Teen Titans Go! (2013) s04e43 Episode Script

Thanksgetting

1 "Thanksgetting" [OPENING THEME.]
[CHOMPING.]
[MUSIC.]
Ah, what a wonderful, traditional Thanksgiving meal.
- The cranberry log.
- Yeah, cranberry.
The yams with marshmallows on top.
[SCREAMING.]
The weird green bean dish that has almonds in it - for some reason.
- I have a condition.
And most importantly, this big beautiful bird.
[KISSING.]
[ALL SIGHING.]
- Man, oh, well.
- [THUDS.]
What's with you guys? - Come on.
It's Thanksgiving! - Thanksgiving is the worst, bro.
[GASPING.]
Thanksgiving, worst? Blasphemy! Literally, every other holiday is better than Thanksgiving.
It is true.
Upon the Halloween one Don Johnson's the fun costumes.
Upon the Easter, one searches for the multi-colored ovoids.
And on the Christmas, you ain't be giving no thanks, you be getting them presents.
Unh! Thanksgiving is just the same food at the same table with the same people getting into the same arguments about politics.
And you should be thankful for that.
Those are all time-honored Thanksgiving traditions.
So we gots to do all that nonsense just 'cause it's traditions? [BANGS TABLE.]
Yes, that's how traditions work! Are not the people you spend the holiday with - more important than the traditions? - Nope.
Now let's celebrate.
[ROBIN READING.]
I have a lot to be thankful for, so I'll go first.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
I am thankful for [IN DEEP VOICE.]
my tight butt and toned abs.
[ALL SIGHING.]
Gross.
- Who would like to go next? - Ahem.
I's got something to be thankful for, bro.
That's wonderful, Beast Boy.
Please, go ahead.
From the bottoms of my heart, I am thankful for poop.
[MUSIC.]
[GLASS BREAKING.]
You can't be thankful for poop! But I am! I'm thankful for all the good poop in the world.
All that awesome poop in France Makes me wanna sing and dance All that poop in Italy makes me feel all wiggly Russia, Egypt, Bangladesh All their poop is super fresh Guatemala, Liechtenstein I'm about to lose my mind Argh! Sit down! Raven, what is something you're thankful for? And it better not be poop.
- I'm thankful for having a friend like you, Robin.
- Why thank you, Raven.
- I, I Wait, was that sarcasm? - Yes.
[GROWLS.]
Starfire, be thankful, and it can't be sarcastic or about poop! I am thankful that the Christmas is only one month away.
Terrible.
Moving on! [ROBIN READING.]
Look at this big beautiful turkey.
- I am just so thankful right now.
So - Bored.
Ooh This glistening bird doesn't excite your senses? [SMACKING LIPS.]
Ew.
Eating of the turkey bird gives me the sleepies.
Because turkeys are loaded with [ROBIN READING.]
Which is basically turkey juice that makes you fall asleep.
[FARTING.]
[YAWNS, THUDS.]
[SNORING.]
- So disgusting and so boring.
- Or we could spice things up and make this bad boy into a turkducken.
It has to be turkey! That's the tradition.
Oh, it's turkey, all right.
[MUSIC.]
A turkducken is a turkey [TURKEY GOBBLES.]
stuffed with a duck [DUCK QUACKS.]
stuffed with a chicken.
[CLUCKING.]
Three birds in one, dude.
Three birds! That is not a turkey, it's an abomination! But are not the three birds superior to the singular bird? No, it's an affront to the holiday! Now everybody eat! [LIGHT MUSIC.]
[SQUELCHING.]
- Argh.
I'm full.
- No, you're not.
It's tradition to eat until you can't eat any more, [MUNCHING.]
and then go back for seconds.
Ah, but the stomachs are at the capacity.
Ah, did-a-did-a-da, I don't wanna hear it.
It's Thanksgiving! Eat until you regret everything you've put into your body.
[SLURPING AND CHOMPING.]
[ALL SOBBING.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
[ROBIN READING.]
- Are you sure that's a good idea, bro? - Yes.
Cyborg, why don't you share a political opinion? Fine.
I think the government should do everything it can to make sure its people are well cared for.
[SILENCE.]
[ALL SCREAMING.]
You are out of your mind, Cyborg! Out of your mind! You'd sell us all out to them fat cats up in Washington! [GASPS.]
The obese cats are not to be shamed, - and I will fisticuff anyone who disagrees.
- Power trip! [HEAVY METAL MUSIC.]
[ALL SHOUTING INCOHERENTLY.]
[ALL PANTING.]
Thanksgiving is exhausting.
Maybe it's time for a new holiday! - With the new traditions.
- On traditional traditions.
A holiday where we can be as ungrateful as we want.
The opposite of Thanksgiving! [ALL READING.]
Whoa, Titans, you can't [SCOFFS.]
change Thanksgiving traditions.
Watch us.
Come on, guys, we got some Thanksgetting to do.
[FAST-PACED MUSIC.]
[LAUGHING.]
Pink cactuses, blinking lights, cat balloons?! Where are the earth tones? There's no autumnal theme! Thanksgiving don't need no autumnal theme.
That's right.
It's whatever you want it to be, baby.
Now what What are you wearing? Oh, that'll just be our Thanksgetting costumes, fool.
Holidays are more fun with costumes.
[LOUD TRUMPETING.]
Now let us create the new holiday traditions.
[SCREAMING.]
[READING.]
[EXPLOSION.]
[BEAST BOY CONTINUES READING.]
I'll go first.
I ain't thankful for paper cuts.
[GRUNTING.]
Ow! Ow! [GRUNTING.]
[GROANS.]
I am not thankful for bees.
That's right, I said it.
[BUZZING.]
You heard me.
I'm not thankful for sunburns.
See ya.
[EXPLOSION.]
Argh, this is wrong.
All wrong! You've doomed us! And I am not the thankful for Robin's stinky attitude! [ALL WHOOPING.]
Pee-yew! You know we can't survive without the sun, right? [READING.]
[EXPLOSION.]
[RAVEN CONTINUES READING.]
[GLASS BREAKING.]
Phew, doggie, look at this spread.
I showed you the carving of the pizza.
Imma gonna go with the marshmallow cereal, but I'mma eat only all the marshmallows.
[LAUGHS.]
These dishes are inappropriate! Can we have some cranberries from a can? ALL: No! Oh, Cranberry.
[SAD MUSIC.]
[READING.]
[EXPLOSION.]
[READING.]
This is the best part of Thanksgetting day.
The getting! Now let's open these babies up.
ALL: Woo-hoo! [ALL CHEERING.]
An electric comb! - Sick! - Whoa, electric kicks! [GASPS.]
The electric scratching post! [SCREAMS.]
- Meow.
- Ho-ho, kale chips.
That's actually really thoughtful.
Who should I thank? You ain't thanking no one, fool! That's the reason for the season.
Thanksgetting is the greatest holiday ever! [ALL CHEERING.]
[LOUD THUD.]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
What's happening? [GROWLING.]
I think we're about to pay the price for breaking tradition.
[RUMBLING.]
[TURKEY GOBBLING.]
ROBIN: It's the Thanksgiving turkey.
- What's that fool doing here? - I'm here for vengeance.
[TURKEY GOBBLING.]
You disrespected my traditions.
You barely said thanks.
[GOBBLING.]
And you made up your own [GOBBLING.]
holiday.
[TURKEY GOBBLING.]
Please, Thanksgiving Turkey, forgive my friends.
They didn't understand the importance of the traditions.
Because they're boring, yo.
Of course they're boring, [GOBBLING.]
but you follow them anyway.
[TURKEY GOBBLING.]
Now prepare to feel the wrath of Thanksgiving justice! [TURKEY GOBBLING.]
[POPPING.]
Gross! What is that? I don't know, but I'm feeling [YAWNS.]
- Drowsy.
- [SIGHS.]
It is the tryptophan.
[ALL YAWNING.]
And now [EXPLOSION.]
[TURKEY GOBBLING.]
time to stuff these birds.
- Wait.
- You can't save them now.
I realize that.
But before you stuff them, I just need to say one last thing.
I think the president is doing a great job! [GLASS BREAKS.]
[TURKEY GOBBLING.]
You are out of your mind.
[GOBBLING IN FRIGHT.]
Hey, Turkey, stuff this! [SQUAWKING.]
[MUSIC.]
[YELLING.]
[TIMER TICKING.]
[TIMER DINGS.]
[EXPLOSION.]
[GOBBLING.]
I'm an abomination.
You are turkduck done.
[SCREAMS.]
[SPLASH.]
Enjoy your watery grav-y.
Whoa, that's pretty dark.
[GOBBLING AND SPLASHING.]
Ha, well, I hope we all learned some valuable lessons today.
[IN STARFIRE'S VOICE.]
We sure did, friend Robin.
Every time we don't listen to you, you have to save the day with your big strong muscles.
[CHUCKLING.]
That's right, Star.
And what about you, Cyborg? [IN CYBORG'S VOICE.]
I learned how important traditional meals are to the holidays.
Booyah! [IN BEAST BOY'S VOICE.]
And I'm not thankful for poop anymore.
I'm glad we're finally on the same page.
[IN RAVEN'S VOICE.]
Sorry for doubting you, Robin.
From now on, I'm just gonna keep my big mouth shut.
Ah, it warms my heart to have such wonderful obedient friends to share this magical holiday with.
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! [TURKEY GOBBLING.]
[MUSIC THEME.]