the real Randall.
How long before he took you to Rome? The morning after our first date.
I had to wait two days.
He told me he loved me on the plane ride back.
I was f-frozen, shocked.
But it was the way he looked at me that finally turned me made me think that this could be real.
He said my dreams were his dreams.
When I got pregnant, he didn't He wanted me to have an abortion.
I wouldn't.
He insisted.
I wouldn't.
He choked me, he slapped me, I hit him back.
That made him angrier.
He tried to make my life a living hell in hopes that I would change my mind.
I wouldn't.
[RATTLING.]
It is the only thing I don't regret these days about [SNIFFLES.]
everything.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
I think I have something that might help.
[LAUGHING.]
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Disgusting.
He's definitely not gonna fight Candace for custody, and he's gonna have to pay, big time.
I'll handle it from here.
You did some really good work, Dex.
Honestly.
We make a good duo.
[CHUCKLES LIGHTLY.]
Rip City Dicks? Oh.
You are a strange strange man.
See you around? [ENGINE STARTS.]
Dongelberg.
[TIRES SCREECH.]
You're a friggin' maniac! You're working for a maniac! You bitch! Hey! Oh! Oh.
What are you doing? Calling the cops for several attempts at murder.
No.
Stay down! I don't know what he told you, but Artie Banks ruined my life.
- Shut up.
- No, I hired him to do a job.
He got proof that my business partner was stealing from me and then sold him the very same evidence I hired him to get.
That's his game.
- [CELLPHONE RINGING.]
- I was made for loving you, baby You were made for loving me - Pick up, you son of a bitch.
- [TIRES SQUEAL.]
ARTIE: You've reached the A to the B.
Please leave a may-sage.
- [BEEP.]
- You were made for loving me - This isn't right! Gah - [MUSIC STOPS.]
You sold the tape to Tapper? - Yep.
- How much? More than I would have got from Candace.
Artie, she is gonna lose her kid.
That's sad.
I really mean it.
But I'm not in the morality business.
I'm a private investigator for hire.
I go where the money goes.
Ugh, God, this is so messed up.
This is so This is so messed up.
I told you exactly what I was gonna do exploit, manipulate.
People don't change, remember? You took me for some doddering, over-the-hill chump.
I played to that.
I told you what you wanted to hear.
I'm not your daddy.
I'm not your mentor.
I'm a guy who can read people really well.
I'm gonna report you.
You illegally bugged a private citizen, put a tracking device on a car.
I didn't do those things.
You did.
- I did you a favor.
- You did us a favor? You are incredibly talented, but there's one thing standing in the way of you being an exceptional private investigator.
You care.
- [SIGHS.]
- One day, we're gonna run into each other down the road on a gig, and you will thank me.
Bon voyage, kid.
How are you gonna look Candace in the eye and tell her what you did? I'm not.
[PEN CLICKS.]
I, uh I never met Chaka Khan.
And I don't have a daughter.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
That's not gonna make you feel any better.
[SIGHS.]
Feeney.
It's Grey.
Yeah, I'm just checking in, man.
I I want to see if you left town and if our friend reached out to you again, okay? Hit me back.
Okay, so I lied to an off-duty cop.
You see my problem? I've got a dead body, you've got a history with the victim, you were in contact with him, and you lied about it.
- Am I a suspect? - You're the only suspect.
Well, why don't you just ask me if I killed Feeney? - Go ahead and ask.
- You don't have an alibi.
- I was at the bar.
- Alone.
That's not an alibi.
Well, I was there.
You're hiding something.
It's not a crime.
I don't want to stick you with a murder if you didn't do it, but I will find something on you if you don't cooperate.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
It's blood from a stone, man.
I don't know what Dex knows about your past, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be too happy to know she's playing house with a potential murderer.
Man, I was wondering if this was all about Dex.
You got it twisted if you think that's how I go about my job.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
You didn't murder Feeney.
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
My guys got CCTV feeds from nearby.
We got you going into the bar late that night, getting out early in the morning.
I got to tell you something uh, I also didn't kill Biggie or Tupac.
The list goes on.
It's endless, really, of all the people I didn't kill.
I think you do know who killed him.
I think I'm gonna go.
I think that's my right.
So, this was fun.
I think you and Feeney got wrapped up in something with your prison crew.
Feeney went left, took a couple bullets, now you're left holding the bag.
I put Wallace Kane away, you know? I know him.
Well.
Killed one of my C.
I.
's a few years back.
One of probably 50 bodies that he dropped.
If I was under his thumb, I'd be afraid, whether he was in jail or not.
I'd want help.
Protection.
And you'd be willing to do me a solid, huh? If you help me find Feeney's killer.
Before he kills you.
[SIGHS.]
This offer's for right here, right now.
Tomorrow? I come after you.
Just do me a favor leave Dex out of this, whatever it is you think you're doing.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[SIREN WAILING DISTANTLY.]
[FOOT TAPPING.]
[SIGHS.]
- Ah! - [TAPE DECK WHIRS.]
[SNAP!'S "THE POWER" PLAYS.]
I've got the power Power [ENGINE STARTS.]
I've got the power Power [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Hey.
Um I've got the power Today, I got beat.
I lost.
We lost.
Artie sold me out, and it [EXHALES SHARPLY.]
It pisses me off, and it pisses me off that my mistake could cost you your child.
But they're not gonna get away with this, okay? No, they think we're just gonna lie down and we're gonna take it.
Yeah, you know, they have the power and they have the influence and But you know what? They're arrogant sons of bitches, and they don't know that women like us have been fighting our entire lives for everything.
Randall's gonna pay, and Artie's gonna pay for what he did.
And I I won't lose again.
I've got the power