Teen Titans Go! (2013) s03e34 Episode Script

Rad Dudes with Bad Tudes

1 "Rad Dudes With Bad Tudes" [OPENING THEME PLAYING.]
Okay, Titans, I have brought you all to the park for a very important reason.
Starfire is going to blow some bubbles and we are going to see how many we can pop.
Whoever pops the most gets some stickers.
Understood? Then let's do it.
[MUSIC.]
Hey! [MUSIC CHANGE.]
Whoa! [GASPING.]
Check out those dudes! - Those grandpas on the old rollerblades? - Grandpas? They're obviously in college.
Probably super popular too.
[HESITANTLY.]
I don't know.
Only adorable old grandpas who like old things would wear rollerblades.
The rolling blades are indeed unfashionable.
[BELL RINGS.]
Like the bicycle with the large wheel and the tiny wheel from ancient Earth times.
Fresh! [GASPS.]
Look at that air they're getting with those sweet blades! They're so, so [READING.]
What is this word? Rad? ROBIN: Rad is a word that is used when cool or awesome aren't enough.
When you do an impressive trick on a bike, that's rad.
When you shred some gnarly waves, that's rad.
When you kick-flip front side ollie skateboard, that's rad.
No one says "rad" anymore.
Yeah! That's like saying, "Daddy-O" or "bully for you.
" I bet they say "rad.
" I think I'm going to talk to them! [GROANING.]
I can't talk to them.
What if I say something embarrassing like, [TEETH CHATTERING.]
about my thighs? We really don't care what you do.
Thank you, Beast Boy.
I'll do it! Have the fun times with the rad grandpas! [STAMMERING.]
Yo, dudes.
Uh, my thighs are really skinny.
[GULPS.]
I mean, I'm Robin.
[TEETH CHATTERING.]
I'm Randy, that is Chip.
What do you want? Uh, just wanted to say, dudes, your rollerblade style is so rad.
Man, tell us something we don't know! So would you guys mind if I shredded some - sweet rails with you? - Oh, yeah! Great idea! BOTH: Not! [SNIGGERING.]
- But, why? - Oh, I don't know.
Maybe it's because you do not have that cool, funky, fresh style.
Or maybe, it's 'cause you the Mayor of Loserville! Why are you being so mean? Eh, man, we're rad dudes with bad 'tudes.
No apologies! Let's blade out of here, Chip.
We got to practice for the big race down the Demon's Tongue.
- The Demon's Tongue? - Yeah, check it.
Only the most bodacious and dangerous rollerblade race [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
in the universe.
And we win it every year.
No big deal.
I want to blade on the Demon's Tongue.
Hey, like, that is a really good idea! Not! [SNIGGERING.]
So, did you make the friends with the rad grandpas? Let's just go home.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS.]
Come on, Robin.
Don't let those jerks get you down.
Just wanted to shred.
Is it too much to ask? [GRINDING TEETH.]
[SOBBING.]
Oh, how was your day, dear? - Bogus.
Totally bogus! - Hey, watch your language, young man, or it's off to the military academy! I don't even care.
I mean, I don't fit in here.
Why did we have to move? You know why! Coalminers go where the coal is.
Yeah? Well, I hate it here.
And I hate coal! You watch your mouth! Coal puts food on your plate and clothes on your back! - All I want are rollerblades.
- Rollerblades? We don't have money for antiques! I got to get to the mine.
MOTHER: Dear? Oh! Whose blades are these? Who do you think? ROBIN: The Old Man? - He was a rad dude? - The raddest.
Until that racing accident on Demon's Tongue.
Your father was in the lead.
Shredding like a bodacious dude! He was showing off and took the gnarly shortcut.
[GASPS.]
It was too rad.
[SCREAMS.]
Even for him.
After that, the only job he could get was in the mines.
He should have gone right.
Well, what you waiting for, you silly goose? Try 'em on.
AUDIENCE TRACK: Aww.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING.]
[CRASHING.]
[GRUNTING.]
Ah! What's up, guys? What do you think of my new threads? D-uh! [CHUCKLING.]
What are you wearing? Yeah! That is way too much neon! - Uh, not cool.
- Whatever.
Talk to hand, losers, 'cause the face ain't listening.
[ALL GASP.]
Whoa! You are way out of line, bro.
[YELLING.]
I will not speak to the hand! I demand to speak to the face! [MOCKING.]
Whoo! Does my bad 'tude offend you? Well, I'm a rad dude with a bad 'tude! And that's that.
Robin, I'mma be reals with you right now.
I got maz respect for the new 'tude, bruh.
I didn't want to admit it.
But yeah.
That's some good bad 'tude! And I secretly admire the hole pants.
Hey, let's get [READING.]
Just rad! If I catch any of you lames jacking my style, - I will mess you up.
- Don't harsh the weasel! Yeah! [ALARM BLARING.]
- Look, Chip, it's that loser.
- Yo! What's up, loser? I know, you are.
But, what am I? [GASPING.]
What? Never seen a rad dude with a bad 'tude before? Yo, you think you're rad, huh? Then why don't you race us down the Demon's-s-s Tongue? [GASPING.]
[CYBORG GRUNTS.]
[TEETH CHATTERING.]
The D-D-Demon's Tongue? [IMITATING STAMMERING.]
S-S-Scared? [LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
In your dreams! You wanna race? You got one.
Whoa, Robin.
You better chickety-check yourself before you wiggity-wreck yourself.
Indeed! I fear, you are the tripping and will be left in the poor health.
Broskis, the Demon's Tongue is [GROANS.]
the most dangerous race in the world! I don't care.
I've got to do this.
I've got to prove to the Old Man that rollerblading is important! But what if you are the injured? Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, Star.
And what if I don't take that chance? Do I just wake up every day to go to my job in the mines? - What? - [YELLING.]
The point is, I don't want that life! If I'm really rad, I have no choice.
Then it's on! Tomorrow, we race! - Later, losers.
- May the raddest dude win.
- [SLOW MOTION.]
No! - Psych! ALL: Oh! He went to shake his hand but he didn't shake the hand! Man, that dude has a real 'tude! - Where have you been? - Like you even care, Old Man? When are you going to get serious about your life and forget about this rollerblading nonsense, boy? You're not the boss of me! As long as you live under my roof, I am! Hey, I heard yelling.
Everything okay? [IMITATING OLD MAN.]
I won't be disrespected in my own home.
No more rollerblading.
Period.
[IMITATING HIMSELF.]
You can't do this to me.
[IMITATING OLD MAN.]
I have had enough of your 'tude.
You're shipping out to the Military Academy tomorrow! Tell him, forget it.
[SIGHS.]
[IMITATING HIMSELF.]
But what about the big race? It means everything to me.
[IMITATING OLD MAN.]
You need to think about your future.
[IMITATING HIMSELF.]
I am thinking about my future.
My rad future! - I'm not going to the Military Academy.
- Preach! I'm going rollerblade racing.
[IMITATING OLD MAN.]
Get back here now, young man! Yeah! That's right, you tell him, yo! Woo-hoo! [STATIC OVER PA.]
ANNOUNCER: Yo, yo, yo.
Dudes and dudettes.
[CROWD CHEERING.]
We are gathered here today to witness the realest humanoids blade it out at brain-melting speeds.
First one to the bottom is the [READING.]
You're ready for this, loser? I was born ready.
ANNOUNCER: Ready.
Set.
Race! [GROANS.]
[YELLING.]
Help me! - [SOBBING.]
I'm losing it, dude.
- Help him, dude.
It's just a race.
Chip, give me your hand.
- Psych! - No! [YELLING.]
Randy! Chip! [YELLING.]
Chip! [YELLS.]
How's that for a bad 'tude? [CROWD CHEERING.]
- [SNIGGERING.]
I did it! - Yeah.
Yeah, all right! [ALL CHEERING.]
[MOANS.]
Oh.
[GROANING.]
Eat it, lame-os.
It was a meaningless race, yo! [SOBBING.]
Why'd you have to harsh our weasel? You're right.
It was just a race that I won! Loser! [CACKLING.]
[SIREN BLARING.]
[MUSIC.]
You came? It's not quite [SIGHS.]
Here's the thing.
We saw everything son.
[CLATTERS.]
It's seems to me we fought enough I've seen the way we end up It seems to me we've had enough What's he doing? I don't know, man.
I don't know.