Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s03e31 Episode Script

9059-028 - Michaelangelo's Birthday

Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power they're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil shredder attacks these turtle boys don't cut him no slack teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Give me a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power lions gate entertainment Happy Birthday to moi Happy Birthday to moi Happy Birthday, dear Michelangelo Happy Birthday to yours truly Hey, dudes, I brought you a special treat in honor of a totally special day.
You see, today just happens to be my-- thanks, Michelangelo.
Mmm, great chow.
Mm-hmm.
I agree wholeheartedly.
But didn't you guys notice anything special about that pizza? Now that you ask, it did have kind of a waxy taste.
Hey, guys, keep it down, will you? We're trying to watch a movie.
Attack of the killer anchovies.
It's my all-time favorite flick.
Hey, dudes, I've got a truly intense idea.
Let's throw a humongous party for someone we know.
Will you cool it? We're trying to watch the show, dude.
Yeah, you're not made of glass, you know.
All right.
I was just leaving.
I can't believe it.
Nobody remembered my birthday.
We did it.
We pulled it off.
Poor Michelangelo really thinks we forgot his birthday.
It'll make the surprise party that much better.
Krang, I don't know why you dragged me out here to supervise the repair work.
Oh, stop complaining.
It'll do you good to get out of that stuffy old technodrome once in a while.
Yeah, and into this even stuffier earth's core.
Hmm, what do we have here? The welding flux seems to have turned the lava into a puddle of goo.
Goo to you.
Me--I see it as a part of a grand scheme.
What sort of scheme? Never fear.
Whatever it is, it will be an evil one.
If you breathe correctly, you will move correctly.
Remember, it all starts with breathing.
Yeah, just like life on the day you're born.
Have you understood everything I've said, Michelangelo? Sure, sensei.
I wasn't born yesterday.
I was born today.
Shredder, if this is what I think it is, we shall finally eliminate those turtles.
You, step forward! We will now see if my theory is correct.
Oh, it's a total failure.
Aw, what's wrong, krang? Foul up the formula? [GIBBERISH.]
All of you, out of my sight this instant! And take this worthless concoction with you.
Krang, you brainiac! What have you done? I'm not sure.
All I know is, that I've stumbled onto something truly evil.
My horoscope said this would be my lucky day.
What we have here is an antimutagen which will return any previously mutated species back to its roots, just as the rock soldiers have reverted to the rocks from which they came.
Then you mean Precisely! With this, we can return the turtles back to the harmless little pet turtles they once were.
I can't wait to paint my name on their backs before I flush them! As with the rock soldiers, for the mutagen to work, at least three of the turtles must be together.
Do your job well, and they'll be out of our hair forever! Our hair? Don't you mean my hair? Ooh, shredder, you can be cruel.
Bebop! Rock steady! You rang, krang? I always wanted to say that.
You're going to the surface with shredder.
Oh, boy, boss.
[SNORTS.]
Are we going to beat up on the turtles? If I know you, you're going to get beat up by the turtles.
What's the difference, as long as somebody gets beat up.
All right, guys.
I'm gonna give you one last chance.
Doesn't anyone realize what day this is? Sunday! That does it.
I'm out of here.
What do you say we let Michelangelo in on the joke? No way.
This is too much fun.
When best buds forget your birthday, then I guess they're just not your best buds after all.
Ooh, they'll be sorry when I'm gone.
[COUGHING.]
Oh! I told you a thousand times-- don't open the sunroof until after we surface! But it's such a pretty day.
Now let's get down to business.
What do we do, boss? We use the old "create a disturbance "so authorities will report our whereabouts and someone will alert the turtles" scheme.
Remind me, boss, how's that work again? Never mind.
Just start trashing the area.
Oh, that I understand.
[SCREAMING.]
Good heavens, it's a disaster! But it's also a great story.
This could earn me a major promotion.
Great footage, Vernon.
Now that's the kind of reporting I like to see.
Gee, thanks, boss.
It was a high-risk assignment, but then, but I love danger.
That's good.
Because I want you to go out and get some more footage.
Some real close-up action! Uh, cl-close-up action? Sure.
I know how much you love danger.
Ha ha.
Oh.
Oh, no, shredder's in town! I've gotta warn the turtles.
[BEEP BEEP.]
Hello, turtles 'r' us.
Donatello, it's me, April.
I just saw a tape of shredder, rock steady, and bebop tearing up the street alongside the channel 6 building.
Ok, April, we're on our way.
You heard it, guys.
Let's haul shell.
Wait.
Where's Michelangelo? Beats me.
I fear I have some upsetting news.
What is it, master? Michelangelo has gone.
He left this note.
What does it say, sensei? Ahem.
"Sorry, dudes, but it's time to split this scene and scope some new turf.
" Signed "your former pal and current birthday boy, Michelangelo.
" Oh, no.
I guess we carried that forgot-your-birthday bit too far.
I knew we should have ended that gag sooner.
Looks like Michelangelo surprised us before we could surprise him.
We've got to find him and bring him back.
No, you three turtles must stop shredder.
I will find Michelangelo.
Ok, we're here.
So where's shred head? Here I am, reptiles, right behind you! We're going to stomp you wimps into turtle paste.
Ok, guys, let's stay together.
Yes, together.
That's just how you should be.
All three of you! Ha ha ha ha! Farewell, turtles.
You're about to return to your former state.
I hope for your sake you've stocked up on pet food.
Blast! Will you riddling reptilians stand still! Nice try, can head, but no cigar.
Unh.
What is that stuff? I'm willing to bet it's not underarm deodorant.
If it is, I wish he'd use some on rock steady and bebop.
Hey, listen, that's pretty mean.
[SNORTS.]
I think it stinks.
Give up, turtles.
I've got you now.
Don't be so sure, shred head.
Aah! My precious antimutagen! Ah, a perfect means of escape.
Uh, wait up, boss.
Don't leave us! What do you think you're doing? After them.
They mustn't get away! Hey, get off of my garbage truck, would ya? I just had it washed! They got away.
No kidding.
So what else is new? Shredder? What incredible good fortune-- a solitary turtle! Don't bruise him too much.
We want him in fairly good condition.
Man, this just isn't my day.
Thanks for letting us try out the new flushomatic torture device, boss.
Well, hard work deserves a reward.
Oh, come on, dude.
There's got to be a limit even to your grossiosity.
Maybe so, but I haven't found it yet.
Rock steady, use this turtlecom to contact his fellow shell backs.
Right, boss.
Oh, boy, this is going to be fun.
Master splinter, any luck finding Michelangelo? I have searched everywhere, but without success.
And shredder? What of him? It's a long story, sensei.
And a familiar one.
[BEEP BEEP.]
The turtlecom! Maybe that's Michelangelo now.
This is Donatello.
Come in.
Hello, aquarium breath.
Rock steady? How did you get that turtlecom? And what do you want? Um, hang on a minute.
What do I want, boss? Tell them to meet us at the corner of 6th and hill in 10 minutes, or their hip-talking friend will be flushed! Ain't we going to flush him anyway, boss? Quiet, you idiot, of course we are.
Ok, ok, um, meet us at Um, ooh, don't tell me Um, ooh I know! Gee, he must have seen this episode before.
All I can say is this is a pretty lame-o trick to pull on a guy's birthday.
Your birthday? Enjoy it.
I have a feeling it's your last.
Oh, by the way, that flushomatic contains a mutagenic ooze which will melt you into nothing.
Farewell, shell back.
Ha ha ha ha! You know, some birthdays, a dude ought to just stay in bed and catch some zs, you know what I mean? I just don't get it.
There's nothing on this tape that gives me a clue as to what shredder's up to.
April, how dare you run that tape without my permission.
Really, Vernon.
I was only looking at it.
Don't weasel out of it.
You were trying to steal my story.
Well, forget it! I'm going to get an exclusive interview with those ruffians, so help me.
If he's planning to interview shredder, help is what he'll need.
What a bummer! That goo is hanging by a thread, just like my entire life.
Oh, bad news.
That goo's got my number written all over it.
I've got to get out of this thing, but how? Unh! Uhh! Wah! Unh! All right! I did it! Ooh, wait another minute, and that would have been yours truly.
Now to locate my buds before shred head does.
What are we gonna do when we find shredder? Anything he asks us to.
He's got Michelangelo, remember? Maybe, but it's not over yet.
We've still got a few tricks up our sleeve.
Here it is-- I'm so glad you could make it, turtles, and I'm sure your friend Michelangelo is, too.
What have you done with him? You'll be sorry if you harmed him.
Harm him? On his birthday? Oh, what a horrifying thought.
Speaking of birthdays, what did you get him? Hey, never mind the jokes, shecky.
Where ya keepin' him? If you wish, I'll take you there.
You drive.
Shredder in the turtle van? We have no choice, Raphael.
Get in, shredder.
That's precisely right-- you have no choice.
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
Whoa.
No way.
We may have to put up with you, shredder, but not your hench-mutants.
You win a few, you lose a few.
How are we supposed to get to the hideout, boss? Don't ask me, you cretins! Use your pea-sized brains.
What do we do now, rock steady? Uh, don't worry, bebop.
I got a idea.
[PANTING.]
Oh, bummer.
I must have just missed them.
Michelangelo, at last! Whoa, master splinter! Am I glad to see you! I assure you, the feeling is mutual.
I have searched everywhere for you/ well, did you check out Vinnie's fast food pizzeria? Well, almost everywhere.
Where are the others? They arranged to meet shredder here in order to save you.
I think I know where they're headed.
Come on.
We gotta haul shell.
Right this way.
So this is your hideout-- an abandoned building! What a brilliantly original idea.
[BOTH GRUNTING.]
These things are hard work.
You're just out of shape.
No way.
I'm just pooped from getting these bikes away from them brats.
Yeah.
For a couple of 4-year-olds, they put up a great fight.
Forgive the messy appearance, gentlemen.
If I'd known you were coming, I would have tidied up the place.
Hmm, chandelier's a nice touch.
That was my idea.
I felt the place could use some cheering up.
Let's skip the guided tour.
Where's Michelangelo? Oh, of course.
Your green friend.
There he is, or should I say was.
Gentlemen, witness the last remains of the mutant Michelangelo.
We're too late.
There's nothing left but a glob of green goo.
At least he went the way he would have wanted-- like a puddle of melted mozzarella.
And now it's your turn! [YELLING.]
Not exactly what I was striving for, but effective nonetheless.
Aw, phooey! We missed the whole show.
Oh, too bad.
There won't be a second performance.
[BEEP BEEP.]
Yes, krang? So what's going on up there? What exquisite timing! You called at the moment of my greatest triumph! As you can see, the turtles are no more.
If you ask me, the turtles are a lot more.
I guess the formula wasn't quite perfected.
No matter.
They're still out of my way for good.
Your way? Don't you mean our way? I know what I mean, you pompous little ganglion.
I don't need you any longer.
In fact, I don't need anyone.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Wrong, dude.
Splinter.
Michelangelo.
But I thought you were-- history? No way, metal mouth! Krang, I need you! Forget it, shredder.
In your own words, "I don't need you any longer.
" You'll be sorry.
You won't have shredder to kick around anymore.
All right, dude, now return my buds to normal teenage mutant ninja turtles, or you are vapor.
Better yet, I'll let you join your friends with this! Save that mutagen stuff, boss.
Yeah, we'll handle this wimp.
You think so, huh, dudes? [ALL GRUNTING.]
BEBOP AND ROCK STEADY: Whoa! Yah! Yah! BOTH: Wah! Oh, no, the antimutagen formula! All right, dude, it's payback time.
I wouldn't be so sure if I were you.
Ah! Au revoir, losers.
Uh, not so fast, boss.
My legs are tired from all of that pedaling.
They're getting away! Let them go, Michelangelo.
I fear we have [SIGHS.]
Larger problems to deal with.
Here, let me try something.
Yo, dudes, it's us! Like, say something.
It's no go, master.
They're just not doing the big relate-o.
Uh-oh, it looks like my buds have bought the turtle farm.
Do not give up, Michelangelo.
There is still something that might work.
These.
Marbles? Not exactly.
These spheres were given to me by a wise and ancient sensei.
They have special powers which should only be called on for special occasions such as this.
Like when you're in big trouble? Precisely! Holy guacamole, it worked! We're back to normal! Oh, that's awesome stuff.
What are those things, sensei? I believe they are commonly called mothballs.
Mothballs? Mothballs? You were expecting diamonds? But how could they shrink us back to normal? If someone believes in something strongly enough, it just might happen.
Yeah, but with mothballs? Hey, don't look a gift moth in the mouth.
Quite a day, huh, fellas? It was definitely a growth experience.
Hey, speaking of growth, do you guys realize today is my-- Michelangelo, please step this way.
Yes, master splinter? Please, pull back that curtain.
Surprise! Surprise! Whoa, you guys did remember after all! Aw, dudes, I don't know what to say.
Well, I do.
As you would put it, Michelangelo, let's party! Cowabunga! lions gate entertainment
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