Sweetbitter (2018) s01e03 Episode Script

Everyone is Soigné

1 TESS: Previously on Sweetbitter Can I actually fail my trails? Of course.
Most people do fail the trails.
NICKY: Shift drinks.
Happens every night.
[LAUGHS.]
It's, uh it's not a shot.
Uh, no.
[CHUCKLES.]
Of course not.
- JAKE: We're not together.
- TESS: Oh.
We grew up together.
Our job, it's hard.
And then we come here, and we burn off our shifts.
And you are clearly burning it off.
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC.]
[SOFT, RESONANT MUSIC.]
Pick up, lamb 1, branzino 2, chicken 3.
- Watch it.
- Sorry.
- MAN: Sausage potatoes up! - MAN: Nice.
SCOTT: Pick up! 19, shrimp 1, strip steak 2, lamb 3.
Oh! Fuck! Are you fucking kidding me? - I am so, so sorry.
- Pick up tartare B5! Big head, little arms.
- Excuse me? - What happened? - I - She's fucking up service! - It burned me.
I'm sorry.
- No worries, man.
- We got this.
- Great.
Will and his new special-needs backwaiter - "got this.
" Asshole.
- Just some chips for a follow.
Re-fire strip steak, medium-rare, Jesus fuck! [PERCUSSIVE MUSIC.]
Great.
Now Chef hates me.
- That's not Chef.
- That's not? No, that's Scott.
He's a sous-chef.
- Where's Chef? - In Miami? He's never here anymore.
Don't worry about Scott.
You're not the first person to ever drop a plate.
- They're hot.
- Yeah.
Hot food.
That's the point.
That's why everyone in the restaurant picks up when Scott calls.
Even Howard.
You'll get it.
You just have to practice.
- I am.
- Ss.
Shake it off.
We've got guests.
Hi, folks, there's a tiny bit of a delay on that strip steak, but hopefully our famous potato chips will keep you busy for a moment.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- And with compliments.
Thick cut and double fried.
Thanks.
- That was a nice flourish.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Thanks.
I'll go get the steak.
You know I am trying, right? I know.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[SIGHS.]
I just dropped a plate.
It's this three-plate carry thing.
Huh.
My Achilles heel was tray service.
Believe me, it was a graveyard of broken champagne flutes.
- Simone? - Yes.
I have Serena on the line.
- Oh? - She was hoping we could squeeze her in tonight.
Show me.
Uh, looks pretty committed.
I could try to bump the Millers - at 8:00.
- No, it's an anniversary.
It was booked six months ago.
I mean, Serena's an alumni and Mr.
Benson is soigné.
Everyone is soigné.
Unfortunately, we can't accommodate Serena on such short notice.
Well, I can talk to Howard if you'd like.
No.
Thank you.
I don't need you to talk to Howard for me.
Got it.
Okay.
Who's Serena? A woman who could three-plate carry.
Hey.
The things that come easily to us are not what define us.
We find the edges by challenging ourselves.
And we don't drink water on the floor.
[SOFT MUSIC.]
Oh, Will, um Could you maybe do me a favor? [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Ah.
You little thief.
- I'm returning it all.
- Mm-hmm.
Is there a leg of prosciutto lying around somewhere - or? - Ha-ha.
I told you I've been practicing.
Hey, watch this.
I'm actually getting pretty good at it.
Hey? Style and substance.
It's very, very impressive.
[LAUGHS.]
Thanks.
I just got to get these plates down.
I'm glad you asked.
Yep.
So Does your really athletic boyfriend have any beers or? Uh, no, no.
This is all my stuff.
- Oh.
- Yeah, no, I-I love pumping iron.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Yeah.
No, it's my roommate's, Jesse.
It's his place, but I, uh I never see him.
He works in finance.
Uh, I've actually never seen him.
- [LAUGHS.]
- Hm.
Nice.
Thank you.
Okay, so let's start with the tripod.
Are you, um are you a rightie or are you a leftie? Uh, rightie.
Then give me your left hand.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
So, uh, these Ow.
Doesn't go that way.
It will.
Um, until your pinkie gets strong enough, you want to rest most of the plate on your arm.
Mm-hmm.
And then the the friction from your skin will keep it in place.
Okay.
But, if you are gonna do it that way, then you are gonna have to get used to the heat.
[CHUCKLES.]
Yep.
- This is happening.
- Oh, God.
Okay.
Mm.
Mm-mm.
That'll do it.
Yep.
Here.
- Ow.
- Look at me.
Today, you thought you burned yourself.
That wasn't a burn.
It didn't even leave a mark.
It hurts for a second, and then it fades.
Okay.
- Ready? - Mm-hmm.
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Good? - Yeah.
- Okay.
Okay, take it from me.
Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Hey.
- Looks who's doing it.
- Yeah.
Is it all right if I kiss you? You know you said - that out loud, right? - I do.
Okay.
Does that work for you? Asking? I was raised polite.
Please, thank you.
Ma'am.
May I kiss you? ["LIGHT BLUE" BY BOBBY DARIN.]
[ROCK GUITAR.]
Whoa, wait.
No, no, no, no, no.
We're practicing.
Light blue Getting darker every day Light blue Adding deeper tones of gray [BREATHING HEAVILY.]
What I wanna know I'm doing it.
[LAUGHING.]
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
Black road I cannot see no end in sight Black road Oh, come on and show me some light Pick up, 15.
Chicken 1, Strip Steak 2, Orechiette 3.
Sorry whoa.
- Behind you.
- What? It's considerate to say "behind you" when you're standing behind someone.
What's wrong with you? I'm working.
Not sure what you're doing.
Pick up, 24.
Burger 1, Orecchiette 2, burger 3, and I need a follow.
Don't even think about it, butterfingers.
- What? - Pick up, Table 24.
Brussels sprouts.
You follow me with that.
And get water.
I'm good at water.
I mean, I made her come three times.
I don't think anyone with a dick is doing that.
Definitely not.
Then why won't she fucking call me back? Hey, Ari, are we friends? I'm thinking about it.
Okay, so Will came over to help me with the three-plate Oh, is that what they're calling it now? I didn't expect it to happen.
I just Whatever, it's not a big deal.
You're the same level.
- Hi.
- Here we are.
There you go.
- Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- Have a lovely evening.
- You're right.
He reminds me of the boys I usually date.
I always go for guys like Will, I guess.
Everybody has a type, right? No, you moron.
Same level like it says in the manual.
Salaried people can't fuck the hourly.
You can't fuck above or below your level.
And you're both backwaiters.
Well, actually, you aren't yet.
[SUCKS TEETH.]
She fucked Will.
Ari.
What? We aren't friends yet.
I hooked up with Will the night before Thanksgiving a couple of years ago.
He go down on you immediately? - Pff.
- [BOTH LAUGH.]
- Classic Will.
- Mm-hmm.
I taught him well.
He is Crocodile Hunter.
He goes down under.
[SLITHERS TONGUE.]
Disgusting.
- HEATHER: Be nice to Will, okay? - Gross.
- He's sweet.
- Who's sweet? Not you.
Willy and New Girl are sweet.
Sweet? Sounds stimulating.
[GLASS SHATTERS.]
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Bartending since you were 12, still graceless.
Thank you, Simone.
Ari, bucket of consumption ice.
You, run that fucking Manhattan before I have to remake it.
I'll burn the ice.
If you burn the ice, who will make the drinks? Feeling tired tonight? I'm a ball of energy.
Oh, okay.
Great.
Back to work.
Yes, Howard.
Not you.
You burn the ice.
Broken glass can never be near consumption ice for obvious reasons.
Nicky, when he's all caught up, will you switch spots with the ball of energy? Thanks.
Burn the ice? Get hot water and melt it.
Okay.
NICKY: Do it again.
So, is that Howard's version of being angry? Yeah.
Robot in a tie.
And are you always in such a charming mood or do you save that especially for me? Nah, it's just Simone's up my ass.
Always or, like, just today? Today.
She wants us to go home.
Back to the Cape.
[WATER SPLASHING.]
I hate the Cape.
What's that? [SOFT MUSIC.]
You have a tattoo.
Yep.
Interesting.
You think so? You go.
I'll pick up the ice.
- You're just gonna cut yourself.
- No, I I won't.
You going to Home Bar later? Yeah.
Hey.
I need a follow on seven.
[ICE CLATTERING.]
[FOLK ROCK MUSIC.]
[SIGHS.]
Is it a pinot grigio kind of night? Uh, it's never a pinot grigio kind of night.
Ever.
Hey, Nicky.
Do you have any of that Barolo left? Barolo's Italy, right? Uh, North? I, uh I have some wine books if you'd like to borrow them.
Yeah.
I would I would love to do that.
- HOWARD: Good evening, ladies.
- WOMAN: Oh, thank you.
- Howdy.
- [WOMEN LAUGHING.]
Simone.
Guess who called me today.
- Tell me.
- Serena.
- Oh? - Hmm.
I got to hear all about Hali and the intricacies of educating your child through the Montessori method.
And though I am generally suspicious when I hear the words "holistic" and "kindergarten" in the same sentence, I am going to make room for her and Fred to come in tomorrow night.
Terrific.
- Put them in my section.
- Absolutely.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night, cretins.
- Good night.
- Good night, Howard.
- ALL: Good night.
Bye.
Hey, Jake.
I think I could use a walk home.
You ready to go? Sure.
I'll get my things.
SASHA: She's in the reservation book.
Simone versus Serena.
Cat fight.
Tomorrow night.
What is the deal with Serena? - Backwaiter turned server.
- Turned Greenwich housewife.
- Mm-hmm.
- She win gold medal.
Simone crawls out of her fucking skin when Serena comes in.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Hey, guys.
- Hey, Will, what's up? - Hey.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
HEATHER: [LAUGHING.]
Did you tell anybody that, um.
Oh, no.
[BREATHES HEAVY.]
Okay, all right.
- She would never.
- Okay, everybody relax.
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC.]
SCOTT: Pick up! Table Ten, amuse-bouche of scallop with saffron cauliflower purée, roasted duck breast with cherry reduction, and roasted baby radish.
Compliments of Chef.
Soigné.
Wow.
Hey.
Scott - Congratulations.
- Thanks.
But it's a two-top.
The chicken stays.
Oh.
Uh, wait, what is "swan-yay"? VIP.
Now go.
MAN: I'm so happy that we could squeeze you in.
HOWARD: Here we are.
Uh, good evening, um.
Here we have Uh, this is the scallop with saffron.
With roasted duck.
With some baby cherries.
With compliments.
You're the new girl.
I recognize that look.
- And that shirt.
- This is Serena.
She is an alumna of our fair institution and this handsome bearded man is Fred, her husband.
He is one of our oldest regulars.
Old? Oh, Howard, I thought we were friends.
[ALL LAUGH.]
You worked here? She was one of our best servers.
She was no Simone.
Of course not.
Who could ever be? I suspect she secretly misses it.
- Mm.
- I miss being the new girl.
Howard sure knows how to pick 'em.
Well, she complimented me on my nails.
[LAUGHS.]
So, that's how you get a job here.
- Ah.
- [ALL LAUGH.]
Look what I found hiding downstairs.
Ah, I have been looking for that bottle for two weeks.
Wherever did you find it? - Oh, right where I hid it.
- Hm.
Mm.
Oh, this is too good not to share.
You have to make sure you have a taste, Simone.
Oh, I already did.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Making such a fuss over us.
I just came to see my old friends.
Hm.
Simone, where have you been lately? Hm, um, um Uh, Table 36 needs a re-set.
Of course.
I'll be right back.
Hi.
Hey.
I need a bottle of Opus.
SERENA: You won't return my phone calls.
I had to make a reservation just to see you? I've known you for 15 years.
SIMONE: We've drifted, Serena.
It happens.
I make an effort.
You don't.
You and Fred are guests.
I I really can't get involved.
You're hiding behind that? This is just a fucking job.
Okay, what do you want from me? I want your friendship.
All right.
You want to know what I think? Leave him.
You shouldn't have married him.
- It is not that easy.
- Exactly.
And here we are.
- Simone.
- Wait.
Little one.
What do you need? Uh, sorry, uh.
- Uh, just, uh - Which bottle? Opus.
Sorry, Serena, but we are in the middle of service.
Right.
The guests.
I think you might spend the rest of your life here.
I can live with that.
Don't let her get to you.
You know what? I will bring the Opus.
You go bus the champagne bucket and bring it to the dish, and I will meet you there.
[QUIETLY.]
Okay.
- Right? - Ah, yes, I made it myself.
[LAUGHS.]
HOWARD: Come again.
And next time I'll bring my son in.
I'll take that.
Open it.
- Open it? - Mm-hmm, go ahead.
Oh, my God.
Ff wha We save these napkins.
Howard is getting hysterical over our linens budget.
She doesn't eat? Don't believe everything you see.
She does this every six months.
She tells me she's gonna leave him.
She begs for my help, and she wants me to pretend like nothing ever happened.
It's exhausting.
Good reminder.
Of the consequences.
Consequences of what? Settling.
How did she settle? Serena? [CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
She was just like all of us.
She was young and without any idea of what was gonna happen.
And she couldn't stand it, the uncertainty.
Some people can't.
Then she met Fred Benson in this building, and she decided.
Do you understand what I'm talking about? Yeah, she decided to marry him No.
To make the safe choice.
Uh, hey, Simone? Table 23, should I fire the entrees? I got it.
SCOTT: Pick up, table 28! Shrimp 1, strip steak 2.
You know, I'd still really love to read those wine books.
I live above Café Margaux.
[MELLOW MUSIC.]
Hey.
- Hi.
- I saved you a seat.
You did.
Thanks.
So, your first day off tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- You want to, um You want to practice folding napkins? I'm just fucking with you.
Let's go see a movie or something like real humans.
I was thinking the Film Forum.
What's the Film Forum? Oh, it's just it's this place where they show movies that nobody wants to see.
[LAUGHS.]
I've been working there since film school.
I didn't know you went to film school.
Yeah.
Columbia.
Yeah, I sort of moved off the pipe dream, but I still like movies.
So, what do you think? A burger and a pretentious movie? Um.
Uh, I I don't think so.
Sorry, I just, uh I just I don't feel, um It's not right.
I I'm sorry.
It's all good.
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN.]
Speak English.
- I am needing you too.
- Yeah, coming.
SASHA: Well, of course.
Take it.
[WOMEN LAUGHING.]
Get home safe.
As my day is done now The dark covers me And I cannot run now My blood running cold I stand before him Before him It's all I can do To assure him When he comes to me I drip for him tonight Drowning in me We bathe under blue light His face in my dreams seizes my guts He floods me with dread Soaked in soul He swims in my eyes By the bed Pour myself over him Moon spilling in And I wake up alone And I wake up alone
Previous EpisodeNext Episode