The Avengers (1961) s04e18 Episode Script

( music ) ( theme music ) Two.
Four.
( door closes ) Steed? Steed? Nice of you to hurry over, Mrs.
Peel.
I asked you to help me search, but this? Well, somebody beat us to it, and you just missed him.
Must have taken the service stairs.
Oh, well.
Ted Murphy.
Found dead in an alleyway last night.
What was he working on? That's the odd thing.
Just routine security.
He was keeping tabs on some scientific types.
Obviously, he found something that wasn't routine.
( sighs ) I had hoped we might find a lead here.
Somebody else had the same idea.
- That's strange.
- What's that? These golf cards.
Highly suspicious.
I was just wondering why he never seems to have played beyond the 12th hole, you see? They're all marked up to the 12th, and then-- Smartly onto the 19th.
And another thing, this receipt.
All this equipment was bought only a few days ago.
Poor Ted.
Never had a chance to swing his steel-shafted handle-to-head-balanced niblick.
He was shot with a rifle at long range.
Right down the fairway? Golf.
Something to do with golf, you suppose? Perhaps this will help.
It's custom-made.
I don't know about the tall one.
But the stocky one is Adams, Dr.
Peter Adams, scientist, one of those Murphy was keeping an eye on.
Come on, hurry up.
We'll catch him.
Members only this weekend.
- There's a tournament.
Members only.
- Oh, that's marvelous.
I hate playing on a crowded course, don't you, Mrs.
Peel? - You're a member? - Fully paid up as of yesterday.
You're a secretary? Acting, unpaid.
The secretary's away.
I'm Collins, the club professional.
Extraordinarily nice of you to come out and welcome us.
After you, Mrs.
Peel.
- Any sign of Dr.
Adams? - No.
Good.
Beat him to it, then.
Come along, tee off.
Nice innocent way of striking up an acquaintanceship with Adams.
He'll be along in a moment.
We'll ask to make up a four.
Get off on the right foot.
On a nice friendly We're due off at 3:00, which is now.
Well, we'll just drive off, then.
3:00.
That's when we're supposed to leave.
If you'll kindly step aside.
Well, you got off on the right foot.
That was a really friendly basis.
They seem to be in a bit of a hurry.
Be a good idea if you inspected the course.
Played a hole or two.
- Solo? Much less conspicuous.
Don't lose them.
I'm going to snoop around the club.
It's quite simple.
Why not alter the playing schedule? Well, it's not just a question of all the work involved altering the playing schedules, Colonel.
I mean, it's also a matter of Mr.
Steed.
Oh, hello, I was just limbering up.
Well, Collins? Yes.
Mr.
Steed, Colonel Watson.
- How do you do? - How do you do? - New member? - Yes.
Yes, I thought so, thought so.
Quick to spot an unfamiliar face, hey, Collins? - Oh, you know all your members? - Just about, yes.
Then you must know a friend of mine, Ted Murphy.
Shall we get on with your lesson, Colonel? Hm.
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Right away.
No, no, no, let's get the grip right first.
Turn your left hand further round.
That's better.
I hope you like the club, Mr.
Steed.
- Collins: Colonel.
- Oh, yes, sorry.
Very much.
You're demons for punctuality here, aren't you? I tried to tee off a while back, a couple of chaps insisted they had it booked for 3:00.
Collins: Ah, not bad.
You're still not pivoting enough on that backswing.
Pivot your shoulders and keep your head still.
Let's try again.
Quite a tricky course.
Tricky, old chap? Eighth hole is an absolute bounder, isn't that right, Collins? An absolute bounder.
How about the 13th? Why the 13th? Watson: Superstitious, old chap? They say it's a hard one to finish.
How long were they out of sight? Oh, about half a minute, no more.
You moved that one.
You heard nothing? I was the tiniest bit preoccupied.
Dodging driverless caddy cars.
That was very good.
Losing Adams worries me most.
Well, how important was he, anyway? Dr.
Peter Adams, number one at Catha-- Cathaby Hall.
That doesn't count.
Catherby Hall.
Oh, that's the research center for the missile guidance system.
I must be very valuable.
I'm doing rather well.
Yes, worth a caddy car or two.
All right, you stay here.
Keep a steady hand.
I'll have another look around the staff room.
Alone at last, got you in me power.
Waversham, Berty Waversham, club captain.
- How do you do? - How do you do? I've been waiting for the opportunity to welcome you to the club.
Well, I'd never press you to another drink if I knew you were playing.
I never ask anyone to drink while driving.
You get it? While driving? Mm-hmm.
It'd be nice if we were paired against each other in the tournament, wouldn't it? Wouldn't mind giving you a stroke or two.
On or off the course.
- Jackson: How did it go? - Satisfactory, Jackson.
Most satisfactory.
You had a good round, did you? Mm-hmm.
Jackson: I'll take these for you.
Ah, treat them gently.
( door closes ) Then there's a nasty dog-- Then there's a nasty dogleg at the fourth.
But you can I say, dear lady, I'm not boring you, am I? - Hmm? - I say, I'm not boring you, am I? - Who is that man? - Frank Reed.
- As I was saying-- - What does he do? Some sort of technician, I think.
Radio or something.
Queer sort of cove.
Keeps very much to himself.
( glass breaking ) Lost your ball, Mr.
Steed? On the contrary.
Found it with a vengeance.
Someone forgot to shout "fore.
" You seem to spend a great deal of time in here.
Looking for my clubs.
Those? Oh, thank you.
- You should have asked the caddy master.
He'd have brought them to you.
- Didn't want to bother him.
- That's what he's here for.
Return this to its owner, please? Shouldn't be hard to find.
A drive that could do this should be someone with a strong arm.
Someone with a professional touch.
Steed? Yes, I've seen him.
Also I had a chance of studying his golf equipment.
Fascinating.
Guaranteed to put a hole in one every time.
Do you think Adams is dead? Adams is far too valuable alive.
Could they be holding him somewhere? Very likely.
But he's bound to be missed.
Well, they can't expect a cover-up indefinitely, could they? Well, let's ask Mr.
Reed.
- Oh, Mr.
Reed? - Hmm? - It's about Dr.
Adams.
- Adams? - Your golfing partner.
- Why? Well, the most extraordinary thing has happened.
He seems to have disappeared.
Into thin air.
Disappeared? I left him just a few moments ago.
A few moments ago, you were in the bar.
He wasn't with you.
Someone looking for me? Ah, there you are, Frank.
Care to put in a spot of practice before dinner? ( no audible dialogue ) Well, one thing's certain.
Whatever's going on, Adams is obviously a willing party to it.
Mustn't let him out of our sight for a moment.
- What is it? - Damson, Bell, Damson.
Ah, Collins.
Just taking a peep at the playing order tomorrow.
I see you haven't paired me off yet.
That's right.
Haven't found a partner for Dr.
Adams yet either.
- No.
- It'd be very convenient if I was playing Adams.
Teeing off at 11:00.
I'm afraid you'll have to take the luck of the draw.
It would be very convenient, Collins.
Did you manage to-- Yes, I think so.
Well, Adams, old boy.
What's it to be, then, huh? - Are you sure we have time? - Of course there's time.
Relax.
And for goodness' sake, stop looking at your watch.
Yes, I thought that birdie on the 10th today was quite a feat.
Don't you agree, old boy? What was the outcome of your pick-a-stick? Oh, very boring.
I beat myself.
Adams is twitching like a rabbit.
- Rabbits, dear lady? - Not a chance.
Greenskeeper's too alert.
Forages them out before they can start their little family habits.
Oh, no, no.
No rabbits on this course.
- Do you mind if I join you? - Not at all.
It's a privilege, you know? Once I sit down, this becomes the captain's table.
- Oh, the darn thing's happening again.
- Again? Same thing happened last night.
About the same time, too.
First the darn things dimmed and flickered.
And then they went out.
Only for a few moments, mind.
There.
Must be something on the blink at the local power station, I think.
Excuse us, Captain.
( caddy car starts, drives off ) Man: Jackson.
Over here.
Get a move on.
We've got to hurry.
All right, Mr.
Collins.
What's going on? What are you doing out here? And who else is out here with you? Well, that's what I'd like to know.
- What brought you out here? - I heard a sound and came to investigate.
It's a caddy car.
There's one of them missing.
- There must be a reason.
- Involving Reed and Adams? Wouldn't it be better if we pooled our resources? Yes, all right, all right.
It is Reed.
He keeps insisting that he be paired off with Dr.
Adams.
And always at the same time.
Must tee off at 11:00 in the morning.
Must tee off at 3:00 in the afternoon.
He even tried to bribe me.
- So that he'd play Dr.
Adams tomorrow? - And will he? Only if he beats his opponent.
The luck of the draw.
The winner plays Dr.
Adams at 3:00 tomorrow afternoon.
- And what about-- - Shh! ( caddy car driving ) Stay here.
( thwack ) ( caddy car driving ) Mrs.
Peel: Steed! Over here, Mrs.
Peel.
Very interesting.
There's been some sort of struggle.
Hmm.
- A fight.
- Mm-hmm.
And these footprints.
Are mine.
Where have you been? I've been halfway over the golf course.
Chasing invisible men.
What about this fight of yours? Was with Collins.
He's over there on the green.
Well, he was here.
Right here.
Shot with a golf ball.
- What? - With a badge on it.
And then I heard a sound.
And I saw a sort of one-man tank with a huge gun mounted on it.
- Shot with a golf ball.
- Mm-hmm.
- One-man tank? - Mrs.
Peel, are you sure that you-- Positive.
Collins was here.
Perhaps he isn't dead.
Perhaps he's recovered and returned to the office.
Perhaps I'd better go and see.
I'll check the clubhouse.
Oh, we'll take up the matter of that one-man tank later.
Ah, Steed, old chap, wondered where you'd got to.
Taking a quiet stroll around the course.
Around the course? Club rules, old chap.
No night strolls.
Danger of damaging the greens.
Most irregular.
I don't suppose you'll do it again now that you know.
I've got the playing order for the tournament here.
Just going to put it up.
I'm set against Waversham here.
Hard luck, old chap.
And you're up against Reed.
We tee off at 11:00.
Make quite a change for you, playing someone other than Dr.
Adams.
We're paired together.
How's your game? Good at Gleneagles.
Fair to middling at Pebble Beach.
So we meet tomorrow.
- Jackson: Good evening, sir.
- Reed: Good evening.
Jackson: Would you care to step inside? You can tell the boss that Dr.
Adams is safely back.
Reed: No slipups.
Only Collins.
What? Snooping about on the green.
A bit too close for comfort.
But you needn't worry.
He won't be bothering us again.
You used that thing on him? Much quieter, much more effective.
But you killed him.
The boss won't like that.
- No alternative.
- No, I suppose not.
Anyway, by tomorrow afternoon, it will all be over, thank goodness.
- There's something I wanted to ask you.
- Have you seen the playing order, sir? Yes, I'm playing Steed at 11:00 and the winner plays Dr.
Adams at 3:00.
- I hope you win, sir.
- Reed: I'll win.
Jackson: We don't yet know how good a player Steed is.
Reed: I don't care how good he is, I'll win.
You mean you'll win by hook or by crook.
Yes, if I have to.
Depend on it.
I'll knock Steed out of the tournament.
What the devil is that doing here? I told you to keep it out of sight.
- Jackson: It was out of sight.
I told him not to put those things up there.
What's the matter with us? Jittery, on edge.
Never mind.
Tomorrow it'll be plain sailing.
Yes.
Oh, one more thing.
Should something go wrong tomorrow and this fellow Steed should win Then he'll sign his own death warrant.
If he wins you'll have to kill him.
- Ah, good morning.
- Morning.
Well, very nice day for it.
- Shall we begin? - Right away.
Right, gentlemen, you know the rules.
Mr.
Steed? Heads.
Heads it is.
Good start.
Would you care to Magnanimous.
Steed: Low cunning.
I like to assess the opposition as soon as possible.
Good shot.
Nor' nor'-west, by north.
I shall be playing a number three ball.
- Equally good shot.
- Equally? A shade better, don't you think? Of course, not me at my best.
I have to loosen up a bit.
Bad luck, old chap.
Hit a soft spot.
Bit tricky playing that as it lies.
Well, you must be in the rough anyway.
Don't think so.
Lucky again.
Think it's over there.
Do play through, old chap.
Fear not, for ere this day is done, you shall have a hole in one.
I am your fairy godmother.
- You? Me.
I want you to win this game.
Why? Have you got money on me? I overheard Mr.
Reed.
He has to play Dr.
Adams at 3:00 this afternoon.
In order to do that, he's got to beat you.
Well, the way things are going, that doesn't look too likely.
Ah, this is mine.
Now, you must have overshot.
Probably into the bunker on the other side.
Do you mind, old boy? - Down in four, old boy.
- But I never saw you.
Fair's fair.
I didn't see you come out of that bunker.
That was an auspicious victory.
Reed thought it was suspicious.
It was a good idea of mine, don't you think? Knock Reed out of the tournament, throw him off balance, and see what he does next.
I wonder what he will do next.
Further bulletins will be issued in due course.
In the meanwhile, no callers.
Ooh, and no sudden movements.
It was a near thing.
If it hadn't been for my trusty hat Really, the height of pessimism to have a hat lined with chain mail.
Well, we solved the problem of what Mr.
Reed would do next.
Ah! Any further amusing speculations? Yeah, one.
This.
I found it in the staff office along with a very large telescope.
Look, here's Orion.
Here's Leo.
And here is a star that doesn't exist.
It's not marked on any of the charts.
- New star? - Possibly.
I put through a call to Greenwich Observatory.
They should know.
Watson: How are you, old chap? I heard about that nasty little accident of yours.
Still haven't discovered the darn fool who drove off without shouting "fore.
" Don't worry about me, Colonel.
I'm on the mend.
Well, just the same, bad luck.
You're due to play Adams this afternoon, aren't you? - Yes.
- Darn bad luck.
Why? Well, you're scratched from the contest, of course.
I mean, we can't expect you to give it your best when-- I'm not scratching.
I'm itching to play.
Oh, we can't allow that, old chap.
I mean, after a nasty crack on the head like that-- I'm perfectly fit.
I'll play.
I'll just rest here, conserve my strength for the tee-up.
Ahh.
As you say, old man.
That's darn courageous of you.
Have it your own way.
My game against Adams seems to concern quite a lot of people.
2:55.
He's going to be late.
Relax.
If he is, he forfeits the game.
Suppose the game drags.
Suppose we don't reach the 13th until after 4:00? You'll be there.
Just play your usual game.
You'll be there dead on 4:00.
And Steed? When you get to the 12th hole, make sure he putts down first.
Hmm.
Then he won't bother you again.
This is for you, Mrs.
Peel, from Greenwich Observatory.
Professor Minley? Mrs.
Peel, I got the answer to your question.
That star you pointed out, quite right.
It isn't on any of the official charts.
Neither is it a new star.
- Actually, it's Vostok 2.
- Vostok 2? Yes.
The latest satellite in orbit.
Of course, the Americans are much more advanced in this field.
Vostok 2 can only handle one channel.
Channel? What sort of channel? Why, television, of course.
It's a communications satellite.
Don't forget what I told you.
The 12th hole.
Dr.
Adams, we get to play at last.
At last? Well, you are rather an elusive fellow, you know.
Tails.
Would you like to go first? Yes.
Got you worried, eh? The game ahead.
Of course, it appeared on that chart because at the moment, it is in orbit over this country.
It has been for the past month.
Today's the last day, though.
I'm in Surrey at the moment.
What time will the satellite be over today? It passed over Surrey at 12:00.
And it's due next at 4:00 this afternoon.
And that's its final orbit.
They start play at 3:00 to be in position by 4:00.
Sorry.
What was that? Professor, if I wanted to use this satellite, what would I need? Well, television transmission equipment and full cooperation from the Vostok technicians.
Thank you, Professor.
( muffled cries ) That puts you one up.
Still, things may change around about the 13th.
Wait.
Had to bring her along, sir.
She was going to spoil everything.
Well, well.
Welcome, Mrs.
Peel.
Do sit down.
No, I'm afraid that seat's already occupied.
Poor Mr.
Collins, you know.
I haven't been able to dispose of him yet.
How's Jackson doing, sir? Up periscope.
Oh, yes.
An admirable job.
Let's pull your chair a little closer, Mrs.
Peel, so that you can see.
Just over there on the 12th green.
Well, what do you see? - Mrs.
Peel: Jackson.
- Watson: And what is he doing? Mrs.
Peel: He's putting something into the cup.
Yes.
Indeed he is.
Indeed he is.
Cheerful little device.
Land mine.
Very sensitive.
The weight of an ordinary golf ball will set it off.
And coming towards the 12th is Adams will see to it that Steed putts down first, of course.
And then I'm afraid it'll damage the greens considerably.
Admirable shot.
It won't be long now.
Well, Mrs.
Peel how do you like our little setup? Am I supposed to like it? ( chuckles ) Admire, then.
Perfect, hmm? Not only can Dr.
Adams tell his secrets, he'll actually show how to apply them in the minutest detail.
Beamed across the world by Vostok 2.
Like standing side by side in the same laboratory, hmm? - Ah, good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.
- Is Dr.
Adams ready? - There'll be a delay.
Delay? You know the satellite moves out of orbit within an hour.
This is our last chance to communicate direct.
Don't worry.
It'll only be a slight delay.
Goodbye, Mr.
Steed.
Right.
Down periscope.
Dr.
Adams will be here in a few moments.
That was a close one wasn't it? We are very anxious to see Dr.
Adams again.
Our engineers need some clarification of the diagrams he gave us last time.
Reed: Here's Dr.
Adams now, sir.
Come in, Doctor.
We're waiting for you.
Look out! Behind you! Fore! Wrong stick.
Steed: I'm on your side.
( growls ) How about finishing the game? What's your handicap? I thought you said it could be done in one.
It can.
Give me a chance.
- I got to get it to line up.
- Well, you've had plenty of practice.
That's a very tricky procedure.
( cork popping ) A question of the wrist action.
- Lovely.
- That's the secret.
( theme music )