Teen Titans Go! (2013) s05e01 Episode Script

The Scoop

1 Go! [TITLE MUSIC] T E E N T I T A N S Teen Titans let's go [scratching] T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [MUSIC] Hello, the friend.
[IN SWEDISH ACCENT] Who wants the joke? Oh, yes.
I do want the joke very much.
[IN SWEDISH ACCENT] What did the waffle-maker say at the baseball game? What did the waffle-maker say at the baseball game? [IN SWEDISH ACCENT] Batter up! [PURRS AND LAUGHS] Yo, Star.
Why is you always hanging out with just, like, things? I simply pursue the relationships with those I find interesting.
Star, you can't be fiends with inanimate objects.
My friends are of my own choosing.
And I am the fiercely loyal to my friends, whether they be a person or the maker of the waffles.
Okay, being friends with things is weird and you should stop doing it.
[BUZZING] - No! - Come on.
We're way more fun than a waffle-maker.
This calls for a group activity.
Let's go beat up the H.
I.
V.
E.
- Yeah, all right.
- Yes! [SIGHS] I'll miss you.
[SOMBER MUSIC] [IN SWEDISH ACCENT] I'll miss you too.
[SNIFFLING] What are you up to this time, H.
I.
V.
E.
? Something evil, that's for sure.
They won't get away with it this time.
Let's get a closer look.
[ALL GASP] [MAN READING OUT] CYBORG: Those sickos are having an ice cream social.
Them bad guys don't deserves an ice cream after being such bad guys all the time.
[MUSIC] Scoop! I say we remind them of their place in society.
We must crush the villain scum criminals into the dirt where they are belonging! That's the spirit, Star.
Titans! [SCREAMS] GIZMO: This is private property! [LASERS FIRING] [EXPLOSION] We were just eating ice cream.
- Quiet, criminal! - Maybe next time you'll think twice before acting like a normal member of society.
[GIGGLES] Hey, how about you and me blow this popsicle stand and find somewhere else a little more interesting? - [GIGGLES] Oh, scoop.
- Yo, Star.
What you got there? - The nothing.
- Wait, you're not trying to befriend another inanimate object, are you? Oh, no, no.
This is the evidence item that can be used to incriminate the H.
I.
V.
E.
That can put those creeps in jail for years.
Better bag it and tag it.
No! No, no, no, no The thank you.
The thank you.
I will do the carrying.
Thank you very much.
Are you sure you're not [YELLS] Thank you very much! Oh, scoop.
The others have told me I should not be friends with the things.
But I am truly smitten by your charms.
Ah, forget about them.
They are the goons.
Come on, let's go have the fun.
Yes.
Let us go have the most wonderful of the times together.
[GIGGLES] [UPBEAT MUSIC] Oh, the scoop.
We have had the most splendid of days.
Hey, Starfire, can I be your the BFF? We will always be the best of friends.
I love you, the Starfire.
And I love you, the scoop.
[SMOOCHES] Good night.
[GASPING AND PANTING] [DRAMATIC MUSIC] The scoop! [SNARLS] Hey, any of you guys remember how the Charles in Charge theme goes? [MUFFLED SPEAKING] No, no.
That wasn't it.
[MUFFLED SPEAKING CONTINUES] That's not it, either.
I think it was like [EXCLAIMS] [ALL GROANING] [MUSIC] Which one of you stole my scoop? [ALL CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] [SHUSHES] Scoop is a very dear friend.
And I will do whatever is necessary to retrieve it.
We didn't take your scoop, Star.
We promise.
I believe you.
But my friend here is not so easily the convinced.
[MUSIC] [IN SWEDISH ACCENT] All right, you bags of dirt.
Tell me where the scoop is.
I told you being friends with things is weird.
Hey! No more lip from you, the missy, unless you got something to tell me about our missing friend.
- No.
- Come on, Star.
We don't know anything.
Star? Star? You are going the talking with me, bub.
- Star [YELPS] - You've got something to hide, don't you? - Ow! - Where is the scoop? - [PANICKED] I don't know.
- Where is the!!! [SOBBING] I don't know.
We are going nowhere till I get the answers.
How about you, big boy? You've got something you want to tell me?! I don't know, man.
Check the tapes.
The security tapes.
Ooh, the tapes.
[OBJECTS CLATTERING] [GROWLING] The Gizmo.
[DIAL TONE] GIZMO: You got the Giz.
Listen to me, the Gizmo.
If you let my scoop go, that will be the ending of it.
But if you don't, I have a certain set of the skills.
The skills that make a nightmare for the villains like you.
So, what is it going to be, the Gizmo?! Good luck.
[HANGS UP] [YELLS] [MUSIC] Gizmo, you made a big mistake taking my scoop.
It will be your last [GASPING] The trickery.
[ALARM BLARING] [ALL LAUGHING] I can't believe you came after this dumb scoop.
The scoop is my friend.
You can't be friends with a thing.
That's stupid.
[ALL LAUGHING] How could Star choose an inanimate object over us? I knows, it's ridiculous.
That's like us choosing this couch over her.
This big ol' fluffy, comfy couch that I love so much.
Or this TV.
My beautiful widescreen window into the world of entertainment that I cannot live without.
Or this book that I just can't put down.
Or this mirror that reflects my handsome face.
[SCREAMING] Wow.
We all get more satisfaction from our things than people.
Just like Star.
We just don't admit it out loud because we're afraid people will think we are awful.
It's trues.
I love so many things more than you fools.
[ALARM BLARING] Crime alert.
It's the H.
I.
V.
E.
, and they've got our friend.
Titans, go! - Give me back the scoop! - You should worry about yourself.
You broke into our house.
Multiple times.
Because you are the villains.
We were just having an ice cream social.
You won't get away with this! [LAUGHS] Too bad your ice cream scoop friend can't save you.
Oh, yeah? We'll see about that, you goons.
[EXCLAIMS] [MUSIC] [EXCLAIMS] Ha, hiya! [GRUNTING] [GRUNTS] My scoop! It's over, H.
I.
V.
E.
[GRUNTING] Stop breaking into our house.
You're a little late to the parry, fellas.
I mopped the floor with 'em.
You all came here to save me and the scoop? But you said that things were unworthy of the friendship.
We thought so.
But we were wrong.
- You mean - Yeah, mama.
Being friends with things is cool.
Yeah.
I wouldn't be able to live without my TV.
- Or my book.
- Or my mirror.
You truly understand me.
It is good to have the great friends.
Almost as much as it is to have great things.
Yeah, let's hear it with the things.
ALL: Things!