That's So Raven (2003) s01e10 Episode Script
Ye Olde Dating Game
Spring dance only comes once a year and there's only one thing stopping Gabriel Barnett from asking me to the dance and that's Gabriel Barnett asking me to the dance.
There he is.
I'm going in.
That's it.
I'm through playing hard-to-get.
He didn't even look at you.
Eddie, what does a girl have to do to get a guy to notice her? What is under my nail? I swear I don't remember eating that.
Stinky Sturkey.
Oh hi, guys.
Hey.
So, you ladies going to the spring dance? I love spring.
Everything just smells so fresh.
Ah So, you guys know anybody that still doesn't have a date for the dance? No.
'Cause Ben Sturkey's looking.
Oh, man.
Poor Ben.
He is so desperate to find a date to the dance.
Desperate is not good.
Please ask me to the dance.
Please.
Rae, I've always wanted you to be my girlfriend.
Chelsea, I just saw Gabriel ask me to be his girlfriend at the Renaissance dance and he's going as a prince.
My prince.
Hey, Rae, guess who just told me he wants to ask you to the dance.
Oh, I have a pretty good idea and, trust me, I will be ready for him.
Good for you.
I mean, 'cause not a lot of girls would go with Stinky Sturkey.
You know, that's just the kind of girl I'm going where with who? Yep, that's me.
There is no way I can DJ this dance, Chelsea.
Eddie, why not? Because you picked this lame Renaissance theme.
I mean, I could have done '50s sock hop.
I could have even done-- what?-- Motown.
I would have even done country-western.
All the cowboys in the house say, "Ho!" See the activity I'm doing I could have did it real good.
Eddie, the Elizabethan era was cool and it was exciting.
You know, there was dancing and jousting and juggling and Plus, I'm the head of the Dance Committee so that means I get to be your queen therefore I command you to be the DJ! Please.
Have you seen Raven Baxter? Help me! Help me! Hide me! He's coming after me.
He's coming after me.
Uh, Rae-- the bale is not hiding the booty.
You guys I have been running from Ben all day.
You know, Rae, if he asks you, you could just say no.
I know, but he's such a sweet guy I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Besides, I just want Gabriel to ask me first so I can say "Gee, Ben, I'm sorry but I already have a date to the dance.
Oh.
So, Gabriel takes you to the dance.
He asks you to be his girlfriend and then your vision comes true.
I wasn't thinking that far ahead but that's all good to me.
He's a hundred feet and closing.
I still have time to escape.
Did I just see Raven come in here? Uh I have not seen Raven anywhere.
It's funny, 'cause I feel like I just keep missing her.
All right, well, I'll see you.
Hey.
Hey.
Uh, no Hay, stuck in your hair.
Look, there's Gabriel.
Okay, if my vision's going to come true I've got to get him to ask me to that dance.
Hey, Gabriel, nice camera.
Uh, this? Nah.
This is just the multizone autofocus with the 200-millimeter zoom lens.
Oh, well, you know, I can throw mine away.
Nice picture.
But, uh I wasn't even ready.
Oh, but those are the best ones.
You see, I like things that are spontaneous.
You do? Well, you know, there's a dance tomorrow night.
Yeah, I know, but I'm not going.
Oh, me neither.
Isn't that funny? You're not going-- I'm not going.
How come you're not going? I'm just not really into dancing.
I hate dancing.
Me neither.
But your shirt says, "Loves to Dance.
" Well, that's, that's, that's because I borrowed it from her.
She's a dancing fool.
Well, yeah, I'm just a dancing fool.
That's enough, dancing, fool.
Okay.
You know, I really don't even know why they have these spring dances.
Nobody even dances.
But, you know, they're good for a lot of different things.
I mean, people talk, you know, socialize.
Relationships are formed.
You know what? I'd love to.
Great, because that's Riley's seat.
Right.
Okay.
He is so wrong, Rae.
That's Matthew's seat.
Rae, I don't know about this petticoat.
It doesn't seem very royal.
Well, unless the queen wants her royal pants stuck in her royal butt she'd better be royally quiet.
Okay? All right.
So, Rae, um do you think you'd go to the dance with Ben if he didn't smell? Honestly? No.
I mean, he's a nice guy but unless he took a shower and came out as Gabriel it ain't there for me.
Well, you can't just hide from him forever.
Girl, I don't need forever.
Okay? I just need enough time for my future boyfriend to ask me to the dance.
Rae, I mean, I've been kinda sorta holding this back because I knew you'd feel I heard that Gabriel is taking Rachel to the dance.
Really? Oh, Rae, I'm sorry.
Hey, Raven your stinky boyfriend's here.
Oh, no.
Ben found me.
At your house.
Imagine that.
You know what, Corey? I need you to get rid of him for me.
Too bad some guys just can't read woman.
If a girl doesn't like you she doesn't like you.
But if she likes you you know it.
Ain't that right, baby? Be gone.
Okay, but I'll be back.
Leave him to me.
I'll let him down easy.
Raven told me to tell you she's not hiding upstairs in her bedroom.
Got it.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm due back in surgery.
Tell your sister I get the message.
Hey, Ben.
Oh, that's okay.
Your brother made things pretty clear.
Hey, Ben, how would you like to go to the dance with me? You want to go with me? Why not? I mean, you don't have a date I definitely don't got a date and now we do.
Really? Yeah.
Score.
Well, uh, I'll pick you up at 7:00.
Oh me and my mom will pick you up.
Rae, what'd you just do? Look, okay, he's a nice guy and he wants to go with me.
Besides, I'm not going with the guy that I want to go with so what's the big deal? Hello? Hi, Gabriel.
You want to go to the dance with me? What? You're going with Ben But I kind of heard that you were going with Rachel.
It ain't true, huh? Look, Gabriel, um, it's really sweet of you to ask me to the dance, but I'd love to go! Okay, bye.
What? I love to dance.
The only way I'm going to get out of this date with Ben is for him to find me disgusting and repulsive.
Have you tried standing this close to him? Okay look.
I don't want to hurt Ben's feelings so the only way to get through it is to get him to dump me.
Well, let me just pull out my "What's Disgusting About Raven" file.
Let me see, what do we have here? You have a file on that? Let's start with the A's, shall we? You have it alphabetical? Alphabetical, by date, by location and by body part.
How do you want it? Surprise me.
Okay, body parts.
You clip your toenails at the kitchen table.
I do not.
You blow your nose and then look in the tissue.
That was once, and it was a surprising color.
You could make a wig from all the hair you leave in the shower drain.
Okay, now, that is ridiculous.
The truth isn't pretty, my friend.
Okay, look, that's Ben.
I'm going to go upstairs and get ready.
You let him in, and start making me look bad.
A job I was born to do.
I'm here to fetch fair Raven.
She's upstairs deciding whether she can get away with the same underwear three days in a row.
Come in.
So, I see you're wearing armor.
Smart man.
What do you mean? Have you ever seen Raven eat? She's like a blender without the lid.
Brrrr plat! Hey! Sorry I'm late.
I didn't finish shaving.
Ooh, nice suit.
Let me Oh, uh you shave.
Twice a day.
You know? Oh, and if you don't want to be seen with me I totally understand.
Oh, no, Raven, I care about what's on the inside.
Oh, you do? Oh, that's great.
Well, could you help me out? Look in here.
Wait Is there a bat in the cave? No.
Check me.
Dance, peasants, dance! Oh, welcome to my merry, merry feast, sir knight and ugly hag.
Hey, Ben, do you mind getting me some punch? Oh, oh, we haveth no punch, only grog.
Fine.
Diet grog, grog, I don't care.
Just grog me.
Okay, thanks.
Well, at least he doesn't smell tonight.
Girl, it must be that armor.
I mean, the stink is sealed in there like a can of tuna.
Oh, look, there's Gabriel.
Rae, you cannot let him see you like that.
Girl, you know I got it covered.
Please.
All right, all right, all right.
This one here goes out to all the pretty ladies in the castle.
Tonight we're going to party like it's 1599! Eddie, no one's dancing.
You try to get a groove going with the music you gave me.
Edward! Do not question your queen.
Now return to your castle of funk and get thee jiggy with it.
You got problems.
If I knew you were going to get so dressed up I would have worn pants.
So, who are you supposed to be, Prince Charming, or something? No, actually, Charming was taken so you're stuck with Prince Congeniality.
Not really charming, but I'm popular around the castle.
I could listen to you talk forever.
But not right now.
Okay.
What? Hey, eat, drink, be merry.
Love me, miss me.
Okay.
Jester.
You have displeased me.
To the stocks! Hey, come on, let's dance, okay? It may be kind of hard in this but I can take it off.
No! What? They were finally dancing.
Your queen is not amused.
We need the classics.
Well, it's Motown! I want something more like this.
Protect your queen! Protect your queen! Protect your queen! Protect your queen! Hey, uh, I can't see.
Oh, well, then just feel the music.
Okay.
So something you want to tell me? Yeah.
What's that on your tooth? My tooth? My tooth.
Right.
Well, actually Hi, Chelsea.
Well, you've managed to bump the royal heinie! To the stocks.
Chelsea? To the stocks! Chelsea Now, to the stocks.
Go! Chelsea, no! Just play along and accept your punishment.
So, how are things going with Prince Charming and Sir Stink-alot? Not good.
Okay? Gabriel hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend Ben, he-he hasn't dumped me and my best friend just put me in the stocks.
So, come here, look.
I am psychic, and I didn't see this coming.
Man, so how long do you think you can keep this up? Just long enough for Gabriel and I to have some alone time.
But for some reason, Ben keeps hanging around me.
I don't know, Rae, maybe it's because he's your date.
Oh, look, look.
Gabriel's going into the hall.
This is my chance.
I got to get out of here.
Eddie? Eddie, I can't I can't get out of here.
It's locked, Rae, it's locked.
Well, there's just no time.
And now let the jousting begin! Rae.
Rae! Rachel, just stop and talk to me.
What? Rachel, I really wanted to come to the dance with you.
Then why are you here with Raven Baxter? Because you said yes to Jarrod and Raven's been dropping hints all week.
Look, she's a nice girl and she really wanted to go with me.
Look, I felt bad for her so I just asked her to the dance.
It's no big deal.
Do you like her? No.
Look, it's just a pity date.
It doesn't mean anything.
Rae, I've always wanted you to be my girlfriend.
I can't believe this.
Gabriel took me to the dance because he felt sorry for me.
A pity date? I mean, how could he do this? I really liked this guy.
How could he do that to me? Sort of like what you did to Ben.
Yeah, right.
Hey, Ben.
I've got to tell you something and it's really hard to say, so I'm just going to say it.
I shouldn't have asked you to the dance.
I mean, the only reason I did was because I knew you liked me and I thought if I asked you I would be nice and I guess it really wasn't very nice, was it? And I really I'm really sorry, Ben.
I know this is hard to hear, but Ben.
Ben, speak to me.
Um, how much of that did you hear? Well, unless there was a good part, all of it.
Ben, I really want us to be friends.
That's good, right? You hate me, don't you? I could never hate you.
He might hate you, but I never could.
So, um still need a date to the dance? Come on, my lady.
I mean, you know, it could've been worse.
You could've been here with another guy.
You don't know who you're dealing with! I am your queen! Eddie, tell them! Off with her head! You've got that mole on your foot that looks like an extra toe.
It's over, Corey.
The only thing that grows faster than the hair on your head is the hair on your lip.
There he is.
I'm going in.
That's it.
I'm through playing hard-to-get.
He didn't even look at you.
Eddie, what does a girl have to do to get a guy to notice her? What is under my nail? I swear I don't remember eating that.
Stinky Sturkey.
Oh hi, guys.
Hey.
So, you ladies going to the spring dance? I love spring.
Everything just smells so fresh.
Ah So, you guys know anybody that still doesn't have a date for the dance? No.
'Cause Ben Sturkey's looking.
Oh, man.
Poor Ben.
He is so desperate to find a date to the dance.
Desperate is not good.
Please ask me to the dance.
Please.
Rae, I've always wanted you to be my girlfriend.
Chelsea, I just saw Gabriel ask me to be his girlfriend at the Renaissance dance and he's going as a prince.
My prince.
Hey, Rae, guess who just told me he wants to ask you to the dance.
Oh, I have a pretty good idea and, trust me, I will be ready for him.
Good for you.
I mean, 'cause not a lot of girls would go with Stinky Sturkey.
You know, that's just the kind of girl I'm going where with who? Yep, that's me.
There is no way I can DJ this dance, Chelsea.
Eddie, why not? Because you picked this lame Renaissance theme.
I mean, I could have done '50s sock hop.
I could have even done-- what?-- Motown.
I would have even done country-western.
All the cowboys in the house say, "Ho!" See the activity I'm doing I could have did it real good.
Eddie, the Elizabethan era was cool and it was exciting.
You know, there was dancing and jousting and juggling and Plus, I'm the head of the Dance Committee so that means I get to be your queen therefore I command you to be the DJ! Please.
Have you seen Raven Baxter? Help me! Help me! Hide me! He's coming after me.
He's coming after me.
Uh, Rae-- the bale is not hiding the booty.
You guys I have been running from Ben all day.
You know, Rae, if he asks you, you could just say no.
I know, but he's such a sweet guy I don't want to hurt his feelings.
Besides, I just want Gabriel to ask me first so I can say "Gee, Ben, I'm sorry but I already have a date to the dance.
Oh.
So, Gabriel takes you to the dance.
He asks you to be his girlfriend and then your vision comes true.
I wasn't thinking that far ahead but that's all good to me.
He's a hundred feet and closing.
I still have time to escape.
Did I just see Raven come in here? Uh I have not seen Raven anywhere.
It's funny, 'cause I feel like I just keep missing her.
All right, well, I'll see you.
Hey.
Hey.
Uh, no Hay, stuck in your hair.
Look, there's Gabriel.
Okay, if my vision's going to come true I've got to get him to ask me to that dance.
Hey, Gabriel, nice camera.
Uh, this? Nah.
This is just the multizone autofocus with the 200-millimeter zoom lens.
Oh, well, you know, I can throw mine away.
Nice picture.
But, uh I wasn't even ready.
Oh, but those are the best ones.
You see, I like things that are spontaneous.
You do? Well, you know, there's a dance tomorrow night.
Yeah, I know, but I'm not going.
Oh, me neither.
Isn't that funny? You're not going-- I'm not going.
How come you're not going? I'm just not really into dancing.
I hate dancing.
Me neither.
But your shirt says, "Loves to Dance.
" Well, that's, that's, that's because I borrowed it from her.
She's a dancing fool.
Well, yeah, I'm just a dancing fool.
That's enough, dancing, fool.
Okay.
You know, I really don't even know why they have these spring dances.
Nobody even dances.
But, you know, they're good for a lot of different things.
I mean, people talk, you know, socialize.
Relationships are formed.
You know what? I'd love to.
Great, because that's Riley's seat.
Right.
Okay.
He is so wrong, Rae.
That's Matthew's seat.
Rae, I don't know about this petticoat.
It doesn't seem very royal.
Well, unless the queen wants her royal pants stuck in her royal butt she'd better be royally quiet.
Okay? All right.
So, Rae, um do you think you'd go to the dance with Ben if he didn't smell? Honestly? No.
I mean, he's a nice guy but unless he took a shower and came out as Gabriel it ain't there for me.
Well, you can't just hide from him forever.
Girl, I don't need forever.
Okay? I just need enough time for my future boyfriend to ask me to the dance.
Rae, I mean, I've been kinda sorta holding this back because I knew you'd feel I heard that Gabriel is taking Rachel to the dance.
Really? Oh, Rae, I'm sorry.
Hey, Raven your stinky boyfriend's here.
Oh, no.
Ben found me.
At your house.
Imagine that.
You know what, Corey? I need you to get rid of him for me.
Too bad some guys just can't read woman.
If a girl doesn't like you she doesn't like you.
But if she likes you you know it.
Ain't that right, baby? Be gone.
Okay, but I'll be back.
Leave him to me.
I'll let him down easy.
Raven told me to tell you she's not hiding upstairs in her bedroom.
Got it.
Now if you'll excuse me I'm due back in surgery.
Tell your sister I get the message.
Hey, Ben.
Oh, that's okay.
Your brother made things pretty clear.
Hey, Ben, how would you like to go to the dance with me? You want to go with me? Why not? I mean, you don't have a date I definitely don't got a date and now we do.
Really? Yeah.
Score.
Well, uh, I'll pick you up at 7:00.
Oh me and my mom will pick you up.
Rae, what'd you just do? Look, okay, he's a nice guy and he wants to go with me.
Besides, I'm not going with the guy that I want to go with so what's the big deal? Hello? Hi, Gabriel.
You want to go to the dance with me? What? You're going with Ben But I kind of heard that you were going with Rachel.
It ain't true, huh? Look, Gabriel, um, it's really sweet of you to ask me to the dance, but I'd love to go! Okay, bye.
What? I love to dance.
The only way I'm going to get out of this date with Ben is for him to find me disgusting and repulsive.
Have you tried standing this close to him? Okay look.
I don't want to hurt Ben's feelings so the only way to get through it is to get him to dump me.
Well, let me just pull out my "What's Disgusting About Raven" file.
Let me see, what do we have here? You have a file on that? Let's start with the A's, shall we? You have it alphabetical? Alphabetical, by date, by location and by body part.
How do you want it? Surprise me.
Okay, body parts.
You clip your toenails at the kitchen table.
I do not.
You blow your nose and then look in the tissue.
That was once, and it was a surprising color.
You could make a wig from all the hair you leave in the shower drain.
Okay, now, that is ridiculous.
The truth isn't pretty, my friend.
Okay, look, that's Ben.
I'm going to go upstairs and get ready.
You let him in, and start making me look bad.
A job I was born to do.
I'm here to fetch fair Raven.
She's upstairs deciding whether she can get away with the same underwear three days in a row.
Come in.
So, I see you're wearing armor.
Smart man.
What do you mean? Have you ever seen Raven eat? She's like a blender without the lid.
Brrrr plat! Hey! Sorry I'm late.
I didn't finish shaving.
Ooh, nice suit.
Let me Oh, uh you shave.
Twice a day.
You know? Oh, and if you don't want to be seen with me I totally understand.
Oh, no, Raven, I care about what's on the inside.
Oh, you do? Oh, that's great.
Well, could you help me out? Look in here.
Wait Is there a bat in the cave? No.
Check me.
Dance, peasants, dance! Oh, welcome to my merry, merry feast, sir knight and ugly hag.
Hey, Ben, do you mind getting me some punch? Oh, oh, we haveth no punch, only grog.
Fine.
Diet grog, grog, I don't care.
Just grog me.
Okay, thanks.
Well, at least he doesn't smell tonight.
Girl, it must be that armor.
I mean, the stink is sealed in there like a can of tuna.
Oh, look, there's Gabriel.
Rae, you cannot let him see you like that.
Girl, you know I got it covered.
Please.
All right, all right, all right.
This one here goes out to all the pretty ladies in the castle.
Tonight we're going to party like it's 1599! Eddie, no one's dancing.
You try to get a groove going with the music you gave me.
Edward! Do not question your queen.
Now return to your castle of funk and get thee jiggy with it.
You got problems.
If I knew you were going to get so dressed up I would have worn pants.
So, who are you supposed to be, Prince Charming, or something? No, actually, Charming was taken so you're stuck with Prince Congeniality.
Not really charming, but I'm popular around the castle.
I could listen to you talk forever.
But not right now.
Okay.
What? Hey, eat, drink, be merry.
Love me, miss me.
Okay.
Jester.
You have displeased me.
To the stocks! Hey, come on, let's dance, okay? It may be kind of hard in this but I can take it off.
No! What? They were finally dancing.
Your queen is not amused.
We need the classics.
Well, it's Motown! I want something more like this.
Protect your queen! Protect your queen! Protect your queen! Protect your queen! Hey, uh, I can't see.
Oh, well, then just feel the music.
Okay.
So something you want to tell me? Yeah.
What's that on your tooth? My tooth? My tooth.
Right.
Well, actually Hi, Chelsea.
Well, you've managed to bump the royal heinie! To the stocks.
Chelsea? To the stocks! Chelsea Now, to the stocks.
Go! Chelsea, no! Just play along and accept your punishment.
So, how are things going with Prince Charming and Sir Stink-alot? Not good.
Okay? Gabriel hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend Ben, he-he hasn't dumped me and my best friend just put me in the stocks.
So, come here, look.
I am psychic, and I didn't see this coming.
Man, so how long do you think you can keep this up? Just long enough for Gabriel and I to have some alone time.
But for some reason, Ben keeps hanging around me.
I don't know, Rae, maybe it's because he's your date.
Oh, look, look.
Gabriel's going into the hall.
This is my chance.
I got to get out of here.
Eddie? Eddie, I can't I can't get out of here.
It's locked, Rae, it's locked.
Well, there's just no time.
And now let the jousting begin! Rae.
Rae! Rachel, just stop and talk to me.
What? Rachel, I really wanted to come to the dance with you.
Then why are you here with Raven Baxter? Because you said yes to Jarrod and Raven's been dropping hints all week.
Look, she's a nice girl and she really wanted to go with me.
Look, I felt bad for her so I just asked her to the dance.
It's no big deal.
Do you like her? No.
Look, it's just a pity date.
It doesn't mean anything.
Rae, I've always wanted you to be my girlfriend.
I can't believe this.
Gabriel took me to the dance because he felt sorry for me.
A pity date? I mean, how could he do this? I really liked this guy.
How could he do that to me? Sort of like what you did to Ben.
Yeah, right.
Hey, Ben.
I've got to tell you something and it's really hard to say, so I'm just going to say it.
I shouldn't have asked you to the dance.
I mean, the only reason I did was because I knew you liked me and I thought if I asked you I would be nice and I guess it really wasn't very nice, was it? And I really I'm really sorry, Ben.
I know this is hard to hear, but Ben.
Ben, speak to me.
Um, how much of that did you hear? Well, unless there was a good part, all of it.
Ben, I really want us to be friends.
That's good, right? You hate me, don't you? I could never hate you.
He might hate you, but I never could.
So, um still need a date to the dance? Come on, my lady.
I mean, you know, it could've been worse.
You could've been here with another guy.
You don't know who you're dealing with! I am your queen! Eddie, tell them! Off with her head! You've got that mole on your foot that looks like an extra toe.
It's over, Corey.
The only thing that grows faster than the hair on your head is the hair on your lip.