Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s02e12 Episode Script
8910-012 - The Catwoman From Channel Six
Outrageous.
This is the part where the slime monster scarfs up the entire city of Cleveland.
I warn you, too much television warps the mind And promotes violence.
Right.
You bet.
You're right, master.
What's this thing, boss ? Another toy from Krang ? It happens to be a state-of-the-art matter transporter.
With it, I can transmit an object anywhere in the world.
Like what ? Like sending two ill-mannered slobs to the city dump.
What's this place ? Maybe it's one of them nouvelle cuisine restaurants.
I guess they want to make sure you wash before you eat.
Oh, awesome.
Who's the slime monster gonna scarf up next ? Who cares as long as she's a real good screamer.
It's the ninja turtles ! Rocksteady and Bebop ! We're gonna turn you guys into turtle mush ! Now it's my turn, wart-breath.
Beginner's luck.
Let's get it on, tusk-teeth.
Oh, no ! He's turned our TV set into a vast wasteland.
This time, he's gone too far.
Turtle power ! Turtle power ! I'm coming to help you, Bebop.
Not really, dude.
I think those idiots have learned their lesson by now.
Scat ! Get away ! No ! Look out ! Blasted cat ! All right, chumps ! They've disappeared.
Like vaporized ! I am pleased you have at last turned down the television.
Why'd you bring us back, boss ? Yeah.
We was just about to pulverize them shell backs.
You found the turtles' hiding place ? We sure did.
Quickly.
What was the exact location ? Well, let's see First, we went this way.
Then, we went that way.
I think we turned left.
Or was it right ? Or was it down and then up ? All them sewers looks alike to me.
Silence ! Serves me right for using cheap mutant labor.
Oh, bummer, man.
Could you fix it, Donatello ? I don't know.
It looks pretty far gone.
You mean we're gonna miss it came from the sewers ? Well, that's my favorite flick ! Don't panic, fellas.
Maybe April can help us.
This is April O'Neill, Channel 6 news, speaking with this year's winner of the fat cabbies contest, Myron Bimbleton.
Tell us, what is the secret of your success ? Chili burgers and onions.
Lots of onions.
You said a mouthful, Myron.
This is April O'Neill.
Channel 6 news.
Ok.
That's a wrap.
Really, Vernon, Why must I do these idiotic human interest stories ? Because the public eats them up.
Right.
With lots of onions.
My, April here.
What's up, guys ? We've got an emergency and we need your help.
Now, this sounds like a real story.
Yeah, right.
There are these gigantic alligators in the sewer.
Fantastic ! I'll bring my video camera.
We'd rather you brought a spare TV instead.
You got me over here so you could watch a movie about alligators in the sewers ? Exactamundo.
Awesome flick, isn't it ? Hey, you guys want to hold it down ? You're drowning out all the screams.
What happened here ? World War III ? Not quite.
There was a fight with Here ? But how ? This sewer home of yours is the best-kept secret in the city they must have used some form of matter transporter.
Wow.
That would make some story.
If we could find Shredder's hideout.
Chinese food ? Don't tell me that you guys have given up pizza ? It's rocksteady and bebop's.
It's not bad enough they trashed the place, they also left their garbage ! Woo's oriental Palace.
So long, guys.
Enjoy your movie.
Hey, she can't go to woo's by herself.
That place is really bad.
The food is even worse.
We better follow her.
Something tells me I shouldn't be doing this, but here goes.
What a dive.
Excuse me.
I am Woo.
Who are you ? I'm April O'Neill, a TV reporter.
We do not like nosy reporters.
I'm not that kind of reporter.
I'm a restaurant critic.
Delicious.
Did you serve a couple of weird-looking customers in the last hour ? one that looks like a rhino and the other looks like a wart hog.
I remember them.
They wore halloween masks.
They came from warehouse at end of pier.
Thanks.
I'll recommend this place to my friends.
Hey, shorty, Where's my won tons ? All out of won tons.
This must be The matter transporter Splinter talked about.
I'd better back This story up With some photos.
Scat, kitty.
You're in my shot.
W-what happened ? I--i feel so woozy.
What's going on ? April ? April, you know the landlord Doesn't allow pets.
What could i do, irma ? They followed me home.
Wow, what a day.
I feel like something The cat dragged in.
Gee.
Let me fix you Something to eat.
That sounds good.
First, i'll feed Your furry friends.
You're a nice person For a human.
How's that Again ? Don't mind Me-ow, irma.
I'm so tired, i don't Know what i'm saying.
Well, i'll leave you So you can take A little cat nap.
Ooh.
I thought She'd never leave.
You know, I'm getting pretty bored With these private eye Disguises.
Sorry, fellas, But our french poodle suits Are still at the cleaners.
Quit griping, guys.
We're trying To help april.
And this is where We'll find her.
I smell trouble.
Can't smell worse Than the food.
Who are you supposed to be, Humphrey bogus ? You hit the nail Right on the head, Sweetheart.
Yeah ! Now, listen here, You mugs.
I'm giving the orders Around here, see ? All right, So i don't do bogart.
Enough stalling ! You turkeys Are about To get plucked.
Wrong, bozo ! We're turtles, Not turkeys.
Ohh, i'm going to Make turtle stew.
This one's on me, fellas.
Hyah ! Back at you, Cabbage heads.
Unh ! Allow me.
Man, there's nothing like A furious, fun-filled, Food flinging fight ! Try saying that Three times fast.
One minute To air time, april.
Was it Something i said ? Meo-out ! Out ! Out ! Well, there's no need To get catty.
April, i'm worried.
You're not acting at all Like yourself.
You'd better go, irma.
Nowww ! Not until You tell me What's going on ! I went to the hideout Of thisss character Called shredder.
I was taking pictures Of sssome machine When sssomething Happened to me-ow ! Gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
It's turned you Into a cat.
Yesss.
That's why I must go back And reverse What happened.
[meow.]
No way ! I'm not letting you Out of this room ! Of course, if you Insist on going Don't worry About me-ow.
My best friend Has turned into a cat.
I don't know whether to call 911 Or the animal shelter.
What's this ? Some kind of Weird walkie-talkie ? Hello ? Hello ? Those kung fu guys Turned out to be A bunch of Chicken lo meins.
Yeah, with the accent On "lo.
" Irma: hello, Is anyone there ? Who are you ? Never mind that.
Who are you ? I'm leonardo.
You really are a turtle.
Congratulations, lady.
You just won The national Wildlife award.
April's in trouble.
If you care anything About her, Meet me at The subway station At 4TH and broadway And i'll explain Everything.
We're on our way.
Ok, guys, It's turtle time ! I mussst remember which Buttons the cat touched.
Someone is Snooping around.
Hey, you ! What do you know, It's half animal.
Yeah, just like us.
Miss o'neill, What are you Doing here ? So that's it.
You've been Transmutated With a cat.
This should Hold you.
Get her something to eat.
It may calm her down.
Oh, i've got just The thing, boss.
Hey, kitty, Look at what bebop Brought you for dindin.
You fool ! She's still more Female than feline.
She might not Eat a rodent, But perhaps She'll help me Hunt one down.
Excuse me, did you Happen to see-- Oh, wow ! The t-- Cool it.
We're top secret.
Yeah, like, You want to blow Our cover ? Oh, sorry.
I guess I got carried away.
Ok.
So what happened To april ? Well, first She turned into a cat, And then she drank milk From a saucer, And then she jumped out The window And then she went to Some man called shredder-- Slow down.
Right.
Could you, Like, rewind that And play it back At normal speed ? She said april went To shredder's hideout.
That's all we need to know.
Did she happen to Tell you where it is ? No, but she did Take some pictures Of the place.
Maybe they're still At her apartment.
Her apartment ? Let's go ! Don't be frightened.
I am your friend.
No.
You are enemy.
Here, kitty.
A brand-new collar.
How come You're giving her Such pretty Presents, boss ? It's not a present, You cretin.
The effects of The molecular crossover Will only last A short time, But with that collar, She will obey My every command forever.
And i command you To hunt down splinter.
Yesss, massster.
Which one is April's apartment ? It's that one Up there.
And look what's Down here.
Uh, april, Is that you ? I guess not.
You guys start climbing.
I'll handle this.
Back, big fellow.
Back ! That was great, Michelangelo.
Thanks.
Oh, nothing to it, bud.
Just remember, pizza's The perfect payback.
Hi, fellas.
What took you so long ? Irma ! How'd You get in here ? I've got a key.
You mean we climbed That fire escape For nothing ? It's ok.
We needed the workout.
I found April's notes.
It says this guy Shredder's hideout Is an old warehouse On the dock.
And here are some photos She took of the place.
It's a molecular Transporter.
Then splinter Was right.
How to Like, That's the same cat In every photo.
That explains Everything.
April and the cat Must've gotten their Molecules switched.
Which means that Somewhere out there Is a cat who's Trying to choose Just the right Nail polish For its claws.
Turtles, we've got To find april.
Finally, the lair Is as it should be, But where are Those turtles ? Go away ! Out of here ! Cats--the one creature I truly fear.
Yes, massster, I hear you.
We must destroy sssplinter.
Oh, what delicious irony.
Soon they will find splinter And tear him to shreds.
Well, shredder, you finally Did something right.
May i remind you, krang, It was your transporter That malfunctioned.
Oh ? And now You'd like me to send A repairman, right ? Maybe you'd like me To fix your washing Machine, too.
Just the instructions Will do.
All right, But i warn you, When i send The technodrome, There will be No second chances.
Om I must rid my mind of This dreaded fear of cats.
Om My deepest nightmare Come to life.
April ! What's come over you ? I must try to contact The turtles.
Yoo-hoo ! Here, Kitty, kitty, kitty.
Oh, there's a million cats In this city And we're supposed to find One ordinary stray ? Hi there, pussycat.
What's your name ? Is that really you, april ? See ? I told you I was her favorite.
It's not you, man.
It's those anchovy Pizzas you eat.
The turtlecom.
Master ! Come in, master ! Splinter Needs our help.
Splinter.
Who's that ? He sounds cute.
Yeah.
Cute enough to eat.
Shredder must be Behind this.
But how did He find me ? I led him here.
Master shredder sent us To destroy you.
I will not fight you.
That will not ssstop me.
No.
I do not know what Shredder has done to you, But you are still my friend And the turtles' friend.
Turtles ? Yes ! You care deeply For one another.
No ! That was In the passst.
Sssay farewell, Master splinter.
April, no ! It's us ! The ninja turtles.
Ninja turtles My friends.
Right, and this is Our sensei, remember ? Yesss, also my friend.
No ! It's that collar ! It's controlling Her thoughts ! Mussst kill all of you ! Shredder commands it ! [yowls.]
Holy cat ! She's gone Totally nutsoid ! I'll take Care of this.
No, leonardo, don't ! What are you doing ? Just this ! So much for shredder's Thought control.
Wh-what happened ? Let's just say For a while there, You were catatonic.
We're not out Of the jungle yet.
And this one's Not wearing a collar.
Chill out, dudes.
This one's on me.
Got you.
That ought to hold Him until we can Notify the zoo.
Boy, michelangelo, You and your dumb toys.
Like i always say, Never look a gift Mouse in the mouth.
Blast it ! My control over April o'neill's Thought waves Has been terminated.
So, what do we do With her lunch ? Ow ! He did it again.
Don't sweat it.
I'll get the little nipper.
No, you idiot.
Don't ! Uh-oh.
I think We broke it.
What do you mean we, horn head ? Hurry, you cretins.
Out of here ! I'll get you turtles yet, if it's the last thing I do ! Well, April, how's it feel being a human again ? Awful.
My nails are absolutely ruined from walking around on all fours.
Yep.
She's back to being a woman, all right.
Splinter ? Are you in there ? Irma, what are you doing in the sewers ? Well, a woman will go to any depths to meet her dream man.
Now, where is this hunky Splinter guy ? I am Splinter.
You're a you're a rat ! Precisely.
You must be Irma.
Wrong.
I must be going.
This is the part where the slime monster scarfs up the entire city of Cleveland.
I warn you, too much television warps the mind And promotes violence.
Right.
You bet.
You're right, master.
What's this thing, boss ? Another toy from Krang ? It happens to be a state-of-the-art matter transporter.
With it, I can transmit an object anywhere in the world.
Like what ? Like sending two ill-mannered slobs to the city dump.
What's this place ? Maybe it's one of them nouvelle cuisine restaurants.
I guess they want to make sure you wash before you eat.
Oh, awesome.
Who's the slime monster gonna scarf up next ? Who cares as long as she's a real good screamer.
It's the ninja turtles ! Rocksteady and Bebop ! We're gonna turn you guys into turtle mush ! Now it's my turn, wart-breath.
Beginner's luck.
Let's get it on, tusk-teeth.
Oh, no ! He's turned our TV set into a vast wasteland.
This time, he's gone too far.
Turtle power ! Turtle power ! I'm coming to help you, Bebop.
Not really, dude.
I think those idiots have learned their lesson by now.
Scat ! Get away ! No ! Look out ! Blasted cat ! All right, chumps ! They've disappeared.
Like vaporized ! I am pleased you have at last turned down the television.
Why'd you bring us back, boss ? Yeah.
We was just about to pulverize them shell backs.
You found the turtles' hiding place ? We sure did.
Quickly.
What was the exact location ? Well, let's see First, we went this way.
Then, we went that way.
I think we turned left.
Or was it right ? Or was it down and then up ? All them sewers looks alike to me.
Silence ! Serves me right for using cheap mutant labor.
Oh, bummer, man.
Could you fix it, Donatello ? I don't know.
It looks pretty far gone.
You mean we're gonna miss it came from the sewers ? Well, that's my favorite flick ! Don't panic, fellas.
Maybe April can help us.
This is April O'Neill, Channel 6 news, speaking with this year's winner of the fat cabbies contest, Myron Bimbleton.
Tell us, what is the secret of your success ? Chili burgers and onions.
Lots of onions.
You said a mouthful, Myron.
This is April O'Neill.
Channel 6 news.
Ok.
That's a wrap.
Really, Vernon, Why must I do these idiotic human interest stories ? Because the public eats them up.
Right.
With lots of onions.
My, April here.
What's up, guys ? We've got an emergency and we need your help.
Now, this sounds like a real story.
Yeah, right.
There are these gigantic alligators in the sewer.
Fantastic ! I'll bring my video camera.
We'd rather you brought a spare TV instead.
You got me over here so you could watch a movie about alligators in the sewers ? Exactamundo.
Awesome flick, isn't it ? Hey, you guys want to hold it down ? You're drowning out all the screams.
What happened here ? World War III ? Not quite.
There was a fight with Here ? But how ? This sewer home of yours is the best-kept secret in the city they must have used some form of matter transporter.
Wow.
That would make some story.
If we could find Shredder's hideout.
Chinese food ? Don't tell me that you guys have given up pizza ? It's rocksteady and bebop's.
It's not bad enough they trashed the place, they also left their garbage ! Woo's oriental Palace.
So long, guys.
Enjoy your movie.
Hey, she can't go to woo's by herself.
That place is really bad.
The food is even worse.
We better follow her.
Something tells me I shouldn't be doing this, but here goes.
What a dive.
Excuse me.
I am Woo.
Who are you ? I'm April O'Neill, a TV reporter.
We do not like nosy reporters.
I'm not that kind of reporter.
I'm a restaurant critic.
Delicious.
Did you serve a couple of weird-looking customers in the last hour ? one that looks like a rhino and the other looks like a wart hog.
I remember them.
They wore halloween masks.
They came from warehouse at end of pier.
Thanks.
I'll recommend this place to my friends.
Hey, shorty, Where's my won tons ? All out of won tons.
This must be The matter transporter Splinter talked about.
I'd better back This story up With some photos.
Scat, kitty.
You're in my shot.
W-what happened ? I--i feel so woozy.
What's going on ? April ? April, you know the landlord Doesn't allow pets.
What could i do, irma ? They followed me home.
Wow, what a day.
I feel like something The cat dragged in.
Gee.
Let me fix you Something to eat.
That sounds good.
First, i'll feed Your furry friends.
You're a nice person For a human.
How's that Again ? Don't mind Me-ow, irma.
I'm so tired, i don't Know what i'm saying.
Well, i'll leave you So you can take A little cat nap.
Ooh.
I thought She'd never leave.
You know, I'm getting pretty bored With these private eye Disguises.
Sorry, fellas, But our french poodle suits Are still at the cleaners.
Quit griping, guys.
We're trying To help april.
And this is where We'll find her.
I smell trouble.
Can't smell worse Than the food.
Who are you supposed to be, Humphrey bogus ? You hit the nail Right on the head, Sweetheart.
Yeah ! Now, listen here, You mugs.
I'm giving the orders Around here, see ? All right, So i don't do bogart.
Enough stalling ! You turkeys Are about To get plucked.
Wrong, bozo ! We're turtles, Not turkeys.
Ohh, i'm going to Make turtle stew.
This one's on me, fellas.
Hyah ! Back at you, Cabbage heads.
Unh ! Allow me.
Man, there's nothing like A furious, fun-filled, Food flinging fight ! Try saying that Three times fast.
One minute To air time, april.
Was it Something i said ? Meo-out ! Out ! Out ! Well, there's no need To get catty.
April, i'm worried.
You're not acting at all Like yourself.
You'd better go, irma.
Nowww ! Not until You tell me What's going on ! I went to the hideout Of thisss character Called shredder.
I was taking pictures Of sssome machine When sssomething Happened to me-ow ! Gosh.
Oh, my gosh.
It's turned you Into a cat.
Yesss.
That's why I must go back And reverse What happened.
[meow.]
No way ! I'm not letting you Out of this room ! Of course, if you Insist on going Don't worry About me-ow.
My best friend Has turned into a cat.
I don't know whether to call 911 Or the animal shelter.
What's this ? Some kind of Weird walkie-talkie ? Hello ? Hello ? Those kung fu guys Turned out to be A bunch of Chicken lo meins.
Yeah, with the accent On "lo.
" Irma: hello, Is anyone there ? Who are you ? Never mind that.
Who are you ? I'm leonardo.
You really are a turtle.
Congratulations, lady.
You just won The national Wildlife award.
April's in trouble.
If you care anything About her, Meet me at The subway station At 4TH and broadway And i'll explain Everything.
We're on our way.
Ok, guys, It's turtle time ! I mussst remember which Buttons the cat touched.
Someone is Snooping around.
Hey, you ! What do you know, It's half animal.
Yeah, just like us.
Miss o'neill, What are you Doing here ? So that's it.
You've been Transmutated With a cat.
This should Hold you.
Get her something to eat.
It may calm her down.
Oh, i've got just The thing, boss.
Hey, kitty, Look at what bebop Brought you for dindin.
You fool ! She's still more Female than feline.
She might not Eat a rodent, But perhaps She'll help me Hunt one down.
Excuse me, did you Happen to see-- Oh, wow ! The t-- Cool it.
We're top secret.
Yeah, like, You want to blow Our cover ? Oh, sorry.
I guess I got carried away.
Ok.
So what happened To april ? Well, first She turned into a cat, And then she drank milk From a saucer, And then she jumped out The window And then she went to Some man called shredder-- Slow down.
Right.
Could you, Like, rewind that And play it back At normal speed ? She said april went To shredder's hideout.
That's all we need to know.
Did she happen to Tell you where it is ? No, but she did Take some pictures Of the place.
Maybe they're still At her apartment.
Her apartment ? Let's go ! Don't be frightened.
I am your friend.
No.
You are enemy.
Here, kitty.
A brand-new collar.
How come You're giving her Such pretty Presents, boss ? It's not a present, You cretin.
The effects of The molecular crossover Will only last A short time, But with that collar, She will obey My every command forever.
And i command you To hunt down splinter.
Yesss, massster.
Which one is April's apartment ? It's that one Up there.
And look what's Down here.
Uh, april, Is that you ? I guess not.
You guys start climbing.
I'll handle this.
Back, big fellow.
Back ! That was great, Michelangelo.
Thanks.
Oh, nothing to it, bud.
Just remember, pizza's The perfect payback.
Hi, fellas.
What took you so long ? Irma ! How'd You get in here ? I've got a key.
You mean we climbed That fire escape For nothing ? It's ok.
We needed the workout.
I found April's notes.
It says this guy Shredder's hideout Is an old warehouse On the dock.
And here are some photos She took of the place.
It's a molecular Transporter.
Then splinter Was right.
How to Like, That's the same cat In every photo.
That explains Everything.
April and the cat Must've gotten their Molecules switched.
Which means that Somewhere out there Is a cat who's Trying to choose Just the right Nail polish For its claws.
Turtles, we've got To find april.
Finally, the lair Is as it should be, But where are Those turtles ? Go away ! Out of here ! Cats--the one creature I truly fear.
Yes, massster, I hear you.
We must destroy sssplinter.
Oh, what delicious irony.
Soon they will find splinter And tear him to shreds.
Well, shredder, you finally Did something right.
May i remind you, krang, It was your transporter That malfunctioned.
Oh ? And now You'd like me to send A repairman, right ? Maybe you'd like me To fix your washing Machine, too.
Just the instructions Will do.
All right, But i warn you, When i send The technodrome, There will be No second chances.
Om I must rid my mind of This dreaded fear of cats.
Om My deepest nightmare Come to life.
April ! What's come over you ? I must try to contact The turtles.
Yoo-hoo ! Here, Kitty, kitty, kitty.
Oh, there's a million cats In this city And we're supposed to find One ordinary stray ? Hi there, pussycat.
What's your name ? Is that really you, april ? See ? I told you I was her favorite.
It's not you, man.
It's those anchovy Pizzas you eat.
The turtlecom.
Master ! Come in, master ! Splinter Needs our help.
Splinter.
Who's that ? He sounds cute.
Yeah.
Cute enough to eat.
Shredder must be Behind this.
But how did He find me ? I led him here.
Master shredder sent us To destroy you.
I will not fight you.
That will not ssstop me.
No.
I do not know what Shredder has done to you, But you are still my friend And the turtles' friend.
Turtles ? Yes ! You care deeply For one another.
No ! That was In the passst.
Sssay farewell, Master splinter.
April, no ! It's us ! The ninja turtles.
Ninja turtles My friends.
Right, and this is Our sensei, remember ? Yesss, also my friend.
No ! It's that collar ! It's controlling Her thoughts ! Mussst kill all of you ! Shredder commands it ! [yowls.]
Holy cat ! She's gone Totally nutsoid ! I'll take Care of this.
No, leonardo, don't ! What are you doing ? Just this ! So much for shredder's Thought control.
Wh-what happened ? Let's just say For a while there, You were catatonic.
We're not out Of the jungle yet.
And this one's Not wearing a collar.
Chill out, dudes.
This one's on me.
Got you.
That ought to hold Him until we can Notify the zoo.
Boy, michelangelo, You and your dumb toys.
Like i always say, Never look a gift Mouse in the mouth.
Blast it ! My control over April o'neill's Thought waves Has been terminated.
So, what do we do With her lunch ? Ow ! He did it again.
Don't sweat it.
I'll get the little nipper.
No, you idiot.
Don't ! Uh-oh.
I think We broke it.
What do you mean we, horn head ? Hurry, you cretins.
Out of here ! I'll get you turtles yet, if it's the last thing I do ! Well, April, how's it feel being a human again ? Awful.
My nails are absolutely ruined from walking around on all fours.
Yep.
She's back to being a woman, all right.
Splinter ? Are you in there ? Irma, what are you doing in the sewers ? Well, a woman will go to any depths to meet her dream man.
Now, where is this hunky Splinter guy ? I am Splinter.
You're a you're a rat ! Precisely.
You must be Irma.
Wrong.
I must be going.