The End Of The F***ing World (2017) s01e06 Episode Script
Episode 6
1 After the murder, other crimes seem pretty easy by comparison.
How do you know how to do that? Practice.
I know how to do a lot of things.
Like what? Build a den.
Taxidermy.
Make yoghurt.
ENGINE REVS My dad's going to love you.
# I made you blue # There will never be another Boy for me like you.
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS The radio in the car was broken.
There was one CD, and only one track that didn't skip.
# Keep on running # Keep on hiding # One fine day I'm going to be the one to make you understand Oh, yeah I'm going to be your man.
At first, it was OK.
It was a good song.
SONG CONTINUES But its appeal eventually balled.
Do you feel bad about what we did? About the man? I was pleased Alyssa had started to use "we" in relation to the incident.
He was attacking you.
Yeah.
And those girls in the photos.
Yeah.
We did the world a favour.
If I was the police, I'd give us fucking medals or something.
They probably will.
They didn't.
As the hours passed, I realised that I felt different.
Sort of new.
She'd come back for me.
We were really doing something, going somewhere, and it felt good.
Oh, shit.
Alyssa? Wake up.
Have a nice day.
DOOR CHIMES Did he buy a key ring? No.
Did you encourage him to buy a key ring? Yes.
Don't lie.
No.
Well You get cancer, you'll only have yourself to blame, won't you? OK.
I'll keep the engine running, you get out, fill up, just a little bit.
Well, enough to get to your dad's, and then we drive off before anyone notices.
OK? You've really come out your shell, you know? Huh? It's hot.
Oh Eight o'clock in the morning.
Shit.
All right.
Morning! Hiya.
Need a hand? No, you're all right, thanks.
You can't fill up with the car running, can you? What? Oh, yeah.
Can you turn the engine off, please? Let me help you, he's about to have a mental, that one.
No, it's fine, thanks.
Full tank? No, we only want a bit.
Better to be on the safe side, isn't it? OK, sure, fill 'er up.
Police Let's go in and pay, shall we? After you.
If this is what gets us caught, I'm going to kill myself.
From shame.
Shit, shit, shit.
This young lady would like to pay for pump number seven.
Frodo.
Cash or card? Would you like to buy a key ring? It's for cancer.
Not now.
What? Cash or card? Have you got a toilet? No.
Isn't that illegal? We don't have one.
Yeah, we do.
Shut up! Do you want me to wet myself? Do you want me to call the police? They might like to know where you got your car from.
I need the toilet.
Ow! Get off me! Ow! Frodo, call the police! I take it you recognise that? Yeah, I gave it him for his birthday.
Which birthday was this? His 13th.
I'm sorry, why on earth would you give a 13-year-old boy a hunting knife? Well, he asked for it.
Actually, no, he asked for a machete but I said that was a bit full-on.
This knife has been confirmed as a murder weapon.
What?! Look, it James, he's weird, OK? But he's-he's He's not dangerous.
You let her go or I'll blow your fucking head off! He's really not.
Did you hear me? That's just your hand, isn't it? No.
Well, what kind of gun is it, then? I'm interested.
My husband owns a couple! You've got a husband?! Ow! What kind? It's a Glock 17MB ambidextrous magazine catch, recoil-operated, 19 rounds.
Yes, James.
Frodo, call the police.
Ow! Ow! Frodo! Call the police, you fucking moron! I told you we had a toilet.
BANGING Let me out! Let me out now! Frodo! I don't like my life.
So do something.
Frodo! BANGING BANGING Frodo! What was that? Nice one, Frodo.
BANGING BANGING I'm just saying it's a bit of a jump, that's all.
What is? Well, it's weird.
It is.
They steal a car, and he has a knife, sure, but why would they kill someone? Well, he's had the knife since he was 13 years old.
I had an air rifle when I was ten.
Nearly blinded my sister.
That's interesting.
What? Things had started to get slightly out of hand.
I'm going to get you arrested! And then I'm going to sue you! All of you! Shut up! We needed to get out of there.
Look, F-Frodo? Yeah? Is that your actual name? Like, your birth name? Yeah.
Listen, Frodo, we've got to get back on the road.
OK, yeah, cool.
Where are we going? What? I'm coming with you.
What do we need? Juice, snacks? Frodo? For energy.
Frodo! Do you guys smoke? No.
Not really.
I do, from now.
Oh, come on, Frodo! I'm just going to start the car.
He's just hot-wiring.
Takes a while.
Oh, OK, cool.
Do you want some alcohol? Uh, yeah, sure.
Can you grab us a couple of bottles of that whiskey on top? What, this one? Yeah, the Glenn thingy one.
It's really expensive.
Don't you dare! His trust in us is kind of heartbreaking But what are you going to do? MUSIC: KMAG YOYO by Hayes Carll Hey! Drive, drive.
Fucking drive! Wait! # Here I am standin' in the desert with a gun Thought of going AWOL but I'm too afraid to run Woohoo-hoo-hoo! Woohoo-hoo! We're proper bandits, James! # Threw me on a lily pad Sent me home to NORAD I knew I'd be in trouble but I didn't think it be this bad We're sorry to have to do this, but we just need to ask some more questions.
Going back a few years, there was talk among some old colleagues about a couple of accusations made against Clive by some students.
Can you tell us anything about those? Yes.
I can tell you it was a long time ago, and that both accusations were trumped.
We know that And, I can tell you .
.
that some young women, rather than admit their grades are dropping because they're lazy or on drugs half the time, would rather accuse an innocent man of sexual assault.
No-one would have any reason to cause him harm? I would like it if you would get on with your job, and find whoever murdered my son.
Rather than trying to blame him for his own death.
I'll show you out.
Please.
We'll see ourselves out.
He was your only one? It's better to be in charge of the truth, you know? In case it ever comes out.
It tends to, in situations like this, it's It's just my experience.
It's better to be, you know .
.
in control.
Get out.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
DOOR OPENS DOOR CLOSES 'I think I'm starting to feel a bitmore like myself.
'Sometimes I think I feel more like myself with James 'than I do on my own.
' Hey, can you stop? 'Everything feels really simple.
' 'Hello?' Hi, mum.
'Oh, my God, Alyssa, where the hell are you?' We've had the police around here 'Just shut up and listen to me.
' 'Alyssa!' Mum.
'Are you Are you OK?' You're never going to see me again.
Ever.
I'm not coming home.
'What's happened, Alyssa, where are you? 'Are you with your dad?' No.
'Come home, Alyssa.
' Tell Tony I said, "Fuck off.
" Let's go.
Who was on the phone? My mum.
MUSIC: Sweet Thang by Shuggie Otis # Oooh, baby # Sweet thang # Oooh, baby # Sweet thang Sweet thang.
Has Teri left? Eunice.
'Hi, this is Teri, leave a message.
' Oh! Cheers.
GLASSES CLINK Cheers.
It's really nice to meet you.
Hiya.
Eunice, what are you? You've got to come back to work.
I'm sorry, can you You have to see this.
Excuse me, who are you? PC Noon.
You have to see this.
Are you in the police? Is this a date? Seriously, Eunice, can you just How old are you? For fuck's sake You have to see this.
No! You have to, it's important.
Not now.
Yes, now.
I'm really sorry.
CAMERA BEEPS ON WOMAN SCREAMING 'Hey! I said, stay still!' Fucking hell.
SEAGULLS CRY Right, let's do this.
Are you OK? Of course I am.
James, we killed a rapist, turned our backs on the law, and I'm finally going to meet my dad again, it's mega.
Come on.
Yeah? Hi, is Leslie in? Leslie doesn't live here any more.
No.
What? Who are you? Do you know where he is now? Just leave it, James.
Yeah.
They still killed him.
Whatever he might have done, they cut his throat and they've done a runner.
Yeah, but if it was self-defence Then they'll get manslaughter.
So, how did you meet her? What? Oh.
OK, I'm going home.
OVER RADIO: 'DC Noon, come in, DC Noon.
' Yeah, go ahead.
'We found the kids' most recent location.
' Where? 'They robbed a petrol station 100 miles south-east of here 'this morning.
'Held it up at gunpoint, locked the manager in the toilet, 'got the CCTV.
' Coming in now.
How do we know this is the right way? Well, she said left and then left again, so .
.
I think it's this way.
'Sometimes you realise you've had a thing keeping you going 'that might be a lie.
'When you actually really understand that, 'that the whole thing might have been a lie the whole time, 'it's like you swallowed a stone.
'But, not recently.
'You swallowed it years ago.
' What if he's a shit.
Why didn't he tell me that he moved? Maybe it's really recent.
Come on.
'I'm really scared.
' I'm really scared.
Hi, Dad.
How do you know how to do that? Practice.
I know how to do a lot of things.
Like what? Build a den.
Taxidermy.
Make yoghurt.
ENGINE REVS My dad's going to love you.
# I made you blue # There will never be another Boy for me like you.
ROCK MUSIC PLAYS The radio in the car was broken.
There was one CD, and only one track that didn't skip.
# Keep on running # Keep on hiding # One fine day I'm going to be the one to make you understand Oh, yeah I'm going to be your man.
At first, it was OK.
It was a good song.
SONG CONTINUES But its appeal eventually balled.
Do you feel bad about what we did? About the man? I was pleased Alyssa had started to use "we" in relation to the incident.
He was attacking you.
Yeah.
And those girls in the photos.
Yeah.
We did the world a favour.
If I was the police, I'd give us fucking medals or something.
They probably will.
They didn't.
As the hours passed, I realised that I felt different.
Sort of new.
She'd come back for me.
We were really doing something, going somewhere, and it felt good.
Oh, shit.
Alyssa? Wake up.
Have a nice day.
DOOR CHIMES Did he buy a key ring? No.
Did you encourage him to buy a key ring? Yes.
Don't lie.
No.
Well You get cancer, you'll only have yourself to blame, won't you? OK.
I'll keep the engine running, you get out, fill up, just a little bit.
Well, enough to get to your dad's, and then we drive off before anyone notices.
OK? You've really come out your shell, you know? Huh? It's hot.
Oh Eight o'clock in the morning.
Shit.
All right.
Morning! Hiya.
Need a hand? No, you're all right, thanks.
You can't fill up with the car running, can you? What? Oh, yeah.
Can you turn the engine off, please? Let me help you, he's about to have a mental, that one.
No, it's fine, thanks.
Full tank? No, we only want a bit.
Better to be on the safe side, isn't it? OK, sure, fill 'er up.
Police Let's go in and pay, shall we? After you.
If this is what gets us caught, I'm going to kill myself.
From shame.
Shit, shit, shit.
This young lady would like to pay for pump number seven.
Frodo.
Cash or card? Would you like to buy a key ring? It's for cancer.
Not now.
What? Cash or card? Have you got a toilet? No.
Isn't that illegal? We don't have one.
Yeah, we do.
Shut up! Do you want me to wet myself? Do you want me to call the police? They might like to know where you got your car from.
I need the toilet.
Ow! Get off me! Ow! Frodo, call the police! I take it you recognise that? Yeah, I gave it him for his birthday.
Which birthday was this? His 13th.
I'm sorry, why on earth would you give a 13-year-old boy a hunting knife? Well, he asked for it.
Actually, no, he asked for a machete but I said that was a bit full-on.
This knife has been confirmed as a murder weapon.
What?! Look, it James, he's weird, OK? But he's-he's He's not dangerous.
You let her go or I'll blow your fucking head off! He's really not.
Did you hear me? That's just your hand, isn't it? No.
Well, what kind of gun is it, then? I'm interested.
My husband owns a couple! You've got a husband?! Ow! What kind? It's a Glock 17MB ambidextrous magazine catch, recoil-operated, 19 rounds.
Yes, James.
Frodo, call the police.
Ow! Ow! Frodo! Call the police, you fucking moron! I told you we had a toilet.
BANGING Let me out! Let me out now! Frodo! I don't like my life.
So do something.
Frodo! BANGING BANGING Frodo! What was that? Nice one, Frodo.
BANGING BANGING I'm just saying it's a bit of a jump, that's all.
What is? Well, it's weird.
It is.
They steal a car, and he has a knife, sure, but why would they kill someone? Well, he's had the knife since he was 13 years old.
I had an air rifle when I was ten.
Nearly blinded my sister.
That's interesting.
What? Things had started to get slightly out of hand.
I'm going to get you arrested! And then I'm going to sue you! All of you! Shut up! We needed to get out of there.
Look, F-Frodo? Yeah? Is that your actual name? Like, your birth name? Yeah.
Listen, Frodo, we've got to get back on the road.
OK, yeah, cool.
Where are we going? What? I'm coming with you.
What do we need? Juice, snacks? Frodo? For energy.
Frodo! Do you guys smoke? No.
Not really.
I do, from now.
Oh, come on, Frodo! I'm just going to start the car.
He's just hot-wiring.
Takes a while.
Oh, OK, cool.
Do you want some alcohol? Uh, yeah, sure.
Can you grab us a couple of bottles of that whiskey on top? What, this one? Yeah, the Glenn thingy one.
It's really expensive.
Don't you dare! His trust in us is kind of heartbreaking But what are you going to do? MUSIC: KMAG YOYO by Hayes Carll Hey! Drive, drive.
Fucking drive! Wait! # Here I am standin' in the desert with a gun Thought of going AWOL but I'm too afraid to run Woohoo-hoo-hoo! Woohoo-hoo! We're proper bandits, James! # Threw me on a lily pad Sent me home to NORAD I knew I'd be in trouble but I didn't think it be this bad We're sorry to have to do this, but we just need to ask some more questions.
Going back a few years, there was talk among some old colleagues about a couple of accusations made against Clive by some students.
Can you tell us anything about those? Yes.
I can tell you it was a long time ago, and that both accusations were trumped.
We know that And, I can tell you .
.
that some young women, rather than admit their grades are dropping because they're lazy or on drugs half the time, would rather accuse an innocent man of sexual assault.
No-one would have any reason to cause him harm? I would like it if you would get on with your job, and find whoever murdered my son.
Rather than trying to blame him for his own death.
I'll show you out.
Please.
We'll see ourselves out.
He was your only one? It's better to be in charge of the truth, you know? In case it ever comes out.
It tends to, in situations like this, it's It's just my experience.
It's better to be, you know .
.
in control.
Get out.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
DOOR OPENS DOOR CLOSES 'I think I'm starting to feel a bitmore like myself.
'Sometimes I think I feel more like myself with James 'than I do on my own.
' Hey, can you stop? 'Everything feels really simple.
' 'Hello?' Hi, mum.
'Oh, my God, Alyssa, where the hell are you?' We've had the police around here 'Just shut up and listen to me.
' 'Alyssa!' Mum.
'Are you Are you OK?' You're never going to see me again.
Ever.
I'm not coming home.
'What's happened, Alyssa, where are you? 'Are you with your dad?' No.
'Come home, Alyssa.
' Tell Tony I said, "Fuck off.
" Let's go.
Who was on the phone? My mum.
MUSIC: Sweet Thang by Shuggie Otis # Oooh, baby # Sweet thang # Oooh, baby # Sweet thang Sweet thang.
Has Teri left? Eunice.
'Hi, this is Teri, leave a message.
' Oh! Cheers.
GLASSES CLINK Cheers.
It's really nice to meet you.
Hiya.
Eunice, what are you? You've got to come back to work.
I'm sorry, can you You have to see this.
Excuse me, who are you? PC Noon.
You have to see this.
Are you in the police? Is this a date? Seriously, Eunice, can you just How old are you? For fuck's sake You have to see this.
No! You have to, it's important.
Not now.
Yes, now.
I'm really sorry.
CAMERA BEEPS ON WOMAN SCREAMING 'Hey! I said, stay still!' Fucking hell.
SEAGULLS CRY Right, let's do this.
Are you OK? Of course I am.
James, we killed a rapist, turned our backs on the law, and I'm finally going to meet my dad again, it's mega.
Come on.
Yeah? Hi, is Leslie in? Leslie doesn't live here any more.
No.
What? Who are you? Do you know where he is now? Just leave it, James.
Yeah.
They still killed him.
Whatever he might have done, they cut his throat and they've done a runner.
Yeah, but if it was self-defence Then they'll get manslaughter.
So, how did you meet her? What? Oh.
OK, I'm going home.
OVER RADIO: 'DC Noon, come in, DC Noon.
' Yeah, go ahead.
'We found the kids' most recent location.
' Where? 'They robbed a petrol station 100 miles south-east of here 'this morning.
'Held it up at gunpoint, locked the manager in the toilet, 'got the CCTV.
' Coming in now.
How do we know this is the right way? Well, she said left and then left again, so .
.
I think it's this way.
'Sometimes you realise you've had a thing keeping you going 'that might be a lie.
'When you actually really understand that, 'that the whole thing might have been a lie the whole time, 'it's like you swallowed a stone.
'But, not recently.
'You swallowed it years ago.
' What if he's a shit.
Why didn't he tell me that he moved? Maybe it's really recent.
Come on.
'I'm really scared.
' I'm really scared.
Hi, Dad.