Teen Titans Go! (2013) s02e30 Episode Script

Real Boy Adventures

2x30 - "Real Boy Adventures" [OPENING THEME PLAYING.]
[MUSIC.]
[DRILLING.]
[THUDS.]
[SAWING.]
[DRILLING.]
Titans! Exciting news! I've just installed a heated hydrotherapy chamber.
Not exciting, bro.
Would you be more excited, if I told you it was a ALL: Hot tub! Now, the hydrotherapy chamber is only for post training soreness.
Let us do the time of the party in a large container of warm water.
The jets feel like tiny florthogs nibbling at your norbobs.
[CHUCKLES.]
Bubbles.
- Everyone out! The tub is for - Hot tub! [COUGHING.]
At least you respect my orders.
Oh, it's not that.
It's not that at all.
It's because I can't enjoy hot tubs! [ALL GASPING.]
A robot body is great for a lot of things.
Looking real shiny.
- Hacking Robin's very personal data files.
- I'm sorry? And being real, real, real tough.
[ROARS.]
But enjoying the warm bubbly embrace of a hot tub just isn't one of 'em.
Sometimes, I wish I was a real boy again.
But I've searched the world and there's simply nobody who can - Pfft! I can do that.
- Excuse me? I can make you human again, 'cause, you know, magic.
Why didn't you ever say anything before?! Come on, it would take way too long to list everything I can do with magic.
- We want to hear the list.
- [GROANS.]
Fine.
Teleportation, telekinesis, fly, read the minds of animals, see in the dark, turn water into any other liquid except for ginger ale summon meteors, devour the souls of the wicked and perfectly crack open walnuts.
- ALL: Wow! - Walnuts are hard to open.
Okay, enough yammering.
I got some hot tubbing to do! - Is this going to hurt? - Nope, I won't feel a thing.
Ha! And you guys say I'm not funny.
But seriously, this will be extremely painful.
Azarath Metrion Zinthos! [SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING CONTINUES.]
CYBORG: The agony! The agonizing the agonizing agony! [SIZZLING.]
[CLATTERS.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
[ALL SIGHING.]
Raven, you did it! I'm human again! Now, I have to warn you, your human nervous system is very sensitive compared to your robot body.
All I'm hearing is hot tub! Hot, hot, hot, hot tub! [SCREAMING.]
I'm being cooked alive! [WHIMPERS.]
- Why was the hot tub so hot? - Because you're human and humans feel way more pain than robots.
Yeah, sorry, Cyborg, but it's Hang on.
Wow! We can't even call you Cyborg anymore, can we? - You can't? - Yeah, bro.
You're just a fleshy guy now.
[SCREECHES.]
Fleshy Guy! That can be your new name! Man, I'm so great at naming things.
I'm not sure I want to be - Fleshy Guy.
- The Flesh Guy.
You don't want to be a Cyborg again, do you? No, I just have a lot to learn about being a real boy, that's all.
That's the spirit, Fleshy Guy.
[CHIRPING.]
I'll be your guide to being a human.
Just follow me.
[MUSIC.]
[GROANS.]
You still like food? Well, you're going to love it even more, Fleshy Guy! [GASPS.]
[GULPS.]
[LAUGHING.]
These snacks taste so much better in my human belly! That's what I'm saying, Fleshy Guy.
[CHOMPING.]
This is so good! [CHIRPING.]
If you think that's good, wait till you try this! Once every 300 years, all major food groups align in the cosmos.
Taco, burger, hot dog, pizza, all coming together as one to form El Burdigato Supreme! [GROANS.]
Oh my human belly.
Huh, maybe we overdid it just a little.
[RUMBLING.]
- What was that? - That's the Burdigato.
[LOUD RUMBLING.]
[GASPS.]
[WHIMPERS.]
[CELL PHONE BEEPING.]
[BEEPS.]
CYBORG: Hey, Beasty, can you come in here for a second? [LAUGHING.]
Why? You need help? [GASPS.]
What are you doing with your feet in there? It's been a while since I've used one of these, okay! [TOILET FLUSHES.]
Great first day, Fleshy Guy.
Isn't being a human awesome? Why is it so hard to move my body? 'Cause you're tired, dude.
Happens to all of us.
You just need to recharge your batteries.
That I can do! [MACHINE POWERING UP.]
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING.]
[CHUCKLES.]
I can see where you might have misunderstood me there.
[ROOSTER CROWING.]
Good morning, the Flesh Guy.
- Ah, you decided to sleep in, huh? - Sleep in? I barely slept at all.
This human body just keeps sloshing around and making weird noises.
Today, I just want to relax and read comic books.
- Ow, what happened? - That is a cut of the paper.
It happens to those of us without metal hands.
Well, I don't like it.
Ow! [BABY CRYING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[THROBBING.]
BEAST BOY: Got to watch those toes, bro.
What is wrong with your weird soft bodies? I can't take this anymore! I I can't-I can't [WAILING.]
Poor, the Fleshy Guy.
I feel sad about his sad.
Maybe I should go check on him.
No, this is a real boy problem.
It should be handled by a real boy! [SOBBING.]
[BABBLING.]
I just want [BABBLING.]
[SOBBING.]
I want my face back [KNOCKING.]
Hey, is there a real boy in here that needs cheering up? [SOBBING.]
Hey, hey, Fleshy Guy, being a human boy isn't that bad, you know.
Are you kidding? It's horrible! I can't imagine anybody living a single day like this.
- Oh, right, sorry.
- Sure, we humans can't fly or lift cars or reach the top shelf without a step ladder.
I can reach it just fine.
You're short.
Hmm.
There are plenty of really awesome things about being human! So go back to being a robot if you want, but first, let me take you on a Real Boy Adventure.
MAN: Real Boy Adventure! - That sounds weird.
- Really? I don't think so.
[MUSIC.]
You could wear sweet pocket protector Real Boy Walk through a metal detector Real Boy You can write your name in snow Real Boy Let your finger nails grow Real Boy I'm a boy, a really real boy I'm a boy, a real cool boy I'm a boy, a really real boy I'm a boy, a real cool boy You can catch an awesome tan Real Boy Play in a big belly band Real Boy [CLAPPING.]
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
You can dance all night in the rain Real Boy Did you know Bruce Wayne is a real real boy? And he's the Batman.
I'm a boy, a really real boy I'm a boy, a real cool boy I'm a boy, a really real boy I'm a boy, a real cool boy Real Boy Real Boy Real Boy Man, I never knew what I was missing as a robot.
Guess I don't need these anymore.
[ALARM BLARING.]
Crime alert! - It is coming from - The yard? They're trying to steal our hot tub! CYBORG: Drop the hot tub, creeps! Whoa, Cyborg, what happened? Cyborg's gone.
I'm Fleshy Guy! ROBIN: I think he was talking to me.
Booyah! - Robin, what are you doing? - You heard me, Booyah! Stop saying my catch phrase! Sorry, it's my catch phrase now.
It comes with the suit.
So the Real Boy Adventure, the song, was all that - just to get my robot parts? - Uh, yeah.
Why would I ever be human when I can have rocket boots? Rocket boots! [RATTLING.]
Uh, sorry, still working out some of the bugs.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Now, H.
I.
V.
E, prepare to [SCREAMING.]
[ALL GROANING.]
[GASPS.]
Don't hurt me! I'm just a weak, little real boy.
[BUZZING.]
[KISSING SOUND.]
Just like you! [MUSIC.]
Sorry, babe.
Put some ice on that.
[SCREAMING.]
Ha! Whoa! Ahhh! Too hot! Too hot hot tub! Now that's what I call a [CLAPPING.]
Real Boy Adventure!