The A-Team (1983) s02e01 Episode Script
Diamonds 'n Dust
NARRATOR: In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a miIitary court for a crime they didn't commit.
These men promptIy escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los AngeIes underground.
Today, stiII wanted by the government, they survive as soIdiers of fortune.
If you have a probIem, if no one eIse can heIp and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[Theme music.]
[Slow instrumental music.]
[Suspenseful instrumental music.]
That crazy old buzzard just won't give it up, will he? We've got Griffin, and he's loaded with supplies on his way to the mine.
FLETCHER: ls he alone? SCHECKTER: He sure is, Mr.
FIetcher.
See to it that he doesn't make it.
[Suspenseful instrumental music intensifies.]
[Car brakes screeching.]
[Gun firing.]
Another winner! Good shooting, mister.
Give the little lady anything she likes on the side shelf.
HANNlBAL: There you go, lady.
HANNlBAL: Step right up and test your skill.
Three shots for $1.
Everybody's a winner.
Three ducks, pick anything on the side shelf.
That's it, lady, step right up.
Another winner! Three ducks and take home a teddy for Freddie.
Lovely sweater, my dear.
Shoot a little low and to the left.
[Gun firing.]
l'm on a cold streak, here.
Another winner! Anything you like on the side shelf.
l was told l might find a gentleman here named Louie.
Doesn't sound familiar.
What's his last name? l was supposed to meet him here at 10:00.
HANNlBAL: What's your business? Carnival's a small place.
Maybe l can ask around.
lt's not that sort of business.
Sorry l bothered you.
Just a minute, lady.
Everybody's a winner.
Step right up and test your skill.
Three shots for $1.
l'm not sure l understand this.
[Carnival music playing.]
TOBY: Hello.
HANNlBAL: Come in, my dear.
You're looking for Louie? TOBY: Look, mister, l don't know who you are but for two weeks, l've been waiting in empty warehouses cheap hotels, and taking taxicabs to meet someone in the middle of nowhere.
TOBY: Are we just going to stare at each other? HANNlBAL: lf you're looking for the A-Team, Miss Griffin you've found them.
B.
A Face Amy Murdock.
MURDOCK: Bogey the Bear Show.
[Murdock singing silly song.]
B.
A.
: Get out of there, man.
Now, Miss Griffin, why don't you tell us what this is all about? AMY: Maybe l can help you out.
AMY: You're the daughter of an Australian national.
Your father was a dreamer, with a very colorful past.
He was a lifer with the Bushnell Cavaliers.
AMY: When he retired, he went to South Africa where he spent all of his time prospecting diamond mines.
Everybody thought he was nuts.
Nuts! Now we're cooking! AMY: But you think he found one.
You think he was murdered.
Right after he staked a claim.
How do you know all that? Let's just say if we didn't, you wouldn't have gotten this far.
He had a dream.
All his life, he wanted his own mine.
lt wasn't even the money.
lt was the romance of it.
My father was like a big kid when it came to that place.
Who'd want to kill a big kid? TOBY: Jonathan Fletcher.
He owns a piece of every mine in South Africa.
He wasn't about to let my father have one little mine he could call his own.
Now Fletcher can claim that mine after 30 days, unless l can get it working.
We don't work mines.
l don't see how we can help you.
With transport.
Fletcher controls the only road that leads to my father's mine and l can't get any dynamite in because he won't allow anyone through.
Unless you can help me, l'm gonna lose everything my father worked for.
What do you want with dynamite? Wouldn't that blow the diamonds everywhere? lt's not for the diamonds.
We have other equipment for that.
lt's to blow out an airshaft so we can work the lower levels of the mine.
TOBY: But like l said, l need somebody to get it up that road.
That's what my father was trying to do when Fletcher had him killed.
l couldn't save his life, but l can save his dream.
l need your help.
Give the lady an estimate, Face.
With the cost overrides, perks, per diems, light armaments mileage bonus, $210,000.
You've got to be kidding! South Africa's out of the zone.
We had to add 20%%.
lf you pay peanuts, lady, you wind up hiring monkeys.
TOBY: lt's all l have.
My father sent it to me before he was murdered.
Keep it as collateral, and if you pull this off l'll give you 10%% of the mine's find in the first year.
-What do you say, Face? -Has a center flaw, but it will cut up nicely.
Give it back.
Miss Griffin, you just hired the A-Team.
Pay us when we finish the job.
Meet me at this address the day after tomorrow.
Bulawayo, Zulabwe.
Bulawayo, Zulabwe? Man, l ain't flying there! Of course you're not, B.
A.
[Upbeat instrumental music.]
Nurse, l want BP readings every six minutes.
Continue monitoring adrenalin levels.
Slow down here a minute.
What's going on? HANNlBAL: You must be Mr.
Bellar.
l don't know a Mr.
Bellar.
What are you doing? What's going on? Bellar's supposed to expedite this.
l can't let you board, l'm sorry.
l need to see some kind of paperwork.
HANNlBAL: Paperwork, sir.
Chief Babaracas must be on an operating table in Johannesburg in 1 2 hours or he will die.
-Die? -Yes, and on your airplane.
Sign here.
Sir, in a small way, you have served medical science.
The AMA thanks you, the Chief thanks you, his tribe thanks you.
[Hippo snorting.]
HANNlBAL: Come on, Murdock, you're scaring the animals.
FACE: You're also waking up B.
A.
B.
A.
: l said l wasn't flying to Africa, but l'm here.
l said l wasn't flying to no Borneo, and l was there.
The same with Mexico, Latin America and anywhere else you guys want to hustle me into.
B.
A.
, life's roads have many twists.
l'm getting tired of all these tricks you keep playing on me.
This is the last time! There's the place.
HANNlBAL: B.
A.
You hang around out here.
You see any governmental types, let us know.
Take care of Bogey for me, will you? He ain't old enough to drink yet.
B.
A.
: The man's nuts! Bartender, give us a round of beers.
There's nothing like a clandestine meeting.
We could meet anywhere in Zulabwe and Fletcher would know about it.
TOBY: He owns the whole country.
Anyway, l'm hiring people who can handle themselves, right? But you're not paying us to be stupid.
Now, did you get the truck and supplies? Everything but the dynamite.
The owner of the supply store wouldn't sell it to me.
Really? l'm a little light on wardrobe, but maybe l can work something out.
Shall we see what we can do? -You got it, Face-guy.
-Pleasure.
Mr.
Fletcher, this is Jake down at the Come Lucky.
Old man Griffin's kid is talking some business.
l don't know if this is gonna work.
What country did you say this uniform's from? Sherman Oaks Neighborhood Watch and Parent Patrol.
MURDOCK: What rank? FACE: Chief Crossing Guard.
-Terrific.
-Murdock, it's the singer, not the song.
This'll work.
-You think you can do it? -Surely you must be jesting, old chap.
After l saw Bridge on the River Kwai it took me six months to realise l wasn't Peter O'Toole.
You mean Alec Guinness.
Peter O'Toole wasn't in that picture.
He was, if you saw him through these eyes.
[Moran coughing.]
Good afternoon, gents.
What can l do for you this afternoon? -Morey Moran? -Yes.
Then l can assume that these are your initials on this purchase order.
-M.
M.
? -Yes.
What are you doing? Calling Headquarters to tell them we're questioning the suspect.
Suspect? Wait a minute-- You have already conceded, sir, that your initials are on the document.
Please do not complicate matters by perjuring yourself.
Look, l don't have to stand here and take this from a.
Who are you guys, anyway? That's Colonel Bradley Lexington, Salisbury Explosives and Arms Control.
l'm Edmund Morris, United Nations attaché to Zulabwe.
l ain't done nothing wrong.
Why don't you go put somebody else's knickers in a twist? MURDOCK: We are not amused.
MURDOCK: On 16 December, 1982, this establishment sold to the Parker Construction Company.
Do you concur? So what? l'm a supply store.
But-- To continue, said dynamite was defective and a premature explosion caused the untidy demise of 22 workers employed to renovate the bridge at Breaker Pass.
How do you respond to that? By saying that's bloody impossible 'cause there ain't no bridge over Breaker Pass, that's why.
ldiot! There is no need to brutalize the Queen's English along with your other crimes, which now include impugning a loyal subject of Her Royal Majesty! Come on, you guys must be kidding.
l sell good stuff here, and everyone knows it.
Don't make me laugh.
No kippers, no English herringbone tweeds, no meat pies no Rolls-Royce petrol caps no original pressings of Hey Jude.
You, sir, are a miserable excuse for a shop keep.
And l don't see any state seals or shipping dates on any of these.
Mr.
Moran, you're not buying this on the black market, are you? l bought this stuff all legal, and you can bank that at Barclays.
Then where are the state seals? We're gonna have to confiscate this as contraband.
FACE: Colonel Lexington, could you give me a hand, please? -Delighted.
-No, look.
[Moran stuttering.]
SCHECKTER: Ever see him before? Probably came down from the high country for supplies.
HANNlBAL: Can you show me on the map a way through Solomon's Pass? TOBY: Our route would be through this passage here.
Solomon's Pass.
The roads may be a bit rough, but monsoon season is over so there's not much of a danger of slides.
TOBY: lf we start at first light and we're lucky, we should make it by nightfall.
You're gonna need more than luck, darling.
You've been warned about this, Miss Griffin.
You know this piece of cheese? Take a little healthy advice, mister.
Don't work for that lady.
lt's rough country out there, you might get bitten in the middle of the night.
Great.
Since l gave up golf, my life has been real boring.
TOBY: The mine was my father's, Scheckter.
The claim was properly filed in Salisbury.
And l'm going to work it.
Otherwise, he died for nothing.
You try to work that mine and you might have the same kind of accident that killed him.
They say bad luck runs in families.
HANNlBAL: l've heard it's the same with stupidity.
Or was it ugliness? [Fast-paced instrumental music.]
Thanks, B.
A.
Nice, B.
A.
You're gonna die for this, mister.
Come on, ladies.
Come on, B.
A.
[Sinister instrumental music.]
[Phone ringing.]
Yes.
SCHECKTER: Scheckter.
I'm at the Come Lucky.
Scheckter, yes? SCHECKTER: I'm sorry, Mr.
FIetcher, we messed up.
You're not paid to mess up! You kill them if you have to! No one opens that mine but me! You understand? [Upbeat instrumental music.]
[Murdock yelling.]
l'm warning you, Murdock.
l got enough trouble with these roads without you making all that stupid noise.
Take it easy, B.
A.
How's this thing doing? This thing is running terrible.
Seems like it's come from one of Face's scams.
Let's not get personal when we have company.
-How much further is it? -About 20 miles.
That is if Scheckter and his men don't try to kill us first.
They'll try.
The question is where.
You take Jaspers and Baker over to Solomon's Pass just west of the ravine.
Ambush them.
No problem.
Just like we do with old man Griffin.
SCHECKTER: We'll go back to the mine, clean out the rest of those workers.
We'll see you back at Fletcher's.
Turn them inside out.
Keep driving like that, and you'll get us there in a big ball of fire.
Don't tell me how to drive, man.
ls this what l get for $210,000? Come on, this is the way it's done in all the Tarzan movies! -That's right.
-Sure.
First, the pretty lady hires a safari to help her find the legendary elephant graveyard.
Then one of the jungle party goes mad from drinking swamp water.
Ten days later, they're hopelessly lost! The porters abandon them as they've crossed into the land of bad magic.
Things are bad.
Just as they are about to fall prey to the savage natives-- Some dude in a loincloth and a $40 haircut swings in and saves the day.
[Murdock whoops.]
-How's it going back there, Face? -Not good, Colonel.
Gets real unstable when it's wet, and it's sweating pretty good.
l'm an expert on unstable.
This stuff is not unstable! This stuff won't even go off without a blasting cap.
Fraidy cats-- AMY: Murdock! Brilliant, Murdock.
We give this stuff one more good bounce and Murdock'll be telling his jokes to St.
Peter.
He's already heard them.
[Singing in bad Latin.]
Hang tight, B.
A.
[Fast-paced instrumental music.]
Go back up to the jeep and call Scheckter.
Tell him we've got these guys pinned down.
JASPERS: Right.
VANATTA: Go! HANNlBAL: Face, take the left.
Murdock, you take the right.
Get up the hill and flank them.
We'll keep them busy.
B.
A.
, cover us.
l'll get the women away from the dynamite.
Ready, go! [Fast-paced instrumental music continues.]
B.
A.
: My gun is jammed, Hannibal.
HANNlBAL: Here, take this.
Stand by to heat it up.
l'm going.
Hannibal, where are you going? -The front door.
Where else? -Stupid question.
MURDOCK: lt's Bogey the Bear time.
Freeze it! Bogey the Bear said, ''Freeze it!'' Make a move and l'll turn you into fruit salad.
HANNlBAL: On your feet, pal.
You guys throw a heck of a party.
Looks like l got the door prize.
[Murdock exclaims.]
-You all right, Murdock? -Yes.
l don' t think Bogey is gonna make it, Lieutenant.
FACE: Too bad.
B.
A.
: Hannibal! We lost this wheel and half the axle.
We ain't going nowhere, unless we walk.
-How far is it to the mine, Miss Griffin? -Too far.
[Tense instrumental music.]
HANNlBAL: An abandoned truck? You're putting me on.
FACE: Right up over the ridge.
l almost fell over it while l was chasing those guys.
HANNlBAL: Face, you're turning luck into an art form.
Art form's a bit much.
l prefer to think of it as talent for the remarkable.
This truck, was it an old blue pickup? Yeah.
Rusted-out paint job, some kind of artwork on the door.
FACE: Bird, gargoyle, something like that.
TOBY: A griffin.
He painted that stupid thing on the door by himself.
Thought it protected him.
Man, the parts we need could still be on her daddy's truck.
-l can get them and fix this thing.
-lt's a great idea, B.
A.
Give it a try.
HANNlBAL: Come on, Face.
What are you guys gonna do with us? We thought maybe we'd tie you to a tree and leave you for the lions.
They Iike a IittIe snack at night.
They get the munchies, right after Carson.
Could try the old lndian trick.
-Stake them out over an anthill? -l've always liked it.
l don't know.
l'm not sure how l'd get the ants to go for these two.
lt's easy.
Just stick an ice-cream cone right in their pocket.
You guys are crazy.
He is crazy.
We are just bad-tempered.
Okay, start walking.
VANATTA: What, you're letting us go? HANNlBAL: For now.
-We'll never make it back on foot.
-Try it on your hands and knees.
Move it.
Give Fletcher my regards.
Move it! [Soft sentimental instrumental music.]
The damage is on the top.
We can still get what we need.
He never had a chance, did he? No.
You okay, Toby? You can get the parts.
ls that what you said? You know, once three men beat up my father.
They hurt him real bad.
He almost died.
It ain't the same, I reaIise that.
I know you're so mad you want to bust.
But don't worry.
Them guys that got your father, they're gonna pay.
You got my word on that.
[Rhythmic instrumental music.]
Hurry up, you fool! You ready, B.
A.
? lt won't win no lndy 500, but it'll get us there.
HANNlBAL: Let's go, Miss Griffin.
You know, B.
A.
, with a pair of pliers and a little time you could fix anything but dinner.
[Rhythmic instrumental music resumes.]
You know, Toby we don't have to maintain this client-employee relationship forever.
l mean, after you work the mine for a couple of months, get it going good, we could meet in Hawaii.
l have access to a real nice condo on the Big lsland.
We could study volcanic eruptions together.
On the other hand, we could just have a quick drink in Johannesburg.
[Elephants trumpeting.]
Guys, without the risk of sounding melodramatic, goodbye forever! Pull up here.
The air's beginning to feel a little richer.
Like those diamonds know we're coming.
They're very intelligent, you know.
They have many facets.
When you get to know them, most of them are absolute gems.
Why do you want to stop here? lt's only another few minutes.
That stretch of road up there.
Now, that isn't where l'd like to see the A-Team memorial plaque erected.
That's Solomon's Pass.
My father's mine's not far beyond.
The road winds through the pass and ends up there, at the top of the cliff.
We have to go all the way there in order to get back up here? lt's the only way.
Didn't anybody consider putting in an escalator? Come on.
-Do l have to think of everything? -Believe me, it's the only way.
l've been here hundreds of times with my father.
l'm sure you have.
When l jump into that sleazy Fletcher's mind l'd find the first place l'd put an ambush is in Solomon's Pass.
Wait.
We're talking about vertical here, Hannibal.
Very.
Sergeant how do you feel about a little mountain climbing? Ain't no big thing.
All it is, is a whole lot of chin-ups.
-Just don't put me in no flying machine.
-Wouldn't think of it.
l want you to get up there as soon as you can and drop me a rope.
l want to pack that dynamite up the cliff.
That's suicide.
This stuff's sweating like it's got a fever.
lf we don't get the dynamite to the mine, there's no sense going.
HANNlBAL: Face, give B.
A.
that rope.
FACE: Right.
You're crazier than Murdock.
l'd pull it up with a block and tackle, but we can't.
One bad bounce and the lights go out.
lt's going up on my back.
B.
A.
: Don't touch that.
You get on the jazz with a pack of dynamite on your back it'll blow a hole big enough to bury an elephant.
l'll get the dynamite.
You stay away from it.
Now somebody got to help me with this.
l can't do it by myself.
All right, l'll take the rope up.
HANNlBAL: And you need a volunteer, right? B.
A.
: Right.
Right.
Don't you smile at me like that.
That's not even a real smile.
Just a bunch of teeth playing with my mind! VANATTA: Why didn't you come back for us? We could have died! Enough! Where are they now? JASPER: They fixed the truck.
Passed us when we were walking back.
They are going northeast.
Probably heading for the mine.
Before they get there, we'll stop them in the pass.
They've had a very long drive in a jerry-rigged truck and we have the helicopter.
Care to make any wagers? lt may not be that easy.
They get through that pass they can pick up reinforcements at the mine.
We'll fly there first, and scatter those workers for good.
Tell Scheckter we'll back them up at the mine.
HANNlBAL: You two all right? AMY: Yeah.
AMY: Murdock, are you okay? l thought l heard some buzzing.
What else do you expect from the human fly? The climber of walls, source of annoyance ruiner of picnics, sticky of foot! HANNlBAL: B.
A.
, Face, okay.
[Suspenseful instrumental music.]
l hope the packs hold.
-What if-- -lf they don't hold that's about it.
Just about where we're at.
Look out, Face! FACE: B.
A.
, your pack's coming open! They're all right.
That blast came from the cliff area.
Give me the glasses.
[Tense instrumental music.]
Try and raise Fletcher.
All right, nail down exactly where they are and zero me in.
Will do.
We're opening up on them now.
HANNlBAL: We'll have to run for the mines, Toby, can you get us there? All right.
Face, stick with her.
You got the point? Murdock and l'll give coverage fire.
B.
A.
, l'll bring up the rear.
HANNlBAL: You ready? FACE: Ready.
Murdock, go! They're headed straight for the main shaft of the mine.
SCHECKTER: Pick them up, we'II foIIow them.
Got you.
[Fast-paced instrumental music.]
-What are we going to do now? -The thing is, what are they gonna do? Probably blow the mine.
We end up under a pile of rocks and they go home.
Nice and neat.
HANNlBAL: ls there another exit out of here? TOBY: No.
We sure could use that air shaft you wanted, right now.
Fletcher wouldn't blow this mine.
He wants to work it.
That's why he hired Alan Scheckter to kill my father.
-Yeah, and now us.
-Hannibal, can we go home now? [Tense instrumental music.]
Sorry, Mr.
Fletcher.
Griffin's kid hired some real muscle.
These guys are good.
SCHECKTER: They probably have enough ammo to hold us off all night.
We'll attack them in the morning.
Scheckter, you take Landers and get some tear gas.
We'll stand guard here until you do.
We'll flush them out in the morning.
Where're all the workers that were supposed to be here? This lantern was lit when we ran in here.
Fletcher probably ran them off.
Just like he tried to run off my dad.
-Terrific.
-We better get started.
lf this thing goes by the numbers, those goons will be storming this place at sunrise.
Hannibal, we got a regular hardware store here.
My dad was moving equipment in here for months.
Hey B.
A.
Remember that two-man patrol we did in Cambodia? Yeah.
l think l can rig something up.
lt'll be nice.
HANNlBAL: Face, give us that acetylene torch.
[Adventurous instrumental music.]
-You men in there, can you hear me? -Can't hear a word.
Come on out in one minute or we'll blow the mine.
You're bluffing.
You want this hole in the dirt left open.
-You won't blow it.
Try again.
-You can't stay in there forever.
There's only one way out, and it's target practice for us.
Give it up or you'll starve.
Don't worry about us.
We'll send out to the corner deli.
You guys ready? You bet l am.
l'm gonna pay those guys back for what they did to Bogey.
-The fool's crazy! -Now, Murdock when we drop the hammer, head for the chopper.
l've got a hunch when things get hot, Fletcher's gonna split.
HANNlBAL: You ready, B.
A.
? B.
A.
: Ready.
FACE: Tear gas! [Fast-paced instrumental music.]
Keep that gun on them.
These guys will admit Fletcher hired them.
HANNlBAL: We'll indict him.
-lf he doesn't get away first.
-He won't.
FLETCHER: Help! FLETCHER: Are you crazy? [Upbeat instrumental music.]
lt's the ball game, Coach.
Got the whole team.
How we getting home? Somebody better give me an answer quick, before l get mad.
l told you, that's not my end of the rope.
l run my department, Hannibal runs his.
-Ask him.
-How'd it go? Scheckter and his grizzle are gonna testify that Fletcher hired them.
They'll put him away for a long time.
Maybe now some of the people in this town won't be afraid to work for me.
Hannibal, how are we gonna get home? That's Murdock's end of the operation.
l'm just a single man working against insurmountable odds.
l said, ''How?'' Tell me or l'll break your head! MURDOCK: lt's already broken.
[Laughing.]
Sucker.
Tried to get me.
Excuse us.
HANNlBAL: Murdock, give us a hand.
Thanks.
Really.
You guys might be a little unique but you're great.
Just one more thing.
-What's that? -The diamond.
You don't get your collateral back until we get our 10%% of the mine.
Business is business.
[Theme music.]
These men promptIy escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los AngeIes underground.
Today, stiII wanted by the government, they survive as soIdiers of fortune.
If you have a probIem, if no one eIse can heIp and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.
[Theme music.]
[Slow instrumental music.]
[Suspenseful instrumental music.]
That crazy old buzzard just won't give it up, will he? We've got Griffin, and he's loaded with supplies on his way to the mine.
FLETCHER: ls he alone? SCHECKTER: He sure is, Mr.
FIetcher.
See to it that he doesn't make it.
[Suspenseful instrumental music intensifies.]
[Car brakes screeching.]
[Gun firing.]
Another winner! Good shooting, mister.
Give the little lady anything she likes on the side shelf.
HANNlBAL: There you go, lady.
HANNlBAL: Step right up and test your skill.
Three shots for $1.
Everybody's a winner.
Three ducks, pick anything on the side shelf.
That's it, lady, step right up.
Another winner! Three ducks and take home a teddy for Freddie.
Lovely sweater, my dear.
Shoot a little low and to the left.
[Gun firing.]
l'm on a cold streak, here.
Another winner! Anything you like on the side shelf.
l was told l might find a gentleman here named Louie.
Doesn't sound familiar.
What's his last name? l was supposed to meet him here at 10:00.
HANNlBAL: What's your business? Carnival's a small place.
Maybe l can ask around.
lt's not that sort of business.
Sorry l bothered you.
Just a minute, lady.
Everybody's a winner.
Step right up and test your skill.
Three shots for $1.
l'm not sure l understand this.
[Carnival music playing.]
TOBY: Hello.
HANNlBAL: Come in, my dear.
You're looking for Louie? TOBY: Look, mister, l don't know who you are but for two weeks, l've been waiting in empty warehouses cheap hotels, and taking taxicabs to meet someone in the middle of nowhere.
TOBY: Are we just going to stare at each other? HANNlBAL: lf you're looking for the A-Team, Miss Griffin you've found them.
B.
A Face Amy Murdock.
MURDOCK: Bogey the Bear Show.
[Murdock singing silly song.]
B.
A.
: Get out of there, man.
Now, Miss Griffin, why don't you tell us what this is all about? AMY: Maybe l can help you out.
AMY: You're the daughter of an Australian national.
Your father was a dreamer, with a very colorful past.
He was a lifer with the Bushnell Cavaliers.
AMY: When he retired, he went to South Africa where he spent all of his time prospecting diamond mines.
Everybody thought he was nuts.
Nuts! Now we're cooking! AMY: But you think he found one.
You think he was murdered.
Right after he staked a claim.
How do you know all that? Let's just say if we didn't, you wouldn't have gotten this far.
He had a dream.
All his life, he wanted his own mine.
lt wasn't even the money.
lt was the romance of it.
My father was like a big kid when it came to that place.
Who'd want to kill a big kid? TOBY: Jonathan Fletcher.
He owns a piece of every mine in South Africa.
He wasn't about to let my father have one little mine he could call his own.
Now Fletcher can claim that mine after 30 days, unless l can get it working.
We don't work mines.
l don't see how we can help you.
With transport.
Fletcher controls the only road that leads to my father's mine and l can't get any dynamite in because he won't allow anyone through.
Unless you can help me, l'm gonna lose everything my father worked for.
What do you want with dynamite? Wouldn't that blow the diamonds everywhere? lt's not for the diamonds.
We have other equipment for that.
lt's to blow out an airshaft so we can work the lower levels of the mine.
TOBY: But like l said, l need somebody to get it up that road.
That's what my father was trying to do when Fletcher had him killed.
l couldn't save his life, but l can save his dream.
l need your help.
Give the lady an estimate, Face.
With the cost overrides, perks, per diems, light armaments mileage bonus, $210,000.
You've got to be kidding! South Africa's out of the zone.
We had to add 20%%.
lf you pay peanuts, lady, you wind up hiring monkeys.
TOBY: lt's all l have.
My father sent it to me before he was murdered.
Keep it as collateral, and if you pull this off l'll give you 10%% of the mine's find in the first year.
-What do you say, Face? -Has a center flaw, but it will cut up nicely.
Give it back.
Miss Griffin, you just hired the A-Team.
Pay us when we finish the job.
Meet me at this address the day after tomorrow.
Bulawayo, Zulabwe.
Bulawayo, Zulabwe? Man, l ain't flying there! Of course you're not, B.
A.
[Upbeat instrumental music.]
Nurse, l want BP readings every six minutes.
Continue monitoring adrenalin levels.
Slow down here a minute.
What's going on? HANNlBAL: You must be Mr.
Bellar.
l don't know a Mr.
Bellar.
What are you doing? What's going on? Bellar's supposed to expedite this.
l can't let you board, l'm sorry.
l need to see some kind of paperwork.
HANNlBAL: Paperwork, sir.
Chief Babaracas must be on an operating table in Johannesburg in 1 2 hours or he will die.
-Die? -Yes, and on your airplane.
Sign here.
Sir, in a small way, you have served medical science.
The AMA thanks you, the Chief thanks you, his tribe thanks you.
[Hippo snorting.]
HANNlBAL: Come on, Murdock, you're scaring the animals.
FACE: You're also waking up B.
A.
B.
A.
: l said l wasn't flying to Africa, but l'm here.
l said l wasn't flying to no Borneo, and l was there.
The same with Mexico, Latin America and anywhere else you guys want to hustle me into.
B.
A.
, life's roads have many twists.
l'm getting tired of all these tricks you keep playing on me.
This is the last time! There's the place.
HANNlBAL: B.
A.
You hang around out here.
You see any governmental types, let us know.
Take care of Bogey for me, will you? He ain't old enough to drink yet.
B.
A.
: The man's nuts! Bartender, give us a round of beers.
There's nothing like a clandestine meeting.
We could meet anywhere in Zulabwe and Fletcher would know about it.
TOBY: He owns the whole country.
Anyway, l'm hiring people who can handle themselves, right? But you're not paying us to be stupid.
Now, did you get the truck and supplies? Everything but the dynamite.
The owner of the supply store wouldn't sell it to me.
Really? l'm a little light on wardrobe, but maybe l can work something out.
Shall we see what we can do? -You got it, Face-guy.
-Pleasure.
Mr.
Fletcher, this is Jake down at the Come Lucky.
Old man Griffin's kid is talking some business.
l don't know if this is gonna work.
What country did you say this uniform's from? Sherman Oaks Neighborhood Watch and Parent Patrol.
MURDOCK: What rank? FACE: Chief Crossing Guard.
-Terrific.
-Murdock, it's the singer, not the song.
This'll work.
-You think you can do it? -Surely you must be jesting, old chap.
After l saw Bridge on the River Kwai it took me six months to realise l wasn't Peter O'Toole.
You mean Alec Guinness.
Peter O'Toole wasn't in that picture.
He was, if you saw him through these eyes.
[Moran coughing.]
Good afternoon, gents.
What can l do for you this afternoon? -Morey Moran? -Yes.
Then l can assume that these are your initials on this purchase order.
-M.
M.
? -Yes.
What are you doing? Calling Headquarters to tell them we're questioning the suspect.
Suspect? Wait a minute-- You have already conceded, sir, that your initials are on the document.
Please do not complicate matters by perjuring yourself.
Look, l don't have to stand here and take this from a.
Who are you guys, anyway? That's Colonel Bradley Lexington, Salisbury Explosives and Arms Control.
l'm Edmund Morris, United Nations attaché to Zulabwe.
l ain't done nothing wrong.
Why don't you go put somebody else's knickers in a twist? MURDOCK: We are not amused.
MURDOCK: On 16 December, 1982, this establishment sold to the Parker Construction Company.
Do you concur? So what? l'm a supply store.
But-- To continue, said dynamite was defective and a premature explosion caused the untidy demise of 22 workers employed to renovate the bridge at Breaker Pass.
How do you respond to that? By saying that's bloody impossible 'cause there ain't no bridge over Breaker Pass, that's why.
ldiot! There is no need to brutalize the Queen's English along with your other crimes, which now include impugning a loyal subject of Her Royal Majesty! Come on, you guys must be kidding.
l sell good stuff here, and everyone knows it.
Don't make me laugh.
No kippers, no English herringbone tweeds, no meat pies no Rolls-Royce petrol caps no original pressings of Hey Jude.
You, sir, are a miserable excuse for a shop keep.
And l don't see any state seals or shipping dates on any of these.
Mr.
Moran, you're not buying this on the black market, are you? l bought this stuff all legal, and you can bank that at Barclays.
Then where are the state seals? We're gonna have to confiscate this as contraband.
FACE: Colonel Lexington, could you give me a hand, please? -Delighted.
-No, look.
[Moran stuttering.]
SCHECKTER: Ever see him before? Probably came down from the high country for supplies.
HANNlBAL: Can you show me on the map a way through Solomon's Pass? TOBY: Our route would be through this passage here.
Solomon's Pass.
The roads may be a bit rough, but monsoon season is over so there's not much of a danger of slides.
TOBY: lf we start at first light and we're lucky, we should make it by nightfall.
You're gonna need more than luck, darling.
You've been warned about this, Miss Griffin.
You know this piece of cheese? Take a little healthy advice, mister.
Don't work for that lady.
lt's rough country out there, you might get bitten in the middle of the night.
Great.
Since l gave up golf, my life has been real boring.
TOBY: The mine was my father's, Scheckter.
The claim was properly filed in Salisbury.
And l'm going to work it.
Otherwise, he died for nothing.
You try to work that mine and you might have the same kind of accident that killed him.
They say bad luck runs in families.
HANNlBAL: l've heard it's the same with stupidity.
Or was it ugliness? [Fast-paced instrumental music.]
Thanks, B.
A.
Nice, B.
A.
You're gonna die for this, mister.
Come on, ladies.
Come on, B.
A.
[Sinister instrumental music.]
[Phone ringing.]
Yes.
SCHECKTER: Scheckter.
I'm at the Come Lucky.
Scheckter, yes? SCHECKTER: I'm sorry, Mr.
FIetcher, we messed up.
You're not paid to mess up! You kill them if you have to! No one opens that mine but me! You understand? [Upbeat instrumental music.]
[Murdock yelling.]
l'm warning you, Murdock.
l got enough trouble with these roads without you making all that stupid noise.
Take it easy, B.
A.
How's this thing doing? This thing is running terrible.
Seems like it's come from one of Face's scams.
Let's not get personal when we have company.
-How much further is it? -About 20 miles.
That is if Scheckter and his men don't try to kill us first.
They'll try.
The question is where.
You take Jaspers and Baker over to Solomon's Pass just west of the ravine.
Ambush them.
No problem.
Just like we do with old man Griffin.
SCHECKTER: We'll go back to the mine, clean out the rest of those workers.
We'll see you back at Fletcher's.
Turn them inside out.
Keep driving like that, and you'll get us there in a big ball of fire.
Don't tell me how to drive, man.
ls this what l get for $210,000? Come on, this is the way it's done in all the Tarzan movies! -That's right.
-Sure.
First, the pretty lady hires a safari to help her find the legendary elephant graveyard.
Then one of the jungle party goes mad from drinking swamp water.
Ten days later, they're hopelessly lost! The porters abandon them as they've crossed into the land of bad magic.
Things are bad.
Just as they are about to fall prey to the savage natives-- Some dude in a loincloth and a $40 haircut swings in and saves the day.
[Murdock whoops.]
-How's it going back there, Face? -Not good, Colonel.
Gets real unstable when it's wet, and it's sweating pretty good.
l'm an expert on unstable.
This stuff is not unstable! This stuff won't even go off without a blasting cap.
Fraidy cats-- AMY: Murdock! Brilliant, Murdock.
We give this stuff one more good bounce and Murdock'll be telling his jokes to St.
Peter.
He's already heard them.
[Singing in bad Latin.]
Hang tight, B.
A.
[Fast-paced instrumental music.]
Go back up to the jeep and call Scheckter.
Tell him we've got these guys pinned down.
JASPERS: Right.
VANATTA: Go! HANNlBAL: Face, take the left.
Murdock, you take the right.
Get up the hill and flank them.
We'll keep them busy.
B.
A.
, cover us.
l'll get the women away from the dynamite.
Ready, go! [Fast-paced instrumental music continues.]
B.
A.
: My gun is jammed, Hannibal.
HANNlBAL: Here, take this.
Stand by to heat it up.
l'm going.
Hannibal, where are you going? -The front door.
Where else? -Stupid question.
MURDOCK: lt's Bogey the Bear time.
Freeze it! Bogey the Bear said, ''Freeze it!'' Make a move and l'll turn you into fruit salad.
HANNlBAL: On your feet, pal.
You guys throw a heck of a party.
Looks like l got the door prize.
[Murdock exclaims.]
-You all right, Murdock? -Yes.
l don' t think Bogey is gonna make it, Lieutenant.
FACE: Too bad.
B.
A.
: Hannibal! We lost this wheel and half the axle.
We ain't going nowhere, unless we walk.
-How far is it to the mine, Miss Griffin? -Too far.
[Tense instrumental music.]
HANNlBAL: An abandoned truck? You're putting me on.
FACE: Right up over the ridge.
l almost fell over it while l was chasing those guys.
HANNlBAL: Face, you're turning luck into an art form.
Art form's a bit much.
l prefer to think of it as talent for the remarkable.
This truck, was it an old blue pickup? Yeah.
Rusted-out paint job, some kind of artwork on the door.
FACE: Bird, gargoyle, something like that.
TOBY: A griffin.
He painted that stupid thing on the door by himself.
Thought it protected him.
Man, the parts we need could still be on her daddy's truck.
-l can get them and fix this thing.
-lt's a great idea, B.
A.
Give it a try.
HANNlBAL: Come on, Face.
What are you guys gonna do with us? We thought maybe we'd tie you to a tree and leave you for the lions.
They Iike a IittIe snack at night.
They get the munchies, right after Carson.
Could try the old lndian trick.
-Stake them out over an anthill? -l've always liked it.
l don't know.
l'm not sure how l'd get the ants to go for these two.
lt's easy.
Just stick an ice-cream cone right in their pocket.
You guys are crazy.
He is crazy.
We are just bad-tempered.
Okay, start walking.
VANATTA: What, you're letting us go? HANNlBAL: For now.
-We'll never make it back on foot.
-Try it on your hands and knees.
Move it.
Give Fletcher my regards.
Move it! [Soft sentimental instrumental music.]
The damage is on the top.
We can still get what we need.
He never had a chance, did he? No.
You okay, Toby? You can get the parts.
ls that what you said? You know, once three men beat up my father.
They hurt him real bad.
He almost died.
It ain't the same, I reaIise that.
I know you're so mad you want to bust.
But don't worry.
Them guys that got your father, they're gonna pay.
You got my word on that.
[Rhythmic instrumental music.]
Hurry up, you fool! You ready, B.
A.
? lt won't win no lndy 500, but it'll get us there.
HANNlBAL: Let's go, Miss Griffin.
You know, B.
A.
, with a pair of pliers and a little time you could fix anything but dinner.
[Rhythmic instrumental music resumes.]
You know, Toby we don't have to maintain this client-employee relationship forever.
l mean, after you work the mine for a couple of months, get it going good, we could meet in Hawaii.
l have access to a real nice condo on the Big lsland.
We could study volcanic eruptions together.
On the other hand, we could just have a quick drink in Johannesburg.
[Elephants trumpeting.]
Guys, without the risk of sounding melodramatic, goodbye forever! Pull up here.
The air's beginning to feel a little richer.
Like those diamonds know we're coming.
They're very intelligent, you know.
They have many facets.
When you get to know them, most of them are absolute gems.
Why do you want to stop here? lt's only another few minutes.
That stretch of road up there.
Now, that isn't where l'd like to see the A-Team memorial plaque erected.
That's Solomon's Pass.
My father's mine's not far beyond.
The road winds through the pass and ends up there, at the top of the cliff.
We have to go all the way there in order to get back up here? lt's the only way.
Didn't anybody consider putting in an escalator? Come on.
-Do l have to think of everything? -Believe me, it's the only way.
l've been here hundreds of times with my father.
l'm sure you have.
When l jump into that sleazy Fletcher's mind l'd find the first place l'd put an ambush is in Solomon's Pass.
Wait.
We're talking about vertical here, Hannibal.
Very.
Sergeant how do you feel about a little mountain climbing? Ain't no big thing.
All it is, is a whole lot of chin-ups.
-Just don't put me in no flying machine.
-Wouldn't think of it.
l want you to get up there as soon as you can and drop me a rope.
l want to pack that dynamite up the cliff.
That's suicide.
This stuff's sweating like it's got a fever.
lf we don't get the dynamite to the mine, there's no sense going.
HANNlBAL: Face, give B.
A.
that rope.
FACE: Right.
You're crazier than Murdock.
l'd pull it up with a block and tackle, but we can't.
One bad bounce and the lights go out.
lt's going up on my back.
B.
A.
: Don't touch that.
You get on the jazz with a pack of dynamite on your back it'll blow a hole big enough to bury an elephant.
l'll get the dynamite.
You stay away from it.
Now somebody got to help me with this.
l can't do it by myself.
All right, l'll take the rope up.
HANNlBAL: And you need a volunteer, right? B.
A.
: Right.
Right.
Don't you smile at me like that.
That's not even a real smile.
Just a bunch of teeth playing with my mind! VANATTA: Why didn't you come back for us? We could have died! Enough! Where are they now? JASPER: They fixed the truck.
Passed us when we were walking back.
They are going northeast.
Probably heading for the mine.
Before they get there, we'll stop them in the pass.
They've had a very long drive in a jerry-rigged truck and we have the helicopter.
Care to make any wagers? lt may not be that easy.
They get through that pass they can pick up reinforcements at the mine.
We'll fly there first, and scatter those workers for good.
Tell Scheckter we'll back them up at the mine.
HANNlBAL: You two all right? AMY: Yeah.
AMY: Murdock, are you okay? l thought l heard some buzzing.
What else do you expect from the human fly? The climber of walls, source of annoyance ruiner of picnics, sticky of foot! HANNlBAL: B.
A.
, Face, okay.
[Suspenseful instrumental music.]
l hope the packs hold.
-What if-- -lf they don't hold that's about it.
Just about where we're at.
Look out, Face! FACE: B.
A.
, your pack's coming open! They're all right.
That blast came from the cliff area.
Give me the glasses.
[Tense instrumental music.]
Try and raise Fletcher.
All right, nail down exactly where they are and zero me in.
Will do.
We're opening up on them now.
HANNlBAL: We'll have to run for the mines, Toby, can you get us there? All right.
Face, stick with her.
You got the point? Murdock and l'll give coverage fire.
B.
A.
, l'll bring up the rear.
HANNlBAL: You ready? FACE: Ready.
Murdock, go! They're headed straight for the main shaft of the mine.
SCHECKTER: Pick them up, we'II foIIow them.
Got you.
[Fast-paced instrumental music.]
-What are we going to do now? -The thing is, what are they gonna do? Probably blow the mine.
We end up under a pile of rocks and they go home.
Nice and neat.
HANNlBAL: ls there another exit out of here? TOBY: No.
We sure could use that air shaft you wanted, right now.
Fletcher wouldn't blow this mine.
He wants to work it.
That's why he hired Alan Scheckter to kill my father.
-Yeah, and now us.
-Hannibal, can we go home now? [Tense instrumental music.]
Sorry, Mr.
Fletcher.
Griffin's kid hired some real muscle.
These guys are good.
SCHECKTER: They probably have enough ammo to hold us off all night.
We'll attack them in the morning.
Scheckter, you take Landers and get some tear gas.
We'll stand guard here until you do.
We'll flush them out in the morning.
Where're all the workers that were supposed to be here? This lantern was lit when we ran in here.
Fletcher probably ran them off.
Just like he tried to run off my dad.
-Terrific.
-We better get started.
lf this thing goes by the numbers, those goons will be storming this place at sunrise.
Hannibal, we got a regular hardware store here.
My dad was moving equipment in here for months.
Hey B.
A.
Remember that two-man patrol we did in Cambodia? Yeah.
l think l can rig something up.
lt'll be nice.
HANNlBAL: Face, give us that acetylene torch.
[Adventurous instrumental music.]
-You men in there, can you hear me? -Can't hear a word.
Come on out in one minute or we'll blow the mine.
You're bluffing.
You want this hole in the dirt left open.
-You won't blow it.
Try again.
-You can't stay in there forever.
There's only one way out, and it's target practice for us.
Give it up or you'll starve.
Don't worry about us.
We'll send out to the corner deli.
You guys ready? You bet l am.
l'm gonna pay those guys back for what they did to Bogey.
-The fool's crazy! -Now, Murdock when we drop the hammer, head for the chopper.
l've got a hunch when things get hot, Fletcher's gonna split.
HANNlBAL: You ready, B.
A.
? B.
A.
: Ready.
FACE: Tear gas! [Fast-paced instrumental music.]
Keep that gun on them.
These guys will admit Fletcher hired them.
HANNlBAL: We'll indict him.
-lf he doesn't get away first.
-He won't.
FLETCHER: Help! FLETCHER: Are you crazy? [Upbeat instrumental music.]
lt's the ball game, Coach.
Got the whole team.
How we getting home? Somebody better give me an answer quick, before l get mad.
l told you, that's not my end of the rope.
l run my department, Hannibal runs his.
-Ask him.
-How'd it go? Scheckter and his grizzle are gonna testify that Fletcher hired them.
They'll put him away for a long time.
Maybe now some of the people in this town won't be afraid to work for me.
Hannibal, how are we gonna get home? That's Murdock's end of the operation.
l'm just a single man working against insurmountable odds.
l said, ''How?'' Tell me or l'll break your head! MURDOCK: lt's already broken.
[Laughing.]
Sucker.
Tried to get me.
Excuse us.
HANNlBAL: Murdock, give us a hand.
Thanks.
Really.
You guys might be a little unique but you're great.
Just one more thing.
-What's that? -The diamond.
You don't get your collateral back until we get our 10%% of the mine.
Business is business.
[Theme music.]