That '80s Show (2002) s01e08 Episode Script

1 Go file these.
And this time? In Alphabetical order.
Where is that invoice? Oh, I'll get it.
Hey.
Hi.
Uh, Margaret needs that invoice for that shipment that just came in.
It's right there on the desk.
Where? It's right here.
Now, what is that invoice Doing down Tuesday's throat? Whoa.
Customer.
Can you believe that guy? He has no self-control.
Go price these.
Get off the counter! Jeez, it's like working with Fleetwood Mac.
Oh, I'll get these.
Someone's in a good mood.
Have I mentioned lately that I  love my job? I'm guessing this has something to do with Tuesday? Yep.
You know, work is a lot better when you're not actually doing work.
Well, what are you doing? Oh, I don't kiss and tell.
You just did.
Corey, I think you and Tuesday together are so sweet.
I mean, once you get past her Spikes, chains, and cynicism, she's like a tiny, fuzzy, Badger baby.
Man, I wish somebody at my car dealership was hot.
Terry in Parts is cute, but she's got a deeper voice than me and enormous hands.
You know, Terry can also be a man's name.
Well, that explains the Adam's apple.
You've made that mistake before.
When? You had a crush on our high school guidance counselor.
Katie, our guidance counselor was a woman.
Old man Benson was a woman? Hi, Katie, Corey, amusing sidekick.
Hi, Sophia.
Hey, aren't you gonna start working for my dad tomorrow? That's right.
You're looking at the new director of marketing.
Oh.
Do you have any actual marketing experience? I made a killing in the stock market.
I have fantastic organizational skills, let's not forget animal Print night that was great.
And as far as being able to set trends, I was cutting my sweatshirts months before  flashdance.
Mmm fuzzy navel.
How 'bout I freshen that up for you? You want more fuzz or more navel? Venus? Hey, Katie.
What are you doing here? I work here.
I was bartending down at the pink panther, but they went out of business.
[WHISPERING.]
Got closed down for dirty ice.
Roger, this is Venus, my aerobics instructor.
I tell people about you all the time.
You teach the best class.
Oh, yeah, I know.
And you, Katie, are my star pupil.
Venus is a professional dancer.
Oh, I had a few small gigs.
I was in the  thriller video.
For real? I was third zombie from the right.
Oh! Yeah! I didn't recognize you with all your flesh.
Ooh, there's my courvassier drinker.
I might not be back.
You should take her class, Roger.
I don't want to get too ripped.
Besides, aerobics? That's for girls.
Yeah, you're right.
You'd be the only guy.
It's at 3:00.
'80s I'm living in the '80s '80s ♪ I have to push, I have to struggle ♪ thank for shopping at permanent record.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
You know we really shouldn't do this with Margaret here.
You're right.
We should kill her.
Ok.
I'm coming out! Are you decent? Margaret, uh, we need to order more, uh we're running low on-- saliva? Sorry, Margaret.
We'll get back to work.
No, get out of here.
Go romp, frolic.
Enjoy your youth and get it out of my face.
Thanks, Margaret.
Oh.
Chase me.
Don't be stupid.
Sophia, I know you must feel intimidated.
I mean, marketing mail order exercise equipment isn't as simple as it seems.
The gut whacker, the Butt luge these things don't sell themselves.
And by god, it's a corporate jungle out there.
It can be tough for a lady.
I've heard about that glass ceiling.
It sounds scary.
Yeah, I had one installed over the bed in my timeshare.
Uh, word to the WISE: Go with the expensive bolts.
Thanks for giving me this chance, rt.
I'll try not to let you down.
Come on.
Ok, everyone.
I want you to meet the newest member of team rt.
As you can see, Sophia is a dynamite lady with the GOODS both upstairs and down.
[LAUGHS.]
Thanks, rt.
You're welcome.
Ok, let's get started.
Anybody got any ideas for the new fall campaign? Gary? I'm thinking more radio, both a.
M.
And f.
M.
Sophia, you have any thoughts? Oh, I didn't want to interrupt Gary.
No, no.
That-- that's all I got.
Well, radio is an interesting idea.
Here's why it won't work.
People don't want to hear about beautiful bodies, they want to see them.
Am I right, rt? I can't get enough.
Exactly.
Now, who's in charge of Television? Uh, Carl.
Great.
Now, with your permission, rt, I would like to take Gary and Carl and fold them into a new division.
And I'll do a weekly assessment and I'll bring it directly to you.
I mean, oh, you two will still be in charge, you'll just be reporting to me.
Consolidation.
Not bad.
Oh, and one more thing, and I'm sorry if I'm not very good with names, but Paul, Tommy, Rick Let's get together later and Figure out how you can best interface with me.
Write up a synopsis of what you do, and be sure to include why this company needs you.
Oh, this is fun.
Everyone here is so nice.
So, will there be radio spots? Well-- rt? Oh, it's noon! Yeah, I promised the little lady I'd take her to lunch.
Maybe you guys could take this time just to-- to get a jump start on what we just talked about.
Tick tock.
What did I tell you? The goods downstairs, huh? [VENUS CLAPS.]
Ok, everybody, are you ready to show your body who's boss? [ALL CHEERING.]
Hey, Katie.
I see you brought your little friend Robert.
Uh, Roger.
Oh, whatever, honey.
Just find a spot and get ready to surrender to the mighty Venus.
All right, deep breath in, and heel hops-- and 5, 6, 7, 8! [AFRIKA BAMBAATAA'S   PLANET ROCK PLAYING.]
All right! Pelvis tucked! Chest lifted! Squeeze those buttocks! Not with your hands! Looking good.
Take it up to the front.
It takes time.
You'll get it.
I'm not feeling the energy! You people better get in shape or get ready to die alone! Isn't she great? Roger, stop it.
Stop it! That's right.
Everybody stop it and look what he's doing.
Katie and Roger, change places.
Roger is up front! Everybody watch Roger.
What is that called? I call it "the Roger.
" Oh, Roger.
Ok, Roger! All: Roger! Roger! Roger! Welcome to just gelato.
My name is Glenn.
I'll be your host.
What can I get for you? I'll have a cup of coffee.
Uh, sorry, ma'am.
Just gelato, like it says on the sign.
Oh, ok.
Uh, then I'll have a tuna sandwich.
Just gelato.
We'll have 2 scoops of limone.
This is nice, huh? Afternoon off, just the two of us talking.
Did you just say "Limone"? It's not limone, it's Lemon.
Shut up.
I can say whatever I want.
And you do this really weird thing with your mouth.
[IMITATING.]
Limone.
Limone.
Li-- mone.
Getting kicked out of work is great.
Yeah.
Hey, hey.
Did you ever accuse a customer of shoplifting just to mess with him because you were bored? Yeah.
I did it to your sister once.
Did you ever hide an album you wanted so no one else would but it until you had the money? Of course.
Hey, did you ever not ring something up and then just pocket the cash? No.
No.
Me neither.
I do that sometimes.
Excuse me.
This is great.
You know, this-- this thing we have.
This what? You know, this thing.
This relationship.
Why did you do that? What? Name it.
Well, what's the big deal? That's what it is, isn't it? [LAUGHS.]
Yeah.
But the minute you call it that, the status changes and then somebody's got the upper hand.
So, can we just stop talking? Yeah, Yeah.
We'll just make out all the time and never talk.
Good.
No, that's stupid.
No, you're stupid! What? I'm out of here! Oh, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
That's right, run.
Yeah, you're good at that.
You know, you learn a thing or two about love in the gelato game.
Glenn? Sorry.
Oh, by the way, it's Lemon.
[DOG BARKING.]
Hey, mrs.
Nealon, will you please shut your dog up? We're trying to relax over here.
Mrs.
Nealon: You shut up! Rt, you've got to try aerobics.
It really works.
I got 5 phone numbers.
Only 3 of them are fake.
Aerobics is a load of crap, Roger.
You need a bunch of expensive exercise equipment that you buy off the television to get in shape, and that's the only way.
I'm never going to aerobics class again.
Why not? You're great in class.
But I'm no Roger.
Come on.
You're not upset about that? Yes, I am.
I was this close to leading the class.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have invited me.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have come.
Ok, ok, you two.
Cut it out or so help me, I will turn this hot tub right around and we'll go home.
Fine.
Show off.
Baby.
So what is with your friend, Sophia? Here I give her this cakewalk job so I'll have something pretty to look at.
She comes in and acts like she's running the place.
The only thing saving my reputation is half the guys in the office think I'm nailing her.
[LAUGHS.]
Pig.
Prude.
Hey am I doing something wrong? Do I just not get it? I mean, all I did was take Tuesday out for an innocent cup of gelato.
Oh, Corey, what is it? It's a creamy italian ice cream.
No, I mean, what happened? I was talking to tuesday about our relationship, and she flipped out and left.
Relationship? How did I stay 23 and you turned 50? I was just wondering where tuesday and I were going, you know? Who cares? You know what? I'm not sure this is gonna work.
I mean, do I really want to be in a relationship with Someone who can't talk about the fact that they're in a relationship? Did you just say "Relationship," like, a hundred times? You know, I'm just gonna pull way back.
Good idea.
Mauled by the tiger once, shame on the tiger.
Mauled by the tiger twice, you're a moron.
Rt, I'm not sure that's how it goes.
Oh, that's how it goes.
Now move.
You're blocking my jet.
Roger blocks Everybody's jet.
Where's kajagoogoo? Aw are we making baby talky? Does boo boo have a poo poo didey? Hit the bricks, freak.
Oh, are you putting something on? Go--go ahead.
Corey, that's the first time you talked to me today.
Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.
[THE CRAMPS'  GOO GOO MUCK PLAYING.]
This is about yesterday, isn't it? Oh, no, it's cool.
We're good.
I just think maybe we moved a little too fast.
We should back off.
I'm gonna take the mail down to the post office.
Uh, tuesday? Pumpkin, can I talk to you for a minute? Why does everybody want to talk so much? Listen is your office romance in the toilet? Why do you care? Oh, I care a lot.
Because if this little soap opera is over, then I just work at a record store.
Corey says we need to back off.
I mean, what's with that? You know, I'm--I'm-- I'm too old for these games.
Honey I got meat in my freezer older than you.
I gotta throw that out.
Corey pisses me off.
You know, he's all, "Back off" This and "Limone" That.
He's infuriating.
I just don't want to get burned, you know what I mean? You don't have to tell me.
Joe Walsh and I were messing around with kerosene and Road flares once.
That's why I can't wear shorts.
Why do guys have to screw everything up? Men are tough.
I don't want to tell you how many guys I've been with, 'cause technically, I don't know but it's always good to have at least one nice guy on the list.
And Corey? He's a nice guy.
Can I go? What, I'm gonna stop you after my big speech? Get out of here.
Yeah, I'll just stay here with My long pants and my memories.
Oh, Paul.
It's a new system.
It's gonna take some time.
If you can't move the product by Wednesday, I understand.
I'll make a call and take care of it right now.
Tommy, Sophia.
I don't know what's going on with Paul.
I think it's a drug problem.
Go downstairs and ride his ass like a shetland pony until he empties the warehouse.
Get it done! Sophia I think it's time we have a little talk.
All right, but I've got a 3:00.
Make it quick.
I can't help but notice how you seemed to have moved right in here.
After all, this is my office.
I brought you the sales figures, and I got your car waxed.
Good.
Would you bring it around? I have an appointment.
Gary, sit down.
Gary, get my car.
Gary, sit down.
Gary, get my car.
I tell Gary what to do.
Very Well, then.
Gary, get her car.
Sophia your cutthroat ambition and scare tactics Have really turned this place on its ear.
So, I've made a decision.
Are you firing me? [LAUGHS.]
No.
But I will be taking wednesdays off.
Obviously, you can handle things around here, and I'm thinking about buying a boat.
By the way, I'm upping the ante.
I'm giving you a 5% raise.
Pass.
What? I crunched the numbers, and videx can't afford to lose me.
So let's make it 15%.
Otherwise, I'll go work for your leading competitor.
Buffco?! you probably would do that.
All right.
All right, you'll get your raise.
But just remember one thing: I'm still the boss.
For now.
What did you say? I said, "For now.
" That's what I thought you said.
[CLUB MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh, look, Roger.
Venus is working.
Do you want to sit on my stool? It's closer to Venus.
Katie, you knew when you invited me to that class, you were taking a risk.
I mean, I got the moves and you don't got the notion.
This is not the first time you've done this to me, Roger.
What are you talking about? Junior high talent show.
I was flawlessly lip synching to Minnie riperton, and you just had to come out there with those platform shoes and giant glasses.
I had the better act.
Besides, look who's talking.
Remember when you bedazzled your Jean jacket and Everybody loved it? That was my idea.
But I was my bedazzler.
I am not going to dignify that with an answer.
Front of the line was mine, Roger.
Hey it's my 2 star pupils.
You know, nothing does my heart as good as when a friend brings another friend to class and lets them glitter in the glow that is Venus.
Ooh, it's courvassier and he's wearing a turtleneck.
Makes him look like Billy Dee.
We shouldn't let aerobics come between us.
It's already ruined so many other people's lives.
You're right, Katie.
I'm sorry.
I won't go back.
Thanks, Roger.
You shouldn't.
I'm doing a different class.
On wednesdays.
That's great.
You found your own class.
Actually, I'm teaching it.
[JOE JACKSON'S  STEPPING OUT PLAYING.]
Hi, Corey.
I'm pregnant.
[CRIES OUT.]
That was charming.
I just wanted to get rid of her.
Pretty effective, huh? Yeah.
Ok, what is it? I-- I don't want us to back off.
Go on.
This is ok, this thing that we're doing just don't screw this up, ok? Ok.
And I've been thinking that for every 8 minutes of making out, we'll have, say, 2 minutes of meaningful conversation.
Deal.
Mmm.
Mmm.
You know, I was thinking-- uh-uh.
You're on the clock.
No, you can't have it back.
You take care of things that are important to you or you lose them.
Mrs.
Nealon: Oh, rt, just give Pepper his damn ball! I told you to keep your lousy dog off my property! Go to hell! All right.
All right, mrs.
Nealon.
Why don't you just Peek your head over the fence and we'll talk like adults? Oh, hi! Ow! [LAUGHING.]