Teen Titans Go! (2013) s05e27 Episode Script

Little Elvis

1 [ANIMAL SOUNDS.]
Go! [TITLE MUSIC.]
T-E-E-N T-I-T-A-N-S Teen Titans let's go [SCRATCHING.]
T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [EXPLOSION.]
Crime alert! An evil alien life form is attacking Jump City.
If we don't intervene, it could be the end of the world.
[ALL GROANING.]
Man, I aints wanna deal with another evil alien invasion.
I bet they're trying to steal Earth's precious resources.
- Again.
- Ugh.
When did crime-fighting become so dark and grim? I long for the old days that are good.
When the crime fights were filled with the wonder and the charm.
One might even refer to such a time as the [ECHOING.]
Golden age of crime fighting.
ROBIN: I would give anything to return to a time when it was acceptable to wear my short shorts.
[WHISTLE.]
But unfortunately, times have changed.
So let's charged into battle with the grim villain, the outcome of which will determine the survival of the human race.
Titans, go.
Where is the violent alien menace? I ain't seein' no dooms or glooms.
VOICE: The world is mine! [LAUGHS.]
- Did you hear that? - Yeah, but I don't see it.
VOICE: This pathetic planet is no match for the greatest criminal mind in the galaxy.
ROBIN: There! [LAUGHING.]
Is this for reals? The bad guy is a little worm? Yes, my dude.
The villain is a worm! - A straight up worm! - ROBIN: He has glasses! The evil worm has poor vision that requires corrective lenses! [LAUGHING.]
That is so charming.
Oh, I would like to cup the cuddly worm in my hand and poke it with the finger over and over again.
Poo, poo, poo, poo, poo.
I was expecting something scary and grotesque.
But this little guy is a breath of fresh air.
Once I unleash the seven deadly enemies of man on this world, I will be unstoppable! [CACKLING.]
Not so fast, Mr.
Mind! Ah, Billy Batson! My old enemy.
Oh, my goodness gracious! That little boy is about to fight that worm! It don't get no better than this, y'all.
It don't get no better! You may as well surrender, Mr.
Mind.
Shazam! [THUNDERCLAP.]
[CRACKLING.]
ALL: Whaaat? That lightning turned that boy into a superhero Elvis! ROBIN: Check out that power hair! The cape, ooh, and that collar! Starched to perfection! We have got to meet these guys.
- Now, give it up - Yo, yo, yo, my dude.
We gots to say.
We's loving your whole situation.
Ah, fellow heroes.
- Perhaps you can help me with - Sorry.
Real quick.
- What was your name again? - Billy Batson.
No, the other one.
Shazo-whizo-what now? Oh.
Shazam! [THUNDERCLAP.]
[ALL EXCLAIMING.]
He did it again! [SIGHS.]
Shazam! [THUNDERCLAP.]
[TITANS CHEERING.]
He can turn back and forth by saying his name! - Oh, say the name again! - I will not.
For I need all of my power to defeat Mr.
Mind.
You mean, the harmless worm that uses the tiny speaker box with which to communicate? Leave me be! Or I will destroy you all! The only thing you're gonna destroy is this apple.
RAVEN: [GIGGLING.]
Aww, look at him.
Oh, something is the missing.
Oh, aha! Aha! [TITANS LAUGHING.]
Classic bookworm, yo.
Heroes! Do not underestimate Mr.
Mind.
While he may be a tiny worm, - he is a deadly adversary.
- I'll tell you what's deadly.
- That perfectly square jaw! - I just wanna say, you, sir, are a superhero the whole family can enjoy.
You're like a, like a Christmas miracle.
Wait.
This is too good to be true.
He probably has a super tragic origin story.
How did you become a superhero? Radiation? Accident at the chemical plant? A mighty wizard gave me super powers.
[TITANS CHEERING.]
This fool be talking about wizards! - I wanna meet the wizard! - How can we find this wizard? By taking the magic subway.
- Of course, it's a magic subway! - Yes.
Now, please.
- I need to stop Mr.
Mind before - Before he eats another apple? Before he releases the seven deadly enemies - of man upon this world! - Uh, well, I hates to say it, bruh.
but he left a while ago.
[SIGHS.]
- I must speak to the wizard.
- Ooh, may we join you on the magic subway and meet the wizard man? TITANS: Please, please, please, please, please! I suppose you could be of assistance, but please, this is a serious threat, - and must be treated as such.
- Of course.
We promise to take the little worm guy seriously.
Good.
Come then.
- Uh, hey.
Shim-sham.
- It's Shazam.
[THUNDERCLAP.]
- Hey! - [LAUGHS.]
So good.
[MUSIC.]
[ELECTRONIC BELLS DINGS.]
Welcome, young ones to the Rock of Eternity! [THUNDERCLAP.]
Yo, Merlin.
Do some magic tricks, yo! Peer into the ball of the crystal and tell me of the future.
Ooh, ooh.
Whisper something to a moth.
I do not do any of that stuff.
[WHIMPERING.]
And you call yourself a wizard.
His magic is real, gang.
He's the one who gave me my powers.
Why did you give super powers to a little kid? Seems irresponsible.
Because he's an orphan who is pure of heart.
[THUNDERCLAP.]
- Isn't that right, Billy? - You bet I am.
An orphan? Why would you pick an orphan? Well, you know [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC.]
You know [ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Listen.
I gave him my powers because soon I will perish.
Ages ago, it was prophesied that I would be crushed by the rock of eternity! [THUNDERCLAP.]
Well, yeah, you're sitting right under it.
Just scoot your little chair over like six inches, bruh.
You're good.
- But the prophecy - The scoot! - Hmm.
- Fine.
We'll do it.
There.
You're welcome.
[MUTTERING.]
Oh, I just wanna be crushed by a rock.
Why can't they just let me be crushed by a rock? Yo, what's these things? WIZARD: Within those statues are the imprisoned spirits of the seven deadly enemies of man! Pride.
Envy.
Greed.
Hatred.
Laziness.
Selfishness.
And injustice.
TITANS: Cool.
- Hey.
Who does this remind you of? - Pride is not to be emulated.
- Laziness right here, baby! - Do not compare yourselves to evil.
I'm green with envy! This one's all for me! Not for you! [GROWLS.]
Fools! Those statues represent the worst human vices! Why did you bring them here, Billy? Aww, gee, whiz.
I thought they could help me find Mr.
Mind before he could take over the world.
Oh, yeah.
Where is that little rascal anyway? MR.
MIND: Closer than you think! [LAUGHS.]
What up, wormy worm? Ah, we loves this guy.
Your will change your tune once I release the seven deadly enemies of man upon your precious city! [LAUGHING.]
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
- You must stop him, Billy! - We got this, Gandalf.
But to beat them, you must be pure of heart.
Aww, you're adorable.
Gosh.
What do I do now? You'll deal with it.
I've got bigger problems.
[BELL DINGS.]
[CRACKLING.]
[SIGHS IN RELIEF.]
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
[MUSIC.]
Soon, the world will be mine! [LAUGHING MANIACALLY.]
[ALL EXCLAIMING.]
Titans, are you ready for an old-fashioned, light-hearted battle with the seven deadly enemies of man? ALL: Oh, yeah! [ALL EXCLAIMING.]
Titans, go! [ALL YELLING.]
[YELLING.]
[GRUNTS.]
What's What's happening? Oh, no.
Remember what Billy said? We've been infected by the seven because we're not pure of heart.
Speak for yourself.
Not only am I pure of heart, but I am the greatest and most powerfull and respected and tall superhero in the world.
Your prideful boasting fills me with the hate! I know this is selfish, but I'm saving myself! [SCREAMS.]
Why does he get to save himself? I wanna save myself.
This isn't fair! - I want what he has! - Ah, y'all handle this one, aight? I is feeling just a a little bit lazy.
[SIGHS, SNORING.]
The bigger they are, the harder they fall.
Now, my seven.
Unleash your true power and destroy this world! [CACKLING MANIACALLY.]
[ROARING.]
[LAUGHING.]
- BILLY: Hold it, Mr.
Mind! - Oh, no! It's Shazam! [THUNDERCLAP.]
[GRUNTS.]
[ROARING.]
[GRUNTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[HEROIC MUSIC.]
[GROANING.]
- Oh, no! - Get off my planet, Mr.
Mind.
[SCREAMS.]
Thwarted once again! Let this be a lesson, Titans.
The fact that you didn't take me or Mr.
Mind seriously is the reason superheroes have become so grim and serious today.
- I see that now.
- Thank you, flying child man.
Well done, Billy Batson.
You truly are [GRUNTS.]
the prophecy.

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