Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s03e02 Episode Script

9059-007 - Turtles on Trial

Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power they're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil shredder attacks these turtle boys don't cut him no slack teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Gimme a break! Michelangelo is a party dude Party! Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power lions gate entertainment [LAUGHTER.]
Yeah! Yay! Whoa, nice hammerlock.
I can't think of a better way to relax than by watching wrestling.
You said it.
The terrible turtle knows all the right moves.
Yeah, he could beat any other wrestler with both hands tied behind his shell.
What shell? He hasn't got a shell.
Hey, Michelangelo! We were watching wrestling! That's like a total snore, dudes.
Now, this is really intense.
It's time for on trial with Clayton Kellerman.
And now here's the man you love to hate, Clayton Kellerman! Good evening, jerks! Yeah! Yeah! Whoo! Yeah! You got to be kidding, Michelangelo.
This guy makes pond scum look good.
Yeah.
It's a terrible show.
Au contraire, compadres.
It's even more radical than wrestling.
I'll bet you thought you knew about all the nut cases out there trying to sabotage our way of life.
Now, didn't ya? Yeah! Well, you're wrong.
Let me tell you about a threat right under your feet, in the sewers.
Let's talk turtles, teenage mutant ninja turtles! Uh-oh.
I got a bad feeling about this.
APRIL: About what, guys? Just listen to this.
And I say these freaky turtles are menaces who ought to be hunted down.
Yeah! Yeah! Look at them! Yeah, all they need are some torches and a castle to storm.
They're acting like animals.
What am I saying? LEONARDO: Why is he turning people against us, April? Yeah, we don't exactly have the best p.
R.
Image as it is.
Aw, don't take it personally, guys.
Kellerman hates everybody.
He's got all the charm of an electric eel.
Here, these ought to make you feel better.
Yiii! [GULP.]
Ohh! Where'd you get these, at Freddie's garage sale? I had wardrobe make them up.
Try them on.
Hey, great.
Now we don't look like mutant turtles.
Yeah! We look like mutant turtles wearing people masks.
I think it makes a real fashion statement.
And the statement is "yuck.
" KRANG: So the turtles beat you again, shredder, and you call yourself a supervillain? Superklutz is more like it.
Oh, cool down.
Cool down? Look at that thermometer.
If we had the solar benite you were sent to the surface steal, we could use it to power the refrigeration units, but did you get any? No! If you think it's so easy, krang, why don't you go up and get it? And take care of the turtles while you're at it.
Not a bad idea for once.
I'll use brains instead of brawn, but it's not enough to just defeat them.
I must crush them completely! MICHELANGELO: Hey, these masks are really cool, April.
You can even eat pizza in them.
I'm glad you like them, guys.
[ALARM RINGS.]
Uh-oh! Trouble.
RAPHAEL: No problem, April.
Trouble is our middle name.
I didn't know we had middle names.
Not bad, huh? Oh, outstanding, mon frere, and check out these chuks! Yeah! Uhh! Looks like another victory for the forces of good.
Don't you mean the forces of green? MAN: Get outta town, turtles! WOMAN: Kellerman's right! You're no good! Yeah! Get away from us humans! We don't want your kind here! Uh-oh.
I'm picking up some really negative vibes here.
[CROWD SHOUTING.]
I think they mean business.
Yeah, time to boogie, dudes, and I'm talking warp speed! Yeah, but where to? Quick, over there! You, too, April.
It's all that Clayton Kellerman's fault.
We should do something about him.
April, can you get us air time on on trial to present our side? Oh, I'm sure I could.
Vern Thompson would ok anything that will deliver big ratings.
Good.
Then maybe people will understand us.
BEBOP: Hey, krang, shredder says you're going to personally take on the turtles.
Can we come, too? Can we? Huh? Forget it.
I'll handle this myself as soon as I think of a plan that's nasty enough.
Gee, too bad.
We had nothing planned for this afternoon.
Yeah, I guess we'll just have to watch TV instead.
Oh, boy, it's the smurfs, my favorite.
Pretty good reception for being ANNOUNCER: Tonight at 7:30, live-- the infamous teenage mutant ninja turtles! Be there! The turtles? It's too good to be true! If I time this right, I'll be able to destroy them on national television! Now all I need is the proper weapon.
Let's see-- atomic destabilizer? Mm-mmm.
Too messy.
Freeze ray? Too quick.
I want them to suffer.
You said the turtles would be on the show.
Now you're telling me they're wimping out? No, no! They just don't think it's wise to expose themselves to the public.
We'll do a remote from the basement.
The basement? Oh, yuck! No matter where we shoot it, the ratings will be fantastic! You're right! I'm gonna make turtle soup out of those slimeshells! I better go.
I've got to help them get ready for the show.
I can't wait to see the turtles again.
Imagine the turtles as media superstars.
I wonder if I can get their autographs.
I wonder if they'll still talk to me.
Don't worry, Michelangelo.
You'll do just fine.
I don't know.
What if I like get stage fright and get laughed off the show? A wise man has nothing to fear from laughter, Michelangelo.
Oh, yeah, a wise man, but what about a wacky turtle? Relax! Just let me the talking.
I can handle this Kellerman clown.
Let's go, guys.
The show doesn't start until 7:30, but we should get there early.
Good luck, turtles.
I have a feeling they might need it.
Still here, krang? I thought you'd have the turtles defeated by now.
Soon, shredder, now that I've found the perfect weapon.
This is a prototype for a new military weapon.
And it's stored in the same warehouse as the solar benite.
With this, I'll be able to destroy the turtles once and for all! SHREDDER: It's not fair! I deserve to have a part in this! The turtles are my enemies, too! Oh, very well, if you're going to sulk about it.
I'll need you to distract the turtles while my trog soldiers and I break into the warehouse.
You heard him.
Prepare to return to the surface.
Oh, man, that's all we ever do is go up and down, up and down.
It sounds like the perfect assignment for a couple of yo-yos.
I made a funny.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh, no! You were supposed to come up behind the museum.
Sorry, boss.
Missed it by that much.
APRIL: Whoa! MICHELANGELO: Hang on, April.
We're going to catch a curl! Cowabunga! Next time, let's just take a cab, ok? [BEEP BEEP.]
Yes, master splinter? There are reports of strange creatures in the natural history museum, Leonardo.
LEONARDO: We'll check it out, sensei.
APRIL: But what about the TV show? Sorry.
This is more important.
Quickly, before we're seen! Hey, you suppose old tin teeth and his trogs are in here? Whoa! Does that answer your question? Blast them! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Why is it that our times together always wind up like this? Hey! They just trashed the amphibian exhibit! That does it.
No more Mr.
nice turtle.
Let's get 'em! Turtle power! Cowabunga! Hyah! Aah! Foolish turtles! Did you really think you could beat a ninja master? Ohh! The thought had crossed my mind.
Say your prayers, lizard face.
That's turtle face to you.
Aah! How's that for poetic justice? Uhh! GUARD: Hey, what's going on here? Let's see.
First things first.
At last--the solar benite is mine.
And finally, myself.
And uh-1, and uh-2, and Whoa! There's nothing like the smell of a new robot interior.
Now to test the stun ray.
Hey! That's government property! What are you doing? That's ok.
Take it for a test spin.
Aah! Aah! It works like a charm.
Looks like we came to the right place.
Stop chattering and grab a weapon.
They're right behind us.
Ha ha.
It's turtle bashing time.
There they are! Look out! Warthog power! Would you move it! Come on! Let's go.
Come back here, you freaks.
Hmm.
This gives me an idea.
Hey, where'd everybody go? Aah! Ow! Look out.
A monster.
Bebop, you imbecile.
Never mind.
I'll take care them.
Great.
Where's John Wayne when we need him? Oh, wow! Major brainstorm.
You have to come out sometime, turtles.
En garde, can-head! You're all mixed up.
I'm the one who wears the mask.
Got you now, dude.
Aah! Ohh, what a concept-- medieval break-away threads.
Turtle toe-jam, coming up.
Ugh.
Aah! Oohh! There, in the window! It's the turtles! The turtles? Terrific! With this on the news, everyone will watch on trial tonight.
And that means huge ratings.
Return to the technodrome.
I have no further need of you.
This is fun! I think I'll keep this after I dispose of the turtles.
Let me at 'em.
Looks like a standoff, shredder.
So it seems, but not for long.
Let go of me, you metal-faced maniac.
He's got April.
I've always admired your quick grasp of a situation.
Surrender, or else.
What now, fearless leader? There's no choice.
We can't let him hurt April.
[SIGH.]
You win, shredder.
We give up.
That's right, turtles.
I win, and you lose.
Ha ha ha.
It's taps for you, turtles.
Maybe it's time we looked into a new line of work, guys.
[COMMUNICATOR SIGNALS.]
KRANG: Come in, shredder.
What perfect timing.
I'm just about to destroy the turtles.
Oh, no, you don't! I want that pleasure to be all mine.
What are you saying? I'm saying, let them go.
I have the robot now, and I intend to destroy them on national television.
I won't! I won't! I won't! You will, you will, you will! Or I'll come looking for you in this thing.
You never let me have any fun.
Rock steady, bebop, fall back.
Huh? But, boss You heard me.
Now! Don't look now, guys, but I think we just got a reprieve.
Let's get 'em! You may think you've won, turtles, but you've lost.
Watch it! Hey! Are you guys all right? Oh, fine Considering that we just got our shells stomped.
I don't get it.
Shredder had us cold, and he let us go.
It's definitely bizarro.
He's up to something.
But what? Krang told him to back off.
He's looking for you, too.
Krang's up here, too? Aw, this has gotta be I-hate-turtles day? We'd better hurry.
We've got less than an hour before the on trial show starts.
Oh, no! We forgot all about being on TV.
Shredder's gone.
We may as well go ahead and do it.
Come on.
We'll sneak out the back way.
Thanks, guys.
We'll take it from here.
You guys can talk to Kellerman from down here.
You ok, Michelangelo? You look kind of nervous.
W-who me, n-nervous? Wh-what a bogus concept.
Yike! RAPHAEL: Come on, Michelangelo.
It's only a TV show.
Yeah.
Just forget that 100 million people will be watching you.
Ok.
It's showtime.
And now, welcome once again to on trial, starring Clayton Kellerman.
Ok, fruitcakes, tonight it's turtles on trial.
So, turtles, tell me why you're too cowardly to be in the studio with me.
RAPHAEL: Go on, Donatello.
Tell him.
Well, you see, it's like this-- uhOh Oh, no, I was afraid this might happen.
Aah! Aah! Ha ha ha! Now I'll find those turtles.
You say you're trying to help people, and yet you just trashed the natural history museum.
That wasn't us.
It was shredder and his mutants.
Yeah, sure, and I'm the tooth fairy.
This will make television history.
You don't understand.
We're trying to save the world from an invasion by an alien brain from dimension x.
Oh, come on.
That's a little hard to swallow.
What is, the invasion the brain, or the dimension x? Hey, I'll ask the questions here, you abnormal amphibians.
Clayton's making mincemeat out of them.
SHREDDER: Krang will fail.
I'm sure of it.
And I'm going to be there to laugh at him when he does! Come on! Let's go! And if you're such nice guys, how come you carry weapons? Yeah! Yeah! Hey, dude, maybe you'd like to try defending the earth for a while! [RUMBLE.]
What was that? [ON LOUDSPEAKER.]
Turtles, come out and play! That sounds like krang.
He must have been taking voice lessons.
Wow, he can really project.
Come on, turtles.
We're needed.
We fight for truth, justice, and a bigger slice of the pizza pie.
Ok, krang.
Put 'em up, you blob of brains.
Uh, maybe you'd care to rephrase that, Leonardo? You were saying? I was saying-- duck! That's it, turtles.
Struggle! It will make my victory all the sweeter.
Aah! Whoa! Don't look now, compadres, but I think we're a little bit outgunned.
Tell me about it.
Custer didn't have it this bad.
Aah! Hey! Get that thing out of here.
You're ruining my show.
Uppity human, I'll teach you some manners.
Aah! Gotcha! Oh, you've come out of hiding.
Yeah.
Lucky for you.
Ow! Now remember, amphibians.
I've got the solar benite, and you, my friends, are history! Oh, no! This isn't really happening.
What in-- now's our chance.
Ouch! Ow! Wow! Superchuks, do your thing.
LEONARDO: Nice work, Michelangelo.
Here's my contribution.
Uh-oh.
Hey! Shredder, you incompetent, staggering cretin! Help! My ganglion is stuck in some chewing gum.
Ow! You They got away.
Thank goodness you're all right.
Hey, you saved my life, turtles.
Yeah, I guess we don't look like such bad guys now, right, amigo? Look, just tell people the truth about us.
That's all we ask.
I'm sorry, fellas.
But I've got a reputation to maintain, and I didn't get it by being Mr.
nice guy.
You mean you're going to keep on badmouthing us? Hey, pal, that's show biz.
Ciao.
Oh, man.
What a scuzzbucket! Well, at least you've got the videotape of us tangling with shredder.
Right.
That'll prove we're not villains.
Sorry, guys, but my camera was totaled during the battle.
Our name is still mud in this city.
Total bummer, dudes.
Some days it just doesn't pay to come out of your shell.
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